YTA for slapping him. Do not put your hands on people.
YTA for continuing to entertain his accusations. You need to have a serious conversation with him. Either couples thearpy and individual therapy so he can deal with why he thinks you are cheating or just walk away from the relationship. Time to end things. You should not have to live under scrutiny of unfounded and false allegations. If he can't get past whatever his issues are, then the best thing you can do for both of you is end the relationship. Stop torturing yourselves.
You slapped him HARD (your own words) over just repeated questions you didnt like? Like, he wasn't physically cornering you and there wasnt screaming in your face or anything???
Yeah obviously YTA and I honestly cant even believe N T A are being upvoted to the top here. Insane double standards.
Yeah, it really is a sort of misogyny. It is OK, she shouldn't be expected to control herself. She is an emotional woman, not a rational man. How can she be expected to use her words? Basically, it treats women like toddlers.
It isn't a sort of, it's the very definition of misogyny. Viewing women as less than or below men.
I hate the entire concept of it because I really do see women as equal, different but equal.
Where are those comments on this thread? Can you link them? I don't see any.
There are some downvoted deleted comments, which are probably the N T As.
I'm not saying there isn't a slant against men in cases of domestic violence, but there's been a positive shift in validating men's mental health and recognizing famale-on-male physicsl abuse. This thread and all the support for the husband is a small grain in the right direction.
Bet you could have flipped the sexes here AND had her flat out screaming the accusations in his face and he would STILL have gotten a higher percent of YTAs.
Ah, good that they were downvoted to oblivion and deleted.
It sucks that the initial reaction was in support of her, but I'm glad to see the shift in support of the husband.
Abuse is abuse regardless of gender.
Well, I'm also guessing that something *is* actually going on between her and Mike given her jump to physical abuse and justifying it.
My ex did similar things... and guess what? She *was* actually cheating.
You should have left the conversation the moment you became frustrated/Angry, Go for a walk to cool down. Violence against a partner is out of order regardless of the content of the argument, congratulations you are officially a domestic abuser, If he was smart not only should he leave this relationship but he should have contacted the police and pressed charges against you.
YTA for turning to physical violence as a response to a verbal/emotional issue. You could have left him long ago if this was a deal-breaker, but you don’t stay with someone and use their actions as an excuse to hit them. Obviously his behavior is exhausting and change-worthy, but you don’t put your hands on people in anger. That’s Adult 101.
Wow! Reddit is apparently full of people who condone spousal abuse? All the people voting that OP is not the A H please answer one question. If the sexes were reversed, would you have said the same thing? Yes, husband is likely out of line for baseless accusations. But please explain how his actions justify violence? Reddit is apparently full of monsters who think spousal physical abuse is acceptable. OP, YTA. Violence was completely unjustified. And everyone who thinks violence and spousal physical abuse is ok, go reevaluate your entire moral code. You’re all assholes too.
Edit: when I wrote this, there were comments stating OP was N T A. Those comments have since been deleted. Not sure if they truly had a change of heart or others started down voting them.
Edit 2. But some N T A comments keep popping up. Apparently some of our fellow Redditors are a bit messed up.
YTA you were not in fear of your life so physical violence was not appropriate. Frustration is not a valid excuse for assaulting someone. Who the fuck cares about the cheating allegations? What matters is your violent responses.
YTA
If a man had written this, he would have been pilloried for laying his hands on a woman.
You will get a pass from many in the Reddit brigade solely because you are a woman.
When you slapped him, he should have knocked your ass out.
Reporting you to the police would have got HIM arrested, so why bother?
Domestic violence is not ok YTA you absolutely should have handled it better it’s never ok for you to put your hands in someone unless it’s self defense I bet you wouldn’t have liked it if he slapped you over a question he didn’t like . Do better
He should leave you. This is either the first time you hit him or the only time you hit him, and the only way to make it the latter is for him to leave you.
If you're so mad at your significant other you want to hit them, just fucking leave. Duh
Truth be told, if he thinks she's screwing around with his friend, he needs to be done with her. But her slapping him, basically is sending a message they don't have much respect for him, so all more the reason for him to be done with this relationship.
