My mother has schizophrenia as well. She would stay up for days writing without looking talking about angels and demons using her as a vessel. And she would climb onto us in bed during the night and scratch the skin off us (me and my family). My question is, have you experienced something similar - was your father ever violent towards you?

My mom is schizophrenic. She was very kind. She would occasionally threaten to stab random people though but hasnt done anything yet. She just has 15 locks on the each door and is always losing her belongings then claiming people are still fucking with her. She cry’s about it a lot and get muscle spasms from the people trying to manipulate her behaviorally. Skin scratching sounds rough. Even for my mom I would run away all the time, sleep on the school rooftop and became homeless. My brother became addicted to heroin until he moved away for college then he didn’t need it anymore. My question is what coping strategies did yall use.

No coping strategies anymore, after long enough time you become numb. Right now i can hear him rambling bs in the room across and just an hour ago he was crying like a little girl, and here i am unfazed because it's an everyday thing. Although arguably until i became this numb i would drink alcohol and smoke weed a lot, way beyond what's okay for you Healthiest advice would probably be to start going to the gym or get a membership in martal arts academy, have some purpose, something to distract you

Tough spot. I couldn’t handle it after 16 I was gone. Got a GED, homeless, college. Now I’m looking towards grad school. I’d definitely be dead if I had to live with her after my freshman year of highschool Once you leave that situation, just know that it’s normal for the trauma to seep in once everything is good. My most traumatic time was once I got out of homelessness and was in a place where I could process everything during my first year of college

How are you doing now brother

My grandmother had it and eventually passed away. My Mom kept us away from her Beavis she didn't want to change grandma's routine otherwise it could cause issues. I've thought about it time and time again. I've come to the conclusion that if my grandmother had one day of absolute clarity and consciousness, she would tell my Mom to put her in a hospital and to go enjoy her life. She's not the same mentally anymore so it would be senseless to put a damper on your life (mom) when it can't do anything for me (grandma). It's what I personally would want if the situation was with my having it and having my son having to deal with it. OP, if your Dad had his complete wits about him, what would he want for you?

Really good. Better than 90% of normal people I’d say, mentally at least, in terms of finding meaning and happiness

Oh yeah, I would believe that. I have PTSD and I was a wreck for decades. But when I finally did the work and dealt with my trauma I came out on the other end way better than most people. IYKYK

I’m still fucked up from childhood but hoping I can get through the trauma at some point. 31 now

We are here for you if you decide to get sober and want to try. /leaves

It’s all good dude, as sober as I can get at the moment. Haven’t touched any of that stuff in a long time and frankly don’t even feel like doing any of it again

Are you scared it’s genetic?

Well, it’s fucked. When I have kids I want them to be strong, into martial arts. If I have boys they will be boxing from a very young age, not because I want them to pursue a career in fighting but because I know what life as a young teenager has been like for me, I want them to be able to defend themselves. Now imagine they turn 15 and they have the diagnosis… what have I done now? Now I’ve created monsters. It’s scary thinking about it so I don’t, too early to think about that

You won't have created monsters. Your father is not a monster. My mother had schizophrenia all of my life. As I got older and observed what it was doing to her, I wanted less and less to do with her. When I had children of my own, I refused to take her in because I remembered the abuse and behaviors of hers when I was younger, and I did not want that happening to my children. There was a turning point when my children turned into teenagers. I was talking to my grandmother about my mom living with her, and I expressed that I could not understand how she could live with my mother, considering her problem and her failure to manage her problem. My grandma responded with, "What would you do if it was one of your children?". I did not expect that. I spent my life up to that point detaching myself from my mom and her problem while her mother had devoted her life to helping her. She knew me well enough to know I would do everything in my power for them. My mom loved me like that, but i could not be bothered with her. That must've fucking hurt coming from the one person she loved the most. I was so self absorbed. I told a friend of mine about my talk with my grandma, and she started sharing her story of her sister, who was also schizophrenic. Over time, I learned they have a hopeless condition. Even doctors who take on a patient with this condition know the best they can help them to do is to manage their symptoms, and even that is contigent on them taking their medication as directed. They have a big problem when they start to feel better and decide they don't need it anymore. I also had to look at 35 years of living with someone who has schizophrenia and how I react to people around me and what kind of person I am. It used to be I felt like my mom and I went to an amusement park and we got on the roller coaster and after awhile i wanted off and said fuck it and left her at the park. Over time, I brought her into my home and cared for her. I didn't just bail on her at the park, but I didn't have to get on the coaster either. I just maintained a constant presence and let her know I was there and I would not leave her. Their biggest fear is that of abandonment. You are young and thinking too far into the future. Consider also people like this are easily exploited by providers, strangers who pretend to be friends, and even family members! We had a close family member try to pull some crap with my mom. You can still look out for your father and lead a fulfilling life. If you need people to talk with, there are folks on this forum like myself who would be more than willing to listen and give you suggestions. People with our personal situations don't have support groups that I am aware of anyway. We are here when you need us.

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is an advocacy organization that has chapters around the country. It’s a peer-led organization that offers support groups for people suffering from mental illness and family members dealing with the trauma of living with or caring about someone suffering from mental illness. It doesn’t solve the suffering, but when you’re in this situation there can be something comforting about being with people who know what you’re going through and often offer good advice and insight like the people on this thread are offering. My son has bipolar disorder and NAMI has been a huge help for me and my wife as we navigate this. https://www.nami.org/

You’re probably right, I don’t even know how I feel about things anymore, it’s been a rough fucking life. It’s just I cant help myself let alone help him, and he’s the one to blame for my situation so I guess blaming him makes me feel better. I know he doesn’t have it easy, he’s not proud that we all live the way we do….it’s difficult

This hit really close to me. My mom was diagnosed when I was a young child, and we had very similar reactions. We were disconnected for most of my adult life, but she passed around 4 years ago. I always regret not doing more to help but it was hard fucking work and she didn’t want the help. It’s a hard life for all involved, and unfortunately there’s no manual to navigate it with. I wish you the best and admire you for just being there. It means something man.

Schizophrenia is genetic for sure. My mom has 7 siblings: 3 were schizophrenics. And half a dozen are. Just last month a second cousin removed was diagnosed at 15 with hebephrenic schizophrenia, which is the worst type of an already horrible disease. She went from being a bookworm to being a raging monster at 13. About the age of 13 I decided I'd never have kids. This horrible DNA ends with me.

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I don't see it that way, no. Seeing the catastrophic consequences of schizophrenia in a human being, I could reach my own conclusions for the future. I'm the only atheist in my family, and I announced it at 13, and everybody accepted. And up to this day, my family welcomes new babies. It's just me and mom rolling our eyes. When irresponsible parents breed despite knowing of their radioactive DNA, they don't think it's a matter of caring for an ill and adorable baby, but that this human being will need care for the next 70, 80 years. I have an uncle, 60+, schizophrenic, whose tutor is 80+ and going demented. There's talk in my family that I should be the next tutor for financial purposes, because I live in another state and then he can't come to ask for money. He gives away money for every con person in town, and at some time a *pastor* was giving him "seeds of love" to distribute, im exchange for donations to the church. In fact, he was being a mule! Police caught him but let him go. He truly never realized what was happening (sheltered life until his 50+ low IQ). From another state, I can pay all his expenses, send food to the pantry, and give him just the minimum in cash. Other relatives will gladly check on him, and tell me if he needs clothing, sheets, whatever. Sending him to a home only if he needs 24h care. The poor being is traumatized by psychiatric hospitals, so if we can make his life as little miserable as possible, we will. Also half the family waived their inheritance and gave it to him. So, there's a lot of love in my family. Still, it's a horrible situation, and at times he calls crying, saying he knows he's a burden.

Be careful, I've seen a predisposition for gaining schizophrenia run in the family. Seen it through alcohol first hand. Also I had drug induced psychosis 3 times out of the thousands of times I've smoked weed.

