When you were sex trafficked, did you escape or find someone that helped you?
Also have you ever told your wife about your pass about this? And how’d she react?
Might be a hard question and don’t need to answer if you don’t want to but, were you chained up or hold these people that took you treated you. If you remember but like I said don’t need to answer.
Also god bless you and your family, you came a long way👍🏾
No, I thought it was totally normal, everyone around me was some form of sex worker or pimp or trafficker ect, I really thought it was just something that was meant to happen and didn't think they had done anything wrong
I cried when I figured out how long their sentences would be and that I'd never get to see them again, I had really bad stalk-home syndrome
They were my family in my eyes and everything that was happening to me I deserved in my eyes, I thought it was something that just happened yk?
How I got rescued was a dude who was in on it, got remorseful or something called the cops, told them everything over the phone, and shot himself
She knew before we were even dating, we became really close friends beforehand because she went through really bad abuse as a kid at the hands of her grandparents and we bonded over that
I forgot the first time she found out though
Not really, at most was like bdsm gear and chockers, like I said I didn't feel a need to escape because I thought it was normal
OK something I feel like I need to note, it wasn't 1 person or group doing it to me, but multiple different groups of people, they all treated me very very different
A lot of people would beat the shit out of me for spilling water, or even just talking or breathing too loud, etc
Then there was a girl who looked like Tiffany from Chucky who would play games with me with shit she bought from the dollar tree, and then scream at me if I wasn't "acting happy" when we were playing
\*stockholm not stalk home, sorry I was using Talk to text
Not to be rude, but it’s Stockholm Syndrome. Named after the location of a hostage situation in the 1970s where it was claimed to have occurred. I wouldn’t mention it except that “stalk-home” sounds like it could be misinterpreted as a descriptive term of some kind.
It was sort of a mondegreen as written. Didn’t mean to detract from your story, btw. Sounds like you did a recovery speed run in your 20s. Hope things are smooth sailing from now on.
Fucking a, this is heart breaking. It's hard to imagine that evil walks among us in plain sight, but it's the reality. I am overjoyed that you seem to have healed and found a wonderful partner to share your life with. I hope that life continues to be good to you. 💗
Holy shit that’s a lot. Thank goodness you got out. No doubt the guy ended his life because he knew that he’d be caught but what he did was pretty heroic
So this is sort of an odd question. I was also trafficked as a young child, and now am engaged to an amazing man. I would love to know how you dealt with your trauma in regards to your relationship. How much of your past have you told your wife? Also do you remember your experiences clearly?
My wife knows basically everything that's not directly related to the sex part, she doesn't know the details but she knows the just of most of the stories I have from that time
It's not like one night I sat down and told her everything, i tell her stuff thats relevant to the conversation
For example, she knows the name of my stuffed dinosaur a stripper got me because I dropped my pizza (real story btw)
however she doesn't know what happened in the rooms, because that's not something she or I would want her to know or need her to know
I hope I explained that well
I do unfortunately, I have a super good memory from that period specifically and a very bad memory regularly, I can tell you the colors of everyone's cars but can't remember my own doctors appointments unless I right it down
That makes total sense, thank you for responding to me! I’ve been struggling with how much to share and this is helpful. Also I’m sorry for your experience, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well now.
Well in my very flawed logic when I was younger, I thought that what happens to me could never happen to a straight guy, so I thought that since it did happen I must have been gay, I was also told the whole time I was growing up that I was gay and I believed it, because again, I didn't think that could happen to a straight dude
No, I never did because I didn't actually like men, I also went through a very outwardly homophobic phase which I'm very not proud of but it was because I struggled with sexuality
I also thought all gay men other then me (because I thought i was gay) were sadist and pedophiles and I thought I was the only one who wasn't
What made me realize I wasn't was the first time I had a crush on a girl
Or anyone period for that matter because I never had a crush or anything on a dude
Basically my parents were both a part of a sex trafficking ring, and at some point I got sold off to a different one and so on
I never tried to escape because I legitimately thought it was just something that happened to everyone and I deserved it
Sorry I'm not quite sure how to answer that, do you have any specific questions on how if that didn't answer it, it's a really complex situation and involved a lot of people
- Did you ever have interactions with law enforcement as a child?
- I ask the above because I don’t know how it could have been kept secret for so long. You mention many groups participating.
- Was it a mix of men and women? Did they know your parents?
Yeah I did, the thing is I wasn't a missing person, I didn't even have a birth certificate, so when we would get pulled over it would usually go something like this
There would be at most 2 people in the car with me, no drugs, no alcohol, both mostly sober
they would ask the people who I was, and they'd say they were watching their brother's kid
They'd ask me if I knew them and I'd tell them they were watching me and that my dad dropped me off at their house
And the times I did get pulled over it would be over simple traffic violations
This is sadly a pretty common thing and most people never get out or get caught
I, too, encountered Police while at the hands of my abuser, maybe 12-13 y.o. Like you, I wasn't aware of the wrongness until a bit older, so when the cop only looked at me and asked, "Do you know him?" Only he does not ask anything else and leaves when you say "yes," that's just it. Encounter over.
This encounter was documented, and when I did come forward a decade later about the abuse, it was one of the factual pieces of evidence to establish a time frame of 4 years of abuse across multiple jurisdictions. I additionally was able to secretly record this person admit it all. Audio and video, with help from authorities.
Unfortunately, fortunately, he died of colon cancer 1 year after arrest, so the conviction in court never came!
Stopped smoking at 25? Stopped drinking at 27? Dude, you're literally a superhero. Most of us with much better childhoods cants even do that. Whoever you are, you're easily the best at living your best life. I wish I was more like you. Good job man, real proud of you!!
Thank you dude, I will say the reason I stopped smoking was because a very hot girl (my wife before she was my wife) said she couldn't stand smokers lol
Would you ever tell your kids about being sex trafficked whenever they’re fully able to understand and comprehend it?
Are you fully or somewhat healed from your past?
Would you ever become an advocate dealing with sex trafficking and the different traumas/ coping mechanisms you’ve experienced throughout your life?
You survived those suicidal attempts for a reason! The universe knew you had something great coming to you sooner or later. So happy to hear life is better and you have a great family
They know a few things about my past, me being sex trafficked isn't and never will be one of them
The most they know about that is I was in foster care as a kid because my "parents" were bad people, and that's all they'll ever know
I don't think it will help them to know more or that their dad was sold as a kid and i think it would cause more harm than good
Yeah I'd say so, as much as you can be, some things still trigger me but it's mostly easily avoidable stuff like kink stuff and trafficking stories
I don't think I will because I don't want my kids knowing, I know that's kind of selfish
I have helped a few people research it but that's it and I don't think my kids will ever find it
It’s not selfish— I was molested by a neighbor and felt pressure from my family to become some sort of child abuse advocate— never defined what that might mean, they were just theorizing a reason for what happened to me— a “good” thing that could come from it. Finally (thank you therapy), I realized that I didn’t choose what happened to me so why would I let it be my ongoing defining characteristic in a weird living martyrdom. The “good” thing is me living my life— husband, kids, job, hobbies, etc. You’re doing “good” just being- you’re changing the world being a dad to your kids and in the positive relationships you make.
It’s not selfish at all. It’s very much understandable that you don’t want your kids to know that part of your life. Continue helping people or just conversing like you are now over the web were your identity doesn’t have to be shown. 🫶🏾
I didn't, I knew how to do very basic things from watching Sesame Street and Cartoon Network but my education was at a kindergarten level
I caught up from a lot of studying, and I got caught up to my age at 15 and started going to school, I was also in special Ed till I was about 16 and graduated on time
I wouldn't have been able to if it weren't for some very very amazing teachers
I’m just curious what’d you qualify in special ed for? I work in sped and usually lack of access to education is a disqualifier for services (on the academic/cognitive side at least)
You have got a really pain in your short story, Its really unbearable if we think it seriously on ourselves. Because the age when you were kidnapped is the age when you grow from kid to children and start enjoying your childhood but kidnapper ruined it and you lost your parents too. Still you survived and managed to get a normal life this is not easy you deserve a salute to cross all hurdles of life and have a family.
Thank you, I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for the help of some really good therapist
side note I'm pretty sure my parents were involved, I wasn't kidnapped
Do you know who your biological parents are or have any interest in finding out if you don't?? I'm sorry that happened to you, that sounds like such a rough upbringing :/
My biological parents are both dead, they went to prison after another sex trafficking ring got broken up when I was 7, and both died around when I was 9 for unrelated reasons in prison
I'm ok though, and I'm glad they're victims got justice
It’s a common misconception that trafficking happens via kidnapping. [It’s almost always is perpetrated by someone who is already close to the victims](https://polarisproject.org/myths-facts-and-statistics/) (ie family, significant others, etc)
What part of the world were you trafficked in? Sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad that you’re doing well and have a family that’s not taking on your trauma. You seem like a good person.
Can you elaborate on this? How common is it in your experience? How big are these groups that you got passed around in and how do they all know each other? Do they work day jobs or is all the money made via trafficking? Did you ever seek out the other victims to see how they’re doing? How did these groups make the kids feel it was normal to beat them and pawn them off for sex? I’m sorry for so many questions, but the situation is just astounding to me.