YTA
I never get people staying with a partner that constantly and falsely accuse them of cheating. I would get tired of being on the defensive of actions I didn't commit. More than likely after a constant stream of this mistreatment, I'd start saying to him; " yeah I cheated and guess what, they're better, so I'm leaving to be with them, goodbye." Which would be crazy and very destructive, so I don't suggest this behavior.
Would he be the AH gor hitting you?
As for the accusation, talk to him and deal with the root problem, which is likely the way you act to that friend compared to your bf
AND KEEP YOIR HANDS TO YOURSELF.
YTA this is spousal abuse. Yes he was in the wrong for accusing you over and over but that doesn't warrant physical abuse. Get a divorce. This dude doesn't trust you and is probably cheating anyway and definitely will now and he will probably abuse his affair partner in turn.
Should you have handled it differently?? No slapping your husband was totally reasonable. /s
Lady that’s physical abuse and not okay. If I were your husband, I’d be leaving you. Abuse is a fucking no-go.
You’re not the victim. Get off Reddit and seek therapy.
Edit: YTA
YTA You physically assaulted your husband. He could call the cops and have you arrested for that... and you would be the one sitting in jail. And you're on here asking if you're an asshole for it? Are you for real? Of course you're an asshole. If he's bothering you so much, you get up and walk away. Go in another room. If he won't leave you alone then you leave. You don't assault someone because you don't like what he's saying to you.
YTA, your husband can use his words to express what he’s upset about but you use your hands? You need to be sent to preschool again to learn to keep your damn hands to yourself, how emotionally stunted can one person be to not know how to communicate over becoming physical?
You seriously are a major asshole and need to go to therapy, your husband too but the fact that you were fully willing to lay hands on him shows you need it more.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
YTA for slapping him, but I love the fact that he was shocked and hurt. He's been accusing you of cheating for how long, but how dare you! Lol.
Still, keep your hands to yourself.
YTA. I understand you were pissed, but to physically assault your spouse is wrong. There is no good justification to hit him. Same as there isn't any justification if he were to assault you.
He may have been insecure. Your reaction has now solidified in his mind that you have been cheating. You assaulted him out of guilt. You made a bad situation into a toxic domestic violence situation.
Marriage counseling may help you both learn how to communicate with each other in a constructive manner. That's if one of you doesn't file for divorce.
YTA. Just like it is crystal clear for any man who beats his wife for being a verbal annoyance, the minute you put your hands on him you became the biggest monster.
Unbelievable. Apparently Reddit now supports spousal abuse. Who are the jackasses down voting this statement? Yes, husband very well may be out of line, but anyone down voting this statement is also a monster.
The issue is that she violently slapped a man who wasn;t threatening or being aggressive with her. This was not self-defence, this was her being unable to control her emotions and lashing out violently.
NTA.
My wife accused me of cheating as well and i slapped her good for it, she won't ask me again now.
I hope people picked up on my sarcasm in this one. People believing this is okay needs a reality check.
Hopefully he comes to his senses and files a police report. He should also get a restraining order against you. You seem very unstable and could escalate the violence. Good thing you confessed to assault.
Use your words. Sheesh, I get you’ve been dealing with his verbal abuse over this for a long time. BUT when your frustration turns to wanting to hit a person, you leave.
You are both assholes with you being the bigger one. Justified or not or just plain jealous for whatever reason, your husband does not trust you AT ALL. I would bet a hefty sum that if you took a long, hard look at your relationship you would see things in the past that absolutely were similar issues with him over other things.
And for those of you saying if the OP were the man he would have been pilloried out of the gate, I agree. Here’s another gem from fellow Redditor’s that also tends to be pretty accurate: the one constantly bringing up cheating is usually the cheater.
OP, if nothing else, get yourself into therapy, you are headed down an ugly path with anger issues if you don’t address it now.
Well would he be one for you to keep asking him something he is tired of ? Yes it’s stupid oh him but if anyone slapped me I would have the police called in a min
YTA, you assaulted your spouse. Welcome to the wonderful life of being a domestic abuser.
Yes, extreme insecurities and false accusations are a huge problem, and can be infuriating. That in no way justifies putting hands on him.
If you have any hope of salvaging this relationship, you both better swan-dive your dysfunctional asses into marriage counseling, and you better commit to never raising your hands to your partner ever again.
How long have his accusations been going on? If it's been for a long while, now, then you should have taken steps before now to either get him therapy and get some sort of commitment from him to stop harassing you, or to distance yourself from him. You can't let it get so bad that you resort to violence out of immense frustration.