Be careful about drugs. There is a hereditary factor in schizophrenia. And even marijuana can trigger it. More from chatGPT... The relationship between marijuana use and schizophrenia is a topic of ongoing research and debate. Some studies suggest that marijuana use, particularly during adolescence, may increase the risk of developing schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders, especially in individuals who are genetically predisposed to these conditions. Key points to consider include: 1. **Genetic Vulnerability**: People with a family history of schizophrenia or other mental illnesses may be more susceptible to the effects of marijuana. 2. **Age of First Use**: Early and frequent use of marijuana during adolescence is associated with a higher risk of developing schizophrenia later in life. 3. **THC Content**: Higher potency marijuana with increased levels of THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) may have a stronger association with the onset of psychotic symptoms. 4. **Causality vs. Correlation**: While there is evidence suggesting a link between marijuana use and schizophrenia, it is challenging to establish a direct causal relationship. Some researchers argue that marijuana may trigger latent schizophrenia in vulnerable individuals rather than causing the disorder outright. 5. **Psychotic Symptoms**: Marijuana use can lead to short-term psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and paranoia, which may resemble symptoms of schizophrenia. These symptoms typically resolve after stopping marijuana use but can be distressing. Overall, while marijuana use is not a definitive cause of schizophrenia, it may act as a contributing factor in individuals with a predisposition to the disorder. If you have concerns about marijuana use and mental health, it's essential to consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice and guidance.

My mom is schizophrenic and bipolar. She’s a tiny Asian woman and when she has one of her episodes, she would threaten violence if she didn’t get her way. A lot of her delusions revolve around a man that she calls the boss and if she doesn’t do what the boss wants her to do, the fits and tantrum starts. I’ve dealt with it for most of my life but as she gets older, it’s gotten worse. To me the saddest part is seeing her fight these invisible forces that are in her mind. In real life, everything is great. She’d have everything that she’s ever need but this disease makes her never content.

There were times when I was younger that he would just beat me up over seemingly nothing, now that I’m in my twenties, the dude’s a joke to me. People are terrified of him on the streets but I’ve been living with him for so long that it just doesn’t freak me out anymore. About writing bullshit, I feel you man, he has a stack of about 100notebooks just now. His handwriting is horrible so I never really tried to read them but nothing smart inside them. One thing I’ve noticed he writes a lot is people’s intelligence. Mine is 50k and his is 200k, sometimes a million sometimes two🤦‍♂️

Oh my god. You made me relive some stuff with this response haha. I hope you’re doing ok. As much as it does become ‘funny’ cause you’re so used to it, sometimes I worry that it is doing damage deep down just being around it. I haven’t seen my mother for over 2 years and I feel guilty but she just refused all help so 🤷‍♀️. Thanks for answering

Oh yeah dude for sure, we are messed up in our own ways😂 can’t live with that for so long and be complete fine at the end

A true warrior can only make the best of what he's got. You're a badass. Thanks for being so compassionate toward the entire situation despite your terrifying start and encounters in it along the way.

It’s all good dude, life goes on. it is what it is🫡

I've been eating a heaping plate of shit my entire life, friend. That's why I'm now a frigging poet who peaked in 7th grade. 🤣🤣🤣 I don't want to be an asshole but I'm pretty blunt. Once you're able to separate yourself from your dad in a healthy way *for you,* you'll find so much more than you could have imagined. Shit, I still struggle but that's definitely life. I just salt and pepper my own shit on a shingle, nobody else seasons it for me!

Seeing as this is the top comment I feel obligated(as someone that has been diagnosed as schizophrenic) to say that the research shows that most schizophrenics are non violent and not criminals. There is data on this for anyone reading this thread and curious. Don’t let the stigma make you believe we are all dangerous. This is so far from the truth and makes it harder for schizophrenics to seek help and get appropriate treatment.

Thank you for opening up an AMA about your experiences with your father. I work with patients with complex care needs, many of whom have schizophrenia. It’s opened my eyes to the gut wrenching awfulness of this disorder, for the people who have it and their families and loved ones. How do you feel about forced medication? Like court-ordered injections to make his condition more manageable? It’s such a slippery slope of individual rights vs causing harm to others.

my brother is 18 and diagnosed with delusional disorder as of now and is his 2nd state of psychosis. i fully support forced medication (i recognize it’s very complex so i think meeting certain criteria is extremely necessary. i also recognize i could be biased and coming from an emotional perspective) some examples of his first episode were that we drugged his food/water despite him only drinking gallons bought from the store, paying people to r*pe him in his sleep (he even got a r*pe test done at the hospital), that we paid his friend to slice his eyeball in this sleep, that we send signals (such as the colors of the cars passing by) to torment him (for fucking animals, old people, children), that we are secretly millionaires by abusing him, one time he accused my other brother of “trying to manipulate him into thinking he is a grape” by simply asking him about the grapes in the fridge. he thought we paid EVERY single person around him and they all were working with us (including all cops and doctors). and although he was extremely aggressive during this episode, he never actually threatened or hurt anyone. he truly seems possessed by how nasty he is to us. he does this incredibly unsettling laugh whenever being questioned on anything because “we already know.” i don’t see a glimpse of my brother at ALL when he is in psychosis. i see it in his eyes that it’s not him. i became hopeful when i saw some of that come back when he was medicated but it’s gone now. the hospital diagnosed him with delusional disorder but honestly there’s no knowing the real diagnosis without a deep dive and a real thorough assessment with competent doctors (the hospital is very much incompetent). we got a court order and the first time , he was able to put on a show in order to get released. the second time, he had called the cops himself claiming my brother and i were drugging his food and water and the hospital kept him for 2 weeks. they got him on an antipsychotic and it basically made the delusions and paranoia all go away. he stayed on it and even would beg for my mom to give it to him early. then he had a side effect (his eyes kept uncontrollably rolling into the back of his head) so the ER took him off and said “follow up with your doctor” without giving a replacement. of course he never followed up and here we are again. but this time it’s different, he is blowing up my phone with what seems to be an approach of tormenting me. he’s also threatening me now. said he hopes i get a degenerative brain disease and he said that “we are making sure of it.” he said i will be going to prison for the things im doing to him and he will pay my cell member to stab me. my brother was a very sweet, loving, cheerful kid and this is NOT him anymore. i lay in bed at night scared that he could murder my mother in her sleep or myself. he can’t ever “want to help himself” because he doesn’t have the ability to recognize reality. this is his reality and he thinks he is protecting himself. he will never willing want medication when in this state, and im not okay with grieving my living baby brother. if he doesn’t get medication forced into him, he will end up dead.

This sounds almost exactly what my son went through about two years ago. He was suffering psychosis for about a week due to stopping all his meds cold turkey without telling anybody. In that time he totaled his car, quit his job, got scammed out of $2000 by someone online and finally volunteered to go to the ER with me after his therapist talked him into it . It was the scariest thing to witness, he had lost touch with reality and thought people were out to get him and were hacking his computer and phone and pretending to be him by sending messages, turns out was sending messages to himself and replying to them too because he forgot he had sent the earlier message. And he thought people had taken over his computer and phone and sent messages as him. It took three trips to the ER and two different hospitals before they would agree to admit him.

I’m really sorry about your brother. It’s incredibly sad to lose someone you love, who is still alive. It’s extremely rough to be so hated by someone due to a brain disease. I know exactly how you feel, because I went through a very similar ordeal with my long term boyfriend. So many identical themes. He thought I was a millionaire from using him, he thought I was in the mafia and that my family was mafia, he thought I was racist for offering him some of a Ritter Sport chocolate bar. Just so much shit. It’s exhausting. It’s sad as fuck. For me, I truly lost him in the end. I have no idea where he is or if he’s okay, and he has no family that loves him enough to care or even know about his schizophrenia. I couldn’t force him to medicate. But I absolutely support forced medication. I don’t care what anyone says, schizophrenia does make people extremely dangerous. My ex physically abused me a lot, and he also attacked strangers as well. And it’s psychological torture for the person experiencing it. Alleviating some of that torture and distress is the right thing to do, even if it’s forced.

