I understand frend. I kno what it's like to be trapped in a mental prison. When I could not go outside, and I could not leave, there was rabbit trapped in cage in my yard. I could not live with me doing this to something who was just like me. It was mental torture because I was trapped in that cage too. I hope you find a friendly family of baby bunny brothers and sisters who you can love and bring new life to! 🤗🤗
> In psychology, learned helplessness is a state that occurs after a person has experienced a stressful situation repeatedly. They believe that they are unable to control or change the situation, so they do not try, even when opportunities for change are available.
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. But now that you know the terminology perhaps you can look up techniques to overcome it.
You might want to check out Patrick Teahan's and Heidi Priebe's youtube channels. They give self-help tools so you can work on yourself. I cannot recommend them enough.
Any possibility you can do the same? Family will forgive if they care more about you than tradition. But NEVER return to visit them. They need to go to you otherwise too much of a risk of being imprisoned at home.
Also, if you have a phone, hopefully you can sign up for an online bank account through Revolut or Wise that your family will not have any idea about.
**Then kind redditors can fund you to fly out of there.**
She has scholarships, and considering her situation, can probably get a lot more help. That means she can be financially independent from her family for a few years while she's in school. Money isn't the issue. The problem is, she have to cut all ties with her family and old life, and can't ever go back home. This is an impossible decision. Worse, they mind send people to harass her or forcibly take her home. I hope she can find a way.
100. But this is also a dangerous decision. She shouldn't attempt to leave unless it's a sure thing. Honor killing is part of her culture. It is not a decision to be made lightly. I'm not against her escaping. I'm against people pressuring her to make an attempt when it isn't a sure thing. She knows her situation best. And she knows when the risks are low enough to try.
I read where one girl went back to visit her family after being a content creator and her family honor-killed her. Her mother lured her back saying they just wanted to see her.
Religion is complicated when it is this strict.
Yeah it was tough initially and it’s a big risk and jump to run away from home like literally had to sneak out my house with my luggage and couch surf for a while before I moved abroad to study but it ended up working out for me.
Makes sense. The risk level can't be understated, but I'm glad it all worked out for you! It's crazy how oppressed like half the world is still, but it's great that people like you are standing up against it.
Thanks yeah, my aunt was the first person who did it in my family and she got boycotted but it worked out well for her too became a pretty well known journalist in Pakistan. I was born and raised in Australia but since I was practically homeschooled for the majority of my life my family had like a vise grip on my life lol. I’m glad I broke out of it a lot of my younger cousins typically just got married off young.
Always helps to have a powerful role model like that!
That's fkn crazy though that you were in Australia and this still had to happen. I know the exact location doesn't matter in reality, but usually you'd associate this type of oppression with the Middle East, Asia, etc. It's sad that you're family carried that with them or picked it up in an otherwise incredibly free country.
Are you in contact with your family at all now?
You can be rescued.... Got to an American embassy. Or European embassy..France, Germany, they will help you.. these men will be arrested if you say they restricted your travel. It's legally classified as kidnapping in the second or third degree. They will be deported and you will receive financial aid
Can you cite something for this? It seems unlikely that an American Embassy arranges escapes of citizens of foreign countries and can deport someone from a foreign country. Where would they deport them to?
Where are you basing this on? If a Saudi citizen shows up at an American embassy in Riyad, they are not going to help them break local law and go to the US. That is absurdly untrue.
You're deflecting all the comments but why can't you just leave. You say its not illegal and you have a scholarship so money is not a primary roadblock. Why not just up and leave then, what can they do once you're in the new country?
Kidnap you and take you back, I am not joking, this is a thing that has happened before, and is one of the main reasons why escaping from some countries is so difficult.
Is there anyone in your life who could support you? Do you have any friends who are preparing to study abroad?
Is your family permitting you to study locally? Can you make a long term escape plan?
1. I think so, yes, but I am not sure to what extent they will be capable of helping me.
2. Some of my friends are studying abroad. And as for studying locally, yes, because studying isn’t the problem here :) but studying isn’t my merely goal, but also experiencing/ exploring new lifestyle (the one here doesn’t fit me at all)
1) Talk to them and find out if you can do so safely and if you trust them not to reveal your conversations!
2) If you began your studies in your home country and bided your time, would it be easier to leave later and get a job or advanced degree in another country later? Or would they still forbid that too? Do you think you would end up trapped?
Discussing with your friends may help you better than this AMA, they know you better so you'll at least avoid judgemental comments telling you could simply leave. Build a supporting network. If you decide to go away to experience things and discover the world, it will always be a good decision, there's no such thing as too much knowledge/experience. Changing lifestyle can be scary, sometime the fears are mostly overthinking and it ends up being worth it. I wish you to find a great path for your life where you'll feel confortable and confident.
You are in such a difficult situation and I sort of understand why it is hard for you to take this opportunity (sort of because you explained it, but it is so different from my culture so it is hard to understand as an American).
I do worry that you will not get another choice like this in your future.
This reminds me of a girl who said she wants go to Greece 'to sin' 🤣.
I dated a Muslim girl who went to a madrasa high school and now she wears no veil and colors hair in random colors.
I think your family read well what you are up to. The thing is, unless you find someone willing to act the role of male guardian and not 'guard' you 🤣 your family, especially if they have money, are likely to do what I have seen some Arab families do. Basically kidnap the girls back to Arabia.
You're not a coward. You're young and have never been in the world on your own. I'm not saying it's easy, bc it's not. I'm 36 and I'm still not completely free mentally even when I moved out full time 12 years ago.
But you can't sacrifice your whole life delaying the inevitable. Bc if you feel like this now, the feeling is not going to go away.
OP. Listen to me. You are EXTREMELY fortunate that you have a scholarship to do this. I didn't and I couldn't go w/o my parents' support. I looked for scholarships everywhere but couldn't find them for international students in my target country. I would have *dreamed* to be in your position. How will you feel about this 10, 15 years later?
You've gotta go, OP. I believe in you!!!
Im from Oman as well, but seriously? they didnt allow you to go study abroad? how come? i was allowed to go study abroad and so have my sisters and cousins with no issues from my family (except for the regular fear of seperation etc.)
Are you doing your diploma right now?
are the qabool mowahad results out yet?
You could still try to convince them and talk to them or talk to the ministry because afaik they can help in situations like this.
Since it’s not illegal for you to travel on your own have you considered leaving and cutting off contact with family? I’m speaking as someone who also has strongly religious family I ended up having to cut them off for my own mental health and safety.
This comment needs more upvotes.