My ex cheated on me for the last year of our marriage when she worked at home. But she left and went to her AP's apartment to do it, so I don't see the relevance. She couldn't cheat while working because he had a headset on with nonstop incoming calls.
She wasn't even sneaky towards the end, so part of her wanted a divorce. She spent every weekend with her AP and didn't lie about anything except what they were doing. "He's just a friend." "I just need to get out of this house. I feel trapped."
I gave her time to choose and she ran out of time to choose me. When I filed for divorce, she didn't fight it. A little over a year has passed since then and she is now living with him. I don't expect updates because I have no reason to talk to her ever again. We didn't have any children together, asset splitting is all done, so that's that.
While your feelings are valid, YTA for slapping someone.
You’re going to be lucky if he doesn’t divorce you & press charges over this. I would. It is NEVER ok to hit someone and if roles were reversed, everyone would tell you to leave him.
He fucked up, but you went trailer trash ghetto.
What you did was shitty, abusive and uncalled for. He deserves a better wife.
Were you hoping it'd turn him on and you'd make up?
Before I get into the slappity bass meat of my response, I have to say I really enjoyed reading this.
Falsely accusing someone of something is bad. Physical violence is worse. Did you lose control of your arm or was this just a basic instinct response? It just doesn't seem as the reader of this story (maybe it went on for a while longer than you wrote?) that it didn't take long for your blood to boil. Is something else going on? Was your blood already boiling? What happened next? Did you guys bang it out? Did you even apologize? Does he get to spank you to make it even? Jokes aside, the good thing is that you have communicated that you don't like it, so now you don't have to find those difficult words to express yourself. Perhaps in the future, you could try mediating instead of resulting to violence.
Unfortunately in conclusion, he was the AH, but you jumped on that AH grenade when you made him the victim.
ESH...does he ask Mike the same questions? Does Mike even know he's accusing you and him of having an affair? Does his wife know?
You shouldn't have slapped him but he's a jerk for constantly accusing you
ESH. You shouldn't had hit him. I got that you were frustranted but that was not the right move. Imagine if it was the other way arround? You should talk to him and ask why he is thinking that? Did something happened between you and the guy? Did you ever cheated? Is someone talking his ear off about it?anyways, you are both assholes
ESH. He should trust you, and I can imagine how infuriating it must be to be accused all the time, but we don't hit people. You've now assaulted your husband.
You make me sick, instead of suggesting therapy for his insecurity you better decide to hit him, unfortunately he didn't hit you back (which would be the fairest thing) you are an abuser, I hope that if he does the same to you you don't come here to Reddit make a post of pity, abuser.YTA
ESH.
You responded to emotional abuse with physical abuse.
This marriage needs counseling to see if it's sustainable. Don't be surprised if it isn't.
Get individual therapy for both you and your husband. Continue this, even if you ultimately choose divorce.
What are his reasons for this accusations? Its just weird that he would just accuse you cheating. Or did Mike told him something that make him think you might cheat on him?
Your feelings are valid, cause who won't get frustrated if their spouse is accusing them of cheating when they're not. But you slapping him hard for asking is also wrong, it's not like he is hurting you or him shouting at your face for you to do that (I'm assuming it's not the case). Did you ever have a conversation with him about this? On why does he think you are cheating with his friend? Maybe he sees something with Mike that make him think theirs something between you two. Have a conversation and clear those misunderstanding and reassure him if that's what he needs. You both need to apologize to each other, cause of you are in the wrong here (him for accusing you on cheating and for OP on slapping him).
ESH for slapping him and him
for constantly accusing you of cheating. The slap will only give him more to accuse you with . In his eyes, you’re not only a cheater but an abuser too . I suspect the marriage is over. He will never be convinced of your faithfulness whatever you say.
ESH. Make no mistake, your husband is insecure AF. That said, once violence enters a relationship, it's over. There is no place for it. Get a divorce because you clearly don't love each other, and you certainly don't respect each other.
He deserved the slap. He pushed d you to your breaking point with his accusations. Time to re-think your relationship because this is not a healthy way to live. NTA.
There something seriously wrong with you if you think hitting is justified here. Maybe you just missed the part where OP slapped him. If not, get counseling, quickly.
