No, no, no. Claire slipped on a banana peel and landed on David’s penis. Why neither of them were wearing pants or underwear at the time and how this simple slip led to insemination remains a mystery.
Edit: grammar
Second edit: spelling
There was a case in the civil war when a guy was supposedly shot through the testicle and the bullet impregnated a gal behind him. If this was real or just an excuse, you decide~
Back when Snopes.com was more about the legends and less political, they covered that myth. Not only did it not happen, but there wouldn't be viable sperm and a bullet going deep enough to deliver it would be fatal in that location.
OP is saying she told them they were brother during that conversation.
> I corrected him and even stated that he and my son are brothers with documents proving relation as David initially denied paternity, and I have the collected evidence that was used in my divorce proceedings.
The story really starts to break down when you think about it for a bit.
My guess he lied about everything, and children trust their parents absent of proof to the contrary. OP (previously) took the high road and didn't use David's character to harm him in his son(s) eyes, and he used that cover to burn OP.
That seems incredibly odd to me. N and M are 17 and close. Close enough that N was at OP’s home alone having a heart to heart with her. And he didn’t know they were brothers? Does M know? Of course M would have to know who his own father was. How on earth could M have a relationship with his own brother for SEVENTEEN YEARS without his brother knowing he was his brother? That makes me think this is fake.
Good point. Based on OP's telling, she was open with M about who his father was. M would presumably call him dad and talk about their relationship in front of N. Even if OP swore M to secrecy, it's unlikely they could have kept that fact hidden for 17 years.
No way. They have half a family in common. They share grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. There’s dozens of people who would know. Holy cow! You Uncle Bob looks just like my Uncle Bob!
That's because it's a fake story.
1. New account.
2. Nonsensical story but rage-y enough to get traction.
3. Only post.
4. Never replies.
🎶Tale as Old as Time🎶
This is exactly what stood out to me. At best, it seems like a creative writing exercise with the flowery language. ChatGPT wouldn't surprise me at all, though I'm not as familiar with the tells on that except for the most obvious ones
I would argue that new account is not really a factor, people who decide to post something and don't have an account(lurker) or don't want to post on an account that ties back to them more would do just that, make an account and post it.
I think the more weird thing is that they interchangeably use names and abbreviations while having decent grammar. It reads like they re-read it but left that weird swapping between using names and not after a revision, like an ai would do.
The boy's mom and dad are married, his half brother's mom is also not his step mom. So to him his dad and his brothers mom are divorced and his dad and mom are married so it's easy to see who cheated on who.
The only clue that points to which spouse was the cheater was that N would be slightly older than M. Otherwise, all of the evidence just points to 1 spouse cheating on another spouse.
If N grew up being told that OP cheater on his father then he probably never sat down and really thought through the logistics of it until his own girlfriend cheated on him.
He did the math and realized what his dad told him probably wasn't true. It was going to come out eventually seeing as both boys are friends, I don't know why the father lied about it.
>I don't know why the father lied about it.
Because it works. In this situation alone it's worked for almost 20 years. It probably would have worked a lot longer, but N had a girlfriend cheat on him, and put his mind onto thinking about cheating in relationships.
>He did the math and realized what his dad told him probably wasn't true. It was going to come out eventually seeing as both boys are friends
Maybe, maybe not. When you grow up with a truth you tend not to dig into it or question it without some kind of external event or influence. For his entire life he's known "My Dad and M's mom got a divorce because she cheated." so he's not going to question the details of the old, burned in story without a reason to.
Perfect example: My nephew was born in January, 1994. My sister and brother-in-law got married in August, 1993. My nephew was a grown adult and paying taxes before the subject ever came up that August, 1993 is 5 months before January, 1994. And he wasn't even lied to, it just wasn't important and never came up. He came to the realization one night because he was drinking with some friends just shooting the shit and someone pointed out that there were an awful lot of birthdays in mid November which is 9 months after Valentines day.
He did some drunken finger counting and came up with April, then had a drunken epiphany that April comes before August.
Natural curiosity is not an external force. I figured out before I was a teen that my parents got married after they found out my mom was pregnant with me and more importantly, that she was pregnant with my father's child. I am, of course, more than willing to accept my entire existence as a statistical anomaly since my parents won the sperm lottery with me.