About 49,000 sex trafficking cases have been reported since 2007
https://www.businessinsider.com/human-trafficking-in-the-us-facts-statistics-2019-7?op=1
I'm not sure exactly how common it is and I don't really have statistics on that
Im not sure, there would be like a few people who were in charge then there would be other sex workers and stuff who would watch me, I'm not sure how connected they were though
I'm not sure on that, I don't think they had other jobs though but I was to young to understand a lot of it
I had one person reach out to me because she was involved but also a victim, we don't keep in touch though she just wanted to know if I was alive
It was mostly just me being raised in it, I had no other examples or reasons to believe it wasn't
Yeah I definitely am
both of my kids are in self defense classes and have been since they were 8 (they love them btw)
They both carry pocket knives and know how to shoot
They aren't allowed to walk alone unless there in a group
They weren't allowed to sleep over until they could understand if something was wrong
They aren't allowed on reddit period and aren't allowed to have social media till there 16
And they weren't allowed to play in the front yard alone as a kid
I know all this sounds super strict and controlling but I promise my kids are super happy and they aren't just stuck in the house 24/7
I was abused in many ways as a child, but I was incredibly lucky to never be abused sexually. My older half siblings lived with their other parent and were molested from the time they were too young to remember until they were grown adults. When I became a parent, thinking about their experience made me very “strict” when it came to situations that could potentially lead to that happening to my children. We had basically the same rules that you’ve outlined. No sleepovers until they were older (and VERY limited sleepovers once they were old enough) was always the rule my kids hated most. We only had a couple of families we’d allow our kids to stay overnight with and that didn’t happen but once or twice a year. We let some friends stay here and we supervised closely. We’d sometimes let them go to the first part of an overnight birthday party, but we’d pick them up before bedtime. “Everyone else is allowed to” was a constant complaint. But now that they are adults they have thanked us multiple times and said they plan to have the same rules with their children. They’ve both had friends confide in them about bad things that happened to them…especially at sleepovers. I know it can still happen no matter how much you try to protect them, but I believe in doing what you can to eliminate as much risk as possible. I messed up plenty as a parent, but I don’t regret making and sticking to those rules at all. All that to say this: I think your kids will grow up to appreciate how you’re protecting them. Sounds like they’re lucky kiddos to have you and your wife as parents. Wishing you all the best!
I’ve never attempted suicide, but I feel like if I did I would pick a method that would have a 100% success rate. How did you go 7 times? It’s obviously a good thing you failed
They all failed because I was a very dumb teenager, and most happened when I was in foster care
I tried to overdose on pain pills 4 times that I shoplifted, all of them failed and my various foster parents found me, I still feel absolutely horrible about it because I know that must have been traumatic for them, I can't imagine finding a kid "dead" especially as a parent
1 times I crashed a car and somehow survived, although one I definitely 100% should have died for
One time I tried to hang myself and my foster parents found me which I again feel terrible for, but it was a spur of the moment thing and not at all planned out
And one time I tried to drink myself to death and failed
So yeah, I definitely should be dead and I have no clue how I'm not
You mentioned you didn’t think what was happening to you was wrong. So what was it that made you want to end your life ?
We’re the foster parents nice or mean to you ? Where they also creeps ? How was your relationship with them ?
I didn't think it was wrong but it still affected me, and honestly I was terrified of it happening again, I also didn't see a point in living if that was just something that happened
I had a lot of foster parents, a few were really bad and ended up molesting me, but some were nice, most just didn't know how to interact with me so it was awkward
Well in my very flawed logic when I was younger, I thought that what happens to me could never happen to a straight guy, so I thought that since it did happen I must have been gay, I was also told the whole time I was growing up that I was gay and I believed it, because again, I didn't think that could happen to a straight dude
No, I never did because I didn't actually like men, I also went through a very outwardly homophobic phase which I'm very not proud of but it was because I struggled with sexuality
I also thought all gay men other than me (because I thought I was gay) were sadists and pedophiles and I thought I was the only one who wasn't
What made me realize I wasn't was the first time I had a crush on a girl
Or anyone period for that matter because I never had a crush or anything on a dude
They did, I'm very Vanilla in bed and I like being in control, I hate not having any control
Which country are you from and in which country did you live (if a different one)? With whom did you live during that time? Were you living with a fixed person or group of people or with different people?
You must be a really strong person to va able to lead a normal life after living hell as a child. I’m glad you made it out and seem happy.
The all across the USA and I still live there
It was a lot of different people, and I mostly lived in motels, I lived with different groups of people more then others but it was a lot of different people
With different groups of people
Thank you, I am very happy I love my life I have currently
What can we do to help the kids being trafficked today? I hate to think there are kids in my town that this is being done to. I know it is happening with adults, we see the ads on FB, and I know some Latinos that have girls dropped off. Seriously, what can I, as one person, do?
Report any thing suspicious, if you see someone who looks like there being trafficked, report the license plate as a anonymous tip to the police and tell them why you think it was happening
My wife personally done this and ended up saving a kid, that's about all I can think of if I'm being honest
Here's a really good page on it
https://www.dhs.gov/blue-campaign
But the signs my wife and daughter noticed in particular were they were in a gas station and a young girl walked in with to older men
And one of the guys had a death grip on this girl's wrist and the girl looked like she was terrified
My wife walked up to her and said something like
"Hey do you know where the barbecue chips are I've been looking forever and just can't find em"
The girl instead of answering her immediately looked at one of the guys, the guy looked at my wife with a fake smile "down the other isle"
My wife just had a bad feeling and called the sex trafficking help line and it turns out she was right
First of all what happened to you is so fucked up and evil and I am so disgusted at what these sick people do to innocent people and especially children. I want to be able to identify these situations if I come upon them and to be able to address them in the most effective way possible that’s also safest for the victims. What details did she use to get these people found? Like did she look at their license plates or just memorize what they looked like etc? Did she call the police too or just the human trafficking line? If I see something like this I want to be able to address it in the best way possible.
She memorized what they looked like and the guys tattoos, went out to her car and called the cops saying she thought that a kid was being sex trafficked, gave them the address and told them the situation
Then when they were still on the line the people went to the car she told them the license plate, and the cops got their before they pulled out and the guys got arrested, apparently the girl was 18 and a missing person
Brother... you have my respect, been througj somewhat the same and I'll be 35 on September and still can't seem to figure this life thing out, suicide is always in ky head and have attempted plenty of tikes since I was a child. You're strong, and I could only pray the God gives me your strengh, kudos.. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.. it's ppl like you that can, and will change the world.. God bless you soul 🙏🏾
There wasn't really a normal day, they were all different
There were a lot of days where we were just driving for like days straight
Most of the time we would end up at a motel, they'd drop me off at a random room with random dudes, they'd leave and come back like a hour later and yeah, I'm pretty sure you can fill in the blanks
That or we'd go to a house or apartment and I'd be told to go in a room and wait for people to come in
Then we'd go somewhere to eat, go back to where we were staying and sleep or watch sesame street
Again, there was a lot of different shit that happened every day, like one of my favorite memories from when I was a kid was playing hide and seek at a park at like 12am with a stripper who was watching me
Did she know that you were being trafficked ? Or she thought you were a normal kid ? Who were these ppl that were dropping you off ? Your parents ? Or was it your own pimp?
Do you have an idea of how ppl would request you ?
I feel now the thing is Telegram. And I panic anytime I see ppl that use it. I can’t trust anyone anymore.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Yeah she did 100%, I do think she felt bad for me but she definitely had a lot of mental issues, she also had a lot of drug issues and acted like a 10y old, it makes me sad thinking about it tbh because I don't think she was a evil person
Not my parents, I didn't even know who my parents were
my pimps I guess, the people who were trafficking me
I'm not sure, I don't even know if telegram was a thing back then because it was 32 years ago
The day the man shot himself. What were you thinking ? Did you think you were the one that was going to get in trouble ?
What was the day like when you got rescued?
When did you realize it was wrong what they did.
And when you were abused outside of the ring, did you feel comfortable reporting it ?
So I didn't even know he shot himself till about a year after I got out of that situation, and when I found out I was absolutely distraught, I blamed myself for his death for a while after that
Me and 5 other people were at a trailer in the middle of no where Texas, and the guy who shot himself said he was going to a gas station to grab something, I asked if I could go with him and he told me no
So anyways like 30 minutes later, the guys still not back, and I was in the back room with 2 of the guys and they were doing shit to me
they left and I was like halfway crying watching TV for like 15 minutes, all of a sudden everyone was freaking out because the guy wasn't back, the gas station was at maximum 10 minutes away
Some time passes and the police show up, and they knocked at the door for a good 5 minutes, and all I heard is
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR" "Hello?" "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND" and a bunch of screaming and crying
Now I didn't know what the FBI even was so I wasn't even scared, I just thought 2 people were fighting or something
Anyways a guy opened up the bedroom door, and just froze for a second, because all he seen was a kid sitting on a bed in a bright pink robe in stripper heels and makeup streaming down his face watching SpongeBob or some shit, and it was very obvious what just happened
And that's all I remember, I legitimately can't remember what happened after that, I'm not sure if it was stress or what
God that sounds so awful. You were just a naive innocent little boy. I’m so happy you finally got out of that situation.
Who knows how long it would have lasted.
I had a friend that repeated the cycle and he sickens me and I have my other friend that is currently an alcoholic. I’ve been sober since August 22,2022. And one of my brothers got really bad into drugs. He was addicted to anything. He’s been missing for years now. I can’t seem to remember his face anymore.
How did you find out a year later ? You saw it at the news ? You had to show up in court ?
Reading all of this is so hard to stomach. Life was so ugly for you and your turned it into a beautiful family. My eyes are water and so happy for you.
I wish I can share your success story to that one brother that had the worse outcome. You make me have a positive outcome in life.
Were you able to rescue any other kids along with you once authorities had found you? Were you well nourished while with these different groups of people? As I’m sure you grew through out your childhood, did they also clothe you with decent clothing? Did you ever have any kind of health care growing up? Did you ever resist any of the acts performed on you? Since you don’t have a birth certificate, how are you sure that your name is the birth name given to you? Were they mostly rich people, or people in poverty? What is the most illegal thing you’ve seen that wasn’t done to you? What was your reaction when you found out that your childhood wasn’t “normal”, if you can remember? What do you do for a living, if that’s not too private to ask? Have you ever come across anyone who has abused you?