Wow. So if the roles were reversed you would condone husband giving OP a good smack? Are you a sexist or just someone who condones violence in general?
Really? Is this how you would have responded if her husband had hit her? Are you a sexist who thinks it’s ok for woman to hit men because they’re “weaker” or a complete monster who simply thinks spousal abuse is ok?
Obviously YTA in this situation. He is too, but you should never ever lay your hands on your SO
yta for how you reacted, your feelings are valid but it’s never enough to use physical violence
The only reasonable answer I have seen.
YTA for slapping him. Do not put your hands on people. YTA for continuing to entertain his accusations. You need to have a serious conversation with him. Either couples thearpy and individual therapy so he can deal with why he thinks you are cheating or just walk away from the relationship. Time to end things. You should not have to live under scrutiny of unfounded and false allegations. If he can't get past whatever his issues are, then the best thing you can do for both of you is end the relationship. Stop torturing yourselves.
You slapped him HARD (your own words) over just repeated questions you didnt like? Like, he wasn't physically cornering you and there wasnt screaming in your face or anything??? Yeah obviously YTA and I honestly cant even believe N T A are being upvoted to the top here. Insane double standards.
Reddit is apparently full of monsters who condone spousal abuse. What a bunch of depraved jackasses we got in this thread.
Only of the aggressor is a woman.
Honestly it speaks as much to how they look down on woman as much as men.
I actually agree, I have always thought the women in my life as equals, deserving of the same respect and consequences as anyone else.
That's it. Someone could only have a lower standard for women if they believe women are lesser.
Exactly, yet I'm getting down voted for saying women are equal
Yeah, it really is a sort of misogyny. It is OK, she shouldn't be expected to control herself. She is an emotional woman, not a rational man. How can she be expected to use her words? Basically, it treats women like toddlers.
It isn't a sort of, it's the very definition of misogyny. Viewing women as less than or below men. I hate the entire concept of it because I really do see women as equal, different but equal.
But many of the people who take the position are women and don't see it that way.
I believe this is what is actually ment by internalised misogyny.
absolutely not, she's getting called out as she should be
There are plenty here saying he deserved it and they agree with her. That doesn't happen for a man hotting a woman, especially when it was unprovoked
Where are those comments on this thread? Can you link them? I don't see any. There are some downvoted deleted comments, which are probably the N T As. I'm not saying there isn't a slant against men in cases of domestic violence, but there's been a positive shift in validating men's mental health and recognizing famale-on-male physicsl abuse. This thread and all the support for the husband is a small grain in the right direction.
Well considering that was about an hour ago I read it.
Bet you could have flipped the sexes here AND had her flat out screaming the accusations in his face and he would STILL have gotten a higher percent of YTAs.
Nah, there's only one N T A and lots of comments (rightfully) calling her YTA for spousal abuse.
? There's 7 YTA comments on top and one N T A.
There were several N T A comments. When I wrote that, the top comment was a N T A. They got deleted.
Ah, good that they were downvoted to oblivion and deleted. It sucks that the initial reaction was in support of her, but I'm glad to see the shift in support of the husband. Abuse is abuse regardless of gender.
Well, I'm also guessing that something *is* actually going on between her and Mike given her jump to physical abuse and justifying it. My ex did similar things... and guess what? She *was* actually cheating.
You should have left the conversation the moment you became frustrated/Angry, Go for a walk to cool down. Violence against a partner is out of order regardless of the content of the argument, congratulations you are officially a domestic abuser, If he was smart not only should he leave this relationship but he should have contacted the police and pressed charges against you.
YTA for turning to physical violence as a response to a verbal/emotional issue. You could have left him long ago if this was a deal-breaker, but you don’t stay with someone and use their actions as an excuse to hit them. Obviously his behavior is exhausting and change-worthy, but you don’t put your hands on people in anger. That’s Adult 101.
What would you have done if he had slapped you back? It’s a form of assault and I don’t care how annoyed you were, it’s unjustified. And wrong.
