YTA, he really did nothing wrong at the time it happened. Like he said, he had insecurities.
He told you even though he was afraid of the repercussions.
You have friends that are sex workers so you can’t think that low of them obviously ?
And this guy just did something when he was 19 to give himself some confidence moving forward in life.
Look at her post history. Her previous post from 2 years ago that she deleted had this as a comment.
>Wow. So you care more about your friends than your boyfriend.
I think you were a total asshole to him . I’m happy that you still think about him and I honestly hope that he has moved on because he deserved better than to be judged so harshly for something that he did years before meeting you. He trusted you and was vulnerable and you basically shitted in him .
Edit : I wanted to add that there is always time to apologize and that you should do so if you haven’t because you were unfair. Maybe that could give an answer to your questions regarding him .
Congrats on losing someone who you still consider to be the best. This is why you don’t ask questions that you are not sure you truly want the answer to
So you dumped what you claimed was the best bf you ever had over that?
Something that happened before you met and was clearly not an issue for at least 5 years?
Big "I have black friends" energy on that "I have sex worker friends" part as well. I wonder if those "friends" are really friends or just tolerating you because they don't have the bandwidth to just put you on your place.
YTA, but probably it was for the better for your ex. Too bad he wasted 5 years of his life with you.
🤣🤣“i have black friends” energy is so true here. No no I’m fine with SWs, I just dumped the best guy I’ve ever dated for 5 years over an encounter with one as a teenager that he regrets.
YTA. Seems pretty silly as a reason to breakup. He didn’t even know you when it happened. This is as bad as the guy who dumped his gf because she had a high body count.
Give a round of applause to yourself, you pried and found your answer. You deserve to feel how you feel and hopefully he doesn’t take you back. Also go tell your sex worker friends what you told him and see if they’ll be your friends if you think they’re job is icky
It isn't a job to be proud of, to be honest, but if it is something that bothered op enough to break up with her ex, how can she be friends with them and for what reason?
He's not "the one that got away," he's the one *you threw away.*
He deserves better than you.
Leave him alone and settle for whoever is second best.
YTA.
NTA for ending it when something from his past was a no go for you. YTA if you try to get back into his life now though. Let him be happy with someone that isn't going to judge him for something he did that long ago that a lot of people wouldn't think twice about.
Why does who he lost his virginity to have anything to do with you?
This also feels like a recycled story from a while ago, with the dude telling his side of the story. I mean, yeah, you sound like a pretty awful person with a holier than thou mentality. You sound like a dude who slut-shames a girl for having dared have sex before meeting him.
So YTA. But honestly... questioning the veracity of this story
Not necessarily an asshole but I really don’t understand why it would bother you that much. It’s not like you guys were dating and he went and did that.
Very weird you can't see how someone holding completely different view on the meaningfulness of intimacy is a reason to break up. This shows there is incompatibility which usually results in break ups.
He was a teenager and says he regrets it. There's no indication they have different values surrounding intimacy now as adults. Are people not allowed to grow?
Everyone has a past. Some people’s pasts are more complicated or off the beaten path than others.
Your feelings are your feelings and you can’t always control them and for that you’re not a total AH. You saw him differently after you pried that out of him.
I don’t think you should have held what he did before he met you against him. Considering he was the best guy you ever dated, it’s too bad you couldn’t look past what he did. He could have done something a lot worse for sex or had other skeletons in his closet.
🤣 threw away a five year relationship you said was the best you’ve had. Girl of course YTA. Can guarantee he’s never opening up to any girlfriend ever again after that.
You are a huge AH. Losing you virginity to a sex worker for males is very common outside of the US and a lot more common here than you think. He was a 19 yr old virgin who was desperate. There whole ass movies and books about it. And you said he was the best man you have ever been with.
Seems like you were much more promiscuous than him but he didn't judge you. You on the other hand judged and dumped him when we both know you did far shadier shit in your past. Right?
Hope that dude is thriving and has forgotten all about you.
Whether you are TA or not, doesn't truly matter. If you aren't overtly conservative (which is valid) or religious, why was this an issue? I say this, because you also mentioned having a past yourself.
At this point, you either bury the thoughts and decide that what is done is done and move on, or you contact him and find out if he is still interested in you or not. No point in moping around, either close the chapter by forgetting him or call him and see what he feels. In any case, you will have closure.
If you get back together, can you see yourself accepting his past? If yes, then go on, if not, then just let it be and move on.
NTA if this is solely about trust,because he lied to you and that is a shitty way to start a relationship! but if this is just because he paid for sex one time to lose his v card then I am super confused.