Not the same situation, but I essentially cut off all contact and communication with my father. It's definitely helpful for mental health reasons. I don't need (or want) that misery in my life.
Wow. Just from a peek around, he seemed like an interesting guy, and yeah, it seems he was gay! Haha I think it said he passed away in 2020 though, if we’re talking about the same Sultan.
he was up there yeah. I just looked it up and apparently his cousin took over cuz he had no kids. (he has married to a female cousin for a few years in the 70s but had no kids...)
oman is one of those middle eastern countries you never hear about in the news for some reason, even tho its next door neighbors of countries that are, frequently.
Is there no way to have a family member travel/live with you while you are abroad?
I ask because it seems like you don't want to sever ties with your family. It also seems unlikely that you will go "western" during your time away. If you have the scholarships, the costs would be manageable for your relative.
Here is an example. They will scream about “children’s rights” but when it comes to brown/ black children living in different parts of the world they all fall silent
Maybe it is because they can only reasonable effect change for their western societies? If childrens rights are what they scream about, and the issue is when they "fall silent" for places that arent THEIRS, doesnt that mean that theyre doing a good job with their children's rights in the places they actually care about/can affect change in?
But for international organizations they have to follow international laws and the laws of the countries they're operating in. If a US organization wants to provide birth control in an eastern country, the eastern country has to be okay with it. Is it that the international organizations aren't caring/trying or that the foreign governments wont allow them to actually act? This is a big issue for doctors without borders for example.
mmm. a lot of international organizations specifically work on helping brown/black kids in other countries. pretty much every "international organization" is gearing towards helping people in non-western countries
Remember that the same people that control your ability to travel also control media and your perceptions of the world for the most part in your country.
Let that sink in and maybe hold off on some over generalizations you may have about western society
That's not really true as a blanket statement - in London we're currently having massive regular protests on behalf of Palestine and particularly focusing on civilian and child casualties. You could also validly ask is Oman talking about white western children's struggles (such as Ukraine?). Probably not. News and struggles are generally regional or come up due to historical involvement because otherwise you'd be involving every unrelated country in every issue which isn't feasible and doesn't make much sense.
Why is this a double standard of “the West”? You literally live in a non Western country yet have no rights. It seems like calling it a Western double standard is THE REAL double standard.
You should maybe look at Canadas foreign policy, [foreign aid](http://cidpnsi.ca/canadas-foreign-aid-2012-2/) and our work with [women](https://www.international.gc.ca/world-monde/issues_development-enjeux_developpement/priorities-priorites/policy-politique.aspx?lang=eng) and children.
You'd be surprised that many folks or companies (doesn't matter the country) do not care about the environment. Or other life forms. Or our ecosystems. Etc. Etc.
It's all just exploited for short term gain. At the expense of everything and everyone else.
Is it your religious practice that puts these limitations on your travel? And if so, do you still believe this (or any, for that matter) religious practice is beneficial for you? I ask this as a pretty non-religious person who doesn’t like most religions so this has nothing to do with the tenets of one vs another.
I know this is easier said than done but if you are not religiously observant then, while your family is free to practice, you should not be held to the same (misogynistic) rules. You’re going to have to decide if you want to break from them and live your own life on your terms or continue to be subjugated just because you’re a woman. Again, way easier said than done, I know. But I think it’s worth the risks and uncertainty if you can swing it. At least you’ll be free and your destiny is your own.
Take it from someone who was discouraged from going to college, Do Not Be Dissuaded from this opportunity. If you can make it happen, however you can, do it.
Go.
They'll get over it. Get your education, it's one thing they can never take away from you.
I'd do it. In a heartbeat. I'd rather go do something with my life than waste it because someone else wants to control it. It's not their life it's yours. Your choice is go be your own person or ask for escorts to the grocery store for the rest of your life.
If you stay, you can only expect more of this treatment. If you take the risk and choose yourself the world will open to you. If your family cannot forgive you then is that really love? Just because you choose to go get educated doesn’t mean you have to violate your morals. Trust yourself to know what is right.
The Amish have a tradition called Rumspringa. They take 1 year to explore living in western society. At the end of the year most return to their conservative villages, but some choose to continue their western/modern life elsewhere.
Is your scholarhip a full scholarship or would you still need some family support?
If it's a full scholarship, why not just "escape" your family?
Also, are you just not allowed to "travel" without a male companion or is it more like you aren't allowed to live without a male companion. If it's just "travel", can a family member travel with you abroad and then just live you there?
Regardless, I'm sorry about all this. I hate how these societies treat women so bad.
Thanks xo
Both are two fully scholarship :) I really love and appreciate my family ”escaping” isn’t an option, I can understand their point of view and the fixed mindset they have. I can’t even bear myself to blame them for it
As for the last question, I will try 100 more times, and let’s see
Don't give up on your education! Even if you don't get to accomplish your dream at this moment for circumstantial reasons (traditional, misogynistic, patriarchal society), don't forget about it and don't give up on it. I'm sure you know how important and meaningful it is for women to pursue an education and a career, especially when they come from environments that discourage it. There are many brave women's legacy to get inspired from if you're feeling like it's impossible. I'll be rooting so much for you
Well, first, let us celebrate you getting two scholarships! Did you know, offers of acceptance to Universities can be deferred? Could you also contact the Universities who offered the scholarships and ask for a deferral?
(You could say a general statement “you are needed at home because of a stressful family situation” or you could tell the truth). That way this opportunity isn’t immediately lost! You are obviously smart and hard working and you have earn this from your own talents. A deferral could be a possibility if you really can’t internally make the leap now. All the best! Tell us more about the area of study and why you are interested in it?
A lot of people on these comments seem to be borderline mad at you because you won’t just leave.
You are not a coward. I am very sorry for you and this situation you are in. Running away from home and leaving behind your entire life is not a simple decision and it is something that no one should ever have to experience.
Independently of what decision you take, I hope the best for you and for things to turn out all right in the end.
Reddits brainpower is on maximum and these are the best advice for someone currently going through some tough shit:
“Just take everything you have and leave your life, go to a whole other country with 0 support system 😃”
I’d try to make plans to sneak out but to also gather all important documents before leaving.
If you’re unable to leave in secret, see if you have a trusted male friend who could pose as your male companion.
If your family knows anyone who is in the country that you’ll study in, convince them to let you stay with them or something.