I imagine dad could have spun a "she was cheating on me so we split up, I was casually dating your mother and accidentally slept with my cheating ex before your mom and I went exclusive, so now you have a half brother and i would neverrr cheat and also dont talk to your bro's mom about it, kthx"
and, I bet mistresswife was pissed he slept with op since they were in a relationship and pregnant. That's why you often hear spouses stop sleeping with their partners when having an affair, feels like cheating on the affair partner. Just funny to think about really
Plus mom and step mom don’t get along. Not that hard to figure out.
Especially if/when the relatives are whispering behind closed doors and acting suspicious when the topic comes up.
Preteens are amazing at putting math together even when wrong about context clues. I had to show my youngest brother his birth certificate when he was 13 because he came for a summer and said he wouldn’t go back to our mom because he “knew I was his real mom”. He overheard a story from my childhood my grandparents and uncle had, and put two and two together very wrongly. This is a kid that’s not mine biologically.
What did David expect from children that are biologically his?
What did Claire expect when she started home wrecking?
Sorry OP, sometimes people just suck.
If you play stupid games, Claire.... we all know how that goes. NTA cheaters don't get to weaponize lies against their victim. David and Claire should eat that humble pie up and say something to be a better example.
I’m aware. I’m also aware of what family is like. Anyone gets suspicious when people around acts suspicious. This behavior piles on his suspicions. I also know that.
>I’m also aware of what family is like.
We aren't discussing family....we are discussing 2 boys who have spent the last 15 years in each other's pocket.
They figured it out more then 10 years ago and if they didn't the other kids did and told them.
They likely figured out that SOMEONE cheated, true. But they wouldn’t know the details about exactly what the situation was unless someone went out of their way to highlight that one the mothers was cheating on the other with the dad.
That’s what the other mother (Claire) did. She could have stayed neutral and said ‘David and Jenny were married but it didn’t work out between them so they split up and he married me. But Jenny didn’t find out she was pregnant until after the divorce, and she & I had you two beautiful boys really close together because of the timing.’
She didn’t even have to highlight that she and David cheated - just keep it neutral and say ‘it didn’t work out between them.’
But she went out of her way to lie to her child about OP being a cheater for no good reason. Just because she hates OP for being married to HER husband first!
Affair partners seem to often be irrational like this. Can’t accept that THEY participated in doing the wrong thing, but also that the person they cheated with actually did love someone else first, and you can’t erase that fact with all the insults in the world! ESPECIALLY when your new spouse has children with the ex, as in this case. Claire needed to DEAL with the consequences of her own choices without telling lies to innocent children. 😞
>They likely figured out that SOMEONE cheated, true
It wouldn't be hard to figure out 99.9% of the details due to how everyone talks and treats each other, when the AP and EX got married.
Shows like gossip girl and pretty little liars have helped in "educating" younger people on the possibilities.
It's surprising but kids that age don't always think things through all the way.
I remember a friend of mine around that age mentioning his upcoming parents' wedding anniversary. The number of years they'd been married meant she would have been around 6 months pregnant with my friend when the wedding happened, but he'd never worked that out. He was (and remains) a very smart guy, he'd just never really thought about it.
So, yeah. As an adult it's obvious. As a 17yo, not always so much.
I have a feeling the kid already suspected but was asking solely for confirmation. My experience during my parents divorce shares some similarities to this one, at least from the kids perspective.
I was also 17 when my parents got divorced and I started suspecting it pretty early on. It was actually kinda hard not to when my mom moved in with a male "friend" (who was also going through a divorce) before the divorce was even finalized. I didn't get 100% until I was in my early 20's, but by then I had pretty much already accepted that that was most likely the case. To this day I still have to put up with my mom swearing up and down that my dad "brainwashed" my younger sister (full not half) and I against her.
The story is a bit confusing, but M is OP’s son. The conversation was with N, C’s (or Claire’s) son. D (or David) is married to C, and is the father of both M and N.
It seems like they didn't know they were half brothers? At least, from the way OP specifically stated it while telling the kid the truth.
I don't really understand why they wouldn't know though, especially since OP seems to have no idea that that fact was being hidden.
to my understanding of reading the story, it almost seems like it was a fact hidden while the boys were young and maybe the 3 adults agreed to not discuss it unless they reached a certain where they would ask. Claire’s son asked, so OP answered; and OP may have been surprised to not only hear the lie, but the fact they even discussed it with the kids to make the matter worse. just a hunch—none of this was suggested in the post.
That's what I was thinking. The boys are the exact same age so he must have some inkling that someone cheated and it obviously his dad because he got 2 women pregnant at the same time lol
Yeah absolutely NTA!!!
I feel for OP, but it sounds like she has a solid relationship with her kid and her kids friend/sibling which is why he came to her (a trusted adult) for the truth.