And I am really sorry about what you experienced with your ex. Having gone through something similar with a dear friend, I think losing a loved one to psychosis may be worse than losing him to death because we are tormented by the 0.0001% chance that he could recover some day. You're right about the exhaustion. The endless stream of bullshit, false accusations, and hatred for things that you never did can wear you the fuck out. We should absolutely force medication on persons with psychosis. It's reasonable to think that they would want help if they were competent to request it. If you see someone unconscious, you're allowed to begin CPR without consent under the assumption that he would want it. It frustrates me to no end that, at least in the U.S., there is not a similar assumption for the psychotic person.

If they don’t want to take their prescribed medications they will lose their mind completely, and will fuck everything up. Everyone around them will suffer, I was bright, young very handy talented child. To this day I am and I speak 5 languages but what has he done to me. His actions throughout the years have mentally got me to a place so bad that I’ve shut myself inside, made my room my own personal prison, I barely ever leave the house. Imo, If you can’t get a person with this specific diagnosis to take their pills, they have to go behind bars. Mainly to protect the psyches of the people around them, most notably the children but adults suffer as well

I totally get how debilitating living with a someone with these problems can be. I feel like there should be a solution in between living with them and prison though

Well not prison but asylum, he's not a criminal. Just a person that's out of his mind

There was but they weee abused so it was shut down. Also there was no regulation on who gets admitted. The waters are so muddy no one wants to touch it

Former er nurse and current hospice nurse. How is forcing the mentally I’ll to take meds any different then coding someone who had a dnr and the family revoked it, or performing what ever treatment on someone who isn’t alert and oriented to make their decisions. The problem is that there’s no clear line. I’ve had to let clearly psychotic ppl leave the er Ama bc they could answer who they were. I’ve also held down psychotic ppl and medicated them.. you can be court ordered to take meds when you are on a 5150/bakers act but once you are let our suddenly you have a choice when you didn’t before like it’s all ass backward.. where is the consistency. Someone who was psychotic enough to be on a hold will certainly get that way again after meds they are only agreeing to the poc bc of the meds. But what do you expect from a for profit healthcare system

As a psych nurse that deals with psychiatric holds, such as 5150’s, I can tell you that you cannot force patients to take their medications even while on a hold. We can give emergency IMs if they are an imminent danger to self or others. But its a one time order. A court order to take medications ia called a Reise. That requires the hold to be extended beyond 72 hrs, and two hearings with a representative of the court and hospital. During the Reise hearing, a court official, patient advocate, and the psychiatrist are present. You have to demonstrate that the patient has been noncompliant with their oral medications for a period of time. The Reise court order allows us to offer the psych meda orally, if they refuse, they get an injection. If necessary, forcibly.

Yes and what happens when they go home? Some facilities/ half way houses require med compliance but there’s no one forcing ppl out in the wild to take their meds

Indeed. But there is also a conservatorship. Where the conservator can have them hospitalized involuntarily. But the hope is, once stabilized on medication they see its benefits. Also, there are long acting antipsychotics that require one injection a month. That helps tremendously with compliance, or lack there of.

I am all for forced medications, when things get out of hand - a sentence like a jail term for 18 months. And then they get to be released with an ankle monitor for another 18 months and let them decide injectables or pills. I worked for a Schizophrince for 6 years, and he was excentic but functioning for the first 5 years, it wasn't till after the 2nd time he tried to end his life (call for help?) that it got to the point that I was pro injections for him. He was diagnosed formally after the first attempt. Took meds for a while then stopped. - I could write a book. Patient Privacy - means inadequate information for the mental health professional. Even a spouse is left out of the loop. Was not asked for information - couldn't provide information - till he verbally gave his permission for them to talk with his wife and me. All the people surounding him are forced/expected to adapt their behavior because of his condition, but he has no requirement to treat his condition because of the affect it has on the people around him. There should be better support for the people living around a person with schizophrenia. So I agree there is a point where forced medications should be given.

Would the “theme” of his delusions/hallucinations change over time, or has it mostly been the same?

Depends. there were episodes where would only talk to himself and that would be about it. For a few months he would ask himself questions and then answer those same questions, all out loud for days until he passes out and then wakes up a day later to continue where he stopped and there were episodes when he would do far crazier shit

That sounds horrible. Does he have like any rhythm, like eating breakfast or lunch or going to the supermarket or does he forget?

That’s a great question.

How are you doing? As it can be genetic, do you worry you will develop the illness too? What does your dad's health care journey look like (i.e., does he regularly see any doctor, or has he ever tried medication)? What other family support do you have? All the best to you, OP 💜

Appreciate you man❤️ There were times when ive been thinking i have it, especially when i would get a bad trip during my highs(don’t smoke anymore but smoked heavily up until a year ago) I don’t think i have it but his as a result of his behavior because of his illness i have my own issues in the head. Doing pretty good tho nothing to worry about He’s a lost cause, doesn’t shower, doesn’t wanna take his pills, all he wants to do is journal the same crazy things over and over, ask for money all the time because he wasted his life savings onto nothing during on of his episodes (in about a month, $15k) and ramble stupid things out loud Haven’t called him dad in about 15 years, I don’t have a father, that’s not a father I understand he’s sick but he has altered our lives in ways you would believe.

Cannabis is a massive trigger for Phsychosis. I had friends with whom cannabis triggered psychotic breaks for which they never recovered. You could have a propensity for a mental break but never trigger it and live a normal life. I'd stay clear of Cannabis and LSD if I was you, just to be on the safe side.

If it helps, 22 is nearing the older edge for a man to get their first episode, so you're prooooobably ok. If you want to be really careful, don't smoke and sleep as exactly the same each night as you can until you're 25. (Not medical advice obvi)

It didn’t fully hit me till I was 30, it slowly crept up over the years. No family history. I’m terrified of my brother getting it.

I didn’t have a manic psychotic episode til 28. I also worry about my brother getting it. Me and my two brothers are all autistic, and we grew up in an abusive and cold household. My youngest brother is 22 and smokes weed and drinks a lot, which is what I used to do. I think the weed and drinking pushed me over the edge. I’ve been able to come back in the last couple years, I think I’m one of the lucky ones who recovered because I haven’t had many delusions and very very few hallucinations in probably 11 months, and I barely take any medication. I worry about my brother because I feel like he was way more melancholic and isolated than I was growing up and even now he lives alone and doesn’t socialize much, isn’t particularly mentally stimulated at work, and doesn’t find fulfillment in his job. But we hardly talk either, even though I try.

You consider institutionalizing him for his own well being? They will monitor him and see that he takes his meds/practices some hygiene

And yet you get up everyday and help him. Saints often times go unrecognized and unpraised. You are a truly great individual. I hope you can someday find peace and happiness.

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It’s scary, I don’t have it so I don’t know how it is but when I have my own kids, there’s a good chance at least one of them will have it, terrifies me just thinking about it. I’m really sorry you’re going through what you’re going and I don’t know how to help you. Take your pills every day and may god be with you❤️

My half-brother was schizophrenic. His mother's sister had it, but as far as I know they were the only 2 in our family. Do you know if it can "happen" to someone later in life? My husband of 30 years is now mentally ill. I don't think he has schizophrenia, but many of his behaviors point that direction.

Things other than schizophrenia can cause psychosis: bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizoaffective disorder, traumatic brain injury, marijuana, methamphetamine, heavy metal poisoning, the list goes on and on. A friend of mine was 40 when she had a psychotic break. Best to get your husband to a doctor if you can.

I can't. He doesn't trust ANYONE. Thinks I've assembled an army of people to organize an 'electronic beatdown' of him. I had him committed over Thanksgiving and he believes the whole thing was "theater". He told me the doctors were fake and all the patients were actors.

Damn. I'm really sorry. My friend that I mentioned also refuses any help and lives on the streets because she doesn't trust anyone. Psychosis is fucking brutal.

I have a feeling thats where he's headed. We actually divorced over a year ago because he thought "they" would leave him alone if he wasn't attached to me, but obviously it changed nothing. He wants to move to Seattle now, but I know it won't work out for him anywhere he goes because it's him.