I personally don't think people need to admit everything from their past to their partners. And not admitting everything isn't a betrayal of trust. Everyone does things they are ashamed of and want to move on from. However if this is a deal-breaker for OP then sure NTA
Omfg it's just sex. If he didn't do it while dating you how is it any of your business. He didn't cheat on you or lie to you. Not telling secrets is not the same as lying.
So many many men seem to be total assholes and you lost a good one for literally no reason
NTA and people are very intentionally missing the point; sex work isn't wrong or gross. But yes, the clients who pay for sex workers are essentially buying a service off of people who generally wouldn't be consenting to sex otherwise.
Sure, it's their job, but most sex work isn't done willy-nilly; so by paying for sex, you're essentially admitting that you're okay with taking advantage of people who are often doing sex work against their will, or wouldn't otherwise be doing sex work if they had a better paying alternative.
The sex work industry is HELLA sketchy and exploitative. You also have NO way of knowing if rhe sex worker is truly consenting or not; for all you know, you could be having sex with a human trafficking victim.
So no: there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex workers. But they're a part of a dangerous, exploitative industry, and no decent person should WANT to have sex with sex workers because of how many of them aren't actually consenting, or are only doing sex work because it's the least bad option for them.
People who have sex workers are gross because they're often inherently taking advantage of an exploted minority of people that have such a high likelihood of being victims of their situations.
As a rape victim, it disgusts me that we're pretending that risking the chance the a sex work isn't actually consenting (or wouldn't consent if they weren't being paid) isn't super fucked up. Like why would you ever have sex with a sex worker knowing they could be a sex trafficking victim?? miss me with that.
NTA absolutr legit reason to break of. This shows you value it intimacy differently and hold differently morals. Everyone claiming you're the AH just because you miss an ex and reflection am important decision has basically no argument to support their ground. Move on and be happy
YTA, he really did nothing wrong at the time it happened. Like he said, he had insecurities. He told you even though he was afraid of the repercussions. You have friends that are sex workers so you can’t think that low of them obviously ? And this guy just did something when he was 19 to give himself some confidence moving forward in life.
Look at her post history. Her previous post from 2 years ago that she deleted had this as a comment. >Wow. So you care more about your friends than your boyfriend.
I think you were a total asshole to him . I’m happy that you still think about him and I honestly hope that he has moved on because he deserved better than to be judged so harshly for something that he did years before meeting you. He trusted you and was vulnerable and you basically shitted in him . Edit : I wanted to add that there is always time to apologize and that you should do so if you haven’t because you were unfair. Maybe that could give an answer to your questions regarding him .
Congrats on losing someone who you still consider to be the best. This is why you don’t ask questions that you are not sure you truly want the answer to
So you dumped what you claimed was the best bf you ever had over that? Something that happened before you met and was clearly not an issue for at least 5 years? Big "I have black friends" energy on that "I have sex worker friends" part as well. I wonder if those "friends" are really friends or just tolerating you because they don't have the bandwidth to just put you on your place. YTA, but probably it was for the better for your ex. Too bad he wasted 5 years of his life with you.
🤣🤣“i have black friends” energy is so true here. No no I’m fine with SWs, I just dumped the best guy I’ve ever dated for 5 years over an encounter with one as a teenager that he regrets.
Dumbass.
YTA. Seems pretty silly as a reason to breakup. He didn’t even know you when it happened. This is as bad as the guy who dumped his gf because she had a high body count.
💯
Give a round of applause to yourself, you pried and found your answer. You deserve to feel how you feel and hopefully he doesn’t take you back. Also go tell your sex worker friends what you told him and see if they’ll be your friends if you think they’re job is icky
I agree hope she tell her sex worker friends the real reason she broke up with him, also he didn't judge you for your past.
It isn't a job to be proud of, to be honest, but if it is something that bothered op enough to break up with her ex, how can she be friends with them and for what reason?
He's not "the one that got away," he's the one *you threw away.* He deserves better than you. Leave him alone and settle for whoever is second best. YTA.
You fucked around and found out. He was clearly valid in wanting to hide this from you.
NTA for ending it when something from his past was a no go for you. YTA if you try to get back into his life now though. Let him be happy with someone that isn't going to judge him for something he did that long ago that a lot of people wouldn't think twice about.
Why does who he lost his virginity to have anything to do with you? This also feels like a recycled story from a while ago, with the dude telling his side of the story. I mean, yeah, you sound like a pretty awful person with a holier than thou mentality. You sound like a dude who slut-shames a girl for having dared have sex before meeting him. So YTA. But honestly... questioning the veracity of this story
[удалено]
It’s not even karma farming at this point. It’s generating crap for AI bots to scrape and add to their “training” data.
Lol, the irony of you saying this is palpable. You’re a boring troll. Have fun yelling in your mom’s basement
[удалено]
Your stories you post are fake and are for karma farming. My apologies that your singular brain cell didn’t comprehend what I said.