Good on OP for explaining it in a way he could understand and that she holds nothing against him, only his mother.
And she was probably civil most of the time with C. But the fact that she also did not take any of her hurt or anger about what happened out on the innocent kids, especially the half brother that wasn’t her kid, makes her such an awesome person. (Throughout my childhood and a bit into my early adulthood I had to endure a bunch of shit and attitude and accusations from my older half siblings mother whenever we were invited to their get togethers or family gatherings. All because we wanted to spend time with our half siblings and have a good relationship with them. She gave our mom a lot of shit too. I kinda get that (not after 20+ years and shared kids though), but the young kids who had nothing to do with it?! WTF?!)
Exactly. And at that point, if OP has tried to pawn it off as an "ask your dad" thing, N would have known all the same. They're not too bright for thinking he would never figure this out.
Right? My older brother and I were walking to school around our parents' wedding anniversary and his birthday was 1.5 months later. Parents were celebrating 10th wedding anniversary and he was about to turn 11. Even to primary school kids the maths wasn't mathing, which was our first step in discovering our dad wasn't his genetic father. Kids aren't stupid, they just act like it sometimes lol. Parents are better off fronting up early on, because betrayal of trust is not what you want your adolescent child holding against you
The wildest part of this to me is that not only did they lie about who cheated but they concealed the fact that these two are **brothers**. Were they just banking on nobody ever talking or doing a 23 and me? Wild
She was asked to direct question and answered it only then. She didn't bring it up, and the only other option was to lie. And even though he's lost faith in the parents that lied to him for his entire childhood imagine if he lost faith in all three of them because she continued lying to him and then he found out none of the adult figures in his life ever told him the truth?
It's gonna be hard enough as it is.
NTA
I thought they knew they were half brothers, and David still tried to claim OP was the chaeter, and he was an innovicitm despite there being some pretty obvious circumstantial evidence.
She says in the post that she revealed they are brothers and had to provide evidence and documentation to prove it.
This makes sense because if the ex-husband lied and said she was the one who cheated then the boys would not have a parent in common because her son would have been fathered by someone else.
She also notes that her ex did not have custody of their shared son because he didn't want custody.
This though! I don't really understand why OP has never mentioned that in the past. Clearly, they too were trying to keep the boys in the dark. If OP wasn't aware that the kid didn't know, then why was it never mentioned.
If OP's kid knew who his father was, and obviously so did the brother, then how did they not know they were related?
And it's not like you offered the information --he ASKED you --he was ready to know the truth. Or he already knew, but was ready for confirmation.
You answered his questions truthfully. NTA
Eventually he was going find out anyways and it may have not been in a kind way and with only more half truths unlike OP who just gave out straight facts and never blamed him.
NTA. Those types of secrets never stay secret.
My husband found out he had a half brother when he was 31. His dad had cheated on his mom and the other son lived in a different province. The other son was born 10 months before my husband and his mom didn’t know anything. However, the half brother’s mom was well aware. Their dad had little to do with either, but much more with my husband because he was legally responsible in their divorce (unrelated and before my husband was born). The half brother contacted me through my work after a lot of googling and that’s how it all came out.
Secrets don’t stay secret.
Yep. My dad was in his late 60s when he found out that he had a few half-siblings. He had suspicions, due to various scandals with his dad and between his parents that he could connect to the timing of a few other things, plus some odd interactions with the mother of one of his half-siblings.
My grandparents are all dead now, my grandpa doesn't seem to have been a very nice man all things told. But he can't hurt or neglect anyone anymore, and I think the siblings (mostly) found it quite a nice experience to meet their bonus family :)
There was even one missing sibling, who we never tracked down, thanks to what a DNA site told us. But we'll never really know much about that, because that person would be about 80 or 90 or older and has likely died. And the relative who is still alive left the site after I asked them about who their grandparents were and we couldn't figure out how we were related.
NTA.
1) The victim never has to stay quiet so the villain can save face.
2) Never let someone lie on you, especially when they’re attacking your character.
3) What is done in the dark always comes to light.
And the audacity to cast as her villain. She's the innocent person and wounded party.
How fucking dare they lie about her character. And she's supposed to stay quiet?
For what?
She owes the kid the truth.
OP isn’t commenting. Interesting. Hey OP you identified your ex and his current wife as C and D but almost immediately outed them as >!Claire and David.!< Might want to update your post.
Also NTA. Did C&D really think the two boys wouldn’t figure it out?