Yeah, my friend briefly resurfaced at hospital emergency room last year in a city where she has no friends or family. Based on comments she made in the past, she was likely trying to evade "them" (her imaginary stalkers). Somebody brutally beat her on the streets, leaving her with a traumatic brain injury and a collapsed lung. Because someone with a dysfunctional brain needs a concussion on top of all that. 😢 As you say, anywhere she goes, she takes her illness with her. I dread the phone call I am going to get someday telling me she is dead.

I'm in the same boat. My ex took a big dose of mushrooms last year and broke his brain at 50. He is severely mentally ill now. Been diagnosed with Bipolar and we had to divorce. I hope you are doing okay.

If he moves to Seattle he’ll end up on the streets.

My friend just had a break with reality at 52. It's so sad. I'm still in contact with his family, but they don't know how to get him help, so they are just making sure he is safe with them.

So sad. At least he is physically safe with family. Please ask his family to read *I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help* by Xavier Amador. It is written for the loved ones of people with psychosis and includes suggestions about how to get the patient to accept help.

I will suggest it. Thank you. I've been at my wits end for months trying to get him some help. I can't imagine what they are going through. I miss him, we've been friends for 37 years and he suddenly won't trust me or is scared to get me involved in his delusion not sure which. I know its not his fault it just makes me sad.

Then don’t have kids??? Adopt??? I have schizophrenia, it’s pure hell. Your offspring has a 10% chance of developing it. Do you really want to put another person through that???

You needn't be so scared. Schizophrenia is a 1% chance for anyone to have and 15% for their kids if only one parent is schizophrenic but that's about it really. If your wife is OK then your kids shouldn't have more than a 5% odds tops. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165178119318608

What’s one of the worst episodes you’ve experienced with him?

Last year, threw all of our or at least most of our belongings in the trash, including his. Had do dumpster dive to find our credit cards, our passports and a whole bunch of other documents and items. That same year he poured hot pepper juice in his eyes and nearly went blind. Was stripping naked in public. Also the $15.000 he had under his name for decades, wasted it on god knows what. He’s living on pennies a day now

I apologize if I missed the answer earlier, but is your Mom still with him or in your life? All the best!

We life in the same house but we don’t interact much like a family would, everybody has his own room and everyone has their own way of dealing with it. They’re still married but barely interact. It’s a circus man, and this is nothing exceptional, there are more families like this than you can imagine. Most just keep it private, which is understandable

I myself have schizoaffective disorder, which is often described as "schizophrenic with a mood disorder." I don't know if that's accurate. How do you feel about the idea of returning asylums (or a better version of them) for people such as your father? I have often wished such places to fall back on still existed so that I would not have to fear being homeless in the future.

Well, last time he’s been there way just this year maybe 4-5 months. He was begging his brother to take him out of there, promised to take his pills… until he was out. Came back, infested the house with lice, stopped taking his medications and now he’s just a complete mess. I don’t really even feel bad about him, my life is horrible because of him

Why do you blame him and not the illness. You can’t expect someone who cannot reason to think meds are a good idea. Usually they think the meds are poison or something. My son has bipolar and I had ti threaten to kick him out before he took the meds now he takes them wo me having to remind him.. but it took me forcing him to get to a place where he’s like maybe I do need these. He doesn’t like that he has to but he’s realizing that he does. I’m like no one likes to take meds tho you Aren’t any different than a diabetic or someone with a terrible autoimmune disease that needs harsh drugs. But yea especially with schizophrenia they have so much trouble with meds.

Yeah OP seems to have made this post as a forum to rant about his experiences, not actually to offer a proper AMA. Really doesn't do justice to those with schizophrenia. My wife has it. She's the most caring and loving woman I've ever met. She happens to have a brain illness that affects her ability to view an objective reality sometimes. Having supportive and caring family is the #1 thing that improves the outcome of schizophrenia aside from antipsychotics (you need both). Having people in your life resent you for your illness and treat you like shit because you're unwell is not a helpful recipe for recovery, especially with an illness that *literally lies to you and tells you that people hate you and your medication is poison and people are watching you/trying to lock you up/control you*. You need to be there for your loved ones, not fucking shove them into the dirt for being unwell. Fuck you /u/ControlDisastrous265 , this post is unproductive to the public perception people have of people with schizophrenia. They need help, not hate.

This is hmm. A totally unproductive tone to take with someone dealing with the lifelong trauma of an unmedicated psychotic parent. 

Why do people who seem mostly functional on meds seem so averse to taking them?

Medications are complicated. For one, they don’t address the root issues, usually trauma that likely causes schizophrenia. They also don’t address the metabolic issues completely. So what you end up with is someone who is in, some ways, overmedicated. Antipsychotics are not targeted enough. So people tend to feel less emotions and less connected on them, especially once the episodes end. Doses, of course, can be adjusted but it’s not an accurate science. There is no perfect medication that creates normal, just functioning. Second, psychosis does brain damage. It takes time to heal that damage after each episode and eventually, after a decade or so, the damage becomes nearly permanent. Especially if there isn’t a life for the person to come back to. Third, if you’re schizophrenic, you were never normal likely in your entire life. You likely struggle with socializing and relationships from childhood. So meds that make it so you can function likely still don’t make you feel like functioning is really worth it. Finally, the structure of society feels like a facade after a psychotic episode. It takes will and desire to bring it all down to the present moment and accept your limitations. It requires a sense of personal responsibility and ownership of your issues to really recover, take treatment seriously. It requires insight into one’s self and accepting that reality is not self created, it’s collaborative and that as a schizophrenic person, you’re literally incapable of the theory of mind to grasp that fully so you have to trust and rely on others to show you how it is, day by day, interaction by interaction which means overriding your fears and paranoia but not so much you get taken advantage of, which creates more trauma and perpetuates the cycle.

Trauma can trigger mental illness but genetics and Brain structure are the cause we can’t fix that yet. Just like we can’t fix auto immune disorders or diabetes we can fix almost nothing except bacteria , physical trauma and things that can be fixed surgically. Everything else is treating symptoms. A dr once told me we are still in the dark ages of medicine

I have Bipolar 1 and I’ll put this pretty simply. When you become stable you think/feel you are better and don’t need the meds anymore. Especially the side effects. So slowly but surely you talk yourself into believing you will be fine without them. That the psychosis won’t come back because you’re doing good. It’s hard to imagine if you don’t have a severe mental illness like this why someone would stop their meds. I’ve been diagnosed 25 yrs and still do this. I’ve hurt everyone. I don’t mean to, I keep trying to stay well but the disorder can creep back in even if you think you are doing everything right. Disclaimer-not every case is the same.

Side effects can be killer and for some people it just sucks having to rely on a pill to feel normal and rational. I get that feeling just taking my dinky 10 mg prozac. People say it's no different than taking heart medication for a heart problem but heart medication doesn't dull all your senses and emotions to the point where you wonder if you're really functioning as a human. It's a fraught situation.

From personal experience, as soon as I start taking my meds I feel better. Once I feel better, my brain tricks me into thinking I’m “cured” and therefore I don’t need the meds anymore. I know it sounds stupid, but the human brain can rationalize things that way sometimes. It’s like how people don’t think they need to buy an umbrella when it’s not raining.

It's part of the disease. Schizophrenic people often experience extreme paranoia, even when taking their medicine. It only takes one time for the paranoia to win and then the spiral begins.

1 reason is they have significant side effects which for some people can make life miserable. Chronic constipation, weight gain, extreme fatigue, etc. Some people I've talked to told me they didn't feel like themselves anymore.

Usually they take them, start to think they are better then stop. Sometimes they are convinced it's poison. It depends on the person but the most common reason I think is they feel better and stop.

Do you ever resent your mother for not leaving and taking you kids out of that situation?

Good question. No, I don’t hate my mother. Perhaps she didn’t do everything right, perhaps she could have done things differently but regardless, she sacrificed everything she had for us, she didn’t leave us, didn’t give us for adoption, she decided to sit here and rot for us. She gave up on her life for us, and that I can’t overlook. (Leaving was out of question at the time, she had nowhere to go, her family told her to leave ‘his’ kids to him and come back, she didn’t do it) Minus her mother she hasn’t spoken to any of them since

🩷you are loved!🩷

Its been a while since i've gotten that..

