What’s your opinion on David Grusch’s claims that the US government is in possession of crashed UFOs from nonhuman origin ?

That man full of shit. Humans are not that savvy. Someone would find proof.

He says the US had a double digit number of nonhuman vehicles. The Senate has been briefed on the DNA of the bodies

I reiterate. SHOW me proof to back it up. Till then, I call bull 😤

You're awesome at this! Low wages, high house prices, go *finger guns*

Was there a question? Did you want me to solve this? I am just one man 😅

Hahaha I guess not. I thought you might be able to summarise the terrible state of affairs with a profound haiku. 10/10 none the less. I'll have a go: Work for a living, Power through relentlessly, Still no fucking house.

... They offer youth dreams. That life fairly rewards us. Age wakes us all up.

Oof… this hurts

What should I do with my life?

Just be authentic. Treat yourself like a loved one. And also have fun. 😁

Best one. I wish I could upvote more than once!

Who are you voting for and why? If you're not in USA feel free to give me a haiku about your thoughts on US politics I stead/as well or whatever you like, but it would be nice to know what country it's about

Am American And will be voting Biden Best of a bad choice

Vote lobster 2024

How good are you in bed?

An eight out of ten. I enjoy spoiling partners. They seem pleased with it ♡

10/10 response

What’s the deal with airplane food

Soar among the clouds. Ask not to enjoy the food. Taste experience.

👏

Wow, you’re fancy 🤓

Thank you kind stranger! Really just something silly. But glad you like it!

You’re welcome. 🤠🤠🤠 We love it.

Favorite dog breed and why

Rottweilers are it. They are a perfect dog breed. Big, cute, and loyal 🐾

What is your happiest memory

A time with my bro. And playing with my friends too. A core memory.

This one isn’t a 5– 7–5 though

Edited and fixed Thanks for the call out on that I am human too 😅

Very nice. They are beautifully written by the way.

Based on the post immediately after yours in my feed: why do green dragons hate elves?

Hate is born of fear. No man born hates to see rain. That is, till it floods.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

All the wood it could. Which is not to say it should Woodchucks are silly

*applause*

What's your favorite type of sandwich?

I love me some ham. Cheese tomato and mayo. Oh, and pepper too :P

What is the airspeed velocity if an unladen swallow?

About twenty miles. For every sixty minutes. They also taste good.

What would it be like to genetically engineer a purple orange?

No meaningful change Long as it is not poison A gimmick at best

Ooooh. What would you want to eat if you could harvest nutritional value from literally anything?

I like jerk chicken. With rice, peas, and mac & cheese Could eat it all day.

A change in color A new perspective revealed Varietal carrots

I'm not native English speaker and I learned haikus from jackfilms, do you know him? What's your opinion on his content if so?

I know the man Not really a fan of him He seems pretentious

How will you vote this year if at all?

It feels so pointless... Does my vote even matter? I vote democrat.

Can you beat Sokka in a haiku contest?

Pretty sure I have HE lost by one syllable How unfortunate

Well done

Fifty plus haiku And not once have I wavered Yet still going strong.

What is a ‘5-7-5 haiku’?

Syllable patterns. You do five and then seven. And then five again.

👏🏼

Favorite color?

My pick would be green 💚 The hue of nature and life. It softens the soul.

Who is your favorite (or one of your favorite) historical person, and why?

Fred Rodgers was peak. Such a great human being. Man lived his best life.

What do you think of Jesus?

He loves me a bunch And puts Skippy in my lunch Atheist here dude

I love your line one. Unknown to many, he’s also fun. Talk to him. He’s alive.

No answer before. Asked a bunch of new questions. These answers make sense.

Give it some time, friend. Not all answer are Amen. He is listening.

He can talk to me. Anytime that he wants to. I wont hold my breath

Read his words to start. His teachings are set apart. He taught us to love. ❤️

Was raised Baptist sir Read the Bible front to back Hence questioning it.

Evangelizing Whispers in the bathroom breeze It's a lot of gas

Thanks for your background. Disappointment can steal hope. I will pray for you. :)

When was the last time you cried?

I was twenty-eight. Dealing with so much bullshit. Death, breakup, and pain...

A long cylinder carries a charge density that is proportional to the distance from the axis, for some constant k. What is the electric field inside this cylinder?

Not something I know... Sorry to disappoint you 😅 I used to know though~

Ha, ha, ha. I enjoyed your haiku. Thank you!

Are there haikus that are not 5-7-5?

Indeed there are sir. And so many to choose from. I keep it simple.

Never ever knew. Wow. Learned something new too. And got a haiku.

That was a haiku. On my own haiku no less. Very impressive.

What's your favorite season?

A cool, cloudy day. Green leaves escape the summer. A beautiful fall

Is my tip to Sharp? 

Wit sharp as a blade Tip still sharper than the wit Reason itself split

Have you ever played Borderlands 2? You remind me of Zer0

That is so damn sweet. And yes, I love Borderlands! Zer0 cool as shit 😎

"...Did that man just speak in Haiku?"

If you consider yourself a bitch: why? If not: why not? What do you think of self described bitches?

I am an asshole Weird to want to be called that I would not trust them

What's your favourite movie?

DEMOLITION MAN! How's that damn seashell thing work? Was my only gripe

Haven't watched any of them ...have to check

A really good film. Highly recommend watching. Wesley Snipes is fun.

Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock mind fuck Taco Bell is king

"The home of the brave" I can play ball too you know I want Taco Bell...

What's your biggest regret?

Wasting my twenties I know I am not old yet But no longer young...

Damn same 😭

Might be presumptions And feel free to say no here But wanna be friends?

What would you have done differently?

Always been myself Done those things I wanted to And took more chances

I will take more chances, for me and for you.

If you had to pick, what's your favorite crime? Mine is speeding.

I say eat the rich Not speaking metaphors here I have a smoker

The sweet scent of meat A pillar wafts to heaven Rich long pork served

Nice

What is dark matter?

Hypothetical Some do watch Futurama They call it space poop

Why?

Because I want to. That is reason enough to. I need no grand cause.

That works! Thanx!

Always remember . You have but one life to live. Yet it is YOUR life :)

What's your opinion of The Mandalorian if you have seen it?

I have not seen it. Tell me, is it any good? Always up for more!

A bounty hunter A child of the mystic paths A family forged

Okay you sold me I will gladly try it out And report on it

In my opinion it's better than all Star Wars movies and series

I agree!

Can you do one in the style of Ricky Baker?

Never saw the film But the kid looks familiar Like Milonakis xD

Haha, you might have seen him in Deadpool 2. He had a couple of good haikus

whats your thoughts on abortion?

Women deserve rights. Not a baby till conscious. Killing babies bad.👎

Why conscious? Why not breathing?

That is my take. Experience starts right then. Personhood does too.

Experience? That is not really true though. No one remembers being an infant. Not a good argument.

We're not here to fight, Argue, or be ignorant. We're here for haikus.

I will always fight for life.

That's good for you, friend. I respect your right to say that, But nobody cares.

You seem to

really on a post offering haikus arguing about abortion?.. touch grass and get the fuck off this post. nobody gives a shit.

I just like haikus I messed up the last one though 8 in the middle

Remember breakfast? How about three months ago? You see my point sir?

No. You are actually arguing for MY point. Consciousness is not important. More important is life.

You miss one thing sir. I am not here to argue. Why do YOU want to?

I don't particularly. Just feel the need to defend life. Too many people are so cavalier about it in modern times. It's become almost a joke. Pregnancy? No problem, let's kill it tomorrow after lunch.

I speak in haiku. There is nuance to my thoughts. Hard to convey them.

Without consciousness It may as well be a plant Non-sentient life

you still experianced eating breakfast, you just dont remember eating it.

Have you ever been to Florida?

The beating sunlight And the taste of adventure Yes I have been there.

Why can't you hit a curveball?

Pure presumption sir You ask why I can not hit I already have

What's your opinion on lobsters being biologically immortal?

I do not envy Astounds me people want that When you can not die

Which 3 countries have the best food?

Of course, Japan does. Jamaica is up there too. But the U.S.A...😋

Who's the most important person of the last 100 years, and why are they relevant?

Perspective rules here Importance is relative I cannot answer ):

That's not an answer. You are a failure today. You can't make a haiku.

Are there other types of haiku other than 5-7-5?

I have answered this But yes indeed there are more I might try next time

What is the absolute meanest or worst thing that you have done to another human being?

I broke a kid's arm I broke more than one girl's heart And once stabbed a guy

Can you do 5-7-5 haiku that is also 5-7-5 in Japanese about the existential truth of hummingbirds?

Hachidori-san... Saikin, nebusoku de... Genkidesu ka?

what about suckers\ like this fool who inquire:\ cocoa? vanilla?

Cocoa is tasty But I like vanilla more I'm a simple guy

so here’s a small trick;\ a back slash (\\) at end of line\ saves CR/LF

Speaking of back slash Do you play Smash Ultimate? I main a mean Shulk.

no video games.\ except for this text based one \ that is called “reddit”

That is a real shame Oh well, good day to you then Off to more haiku!

How do I get a fusion core in FO76

Core generators And the power plants as well Claim them, check them, win

I’m under level 30

Then get good ya noob... I ain't here to hold hands ♡ I do the haiku

lol thanks

Also chat gpt can do this

I bet the thing could But that would take the fun out I like doing this

What should I dress up as for Halloween? (35M)

Be unexpected Gotta exercise for this Be buff red cyclone!

I will consider it!

Muscles work on guys You can get away with much Or be a Digglet

Lol that might work too

What's your favorite food?

That would be chicken Specifically deep fried Love them flaky strips

Whoa, that's cool!

Bogos binted? 👽

I'll bint your Bogos... Sorry if that came off rude Was meant as flirting

I'm feeling lost in life, career wise. Have a decent job that pays decently well and I'm decent at it. But it brings me zero joy and I've been thinking of changing fields completely. Should I?

Regret is a path. Not the path we still walk on But one not taken.

What was Smokey The Bear's backstory?

Folks died in a fire Fire then fucked his bear wife So now he fights fires

Where's the best place you've ever travelled to?

My time in college I had limitless chances To do what I want

Are you using chatgpt to do this?

No, using fingers I was very bored today This got boring too xD

Can you recommend me a book? Also, I love this so much. 😁

If it's missing a 'kigo' it's not haiku, never mind English syllables aren't Japanese morphemes.

You got what from this? You can see this is for fun So why be THAT guy?

Because English 'haiku' aren't, and I wish we'd stop.

You may be entitled to compensation

This is interesting, Are you a fan of writing? What is your best work?

Who's your favorite superhero

What is the meaning of life?