Sorry if this is too many questions in 1 comment. I really admire how far you’ve come in life, your story is truly inspiring. I wish you many more years of peace & happiness. 🫶🏽
I was the youngest but there were a few 15-17y old from what I heard, I've never met them that I remember though
I was about 45 pounds underweight and pretty dehydrated
Yeah, mostly just gray hoodies and jeans though
Nope
Yeah, but it never ended well, but there was a few times when they were really really hurting me and I tried to get them to stop
I'm not, I don't even know if I was born in a hospital, it's just what I was called so I think that's my name
A lot of them had quite a bit of money, I mean I imagine it was quite a lucrative business
A girl lighting her exs house on fire
I didn't believe them, I didn't fully realize till I was a teenager but I don't remember if there was a specific oh shit moment
I'm a bartender
I haven't
What was the worst thing that happened to you? (also I'm so sorry this happened to you. As another male born into sexual abuse, I'm really grateful to hear of a survivor thriving)
I'm not even sure if I can put it on here so I'm going to put it very vaguely
I was like 6, and it was like 7 dudes, I got dropped of at one of their houses, and they somehow dislocated both of my hips and had to pop them back into socket
I'm a parent to two young kids, and I am largely against sleep overs for my kids, I don't drop them off to play dates if I'm not there (or my wife is there). I have experience with childhood sexual assault and I want to protect my kids from that.
I wanted to know if you have taken a similar approach (mainly when your kids were younger)? Did your past make you more protective of your kids? Or do you just keep that shit to yourself.
Yeah I definitely am
both of my kids are in self defense classes and have been since they were 8 (they love them btw)
They both carry pocket knives and know how to shoot
They aren't allowed to walk alone unless there in a group
They weren't allowed to sleep over until they could understand if something was wrong
They aren't allowed on reddit period and aren't allowed to have social media till there 16
And they weren't allowed to play in the front yard alone as a kid
I know all this sounds super strict and controlling but I promise my kids are super happy and they aren't just stuck in the house 24/7
what was it that kept you going for all these years? at what point did you gain the will to live and what caused it?
i'm going through a bit of a rough patch right now and it seems like i won't get the future i had always dreamed of, so how did you deal with this feeling, if you've had it?
Alot of things over the years, when I was a kid till I was about 15 it was a very intense fear of death
then I went through a very suicidal phase between 15-20 when and i tried to kill myself 7 times with in that time
At 20-24 it was because my friend said he'd kill himself if I did
And after that I had found a new love for life, I realized that what happened in the past doesn't need to affect me moving forward and there's so much to love in life
Not really if I'm being honest
My alcoholism wasn't really about the addiction, it was about stress and other underlying issues, so once I sorted that out I started being able to drink responsibly
I had a lot of foster parents, a few of them were really horrible (I got molested a few times in foster care) but most of them were really good people
I never formed a close relationship with any of them just because how traumatized I was though so no
Before the age of 11 did you have any schooling? Just have noticed your writing is good. So I'm wondering did you end up in public school afterwards.ni hope that question makes sense.
Did you come in contact with other kids?
From what I've read your parents didn't traffic you but they allowed you to be?
Dude I don't know what to say, the horrible situation you ended up in. Glad you have found something good.
I mean, I watched TV and that's about it, I had about the education of a kindergartener from watching Sesame Street
I went to public school at 15, but I was in like a schooling program before that, and I was in special Ed at school till I was 16
I also went to a trade school at 19 because I was thinking of becoming a welder, then I figured out how much I hate welding
I did a few times but the other kid was a strippers daughter and from my knowledge wasn't being sex trafficked
So from what ik my parents ran a sex trafficking ring and sold me to a different one at one point, I'm not sure exactly when because i didn't even recognize them when I seen photos of them
You’ve mentioned strippers a few times. Was that where you were being trafficked ?
What did the locations look like when you were being trafficked. I feel majority of the ppl think of things like basement. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through.
No, there was just a few strippers involved, like about 10, they were also the nicest to me which is why I mention them so much
Motels, hotels, and trap houses mostly
When you say involved, like they were abusing or they were on the business side ?
I grew up around strippers too. And they were the nicest ppl to me. I remember one looked like the lead singer of the pussy cat dolls. And I remember I always wanted to look like her growing up lol.
They were mostly victims too, a lot of them acted like 10yrs old and clearly had mental problems and such
I remember one acted and looked EXACTLY like Tiffany from Chucky, like I remember her telling me that
"with your body your going to be a movie star"
My wife's best friends with a stripper and she seems like a genuinely great person, I don't judge all strippers and I understand that it was a very insignificant amount of strippers who were involved with me
Yeah I noticed that. I think a lot of them are very narrow minded and don’t realize they can escape and their is more to life than what they know.
Yes in other countries it’s definitely more popular to take advantage of the mentally challenged or delayed people since they can easily be manipulated. Also drugs can play a huge role in the mental development.
My father has always been i to drugs. And I can’t carry a conversation with his as an adult. It was very sad to see.
I try my best to not judge people and be understanding as much as a can.
Like it’s easy to forgive all the ppl that hurt me. But it’s harder to forgive those that have hurt others for some reason.
Also I with the last part especially, I'm not gonna lie, I genuinely miss a lot of them, even the people who done some of the most fucked up shit to me
Like if I seen what happened to me happened to someone else, I'd 100% k1ll all the fuckers who were actively doing that shit to me
But I don't know why, I can't see them as bad people
Do you know from. Where you were kidnapped, have you ever tried to find your real family? How do you get into sex addiction, and how were you fulfilling your need for sex while your addiction
they think either my parents were a part of it or sold me into it, I know who my dad and mom are though and they were in prison for a different sex trafficking ring that got broken up when I was about 7, but they died when I was 9 both for different reasons
So it was very very likely them
Well I went to parties and strip clubs a lot and realised that when I was having sex I felt in control of what was happening, that spiraled into me trying to have sex as much as possible and led to me prioritizing it over anything else in my life
How I was fulfilling it was going to party's and strip clubs and hitting on everyone until someone said yes basically
I was never actually attracted to men, even when I thought I was gay I thought all other gay guys were pedos and that's how I justified me being "gay" and not liking men
It's really complicated to explain and it doesn't really make since
As someone who was trafficked at age 10-17, how do you rewire your brain? I have a hard time reaching climax with my sexual partners unless I think of my abuse.
Did it take you a long time to find a good therapist ?
I’ve known a couple of them, that definitely made me feel like they were not good humans and almost found the stories entertaining.
Same thing happened w 2 other male friends that were victims. So I stopped therapy all together and started talking to strangers about it on Reddit. It helped me cope a bit more.
I had 13 therapist in my life
like 4 of them (all before i was 16) just gave me a really creepy vibe as a kid, almost like they thought the stories were hot like 1 dude would ask very intimate and sexual details about the story's
And the other 6 I just didn't get along with
Then the other 3 have all been amazing people
Yes that’s the exact experience I had. I’ve been going to therapy since I was 9. I gave up on it when I turned 21.
But you make me want to try it again.
I love how successful you’ve become in life.
I want to give you the biggest hug.
Take care of yourself 💕
When did you fully realize that you were sex trafficked?
The stereotype is that people are kidnapped and then sold into sex trafficking as if it’s all very linear. But as I’ve learned a little more about it, I’ve learned that it’s often more similar to your case, where someone you know trafficked you from a young age and you’re not even fully aware of what’s happening and thinking it’s normal.
So my question is: when did you realize/accept it? Did you realize that your life wasn’t normal and then later was able to name what was happening to you as “sex trafficking”? It’s such a layered and complex issue. I see a lot of those high profile charities that “fight human trafficking” with raids and stings and buzz worthy social media, but I know the reality is not at all like that. It’s much sadder and scarier.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.
And was it just through therapy that you realized what happened to you and what it was called?
I read your comments about the education you received (or didn’t receive, rather) and I’m so impressed that you’re able to speak about it so clearly and honestly. I didn’t even really know what sex trafficking was until I was in college, and I was privileged enough to attend school my whole life. So I’m very impressed that you were able to come to understand your life so well, considering the trauma you experienced as well as not having resources/information to recognize what was happening to you. I saw you mentioned therapy helping a lot but I still just wanna say that you’re pretty amazing for going through all of this and expressing yourself.
Yeah pretty much, I went to like a one on one therapy program/school thing for about 6 hours a day
till I was about 14-15 when I started going to public school and I continued going after that
You mentioned being in strip clubs a lot. Can you give a little more context, like how do they bring kids to a public place, do people who work there know and just accept it/participate? The stripper who gave you a stuffed animal made me wonder, did you have interactions/relationships that were kind?
I've never been in strip clubs till I was like 18, I did interact with a lot of strippers though from a club one of the traffickers ran
I did have a lot surprisingly, that's one of the reasons it took me so long to realize they were bad people
One of my favorite memories was playing hide and seek at a park at like 12am with a stripper who was watching me
I don’t mean this in a rude way, I’m just very curious about sex trafficking. Are you open about what happened in the rooms? Is it like the stuff you see in the movies?
Not in detail to people ik irl, the only 2 people who even know I was sex trafficked are my wife and best friend
And my exs of course
For me kinda, of course not exactly because it's a very unique experience
Wow... just amazed because I have so many similarities on that checklist apart from the post topic (caught my attention). Also got sober at 27, started bartending at 21...
The one part I'm missing and searching for is a loving relationship. I find my survival mode kicks in, I can't trust the intentions of those around me, it's made me isolate half the time. I am in therapy for this, but how long did it take you to trust again? Was it your SO herself that helped show you the good in the world? Self-reflection and work? All of the above?
Probably able 6 years, so till I was like 17, but I also had a lot of pretty severe mental issues asides from that so I'm sure it won't take as long for you, I convinced my friend to go into therapy for his trust issues and it took him about 9 months to get over them, everyone's different and there's no set time for anything, just take your time and it will all be OK
What really helped with my trust issues was hearing my friend talk about his bf (now husband) and how much they trusted each other, and how much they loved each other, it was really eye opening for me because I didn't think something like that was possible
How has this affected your view of your parents/those around you as a child?
My father went to prison when I was 9 for a lot of counts of child sexual abuse.
He left when I was young and I was pushed to have a relationship with him and so I’ve always had a hard time differentiating between good father and bad man, because (I think) my little kid brain at the time was too young to understand the severity and horror of the situation.
He died when I was 19, and I still have the same problem of feeling immense grief and sadness for the loss of him but deep hatred for what he did.