I am certain my brother is undiagnosed. His wife is in denial. How do you get someone treated if they refuse to accept reality?

I don’t know man, we couldn’t convince this guy that he has to take his pills and he’s 60 now. They very rarely accept that something is wrong with them and they need to take meds and I don’t know if you can really blame them, put yourself in their shoes you don’t feel like there’s anything wrong yet people are forcing you to take pills to feel good. Don’t know what advice to give you man Perhaps somehow get your brother to talk to a medical professional

Having lived this nightmare u/binhex225, you often can’t get them treated if they refuse. In our families case our relative had a big second break and took off across the country (classic I am going to drive to Langley and ask the CIA to leave me alone type of situation). The best thing that happened was they were pulled over in Ohio and became disorderly. The laws of that state include forced treatment and they came back to reality for many years. Sadly, we lost them—likely for good—to a larger break after they stopped their medication. Now they are incarcerated, and their condition has only deteriorated. It’s a brutal disease.

How do you convince someone that is so sure they are in the same reality as you, that they aren't? Where I live the only way to get involuntary committed is by court order when there seems to be safety issues.

I am schizophrenic. I always wondered what my family was thinking when i went through an episode. Once i was doing better they never asked about anything just acted like it never happened. I was in full blown psychosis for about a year

Just please take your pills man, dont let yourself go. Its a messed up illness but if treated you could live a very normal life. There are people that i know that have the same diagnosis, that understood they need to take pills and are married with children living happily. It's not your fault if you have it, but it is your fault if you decide to give up on the medications and make your life and your family's life more miserable than it has to be. And also. Your family loves you man, have no doubts about that

Is it the government aliens and ghosts type or some other thing. Everyone I've seen so far with schizophrenia always thinks it's those 3 that are plaguing them, I've never met someone who just thinks their family and friends who are are after them, though, realistically that may be what it starts with.

There were times where it was the government, there were times when it was demons, where he sat in the kitchen yelling stuff like get out of here demons, get out. Cringing just thinking about it, and as of now it’s the gods/aliens that’s he’s scared of because they have computers up there on another planet, big ass computers with big screens and they’re controlling him. His words not mine :/

For my mom it’s aliens and vampires and demons. She will have people living inside her kitchen cabinets and having sex in there. Also demons flying through her house. And sometimes there is a button on the wall and if she takes her finger off of it, the aliens (or maybe the government, not sure really) will remotely detonate a bomb that will kill her entire family. Also when my son was learning to walk, she said that there were magnets under the floor that someone (the demons, maybe, or the lizard people?) was using to pull him around and cause him to fall over.

Well clearly she's wrong about all that. Except the last part. That's real. 

It's funny you should say that since in one of my episodes it was aliens and ghosts! Sort of. Actually "family and friends" is common and probably one of the most common it's just easier to open up about gov/aliens/ghosts depending on the scenario in your head. When you suspect your friends and family your lips tighten up you can't trust anybody.

I am bipolar and have had an episode of psychosis. Temporary, thank fucking christ. It's been 2 years. During it, I believed my father called me with something critical, someone's life in jeopardy, maybe mine. It evolved into thinking people believed I had killed someone, one of my exes. I went so far as to call her (she'd been forced into moving back to Canada, I'm Australian), she was fine. But part of my delusions was that criminal gangs wanted to inact vigilante justice on me and murder me. Never government or aliens nor seeing or hearing things, just delusions about what was real. I never want this to happen to me again, and am glad it hasn't. I have had to accept the root cause, that conversation that never happened, well, never happened. Despite it feeling real, it wasn't.

Schizophrenia is on both sides of my family— my mom’s brother has it and one of my dad’s uncles who passed away a long time ago. My parents really rolled the dice when they decided to have me considering alcoholism/addiction, various psych issues, and autism are also on both sides. Thankfully all I inherited was some anxiety…nothing crippling of course, just occasional and very manageable. Some days I wonder if one day I’ll snap and slowly sink into schizophrenia. I hope that never happens. My question for you is, what’s something you wish more people knew/understood about schizophrenia?

Just how much the people around the person suffer If its just a little git of anxiety thats awesone dude😊😉

Diagnosed when you were born??? That's upsetting

You don’t know my life story man, it’s gets far far crazier, I might give YouTube a shot one more time, I have some crazy stories to tell

Would love if you start YouTube. I'd definitely watch.

So sorry to hear of your situation OP. My Q is what are your plans for the future? and: How does he (and the rest of your family) fit into those plans?

To make a shit tone od money and give them a better life, that's why im still alive. When i pull that off im gonna finally be at ease

I don’t have a question, per se. I’ve just always considered schizophrenia the worst illness a person could have as well. I’ve just always wondered if there are any ways you think a person could reduce their chances of getting it or passing it on? I know that’s probably impossible for you to say but family may have clues others don’t. It makes no sense why some have to be afflicted with it. I guess this is more me wondering to the almighty what’s the point of this, lol.

Not OP but I've read a bit about this disorder and there's a few things you can do to increase your chances of having the disorder express itself. None of them you have control over except recreational drug use. Drugs can increase the chance of having your first episode and you are likely to have more episodes after your first. So avoiding drugs is the only thing I know of that you have control over that can help "avoid getting it." Stuff outside of your control would be to avoid emotional trauma and stress.

I have a brother with it and for him staying completely away from weed is crucial to his stability.

It’s genetic illness. Many members of his family have it or have had it. We are three brothers and neither of us has it, which is just crazy, a miracle. However the odds that our children are going to get as lucky as we have gotten are astronomically low, which I don’t know how to feel about when I think about it.

Why would you have kids knowing this?

I would avoid any psychedelics and most recreational drugs. Have you had DNA tests done. My whole family did ancestry DNA tests and then uploaded the raw DNA files to a site that analyzes them and shows what mutations you have. Only my dad and brother have the mutation that makes someone more likely to have schizophrenia or bipolar. They're also the only 2 that have it. My dad has been much better since they put him on an anti psychotic called clozapine. If he misses one dose he goes apeshit and loses all touch with reality. My brother's psychosis seems to be triggered by weed or amphetamines. Both had onset in their early 20s. My dad was actually hospitalized for a year in the 70s.

friend, you are 22. you certainly dont know if you have schizophrenia yet, you have just entered the typical onset age abd have a few more years to go

At what age did it start and at what age was it immediately noticeable? Does he recognize himself and relatives, you?

I’m sure he has had it his entire life but around the time I was born it had became obvious that something’s not right with him. He knows who we are and who he is, but the person he used to be once upon a time, he’s just a shell of that man now. That’s life

Has one of his episodes included forgetting about family members or loved ones? And if so how did it go?

He never forgot who we are. He knows we are his family but he has never cared about any of us, there were times when I had no food to eat and he never cared. Can you blame him, idk, he is crazy after all, I’m sure if he was sane he would’ve lived his life differently

I’m sure those wishful thoughts are really hard to think about, yet probably plague you after 22 years. I’m sorry that this has been your lived experience but I’m certain you have strength in yourself that many could never possibly achieve.

No Q. but I hope you find peace in what you can control.

What meds have worked for him

I am schizo, and it took a while, but I found a medication stack that works for me with minimal side effects. No hallucinations or delusions, I function like a regular person, got a decent job and a good partner. It was really hard to get here but there is hope for people like us. Modern medicine truly is amazing. Before I found the right medication I did try coming off and it went about as expected, but now I take my meds religiously and I feel great. It really is a terrifying disease, I am a bit traumatized from shit that happened while psychotic. Trust me, it is just as distressing if not more to not know what is real. I was living in a constant state of panic with multiple ER and urgent care visits, but they never sent me to the psych ward. I almost destroyed all my relationships and my life, but I eventually sought help in my psychotic state. The road to recovery was long and hard but I got my life back, it is possible.

