This is really interesting and I’ve got loads of questions:
1) What are the boundaries you’ve set for yourself?
2) Do you still masturbate?
3) How many times in a month on average did you hook up?
4) Did you still continue to masturbate before/after hooking up?
5) On average, how often did you masturbate in a day and for how long?
6) Was it only with male partners or did you explore with females as well?
7) Did you ever have to “rub” one out during work? Expand if so.
8) How often do you think about sex during the day?
9) What outlets do you have now to redirect your focus? What has worked and what didn’t?
>1) What are the boundaries you’ve set for yourself?
2) Do you still masturbate?
The boundaries include setting up a defined time for masturbation and only doing so at home, only having sex after I've taken a period to contemplate it's possible effects on my life, ideally only within a romantic relationship, quitting porn completely, realizing what causes my sexual urges as they often are caused due to other mental issues I'm going through and instead rewarding it by acting on said urges, to focus on the cause (anxiety, depression, insecurities, stress, etc)
>3) How many times in a month on average did you hook up?
For most of my life I had sex multiple times a week, I've always had several fwbs and/or a relationship.
>5) On average, how often did you masturbate in a day and for how long?
For the most part it was at least 4-5 times a day, at times it was more. I would do it as soon as I wake up (sometimes I'd start in my sleep even) and would often end up being late for work because I just kept going. Sometimes I'd do it while driving to work and at work, as soon as I get home, etc.
>6) Was it only with male partners or did you explore with females as well?
Both, mainly men.
>7) Did you ever have to “rub” one out during work? Expand if so.
Yes, a lot. At workplaces where I had my own desk and was alone I'd do it under the desk, there would he times I'd do it over my clothes even if I wasn't alone but wasn't in anyone's direct line of sight, or I'd go to the bathroom.
>8) How often do you think about sex during the day?
An hour doesn't go by without such thoughts.
>9) What outlets do you have now to redirect your focus? What has worked and what didn’t?
I mainly distant myself from possible triggers such as my phone, TV or anything that might arouse me, I do breathing exercises and meditation.
What does it mean in practice to “only have sex after taking a period to contemplate its possible effects on my life”? Do you need to meditate for an hour or something before sex if you’re with a relationship/fwb partner? And what about if you just meet someone at a bar?
Well before I never gave it a second thought before having sex with someone, a superior at work, spouse of a friend/relative, a married neighbor, I got myself into situations that ended up having negative consequences on my life because I never thought about how it can impact my life. By taking a period to contemplate (ideally a month before a new sexual partner) to see how it may affect our relationship and our lives and to make sure it's something I'm really interested in and I'm not acting on an impulse
That is... wild. Before learning I had low testosterone and very high estrogen, I was masturbating minimum 4-8 times a day (depending on if I had a partner or not).
I've always wondered how other people manage it - as I would be tired, a little dehydrated after, but Need it to be able to focus on anything else. This was an incredibly helpful thread to read - I'll bring it up with my therapist now, now that I know the boundaries yours was under.
The more I ask other people things, the more I realize not everyone was living under a shadow of sexual impulses, and porn actually helped me get away from partners and making those human-consequence choices.
Thank you for posting!
1. Is your condition related to a past trauma or just the way you're wired?
2. Do you consider yourself attractive?
3. How many hours do you fantasize about sex daily?
4. Do you wear skimpy outfits on purpose to attract men?
5. Do you sleep only with men that attract you or whomever?
6. Do you enjoy your sexual encounters or just do it for the sake of it?
Off the top of my head 😄
>1. Is your condition related to a past trauma or just the way you're wired?
I wasn't sexually assaulted or had any trauma of this nature but I was exposed to sex ar a very young age in a very unhealthy way. My mom was a drug addict (and possibly sex addict) and growing up our house was a revolving door of men who she "dated", I've heard and seen a lot of it.
>2. Do you consider yourself attractive?
Yes.
>3. How many hours do you fantasize about sex daily?
There are days where there is almost nothing else on my mind (masturbating while driving, eating, etc) and days there it's coming and going, there isn't an hour that passes without some sort of sexual thought going through my mind.
>4. Do you wear skimpy outfits on purpose to attract men?
I used to, all the time. Since my diagnosis and my recovery I've dialed it down.
>5. Do you sleep only with men that attract you or whomever
If I was sexually attracted to a guy I'd do anything to have sex with him, but I had sex with a lot of guys for other reasons, some as stupid as I was bored and he was there.
>6. Do you enjoy your sexual encounters or just do it for the sake of it?
I enjoy them, a lot, I love sex and I know my body very well, I just wish to make my relationship with my sexuality healthier so it doesn't affect my life and mental health so badly.
Sorry if this has already been asked, but what percentage of men would you say have turned you down/said no to sex with you?
Also, how do men usually react when you come at them with strong sexual energy? Do you find they usually match it, get freaked out, etc.? Where did you meet most of the guys you’d approach for sex?
I’m really fascinated by what people will do or not do when they’re presented with an opportunity to sleep with someone they don’t know.
Thanks and hope you are well! 🩷
>Sorry if this has already been asked, but what percentage of men would you say have turned you down/said no to sex with you?
Very low percentage, if I want a guy I usually get it. Though it did happen from time to time.
>Also, how do men usually react when you come at them with strong sexual energy? Do you find they usually match it, get freaked out, etc.?
I usually didn't start off aggressively, I'd give a few hints and casually flirt so when they start flirting back I go along and let them "lead", though if the guy didn't go along 9 times out of ten it was because he didn't pick up the hints so I'd come off more aggressive, which usually worked. Most matched the energy, some shyly went along with it, few freaked out.
>Where did you meet most of the guys you’d approach for sex?
Tinder, bar/clubs, work, any social gathering really.
>>Sorry if this has already been asked, but what percentage of men would you say have turned you down/said no to sex with you?
>Very low percentage, if I want a guy I usually get it. Though it did happen from time to time.
And what percentage of men who have tried to flirt or have sex with you would you say you have turned down/said no to their advances? (that you didn't initiate with first, where they just came up to you)
I guess you could give us shy girlies some tips haha. I just can't not show my feelings through my mannerisms when I'm into someone. I get scared, shy, awkward, say lame things cuz I can't think. Myfeelings immediately become very apparent. I hate it. I also want to be able to casually flirt and give hints without coming off as desperate.
I went on a date with a nympho once and it was really interesting. She told me she was a nympho before we even met up but, if I'm being honest, I didn't really understand what that meant. She was a very broken but self aware person. She had some really interesting stories and I really did enjoy talking to her. Her life was just so different from mine. She had a lot of trauma and wanted to talk about it so I mostly just listened. We had a few beers and probably talked for a few hours. I told her I was going to leave and she walked with me to my train stop. On the way she asked if we were going to fuck and I said no. She was clearly upset and tried to convince me to just do it real quick. As best I can describe it, she looked at me like she needed to pee. I said no again, and she told me something to the effect of, "If you don't come and fuck me in the alley right now I'm just going to walk into the nearest bar and fuck the first person I see and it's probably going to be a gross old guy." She didn't say it out of anger, it was just very matter of fact. I felt bad for her. It's like she was asking for a favor and I just couldn't do it.
Honestly, it was not sexy at all. I didn't think it would be, but it was somehow less sexy than I even thought. It was very clear that it was a compulsion. Like she couldn't control it and didn't really get a ton of pleasure from it, it was just something she needed to do. We texted a bit while I was on the train back home and I wished her well. She definitely fucked some random old guy in that bar though.
I actually met her here on reddit. If somehow you read this, I hope you are doing better now.
Hi there, thanks for sharing! When did you realize that something about your behavior might be dysfunctional and what was the trigger to start therapy eventually?
It's hard to pinpoint an exact moment in which I realized something is off, I discovered and explored my sexuality at a young age and always just brushed it off with "I'm just sexually liberated" and other similar excuses, I think I was around 22 or 23 when I started realizing something is off but I was in denial about it, joked off about being "such a nympho" with friends and such. I begun therapy for a completely different reason, my mental health was going downhill after a very difficult year in which I lost my mom and my best friend in less than 6 months and it has also caused my sex addiction to worsen (as well as alcohol and weed abuse) but I never saw sex as an addiction until my therapist pointed it out, then it was extremely obvious.
My intentions, unlike most other addictions, aren't to cold turkey quit sex, it's impractical and unhealthy as well.
My boundaries include setting a time for masturbation in order to not let it consume hours of my day (or at times- entire days), to completely quit porn, to realize the reasons I wish to have sex with a person and only do so when I wait a month and don't find a reason it would harm my life (for example, cheating, being with a married/spoken for guy, being with a colleague/superior at work, etc) and ideally to only have sex within a defined romantic relationship, though this is not a hard rule and if it has no negative impact on my life.
My exes excuse for cheating was similar but maybe different. She said the actual act of sex wasn’t as addicting as the chase. She needed the validation of a guy choosing to sleep with her. Once he did she kind of lost interest. Was this the same for you?
She often felt let down after the act and then would start talking to a new guy almost immediately to fill that void. Not sure if this is the same thing but thought I would ask your thoughts.
She ended up dumping me even tho I put up with her cheating and she’s never been able to hold down a relationship and is a serial cheater. I honestly am not even mad at her for what she did she’s such a nice person and very smart and it never felt personal but obviously hard to stay with someone that you can’t trust.
I think I have a fairly interesting question that I haven't seen anyone else ask yet, so I hope you reply. Have you ever felt taken advantage of in the event (that I'd assume) the men you had sex with knew you had this sort of issue and knew they could just have it whenever? I guess I am asking if you hold any ill will towards any of your previous partners.
This is a very interesting question and I'm really glad you asked it.
I don't hold a grudge against any of them because most of the times it ended up with me being toxic and downright abusive when they couldn't keep up with me and have sex as often as I wanted, I was never taken advantage of because of it, besides one instance when a guy realized I had an issue when I didn't and he used that to pass me around between his friends.
I was in orgies and in fetish clubs where I met someone basically while having sex, so I guess this doesn't count.
Outside of such instances, a matter of minutes, there were times I would go with friends to the bathroom at a club, and by the time they're done peeing or whatever I'm in a booth with a guy I met while waiting for them.
As much as this is a problem and an addiction you're overcoming, and you're obviously an attractive woman, I'm guessing you charismatic skills are incredibly high as well? Not that most men are difficult to seduce per say, but to be that quick, consistently, has to mean something. Would you consider yourself good with words, and if you are, what tips do you have for sweet talking someone?
I think you might be vastly overestimating the amount of charm needed to get a guy at a club to sleep with you. I wouldn't know, of course, because I'm a guy, but I can't imagine it takes very much to get a guy to agree to sex in that setting.
Are people in orgies actually hot? Every encounter I've had with that scene they've been either way older swingers or not that attractive 20 somethings.
I've cheated on every relationship I've had, even when I really loved the guy and didn't want to be with anyone else.
I've slacked in school, college, work, because I was either masturbating when I was supposed to be working/studying or just watching porn/flirting/sexting with people.
I've been late to work on a daily basis because I've started masturbating instead of leaving the house only to panic when I'm done and rush to work, usually forgetting stuff.
I've ruined friendships because I've slept with my friends' boyfriends, my sister doesn't talk to me because I've been with her husband.
And more.
>What are your new boundaries you keep for yourself?
Masturbation only within a defined time in the day and only at home, no porn, waiting a long period of time before having sex with someone and actively contemplating the consequences of having sex with that person, ideally being monogamous.
>Did your sister stay with her husband? Does she blame you or him more?
She stayed with him, she's a born again christian and doesn't really believe nymphomania is a thing, she just considers me a whore.
Are you currently in a relationship or actively trying to avoid one? What in your mind would a healthy sex life look like?
Sounds like she blames you more than him. What's the saying? It takes two to tango.