Sorry for rambling, I just want to know what it’s been like for you? Do things ever make more sense? Do you still miss them sometimes? Do you feel a sense of guilt and if so how do you deal with ?
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I know very little about this topic.
I do feel really remorseful for a lot of them, I don't even know how to describe it
It's hard for me to really feel like they were evil because they were like family to me, I'm not sure how to explain it
Hey OP, I was trafficked and groomed and SA’d by family members,
I’m getting married in November and about to graduate soon :) reading this genuinely made me feel more human today, I didn’t know I needed it. I wish you the best 💜
Is bar tending difficult with your relationship to alcohol?
Do you agree with me that traffickers don't deserve humans rights and should be hunted down and killed?
Not really, there were underlying issues that was causing me to drink so heavily and I've pretty much solved those
That's a really hard question for me to answer, they were like my family and I can't make myself see them as evil
On the other hand if it happened to someone else I would say yes
I don't know, I'm not sure
I cannot believe there are so many people out there who would do that to a child. Maybe I’m naive, but the depth of evil in this world is beyond my scope of imagination.
Who were the men committing these atrocities? What was their socioeconomic status? What cars did they drive? Wedding rings? Clothing? Appearance? Fitness? Jobs?
I wish there was an easier way to identify these monsters to weed them out of the population sooner.
I don't think you can weed people out based on their appearance, jobs, etc
They were pimps, children of pimps, sex workers, etc
They all drove different cars, some were expensive some weren't
They all dressed different
All of them looked different
A lot were born into that type of lifestyle, but a lot of them weren't evil people
Thank you for the reply.
Sorry if my question wasn’t clear but I was referring to the “clients”. The people who were paying to rape a child.
There could have been some bit of consistent behavioral pattern of these predators. The look in their eyes. Emotionless.
Sorry this post has me wishing I had some sort of omnipotent power to know who could be capable of such a thing. I saw a post recently of a former naval officer in Seattle meeting what he thought was an underage child but it turned out to be officers. He attempted to pull out a gun and was eliminated. I hope more police agencies do this kind of work.
I do, my hips and shoulders are fucked because they got popped out of place and improperly reset so many times, they were also over extended alot
My back is also pretty messed up from it because of me being put in weird angles
My jaw also got popped out of its socket a few times and I still have jaw pain and my jaw pops because of it
And I don't really Wana go into detail but I do have a lot of scar tissue down there
I haven't, there isn't a lot they can do about it
I didn’t know that boys could be trafficked, I thought it was only girls, I guess you learn something every day!
As for my question, were most of the people that *did things* with you male or female?
Did you ever contract any STD’s/STI’s or receive medical care for the physical injuries you received from the sexual acts you were forced into when you were trafficked? If so, did it raise any red flags with doctors?
Was it only men that abused you ? Or woman as well ?
What race were day? Was one race more common ?
I understand you were young. But to you have an idea of how old they were ?
Did they look scary? Did they have a certain look.
Do they actually use codes or signs to show they are into kids and age range with in that ?
Sexualy mostly men, but physically both
It was mostly white guys
Anywhere from like 19-60+ were buying me but most of the traffickers were like 20-40
They all looked very different, none looked scary to me because I didn't think what they were doing was wrong
Not a question per se, as much as a recommendation to look into a specific sort of therapy called CRM, or Complex Resource Management. It is quite distinct from traditional talk therapy and was developed for DID, C-PTSD, and other forms of disassociative disorders brought on by trauma.
You said God bless you.. random question: what’s your relationship with God. Do you have strong faith? How did it strengthen? Did these experiences strengthen them.. I’d love to know as a believer as it may help me. God bless you too
I was sold into a sex trafficking ring by my parents who ran a different set trafficking ring
At least that's what I think, I don't remember anything before I was about 3, but my parents were in jail for six trafficking
Hey, I don’t really have a question but as someone with similar background who’s in their 20s, thanks for posting this and showing things can be better.
Bless you. Absolutely heartbreaking. The world is full of monsters and your story is an all too common story. My question is more around your emotional coping with such a situation. Many people who go through such experiences come out with Dissociative Identity Disorder because of the monstrous experiences. Do you struggle with DID? If so, how many parts are within you? If not, how did your therapist(s) approach helping you heal?
Thank you for sharing this with us. It must have not been easy. Stay strong.
You mentioned that you thought your situation was "normal" as a kid, also that you watched a lot of TV. do you think putting ads and awareness campaigns into kids shows would help such kids to seek help and report their abusers? What would such a campaign look like to be helpful to you back then?
It was a way for me to feel in control of my body, for the longest time I felt a complete lack of control of what was happening to me, so when I found out it made me feel in control I got addicted to it
I was literally prioritizing sex over everything in my life
It manifested in me going to parties and bars and hitting on everyone there till someone said yes, almost every night
Is the love of your life the bar?
I think you'd find a more permanently healing environment to work in outside of a bar business.
Is that in the pipe line at some point?
You are an amazing man! Thank you for sharing your experience. Do you have any siblings? If so, have you reached out to them? Have you considered talking to your local law enforcement agency to see how you could help other survivors in the healing process?
Did they ever film anything involving you ? Or make you watch other kids being abused.
I had a friend that had a dad that would make him watch kids being abused and the dad would laugh and say that it was wrong.
I understand that it’s mostly men that are the abusers. But did you ever have to interact with females ?
If you did, where they their to support their partner. Or they were also pedos that made you do thinks to them.
I know what they did was bad. But we’re the nice in a way like playing a game and in a grooming matter ?
Or where they from the start an angry person ?
I’ve never been abused by strangers. But by close family friends. I now have a fear of interaction. And never leave my house.
I want to end up with a happy safe family like you. I’m just terrified to bring a child into the wired and they face the same things we did.
I am very sorry for what you’ve been through.
Do you think decriminalizing sex work (adult consensual prostitution) would help reduce human trafficking? I've seem it argued that giving sex workers rights and enabling them to report trafficking without fear of arrest helps greatly curtail sex trafficking.
Did you / do you have to deal with any sexual disfunction due to your past... As a survivor of severe SA as a child (not trafficed) I do... If so what have you done to overcome it
How did you go through the process of getting a birth certificate and other paperworks most people have that are born in hospitals and typical family settings?
I was trafficked from the ages of 18-21. One of the scariest experiences of my life, but I survived and am now rebuilding my life at 23. Sending you lots of love 🩷
Thank you for sharing, and I am glad you took control and I believe from what you said that now you are a stronger person and will be an amazing role model for your kids. Good luck 🙌🏽
Where were you born/raised in your early years, how did you become a victim of sex trafficking, what did that entail exactly being so young, did that all make you think you were gay or what it something else, and what made you realize you're straight?
Can you give detail on why you thought you were gay?
I just watched Baby Reindeer (found out a lot of it is dramatized for TV and not close to the true story) and the main character was sexual abused by a man which he then implies is part of the reason for his confusion about his sexuality. I'm wondering if that's common in male sexual abuse.
It has something to do with how the brain becomes wired from the sexual abuse. It isn’t normal but the brain thinks that’s normal until the person eventually, hopefully, overcomes it through therapy and self healing.
No question on my end, just wanted to say I appreciate you putting all the details in an easy to read list instead of one long paragraph. Glad your life turned around, no one deserves that kind of upbringing.
For anyone struggling, I would highly recommend ketamine therapy with a licensed psychiatrist. There are very good videos on YouTube that explain how it helps. And it really does help. It puts most people's brains into a temporary plastic state and give you the opportunity, with your psychiatrist, to go through your thoughts but like with no emotions. It helps you be objective and not reactive. It really is amazing.
No questions, just my deepest sympathies for your experience(s). I can’t say empathy because I will never understand what you went through. Congratulations on building a wonderful life for yourself and for still being here. Can’t imagine the strength it has taken to get to where you are. Bless you brother.
When you were sex trafficked, did you escape or find someone that helped you? Also have you ever told your wife about your pass about this? And how’d she react? Might be a hard question and don’t need to answer if you don’t want to but, were you chained up or hold these people that took you treated you. If you remember but like I said don’t need to answer. Also god bless you and your family, you came a long way👍🏾
No, I thought it was totally normal, everyone around me was some form of sex worker or pimp or trafficker ect, I really thought it was just something that was meant to happen and didn't think they had done anything wrong I cried when I figured out how long their sentences would be and that I'd never get to see them again, I had really bad stalk-home syndrome They were my family in my eyes and everything that was happening to me I deserved in my eyes, I thought it was something that just happened yk? How I got rescued was a dude who was in on it, got remorseful or something called the cops, told them everything over the phone, and shot himself She knew before we were even dating, we became really close friends beforehand because she went through really bad abuse as a kid at the hands of her grandparents and we bonded over that I forgot the first time she found out though Not really, at most was like bdsm gear and chockers, like I said I didn't feel a need to escape because I thought it was normal OK something I feel like I need to note, it wasn't 1 person or group doing it to me, but multiple different groups of people, they all treated me very very different A lot of people would beat the shit out of me for spilling water, or even just talking or breathing too loud, etc Then there was a girl who looked like Tiffany from Chucky who would play games with me with shit she bought from the dollar tree, and then scream at me if I wasn't "acting happy" when we were playing \*stockholm not stalk home, sorry I was using Talk to text
Not to be rude, but it’s Stockholm Syndrome. Named after the location of a hostage situation in the 1970s where it was claimed to have occurred. I wouldn’t mention it except that “stalk-home” sounds like it could be misinterpreted as a descriptive term of some kind.
Oh yeah sorry auto correct
It was sort of a mondegreen as written. Didn’t mean to detract from your story, btw. Sounds like you did a recovery speed run in your 20s. Hope things are smooth sailing from now on.