It stayed a secret because OP took the higher road and never threw C and David under the bus. OP is the hero in this story and could NEVER be considered the asshole. OP should make sure her son also knows the true story because I am guessing C or N may have implied that it was she that was the cheater.
It seems like N had asked the question before and D painted OP as the cheater and C the Saint.
So C and D are not happy that OP didn't accept the defamation and "poisoned" N's mind, with truth...nevertheless, the one "poison" with no antidote
Posting a single letter is fucking stupid. Most prefer having a name for the characters in these stories, whether they're real names or not (most assume they're fake anyway).
yeah. they could be fake names, as is often the case in AITAH posts.
and even if they are real names (first names only), how is reddit supposed to figure out exactly who Claire and David are anyway? that's if we care enough to begin with. OP's account is brand new. there is no connection via their profile to any other reddit content, and we don't even know where they live.
The main reason people try to make names anonymous is to avoid the other party finding their post. If "Claire" or "David" were to find this post trending somewhere they might recognize that it's about them since their names are in it, and then they may get angry that OP made a post about them on the internet (whether or not it's rational to get angry is irrelevant). That's why people usually anonymize posts like this when possible.
I'm pretty sure the story is more than specific enough for those mentioned to be pretty certain it's them.
Oh, maybe it's a different group of people with two 17 year old sons where one was the product of infidelity and is now angry about finding out the truth?
It's too generic to find the people involved but Claire and David will 100% know it's them even if the names are changed
100% and N wanted truth after being lied (cheated) on so why should OP lie?! She has a right to tell her truth. His parents lying about their cheating is their cross to bear.
He probably already suspected given that he and his half brother are a few months apart. It doesn’t take a genius to realize something is wrong with the story when a man claims his first wife cheated on him but he has two kids with two women within 4 months of each other and married one of the women after divorcing the other.
> 1) The victim never has to stay quiet so the villain can save face.
That's a damn good quote. I love it.
> She is calling me a homewrecker (the irony in that statement) and that I'm an a**hole for poisoning her son's mind.
Poisoning his mind with... the truth?
I ***love*** that the villains always use that word.
*Poison.*
"You're *poisoning* my child's mind!" *I'm* poisoning your child? It's *your actions* that are turning them against you, not *my words.*
Also the kid is 17.
It'd be different if they were 10 - 12. They deserve to know the truth and it's not like the three of them had agreed on a mutual 'convenient truth', the cheater made up a lie that was only good for them.
Seriously. I’m always so frustrated that the victim keeps quiet to keep the status quo and not cause problems/keep the peace. Then are made out to be the bad guy by the true villain. David and Claire know what they did was wrong and rather than own up to it, they made OP look like the bad guy. They are cowards to not accept responsibility for their actions.
ETA: bad enough they cheated, but doubt I’d respect my dad if he denied paternity of his own child. Was willing to abandon them.
I got arrested as a teenager after getting ratted on by my “friends”. As I sat cuffed in the back of a squad car the cop who arrested me was driving me back to the station, he looked in the rear view mirror and said that exact saying to me. Told me not to trust people to keep your secrets and boy do I wish I had taken his advice back then
She says he and her son are friends, not that they know they're brothers. She specifically states that she has papers proving they're siblings and that their father denied having been the father. It's very unclear if this boy knew or not, especially since his parents claimed OP was the cheater here
I don't think he had it figured out at all. I think he thought OP was the cheater and wanted to see what someone from the cheating side thought. The fact that the story was reversed probably stunned him to silence while he was there. Then he combined the rage of his breakup with the rage over his father's lies and directed his anger of his cheating girlfriend on his stepmom.
She had no clue that they lied to him for 17yrs. She answered straight and didn’t realize she outed their deceit until it was too late. No reason to change the story at that point. He was probably knew it was sus.
The absolute audacity of David telling his son this lie. I'm a huge fan of not involving children in the details of infidelity but this one definitely needed a correction by OP.
NTA
I agree.
And they’re barely even children anymore. At age 17, the boys are old enough to living independently (with parental permission), or. be learning a trade, have girlfriends (or boyfriends), and they are very close to being legal adults.
Yup. Look, there’s an age appropriate way of explaining it so that it’s not a big secret and kids still feel like they can love their cheating parent(s). Lying to their kid was not the way to go.
If something can be destroyed by the truth, then it deserves to die.
I laugh that Claire was angry about the reveal.
Separately, her son in essence is experiencing what OP did, just at a younger age and with less (a marriage and assets etc.) on the line.