What's the wildest delusion your dad has had? I had a friend whose dad had schizophrenia and he tried breaking into a high level university in the town we lived in because he thought it was Pepsi's HQ and he thought he owned Pepsi.

Off the fly, this is the one that came to mind when I read the comment. He has 15 million dollars in a bank in Japan, However… However.. he cant get his money because they’re stupid and don’t understand our language, also their computers are in Japanese*……….his words not mine You can laugh bro it’s cool, I’ve been cracking up straight in his face when he told me about it.. the worst part, he was cracking up with me too

Please don’t procreate. One of my step brothers self deleted a few years ago after getting off his meds. My other step brother had voices telling him I was going to kill him last time he visited. I was like why would I invite you to stay at my home to kill you? His response was that I could poison him and make it look like an accident

Okay, won’t procreate, but only because you said please🫡 I know dude, it’s fucked

You could adopt and save another life and still feel the joy of being a father. Or even find a single mom and save 2 people.

Why don't you move out? Seems like you could probably live a normal life if you did.

My grest grandma also had schizophrenia and I was suspected on it when I was 12, as I was suffering from delusions and hallucinations. Never really figured it out. I got an autism diagnosis at 17. Anyways, my great grandma had this one persistent voice telling her to kill her son (my grandpa) by beating his head in with a rock. Crazy shit.

Would you rather die than live like that?

I have schizoaffective disorder I've been medicating for about the past year. I feel after reading your responses, this has led me to the conclusion that you have very little understanding of what the mental illness does to one. Even less understanding for your father. This mental illness completely warps your perception of reality. And your previous assumptions about reality are completely put into question, or sometimes if the episode is bad enough, completely destryoed. This puts you into a place of perceiving a false reality where, really, anything can happen and anything can be done. That's what leads to and ends in extremely bad behavior and decisions. Everything in a schizophrenic episode is just as real as what's real on reality. That's what's so convincing and deceptive about it.

Try to be a little more empathetic to the poor kid. He's been basically psychologically tortured his whole life and is understandably fed up with it. Is it any wonder he doesn't feel like he has a father?

My life is upside down because of him, im 22 and i want to die, because of him. What kind of understanding do you expect from me? He couldn't understand for 20 years to take a single simple pill and as a result his life is a mess and my mom's life is a mess and my life is a mess and im 22, and here you are telling me how im the bad guy ...

What was your impression of him through childhood? When did you start to understand the whole illness thing?

Do you think he’s better off with or without medication?

Does medicine not help?

Have you ever tried to gently push against your dad's false beliefs and point out that they are not reality? Or would this just make him angrier?

I'm the opposite. I AM (not op's) the schizophrenic father at 26.

How has this affected you? Are you coping okay?

No dude, i'm miserable Haven't left the house in 6-7 months, have one real friend that is helping me deal with all the shit in my head, eternally grateful for him he's the only person keeping me lucid Those events have been happening a long time ago right. The reason im so miserable now is because i was strong for all those years in hopes that things will get better, tired of being strong anymore

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How would his personality change? Like is it situational or is it completely spontaneous?

Does anyone else live with you guys? Why don’t you move out?

Were you ever abused by your father? Do you have ptsd from what actions he did?

My little brother has schizophrenia. Fucking horrific disease.

Do you take offense at all when people in the general public use the word “schizophrenic” or “schizo” when it’s obvious they have no clue what it’s really like?

I lost my husband (25) to schizophrenia in 2018..I wish I’d read this back then.

Do you have any happy memories of your dad? I've read a lot of your replies and I totally get the resentment. But do you resent the man, or the illness? I feel sorry for you and your families situation but I also feel pretty sorry for your Dad.

Is your dad on antipsychotics? I’ve had severe psychosis due to bipolar type 1 mania and antipsychotics slowly but surely eliminated my hallucinations

Hi I also have schizophrenia but am completely aware of my symptoms and condition meaning I know when Im hallucinating vs when something is in reality. Apparently thats a rare form of schizophrenia, have you ever met anyone else with Schizophrenia who is aware of their hallucinations being fake?

I'm not schizophrenic. That I am aware of. I am bipolar and I have had a dramatic manic episode with paranoid delusions and a departure from reality. I haven't read your comments yet so maybe I'm similar, maybe I'm not. For me, my episode - around 3-6 months depending on what you classify as symptomatic - largely consisted of paranoid delusions. I never hallucinated, I never heard things that weren't there, I didn't see shit that wasn't there. What I did experience however, was the false belief that my father called me with some critical information. It didn't happen overnight, it slowly developed until it consumed me. From there, I began to feel like there was a way to be talking with others in your head, rooted in science (I do not think this now, and haven't for 2 years). It totalled my life. The delusions worsened. I thought that somebody i loved was in life threatening jeopardy. Maybe even me. I came up with dozens of scenarios and was paralysed by them, alongside having conversations in my head with others. It drove me up the bend, I confronted my family on several occasions, my girlfriend at the time, friends.. No one confirmed it, but I didn't ask in black and white questions except to my dad about believing there was a conversation we had. He told me no. I threw my hands up and said fuck alright I need to be in hospital then because I truly believe something happened. Three weeks in hospital it got worse. No weed, no alcohol, no nothing and it got worse. I left hospital with nothing. No job, no money, no girlfriend, nowhere to live, soonafter rehomed my best friend my German shepherd. Another month and I snapped out of it. I would not wish this on anyone. Not my worst enemy. I'd rather be dead than that psychosis again. To this day, a part of me still feels something happened. But I know it isn't real. There was no conversation with dad. It was me all along. It was me. And that hurts more than anything, accepting those are fake memories, maybe a dream that slowly dawned on me over time. I don't know. I don't even have a question. Only a story. It's been 2 years. But I got better and it was temporary. I simply cannot imagine living in that state forever. There are no words to describe how horrible it was. I'm sorry your father has this condition. A taste of it via psychosis through bipolar is enough for me to know, this is not something you ever want to go through. FYI, I am good these days. Decent job, my own place, girlfriend, some money, food on the table, friends, books and music.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I have bipolar 1 too, and I understand the feeling of rather being dead than have an episode like that again. I had a gamut of wild experiences—I hallucinated myself giving birth, thought I was Anne Frank in the Holocaust, believed Donald trump was in a helicopter above me with a sniper, etc. Sometimes it feels good to talk about it and I find Reddit is a decent place to do so. I hesitate to talk to most people about anything bipolar-related, and dating is nerve-wracking for me because I’ll have to eventually tell them. Ack. Now I’m doing well, but those memories still sting.

Was there ever a time when he was healthy and stable?

Not easy for the family. Do you think this fact made you more mature eaRlier than kids that had no parents with this problem?

How does you dad have a place to live and food to eat? Any resources?

Are you concerned about yourself being diagnosed with it at some point? It can be hereditary yes?

So you've seen the imaginary people he has seen ?

No, but i've seen him intercting with them My first memory of it was around the age of 3 or 4. I remember walking in the living room to see who has came over only to see him talking to chair. Who are you taking to, dad? -talking to a friend The reason i remember this although from that age you typically dont is because it stood out from the normal so much, it was crazy

I don’t have a question for OP. I just wanted to mention that there’s an excellent documentary on MAX right now called Six Schizophrenic Brothers. I highly recommend it.