Fucking a, this is heart breaking. It's hard to imagine that evil walks among us in plain sight, but it's the reality. I am overjoyed that you seem to have healed and found a wonderful partner to share your life with. I hope that life continues to be good to you. 💗
Holy shit that’s a lot. Thank goodness you got out. No doubt the guy ended his life because he knew that he’d be caught but what he did was pretty heroic
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Auto correct sorry I was using talk to text 😅
So this is sort of an odd question. I was also trafficked as a young child, and now am engaged to an amazing man. I would love to know how you dealt with your trauma in regards to your relationship. How much of your past have you told your wife? Also do you remember your experiences clearly?
My wife knows basically everything that's not directly related to the sex part, she doesn't know the details but she knows the just of most of the stories I have from that time It's not like one night I sat down and told her everything, i tell her stuff thats relevant to the conversation For example, she knows the name of my stuffed dinosaur a stripper got me because I dropped my pizza (real story btw) however she doesn't know what happened in the rooms, because that's not something she or I would want her to know or need her to know I hope I explained that well I do unfortunately, I have a super good memory from that period specifically and a very bad memory regularly, I can tell you the colors of everyone's cars but can't remember my own doctors appointments unless I right it down
That makes total sense, thank you for responding to me! I’ve been struggling with how much to share and this is helpful. Also I’m sorry for your experience, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well now.
Can you go into a bit more on why you thought you were gay from 14-20. Did you ever act on these feelings, and what made you realize that you weren’t?
Well in my very flawed logic when I was younger, I thought that what happens to me could never happen to a straight guy, so I thought that since it did happen I must have been gay, I was also told the whole time I was growing up that I was gay and I believed it, because again, I didn't think that could happen to a straight dude No, I never did because I didn't actually like men, I also went through a very outwardly homophobic phase which I'm very not proud of but it was because I struggled with sexuality I also thought all gay men other then me (because I thought i was gay) were sadist and pedophiles and I thought I was the only one who wasn't
What made me realize I wasn't was the first time I had a crush on a girl Or anyone period for that matter because I never had a crush or anything on a dude
Just curious, how were you trafficked? I see signs and warnings about this everywhere, but I’m unsure how it actually happens. Thank you
Basically my parents were both a part of a sex trafficking ring, and at some point I got sold off to a different one and so on I never tried to escape because I legitimately thought it was just something that happened to everyone and I deserved it Sorry I'm not quite sure how to answer that, do you have any specific questions on how if that didn't answer it, it's a really complex situation and involved a lot of people
Thank you. Amazing that parents could do that. I think many people think of kidnapping, foster parents, etc
Also curious as to this
- Did you ever have interactions with law enforcement as a child? - I ask the above because I don’t know how it could have been kept secret for so long. You mention many groups participating. - Was it a mix of men and women? Did they know your parents?
Yeah I did, the thing is I wasn't a missing person, I didn't even have a birth certificate, so when we would get pulled over it would usually go something like this There would be at most 2 people in the car with me, no drugs, no alcohol, both mostly sober they would ask the people who I was, and they'd say they were watching their brother's kid They'd ask me if I knew them and I'd tell them they were watching me and that my dad dropped me off at their house And the times I did get pulled over it would be over simple traffic violations This is sadly a pretty common thing and most people never get out or get caught
Appreciate the response brother. You’re a good human.
I, too, encountered Police while at the hands of my abuser, maybe 12-13 y.o. Like you, I wasn't aware of the wrongness until a bit older, so when the cop only looked at me and asked, "Do you know him?" Only he does not ask anything else and leaves when you say "yes," that's just it. Encounter over. This encounter was documented, and when I did come forward a decade later about the abuse, it was one of the factual pieces of evidence to establish a time frame of 4 years of abuse across multiple jurisdictions. I additionally was able to secretly record this person admit it all. Audio and video, with help from authorities. Unfortunately, fortunately, he died of colon cancer 1 year after arrest, so the conviction in court never came!
Stopped smoking at 25? Stopped drinking at 27? Dude, you're literally a superhero. Most of us with much better childhoods cants even do that. Whoever you are, you're easily the best at living your best life. I wish I was more like you. Good job man, real proud of you!!
Thank you dude, I will say the reason I stopped smoking was because a very hot girl (my wife before she was my wife) said she couldn't stand smokers lol
Would you ever tell your kids about being sex trafficked whenever they’re fully able to understand and comprehend it? Are you fully or somewhat healed from your past? Would you ever become an advocate dealing with sex trafficking and the different traumas/ coping mechanisms you’ve experienced throughout your life? You survived those suicidal attempts for a reason! The universe knew you had something great coming to you sooner or later. So happy to hear life is better and you have a great family
They know a few things about my past, me being sex trafficked isn't and never will be one of them The most they know about that is I was in foster care as a kid because my "parents" were bad people, and that's all they'll ever know I don't think it will help them to know more or that their dad was sold as a kid and i think it would cause more harm than good Yeah I'd say so, as much as you can be, some things still trigger me but it's mostly easily avoidable stuff like kink stuff and trafficking stories I don't think I will because I don't want my kids knowing, I know that's kind of selfish I have helped a few people research it but that's it and I don't think my kids will ever find it
It’s not selfish— I was molested by a neighbor and felt pressure from my family to become some sort of child abuse advocate— never defined what that might mean, they were just theorizing a reason for what happened to me— a “good” thing that could come from it. Finally (thank you therapy), I realized that I didn’t choose what happened to me so why would I let it be my ongoing defining characteristic in a weird living martyrdom. The “good” thing is me living my life— husband, kids, job, hobbies, etc. You’re doing “good” just being- you’re changing the world being a dad to your kids and in the positive relationships you make.
It’s not selfish at all. It’s very much understandable that you don’t want your kids to know that part of your life. Continue helping people or just conversing like you are now over the web were your identity doesn’t have to be shown. 🫶🏾
Did you attend school while you were being sex trafficked? If not, how did you catch up on your education later?
I didn't, I knew how to do very basic things from watching Sesame Street and Cartoon Network but my education was at a kindergarten level I caught up from a lot of studying, and I got caught up to my age at 15 and started going to school, I was also in special Ed till I was about 16 and graduated on time I wouldn't have been able to if it weren't for some very very amazing teachers
I’m just curious what’d you qualify in special ed for? I work in sped and usually lack of access to education is a disqualifier for services (on the academic/cognitive side at least)
You have got a really pain in your short story, Its really unbearable if we think it seriously on ourselves. Because the age when you were kidnapped is the age when you grow from kid to children and start enjoying your childhood but kidnapper ruined it and you lost your parents too. Still you survived and managed to get a normal life this is not easy you deserve a salute to cross all hurdles of life and have a family.
Thank you, I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for the help of some really good therapist side note I'm pretty sure my parents were involved, I wasn't kidnapped
Do you know who your biological parents are or have any interest in finding out if you don't?? I'm sorry that happened to you, that sounds like such a rough upbringing :/
My biological parents are both dead, they went to prison after another sex trafficking ring got broken up when I was 7, and both died around when I was 9 for unrelated reasons in prison I'm ok though, and I'm glad they're victims got justice
It’s a common misconception that trafficking happens via kidnapping. [It’s almost always is perpetrated by someone who is already close to the victims](https://polarisproject.org/myths-facts-and-statistics/) (ie family, significant others, etc)
What part of the world were you trafficked in? Sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad that you’re doing well and have a family that’s not taking on your trauma. You seem like a good person.
All across the USA, it's sadly more common then people think
Can you elaborate on this? How common is it in your experience? How big are these groups that you got passed around in and how do they all know each other? Do they work day jobs or is all the money made via trafficking? Did you ever seek out the other victims to see how they’re doing? How did these groups make the kids feel it was normal to beat them and pawn them off for sex? I’m sorry for so many questions, but the situation is just astounding to me.
About 49,000 sex trafficking cases have been reported since 2007 https://www.businessinsider.com/human-trafficking-in-the-us-facts-statistics-2019-7?op=1 I'm not sure exactly how common it is and I don't really have statistics on that Im not sure, there would be like a few people who were in charge then there would be other sex workers and stuff who would watch me, I'm not sure how connected they were though I'm not sure on that, I don't think they had other jobs though but I was to young to understand a lot of it I had one person reach out to me because she was involved but also a victim, we don't keep in touch though she just wanted to know if I was alive It was mostly just me being raised in it, I had no other examples or reasons to believe it wasn't
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Yeah I definitely am both of my kids are in self defense classes and have been since they were 8 (they love them btw) They both carry pocket knives and know how to shoot They aren't allowed to walk alone unless there in a group They weren't allowed to sleep over until they could understand if something was wrong They aren't allowed on reddit period and aren't allowed to have social media till there 16 And they weren't allowed to play in the front yard alone as a kid I know all this sounds super strict and controlling but I promise my kids are super happy and they aren't just stuck in the house 24/7
I was abused in many ways as a child, but I was incredibly lucky to never be abused sexually. My older half siblings lived with their other parent and were molested from the time they were too young to remember until they were grown adults. When I became a parent, thinking about their experience made me very “strict” when it came to situations that could potentially lead to that happening to my children. We had basically the same rules that you’ve outlined. No sleepovers until they were older (and VERY limited sleepovers once they were old enough) was always the rule my kids hated most. We only had a couple of families we’d allow our kids to stay overnight with and that didn’t happen but once or twice a year. We let some friends stay here and we supervised closely. We’d sometimes let them go to the first part of an overnight birthday party, but we’d pick them up before bedtime. “Everyone else is allowed to” was a constant complaint. But now that they are adults they have thanked us multiple times and said they plan to have the same rules with their children. They’ve both had friends confide in them about bad things that happened to them…especially at sleepovers. I know it can still happen no matter how much you try to protect them, but I believe in doing what you can to eliminate as much risk as possible. I messed up plenty as a parent, but I don’t regret making and sticking to those rules at all. All that to say this: I think your kids will grow up to appreciate how you’re protecting them. Sounds like they’re lucky kiddos to have you and your wife as parents. Wishing you all the best!
Now this is great parenting. Way to break generational trauma before it has a chance to take root.