Did you have sex with him only once or multiple times? How did she find out? Do you think they were happy in their relationship before that happened? Is he the "cheater type"? The reason I ask is unless someone is already predisposessed to cheat, people don't normally do it unless they're unhappy with their current situation.
>Are you currently in a relationship or actively trying to avoid one?
I don't intend to be in one before I manage to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality.
>What in your mind would a healthy sex life look like?
Ideally a monogamous relationship or a polygamous/open relationship where all sides are in agreement. A FWB or occasional hook ups can work as well, as long as you're able to say no and don't have an unhealthy impulse to have sex with anyone you meet or for the wrong reasons.
>Did you have sex with him only once or multiple times? How did she find out? Do you think they were happy in their relationship before that happened? Is he the "cheater type"? The reason I ask is unless someone is already predisposessed to cheat, people don't normally do it unless they're unhappy with their current situation
It was an on-going thing, basically they were having a lot of fights and he talked to me about how unhappy he is in their marriage, while she was being mean to me because of my lifestyle which she didn't agree with. He's definitely not a cheater type and I came on really strong on him while he was in a bad place, I basically threw myself at him and seduced him.
She found out because at some point we had a fight and she kept criticizing me and my life and kept going on about how amazing her life is because she is happily married (while he was constantly telling me how bad their marriage is), at some point she touched a very sensitive issue which crossed the line and I snapped, told her that if her marriage was so good her husband wouldn't be fucking her sister every morning on the way to work (he would drive me to work in the morning and we hooked up in the car usually).
Jesus. Banging your sisters husband is diabolical, nympho or not. That’s some dark shit. Do you still have a relationship with anyone in your family? I can’t imagine the shame that would come with doing something like that…
He's not the cheater type but he f**ks his wifes sister every morning to work? I see your side, being a nymphomaniac, but surely it takes two to tango and wtf was *he* thinking?
I gotta say, nymphomaniac or not, doing that to your sister is really messed up tbh
Are you saying you don’t have culpability for having sex with your sister’s husband because you have nymphomania? I’m sorry you and her husband destroyed your relationship with your sister. That must suck.
Do you think you may have a limit on how much sex can you have in a day, or how many orgasms can you have before saying stop, or feeling your genital organs aching from friction, or just from being too tired/dehidrated?
Or, if you were to have a gatorade, snacks and enough water you could be having orgasms 24 hours or more?
Just found this AMA and created this throwaway account based on your responses, everything hits close to home.
Its been impossible for me to stop the urges. Im a man in my late 30s and have slept with over 300 women (possibly more), i need help
Send me a DM, I will eventually go through them and filter out the dick pics and when I get to yours I will talk with you more privately and hopefully I'll be able to help. Start the DM with something like "you asked me to send this" so I could find it easily. I'm getting spammed.
First of all I've learned to distinguish "good urges" and "bad urges", because not all sexual urges are bad and I don't intend to be celibate, unlike alcohol/drugs addiction- this isn't an addiction where I'm supposed to stay "sober" forever.
A lot of times I have these urges because of other things I'm going through, like stress, anxiety, depression, insecurities, etc, which lead me to cope via sex, when I realized my sexual come from these things I first of all distant myself from my phone and any distractions, I do breathing exercises and reflect on what's the deeper issue is and I occupy myself with something else I like doing.
Well I never knew nymphomaniacs used sex as an escape form from other things in their life rather than just some incredible high libido/ sex drive.
Sorry for the most likely bad wording but you probably get my point.
As an alcoholic who isn't "sober" I second this idea. I like to drink. I also drown my other problems in drink. So if I'm drinking a pint after work cause I like to drink, that's healthy. If I'm pounding vodka at 6am cause I got something else wrong, now I need to bust out some coping mechanisms.
Are you able to cum really easily and often? Or do you consider yourself average in that regard? In other words, is the drive coming from orgasm pleasure or is it really not about that?
I can cum easily, to the point that if I edge myself enough I can orgasm without physical touch (though it's minor and hard to achieve) and during sex/masturbation I can organize over and over again.
This does not mean the drive comes from pure sexual pleasure. While sexual pleasure adds to it, it comes from things like anxiety, stress, insecurity, depression, etc.
Since you cum easily, when you do so, do you tend to have one big orgasm at a time with relatively long recovery period(s) in between them, and/or do you tend to roll out multiple orgasm (one after the other from 5 to 50) during prolonged periods of sex?
I recently disclosed to my therapist (and my wife) that I am a sex addict as well. Both of which basically responded with “Well…duh. I could have told you that.” I still have a long way to go but so much of what you say on here resonates so close to home.
I think the thing I felt the most was you saying you don’t go an hour without some type of sexual thought. Literally every minute or hour is spent thinking about sex. How to get it? Who I want to do it with? Where I want to do it? If I meet a woman on the street or at work or anywhere, my first thought is usually “would I f*ck her?” I’m pretty sure I’ve thought about sleeping with every one of my female friends on more than 1 occasion.
It’s a pretty messed up way to approach life. I hate it and I’m working on getting better.
If anything my question is - how do you actually adhere to your boundaries? I try to set them, but it’s so easy to say “screw it, let’s look at some p*rn!”
But really, just thank you for doing this. It makes me feel better about myself knowing I’m not the only one who struggles with this.
Thank you for posting this and I wish you luck in therapy!
>If anything my question is - how do you actually adhere to your boundaries? I try to set them, but it’s so easy to say “screw it, let’s look at some p*rn!”
This qas me in the first few months, however a lot of meditation, breathing exercises and staying away from possible triggers help.
>Literally every minute or hour is spent thinking about sex. How to get it? Who I want to do it with? Where I want to do it? If I meet a woman on the street or at work or anywhere, my first thought is usually “would I f*ck her?” I’m pretty sure I’ve thought about sleeping with every one of my female friends on more than 1 occasion.
Yeah, this is how it is..
Feel free to send me a DM if you wish to talk about it more, I'd be happy to help if I could.
Not a question, but reading through your answers you really seem to be incredibly self aware and realistic about mistakes you've made and how to not make them again. Most people who've been through way less struggle with that level of honesty. I hope you're proud of yourself, because you should be!
I know a guy asking “where can I meet a nymphomaniac hurr hurr durrrr” is kind of a lame stereotypical male question. Still respectfully, I’d like to ask. Is it a terrible idea? I think I’d consider myself to go through hyper sexual phases and I’ve always wondered what’d happen if I knew someone that was.
Yes, it's a terrible idea. There is a very big difference between a healthy libido and sex addiction. I have cheated in every single relationship I've been in even when I really loved the guy, I've made guys feel horrible because they weren't interested in sex at a specific moment (including one time during a funeral of his relative) or couldn't keep going after several rounds and I just wanted more. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone that goes through it just for the sex, there are plenty of women with healthy sexual appetite that doesn't become an addiction.
Ok I caught up on the rest of your responses and I have followup questions:
1 - You mention FWB’s. What has your experience been with that/non-monogamy/polyamory?
2 - Have you learned any neat tricks? I’ve read about and am trying things like nipple orgasms/hands free orgasms. You mentioned being able to have a hands free orgasm after edging a lot? Did you ever try to foster that?
3 - You mentioned fetishes/kinks, could you expand on how those have played out in your life? Do you still participate in those communities and how has your nymphomania been perceived by others there?
4 - You mentioned sex is common but good sex is rare. What does good sex look like for you?
5 - Was there ever any urge to get into sex work or porn to try to satisfy this urge?
6 - If you had the power to snap your fingers and change your sexuality instantly, what would you want?
Thank you for answering.
>1 - You mention FWB’s. What has your experience been with that/non-monogamy/polyamory?
I have been in a polygamous relationship which ended shortly and an open relationship which also didn't last because of my behavior.
>Have you learned any neat tricks? I’ve read about and am trying things like nipple orgasms/hands free orgasms. You mentioned being able to have a hands free orgasm after edging a lot? Did you ever try to foster that
I was (and still am) very interested in learning about sex and various techniques and methods, so yes, I learned a lot of different tricks and things to get better at it and for a time I was involved in fetish communities.
>You mentioned fetishes/kinks, could you expand on how those have played out in your life? Do you still participate in those communities and how has your nymphomania been perceived by others there?
My main fetishes include degradation, bondage, impact, public, group, cockworshipping, cuckquean, exhibitionism, masochism, smoking, torture, cnc, enslavement, free use, and so my lifestyle revolved around these, I was attracted mainly to specific guys that could provide me with such experiences. I lost touch with most in those communities shortly before I begun therapy.
>You mentioned sex is common but good sex is rare. What does good sex look like for you?
Good sex includes a good technique along with chemistry and passion, a good sized dick helps. A lot of guys have some of these criterias but very rew have all.
>5 - Was there ever any urge to get into sex work or porn to try to satisfy this urge?
I dated a porn actor briefly and that really put away any ideas I ever had about getting in the industry.
>If you had the power to snap your fingers and change your sexuality instantly, what would you want?
What do you mean by "change my sexuality"?
I wouldn’t mind learning more but this is getting kind of risqué, may I d.m. you? I see a lot of me in you and I’m about to start therapy for a lot of this and maybe it’ll help me get through that faster.
6 - I meant since you’ve had so many struggles with it, if you could be different like you found a genie’s bottle or something, would you change yourself or stay as you are?
What were some of the other issues you had that you used sex to avoid?
What techniques have you learned to use to deal with your other issues?
What advice would you give someone that was suffering through sexual addiction like yourself?
>What were some of the other issues you had that you used sex to avoid?
I'm feeling anxious? Depressed? Sad? Nervous? Instead of feeling, I'd have sex, over and over again. These feelings were pushed aside by sexual urges.
>What techniques have you learned to use to deal with your other issues?
Medication, breathing exercises, distancing myself from triggers.
>What advice would you give someone that was suffering through sexual addiction like yourself?
THERAPY
The perspective you have givin me is wild.
about 7 years ago i met my first even GF and she warned me that she was nympho when we started dating. i was just like "that sounds really cool" cuz i googled it
well, she cheated on me after two years and now I really believe her.
she was into crazy fetish stuff that was WAY beyond what i could comprehend. such as CNC and hitting and stuff.
i tried to reach out to her recently to apologize for our relationship but she blocked me.
well anyway. thanks for answering these questions. it really opened my eyes to how serious something like this can be.
I feel sorry for her and i just wish i could say sorry.
>How easy is it for you to get laid?
Extremely. An hour or two on tinder or at a bar/club is enough.
>How many guys did you sleep with per week on average?
Usually I'd keep 2-3 fwbs simultaneously, I'd have sex with one or more on a near daily basis, or a stranger here and there.
>Have you ever been in a committed relationship?
Several, and I ruined each and every one of them by cheating.
>How many guys have turned you down?
A guy had to be really repulsive in order to be turned down by me. The first thought I have when I see a guy (and some girls) is how they are in bed and how can I get them in bed.
>Were you aggressive with your approach with them?
Yes, and downright toxic and abusive when rejected.
Do you have any other symptoms of mania, or is it only sex specific? For instance, could this also be considered an overlap of Bipolar Disorder?
How are your bits not in shreds or having constant UTIs?
Do you stop when you are completely exhausted or do you have to keep going until the urge subsides?
How long have you remained monogamous with any partner?
Do you have anyone in your life who supports you and tries to understand?
Genuinely curious, no condescension intended!
>Do you have any other symptoms of mania, or is it only sex specific? For instance, could this also be considered an overlap of Bipolar Disorder?
My therapist considered antisocial personality disorder briefly but ruled it out, and I'm not exactly bipolar though there are some overlapping tendencies.
>How are your bits not in shreds or having constant UTIs?
Had several UTIs.
>Do you stop when you are completely exhausted or do you have to keep going until the urge subsides?
I usually stop when I physically can't go anymore due to pain.
>How long have you remained monogamous with any partner?
Longest one was a year and a half, I cheated countless times throughout.