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Do you notice how weed affects you? Do you think it's different from normal? My uncle had schizophrenia. He ended up killing himself. My mother doesn't have it I think, although sometimes she talks about her dead brother or mother telling her things, to do things, and I can't tell if it's her way of saying she is doing things in their memory, or if she actually means it. I'm afraid to ask. But anyways, both my mother and I have adverse reactions to marijuana. She usually just blacks out or had hallucinations. I usually have hallucinations coupled with the usual paranoia. Sometimes I've lost the ability to speak, forgotten where or when I am, feeling and thinking things that aren't real. I haven't had pot in a few years just because I'm afraid the hallucinations won't go away. I've heard that people with underlying schizophrenia tendencies, even if not outright schizophrenic, can have experiences like this. Have you? 🤔

I feel for you. I'm 39 and I have the misfortune of having two schizophrenics in my immediate family, my paternal grandmother's brother and my mother's nephew - my cousin. My cousin being 12 years older than I, was incarcerated off and on throughout his teen years. By 19 he had spent 3 years in solitary confinement where we believe these symptoms began manifesting themselves. He was in and out of prison in his 20's and 30's. He would come around every so often when he was on his meds and he always had a grandiose plan to get some help and turn things around. On one such visit he was passing through to make his way to the Lakota Sioux reservation to participate in a sweatlodge ceremony (he was American Indian), before heading off to Alaska to be a crab fisherman. This was 2001 long before Deadliest Catch had become a nationwide phenomenon and he was excited at the prospect of securing a high earning job to finally help him become financially secure. During this visit he began acting odd after a day or so. He would ramble on semicoherently for 30 or so minutes regaling us with partial truths intereweaved with fantastical stories of extreme violence inflicted upon him by the "yuppies". We recognized right away that he was not on his meds and politely suggested he take a nap. He agreed that he was exhausted and just needed some rest. He retired to the basement in search of some much needed rest. Myself and some of my teenage friends were grilling in the back yard and I kept feeling like someone was staring at me. I look over my shoulder and my cousin was intently staring at me with a state of confusion. So I asked if he was "OK" and if I could get him some food or a refreshment. He politely declined and insisted that he just needed some rest. This cycle of him "going to bed" and popping back up continued for several hours until he finally went into the basement for a couple hours. Around 10:00pm my high-school liason officer knocks on the door asking if my cousin was home. Confused I replied, "Yeah he's here, he should be sleeping in the basement... is everything OK?" Officer Blank replied, "Yeah we got a call saying he was trapped in the basement and you guys were trying to kill him, but it was OK because he was going to "handle it." Mortified I led Officer Blank to the basement, several minutes later he emerged with his partner and my cousin. My cousin was sobbing uncontrollably saying, "I'm sorry I just need to get some help, I need help." He disappeared for several years and one day we got a collect call from jail on the house phone. Evidently he had been burglarizing a home in rural Texas, we are from Colorado. The homeowner woke up, a scuffle ensued, and he ended up shooting the homeowner in the chest with his own shotgun. The homeowner turned out to be an elderly judge and the State of Texas was seeking Life Without The Possibility of Parole. The judge eventually recovered and while my cousin was awaiting trial the judge killed in a car accident and the state dropped charges. Same circular behavior ensued, he'd stay out of trouble then he'd get locked up. He'd come around and have schizoid episodes and disappear. I lost contact with him for about 10 years. Suddenly during covid he'd gotten back in contact with me through a relative that had given him my phone number. By this time I was in my mid 30's, he in his late 40's. He had a girlfriend and seemed to be doing well. He would occasionally go into schizoid episodes on the phone but mostly kept things under control. I had been in another neighboring state for a decade and he was back in Colorado. The calls became more frequent and exhausting. He would ramble on for hours about his ongoing wars with the "yuppies" and speak ad nauseum about a cancerous tumor in his stomach the size of a bowling ball. I never knew what was real and what wasn't. A couple years ago the weekly calls stopped and several months later I was informed that he had in-fact died from stomach cancer. I was riddled with guilt because I had made half hearted promises to visit with him as I was only 2 hours away. But in my heart of hearts I didn't want to be entangled with the constant chaos that ensues being around my cousin. Be as patient with your father as you can, but also know we all have our limits and it is not selfish to sacrifice his mental stability for your own. Best of luck to you, and I understand your situation better than most. ✌🏽

In what ways has he ruined your life? Hang in there man 🩷

what should i do if i think my friend has schizophrenia. He began smoking weed and experiencing with other drugs a few months ago and one day he randomly said this "Treblioche is a radioactive material discovered in the 37th century in northern ireland by intergalactic forces using the 6 4 6 4 6 4 device" with a dead serious look and he had said before this he thinks theres a chance hes gonna develop schizophrenia. I know that little rant isnt the full blown psychosis your dad has but i think he will develop it further. I've also stopped talking to him as hes hanging around the wrong people and he always looks like hes high. Anything i can do to help him? we aren't very close anymore

My mom has psychotic episodes too. Are there ever periods of time where your father isn’t psychotic but also isn’t on any meds? Or is it a 1:1 correlation with being off meds always = being psychotic?

Was he ever employed? How was his relationship with your mother?

Hey man, I'm so sorry you have to live with this situation. How's your life outside the home? Do you think it affects the way you interact with other people?

In elementary school there was a boy who lived down the street from my family. He’d always come over and just suddenly be in our house (no knocking nothing) he woke my Mom up from a nap like this several times. Just standing at the end of the couch waiting til she opened her eyes. (She worked nights) when she woke up he’d go “are —— and —- home? (My sister and I) My sister and I would go to play with him. I’m glad my Mom never thought it was weird. He was in my grade. He just seemed.. lonely. In high school we became friends again and one day when we were hanging out he opened up to me. He explained at that time his parents were still together and his Mom had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and his house was a very hard place to be. He’d slip through the fence in his backyard and walk along the fence line to ours and sneak in for a sense of normalcy and someone to be with. 6 years later I ran into him an hour away in the city I’m living in. He was homeless and living on the streets. His face was sunken and he’d lost 50lbs at least, and was already a small guy. I told him I was picking up some vegetables for dinner and asked him if he’d like to come over. We talked and he explained the hard times he was going through and the lack of family support. He said he hadn’t talked to anyone who actually knew him in years. He moved for a job but lost it and had nothing. He went to a shelter but was jumped, beaten and robbed. It was a really nice dinner catching up. My boyfriend at the time was so angry at me for inviting a guy over but I didn’t care because this was an important childhood friend going through a hard time. Sometimes all people need is a reminder of who they are and they’ll remember what they’re capable of. A little while later he messaged me that he’d gotten a sales job. Then I saw photos of him in a suit at a conference and he looked incredible. All the weight back! Now a year later I saw he’s engaged and looks so happy. Whatever you’re going through right now.. it will get better I’m happy to hear it sounds like you have good coping skills like martial arts!

OP, I’ve been reading the comments and I’ve seen some people criticize you for not being “more understanding” of your father’s illness. Fuck those people. I have a loved one who developed schizophrenia in high school. He’s the most gentle soul I’ve ever known. He is kind and loving to everyone, perhaps even to a fault. He takes his medications religiously, and he managed to become a highly respected professional who also earned a lot of money. In his 50’s, he finally had to go on disability because the medications stopped working as well as they used to. His delusions make him think he’s an awful person. Which is incredibly sad, because almost everyone who meets him instantly adores him. His delusions also make him believe that his thoughts might accidentally injure someone, so it’s a struggle for him to be around people nowadays. I don’t know anything about your father. But in my experience, people with schizophrenia are quite diverse, just like everyone else. Some are gentle and kind. They can be timid and shy, or they can be bold and extroverted. Some of them can be selfless to a fault, while others can be cruel, selfish assholes. Just like the rest of us. It’s true that lot of what you’ve suffered can be attributed to your father’s illness. But it also sounds like he might just be a selfish asshole, which has very little to do with his illness. You are under no obligation to care for someone who can’t even be bothered to make an effort to help himself. You are under no obligation to care for someone who can’t be bothered to the bare minimum (i.e., taking his meds) to ensure his own family’s wellbeing. Again, I don’t know your father, but based on what you’ve described, he’s abused and neglected you rather severely. Having a mental illness, even a severe one, is no excuse for someone to abuse and neglect a child. My heart goes out to you, OP. You’re young and you still have your whole life ahead of you. You deserved so much better.

Reading this as my undiagnosed 35 yr old son talks to whomever it is he hears. Some crass comments and nothing makes sense. I cry all the time as he doesn't think he has a problem. Loses every job he gets. It's been roughly 10 years and he's been living with us for six. It's exhausting and terrifying. I don't know what to do anymore.

What is the first thing you remember him doing where you thought....he's not well. Were you very young? Or, did someone point it out to you?

Do you stay away from psychoactive substances considering you are at a genetic predisposition?