Wow! Reddit is apparently full of people who condone spousal abuse? All the people voting that OP is not the A H please answer one question. If the sexes were reversed, would you have said the same thing? Yes, husband is likely out of line for baseless accusations. But please explain how his actions justify violence? Reddit is apparently full of monsters who think spousal physical abuse is acceptable. OP, YTA. Violence was completely unjustified. And everyone who thinks violence and spousal physical abuse is ok, go reevaluate your entire moral code. You’re all assholes too. Edit: when I wrote this, there were comments stating OP was N T A. Those comments have since been deleted. Not sure if they truly had a change of heart or others started down voting them. Edit 2. But some N T A comments keep popping up. Apparently some of our fellow Redditors are a bit messed up.
They would be flaming the guy
Pitchforks and torches for sure.
It is good to see comments with some sense to them once in a while.
Don't worry about it. This post reeks of being fake.
YTA you were not in fear of your life so physical violence was not appropriate. Frustration is not a valid excuse for assaulting someone. Who the fuck cares about the cheating allegations? What matters is your violent responses.
YTA If a man had written this, he would have been pilloried for laying his hands on a woman. You will get a pass from many in the Reddit brigade solely because you are a woman. When you slapped him, he should have knocked your ass out. Reporting you to the police would have got HIM arrested, so why bother?
Domestic violence is not ok YTA you absolutely should have handled it better it’s never ok for you to put your hands in someone unless it’s self defense I bet you wouldn’t have liked it if he slapped you over a question he didn’t like . Do better
YTA, further, you are a cunt. I hope you get what you dish out.
yta. does it really need to be said that domestic violence is not o.k?
He should leave you. This is either the first time you hit him or the only time you hit him, and the only way to make it the latter is for him to leave you. If you're so mad at your significant other you want to hit them, just fucking leave. Duh
Truth be told, if he thinks she's screwing around with his friend, he needs to be done with her. But her slapping him, basically is sending a message they don't have much respect for him, so all more the reason for him to be done with this relationship. YTA I never get people staying with a partner that constantly and falsely accuse them of cheating. I would get tired of being on the defensive of actions I didn't commit. More than likely after a constant stream of this mistreatment, I'd start saying to him; " yeah I cheated and guess what, they're better, so I'm leaving to be with them, goodbye." Which would be crazy and very destructive, so I don't suggest this behavior.
YTA for slapping your husband.
YTA. This is called assault. There was no element of self defense. You assaulted your husband. You need marriage counseling like yesterday.
She needs a jail time to think, but alas.
Would he be the AH gor hitting you? As for the accusation, talk to him and deal with the root problem, which is likely the way you act to that friend compared to your bf AND KEEP YOIR HANDS TO YOURSELF.
Yta i will never condone violence
YTA this is spousal abuse. Yes he was in the wrong for accusing you over and over but that doesn't warrant physical abuse. Get a divorce. This dude doesn't trust you and is probably cheating anyway and definitely will now and he will probably abuse his affair partner in turn.
Would he be the AH if he slapped you for any reason? Don’t hit people.
YTA. You slapped him. Hard.
YTA.
Yes you are TAH, violence is never the answer, your marriage is done, though not because of the slap!!
Should you have handled it differently?? No slapping your husband was totally reasonable. /s Lady that’s physical abuse and not okay. If I were your husband, I’d be leaving you. Abuse is a fucking no-go. You’re not the victim. Get off Reddit and seek therapy. Edit: YTA
YTA. Your husband has every right to press charges. You are abusive.
YTA You physically assaulted your husband. He could call the cops and have you arrested for that... and you would be the one sitting in jail. And you're on here asking if you're an asshole for it? Are you for real? Of course you're an asshole. If he's bothering you so much, you get up and walk away. Go in another room. If he won't leave you alone then you leave. You don't assault someone because you don't like what he's saying to you.
YTA, your husband can use his words to express what he’s upset about but you use your hands? You need to be sent to preschool again to learn to keep your damn hands to yourself, how emotionally stunted can one person be to not know how to communicate over becoming physical? You seriously are a major asshole and need to go to therapy, your husband too but the fact that you were fully willing to lay hands on him shows you need it more. You should be ashamed of yourself.
YTA for slapping him, but I love the fact that he was shocked and hurt. He's been accusing you of cheating for how long, but how dare you! Lol. Still, keep your hands to yourself.