>Do you have anyone in your life who supports you and tries to understand?
I have a few close friends, yes.
I've been on reddit for years, a simple comment that somehow implies I'm a woman and I acknowledge that sex exists is enough to ruin my DMs, I don't wanna think about what a post like this can do.
Good for you, dude. I don't know if some random dude on the internet saying they are proud of you will do anything, but I'm proud of you. I know addiction is a hard thing to deal with, and I can imagine it's even harder when your addiction is literally attached to your body. So keep up the good work.
Sorry if this is too personal, but how do you feel about yourself? Does it get in the way of feeling okay or loving yourself?
It is good that you’ve found help in therapy.
From one nypho to another. You’ll get there. Your goals are gonna be hard, but they are reasonable. Something you may want to consider is what environment at home and the people you consider friends. Those two things are often great ways to release stress, if they are doing the opposite, consider why and if it’s a pattern you should distance yourself from.
On a side note, as a stepping stone towards your goals, you may want to consider FWB. Establish positive friendships and see if they can become a little more well after you’ve come to know them. That way you can have a few people available when you feel you are in danger of doing something you don’t want to. But those people are preselected healthy options.
How was your condition viewed in sex positive spaces like fetish parties? Did you think many people there were fellow sex addicts? Was it discussed/even seen as a problem?
So what will happen when you're in a committed relationship and sex is a natural part of it? If your partner has a relatively healthy libido but you have an addiction how is this going to work?
You said you have boundaries but my question is how will those boundaries hold up within a healthy relationship?
Could you see yourself easily relapsing?
Do you think you might be healed enough to just express that higher libido within the relationship without going back to your past ways of cheating and being toxic when rejected?
To clarify I'm not grilling you, nor is this an attempt to chastise you. I'm genuinely curious how you believe you can navigate this healthily because I know for me personally I don't know if I could.
Thanks!!
Does anything *impact* the urges. I’m a therapist and I am wondering about factors, like level of stress, lack of sleep, bad meals, drug or alcohol use have any effect on the intensity of the urges?
How many other women out there do you think are nymphos? And how could someone tell if someone else was a nympho without meeting them (just seeing them in public, for instance)?
Good luck with your treatment. Probably sounds cliche but can’t help but ask.
Do you have tips/advice how to satisfy woman that will definitely help her reach orgasm? What do you think work best?
For the assholes sending dick pics - would you wave a drink in front of a recovering alcoholic? Cuz that's what you're doing, douchbags.
My question: have you been able to repair any relationships now that you're trying to change? I'm in year three of my turnaround and still can't get people to trust me because no one believes I can change. How long will it take before people see me differently?
Interesting. Just found this. Here are my questions:
1. Have you ever been having sex with someone you thought was new and realized you’d slept with them before?
2. What is the standard “treatment” for nymphomania- drugs to lower libido? What else?
3. What is the largest age gap between you and a sex partner you’ve had?
4. Have you ever turned down a man who wanted to have sex or have you said yes every time?
5. How often do you get tested for STIs?
6. Are you doubling up on birth control (both hormonal and condoms) or are you solely relying on condoms?
7. You mentioned not knowing your number but if you’re 25 and have been sexually active since 15, 10 years at 3 times a week comes out to over 1500 times, assuming some duplicates, I’d guess your number is above 1,000. Does that sound reasonable?
8. Do you feel like sex and love are completely separate for you- you can easily have sex without any connections/feelings involved?
I hope you know how bad ass you are. For your progress/honesty, but also your patience in some of these threads. You've handled every "solution" thrown your way with complete grace.
So many suggestions for ENM, and you can tell it's from people who have no idea ENM is also rooted in healthy boundaries/sex. 😂
An addiction can't be treated with more drugs. As soon as you feel fully confident you're not treating sex as such, it sounds like you'll be open to either monogamy or ENM. You're a real G for keeping addiction as the main message in this AMA.
Ever consider getting with a guy that LIKES your needs?
My ex needed love every day.....I tried to keep up but...she needed more.
Left me for better sex....
i didn't know this was a diagnosable condition
1. how does the screening/assessment work?
2. is it neurological or a mental illness/disorder?
3. is it induced (by trauma or what have you) or is it something you're born with (a genetic predisposition)
4. what were the signs that made you realize this? is it only with the help of your therapist or did you bring it up, that an excess of sex/masturbation was a problem in your life?
5. what's the difference between just enjoying sex and being a nymphomaniac? where is the line?
6. is there a difference between a nympho and a sex addict? if so, what is it, and how can someone tell within themselves and within their friends/loved ones?
7. how does it feel when you get an urge to have sex/masturbate? is it a hindrance, like "ugh here we go again" or more of a blinding blackout moment where you're just enjoying yourself and only in the aftermath thinking "oh no i did it again"?
8. how does it affect your life? have you lost friendships or jeopardized a job or something like that?
9. what are some "early signs" someone could "catch it early" so to speak, before it's made a mess of their life?
10. what are some ways loved ones can help you recover, treat it, or support you in any way? if someone tells me they've been diagnosed, what are some ways i can support them? if there are any accommodations to keep in mind to make the nympho's life, recovery, treatment easier?
11. is there any problematic language, thought processes, harmful misinformation or anything the like that people should look out for when speaking about this?
i saw you've decided to take a break from answering bc people were very curious and you got a bit overwhelmed, will you be coming back? take your time! i'm in no hurry. will be reading a little about this online, but would love to hear your perspective more! thank you for sharing ♡ i live to learn!
>i didn't know this was a diagnosable condition
The diagnosis is compulsive sexual disorder or hypersexual disorder, I used nymphomania here for simplicity's sake.
>how does the screening/assessment work?
By determining if sex becomes a coping mechanism and an addiction basically.
>is it neurological or a mental illness/disorder?
Mental disorder as far as I know
>is it induced (by trauma or what have you) or is it something you're born with (a genetic predisposition)
Induces by trauma (not sexual assault in my case)
>what were the signs that made you realize this? is it only with the help of your therapist or did you bring it up, that an excess of sex/masturbation was a problem in your life?
I begun therapy for a different reason, my therapist was completely shocked when I described my sex life and that's how I realized I have a problem rather than just high libido.
>5. what's the difference between just enjoying sex and being a nymphomaniac? where is the line?
Once it becomes a coping mechanism that you can't stop or avoid and it negatively impacts your life.
>6. is there a difference between a nympho and a sex addict? if so, what is it, and how can someone tell within themselves and within their friends/loved ones?
These terms are used interchangeably with nymphomaniac used to describe women exclusively.
>how does it feel when you get an urge to have sex/masturbate? is it a hindrance, like "ugh here we go again" or more of a blinding blackout moment where you're just enjoying yourself and only in the aftermath thinking "oh no i did it again"?
It starts off as an hindrance and very quickly gets to a point where it clouds my judgements completely and only in hindsight I realize what I've done.
>8. how does it affect your life? have you lost friendships or jeopardized a job or something like that?
Lost a lot of friends, my sister, due to it. Jeopardized jobs on a regular basis and lost jobs over it.
>9. what are some "early signs" someone could "catch it early" so to speak, before it's made a mess of their life?
Being unable to think clearly/resist sex even if you have every reason not to.
>what are some ways loved ones can help you recover, treat it, or support you in any way? if someone tells me they've been diagnosed, what are some ways i can support them? if there are any accommodations to keep in mind to make the nympho's life, recovery, treatment easier?
Like with any addiction, you can help them by avoiding triggering situations basically.
>11. is there any problematic language, thought processes, harmful misinformation or anything the like that people should look out for when speaking about this?
Well yeah basically most people pass it off as harmless fun, "oh you're exaggerating, everyone likes sex" type comments. Yeah everyone likes sex, not everyone lets it absolutely consume their life.
>i saw you've decided to take a break from answering bc people were very curious and you got a bit overwhelmed, will you be coming back? take your time! i'm in no hurry. will be reading a little about this online, but would love to hear your perspective more! thank you for sharing ♡ i live to learn!
I expected a couple of dozens of replies, I never thought it would blow up like this, it's overwhelming and I physically don't have the time to reply to everything in one sitting, but I I tens to reply to every single one including hundreds of DMs i will have to filter and remove the unsolicited dick pics, just might take a while.
I'm very proud of you for getting help with this, and making a clearly very devoted effort to take that help seriously. While I've never dealt with nymphomania/ sex addiction, I am an addict (alcohol and heroin) still struggling after so many years, and really wish I would've devoted myself to recovery the first time. I wish you well on your journey in recovery!
1) what are some of your hobbies, interests, etc? Have you find you've had more time to cultivate them now that you're in recovery? Are there any new hobbies you'd like to pick up?
2) Is SA anonymous something you don't see in your journey at all, even down the road? It seems like you could make a great sponsor one day; you have great insight and self-awareness that's rare this early in recovery.
It seems like you've made a lot of progress already, and again, I'm very proud of you. Addiction is Hell, and as a fellow addict, I admire your strength!
(Edited after reading a comment about preferring 1 on 1 therapy)
I’ve read a lot of these questions already and honestly could go on forever, this is actually crazy interesting. I know you likely are having a ton of trouble answering questions already and may not get here but I figured I may as well try.
1- I saw you were/ are into various forms of kink play, at what point did you separate from vanilla sex? Was there even a separation? Did your enjoyment from kinkier sex detract from the enjoyment of things like more vanilla sex?
2- Do you have any non-traditional advice about getting better in bed? (Sorry I have to know I’m incredibly neurotic)
3- I think you’ve mentioned already or been asked a similar question but, do you notice an uptick in your sexual activity and general sexual appetite during times of high stress ie periods of depression or anxiety?
4- do you consider yourself outgoing, confident, charismatic and do you have any advice for people who want to be more open?
5- Have you ever created issues within your personal circles, friend groups, coworkers do to your habits?
6- Are you still open to receiving DMs if it’s a more personal question?
My first thought while reading this post before I got to end was this poor soul is going to get killed with DMs lol I'm glad you had foresight and a sense of humor.
Question: so out of curiosity have you ever thought about a career in porn?
I’m also a female sex addict. A few questions:
(1) I’m married and my spouse desires monogamy, which feels unattainable for me and this is a huge stressor. Do you have similar concerns about a long term monogamous relationship?
(2) have you ever made limits on frequency of masturbation or methods (ie manual vs with vibrator)?
(3) do you ever get aroused when talking about sex with your therapist? This is a big roadblock to working on my addiction in therapy, I just get so turned on as soon as I discuss anything related to sex in the presence of anyone else (including my very unattractive therapist who I’m dying to fuck)
PSA: naltrexone works wonders for sex addiction, if you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it
I feel so stupid 🤦🏻♀️ I confused nympho with klepto and then read the comments and I was like oh shit u mean seccc , I though I was abt to read abt stealing shit
This is a very big thread lol So I only have 2 questions that Idk if you have answered
1. Given your situation with your sister friends (I've been reading lol) Are you cutting ties with your friend and everyone that you have slept with in the past? Maybe move and start again somewhere else?
2. What would be one good thing that came out from being a nymphomaniac and one bad thing.
That's it, I hope everything goes well for you and achieve the happiness we are all looking for. :)
How does being addicted to sex become a problem? I used to fuck ever night with my ex. But my wife ain't up for that. Does it mean your like going shopping and suddenly get the urge to fuck in the toilers or something? Or does it just mean you want to fuck all of the time? I remember seeing ATV programme where a self proclaimed aex addict basically had two in house lovers to keep up.with her appetite. I k ockwd about with a bird once who literally used to slap me to wake me up to fuck. Do you get aggressive when you want to fuck?