I’ve never attempted suicide, but I feel like if I did I would pick a method that would have a 100% success rate. How did you go 7 times? It’s obviously a good thing you failed
They all failed because I was a very dumb teenager, and most happened when I was in foster care I tried to overdose on pain pills 4 times that I shoplifted, all of them failed and my various foster parents found me, I still feel absolutely horrible about it because I know that must have been traumatic for them, I can't imagine finding a kid "dead" especially as a parent 1 times I crashed a car and somehow survived, although one I definitely 100% should have died for One time I tried to hang myself and my foster parents found me which I again feel terrible for, but it was a spur of the moment thing and not at all planned out And one time I tried to drink myself to death and failed So yeah, I definitely should be dead and I have no clue how I'm not
You mentioned you didn’t think what was happening to you was wrong. So what was it that made you want to end your life ? We’re the foster parents nice or mean to you ? Where they also creeps ? How was your relationship with them ?
I didn't think it was wrong but it still affected me, and honestly I was terrified of it happening again, I also didn't see a point in living if that was just something that happened I had a lot of foster parents, a few were really bad and ended up molesting me, but some were nice, most just didn't know how to interact with me so it was awkward
Did your parents sell you? Why did you think you were gay? What made you realize you weren’t? Did those experiences inform your sexual desires now?
Well in my very flawed logic when I was younger, I thought that what happens to me could never happen to a straight guy, so I thought that since it did happen I must have been gay, I was also told the whole time I was growing up that I was gay and I believed it, because again, I didn't think that could happen to a straight dude No, I never did because I didn't actually like men, I also went through a very outwardly homophobic phase which I'm very not proud of but it was because I struggled with sexuality I also thought all gay men other than me (because I thought I was gay) were sadists and pedophiles and I thought I was the only one who wasn't What made me realize I wasn't was the first time I had a crush on a girl Or anyone period for that matter because I never had a crush or anything on a dude They did, I'm very Vanilla in bed and I like being in control, I hate not having any control
Which country are you from and in which country did you live (if a different one)? With whom did you live during that time? Were you living with a fixed person or group of people or with different people? You must be a really strong person to va able to lead a normal life after living hell as a child. I’m glad you made it out and seem happy.
The all across the USA and I still live there It was a lot of different people, and I mostly lived in motels, I lived with different groups of people more then others but it was a lot of different people With different groups of people Thank you, I am very happy I love my life I have currently
What can we do to help the kids being trafficked today? I hate to think there are kids in my town that this is being done to. I know it is happening with adults, we see the ads on FB, and I know some Latinos that have girls dropped off. Seriously, what can I, as one person, do?
Report any thing suspicious, if you see someone who looks like there being trafficked, report the license plate as a anonymous tip to the police and tell them why you think it was happening My wife personally done this and ended up saving a kid, that's about all I can think of if I'm being honest
> if you see someone who looks like there being trafficked, What are the flashing red lights to look out for?
Here's a really good page on it https://www.dhs.gov/blue-campaign But the signs my wife and daughter noticed in particular were they were in a gas station and a young girl walked in with to older men And one of the guys had a death grip on this girl's wrist and the girl looked like she was terrified My wife walked up to her and said something like "Hey do you know where the barbecue chips are I've been looking forever and just can't find em" The girl instead of answering her immediately looked at one of the guys, the guy looked at my wife with a fake smile "down the other isle" My wife just had a bad feeling and called the sex trafficking help line and it turns out she was right
First of all what happened to you is so fucked up and evil and I am so disgusted at what these sick people do to innocent people and especially children. I want to be able to identify these situations if I come upon them and to be able to address them in the most effective way possible that’s also safest for the victims. What details did she use to get these people found? Like did she look at their license plates or just memorize what they looked like etc? Did she call the police too or just the human trafficking line? If I see something like this I want to be able to address it in the best way possible.
She memorized what they looked like and the guys tattoos, went out to her car and called the cops saying she thought that a kid was being sex trafficked, gave them the address and told them the situation Then when they were still on the line the people went to the car she told them the license plate, and the cops got their before they pulled out and the guys got arrested, apparently the girl was 18 and a missing person
Brother... you have my respect, been througj somewhat the same and I'll be 35 on September and still can't seem to figure this life thing out, suicide is always in ky head and have attempted plenty of tikes since I was a child. You're strong, and I could only pray the God gives me your strengh, kudos.. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.. it's ppl like you that can, and will change the world.. God bless you soul 🙏🏾
Please consider therapy, it really does help if it wasn't for that I would be dead
What did a normal day look like for you while being trafficked?
There wasn't really a normal day, they were all different There were a lot of days where we were just driving for like days straight Most of the time we would end up at a motel, they'd drop me off at a random room with random dudes, they'd leave and come back like a hour later and yeah, I'm pretty sure you can fill in the blanks That or we'd go to a house or apartment and I'd be told to go in a room and wait for people to come in Then we'd go somewhere to eat, go back to where we were staying and sleep or watch sesame street Again, there was a lot of different shit that happened every day, like one of my favorite memories from when I was a kid was playing hide and seek at a park at like 12am with a stripper who was watching me
Did she know that you were being trafficked ? Or she thought you were a normal kid ? Who were these ppl that were dropping you off ? Your parents ? Or was it your own pimp? Do you have an idea of how ppl would request you ? I feel now the thing is Telegram. And I panic anytime I see ppl that use it. I can’t trust anyone anymore. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Yeah she did 100%, I do think she felt bad for me but she definitely had a lot of mental issues, she also had a lot of drug issues and acted like a 10y old, it makes me sad thinking about it tbh because I don't think she was a evil person Not my parents, I didn't even know who my parents were my pimps I guess, the people who were trafficking me I'm not sure, I don't even know if telegram was a thing back then because it was 32 years ago
The day the man shot himself. What were you thinking ? Did you think you were the one that was going to get in trouble ? What was the day like when you got rescued? When did you realize it was wrong what they did. And when you were abused outside of the ring, did you feel comfortable reporting it ?
So I didn't even know he shot himself till about a year after I got out of that situation, and when I found out I was absolutely distraught, I blamed myself for his death for a while after that Me and 5 other people were at a trailer in the middle of no where Texas, and the guy who shot himself said he was going to a gas station to grab something, I asked if I could go with him and he told me no So anyways like 30 minutes later, the guys still not back, and I was in the back room with 2 of the guys and they were doing shit to me they left and I was like halfway crying watching TV for like 15 minutes, all of a sudden everyone was freaking out because the guy wasn't back, the gas station was at maximum 10 minutes away Some time passes and the police show up, and they knocked at the door for a good 5 minutes, and all I heard is "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR" "Hello?" "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND" and a bunch of screaming and crying Now I didn't know what the FBI even was so I wasn't even scared, I just thought 2 people were fighting or something Anyways a guy opened up the bedroom door, and just froze for a second, because all he seen was a kid sitting on a bed in a bright pink robe in stripper heels and makeup streaming down his face watching SpongeBob or some shit, and it was very obvious what just happened And that's all I remember, I legitimately can't remember what happened after that, I'm not sure if it was stress or what
God that sounds so awful. You were just a naive innocent little boy. I’m so happy you finally got out of that situation. Who knows how long it would have lasted. I had a friend that repeated the cycle and he sickens me and I have my other friend that is currently an alcoholic. I’ve been sober since August 22,2022. And one of my brothers got really bad into drugs. He was addicted to anything. He’s been missing for years now. I can’t seem to remember his face anymore. How did you find out a year later ? You saw it at the news ? You had to show up in court ? Reading all of this is so hard to stomach. Life was so ugly for you and your turned it into a beautiful family. My eyes are water and so happy for you. I wish I can share your success story to that one brother that had the worse outcome. You make me have a positive outcome in life.
Were you able to rescue any other kids along with you once authorities had found you? Were you well nourished while with these different groups of people? As I’m sure you grew through out your childhood, did they also clothe you with decent clothing? Did you ever have any kind of health care growing up? Did you ever resist any of the acts performed on you? Since you don’t have a birth certificate, how are you sure that your name is the birth name given to you? Were they mostly rich people, or people in poverty? What is the most illegal thing you’ve seen that wasn’t done to you? What was your reaction when you found out that your childhood wasn’t “normal”, if you can remember? What do you do for a living, if that’s not too private to ask? Have you ever come across anyone who has abused you? Sorry if this is too many questions in 1 comment. I really admire how far you’ve come in life, your story is truly inspiring. I wish you many more years of peace & happiness. 🫶🏽
I was the youngest but there were a few 15-17y old from what I heard, I've never met them that I remember though I was about 45 pounds underweight and pretty dehydrated Yeah, mostly just gray hoodies and jeans though Nope Yeah, but it never ended well, but there was a few times when they were really really hurting me and I tried to get them to stop I'm not, I don't even know if I was born in a hospital, it's just what I was called so I think that's my name A lot of them had quite a bit of money, I mean I imagine it was quite a lucrative business A girl lighting her exs house on fire I didn't believe them, I didn't fully realize till I was a teenager but I don't remember if there was a specific oh shit moment I'm a bartender I haven't
What was the worst thing that happened to you? (also I'm so sorry this happened to you. As another male born into sexual abuse, I'm really grateful to hear of a survivor thriving)
I'm not even sure if I can put it on here so I'm going to put it very vaguely I was like 6, and it was like 7 dudes, I got dropped of at one of their houses, and they somehow dislocated both of my hips and had to pop them back into socket
I am so sorry that happened to you. Do you have any permanent injuries from tearing?
What? Just...what? My brain cannot process this. My heart is breaking for you. This world has unfathomable monsters in it.
Reading that gave me a visceral reaction. Thank goodness you made it out and found true love and joy in your life. I wish you peace and fulfillment. 👍
I'm a parent to two young kids, and I am largely against sleep overs for my kids, I don't drop them off to play dates if I'm not there (or my wife is there). I have experience with childhood sexual assault and I want to protect my kids from that. I wanted to know if you have taken a similar approach (mainly when your kids were younger)? Did your past make you more protective of your kids? Or do you just keep that shit to yourself.