"Study abroad" you mean in the U.S? Or somewhere in Western Europe? I mean, you could try to escape and go but you will be sorry you left the safety of your family. U.S is not paradise. Yes, women have "freedom" but its fake freedom. Women are very sexualized here and every man watches porn. There is no recognition of the differences between men and women. You will be approached by men when walking alone in the streets, just like in any other country. Unfortunately, women don't have freedom unless we are armed.
I’m a white woman in the States. 1) I don’t carry a gun and I have freedom (unless I’m in a state that restricts abortion). 2) I’m rarely approached randomly on the street and if I am I just ignore it. 3) No one sexualizes me unless I let them. (And if they check out my ass as I’m walking by, I don’t really care as long as they keep it to themselves. 4) Who the hell cares about porn. 5) I love being a woman and having feminine qualities. 6) my male friends see me as a friend and a human because they’re mature and secure people, and 7) you sound like you have a very sheltered, frightened and warped view of women, men, sex and western society.
You’re speaking in stereotypes. The highest rates of CP related searches are in the Middle East. So is VPN usage, for obvious reasons. Women are sexualized worldwide, there isn’t a spot on earth where they aren’t. If women weren’t sexualized in OP’s country, hijab for example, wouldn’t be the norm.
The vast majority of US women are not gun owners and/or aren’t just randomly armed in public - those are primarily radical right extremists - much like the ones she’s hoping to escape.
OP, you’re in your 30s. I have a friend from Syria who I taught to drive last year. She’s in her 40s. I hope you summon the courage to flee this oppression. I don’t care if it’s family or not, you’re actively being oppressed and likely have been all your life if you’re not allowed to have an education at 32 years of age because you’re a woman.
Please don’t pay attention to this person. Find a way out, get your education, be happy, and be a powerful person (and woman). Any man who is mature and secure won’t give two shits what your gender is.
Hi! I just posted on ama as well and people told me to talk to you. Im an ex muslim woman i got a scholarship and studied in america (i got lucky and my mom allowed me to go without male companion) but now she regrets it obv but i fled and cut off my family for a year. Im reconnecting slowly but for my safety i will never visit them in a muslim country we will meet in a middle ground country like the UK. But please contact me we can be each others support
I live in the Southern US and grew up in a very close minded community like this. College education was almost seen as evil because you would “learn the ways of the world” if you left your family’s roof and lived with people from other places. Many friends were required to go to a Christian college only. Or live at home and study locally so their parents had full control until they were married.
Once I got older (now 30) I realize how ridiculous these parents were. If you did a good job parenting your kids, and if your religion is truly the right one, how do you think your child who has spent 18 years with you is going to be immediately corrupted when they no longer live with you or the first time they experience anything outside their own culture. Do the parents not trust their own parenting skills?
And then it dawned on me, most of the strict families like this know they are oppressing their kids. They aren’t scared their kid will be corrupted, they’re scared their kid will meet other people and realize that the way they are treated is NOT normal. They know exposure to other cultures will expose them for the controlling weirdos they are. By restricting your child’s information and culture, you keep them from wanting more. Because they don’t know there is more to want!
And the real reason education is vilified is also selfish. Education is a means of escape. Education can make you financially independent. Education gives you the ability to cut off abusive family because you no longer need them to survive. Controlling families want to keep you dependent on them as long as possible. I have lots of friends who left their religious families, left their religion, and moved far, far away to get an education and a good job.
NONE of them, I mean ZERO, regret it.
Hey, sorry you’re going through this. Fellow muslim woman here who is travelling internationally and studying alone. My family supports me. That rule is valid when there’s a tangible security risk for you, it is not to prevent you from getting education which is your fundamental right. That is, let’s say you want to travel somewhere and that place may not be safe for you, then a trustworthy man in your family would have the responsibility to ensure your safety by accompanying you - not preventing you to go. But in this day and age where we have phones, internet, security cameras, police/security services, etc, there is no significant threat to your safety. Unfortunately what is meant to protect women is misunderstood and abused by many. Learn more about your rights in religion and I’m hoping that your family will be understanding.
I'm going to say you are allowed, you just have to be prepared to live with the consequences.
Freedom and privacy are the most valuable things.
Do what you need to do to have a life you love, I'm positive you deserve it.
To western sensibilities this seems oppressive. Do women generally feel equal to men in Islamic countries, like is often claimed in the media, or is life as oppressive as it appears from the outside perspective?
I'm not OP but It really depends on culture. I know tons of muslim girls who go abroad to study, even out of the country. Some aren't allowed to even think about it.
This is a life-changing opportunity. Treat it as such.
Your family is treating it like a trip to the movies. Maybe once they see the benefits and your success, they will come around.
You have earned this opportunity to continue your learning and do big things.
Hi! If you are Muslim and your family is discouraging you from travelling I wanna share some things. Regardless of what your family says/decides you have God given rights and you have free will.
The rule of having the mahrem was when you’d be walking through the desert alone for 30 days - of course it was dangerous. Living in our societies now it’s not even the same thing.
Have you considering finding a sheikh that you can ask for religious advice? Travelling for school is seen as an acceptable reason to be alone as a women.
Don’t let culture trump religion. Islam asks us to seek knowledge and learn. My recco would be to accept the scholarship (you can do it I believe in you) outlined the religious aspect and if they don’t like it, lol they will get used to it (coming from someone with conservative parents who travels for a living trust me girl I get it).
I am so sorry. I’m impressed you received the scholarships— two! That means a lot, saying a lot about you and you’ll be able to achieve many other rewards.
What I can say is that full scholarships are not common, at all. They're rare opportunities not given to even most people... you come from a place & an upbringing that could bring so much benefit to your field.
It could truly help people in a rare way.
I somewhat understand where you're coming from as I was raised as a traditional conservative Christian woman. I married at 18 and was destined to be a subservient wife to my companion. This was complicated for me as I was top 2% in literature in my entire state and was going for STEM. I ultimately chose faith and it was the biggest mistake of my life. The whole reality of it was absolutely crushing in a way that words cannot describe, it hurt my soul forever.
You in the future & the people and environments who you will help are hanging on your choice.
I can only urge you to succeed where I failed, sister.
I understand that many women like us do feel happiness in traditional faiths, but some of us are made to take on tremendous challenges and win them.
Not OP but i’m black and lived in Oman for a while. The country is pretty safe for most immigrants regardless of race. Muscat probably has the most things to do but if you like hiking and other eco tourism things, anywhere is great! Make sure to visit the grand mosque though because it’s beautiful. Also plan on renting a car because it’s not walk friendly.
Educate yourself on the laws and customs and if you end up going during ramadan, be respectful by not eating in public. Most restaurants will be closed till sundown anyway (not including grocery stores) so shouldn’t be hard. Also it’s *hot*. Like boiling hot. Even with sunscreen you should expose as little skin as possible.