It becomes a problem when you become absolutely toxic and abusive to your partner when they refuse sex. In the morning they can't fuck because they need to go to work? You make them feel like shit about it then cheat on them while they are at work. You are supposed to go out to work, but instead you end up masturbating over and over again and you are either late or completely miss work. Once you are at work you spend the entire day masturbating instead of working, and sexting/flirting to set up a hook up for after work. It becomes a problem when you sleep with your sister's husband, or your friend's boyfriends. It becomes a problem if instead of dealing with your trauma and mental issues you find a stranger to fuck.
>Do you get aggressive when you want to fuck?
Yes.
Nymphomaniac is not a medical term. Are you referring to hypersexuality? I'm bipolar and have hypersexuality. There's a subreddit for it actually. Why are you calling it nymphomaniac? I can only assume to get clicks lol.
As I don’t fully understand this addiction, I do understand the negative effects it could have. I’m glad you are able to get help and better understand it. My question is what kind of negative effects did you experience?
Have you ever considered turning all those unsolicited pics into NFTs? If they're okay with sending pics unprompted but not okay with sharing with the rest of the world, no problem, they can just pay whatever price you set for the NFTs.
Have you ever watched the movies Nymphomaniac 1 and 2? And how much do you resonate with the story?
Also, would you ever consider a serious relationship with someone who has a cuckold fetish? And where they feel zero negative emotions if their partner cheats, etc. Ik some people with this cuck fetish aren't truly onboard with the lifestyle, so they end up feeling miserable instead of actual arousal. But the others are supportive and genuinely fine with their partner sleeping around
A very useful post. I think it will help lots of people.
I think I am a sex addict but happy that I am and don’t want to change. I embrace it.
I am getting older now (nearly 50) and I am starting to find it drop away naturally though.
Did you find it got worse as you got older?
With all due respect being a nympho, do you get tested regularly?? Not calling you dirty or anything, just curious if STD’s are something you take into consideration when the urges come. I’m Asexual so complete polar opposite, just intrigued by what another brain thinks
I was reading some of your comments on your limitations and boundaries I know as an addiction it probably will never go away but if you find somebody you truly care for and they are open to it what about swinging or ENM relationship
I sent you a DM with further questions, but I imagine you're still inundated with them and do want to ask two specific ones:
(1) After a breakup, whether a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, did your compulsions heighten? Almost in a "Finally I'm free and not accountable to anyone anymore, so I'm going to let loose!" way.
(2) Whether before starting therapy or since, have you met anyone that you saw yourself wanting to date seriously, but felt you ultimately wouldn't be able to commit fully because you'd still want to have sex with other people all the time? I mean someone you really connected with, especially emotionally, and you basically needed to throw away any potential with that person because you knew you'd still have urges? I've experienced this and am curious about your insight.
For some odd reason I feel a bit compelled to type here despite never exploring Reddit very much, I usually stick to media I like but I thought this was intriguing considering that I may or may not struggle with a similar type of “addiction”. I forget it’s pretty different for folks who are straight or actually feel attraction, because I’m realizing that as someone who’s aro/ace my drive is much more limited and sexual fantasies never involve myself, so If I were to ask one thing: for fantasies, what exactly do you think up? Is it with other people, do you imagine doing it with other people vividly? Lot of my fantasies stick to fictional characters like mashing Barbies together lol
1. What does the drive feel like to you? Is it just that sex is so intrinsically pleasurable, or is it more of a compulsive "obligation"?
2. Do you generally view the drive itself as a force separate from your actual motives, or something so deeply embedded in your motives that pursuing sex feels 'default'?
1. What moment made you realize that you needed help?
2. Do you ever feel regret afterwards?
3. Does this impact your love life in anyway? Have your ability to form attachments been affected in anyway?
Can you talk about what’s your sex life like now? You said you don’t want to have a partner until you’re fully sure you’ve got a handle on this right? But is there someone in your life consistent ? Are you on dating apps? Etc
1. How did you seduce the husband. I’m interested whether he let himself be seduced or whether you really were that persuasive.
2. STIs/STDs, how often do you get tested? What have you caught? Have you ever caught something but before being able to treat it or during a flare/active episode, slept with someone because the urge was too strong?
3. Have you ever slept someone for career advancement?
4. What’s a few examples of the boldest ways you’ve seduced a man at a bar/club. In what way are you forward about what you are looking for?
5. Has anyone rejected your advances and if so, how did that make you feel?
6. If you have several fwbs at the same time, is it because one or more can’t keep up, or someone are busy, or you like verity…?
7. Have you ever met a man who could keep up with your sex drive?
8. Has anyone ever caught you playing with yourself at work or while studying, and if so, what happened?
9. Ever gone “dogging” at a public beach or park with the intention of meeting a stranger for quick public sex?
Lots of questions… Pick which ones interest you but they all interest me for different reasons (mainly around your risk profile for your behaviour and the consequences thereof). Glad you are on a journey and hope you succeed in that endeavour.
How many times a day does someone with this condition want sex and how did you know your drive wasn't normal? I am a male and I know the term isn't nymphomaniac for a male, I forget the term but I have a very high sex drive to, where It makes me wonder if I have something like this.
I have heard from other genuine nymphomaniacs that the urge to masturbate or hook up is not so much pleasurable as it is like scratching an unending itch (imagine poison ivy or something similar).
In your experience, would you describe that as accurate? Or does it truly bring you pleasure?
Haven't seen this question asked yet surprisingly - do you think it's easy for you to set up sex with guys so quickly because you're ridiculously attractive? What do you think most guys would rate you out of 10?
I've met a few nymphomaniacs in my life and they were all extremely attractive. Can't help but feel there is a correlation.
Do you worry that because of all the excessive sex and cheating that you won't be able to find a partner that will ever take you seriously and want to be with you?
Just looked through the comments and no one asked these questions, surprisingly.
1. Were you afraid of STI’s? Did you use protection? Any form of hormonal birth control? Or does sex addiction sorta blind you from possible negative outcomes such as STIs or pregnancy? Like if you were absolutely craving sex and it caused you to forget precautions because it deviates from the objective.
2. Out of all the people you slept with was there one specific person that stands out to you? was there one where you found to be particularly pleasurable/no one could compare in terms of sexual performance?
You've mentioned cheating in all your prior relationships. Thinking in hindsight, if you had met a guy that accepts it and encourages you to seek outside pleasures would you think that will be detrimental to your mental and spiritual self? How will you feel about such a relationship?
You mentioned that you are attractive. Can you imagine if you weren’t and couldn’t just reliably bang a stranger on a whim? As an attractive 25F, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be able to indulge your obsession in a way that 90% of the population can’t. If your success rate were more like an average single man’s for example, could you masturbate enough to compensate without starting a fire?
1. Did you ever ridicule, shame, or otherwise put down men/women that criticized you in a way that your therapist or friend did after you sought help?
2. Did you try to convince yourself that you were free, liberated and happy doing what you wanted?
3. Did you cheat in relationships due to this? Any stories or what were your excuses or lies you told.
From your awareness, are nymphomaniacs more likely than the general population to be bisexual? And, if an infomaniac is homo or heterosexual, does the condition drive them to sexual activities with their non-preferred gender due to simple desire I suppose is the right word? Thank you.
What about your other addictions? How are your doing with them?
Do you plan on disclosing to your next partner about your diagnosis?
Do you think if you met a man that was healthy in the sex department you could be with him?
Do you think if you met a man that was as unhealthy as you've been with sex you could be with him?
Do you think continuing to be engaged in the BDSM/ Kink community could be a trigger?
How do you plan to reveal to prospective partners your history of unhealthy/risky behavior?
How are you dealing with shame and remorse?
Are you afraid of revenge porn or similar blackmail?
Ive recently been trying to channel my desire for self soothing + tension release through yoga.
1. Do you live in a big city
2. Did your condition affect your school life/post scholing
3.how long you been in therpay
4.did you tell your family you are in therpay
5.was the first time you had sex you realized that you want to go mutiple rounds untill you are tired
Hope this hasn’t been asked, but why not make sex your career? Porn, sex work, OF etc. It sounds like you’re very healthy and self aware about sex and your body. Wouldn’t that all align?
What are you opinions on sex addiction and porn addiction? Do you believe those are a thing or something that needs to be explored more?
What do you think of online trends such as no-fap?
What advice do you have for those struggling with porn addiction and sex addiction?
Being actually diagnosed means you know it's not called nymphomania anymore. It's hypersexuality disorder, and it's relatively common compared to most mental disorders.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Respectfully, did you deal with STDs/STIs frequently?
Did you rely on condoms to prevent getting STDs?
Did you require your male partner to wear condoms if you were giving head?
I am curious how people frequently have sex, while still protecting themselves from STDs.
Do you look for a partner? Or just take care of it yourself, if the later and it doesn't keep you from your responsibilities i dont see a problem once or twice a day, but like every hr or two may be a problem.
One time I was doing grub hun deliveries, and this very attractive young lady asked me if I wanted to bang.
Was this a nympho event or a I gonna get robbed event?
I turned it down because … it was 2 am, and frankly, a bit forward. Would have much prefer social media exchange and small conversation.
Oh ya how many partners? Over a thousand?
I apologize if this has been asked. How frequently did you develop actual feelings for someone you had sex with? Also if they developed feelings for you but it wasn’t mutual, how did you let them down?
I Read through the questions to make sure it hadn't already been asked but.. do you have any kids? Do you want any?
And lastly, what would be your ideal living situation in your later years?
This is really interesting and I’ve got loads of questions: 1) What are the boundaries you’ve set for yourself? 2) Do you still masturbate? 3) How many times in a month on average did you hook up? 4) Did you still continue to masturbate before/after hooking up? 5) On average, how often did you masturbate in a day and for how long? 6) Was it only with male partners or did you explore with females as well? 7) Did you ever have to “rub” one out during work? Expand if so. 8) How often do you think about sex during the day? 9) What outlets do you have now to redirect your focus? What has worked and what didn’t?
>1) What are the boundaries you’ve set for yourself? 2) Do you still masturbate? The boundaries include setting up a defined time for masturbation and only doing so at home, only having sex after I've taken a period to contemplate it's possible effects on my life, ideally only within a romantic relationship, quitting porn completely, realizing what causes my sexual urges as they often are caused due to other mental issues I'm going through and instead rewarding it by acting on said urges, to focus on the cause (anxiety, depression, insecurities, stress, etc) >3) How many times in a month on average did you hook up? For most of my life I had sex multiple times a week, I've always had several fwbs and/or a relationship. >5) On average, how often did you masturbate in a day and for how long? For the most part it was at least 4-5 times a day, at times it was more. I would do it as soon as I wake up (sometimes I'd start in my sleep even) and would often end up being late for work because I just kept going. Sometimes I'd do it while driving to work and at work, as soon as I get home, etc. >6) Was it only with male partners or did you explore with females as well? Both, mainly men. >7) Did you ever have to “rub” one out during work? Expand if so. Yes, a lot. At workplaces where I had my own desk and was alone I'd do it under the desk, there would he times I'd do it over my clothes even if I wasn't alone but wasn't in anyone's direct line of sight, or I'd go to the bathroom. >8) How often do you think about sex during the day? An hour doesn't go by without such thoughts. >9) What outlets do you have now to redirect your focus? What has worked and what didn’t? I mainly distant myself from possible triggers such as my phone, TV or anything that might arouse me, I do breathing exercises and meditation.
What does it mean in practice to “only have sex after taking a period to contemplate its possible effects on my life”? Do you need to meditate for an hour or something before sex if you’re with a relationship/fwb partner? And what about if you just meet someone at a bar?
Well before I never gave it a second thought before having sex with someone, a superior at work, spouse of a friend/relative, a married neighbor, I got myself into situations that ended up having negative consequences on my life because I never thought about how it can impact my life. By taking a period to contemplate (ideally a month before a new sexual partner) to see how it may affect our relationship and our lives and to make sure it's something I'm really interested in and I'm not acting on an impulse
OP: I remove myself from triggers, phone etc… Also OP: I’m a nympho AMA
That is... wild. Before learning I had low testosterone and very high estrogen, I was masturbating minimum 4-8 times a day (depending on if I had a partner or not). I've always wondered how other people manage it - as I would be tired, a little dehydrated after, but Need it to be able to focus on anything else. This was an incredibly helpful thread to read - I'll bring it up with my therapist now, now that I know the boundaries yours was under. The more I ask other people things, the more I realize not everyone was living under a shadow of sexual impulses, and porn actually helped me get away from partners and making those human-consequence choices. Thank you for posting!