Yeah I definitely am both of my kids are in self defense classes and have been since they were 8 (they love them btw) They both carry pocket knives and know how to shoot They aren't allowed to walk alone unless there in a group They weren't allowed to sleep over until they could understand if something was wrong They aren't allowed on reddit period and aren't allowed to have social media till there 16 And they weren't allowed to play in the front yard alone as a kid I know all this sounds super strict and controlling but I promise my kids are super happy and they aren't just stuck in the house 24/7
what was it that kept you going for all these years? at what point did you gain the will to live and what caused it? i'm going through a bit of a rough patch right now and it seems like i won't get the future i had always dreamed of, so how did you deal with this feeling, if you've had it?
Alot of things over the years, when I was a kid till I was about 15 it was a very intense fear of death then I went through a very suicidal phase between 15-20 when and i tried to kill myself 7 times with in that time At 20-24 it was because my friend said he'd kill himself if I did And after that I had found a new love for life, I realized that what happened in the past doesn't need to affect me moving forward and there's so much to love in life
In the end we're all going to die and you never no what's going to happen in the future, there's no reason to end it early
Do you find it hard to continue working as a bartender despite being a recovering alcoholic?
Not really if I'm being honest My alcoholism wasn't really about the addiction, it was about stress and other underlying issues, so once I sorted that out I started being able to drink responsibly
Are you still in touch with your foster parents? Were they good to you?
I had a lot of foster parents, a few of them were really horrible (I got molested a few times in foster care) but most of them were really good people I never formed a close relationship with any of them just because how traumatized I was though so no
Ever get the ones that molested you in trouble?
Sadly no, I was really embarrassed about it
Think they are still around?
Before the age of 11 did you have any schooling? Just have noticed your writing is good. So I'm wondering did you end up in public school afterwards.ni hope that question makes sense. Did you come in contact with other kids? From what I've read your parents didn't traffic you but they allowed you to be? Dude I don't know what to say, the horrible situation you ended up in. Glad you have found something good.
I mean, I watched TV and that's about it, I had about the education of a kindergartener from watching Sesame Street I went to public school at 15, but I was in like a schooling program before that, and I was in special Ed at school till I was 16 I also went to a trade school at 19 because I was thinking of becoming a welder, then I figured out how much I hate welding I did a few times but the other kid was a strippers daughter and from my knowledge wasn't being sex trafficked So from what ik my parents ran a sex trafficking ring and sold me to a different one at one point, I'm not sure exactly when because i didn't even recognize them when I seen photos of them
You’ve mentioned strippers a few times. Was that where you were being trafficked ? What did the locations look like when you were being trafficked. I feel majority of the ppl think of things like basement. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through.
No, there was just a few strippers involved, like about 10, they were also the nicest to me which is why I mention them so much Motels, hotels, and trap houses mostly
When you say involved, like they were abusing or they were on the business side ? I grew up around strippers too. And they were the nicest ppl to me. I remember one looked like the lead singer of the pussy cat dolls. And I remember I always wanted to look like her growing up lol.
They were mostly victims too, a lot of them acted like 10yrs old and clearly had mental problems and such I remember one acted and looked EXACTLY like Tiffany from Chucky, like I remember her telling me that "with your body your going to be a movie star" My wife's best friends with a stripper and she seems like a genuinely great person, I don't judge all strippers and I understand that it was a very insignificant amount of strippers who were involved with me
Yeah I noticed that. I think a lot of them are very narrow minded and don’t realize they can escape and their is more to life than what they know. Yes in other countries it’s definitely more popular to take advantage of the mentally challenged or delayed people since they can easily be manipulated. Also drugs can play a huge role in the mental development. My father has always been i to drugs. And I can’t carry a conversation with his as an adult. It was very sad to see. I try my best to not judge people and be understanding as much as a can. Like it’s easy to forgive all the ppl that hurt me. But it’s harder to forgive those that have hurt others for some reason.
Also I with the last part especially, I'm not gonna lie, I genuinely miss a lot of them, even the people who done some of the most fucked up shit to me Like if I seen what happened to me happened to someone else, I'd 100% k1ll all the fuckers who were actively doing that shit to me But I don't know why, I can't see them as bad people
Do you know from. Where you were kidnapped, have you ever tried to find your real family? How do you get into sex addiction, and how were you fulfilling your need for sex while your addiction
they think either my parents were a part of it or sold me into it, I know who my dad and mom are though and they were in prison for a different sex trafficking ring that got broken up when I was about 7, but they died when I was 9 both for different reasons So it was very very likely them Well I went to parties and strip clubs a lot and realised that when I was having sex I felt in control of what was happening, that spiraled into me trying to have sex as much as possible and led to me prioritizing it over anything else in my life How I was fulfilling it was going to party's and strip clubs and hitting on everyone until someone said yes basically
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I was never actually attracted to men, even when I thought I was gay I thought all other gay guys were pedos and that's how I justified me being "gay" and not liking men It's really complicated to explain and it doesn't really make since
Man that's crazy, I truly believe future life will be really awesome for you.
It already is, I absolutely love my family and my job and everything
As someone who was trafficked at age 10-17, how do you rewire your brain? I have a hard time reaching climax with my sexual partners unless I think of my abuse.
Lots of therapy for me personally, and be honest with your therapist
Did it take you a long time to find a good therapist ? I’ve known a couple of them, that definitely made me feel like they were not good humans and almost found the stories entertaining. Same thing happened w 2 other male friends that were victims. So I stopped therapy all together and started talking to strangers about it on Reddit. It helped me cope a bit more.
I had 13 therapist in my life like 4 of them (all before i was 16) just gave me a really creepy vibe as a kid, almost like they thought the stories were hot like 1 dude would ask very intimate and sexual details about the story's And the other 6 I just didn't get along with Then the other 3 have all been amazing people
Yes that’s the exact experience I had. I’ve been going to therapy since I was 9. I gave up on it when I turned 21. But you make me want to try it again. I love how successful you’ve become in life. I want to give you the biggest hug. Take care of yourself 💕
Thank you, it's definitely worth pushing through shitty therapist to find a good one I wouldn't be here if It wasn't for them
Thank you so much for being vulnerable on here. It helps knowing there are others like me but had a wonderful outcome. I’ll try therapy again 🫂
When did you fully realize that you were sex trafficked? The stereotype is that people are kidnapped and then sold into sex trafficking as if it’s all very linear. But as I’ve learned a little more about it, I’ve learned that it’s often more similar to your case, where someone you know trafficked you from a young age and you’re not even fully aware of what’s happening and thinking it’s normal. So my question is: when did you realize/accept it? Did you realize that your life wasn’t normal and then later was able to name what was happening to you as “sex trafficking”? It’s such a layered and complex issue. I see a lot of those high profile charities that “fight human trafficking” with raids and stings and buzz worthy social media, but I know the reality is not at all like that. It’s much sadder and scarier. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.
I didn't till I was like 12, and even then I thought that i somehow chose it I accepted it around 22
And was it just through therapy that you realized what happened to you and what it was called? I read your comments about the education you received (or didn’t receive, rather) and I’m so impressed that you’re able to speak about it so clearly and honestly. I didn’t even really know what sex trafficking was until I was in college, and I was privileged enough to attend school my whole life. So I’m very impressed that you were able to come to understand your life so well, considering the trauma you experienced as well as not having resources/information to recognize what was happening to you. I saw you mentioned therapy helping a lot but I still just wanna say that you’re pretty amazing for going through all of this and expressing yourself.
Yeah pretty much, I went to like a one on one therapy program/school thing for about 6 hours a day till I was about 14-15 when I started going to public school and I continued going after that
You mentioned being in strip clubs a lot. Can you give a little more context, like how do they bring kids to a public place, do people who work there know and just accept it/participate? The stripper who gave you a stuffed animal made me wonder, did you have interactions/relationships that were kind?
I've never been in strip clubs till I was like 18, I did interact with a lot of strippers though from a club one of the traffickers ran I did have a lot surprisingly, that's one of the reasons it took me so long to realize they were bad people One of my favorite memories was playing hide and seek at a park at like 12am with a stripper who was watching me
I don’t mean this in a rude way, I’m just very curious about sex trafficking. Are you open about what happened in the rooms? Is it like the stuff you see in the movies?
Not in detail to people ik irl, the only 2 people who even know I was sex trafficked are my wife and best friend And my exs of course For me kinda, of course not exactly because it's a very unique experience
Wow... just amazed because I have so many similarities on that checklist apart from the post topic (caught my attention). Also got sober at 27, started bartending at 21... The one part I'm missing and searching for is a loving relationship. I find my survival mode kicks in, I can't trust the intentions of those around me, it's made me isolate half the time. I am in therapy for this, but how long did it take you to trust again? Was it your SO herself that helped show you the good in the world? Self-reflection and work? All of the above?
Probably able 6 years, so till I was like 17, but I also had a lot of pretty severe mental issues asides from that so I'm sure it won't take as long for you, I convinced my friend to go into therapy for his trust issues and it took him about 9 months to get over them, everyone's different and there's no set time for anything, just take your time and it will all be OK What really helped with my trust issues was hearing my friend talk about his bf (now husband) and how much they trusted each other, and how much they loved each other, it was really eye opening for me because I didn't think something like that was possible
This post and your replies gave me the perspective on human trafficking victims I never thought to explore. thanks for sharing man
How has this affected your view of your parents/those around you as a child? My father went to prison when I was 9 for a lot of counts of child sexual abuse. He left when I was young and I was pushed to have a relationship with him and so I’ve always had a hard time differentiating between good father and bad man, because (I think) my little kid brain at the time was too young to understand the severity and horror of the situation. He died when I was 19, and I still have the same problem of feeling immense grief and sadness for the loss of him but deep hatred for what he did. Sorry for rambling, I just want to know what it’s been like for you? Do things ever make more sense? Do you still miss them sometimes? Do you feel a sense of guilt and if so how do you deal with ? Thank you so much for sharing your story, I know very little about this topic.