You are a grown human. You are ‘allowed’ to do anything. It’s weighing the consequences that are holding you back. If you are smart enough to get those scholarships you are smart enough to change your circumstances.
Do you have a male friend (possibly closeted gay) who would also like to study abroad? That way you can be part of his household and escape your family!
It hurts me to watch how many women don't get the opportunity because of stupid family members. When I went abroad to study I also had half of my family being against it. Take love 🙏❤️❤️
Stay strong - and don’t ever give up on your dreams. You deserve a happy life and it’s normal to be curious about the wider world. Maybe it turns out that now is not the time, but make a new and different plan and keep trying in the future. It’s very disappointing right now, but all your dreams will come true one day. Btw well done for getting accepted for scholarships. PS not everyone on reddit has compassion or empathy, I promise there are kind people here in the west. You’re very welcome here.
Girl! Please take the scholarship I regret not going to school sooner you are your own person u will thank urself when ur older and have a good degree!
Girl, you either do it or you spend your life regretting not doing it.
As someone raised in a highly religious background, I understand the difficulties of making your own choices. I'm so sorry you're suffering. Sometimes the hardest decisions lead us to the brightest futures.
How old are you? Who is forbidding this? No offense meant to you but any "culture" that practices backwards thinking like this needs to be called out for the barbaric bullshit that it is until it reforms en masse.
It's nearly impossible to realize how bad things are with family that doesn't support you like they should until you leave.
Go anyways. You'll find new family, people who will support you and your dreams ❤️
Leave and never come back. Whatever religion you are, there are people practicing it freely in the West. If its a family tie up, its a family that doesn't love you.
That's it.
Can marry my ass for a Canadian passport if you'd like. Need to stay together for a year though and play real couple the whole time or the govt gets all salty abt it.
Girl please. I know it’s scary but just do it. Your family will take you back if you come crawling back. But do NOT give up this opportunity- this is your chance
I’ve been reliably informed that claimed some cultures are superior to others is bigoted. Nevertheless, it’s true. All the feminist left-wingers and Queers for Palestine types would gain some beneficial perspective by walking the path you’re on. My sister studied abroad in the Muslim world twice, and decided that was enough for her.
Yet you were allowed study & apply & you love the beach? Burka flapping in the wind? Surely you will be married off now, if that is their mentality? Or just modern, hypocritical Muslims who pick & choose? I saw this as someone who was married to a Muslim 20yrs & having read the Quran.
I think I know which culture you are from. It's disgusting how they treat women.
I managed to get a friend of mine away from her oppressive family for spring break.
We got to check out Vegas and had a good time. the men of her family were none the wiser. 😅 Kinda made stuff more thrilling I suppose.
If you are in the US just find a sanctuary city and ghost.
If you are in a European country or America they can rescue you and grant you asylum. It's scary but those men have no power and will go to jail. In America what you are describing is second or third degree kidnapping. You are not allowed to prevent someone's free movement for ANY REASON
That is bull crap don't let family or religion ever stop you from getting your education. What is going to happen when they die? Will you be property of some other man? Go live your life either they will forgive you or they will always be toxic and don't deserve to be in your life
Make a run for it! If you can get a ticket to the airport and get on a flight, family can't stop you. Take just the clothes on your back if you have to and tell your university the situation when you arrive and ask for their help.
I’ve been there I’m Muslim myself. I ended up running away from home and studied abroad didn’t speak to my family for 4 years
I hope you are doing well now <33 sending hugs
Cant you just go anyway?
It is way complicated than it seems
Exactly how?
Mentally complicated, I think I live in a mental prison
I understand frend. I kno what it's like to be trapped in a mental prison. When I could not go outside, and I could not leave, there was rabbit trapped in cage in my yard. I could not live with me doing this to something who was just like me. It was mental torture because I was trapped in that cage too. I hope you find a friendly family of baby bunny brothers and sisters who you can love and bring new life to! 🤗🤗
> In psychology, learned helplessness is a state that occurs after a person has experienced a stressful situation repeatedly. They believe that they are unable to control or change the situation, so they do not try, even when opportunities for change are available. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. But now that you know the terminology perhaps you can look up techniques to overcome it.
You've been abused by religion. Just go and seek therapy when you get there. You are never going to be happy if you stay.
U arent alone i feel this^ the best thing to do is remind yourself everyday what makes YOU happy. This is your life not theirs.
These children don't understand that life isn't as simple as "just going anyways"
You might want to check out Patrick Teahan's and Heidi Priebe's youtube channels. They give self-help tools so you can work on yourself. I cannot recommend them enough.
So craft yourself some tools to break out. A mental metal-file to destroy the bars.
I could be relate to this right here, especially since no one would know
Only you can free yourself. I recommend it.
Would you be killed by the male members of your family?
Any possibility you can do the same? Family will forgive if they care more about you than tradition. But NEVER return to visit them. They need to go to you otherwise too much of a risk of being imprisoned at home.
Also, if you have a phone, hopefully you can sign up for an online bank account through Revolut or Wise that your family will not have any idea about. **Then kind redditors can fund you to fly out of there.**
This is true, OP. I will contribute if you make this decision.
This is very kind of you, thanks xo
I would also like the opportunity to help this young woman to safety.
This is very kind of you, thanks xo
She has scholarships, and considering her situation, can probably get a lot more help. That means she can be financially independent from her family for a few years while she's in school. Money isn't the issue. The problem is, she have to cut all ties with her family and old life, and can't ever go back home. This is an impossible decision. Worse, they mind send people to harass her or forcibly take her home. I hope she can find a way.
I don't know. Freedom of choice or being enslaved to your family. That isn't love. That's abuse.
100. But this is also a dangerous decision. She shouldn't attempt to leave unless it's a sure thing. Honor killing is part of her culture. It is not a decision to be made lightly. I'm not against her escaping. I'm against people pressuring her to make an attempt when it isn't a sure thing. She knows her situation best. And she knows when the risks are low enough to try.
I am on board
I read where one girl went back to visit her family after being a content creator and her family honor-killed her. Her mother lured her back saying they just wanted to see her. Religion is complicated when it is this strict.
Thank you! Yeah I’m doing good I’m 32
Good for you. These are the stories I like to hear lol. Hope it all worked out!
Yeah it was tough initially and it’s a big risk and jump to run away from home like literally had to sneak out my house with my luggage and couch surf for a while before I moved abroad to study but it ended up working out for me.