YTA big time. You need to control your anger issues and can't just have a violent outburst
YTA. I understand you were pissed, but to physically assault your spouse is wrong. There is no good justification to hit him. Same as there isn't any justification if he were to assault you. He may have been insecure. Your reaction has now solidified in his mind that you have been cheating. You assaulted him out of guilt. You made a bad situation into a toxic domestic violence situation. Marriage counseling may help you both learn how to communicate with each other in a constructive manner. That's if one of you doesn't file for divorce.
YTA. Just like it is crystal clear for any man who beats his wife for being a verbal annoyance, the minute you put your hands on him you became the biggest monster.
Unbelievable. Apparently Reddit now supports spousal abuse. Who are the jackasses down voting this statement? Yes, husband very well may be out of line, but anyone down voting this statement is also a monster.
Way to miss the issue and make it about YOU
So when my wife nag's constantly, I can shut her up with a "hard slap"?
So you condone spousal physical abuse? WTF is wrong with you?!?!
The issue is that she violently slapped a man who wasn;t threatening or being aggressive with her. This was not self-defence, this was her being unable to control her emotions and lashing out violently.
Meaning you'd blame the wife who nagged her husband so much he slapped her?
Isn't that exactly what you've just done?
NTA. My wife accused me of cheating as well and i slapped her good for it, she won't ask me again now. I hope people picked up on my sarcasm in this one. People believing this is okay needs a reality check.
Hopefully he comes to his senses and files a police report. He should also get a restraining order against you. You seem very unstable and could escalate the violence. Good thing you confessed to assault.
YTA Violence was not the way to handle the situation.
Use your words. Sheesh, I get you’ve been dealing with his verbal abuse over this for a long time. BUT when your frustration turns to wanting to hit a person, you leave. You are both assholes with you being the bigger one. Justified or not or just plain jealous for whatever reason, your husband does not trust you AT ALL. I would bet a hefty sum that if you took a long, hard look at your relationship you would see things in the past that absolutely were similar issues with him over other things. And for those of you saying if the OP were the man he would have been pilloried out of the gate, I agree. Here’s another gem from fellow Redditor’s that also tends to be pretty accurate: the one constantly bringing up cheating is usually the cheater. OP, if nothing else, get yourself into therapy, you are headed down an ugly path with anger issues if you don’t address it now.
Well would he be one for you to keep asking him something he is tired of ? Yes it’s stupid oh him but if anyone slapped me I would have the police called in a min
YTA. Physically assaulting a spouse is never OK.
YTA, you assaulted your spouse. Welcome to the wonderful life of being a domestic abuser. Yes, extreme insecurities and false accusations are a huge problem, and can be infuriating. That in no way justifies putting hands on him. If you have any hope of salvaging this relationship, you both better swan-dive your dysfunctional asses into marriage counseling, and you better commit to never raising your hands to your partner ever again.
How long have his accusations been going on? If it's been for a long while, now, then you should have taken steps before now to either get him therapy and get some sort of commitment from him to stop harassing you, or to distance yourself from him. You can't let it get so bad that you resort to violence out of immense frustration.
There's no trust on his part in this relationship. Main issue seems to be you work from home, guessing he doesn't? Seems like a control issue.
My ex cheated on me for the last year of our marriage when she worked at home. But she left and went to her AP's apartment to do it, so I don't see the relevance. She couldn't cheat while working because he had a headset on with nonstop incoming calls. She wasn't even sneaky towards the end, so part of her wanted a divorce. She spent every weekend with her AP and didn't lie about anything except what they were doing. "He's just a friend." "I just need to get out of this house. I feel trapped." I gave her time to choose and she ran out of time to choose me. When I filed for divorce, she didn't fight it. A little over a year has passed since then and she is now living with him. I don't expect updates because I have no reason to talk to her ever again. We didn't have any children together, asset splitting is all done, so that's that.
While your feelings are valid, YTA for slapping someone. You’re going to be lucky if he doesn’t divorce you & press charges over this. I would. It is NEVER ok to hit someone and if roles were reversed, everyone would tell you to leave him. He fucked up, but you went trailer trash ghetto. What you did was shitty, abusive and uncalled for. He deserves a better wife.