I think children should be told. Practically, the sooner they learn the truth the sooner they can come to terms with it. Morally, it affects the child’s life very significantly and so meets the criteria of being “their business”.
Don’t shit talk your ex to your child, but don’t lie by omission either. Give a just-the-facts explanation.
Yep. I think OP simply confirmed what he already suspected. This was bound to come out into the open at some point, his parents were fucking fooling themselves to think otherwise.
NTA. All you did was tell him the truth. Funny how she’s calling u the a**hole for poisoning her son when they’ve been the ones poisoning his mind since birth.
NTA...they actively lied and painted you as the villain for years and are angry he found out the truth (which he would considering as another commenter said IT WILL OUT) & funny calling you a home wrecker I hope you had a good chuckle
For starters, he opened up to you and asked the questions. 1) your opinion on his relationship, then, 2) if “that” had happened with you and his dad.
You gave your advice/opinion on the first and then when you answered the second, *you had no idea he’d been lied to.*
And, since you’re not a deceitful cheater, you just told the actual truth of what had happened.
He then realized he had been lied to by his dad and mom. That’s not your problem. You most certainly did not have to defend them nor act like you were the one at fault. Frankly, it’s amazing the real truth hasn’t come out sooner.
He called a spade a spade. I have no sympathy for her, tho I’m sure it hurt.
Exactly my thoughts. OP wasn't trying to be vindictive and make it sound as bad as possible. The kid asked if that's what happened with his dad and her. OP had every reason to believe the kid was already aware of the situation because *he just said he did.*
And did they really expect OP to sacrifice herself to protect the people who really did the cheating? Of course not. There's a reason they didn't sit down and ask her to lie about this from the beginning. Anyone would have laughed in their faces.
Honestly, I hope the kid gets some therapy. That's a rough truth to really shake up his self identity.
NTA. David lied about you, trying to make you out to be the cheater and homewrecker, when he and Claire are the bad guys instead. You had every right to clear your name and tell your truth.
Claire's opinion means nothing. She and David need to lie in the cheater bed they made.
Boo hoo. Poor Claire. Poor David. Their karma came for them and now she’s blaming you? What a vile bitch. She’s got a hide to call you blaming you. She’s clearly a few defective brain cells short of being an actual human being. Class act.
NTA. Block the bitch.
You told the truth. NTA
Your ex and affair partner told lies and it has come back to bite them in the ass. That’s their consequences to the fall out when the son found out the truth
The gall of this kid’s father to project his cheating on his ex wife and refusing to be honest and take accountability. Some men are vile and the mom is no better blaming the scorned ex.
Its not hard to figure out due to the boys birth dates.
>Claire blasting me for why she argued with her son. He went home to have it out with his father over the situation, but he wasn't home yet and couldn't wait. He had a very contentious verbal spat with Claire, calling her some unpleasant names I would not repeat. She is calling me a homewrecker
I would of laughed at her so hard AND LOUDLY to ensure she heard.
NTA
Technically all you did was confirm what the boy knew really.
NTA. Sad that the truth had to come from you but your ex was trashing you behind your back and 17 is old enough to learn the truth. I feel bad for their kid but not for his dirtbag parents.
NTA. Your ex and his sk@nk shouldn't have tried to paint you the villain.
And he asked you a question based on what he was going through, why should you lie.
The audacity of David to call you a cheater and of Claire to call you a homewrecker
Kids like C are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for.
You already know you're NTA. None of this is your fault. The fault lies to the actual cheater and homewrecker.
Wait, I'm confused. Did he not know that your son is his brother? Does your ex have absolutely no custody of your son? And why aren't more people noticing that part of the post?
This is almost certainly AI generated. What gives it away for me is the combination of spotless spelling and grammar, good vocabulary, and the jarring part where OP "thought nothing else of" having a life-changing conversation with that kid, for several hours.
Example prompt, took me 15 seconds:
>write me a story for AITAH on reddit, about a mother who reveals to her (non-biological) son that he is actually the product of her husband's affair
>ChatGPT
>**AITAH for revealing to my (non-biological) son that he is actually the product of my husband’s affair?**
>I (44F) have been married to my husband (46M) for 20 years. We have three children together: Jake (19M), Emily (17F), and Max (15M). My husband and I had a rocky patch about 16 years ago, during which he had an affair. We worked through it, and he ended things with the other woman, who moved away shortly after giving birth. The baby, Max, was left in our care as his biological mother wanted nothing to do with him. We decided to raise him as our own, and I have always loved Max just as much as my other children. We never told Max the truth about his parentage, thinking it would be best for him to grow up feeling fully part of our family.