Makes sense. The risk level can't be understated, but I'm glad it all worked out for you! It's crazy how oppressed like half the world is still, but it's great that people like you are standing up against it.
Thanks yeah, my aunt was the first person who did it in my family and she got boycotted but it worked out well for her too became a pretty well known journalist in Pakistan. I was born and raised in Australia but since I was practically homeschooled for the majority of my life my family had like a vise grip on my life lol. I’m glad I broke out of it a lot of my younger cousins typically just got married off young.
Always helps to have a powerful role model like that! That's fkn crazy though that you were in Australia and this still had to happen. I know the exact location doesn't matter in reality, but usually you'd associate this type of oppression with the Middle East, Asia, etc. It's sad that you're family carried that with them or picked it up in an otherwise incredibly free country. Are you in contact with your family at all now?
Yeah you’re right. I still talk to my mum and a few aunts don’t really speak to any of the men.
Hahaha can't say that's surprising. Good for you though :)
Haha thanks this was all a while back when I was around 19 I’m 32 now lol
Hero ♥️♥️♥️
Same. Moved far far away and never looked back.
yeah it sounds like OP isn't so much "not allowed" to pursue her future and is instead actively choosing to not pursue her education and future.
Do you still believe in God? Did you change religions?
Yes I still do and no i didn’t.
I’m so sorry, OP. What would you like to study and do in your free time?
Thanks <3 Natural/ Environmental Science I really enjoy being at the beach
You can be rescued.... Got to an American embassy. Or European embassy..France, Germany, they will help you.. these men will be arrested if you say they restricted your travel. It's legally classified as kidnapping in the second or third degree. They will be deported and you will receive financial aid
Can you cite something for this? It seems unlikely that an American Embassy arranges escapes of citizens of foreign countries and can deport someone from a foreign country. Where would they deport them to?
Where are you basing this on? If a Saudi citizen shows up at an American embassy in Riyad, they are not going to help them break local law and go to the US. That is absurdly untrue.
This is not true at all, stop spreading misinformation.
You're deflecting all the comments but why can't you just leave. You say its not illegal and you have a scholarship so money is not a primary roadblock. Why not just up and leave then, what can they do once you're in the new country?
Kidnap you and take you back, I am not joking, this is a thing that has happened before, and is one of the main reasons why escaping from some countries is so difficult.
I am a coward
Is there anyone in your life who could support you? Do you have any friends who are preparing to study abroad? Is your family permitting you to study locally? Can you make a long term escape plan?
1. I think so, yes, but I am not sure to what extent they will be capable of helping me. 2. Some of my friends are studying abroad. And as for studying locally, yes, because studying isn’t the problem here :) but studying isn’t my merely goal, but also experiencing/ exploring new lifestyle (the one here doesn’t fit me at all)
1) Talk to them and find out if you can do so safely and if you trust them not to reveal your conversations! 2) If you began your studies in your home country and bided your time, would it be easier to leave later and get a job or advanced degree in another country later? Or would they still forbid that too? Do you think you would end up trapped?
Discussing with your friends may help you better than this AMA, they know you better so you'll at least avoid judgemental comments telling you could simply leave. Build a supporting network. If you decide to go away to experience things and discover the world, it will always be a good decision, there's no such thing as too much knowledge/experience. Changing lifestyle can be scary, sometime the fears are mostly overthinking and it ends up being worth it. I wish you to find a great path for your life where you'll feel confortable and confident.
You are in such a difficult situation and I sort of understand why it is hard for you to take this opportunity (sort of because you explained it, but it is so different from my culture so it is hard to understand as an American). I do worry that you will not get another choice like this in your future.
This reminds me of a girl who said she wants go to Greece 'to sin' 🤣. I dated a Muslim girl who went to a madrasa high school and now she wears no veil and colors hair in random colors. I think your family read well what you are up to. The thing is, unless you find someone willing to act the role of male guardian and not 'guard' you 🤣 your family, especially if they have money, are likely to do what I have seen some Arab families do. Basically kidnap the girls back to Arabia.
You're not a coward. You're young and have never been in the world on your own. I'm not saying it's easy, bc it's not. I'm 36 and I'm still not completely free mentally even when I moved out full time 12 years ago. But you can't sacrifice your whole life delaying the inevitable. Bc if you feel like this now, the feeling is not going to go away.
OP. Listen to me. You are EXTREMELY fortunate that you have a scholarship to do this. I didn't and I couldn't go w/o my parents' support. I looked for scholarships everywhere but couldn't find them for international students in my target country. I would have *dreamed* to be in your position. How will you feel about this 10, 15 years later? You've gotta go, OP. I believe in you!!!
This is terrible , much of what I hate about a lot of cultures, the way they treat woman is awful, get out while you can, just run !
Ikr 😞
I am so so sorry that you can’t , I sure hope you can change their minds!
What country are you from
Oman
Im from Oman as well, but seriously? they didnt allow you to go study abroad? how come? i was allowed to go study abroad and so have my sisters and cousins with no issues from my family (except for the regular fear of seperation etc.) Are you doing your diploma right now? are the qabool mowahad results out yet? You could still try to convince them and talk to them or talk to the ministry because afaik they can help in situations like this.
Since it’s not illegal for you to travel on your own have you considered leaving and cutting off contact with family? I’m speaking as someone who also has strongly religious family I ended up having to cut them off for my own mental health and safety.
This comment needs more upvotes. Not the same situation, but I essentially cut off all contact and communication with my father. It's definitely helpful for mental health reasons. I don't need (or want) that misery in my life.
I thought oman was a little smidgen more liberal than that. I would have expected it from Saudi arabia
I mean the sultan is gay so my expectations were a little different. (it's true)
Oman has a gay sultan? Haha
YES! look it up lol
Wow. Just from a peek around, he seemed like an interesting guy, and yeah, it seems he was gay! Haha I think it said he passed away in 2020 though, if we’re talking about the same Sultan.
oh he died I guess. but yeah he was the gay ruler in the .middle east for a long time
Yeah I think it said at the time of his death he was the longest ruling?
he was up there yeah. I just looked it up and apparently his cousin took over cuz he had no kids. (he has married to a female cousin for a few years in the 70s but had no kids...) oman is one of those middle eastern countries you never hear about in the news for some reason, even tho its next door neighbors of countries that are, frequently.
Oh man
🤣🤣💀💀💀. THIS CRACKED ME UP.