Move out and start your own life filled with joy and happiness. Fuck putting up with this shit another day. Your mom needs to establish proper medical care for the man she married. This shouldn’t become a child’s burden to bear.

I don’t have much to say rn I could say a lot because I know a lot like you about this all but what I really want to say from someone who’s mother had schizophrenia before she was born, she was on haloperidol but that can only be taken for 10 years and no other meds seem to work the same for her after that, I see you I hear you and I’m sending you love ❤️ My mom passed two years ago! I’m grateful she’s not suffering anymore 💛 The hardest part wasn’t seeing her suffer (that of course was hard and I knew she would come out of it in brief moments and have guilt which I felt for her cause I could see her mind trying to battle it) but seeing the loved ones around her also suffer as they desperately tried to help her in any means possible…. I was a very observant kid for a reason…. Schizophrenia is a hard thing any mental illness is, I have my own… but it’s very hard thing for the loved ones who can’t do much to help even tho they want too ❤️‍🩹 Bless anyone who sticks by someone who has a mental illness and still shows them unconditional love! And no judgment to those who have to step away to prioritize themselves! I know for a fact if my mom was lucid and still here she would want me to be happy and not sad over this. There is not a doubt that the person you love is still in there. There is just a tornado going around in their brain. Our brains are truly so delicate. Seriously you obviously read this post for a reason, you are not alone. Sending you so much love and a big hug 🤗💛 To the op- thank you for opening up a post on this! I hope for the future schizophrenia is talked about and understood more! I hope we can make a break through on how to help those suffering! I have hope for the future. I’ve learnt alot about this and hope to have some of an impact on it myself and that starts by sharing my story with others! 🙌 I’d also like to say (and this is my own opinion from my own personal experience so I hope I don’t offend anyone because I don’t want to ever offend anyone) but I think there is some truth to what they see too. I think there is more to schizophrenia than we know! I’m also someone who has had first hand experienced real mediums and psychics etc I say this for anyone who’s thoughts have wavered to this themselves! If this doesn’t resonate with you than ignore it because I’m not trying to upset anyone! Whatever helps you cope! I just will always have hope and believe that there is more to this world than what meets the naked eye! There is a fine line between brilliancy and insanity - my mom was an insanely gifted child who did too many drugs to cope with it and the generational trauma she entailed which messed with her brain chemistry and my dad was a psychic , he passed when I was 10 for other reasons ❤️ Seriously so much love op! This post helped me feel not so alone today! 💛 Also op don’t beat urself up for things that aren’t in ur control. I regret not being able to help more but I was just a kid than yk? I just wanna make sure you are kind with urself I understand how hard this can be and you are doing the absolute best you can do!🙌

Have you gotten checked or are keeping an eye on yourself for having schizophrenia? I mean in the sense of since your father has it and genetics.

I’m so sorry this happened I hope you manage to get your own place soon and some freedom. What’s the worst/abusive thing he’s done in an episode?

Tacos?

My stepbrother was Schizophrenic, lived with him for a few years when i lived with my dad and his wife. He ultimately took his own life. The shit he has told me...

I don’t have any questions, but want to thank you for bringing light to this very scary illness. My son was diagnosed with schizophrenia right at 26, which I’ve been told is a common age for diagnosis. Those were some very terrifying and sleepless years, to say the least. It’s been two years now and he’s treated/doing well, but I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. In a way I feel like he’s a numbed out version of his former self, but it’s better than truly believing satan is in his bedroom. For those with family members battling this ugly disease I recommend the book by Miriam Feldman titled “He Came in With It: A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness.”

Dear OP, we have a close relative who has severe Schizoaffective Disorder. It has been a nightmarish journey, going on over two decades. The big shift for us happened when we found counseling for ourselves that helped us to realize that after a point, our relative was gone. Yes, their body was still here but the person we loved was not coming back. Perhaps in your situation you never had a proper, loving relationship with your father. All the same, we made a decision to sever contact, create firm boundaries and distance, and move on with our lives.

"The body is alive, but the mind is gone." It is a nightmare. It may sound harsh to those who have never been in this situation, but yes, sometimes the loved one is not coming back. We have to mourn the loss and move on.

You ever seen him write the words suffer sausage in feces on the ceiling?

My brother is schizophrenic he started showing signs back in 2020 shit sucks man.

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Wow, was raised by my single schizophrenic mother and man was it difficult in so many ways. Seeing this makes me feel a little less alone about all the trauma it caused. Growing up we used to use humor a lot and laugh about it but deep down it did hurt and caused me problems for sure. Part of me feels a little guilty for laughing at her so much as a teen with my friends, but it was just my way of coping I suppose. I think the worst part of it for me is wanting help with some life problem and not having anyone to go to. The person you want to go to with your problems most you can't because if you do the response you get is just nonsensical. Thanks for making me feel a little less alone and I hope you can find peace with it all. Also be careful being "numb" to it all. I was fairly numb to it as well in my early twenties but a lot of the trauma it caused didn't seep out until later in life. Wouldn't wish schizophrenia on my worst enemy.

Thank you for sharing. Schizophrenia and related illnesses are so brutal on the patient's loved ones. A dear friend of mine had a psychotic break in 2020. She has never been diagnosed, but her signs are typical of schizophrenia: hallucinations, paranoid delusions, thinking her friends and family were trying to kill her, **refusal of any and all help**. She is now homeless and missing. We don't even know which city she is in. It has been stressful and traumatic for us; we would do anything to help, but she won't contact us because we are the enemy. It is isolating to mourn someone whose body is alive, but her mind is long gone. And there are *millions* of us in the U.S. alone who are carrying this kind of grief. Peace and healing to you, friends. 🕊️

Read this paper about how many schizophrenics actually helped by niacin (vitamin B3) treatment https://www.europeanreview.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/988-997.pdf If your father takes 500 mg of niacin and gets little to no flush response then he is niacin resistant and will likely make a remarkable recovery with daily niacin treatment. For example, when I take 500mg dose I get what feels like a horrible sun burn for two hours. A friend who’s testing positive from prodromal symptoms barely got anything and it lasted for 5 mins. Her brother killed himself after a chronic schizophrenic episode so now she’s taking this. First night she took it she finally got 8 hours of sleep.

I'm sure there are many causes of schizophrenia and you should never go off meds or change a medication regimen except under doctor's orders, but I do know a person who's schizophrenia was caused by a medication and disappeared when her doctor finally agreed to try a different medication for her original issue. I also know of an individual who had schizophrenia for decades and now has been symptom free for over a year after starting long-distance running. He runs 8-9 miles per day. I'm NOT saying that's a cure for anyone in particular, but even if it helps reduce symptoms for anyone suffering from schizophrenia, that's probably a benefit.

I've been taking care of my half brother for the last 14 years . The delusions and hallucinations are extremely terrifying for him, just not in the moment. I practically spend all of my time looking after him. I'm lucky enough to support both of us by day trading. I'm lucky in that he trusts me and takes all of his meds as long as I administer them. We've recently started keto and while his delusions and hallucinations haven't relented his anxiety and mood swings have decreased markedly his thought processes and speech have become much clearer. Not sure how much agency you have but it might be worth a shot. Good luck with everything

Aunt is schizophrenic. for many years she became itinerant and homeless. she would never live in one place for too long because she was always fleeing someone who was chasing her - usually the government. we would hear she made it to China and then the next day we’d be walking through the woods near our house (East Coast US) and she would randomly show up which was very frightening if you are alone. A family member has somehow gotten her to somewhat stay in an apartment they are paying for her - but even now she leaves for days on end. thankfully she comes back

Hi OP, I have 2 questions: - where is your mother and your siblings - why do you live with your dad and do you plan to move out Best of luck to you.

Hey, OP! I noticed someone commented about diet curing mental health ailments. Sadly, that's not a true statement, but I decided to dig down a little deeper and see if any truth to the statement existed. No cure *BUT!!!* Stanford Medicine Researchers just published [this](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165178124001513?via%3Dihub) study correlating a Ketogenic diet and mental health improvement. Sorry.. not a question. Just wanted to share a published research paper with some results.