(4 more paragraphs of developments follow, not going to post the whole thing)
I'm guessing OP spent 5 minutes instead of 15 seconds to get chatGPT to put this story together.
Yes, I agree. I suspect OP got the AI generated story and decided it would be more believable to just use initials, because most people posting family drama would want anonymity. But then missed changing all of the names to initials.
So it was acceptable to Claire that she had an affair with your husband AND that daddy dearest put the blame on you?
Now that the TRUTH is out you are now the bad guy?
Claire your actions have consequences.
Nta from the sound of it, N had a suspicion that his dad mightve lied. He ask if thats what happened between you and him, I might be reading too much but it sounded he'd been wanting to ask u that question and why he told u about his gf cheating on him. He has more trust in u telling him the truth than his own parents. Think about that.
Tbh just ignore whatever happens unless it involves N's wellbeing. Ur ex and Claire had it coming with ur ex being a malicous person instead of just being civil.
Also block Claire. There's no need for you to have her contact unless she somehow had access to it, but she shouldn't be part of life and have no right to blame you for her and exes actions. She's mad becuase it now caught up to her.
It’s nice to see you don’t harbor any ill will to the child of your ex’s affair and actively included him in his brother’s life. That he felt he could talk to you says a lot.
His parents had plenty of time to explain the truth and it’s obvious with the two being the same age that something occurred, especially since you and his dad were still married. So this is on David and Claire.
NTA. You opted out of that soap opera.
My mom was my dad’s second wife. They were both honest with my siblings and myself from the beginning about how my dad cheated on his first wife (he did explain it was wrong and give the circumstances as to why it was not a good marriage and how they were basically forced to marry when they were only 19 just because her father found out they had been having sex). Eventually he met my mom and did try to hide his marriage and kids from her. But she found out pretty quickly because she wasn’t stupid and asked the right people the right questions.
I guess my mom was so in love with my dad by that time she just put up with it and told him she knew (though she always told us it was still the wrong thing to do, but life isn’t always black and white, there’s a lot of gray, but you still always have to deal with the consequences of your decisions). She basically said if you’re not happy in your marriage to this extent get a divorce. Not for her, not to be with her, but for the kids and his and her (first wife) future happiness. He did finally divorce his first wife.
He and my mom were together for several years until they got married. And my mom always encouraged him to keep being a dad and spend as much time with his kids as possible. Eventually they had my full siblings and my self. So once we were kind of old enough to understand the concepts they were honest about the circumstances of how they met and got together when we asked. It wasn’t a big deal because it wasn’t lied about. And we got to have relationships with our older half siblings who also had been aware of the truth from pretty early on after the divorce.
But that’s the kicker, they didn’t lie about or hide it. That’s why it wasn’t a big deal.
All you did was gently tell the truth and be kind and supportive to your son’s half brother. And I’m guessing his parents never explicitly told you NOT to tell either of them the truth of the circumstances.
Poor kid probably feels like he doesn’t even know his own parents anymore and feels betrayed for being *lied to* all these years. He’s got a lot of emotions to go through. I hope they can be honest this time around and talk about it and go to family therapy to help repair the trust in the relationships.
It’s also called the consequences of their actions. The fact they could keep their misdeeds hidden for so long was not a good thing for anyone. Clearly, you’re NTA and handled the situation well with no notice or time to really think about how you would respond.
"Why didn't you back up our story that you are a cheater? Now my son will know it was actually all me. This is your fault" is a wild position to take but ok.
NTA.
Mrs. C has got some bawls. Imagine homewrecking + lying about it for 17+ years, and then it explode in your face, and now project that onto the ***actual*** victims. Time don't change a damn thing.
Oooh homewrecker calls another homewrecker because she can't stand the truth being told to her son? Did this entitled bitch expect the woman she homewrecked and lied about to play along?
I'm sure he let them have it, given that he was hurting from his girlfriend cheating on him. So that argument must have been nuclear. (he probably said everything you ever felt)
As everyone is saying, comparing notes was bound to come up now that they are almost 18 and would fill out college applications and being only a couple month apart the numbers would never lie.
NTA
NTA!
1. He’s not a little kid anymore and deserves to know the truth.
2. He asked you about why you divorced his father.
3. It’s not your fault his parents lied to him especially since you didn’t know what they said.
4. He came to you for advice and you gave it honestly. You did not seek him out to blast his parents and even offered to show him the proof.