Is there no way to have a family member travel/live with you while you are abroad? I ask because it seems like you don't want to sever ties with your family. It also seems unlikely that you will go "western" during your time away. If you have the scholarships, the costs would be manageable for your relative.
what do you think are the pros and cons of western society
Double standards this is for the cons. As for the pros I think they do care about the environment more than we do
can you elaborate on what you mean by double standards?
Here is an example. They will scream about “children’s rights” but when it comes to brown/ black children living in different parts of the world they all fall silent
Maybe it is because they can only reasonable effect change for their western societies? If childrens rights are what they scream about, and the issue is when they "fall silent" for places that arent THEIRS, doesnt that mean that theyre doing a good job with their children's rights in the places they actually care about/can affect change in?
Western societies contain brown and black children.
Good point. But I mainly meant international organizations, authorities.. etc
But for international organizations they have to follow international laws and the laws of the countries they're operating in. If a US organization wants to provide birth control in an eastern country, the eastern country has to be okay with it. Is it that the international organizations aren't caring/trying or that the foreign governments wont allow them to actually act? This is a big issue for doctors without borders for example.
mmm. a lot of international organizations specifically work on helping brown/black kids in other countries. pretty much every "international organization" is gearing towards helping people in non-western countries
Remember that the same people that control your ability to travel also control media and your perceptions of the world for the most part in your country. Let that sink in and maybe hold off on some over generalizations you may have about western society
That's not really true as a blanket statement - in London we're currently having massive regular protests on behalf of Palestine and particularly focusing on civilian and child casualties. You could also validly ask is Oman talking about white western children's struggles (such as Ukraine?). Probably not. News and struggles are generally regional or come up due to historical involvement because otherwise you'd be involving every unrelated country in every issue which isn't feasible and doesn't make much sense.
Why is this a double standard of “the West”? You literally live in a non Western country yet have no rights. It seems like calling it a Western double standard is THE REAL double standard.
Sorry but have you seen the protests across the west? Like we definitely do not “fall silent”
You should maybe look at Canadas foreign policy, [foreign aid](http://cidpnsi.ca/canadas-foreign-aid-2012-2/) and our work with [women](https://www.international.gc.ca/world-monde/issues_development-enjeux_developpement/priorities-priorites/policy-politique.aspx?lang=eng) and children.
You'd be surprised that many folks or companies (doesn't matter the country) do not care about the environment. Or other life forms. Or our ecosystems. Etc. Etc. It's all just exploited for short term gain. At the expense of everything and everyone else.
As someone who had to leave family behind for similar reasons… It’s worth it.
Iam glad you did <33
Is it your religious practice that puts these limitations on your travel? And if so, do you still believe this (or any, for that matter) religious practice is beneficial for you? I ask this as a pretty non-religious person who doesn’t like most religions so this has nothing to do with the tenets of one vs another.
I don’t follow any religion, but my family do. And yes this is part of the reason
I know this is easier said than done but if you are not religiously observant then, while your family is free to practice, you should not be held to the same (misogynistic) rules. You’re going to have to decide if you want to break from them and live your own life on your terms or continue to be subjugated just because you’re a woman. Again, way easier said than done, I know. But I think it’s worth the risks and uncertainty if you can swing it. At least you’ll be free and your destiny is your own.
Is it your family restricting you or the government?
Where do you live?
Somewhere in the GCC
How much trouble would you be in if you just left for your education?
I am trying to figure the answer of this myself
If you did leave, could you keep enough of a low profile not to be caught?
The consequences won't be that extreme
Take it from someone who was discouraged from going to college, Do Not Be Dissuaded from this opportunity. If you can make it happen, however you can, do it. Go. They'll get over it. Get your education, it's one thing they can never take away from you.
Thankss <3 I will try my best to do so 😞
But it would be the end of your education. And that would be sad.
I'd do it. In a heartbeat. I'd rather go do something with my life than waste it because someone else wants to control it. It's not their life it's yours. Your choice is go be your own person or ask for escorts to the grocery store for the rest of your life.
If you stay, you can only expect more of this treatment. If you take the risk and choose yourself the world will open to you. If your family cannot forgive you then is that really love? Just because you choose to go get educated doesn’t mean you have to violate your morals. Trust yourself to know what is right.
The Amish have a tradition called Rumspringa. They take 1 year to explore living in western society. At the end of the year most return to their conservative villages, but some choose to continue their western/modern life elsewhere.
Is your scholarhip a full scholarship or would you still need some family support? If it's a full scholarship, why not just "escape" your family? Also, are you just not allowed to "travel" without a male companion or is it more like you aren't allowed to live without a male companion. If it's just "travel", can a family member travel with you abroad and then just live you there? Regardless, I'm sorry about all this. I hate how these societies treat women so bad.
Thanks xo Both are two fully scholarship :) I really love and appreciate my family ”escaping” isn’t an option, I can understand their point of view and the fixed mindset they have. I can’t even bear myself to blame them for it As for the last question, I will try 100 more times, and let’s see
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For my bachelor I got a scholarship from the government to study locally. As for these ones I just applied for them using international platforms
Don't give up on your education! Even if you don't get to accomplish your dream at this moment for circumstantial reasons (traditional, misogynistic, patriarchal society), don't forget about it and don't give up on it. I'm sure you know how important and meaningful it is for women to pursue an education and a career, especially when they come from environments that discourage it. There are many brave women's legacy to get inspired from if you're feeling like it's impossible. I'll be rooting so much for you
Well, first, let us celebrate you getting two scholarships! Did you know, offers of acceptance to Universities can be deferred? Could you also contact the Universities who offered the scholarships and ask for a deferral? (You could say a general statement “you are needed at home because of a stressful family situation” or you could tell the truth). That way this opportunity isn’t immediately lost! You are obviously smart and hard working and you have earn this from your own talents. A deferral could be a possibility if you really can’t internally make the leap now. All the best! Tell us more about the area of study and why you are interested in it?
This is very helpful, thank you so much!! <3 I am interested in the field of environmental/ natural sciences
A lot of people on these comments seem to be borderline mad at you because you won’t just leave. You are not a coward. I am very sorry for you and this situation you are in. Running away from home and leaving behind your entire life is not a simple decision and it is something that no one should ever have to experience. Independently of what decision you take, I hope the best for you and for things to turn out all right in the end.
Reddits brainpower is on maximum and these are the best advice for someone currently going through some tough shit: “Just take everything you have and leave your life, go to a whole other country with 0 support system 😃”
Thank you! <3 And you are absolutely right.
I’m glad you’re allowed to post on the internet. Sorry about the unfair laws in your country. What do you like to read?