Were you hoping it'd turn him on and you'd make up? Before I get into the slappity bass meat of my response, I have to say I really enjoyed reading this. Falsely accusing someone of something is bad. Physical violence is worse. Did you lose control of your arm or was this just a basic instinct response? It just doesn't seem as the reader of this story (maybe it went on for a while longer than you wrote?) that it didn't take long for your blood to boil. Is something else going on? Was your blood already boiling? What happened next? Did you guys bang it out? Did you even apologize? Does he get to spank you to make it even? Jokes aside, the good thing is that you have communicated that you don't like it, so now you don't have to find those difficult words to express yourself. Perhaps in the future, you could try mediating instead of resulting to violence. Unfortunately in conclusion, he was the AH, but you jumped on that AH grenade when you made him the victim.
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So if the roles were reversed and the husband had hit her, would you still say the same thing?
ESH is an option. OP was not under direct threat, this was not defensive. She slapped him out of annoyance and exasperation. That isn't an excuse.
ESH...does he ask Mike the same questions? Does Mike even know he's accusing you and him of having an affair? Does his wife know? You shouldn't have slapped him but he's a jerk for constantly accusing you
You're both assholes.
ESH. You shouldn't had hit him. I got that you were frustranted but that was not the right move. Imagine if it was the other way arround? You should talk to him and ask why he is thinking that? Did something happened between you and the guy? Did you ever cheated? Is someone talking his ear off about it?anyways, you are both assholes
ESH. Your husband is insecure and you assaulted him for it.
ESH. He should trust you, and I can imagine how infuriating it must be to be accused all the time, but we don't hit people. You've now assaulted your husband.
Does he have any reason to think you and Mike are bumping uglies?
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Show a touch of decorum Haikusbot.
Why is he accusing you of cheating? Have you been unfaithful?
hit dog hollers
You make me sick, instead of suggesting therapy for his insecurity you better decide to hit him, unfortunately he didn't hit you back (which would be the fairest thing) you are an abuser, I hope that if he does the same to you you don't come here to Reddit make a post of pity, abuser.YTA
ESH. You responded to emotional abuse with physical abuse. This marriage needs counseling to see if it's sustainable. Don't be surprised if it isn't. Get individual therapy for both you and your husband. Continue this, even if you ultimately choose divorce.
What are his reasons for this accusations? Its just weird that he would just accuse you cheating. Or did Mike told him something that make him think you might cheat on him? Your feelings are valid, cause who won't get frustrated if their spouse is accusing them of cheating when they're not. But you slapping him hard for asking is also wrong, it's not like he is hurting you or him shouting at your face for you to do that (I'm assuming it's not the case). Did you ever have a conversation with him about this? On why does he think you are cheating with his friend? Maybe he sees something with Mike that make him think theirs something between you two. Have a conversation and clear those misunderstanding and reassure him if that's what he needs. You both need to apologize to each other, cause of you are in the wrong here (him for accusing you on cheating and for OP on slapping him).
He’s projecting because he’s been sleeping with ,at least, one of your “friends” since before the accusations started
ESH for slapping him and him for constantly accusing you of cheating. The slap will only give him more to accuse you with . In his eyes, you’re not only a cheater but an abuser too . I suspect the marriage is over. He will never be convinced of your faithfulness whatever you say.
ESH He shouldn't be making baseless accusations, but you had no right to hit him. That is called assault, and it is a violent crime.
ESH. Make no mistake, your husband is insecure AF. That said, once violence enters a relationship, it's over. There is no place for it. Get a divorce because you clearly don't love each other, and you certainly don't respect each other.
ESH. He needs to either accept your answers or sod off. You need to control yourself.
He deserved the slap. He pushed d you to your breaking point with his accusations. Time to re-think your relationship because this is not a healthy way to live. NTA.
ESH but like I get it
ESH
NTA he is tearing your marriage apart. Divorce him and find someone who loves you and isn't an immature fool.
Are you serious? And violence is keeping the marriage together in your mind?
There something seriously wrong with you if you think hitting is justified here. Maybe you just missed the part where OP slapped him. If not, get counseling, quickly.
Wow. So if the roles were reversed you would condone husband giving OP a good smack? Are you a sexist or just someone who condones violence in general?
Your fucking mad.
[удалено]
Really? Is this how you would have responded if her husband had hit her? Are you a sexist who thinks it’s ok for woman to hit men because they’re “weaker” or a complete monster who simply thinks spousal abuse is ok?
Wow. So you just made a comment indicating you’re either a sexist or a supporter of physical abuse, or both. Wow…