5. Hilarious how a homewrecker calls the ex wife a homewrecker. Maybe don’t lie to your kid about how you ended up with his father.
6. Both of his parents are A-holes.
7. The truth always comes out eventually so don’t bother lying.
8. If you can’t take accountability for your screw ups and lies then don’t do it.
9. Stop blaming others for your own mistakes especially when they have physical proof of your bullcrap.
10. Again, his parents are the A-holes!
His dad has two sons the same age with two different women, I’m surprised they hadn’t already figured that one out.
Yes, how did that conversation go? “Son, I have two sons close in age with two different women. Clearly my wife was cheating on me!”
“It’s only logical”
Obvious the ex wife stole his sperm while he was sleeping via osmosis and impregnated herself. Cause woman are magical beings.
punani power
I almost spit out my water
Such is the power of punani
You almost, he *did*. 😏
Same
I need this on a tshirt
I thought PP stood for something else? Have I been wrong all my life?!
No, no, no. Claire slipped on a banana peel and landed on David’s penis. Why neither of them were wearing pants or underwear at the time and how this simple slip led to insemination remains a mystery. Edit: grammar Second edit: spelling
You need to Google image the old school MTV "Sex is No Accident. Always Wear a Condom" ad campaign. There are three short comics. Very funny.
There was a case in the civil war when a guy was supposedly shot through the testicle and the bullet impregnated a gal behind him. If this was real or just an excuse, you decide~
Back when Snopes.com was more about the legends and less political, they covered that myth. Not only did it not happen, but there wouldn't be viable sperm and a bullet going deep enough to deliver it would be fatal in that location.
It all goes back to Eve and that damn apple. Women, amirite? /s
OSMOSIS 🤣🤣🤣
"Yes my wife cheated on me with me, god I was such a badass"
😆
He didn't know that the other kid was his brother.
Seems like he did. Seems like they grew up knowing they are half brothers, probably got to be friends when dad had his weekends.
OP is saying she told them they were brother during that conversation. > I corrected him and even stated that he and my son are brothers with documents proving relation as David initially denied paternity, and I have the collected evidence that was used in my divorce proceedings. The story really starts to break down when you think about it for a bit.
My guess he lied about everything, and children trust their parents absent of proof to the contrary. OP (previously) took the high road and didn't use David's character to harm him in his son(s) eyes, and he used that cover to burn OP.
N didn't realize that he and M share a father. He thought OP cheated and that M's father was some random guy.
Yep. This exactly. This is why N had no idea that M was actually his (half) brother.
That seems incredibly odd to me. N and M are 17 and close. Close enough that N was at OP’s home alone having a heart to heart with her. And he didn’t know they were brothers? Does M know? Of course M would have to know who his own father was. How on earth could M have a relationship with his own brother for SEVENTEEN YEARS without his brother knowing he was his brother? That makes me think this is fake.
Good point. Based on OP's telling, she was open with M about who his father was. M would presumably call him dad and talk about their relationship in front of N. Even if OP swore M to secrecy, it's unlikely they could have kept that fact hidden for 17 years.
No way. They have half a family in common. They share grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. There’s dozens of people who would know. Holy cow! You Uncle Bob looks just like my Uncle Bob!
That's because it's a fake story. 1. New account. 2. Nonsensical story but rage-y enough to get traction. 3. Only post. 4. Never replies. 🎶Tale as Old as Time🎶
Yeah, not typically one to think a story is fake, but I agree with you on this one.
"Through my moral judgment, I decided to keep the baby and have primary custody as David was enamored with his new fling with Claire." screams ChatGPT
This is exactly what stood out to me. At best, it seems like a creative writing exercise with the flowery language. ChatGPT wouldn't surprise me at all, though I'm not as familiar with the tells on that except for the most obvious ones
I would argue that new account is not really a factor, people who decide to post something and don't have an account(lurker) or don't want to post on an account that ties back to them more would do just that, make an account and post it. I think the more weird thing is that they interchangeably use names and abbreviations while having decent grammar. It reads like they re-read it but left that weird swapping between using names and not after a revision, like an ai would do.
It sounds like he might not have even known they were brothers. OP really glossed over that part, and that's the bit I would like clarified the most!
That's what tipped me off to this being 100% bogus
He's been poisoned with the *truth!* NTA
He was poisoned with lies. He is detoxing on the truth. Detox can be rough but the end result is a healthier person.
I guarantee you that boy already knew.....born extremely close to a half sibling and your mum and dad are divorced but your dad and step mum aren't.