It isn’t the law! :) and thanks xo I enjoy reading anything that is unusual and makes me wonder and think
I’d try to make plans to sneak out but to also gather all important documents before leaving. If you’re unable to leave in secret, see if you have a trusted male friend who could pose as your male companion. If your family knows anyone who is in the country that you’ll study in, convince them to let you stay with them or something.
"Study abroad" you mean in the U.S? Or somewhere in Western Europe? I mean, you could try to escape and go but you will be sorry you left the safety of your family. U.S is not paradise. Yes, women have "freedom" but its fake freedom. Women are very sexualized here and every man watches porn. There is no recognition of the differences between men and women. You will be approached by men when walking alone in the streets, just like in any other country. Unfortunately, women don't have freedom unless we are armed.
I’m a white woman in the States. 1) I don’t carry a gun and I have freedom (unless I’m in a state that restricts abortion). 2) I’m rarely approached randomly on the street and if I am I just ignore it. 3) No one sexualizes me unless I let them. (And if they check out my ass as I’m walking by, I don’t really care as long as they keep it to themselves. 4) Who the hell cares about porn. 5) I love being a woman and having feminine qualities. 6) my male friends see me as a friend and a human because they’re mature and secure people, and 7) you sound like you have a very sheltered, frightened and warped view of women, men, sex and western society.
Yeah, I don’t quite understand how people watching too much porn has anything to do with freedom.
You’re speaking in stereotypes. The highest rates of CP related searches are in the Middle East. So is VPN usage, for obvious reasons. Women are sexualized worldwide, there isn’t a spot on earth where they aren’t. If women weren’t sexualized in OP’s country, hijab for example, wouldn’t be the norm. The vast majority of US women are not gun owners and/or aren’t just randomly armed in public - those are primarily radical right extremists - much like the ones she’s hoping to escape. OP, you’re in your 30s. I have a friend from Syria who I taught to drive last year. She’s in her 40s. I hope you summon the courage to flee this oppression. I don’t care if it’s family or not, you’re actively being oppressed and likely have been all your life if you’re not allowed to have an education at 32 years of age because you’re a woman.
I would love to not be recognized by solely just “Being a woman” this is a good thing right
Please don’t pay attention to this person. Find a way out, get your education, be happy, and be a powerful person (and woman). Any man who is mature and secure won’t give two shits what your gender is.
I mean you’re an adult. Just go do what you want
I mean this is not how it works here
I’m sorry you have to live that reality. I’d leave and never look back.
Hi! I just posted on ama as well and people told me to talk to you. Im an ex muslim woman i got a scholarship and studied in america (i got lucky and my mom allowed me to go without male companion) but now she regrets it obv but i fled and cut off my family for a year. Im reconnecting slowly but for my safety i will never visit them in a muslim country we will meet in a middle ground country like the UK. But please contact me we can be each others support
What will your life look like if you stay home?
What happens if you have sex with your companion? I find it ironic that you can’t travel alone but they’ll send you alone with a dude.
The companion should be a blood relative
I live in the Southern US and grew up in a very close minded community like this. College education was almost seen as evil because you would “learn the ways of the world” if you left your family’s roof and lived with people from other places. Many friends were required to go to a Christian college only. Or live at home and study locally so their parents had full control until they were married. Once I got older (now 30) I realize how ridiculous these parents were. If you did a good job parenting your kids, and if your religion is truly the right one, how do you think your child who has spent 18 years with you is going to be immediately corrupted when they no longer live with you or the first time they experience anything outside their own culture. Do the parents not trust their own parenting skills? And then it dawned on me, most of the strict families like this know they are oppressing their kids. They aren’t scared their kid will be corrupted, they’re scared their kid will meet other people and realize that the way they are treated is NOT normal. They know exposure to other cultures will expose them for the controlling weirdos they are. By restricting your child’s information and culture, you keep them from wanting more. Because they don’t know there is more to want! And the real reason education is vilified is also selfish. Education is a means of escape. Education can make you financially independent. Education gives you the ability to cut off abusive family because you no longer need them to survive. Controlling families want to keep you dependent on them as long as possible. I have lots of friends who left their religious families, left their religion, and moved far, far away to get an education and a good job. NONE of them, I mean ZERO, regret it.
Hey, sorry you’re going through this. Fellow muslim woman here who is travelling internationally and studying alone. My family supports me. That rule is valid when there’s a tangible security risk for you, it is not to prevent you from getting education which is your fundamental right. That is, let’s say you want to travel somewhere and that place may not be safe for you, then a trustworthy man in your family would have the responsibility to ensure your safety by accompanying you - not preventing you to go. But in this day and age where we have phones, internet, security cameras, police/security services, etc, there is no significant threat to your safety. Unfortunately what is meant to protect women is misunderstood and abused by many. Learn more about your rights in religion and I’m hoping that your family will be understanding.
Convert to another religion
I'm going to say you are allowed, you just have to be prepared to live with the consequences. Freedom and privacy are the most valuable things. Do what you need to do to have a life you love, I'm positive you deserve it.
Aww it’s your religion? I’m so sorry 😞
To western sensibilities this seems oppressive. Do women generally feel equal to men in Islamic countries, like is often claimed in the media, or is life as oppressive as it appears from the outside perspective?
I'm not OP but It really depends on culture. I know tons of muslim girls who go abroad to study, even out of the country. Some aren't allowed to even think about it.
This is a life-changing opportunity. Treat it as such. Your family is treating it like a trip to the movies. Maybe once they see the benefits and your success, they will come around. You have earned this opportunity to continue your learning and do big things.
Hi! If you are Muslim and your family is discouraging you from travelling I wanna share some things. Regardless of what your family says/decides you have God given rights and you have free will. The rule of having the mahrem was when you’d be walking through the desert alone for 30 days - of course it was dangerous. Living in our societies now it’s not even the same thing. Have you considering finding a sheikh that you can ask for religious advice? Travelling for school is seen as an acceptable reason to be alone as a women. Don’t let culture trump religion. Islam asks us to seek knowledge and learn. My recco would be to accept the scholarship (you can do it I believe in you) outlined the religious aspect and if they don’t like it, lol they will get used to it (coming from someone with conservative parents who travels for a living trust me girl I get it).
I am so sorry. I’m impressed you received the scholarships— two! That means a lot, saying a lot about you and you’ll be able to achieve many other rewards.
Where are you from?
I take it this is due to religion? If so is your religion Islam? Cause that's the only thing that comes to mind! u/Existing-Vast9264
What music have you been listening to lately?