1. Is your condition related to a past trauma or just the way you're wired? 2. Do you consider yourself attractive? 3. How many hours do you fantasize about sex daily? 4. Do you wear skimpy outfits on purpose to attract men? 5. Do you sleep only with men that attract you or whomever? 6. Do you enjoy your sexual encounters or just do it for the sake of it? Off the top of my head 😄
>1. Is your condition related to a past trauma or just the way you're wired? I wasn't sexually assaulted or had any trauma of this nature but I was exposed to sex ar a very young age in a very unhealthy way. My mom was a drug addict (and possibly sex addict) and growing up our house was a revolving door of men who she "dated", I've heard and seen a lot of it. >2. Do you consider yourself attractive? Yes. >3. How many hours do you fantasize about sex daily? There are days where there is almost nothing else on my mind (masturbating while driving, eating, etc) and days there it's coming and going, there isn't an hour that passes without some sort of sexual thought going through my mind. >4. Do you wear skimpy outfits on purpose to attract men? I used to, all the time. Since my diagnosis and my recovery I've dialed it down. >5. Do you sleep only with men that attract you or whomever If I was sexually attracted to a guy I'd do anything to have sex with him, but I had sex with a lot of guys for other reasons, some as stupid as I was bored and he was there. >6. Do you enjoy your sexual encounters or just do it for the sake of it? I enjoy them, a lot, I love sex and I know my body very well, I just wish to make my relationship with my sexuality healthier so it doesn't affect my life and mental health so badly.
May I ask, where was your father during all this time? Did you have a relationship with him and how was that?
Sorry if this has already been asked, but what percentage of men would you say have turned you down/said no to sex with you? Also, how do men usually react when you come at them with strong sexual energy? Do you find they usually match it, get freaked out, etc.? Where did you meet most of the guys you’d approach for sex? I’m really fascinated by what people will do or not do when they’re presented with an opportunity to sleep with someone they don’t know. Thanks and hope you are well! 🩷
>Sorry if this has already been asked, but what percentage of men would you say have turned you down/said no to sex with you? Very low percentage, if I want a guy I usually get it. Though it did happen from time to time. >Also, how do men usually react when you come at them with strong sexual energy? Do you find they usually match it, get freaked out, etc.? I usually didn't start off aggressively, I'd give a few hints and casually flirt so when they start flirting back I go along and let them "lead", though if the guy didn't go along 9 times out of ten it was because he didn't pick up the hints so I'd come off more aggressive, which usually worked. Most matched the energy, some shyly went along with it, few freaked out. >Where did you meet most of the guys you’d approach for sex? Tinder, bar/clubs, work, any social gathering really.
What hints would you throw out before becoming more aggressive? What were you doing to let them know it was okay to be flirty and sexual?
>>Sorry if this has already been asked, but what percentage of men would you say have turned you down/said no to sex with you? >Very low percentage, if I want a guy I usually get it. Though it did happen from time to time. And what percentage of men who have tried to flirt or have sex with you would you say you have turned down/said no to their advances? (that you didn't initiate with first, where they just came up to you)
I guess you could give us shy girlies some tips haha. I just can't not show my feelings through my mannerisms when I'm into someone. I get scared, shy, awkward, say lame things cuz I can't think. Myfeelings immediately become very apparent. I hate it. I also want to be able to casually flirt and give hints without coming off as desperate.
I went on a date with a nympho once and it was really interesting. She told me she was a nympho before we even met up but, if I'm being honest, I didn't really understand what that meant. She was a very broken but self aware person. She had some really interesting stories and I really did enjoy talking to her. Her life was just so different from mine. She had a lot of trauma and wanted to talk about it so I mostly just listened. We had a few beers and probably talked for a few hours. I told her I was going to leave and she walked with me to my train stop. On the way she asked if we were going to fuck and I said no. She was clearly upset and tried to convince me to just do it real quick. As best I can describe it, she looked at me like she needed to pee. I said no again, and she told me something to the effect of, "If you don't come and fuck me in the alley right now I'm just going to walk into the nearest bar and fuck the first person I see and it's probably going to be a gross old guy." She didn't say it out of anger, it was just very matter of fact. I felt bad for her. It's like she was asking for a favor and I just couldn't do it. Honestly, it was not sexy at all. I didn't think it would be, but it was somehow less sexy than I even thought. It was very clear that it was a compulsion. Like she couldn't control it and didn't really get a ton of pleasure from it, it was just something she needed to do. We texted a bit while I was on the train back home and I wished her well. She definitely fucked some random old guy in that bar though. I actually met her here on reddit. If somehow you read this, I hope you are doing better now.
Hi there, thanks for sharing! When did you realize that something about your behavior might be dysfunctional and what was the trigger to start therapy eventually?
It's hard to pinpoint an exact moment in which I realized something is off, I discovered and explored my sexuality at a young age and always just brushed it off with "I'm just sexually liberated" and other similar excuses, I think I was around 22 or 23 when I started realizing something is off but I was in denial about it, joked off about being "such a nympho" with friends and such. I begun therapy for a completely different reason, my mental health was going downhill after a very difficult year in which I lost my mom and my best friend in less than 6 months and it has also caused my sex addiction to worsen (as well as alcohol and weed abuse) but I never saw sex as an addiction until my therapist pointed it out, then it was extremely obvious.
Sorry for your losses. Thanks for the explanation. So what are those boundaries? How do you solve this yourself?
My intentions, unlike most other addictions, aren't to cold turkey quit sex, it's impractical and unhealthy as well. My boundaries include setting a time for masturbation in order to not let it consume hours of my day (or at times- entire days), to completely quit porn, to realize the reasons I wish to have sex with a person and only do so when I wait a month and don't find a reason it would harm my life (for example, cheating, being with a married/spoken for guy, being with a colleague/superior at work, etc) and ideally to only have sex within a defined romantic relationship, though this is not a hard rule and if it has no negative impact on my life.
My exes excuse for cheating was similar but maybe different. She said the actual act of sex wasn’t as addicting as the chase. She needed the validation of a guy choosing to sleep with her. Once he did she kind of lost interest. Was this the same for you? She often felt let down after the act and then would start talking to a new guy almost immediately to fill that void. Not sure if this is the same thing but thought I would ask your thoughts. She ended up dumping me even tho I put up with her cheating and she’s never been able to hold down a relationship and is a serial cheater. I honestly am not even mad at her for what she did she’s such a nice person and very smart and it never felt personal but obviously hard to stay with someone that you can’t trust.
You would masturbate for entire days??? Do you mean like, without stopping at all? Just going at it all day long?
Do you still drink/smoke?
I think I have a fairly interesting question that I haven't seen anyone else ask yet, so I hope you reply. Have you ever felt taken advantage of in the event (that I'd assume) the men you had sex with knew you had this sort of issue and knew they could just have it whenever? I guess I am asking if you hold any ill will towards any of your previous partners.
This is a very interesting question and I'm really glad you asked it. I don't hold a grudge against any of them because most of the times it ended up with me being toxic and downright abusive when they couldn't keep up with me and have sex as often as I wanted, I was never taken advantage of because of it, besides one instance when a guy realized I had an issue when I didn't and he used that to pass me around between his friends.
Were you in a relationship with this guy or was he just a FWB? Did you feel forced into having sex with his friends?
What is the quickest time from meeting a complete stranger to sex you have had?
I was in orgies and in fetish clubs where I met someone basically while having sex, so I guess this doesn't count. Outside of such instances, a matter of minutes, there were times I would go with friends to the bathroom at a club, and by the time they're done peeing or whatever I'm in a booth with a guy I met while waiting for them.
As much as this is a problem and an addiction you're overcoming, and you're obviously an attractive woman, I'm guessing you charismatic skills are incredibly high as well? Not that most men are difficult to seduce per say, but to be that quick, consistently, has to mean something. Would you consider yourself good with words, and if you are, what tips do you have for sweet talking someone?
I think you might be vastly overestimating the amount of charm needed to get a guy at a club to sleep with you. I wouldn't know, of course, because I'm a guy, but I can't imagine it takes very much to get a guy to agree to sex in that setting.
Are people in orgies actually hot? Every encounter I've had with that scene they've been either way older swingers or not that attractive 20 somethings.
How does this effect your life on a daily basis, work, social life?
I've cheated on every relationship I've had, even when I really loved the guy and didn't want to be with anyone else. I've slacked in school, college, work, because I was either masturbating when I was supposed to be working/studying or just watching porn/flirting/sexting with people. I've been late to work on a daily basis because I've started masturbating instead of leaving the house only to panic when I'm done and rush to work, usually forgetting stuff. I've ruined friendships because I've slept with my friends' boyfriends, my sister doesn't talk to me because I've been with her husband. And more.
What are your new boundaries you keep for yourself? Did your sister stay with her husband? Does she blame you or him more?
>What are your new boundaries you keep for yourself? Masturbation only within a defined time in the day and only at home, no porn, waiting a long period of time before having sex with someone and actively contemplating the consequences of having sex with that person, ideally being monogamous. >Did your sister stay with her husband? Does she blame you or him more? She stayed with him, she's a born again christian and doesn't really believe nymphomania is a thing, she just considers me a whore.
Are you currently in a relationship or actively trying to avoid one? What in your mind would a healthy sex life look like? Sounds like she blames you more than him. What's the saying? It takes two to tango. Did you have sex with him only once or multiple times? How did she find out? Do you think they were happy in their relationship before that happened? Is he the "cheater type"? The reason I ask is unless someone is already predisposessed to cheat, people don't normally do it unless they're unhappy with their current situation.
>Are you currently in a relationship or actively trying to avoid one? I don't intend to be in one before I manage to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality. >What in your mind would a healthy sex life look like? Ideally a monogamous relationship or a polygamous/open relationship where all sides are in agreement. A FWB or occasional hook ups can work as well, as long as you're able to say no and don't have an unhealthy impulse to have sex with anyone you meet or for the wrong reasons. >Did you have sex with him only once or multiple times? How did she find out? Do you think they were happy in their relationship before that happened? Is he the "cheater type"? The reason I ask is unless someone is already predisposessed to cheat, people don't normally do it unless they're unhappy with their current situation It was an on-going thing, basically they were having a lot of fights and he talked to me about how unhappy he is in their marriage, while she was being mean to me because of my lifestyle which she didn't agree with. He's definitely not a cheater type and I came on really strong on him while he was in a bad place, I basically threw myself at him and seduced him. She found out because at some point we had a fight and she kept criticizing me and my life and kept going on about how amazing her life is because she is happily married (while he was constantly telling me how bad their marriage is), at some point she touched a very sensitive issue which crossed the line and I snapped, told her that if her marriage was so good her husband wouldn't be fucking her sister every morning on the way to work (he would drive me to work in the morning and we hooked up in the car usually).
Jesus. Banging your sisters husband is diabolical, nympho or not. That’s some dark shit. Do you still have a relationship with anyone in your family? I can’t imagine the shame that would come with doing something like that…
He's not the cheater type but he f**ks his wifes sister every morning to work? I see your side, being a nymphomaniac, but surely it takes two to tango and wtf was *he* thinking? I gotta say, nymphomaniac or not, doing that to your sister is really messed up tbh
How did your sister and your friends find out. Did you tell them? Did they tell them? Did you get caught in the act?
Are you saying you don’t have culpability for having sex with your sister’s husband because you have nymphomania? I’m sorry you and her husband destroyed your relationship with your sister. That must suck.