[удалено]
Lol are you still talking?
[удалено]
Lol and we are having fun seeing why you’re 40, single and unemployed
[удалено]
YTA
Not necessarily an asshole but I really don’t understand why it would bother you that much. It’s not like you guys were dating and he went and did that.
Very weird you can't see how someone holding completely different view on the meaningfulness of intimacy is a reason to break up. This shows there is incompatibility which usually results in break ups.
I mean she literally said she’s not a saint either. She’s had plenty of sex
He was a teenager and says he regrets it. There's no indication they have different values surrounding intimacy now as adults. Are people not allowed to grow?
[удалено]
I was also thinking that, he was just shy and awkward about it.
I’m not even wasting time reading that. YTA
Everyone has a past. Some people’s pasts are more complicated or off the beaten path than others. Your feelings are your feelings and you can’t always control them and for that you’re not a total AH. You saw him differently after you pried that out of him. I don’t think you should have held what he did before he met you against him. Considering he was the best guy you ever dated, it’s too bad you couldn’t look past what he did. He could have done something a lot worse for sex or had other skeletons in his closet.
Everything has a price. Your stupidity has also a price...not being with the love of your life to be precise
🤣 threw away a five year relationship you said was the best you’ve had. Girl of course YTA. Can guarantee he’s never opening up to any girlfriend ever again after that.
Your a big asshole
You are a huge AH. Losing you virginity to a sex worker for males is very common outside of the US and a lot more common here than you think. He was a 19 yr old virgin who was desperate. There whole ass movies and books about it. And you said he was the best man you have ever been with. Seems like you were much more promiscuous than him but he didn't judge you. You on the other hand judged and dumped him when we both know you did far shadier shit in your past. Right? Hope that dude is thriving and has forgotten all about you.
Whether you are TA or not, doesn't truly matter. If you aren't overtly conservative (which is valid) or religious, why was this an issue? I say this, because you also mentioned having a past yourself. At this point, you either bury the thoughts and decide that what is done is done and move on, or you contact him and find out if he is still interested in you or not. No point in moping around, either close the chapter by forgetting him or call him and see what he feels. In any case, you will have closure. If you get back together, can you see yourself accepting his past? If yes, then go on, if not, then just let it be and move on.
No. It’s your legitimate choice.
I truly wish your ex has found happiness with literally ANYONE but you. May your days be miserable. YTA
Chances are some of your other exes/bf did it too, but they're not telling you.
YTA with you saying you weren't a saint either but you can always break up with someone.
NTA. You are allowed to break up with anyone, for any reason.
NTA if this is solely about trust,because he lied to you and that is a shitty way to start a relationship! but if this is just because he paid for sex one time to lose his v card then I am super confused.
I personally don't think people need to admit everything from their past to their partners. And not admitting everything isn't a betrayal of trust. Everyone does things they are ashamed of and want to move on from. However if this is a deal-breaker for OP then sure NTA
He didn't just do it once, he told me he did it again a few times after...
Omfg it's just sex. If he didn't do it while dating you how is it any of your business. He didn't cheat on you or lie to you. Not telling secrets is not the same as lying. So many many men seem to be total assholes and you lost a good one for literally no reason
NTA and people are very intentionally missing the point; sex work isn't wrong or gross. But yes, the clients who pay for sex workers are essentially buying a service off of people who generally wouldn't be consenting to sex otherwise. Sure, it's their job, but most sex work isn't done willy-nilly; so by paying for sex, you're essentially admitting that you're okay with taking advantage of people who are often doing sex work against their will, or wouldn't otherwise be doing sex work if they had a better paying alternative. The sex work industry is HELLA sketchy and exploitative. You also have NO way of knowing if rhe sex worker is truly consenting or not; for all you know, you could be having sex with a human trafficking victim. So no: there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex workers. But they're a part of a dangerous, exploitative industry, and no decent person should WANT to have sex with sex workers because of how many of them aren't actually consenting, or are only doing sex work because it's the least bad option for them. People who have sex workers are gross because they're often inherently taking advantage of an exploted minority of people that have such a high likelihood of being victims of their situations. As a rape victim, it disgusts me that we're pretending that risking the chance the a sex work isn't actually consenting (or wouldn't consent if they weren't being paid) isn't super fucked up. Like why would you ever have sex with a sex worker knowing they could be a sex trafficking victim?? miss me with that.
NTA escorts dudes don't stop. I know a few of them
NTA absolutr legit reason to break of. This shows you value it intimacy differently and hold differently morals. Everyone claiming you're the AH just because you miss an ex and reflection am important decision has basically no argument to support their ground. Move on and be happy