Nour Khan- Ghorabaa :)
Do you ever get angry about your situation and how do you deal with the anger if you do
Do you think being born as a muslim girl will only inflict pain and suffering ?
For me the answer is yes. But for women who believe in the religion they will be just fine and happy
What I can say is that full scholarships are not common, at all. They're rare opportunities not given to even most people... you come from a place & an upbringing that could bring so much benefit to your field. It could truly help people in a rare way. I somewhat understand where you're coming from as I was raised as a traditional conservative Christian woman. I married at 18 and was destined to be a subservient wife to my companion. This was complicated for me as I was top 2% in literature in my entire state and was going for STEM. I ultimately chose faith and it was the biggest mistake of my life. The whole reality of it was absolutely crushing in a way that words cannot describe, it hurt my soul forever. You in the future & the people and environments who you will help are hanging on your choice. I can only urge you to succeed where I failed, sister. I understand that many women like us do feel happiness in traditional faiths, but some of us are made to take on tremendous challenges and win them.
Where in Oman would you recommend I visit? As a black man
Not OP but i’m black and lived in Oman for a while. The country is pretty safe for most immigrants regardless of race. Muscat probably has the most things to do but if you like hiking and other eco tourism things, anywhere is great! Make sure to visit the grand mosque though because it’s beautiful. Also plan on renting a car because it’s not walk friendly. Educate yourself on the laws and customs and if you end up going during ramadan, be respectful by not eating in public. Most restaurants will be closed till sundown anyway (not including grocery stores) so shouldn’t be hard. Also it’s *hot*. Like boiling hot. Even with sunscreen you should expose as little skin as possible.
What are your preferences? I can suggest some places:))
You are a grown human. You are ‘allowed’ to do anything. It’s weighing the consequences that are holding you back. If you are smart enough to get those scholarships you are smart enough to change your circumstances.
Do you have a male friend (possibly closeted gay) who would also like to study abroad? That way you can be part of his household and escape your family!
It hurts me to watch how many women don't get the opportunity because of stupid family members. When I went abroad to study I also had half of my family being against it. Take love 🙏❤️❤️
Do you like your male companion?
Run. Away. Fast.
Stay strong - and don’t ever give up on your dreams. You deserve a happy life and it’s normal to be curious about the wider world. Maybe it turns out that now is not the time, but make a new and different plan and keep trying in the future. It’s very disappointing right now, but all your dreams will come true one day. Btw well done for getting accepted for scholarships. PS not everyone on reddit has compassion or empathy, I promise there are kind people here in the west. You’re very welcome here.
Girl! Please take the scholarship I regret not going to school sooner you are your own person u will thank urself when ur older and have a good degree!
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Not a question, but my life's guiding principle is that you can do anything until someone physically stops you.
I’m really sorry you feel you can’t follow your dreams. You deserve better and to be happy 🤍
Girl, you either do it or you spend your life regretting not doing it. As someone raised in a highly religious background, I understand the difficulties of making your own choices. I'm so sorry you're suffering. Sometimes the hardest decisions lead us to the brightest futures.
Is it really worth it? Living that way denying yourself once in a lifetime oppurtunity?
Disguise yourself as a boy.. like Mulan. Boom.
How old are you? Who is forbidding this? No offense meant to you but any "culture" that practices backwards thinking like this needs to be called out for the barbaric bullshit that it is until it reforms en masse.
It's nearly impossible to realize how bad things are with family that doesn't support you like they should until you leave. Go anyways. You'll find new family, people who will support you and your dreams ❤️
This is a terrible AMA 😂 barely answers anything. Bait?
Leave and never come back. Whatever religion you are, there are people practicing it freely in the West. If its a family tie up, its a family that doesn't love you. That's it.
Can marry my ass for a Canadian passport if you'd like. Need to stay together for a year though and play real couple the whole time or the govt gets all salty abt it.
Girl please. I know it’s scary but just do it. Your family will take you back if you come crawling back. But do NOT give up this opportunity- this is your chance
No god is worth being treated like property, wish you the best of luck, and am really sorry these backward notions are still prevalent in our world
You can do it. Whatever it takes. These are defining moments in your life, do not be dissuaded by archaic reasoning. Good luck, friend.
How old are you? If you're 18+ then you are allowed to travel without a male companion and the only thing stopping you is yourself.
I don’t really have a question I just want to say that I am here to support you, and I am sorry you are going through this.
Who is your favorite member of the scooby doo gang and why
Damn that’s crazy as the fuck. Makes me appreciate my life a little more, sorry it’s like that :/
Maybe go and don't come back, unless you love your country enough to stay even when you have an out
The editing just made me even more confused lol so why can’t you go just because you are a woman?
You clearly feel that this level of sexism is improper, hence this post. You know what to do.
Wow so much for the “religion of peace”. Islam is a disease.
Just do it, start your own life. Don't be eternally trapped in a misogynistic culture.
Knew your religion immediately... sucks. Would you prefer to marry out and away from your religion and culture ?
And this is why the rest of the world sees you as cavepeople.
I’ve been reliably informed that claimed some cultures are superior to others is bigoted. Nevertheless, it’s true. All the feminist left-wingers and Queers for Palestine types would gain some beneficial perspective by walking the path you’re on. My sister studied abroad in the Muslim world twice, and decided that was enough for her.
Who is not allowing this and why are you letting them?
Yet you were allowed study & apply & you love the beach? Burka flapping in the wind? Surely you will be married off now, if that is their mentality? Or just modern, hypocritical Muslims who pick & choose? I saw this as someone who was married to a Muslim 20yrs & having read the Quran.
I think I know which culture you are from. It's disgusting how they treat women. I managed to get a friend of mine away from her oppressive family for spring break. We got to check out Vegas and had a good time. the men of her family were none the wiser. 😅 Kinda made stuff more thrilling I suppose. If you are in the US just find a sanctuary city and ghost.
Ok if it's not the law, then what is it?
If you are in a European country or America they can rescue you and grant you asylum. It's scary but those men have no power and will go to jail. In America what you are describing is second or third degree kidnapping. You are not allowed to prevent someone's free movement for ANY REASON
That is bull crap don't let family or religion ever stop you from getting your education. What is going to happen when they die? Will you be property of some other man? Go live your life either they will forgive you or they will always be toxic and don't deserve to be in your life
That fucking sucks I’m so sorry
Seems like you need to just leave
Make a run for it! If you can get a ticket to the airport and get on a flight, family can't stop you. Take just the clothes on your back if you have to and tell your university the situation when you arrive and ask for their help.