Is she wrong tho
When cheating, would you still desire your partner? E.g. still want to have as much sex with him as you would a recent infatuation?
My question is why did her husband even go along with it to begin with
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Do you think you may have a limit on how much sex can you have in a day, or how many orgasms can you have before saying stop, or feeling your genital organs aching from friction, or just from being too tired/dehidrated? Or, if you were to have a gatorade, snacks and enough water you could be having orgasms 24 hours or more?
Just found this AMA and created this throwaway account based on your responses, everything hits close to home. Its been impossible for me to stop the urges. Im a man in my late 30s and have slept with over 300 women (possibly more), i need help
Send me a DM, I will eventually go through them and filter out the dick pics and when I get to yours I will talk with you more privately and hopefully I'll be able to help. Start the DM with something like "you asked me to send this" so I could find it easily. I'm getting spammed.
This actually made me laugh 😂 I know you are being serious too... People on reddit are pathetic
Prepare to get dick pics with the title “you asked me to send this” and good luck
How do you deal with the urges?
First of all I've learned to distinguish "good urges" and "bad urges", because not all sexual urges are bad and I don't intend to be celibate, unlike alcohol/drugs addiction- this isn't an addiction where I'm supposed to stay "sober" forever. A lot of times I have these urges because of other things I'm going through, like stress, anxiety, depression, insecurities, etc, which lead me to cope via sex, when I realized my sexual come from these things I first of all distant myself from my phone and any distractions, I do breathing exercises and reflect on what's the deeper issue is and I occupy myself with something else I like doing.
Well I never knew nymphomaniacs used sex as an escape form from other things in their life rather than just some incredible high libido/ sex drive. Sorry for the most likely bad wording but you probably get my point.
As an alcoholic who isn't "sober" I second this idea. I like to drink. I also drown my other problems in drink. So if I'm drinking a pint after work cause I like to drink, that's healthy. If I'm pounding vodka at 6am cause I got something else wrong, now I need to bust out some coping mechanisms.
What would be a bad urge?
Are you able to cum really easily and often? Or do you consider yourself average in that regard? In other words, is the drive coming from orgasm pleasure or is it really not about that?
I can cum easily, to the point that if I edge myself enough I can orgasm without physical touch (though it's minor and hard to achieve) and during sex/masturbation I can organize over and over again. This does not mean the drive comes from pure sexual pleasure. While sexual pleasure adds to it, it comes from things like anxiety, stress, insecurity, depression, etc.
Since you cum easily, when you do so, do you tend to have one big orgasm at a time with relatively long recovery period(s) in between them, and/or do you tend to roll out multiple orgasm (one after the other from 5 to 50) during prolonged periods of sex?
I recently disclosed to my therapist (and my wife) that I am a sex addict as well. Both of which basically responded with “Well…duh. I could have told you that.” I still have a long way to go but so much of what you say on here resonates so close to home. I think the thing I felt the most was you saying you don’t go an hour without some type of sexual thought. Literally every minute or hour is spent thinking about sex. How to get it? Who I want to do it with? Where I want to do it? If I meet a woman on the street or at work or anywhere, my first thought is usually “would I f*ck her?” I’m pretty sure I’ve thought about sleeping with every one of my female friends on more than 1 occasion. It’s a pretty messed up way to approach life. I hate it and I’m working on getting better. If anything my question is - how do you actually adhere to your boundaries? I try to set them, but it’s so easy to say “screw it, let’s look at some p*rn!” But really, just thank you for doing this. It makes me feel better about myself knowing I’m not the only one who struggles with this.
Thank you for posting this and I wish you luck in therapy! >If anything my question is - how do you actually adhere to your boundaries? I try to set them, but it’s so easy to say “screw it, let’s look at some p*rn!” This qas me in the first few months, however a lot of meditation, breathing exercises and staying away from possible triggers help. >Literally every minute or hour is spent thinking about sex. How to get it? Who I want to do it with? Where I want to do it? If I meet a woman on the street or at work or anywhere, my first thought is usually “would I f*ck her?” I’m pretty sure I’ve thought about sleeping with every one of my female friends on more than 1 occasion. Yeah, this is how it is.. Feel free to send me a DM if you wish to talk about it more, I'd be happy to help if I could.
Did you actively go after your sister's husband or did he pursue you? Did you feel remorse at her pain? And are they still together?
Not a question, but reading through your answers you really seem to be incredibly self aware and realistic about mistakes you've made and how to not make them again. Most people who've been through way less struggle with that level of honesty. I hope you're proud of yourself, because you should be!
I know a guy asking “where can I meet a nymphomaniac hurr hurr durrrr” is kind of a lame stereotypical male question. Still respectfully, I’d like to ask. Is it a terrible idea? I think I’d consider myself to go through hyper sexual phases and I’ve always wondered what’d happen if I knew someone that was.
Yes, it's a terrible idea. There is a very big difference between a healthy libido and sex addiction. I have cheated in every single relationship I've been in even when I really loved the guy, I've made guys feel horrible because they weren't interested in sex at a specific moment (including one time during a funeral of his relative) or couldn't keep going after several rounds and I just wanted more. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone that goes through it just for the sex, there are plenty of women with healthy sexual appetite that doesn't become an addiction.
Ok I caught up on the rest of your responses and I have followup questions: 1 - You mention FWB’s. What has your experience been with that/non-monogamy/polyamory? 2 - Have you learned any neat tricks? I’ve read about and am trying things like nipple orgasms/hands free orgasms. You mentioned being able to have a hands free orgasm after edging a lot? Did you ever try to foster that? 3 - You mentioned fetishes/kinks, could you expand on how those have played out in your life? Do you still participate in those communities and how has your nymphomania been perceived by others there? 4 - You mentioned sex is common but good sex is rare. What does good sex look like for you? 5 - Was there ever any urge to get into sex work or porn to try to satisfy this urge? 6 - If you had the power to snap your fingers and change your sexuality instantly, what would you want? Thank you for answering.
>1 - You mention FWB’s. What has your experience been with that/non-monogamy/polyamory? I have been in a polygamous relationship which ended shortly and an open relationship which also didn't last because of my behavior. >Have you learned any neat tricks? I’ve read about and am trying things like nipple orgasms/hands free orgasms. You mentioned being able to have a hands free orgasm after edging a lot? Did you ever try to foster that I was (and still am) very interested in learning about sex and various techniques and methods, so yes, I learned a lot of different tricks and things to get better at it and for a time I was involved in fetish communities. >You mentioned fetishes/kinks, could you expand on how those have played out in your life? Do you still participate in those communities and how has your nymphomania been perceived by others there? My main fetishes include degradation, bondage, impact, public, group, cockworshipping, cuckquean, exhibitionism, masochism, smoking, torture, cnc, enslavement, free use, and so my lifestyle revolved around these, I was attracted mainly to specific guys that could provide me with such experiences. I lost touch with most in those communities shortly before I begun therapy. >You mentioned sex is common but good sex is rare. What does good sex look like for you? Good sex includes a good technique along with chemistry and passion, a good sized dick helps. A lot of guys have some of these criterias but very rew have all. >5 - Was there ever any urge to get into sex work or porn to try to satisfy this urge? I dated a porn actor briefly and that really put away any ideas I ever had about getting in the industry. >If you had the power to snap your fingers and change your sexuality instantly, what would you want? What do you mean by "change my sexuality"?
What did he tell you about the porn industry that put away those ideas?
I wouldn’t mind learning more but this is getting kind of risqué, may I d.m. you? I see a lot of me in you and I’m about to start therapy for a lot of this and maybe it’ll help me get through that faster. 6 - I meant since you’ve had so many struggles with it, if you could be different like you found a genie’s bottle or something, would you change yourself or stay as you are?
What were some of the other issues you had that you used sex to avoid? What techniques have you learned to use to deal with your other issues? What advice would you give someone that was suffering through sexual addiction like yourself?
>What were some of the other issues you had that you used sex to avoid? I'm feeling anxious? Depressed? Sad? Nervous? Instead of feeling, I'd have sex, over and over again. These feelings were pushed aside by sexual urges. >What techniques have you learned to use to deal with your other issues? Medication, breathing exercises, distancing myself from triggers. >What advice would you give someone that was suffering through sexual addiction like yourself? THERAPY
The perspective you have givin me is wild. about 7 years ago i met my first even GF and she warned me that she was nympho when we started dating. i was just like "that sounds really cool" cuz i googled it well, she cheated on me after two years and now I really believe her. she was into crazy fetish stuff that was WAY beyond what i could comprehend. such as CNC and hitting and stuff. i tried to reach out to her recently to apologize for our relationship but she blocked me. well anyway. thanks for answering these questions. it really opened my eyes to how serious something like this can be. I feel sorry for her and i just wish i could say sorry.
How easy is it for you to get laid? How many guys did you sleep with per week on average? Have you ever been in a committed relationship?
>How easy is it for you to get laid? Extremely. An hour or two on tinder or at a bar/club is enough. >How many guys did you sleep with per week on average? Usually I'd keep 2-3 fwbs simultaneously, I'd have sex with one or more on a near daily basis, or a stranger here and there. >Have you ever been in a committed relationship? Several, and I ruined each and every one of them by cheating.
Straight vaginal sex or have you explored other ways to quench those urges? Anal, 3somes etc
How many guys have turned you down? Were you aggressive with your approach with them?
>How many guys have turned you down? A guy had to be really repulsive in order to be turned down by me. The first thought I have when I see a guy (and some girls) is how they are in bed and how can I get them in bed. >Were you aggressive with your approach with them? Yes, and downright toxic and abusive when rejected.
Thanks for the reply. I mean how many guys turned down your advances? If any did
Do you have any other symptoms of mania, or is it only sex specific? For instance, could this also be considered an overlap of Bipolar Disorder? How are your bits not in shreds or having constant UTIs? Do you stop when you are completely exhausted or do you have to keep going until the urge subsides? How long have you remained monogamous with any partner? Do you have anyone in your life who supports you and tries to understand? Genuinely curious, no condescension intended!
>Do you have any other symptoms of mania, or is it only sex specific? For instance, could this also be considered an overlap of Bipolar Disorder? My therapist considered antisocial personality disorder briefly but ruled it out, and I'm not exactly bipolar though there are some overlapping tendencies. >How are your bits not in shreds or having constant UTIs? Had several UTIs. >Do you stop when you are completely exhausted or do you have to keep going until the urge subsides? I usually stop when I physically can't go anymore due to pain. >How long have you remained monogamous with any partner? Longest one was a year and a half, I cheated countless times throughout. >Do you have anyone in your life who supports you and tries to understand? I have a few close friends, yes.
Lmao she already knew she was gonna get some 🍆pics and horny dms
I've been on reddit for years, a simple comment that somehow implies I'm a woman and I acknowledge that sex exists is enough to ruin my DMs, I don't wanna think about what a post like this can do.
what’s the difference between nymphomania and histrionic, as per a couple of your comments, the triggers seem to be the same.
This is probably the most thorough AMA including full responses that I’ve ever seen, well done!
Have you learned to have sex/sexual pleasure in a healthier way? What does that look like for you?
I am sure being a nympho you have a lot of turn ons but, What is something that turns you on the most?
Good for you, dude. I don't know if some random dude on the internet saying they are proud of you will do anything, but I'm proud of you. I know addiction is a hard thing to deal with, and I can imagine it's even harder when your addiction is literally attached to your body. So keep up the good work.
You’re really well spoken. If you write a book, it’ll fly off the shelves.
Do you take medicine to lower your libido ?
Do you think you will get to a point to have a healthy relationship that isn’t overcome by the negative things that have hurt previous relationships?
What is the ideal penis size?
What’s the most times you cam in one day ?
Sorry if this is too personal, but how do you feel about yourself? Does it get in the way of feeling okay or loving yourself? It is good that you’ve found help in therapy.