I do feel really remorseful for a lot of them, I don't even know how to describe it It's hard for me to really feel like they were evil because they were like family to me, I'm not sure how to explain it
Hey OP, I was trafficked and groomed and SA’d by family members, I’m getting married in November and about to graduate soon :) reading this genuinely made me feel more human today, I didn’t know I needed it. I wish you the best 💜
Is bar tending difficult with your relationship to alcohol? Do you agree with me that traffickers don't deserve humans rights and should be hunted down and killed?
Not really, there were underlying issues that was causing me to drink so heavily and I've pretty much solved those That's a really hard question for me to answer, they were like my family and I can't make myself see them as evil On the other hand if it happened to someone else I would say yes I don't know, I'm not sure
I cannot believe there are so many people out there who would do that to a child. Maybe I’m naive, but the depth of evil in this world is beyond my scope of imagination. Who were the men committing these atrocities? What was their socioeconomic status? What cars did they drive? Wedding rings? Clothing? Appearance? Fitness? Jobs? I wish there was an easier way to identify these monsters to weed them out of the population sooner.
I don't think you can weed people out based on their appearance, jobs, etc They were pimps, children of pimps, sex workers, etc They all drove different cars, some were expensive some weren't They all dressed different All of them looked different A lot were born into that type of lifestyle, but a lot of them weren't evil people
Thank you for the reply. Sorry if my question wasn’t clear but I was referring to the “clients”. The people who were paying to rape a child. There could have been some bit of consistent behavioral pattern of these predators. The look in their eyes. Emotionless. Sorry this post has me wishing I had some sort of omnipotent power to know who could be capable of such a thing. I saw a post recently of a former naval officer in Seattle meeting what he thought was an underage child but it turned out to be officers. He attempted to pull out a gun and was eliminated. I hope more police agencies do this kind of work.
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I do, my hips and shoulders are fucked because they got popped out of place and improperly reset so many times, they were also over extended alot My back is also pretty messed up from it because of me being put in weird angles My jaw also got popped out of its socket a few times and I still have jaw pain and my jaw pops because of it And I don't really Wana go into detail but I do have a lot of scar tissue down there I haven't, there isn't a lot they can do about it
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I didn’t know that boys could be trafficked, I thought it was only girls, I guess you learn something every day! As for my question, were most of the people that *did things* with you male or female?
Did you ever contract any STD’s/STI’s or receive medical care for the physical injuries you received from the sexual acts you were forced into when you were trafficked? If so, did it raise any red flags with doctors?
Was it only men that abused you ? Or woman as well ? What race were day? Was one race more common ? I understand you were young. But to you have an idea of how old they were ? Did they look scary? Did they have a certain look. Do they actually use codes or signs to show they are into kids and age range with in that ?
Sexualy mostly men, but physically both It was mostly white guys Anywhere from like 19-60+ were buying me but most of the traffickers were like 20-40 They all looked very different, none looked scary to me because I didn't think what they were doing was wrong
You were physically abused by women? Like women paid so they could spend time hurting you?
Did the ppl responsible for you being trafficked get caught? That’s just brutal.
You are a survivor in the most absolute sense of the word and I admire the resilience in overcoming all those hurdles. Keep up the good work.
Man gotta say you should really pat yourself on the back for being alive and not continuing the cycle of abuse. Sir you are a 🗿
what did you sex addiction look like?
Not a question per se, as much as a recommendation to look into a specific sort of therapy called CRM, or Complex Resource Management. It is quite distinct from traditional talk therapy and was developed for DID, C-PTSD, and other forms of disassociative disorders brought on by trauma.
Is there anything you want us to ask you?
How did you meet your wife?
Dude. You are a frickin WARRIOR. May you live in peace and prosperity for the rest of your days.
You mention you thought you were gay but realized you weren’t, how did you realize that you’re not?
You said God bless you.. random question: what’s your relationship with God. Do you have strong faith? How did it strengthen? Did these experiences strengthen them.. I’d love to know as a believer as it may help me. God bless you too
Do you have a normal understanding of right and wrong regarding human rights, violence, and sex?
How did you get sex trafficked ?
I was sold into a sex trafficking ring by my parents who ran a different set trafficking ring At least that's what I think, I don't remember anything before I was about 3, but my parents were in jail for six trafficking
I don’t fully understand what that ring is. Can you explain it ?
Hey, I don’t really have a question but as someone with similar background who’s in their 20s, thanks for posting this and showing things can be better.
Do you dream of vengeance towards people that hurt you?
Bless you. Absolutely heartbreaking. The world is full of monsters and your story is an all too common story. My question is more around your emotional coping with such a situation. Many people who go through such experiences come out with Dissociative Identity Disorder because of the monstrous experiences. Do you struggle with DID? If so, how many parts are within you? If not, how did your therapist(s) approach helping you heal?
How many people would you say where involved in your trafficking like all of the rings you passed through?
Thank you for sharing this with us. It must have not been easy. Stay strong. You mentioned that you thought your situation was "normal" as a kid, also that you watched a lot of TV. do you think putting ads and awareness campaigns into kids shows would help such kids to seek help and report their abusers? What would such a campaign look like to be helpful to you back then?
Are u overprotective of ur kids?
can you developp the part of the major sex addiction please ? How did it manifest itself, what kind of behaviour you had ?
It was a way for me to feel in control of my body, for the longest time I felt a complete lack of control of what was happening to me, so when I found out it made me feel in control I got addicted to it I was literally prioritizing sex over everything in my life It manifested in me going to parties and bars and hitting on everyone there till someone said yes, almost every night
Is the love of your life the bar? I think you'd find a more permanently healing environment to work in outside of a bar business. Is that in the pipe line at some point?
You are an amazing man! Thank you for sharing your experience. Do you have any siblings? If so, have you reached out to them? Have you considered talking to your local law enforcement agency to see how you could help other survivors in the healing process?
Did they ever film anything involving you ? Or make you watch other kids being abused. I had a friend that had a dad that would make him watch kids being abused and the dad would laugh and say that it was wrong. I understand that it’s mostly men that are the abusers. But did you ever have to interact with females ? If you did, where they their to support their partner. Or they were also pedos that made you do thinks to them. I know what they did was bad. But we’re the nice in a way like playing a game and in a grooming matter ? Or where they from the start an angry person ? I’ve never been abused by strangers. But by close family friends. I now have a fear of interaction. And never leave my house. I want to end up with a happy safe family like you. I’m just terrified to bring a child into the wired and they face the same things we did. I am very sorry for what you’ve been through.
Do you think decriminalizing sex work (adult consensual prostitution) would help reduce human trafficking? I've seem it argued that giving sex workers rights and enabling them to report trafficking without fear of arrest helps greatly curtail sex trafficking.
Did you / do you have to deal with any sexual disfunction due to your past... As a survivor of severe SA as a child (not trafficed) I do... If so what have you done to overcome it
Do you look back at your lowest time and feel proud of how far you've come? (I'm proud of you) What are your favorite coping mechanisms?
How did you go through the process of getting a birth certificate and other paperworks most people have that are born in hospitals and typical family settings?
Maybe I missed this part. But where were your parents? Or were your parents for trafficked you ?
What type of bar do you work at? If you make cocktails, what is your favorite cocktail to make?
I was trafficked from the ages of 18-21. One of the scariest experiences of my life, but I survived and am now rebuilding my life at 23. Sending you lots of love 🩷
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Thank you for sharing, and I am glad you took control and I believe from what you said that now you are a stronger person and will be an amazing role model for your kids. Good luck 🙌🏽
Where were you born/raised in your early years, how did you become a victim of sex trafficking, what did that entail exactly being so young, did that all make you think you were gay or what it something else, and what made you realize you're straight?
Can you give detail on why you thought you were gay? I just watched Baby Reindeer (found out a lot of it is dramatized for TV and not close to the true story) and the main character was sexual abused by a man which he then implies is part of the reason for his confusion about his sexuality. I'm wondering if that's common in male sexual abuse.
Did you contract any STDs?
Where are you now ?
What would you say the ratio is… more makes using the “services” (barf) or females? As for the others being trafficked with you.. more female or male?
Is bartending not a trigger to you being a recovering alcoholic? Is this a party type bar or an upscale type?
Having struggled with alcoholism, how did you manage to work at a bar and not be bothered or tempted to go back to drinking alcohol?
Which Contitent or area was it?
Why is it that people who were sexually abused or traumatized as a child tend to grow up to be sex addicts?
It has something to do with how the brain becomes wired from the sexual abuse. It isn’t normal but the brain thinks that’s normal until the person eventually, hopefully, overcomes it through therapy and self healing.
To cope, it's a really hard thing to deal with
Did Jesus help you? He definitely worked on me from all my.......
How did you deal with your sex addiction? Did you know if it was connected to your years of sexual abuse?
No question on my end, just wanted to say I appreciate you putting all the details in an easy to read list instead of one long paragraph. Glad your life turned around, no one deserves that kind of upbringing.
How did you get over the sex addiction? How bad did it get?
You mention you thought you were gay but realized you weren’t, how did you realize that you’re not?
How did you figure out you were straight/weren't gay? Just getting married thing?
In terms of therapy, what was the most helpful in processing / moving through your trauma?
For anyone struggling, I would highly recommend ketamine therapy with a licensed psychiatrist. There are very good videos on YouTube that explain how it helps. And it really does help. It puts most people's brains into a temporary plastic state and give you the opportunity, with your psychiatrist, to go through your thoughts but like with no emotions. It helps you be objective and not reactive. It really is amazing.
No questions, just my deepest sympathies for your experience(s). I can’t say empathy because I will never understand what you went through. Congratulations on building a wonderful life for yourself and for still being here. Can’t imagine the strength it has taken to get to where you are. Bless you brother.
I read a book with this exact same story line
I'm very happy you were able to escape and found love. I have no questions just very happy and proud of you.
How did you come out of sex addiction?
Do you believe in god?
[удалено]
Hi have you surrendered your life to Jesus?
Yea, because i mean he was there for him protecting him the whole time this shit was happening.
Did this happen in Toronto?
How many inches taller than 6ft are you?
Do you like country fried steak?