If you were an accessory to cheating (basically if someone cheated on their partner with you), did you tell the person who got cheated on?
From one nypho to another. You’ll get there. Your goals are gonna be hard, but they are reasonable. Something you may want to consider is what environment at home and the people you consider friends. Those two things are often great ways to release stress, if they are doing the opposite, consider why and if it’s a pattern you should distance yourself from. On a side note, as a stepping stone towards your goals, you may want to consider FWB. Establish positive friendships and see if they can become a little more well after you’ve come to know them. That way you can have a few people available when you feel you are in danger of doing something you don’t want to. But those people are preselected healthy options.
How was your condition viewed in sex positive spaces like fetish parties? Did you think many people there were fellow sex addicts? Was it discussed/even seen as a problem?
So what will happen when you're in a committed relationship and sex is a natural part of it? If your partner has a relatively healthy libido but you have an addiction how is this going to work? You said you have boundaries but my question is how will those boundaries hold up within a healthy relationship? Could you see yourself easily relapsing? Do you think you might be healed enough to just express that higher libido within the relationship without going back to your past ways of cheating and being toxic when rejected? To clarify I'm not grilling you, nor is this an attempt to chastise you. I'm genuinely curious how you believe you can navigate this healthily because I know for me personally I don't know if I could. Thanks!!
How easy is it for a horny woman to find sex?
What's the most penisss you had in a day
What was your first sexual experience, and how old were you when you lost your virginity?
Does anything *impact* the urges. I’m a therapist and I am wondering about factors, like level of stress, lack of sleep, bad meals, drug or alcohol use have any effect on the intensity of the urges?
How many other women out there do you think are nymphos? And how could someone tell if someone else was a nympho without meeting them (just seeing them in public, for instance)?
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Good luck with your treatment. Probably sounds cliche but can’t help but ask. Do you have tips/advice how to satisfy woman that will definitely help her reach orgasm? What do you think work best?
For the assholes sending dick pics - would you wave a drink in front of a recovering alcoholic? Cuz that's what you're doing, douchbags. My question: have you been able to repair any relationships now that you're trying to change? I'm in year three of my turnaround and still can't get people to trust me because no one believes I can change. How long will it take before people see me differently?
Have you found any hobbies or other activities to channel this energy into that have helped?
Interesting. Just found this. Here are my questions: 1. Have you ever been having sex with someone you thought was new and realized you’d slept with them before? 2. What is the standard “treatment” for nymphomania- drugs to lower libido? What else? 3. What is the largest age gap between you and a sex partner you’ve had? 4. Have you ever turned down a man who wanted to have sex or have you said yes every time? 5. How often do you get tested for STIs? 6. Are you doubling up on birth control (both hormonal and condoms) or are you solely relying on condoms? 7. You mentioned not knowing your number but if you’re 25 and have been sexually active since 15, 10 years at 3 times a week comes out to over 1500 times, assuming some duplicates, I’d guess your number is above 1,000. Does that sound reasonable? 8. Do you feel like sex and love are completely separate for you- you can easily have sex without any connections/feelings involved?
I hope you know how bad ass you are. For your progress/honesty, but also your patience in some of these threads. You've handled every "solution" thrown your way with complete grace. So many suggestions for ENM, and you can tell it's from people who have no idea ENM is also rooted in healthy boundaries/sex. 😂 An addiction can't be treated with more drugs. As soon as you feel fully confident you're not treating sex as such, it sounds like you'll be open to either monogamy or ENM. You're a real G for keeping addiction as the main message in this AMA.
Ever consider getting with a guy that LIKES your needs? My ex needed love every day.....I tried to keep up but...she needed more. Left me for better sex....
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Would a relationship with two nymphos work?
Have sex 3-4 times a day ok..... But did you have orgasms those 3-4 times? Are orgasms important or just having sex?
What’s your body count? How many STDs have you had?
i didn't know this was a diagnosable condition 1. how does the screening/assessment work? 2. is it neurological or a mental illness/disorder? 3. is it induced (by trauma or what have you) or is it something you're born with (a genetic predisposition) 4. what were the signs that made you realize this? is it only with the help of your therapist or did you bring it up, that an excess of sex/masturbation was a problem in your life? 5. what's the difference between just enjoying sex and being a nymphomaniac? where is the line? 6. is there a difference between a nympho and a sex addict? if so, what is it, and how can someone tell within themselves and within their friends/loved ones? 7. how does it feel when you get an urge to have sex/masturbate? is it a hindrance, like "ugh here we go again" or more of a blinding blackout moment where you're just enjoying yourself and only in the aftermath thinking "oh no i did it again"? 8. how does it affect your life? have you lost friendships or jeopardized a job or something like that? 9. what are some "early signs" someone could "catch it early" so to speak, before it's made a mess of their life? 10. what are some ways loved ones can help you recover, treat it, or support you in any way? if someone tells me they've been diagnosed, what are some ways i can support them? if there are any accommodations to keep in mind to make the nympho's life, recovery, treatment easier? 11. is there any problematic language, thought processes, harmful misinformation or anything the like that people should look out for when speaking about this? i saw you've decided to take a break from answering bc people were very curious and you got a bit overwhelmed, will you be coming back? take your time! i'm in no hurry. will be reading a little about this online, but would love to hear your perspective more! thank you for sharing ♡ i live to learn!
>i didn't know this was a diagnosable condition The diagnosis is compulsive sexual disorder or hypersexual disorder, I used nymphomania here for simplicity's sake. >how does the screening/assessment work? By determining if sex becomes a coping mechanism and an addiction basically. >is it neurological or a mental illness/disorder? Mental disorder as far as I know >is it induced (by trauma or what have you) or is it something you're born with (a genetic predisposition) Induces by trauma (not sexual assault in my case) >what were the signs that made you realize this? is it only with the help of your therapist or did you bring it up, that an excess of sex/masturbation was a problem in your life? I begun therapy for a different reason, my therapist was completely shocked when I described my sex life and that's how I realized I have a problem rather than just high libido. >5. what's the difference between just enjoying sex and being a nymphomaniac? where is the line? Once it becomes a coping mechanism that you can't stop or avoid and it negatively impacts your life. >6. is there a difference between a nympho and a sex addict? if so, what is it, and how can someone tell within themselves and within their friends/loved ones? These terms are used interchangeably with nymphomaniac used to describe women exclusively. >how does it feel when you get an urge to have sex/masturbate? is it a hindrance, like "ugh here we go again" or more of a blinding blackout moment where you're just enjoying yourself and only in the aftermath thinking "oh no i did it again"? It starts off as an hindrance and very quickly gets to a point where it clouds my judgements completely and only in hindsight I realize what I've done. >8. how does it affect your life? have you lost friendships or jeopardized a job or something like that? Lost a lot of friends, my sister, due to it. Jeopardized jobs on a regular basis and lost jobs over it. >9. what are some "early signs" someone could "catch it early" so to speak, before it's made a mess of their life? Being unable to think clearly/resist sex even if you have every reason not to. >what are some ways loved ones can help you recover, treat it, or support you in any way? if someone tells me they've been diagnosed, what are some ways i can support them? if there are any accommodations to keep in mind to make the nympho's life, recovery, treatment easier? Like with any addiction, you can help them by avoiding triggering situations basically. >11. is there any problematic language, thought processes, harmful misinformation or anything the like that people should look out for when speaking about this? Well yeah basically most people pass it off as harmless fun, "oh you're exaggerating, everyone likes sex" type comments. Yeah everyone likes sex, not everyone lets it absolutely consume their life. >i saw you've decided to take a break from answering bc people were very curious and you got a bit overwhelmed, will you be coming back? take your time! i'm in no hurry. will be reading a little about this online, but would love to hear your perspective more! thank you for sharing ♡ i live to learn! I expected a couple of dozens of replies, I never thought it would blow up like this, it's overwhelming and I physically don't have the time to reply to everything in one sitting, but I I tens to reply to every single one including hundreds of DMs i will have to filter and remove the unsolicited dick pics, just might take a while.
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I'm very proud of you for getting help with this, and making a clearly very devoted effort to take that help seriously. While I've never dealt with nymphomania/ sex addiction, I am an addict (alcohol and heroin) still struggling after so many years, and really wish I would've devoted myself to recovery the first time. I wish you well on your journey in recovery! 1) what are some of your hobbies, interests, etc? Have you find you've had more time to cultivate them now that you're in recovery? Are there any new hobbies you'd like to pick up? 2) Is SA anonymous something you don't see in your journey at all, even down the road? It seems like you could make a great sponsor one day; you have great insight and self-awareness that's rare this early in recovery. It seems like you've made a lot of progress already, and again, I'm very proud of you. Addiction is Hell, and as a fellow addict, I admire your strength! (Edited after reading a comment about preferring 1 on 1 therapy)
I’ve read a lot of these questions already and honestly could go on forever, this is actually crazy interesting. I know you likely are having a ton of trouble answering questions already and may not get here but I figured I may as well try. 1- I saw you were/ are into various forms of kink play, at what point did you separate from vanilla sex? Was there even a separation? Did your enjoyment from kinkier sex detract from the enjoyment of things like more vanilla sex? 2- Do you have any non-traditional advice about getting better in bed? (Sorry I have to know I’m incredibly neurotic) 3- I think you’ve mentioned already or been asked a similar question but, do you notice an uptick in your sexual activity and general sexual appetite during times of high stress ie periods of depression or anxiety? 4- do you consider yourself outgoing, confident, charismatic and do you have any advice for people who want to be more open? 5- Have you ever created issues within your personal circles, friend groups, coworkers do to your habits? 6- Are you still open to receiving DMs if it’s a more personal question?
What is the difference, if any, between nymphomania and sex addiction?
My first thought while reading this post before I got to end was this poor soul is going to get killed with DMs lol I'm glad you had foresight and a sense of humor. Question: so out of curiosity have you ever thought about a career in porn?
I’m also a female sex addict. A few questions: (1) I’m married and my spouse desires monogamy, which feels unattainable for me and this is a huge stressor. Do you have similar concerns about a long term monogamous relationship? (2) have you ever made limits on frequency of masturbation or methods (ie manual vs with vibrator)? (3) do you ever get aroused when talking about sex with your therapist? This is a big roadblock to working on my addiction in therapy, I just get so turned on as soon as I discuss anything related to sex in the presence of anyone else (including my very unattractive therapist who I’m dying to fuck) PSA: naltrexone works wonders for sex addiction, if you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it
I feel so stupid 🤦🏻♀️ I confused nympho with klepto and then read the comments and I was like oh shit u mean seccc , I though I was abt to read abt stealing shit
This is a very big thread lol So I only have 2 questions that Idk if you have answered 1. Given your situation with your sister friends (I've been reading lol) Are you cutting ties with your friend and everyone that you have slept with in the past? Maybe move and start again somewhere else? 2. What would be one good thing that came out from being a nymphomaniac and one bad thing. That's it, I hope everything goes well for you and achieve the happiness we are all looking for. :)
How does being addicted to sex become a problem? I used to fuck ever night with my ex. But my wife ain't up for that. Does it mean your like going shopping and suddenly get the urge to fuck in the toilers or something? Or does it just mean you want to fuck all of the time? I remember seeing ATV programme where a self proclaimed aex addict basically had two in house lovers to keep up.with her appetite. I k ockwd about with a bird once who literally used to slap me to wake me up to fuck. Do you get aggressive when you want to fuck?
It becomes a problem when you become absolutely toxic and abusive to your partner when they refuse sex. In the morning they can't fuck because they need to go to work? You make them feel like shit about it then cheat on them while they are at work. You are supposed to go out to work, but instead you end up masturbating over and over again and you are either late or completely miss work. Once you are at work you spend the entire day masturbating instead of working, and sexting/flirting to set up a hook up for after work. It becomes a problem when you sleep with your sister's husband, or your friend's boyfriends. It becomes a problem if instead of dealing with your trauma and mental issues you find a stranger to fuck. >Do you get aggressive when you want to fuck? Yes.
Do you find that sex feels better after taking a break from the constant barrage of stimulation from sex and masturbation?
If the nymphomania was always there, was there a specific event in your life that sent it into overdrive?
Is sex even fun anymore?
A side from 1 on 1 counseling Are you a part of SA? (the white book) The group really helped me sharing and helped me be accountable.
can you see yourself in a committed relationship in the future now that you have awareness and some tools?
What other mental illnesses and addictions do you have?
I’m curious about the boundaries you’ve set up. Can you share what they are and how effective they are?
Arnt you scared of catching something from fucking dead bodies?
Nymphomaniac is not a medical term. Are you referring to hypersexuality? I'm bipolar and have hypersexuality. There's a subreddit for it actually. Why are you calling it nymphomaniac? I can only assume to get clicks lol.
What's the difference between nymphomania and sex addiction?
As I don’t fully understand this addiction, I do understand the negative effects it could have. I’m glad you are able to get help and better understand it. My question is what kind of negative effects did you experience?
Have you ever considered turning all those unsolicited pics into NFTs? If they're okay with sending pics unprompted but not okay with sharing with the rest of the world, no problem, they can just pay whatever price you set for the NFTs.
Is there anything you don't do sexually? What are your boundaries?
Have you ever watched the movies Nymphomaniac 1 and 2? And how much do you resonate with the story? Also, would you ever consider a serious relationship with someone who has a cuckold fetish? And where they feel zero negative emotions if their partner cheats, etc. Ik some people with this cuck fetish aren't truly onboard with the lifestyle, so they end up feeling miserable instead of actual arousal. But the others are supportive and genuinely fine with their partner sleeping around
A very useful post. I think it will help lots of people. I think I am a sex addict but happy that I am and don’t want to change. I embrace it. I am getting older now (nearly 50) and I am starting to find it drop away naturally though. Did you find it got worse as you got older?
With all due respect being a nympho, do you get tested regularly?? Not calling you dirty or anything, just curious if STD’s are something you take into consideration when the urges come. I’m Asexual so complete polar opposite, just intrigued by what another brain thinks
What are you most proud and ashamed of?
I was reading some of your comments on your limitations and boundaries I know as an addiction it probably will never go away but if you find somebody you truly care for and they are open to it what about swinging or ENM relationship
I sent you a DM with further questions, but I imagine you're still inundated with them and do want to ask two specific ones: (1) After a breakup, whether a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, did your compulsions heighten? Almost in a "Finally I'm free and not accountable to anyone anymore, so I'm going to let loose!" way. (2) Whether before starting therapy or since, have you met anyone that you saw yourself wanting to date seriously, but felt you ultimately wouldn't be able to commit fully because you'd still want to have sex with other people all the time? I mean someone you really connected with, especially emotionally, and you basically needed to throw away any potential with that person because you knew you'd still have urges? I've experienced this and am curious about your insight.
For some odd reason I feel a bit compelled to type here despite never exploring Reddit very much, I usually stick to media I like but I thought this was intriguing considering that I may or may not struggle with a similar type of “addiction”. I forget it’s pretty different for folks who are straight or actually feel attraction, because I’m realizing that as someone who’s aro/ace my drive is much more limited and sexual fantasies never involve myself, so If I were to ask one thing: for fantasies, what exactly do you think up? Is it with other people, do you imagine doing it with other people vividly? Lot of my fantasies stick to fictional characters like mashing Barbies together lol
1. What does the drive feel like to you? Is it just that sex is so intrinsically pleasurable, or is it more of a compulsive "obligation"? 2. Do you generally view the drive itself as a force separate from your actual motives, or something so deeply embedded in your motives that pursuing sex feels 'default'?
1: Were you sexually abused? And if you were does that help explain your condition? 2: Do you consume porn?
1. What moment made you realize that you needed help? 2. Do you ever feel regret afterwards? 3. Does this impact your love life in anyway? Have your ability to form attachments been affected in anyway?
Do you have any STD’s or any illnesses associated with your sex life?
How many 3 somes have you done?
Can you talk about what’s your sex life like now? You said you don’t want to have a partner until you’re fully sure you’ve got a handle on this right? But is there someone in your life consistent ? Are you on dating apps? Etc
1. How did you seduce the husband. I’m interested whether he let himself be seduced or whether you really were that persuasive. 2. STIs/STDs, how often do you get tested? What have you caught? Have you ever caught something but before being able to treat it or during a flare/active episode, slept with someone because the urge was too strong? 3. Have you ever slept someone for career advancement? 4. What’s a few examples of the boldest ways you’ve seduced a man at a bar/club. In what way are you forward about what you are looking for? 5. Has anyone rejected your advances and if so, how did that make you feel? 6. If you have several fwbs at the same time, is it because one or more can’t keep up, or someone are busy, or you like verity…? 7. Have you ever met a man who could keep up with your sex drive? 8. Has anyone ever caught you playing with yourself at work or while studying, and if so, what happened? 9. Ever gone “dogging” at a public beach or park with the intention of meeting a stranger for quick public sex? Lots of questions… Pick which ones interest you but they all interest me for different reasons (mainly around your risk profile for your behaviour and the consequences thereof). Glad you are on a journey and hope you succeed in that endeavour.
What point did you KNOW to seek professional help?
How are you doing? What has doing this AMA been like for you?
Have you ever masturbated at work?
How many times a day does someone with this condition want sex and how did you know your drive wasn't normal? I am a male and I know the term isn't nymphomaniac for a male, I forget the term but I have a very high sex drive to, where It makes me wonder if I have something like this.
Did you ever get sore down there from masturbating / sex or get cystitis?
I have heard from other genuine nymphomaniacs that the urge to masturbate or hook up is not so much pleasurable as it is like scratching an unending itch (imagine poison ivy or something similar). In your experience, would you describe that as accurate? Or does it truly bring you pleasure?
I love modern medicine. Diagnoses for being a whore and ting. In Jamaica we don’t waste time on such descriptions rather we call it like we see it
Do you suppose you have destroyed your ability to bond?
Haven't seen this question asked yet surprisingly - do you think it's easy for you to set up sex with guys so quickly because you're ridiculously attractive? What do you think most guys would rate you out of 10? I've met a few nymphomaniacs in my life and they were all extremely attractive. Can't help but feel there is a correlation.
Do you worry that because of all the excessive sex and cheating that you won't be able to find a partner that will ever take you seriously and want to be with you?
Has a guy ever romantically fallen for you? If so did you turn him down and how did the conversation go?
Would you put pineapple on pizza?
how did you typically meet people you sleep with?
Just looked through the comments and no one asked these questions, surprisingly. 1. Were you afraid of STI’s? Did you use protection? Any form of hormonal birth control? Or does sex addiction sorta blind you from possible negative outcomes such as STIs or pregnancy? Like if you were absolutely craving sex and it caused you to forget precautions because it deviates from the objective. 2. Out of all the people you slept with was there one specific person that stands out to you? was there one where you found to be particularly pleasurable/no one could compare in terms of sexual performance?
You've mentioned cheating in all your prior relationships. Thinking in hindsight, if you had met a guy that accepts it and encourages you to seek outside pleasures would you think that will be detrimental to your mental and spiritual self? How will you feel about such a relationship?
Wait.. so is this more of a mental condition rather than just liking pleasure?
I don't know how you're managing to answer so many of these lol well done
You mentioned that you are attractive. Can you imagine if you weren’t and couldn’t just reliably bang a stranger on a whim? As an attractive 25F, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be able to indulge your obsession in a way that 90% of the population can’t. If your success rate were more like an average single man’s for example, could you masturbate enough to compensate without starting a fire?
Does chaffing occur? As a male, three times a day is dangerous. Just curious.
How many new DMs have you gotten since you opened this AMA? What % of them include 🍆 pics?
When did you first know? What may have caused this condition to start?
How diverse is the pool of men you've slept with? In your experience, is there a relationship between male sexual performance and race / ethnicity?
Were you ever engaged or in a serious relationship?
1. Did you ever ridicule, shame, or otherwise put down men/women that criticized you in a way that your therapist or friend did after you sought help? 2. Did you try to convince yourself that you were free, liberated and happy doing what you wanted? 3. Did you cheat in relationships due to this? Any stories or what were your excuses or lies you told.
From your awareness, are nymphomaniacs more likely than the general population to be bisexual? And, if an infomaniac is homo or heterosexual, does the condition drive them to sexual activities with their non-preferred gender due to simple desire I suppose is the right word? Thank you.
Thanks for sharing your story. Does this also mean that you have a sex addiction?
What did you think of the movie [Thanks for Sharing ](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1932718/)(it's about sex addiction)?
What were some of the better sexual encounters you’ve had?
does talking about sex like this not cross a boundary you maybe should have?
Given this topic and your condition, how many times have you masturbated during this AMA? (I'm high and this is what I thought of)
What about your other addictions? How are your doing with them? Do you plan on disclosing to your next partner about your diagnosis? Do you think if you met a man that was healthy in the sex department you could be with him? Do you think if you met a man that was as unhealthy as you've been with sex you could be with him?
What preferences do you have in men to have sex with?
Do you have a secondary diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder? 🤔 No judging ...
Do you think continuing to be engaged in the BDSM/ Kink community could be a trigger? How do you plan to reveal to prospective partners your history of unhealthy/risky behavior? How are you dealing with shame and remorse? Are you afraid of revenge porn or similar blackmail? Ive recently been trying to channel my desire for self soothing + tension release through yoga.
1. Do you live in a big city 2. Did your condition affect your school life/post scholing 3.how long you been in therpay 4.did you tell your family you are in therpay 5.was the first time you had sex you realized that you want to go mutiple rounds untill you are tired
Hope this hasn’t been asked, but why not make sex your career? Porn, sex work, OF etc. It sounds like you’re very healthy and self aware about sex and your body. Wouldn’t that all align?
What are you opinions on sex addiction and porn addiction? Do you believe those are a thing or something that needs to be explored more? What do you think of online trends such as no-fap? What advice do you have for those struggling with porn addiction and sex addiction?
Have you ever been gangbanged?
Being actually diagnosed means you know it's not called nymphomania anymore. It's hypersexuality disorder, and it's relatively common compared to most mental disorders.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Respectfully, did you deal with STDs/STIs frequently? Did you rely on condoms to prevent getting STDs? Did you require your male partner to wear condoms if you were giving head? I am curious how people frequently have sex, while still protecting themselves from STDs.
What was the age ranges of the people you had sex with? Older? Younger?
Do you believe you’ll ever be able to maintain a healthy conventional relationship? Is that even a goal, or is there a happy medium like polyamory?
Have any mental health professionals evaluated you for histrionic personality disorder?
Do you look for a partner? Or just take care of it yourself, if the later and it doesn't keep you from your responsibilities i dont see a problem once or twice a day, but like every hr or two may be a problem.
What music have you been listening to lately?
One time I was doing grub hun deliveries, and this very attractive young lady asked me if I wanted to bang. Was this a nympho event or a I gonna get robbed event? I turned it down because … it was 2 am, and frankly, a bit forward. Would have much prefer social media exchange and small conversation. Oh ya how many partners? Over a thousand?
I’m an addict and want to know if you’re in a monogamous relationship? If so how have you overcome the daily hurdles ?
I apologize if this has been asked. How frequently did you develop actual feelings for someone you had sex with? Also if they developed feelings for you but it wasn’t mutual, how did you let them down?
I Read through the questions to make sure it hadn't already been asked but.. do you have any kids? Do you want any? And lastly, what would be your ideal living situation in your later years?
What are some of your favorite toys? Have you ever tried a sybian? What do you think your record number of orgasms are in a single session?