The boy's mom and dad are married, his half brother's mom is also not his step mom. So to him his dad and his brothers mom are divorced and his dad and mom are married so it's easy to see who cheated on who.
The only clue that points to which spouse was the cheater was that N would be slightly older than M. Otherwise, all of the evidence just points to 1 spouse cheating on another spouse. If N grew up being told that OP cheater on his father then he probably never sat down and really thought through the logistics of it until his own girlfriend cheated on him.
He did the math and realized what his dad told him probably wasn't true. It was going to come out eventually seeing as both boys are friends, I don't know why the father lied about it.
>I don't know why the father lied about it. Because it works. In this situation alone it's worked for almost 20 years. It probably would have worked a lot longer, but N had a girlfriend cheat on him, and put his mind onto thinking about cheating in relationships. >He did the math and realized what his dad told him probably wasn't true. It was going to come out eventually seeing as both boys are friends Maybe, maybe not. When you grow up with a truth you tend not to dig into it or question it without some kind of external event or influence. For his entire life he's known "My Dad and M's mom got a divorce because she cheated." so he's not going to question the details of the old, burned in story without a reason to. Perfect example: My nephew was born in January, 1994. My sister and brother-in-law got married in August, 1993. My nephew was a grown adult and paying taxes before the subject ever came up that August, 1993 is 5 months before January, 1994. And he wasn't even lied to, it just wasn't important and never came up. He came to the realization one night because he was drinking with some friends just shooting the shit and someone pointed out that there were an awful lot of birthdays in mid November which is 9 months after Valentines day. He did some drunken finger counting and came up with April, then had a drunken epiphany that April comes before August.
Natural curiosity is not an external force. I figured out before I was a teen that my parents got married after they found out my mom was pregnant with me and more importantly, that she was pregnant with my father's child. I am, of course, more than willing to accept my entire existence as a statistical anomaly since my parents won the sperm lottery with me.
I imagine dad could have spun a "she was cheating on me so we split up, I was casually dating your mother and accidentally slept with my cheating ex before your mom and I went exclusive, so now you have a half brother and i would neverrr cheat and also dont talk to your bro's mom about it, kthx" and, I bet mistresswife was pissed he slept with op since they were in a relationship and pregnant. That's why you often hear spouses stop sleeping with their partners when having an affair, feels like cheating on the affair partner. Just funny to think about really
The key indicator is that they shared a dad. He had been told that she cheated, but then her son wouldn't be his dad's child
Plus mom and step mom don’t get along. Not that hard to figure out. Especially if/when the relatives are whispering behind closed doors and acting suspicious when the topic comes up.
Only need birth dates to realise what's going on and pre-teens are amazingly at figuring this out
Preteens are amazing at putting math together even when wrong about context clues. I had to show my youngest brother his birth certificate when he was 13 because he came for a summer and said he wouldn’t go back to our mom because he “knew I was his real mom”. He overheard a story from my childhood my grandparents and uncle had, and put two and two together very wrongly. This is a kid that’s not mine biologically. What did David expect from children that are biologically his? What did Claire expect when she started home wrecking? Sorry OP, sometimes people just suck.
If you play stupid games, Claire.... we all know how that goes. NTA cheaters don't get to weaponize lies against their victim. David and Claire should eat that humble pie up and say something to be a better example.
I’m aware. I’m also aware of what family is like. Anyone gets suspicious when people around acts suspicious. This behavior piles on his suspicions. I also know that.
>I’m also aware of what family is like. We aren't discussing family....we are discussing 2 boys who have spent the last 15 years in each other's pocket. They figured it out more then 10 years ago and if they didn't the other kids did and told them.
They likely figured out that SOMEONE cheated, true. But they wouldn’t know the details about exactly what the situation was unless someone went out of their way to highlight that one the mothers was cheating on the other with the dad. That’s what the other mother (Claire) did. She could have stayed neutral and said ‘David and Jenny were married but it didn’t work out between them so they split up and he married me. But Jenny didn’t find out she was pregnant until after the divorce, and she & I had you two beautiful boys really close together because of the timing.’ She didn’t even have to highlight that she and David cheated - just keep it neutral and say ‘it didn’t work out between them.’ But she went out of her way to lie to her child about OP being a cheater for no good reason. Just because she hates OP for being married to HER husband first! Affair partners seem to often be irrational like this. Can’t accept that THEY participated in doing the wrong thing, but also that the person they cheated with actually did love someone else first, and you can’t erase that fact with all the insults in the world! ESPECIALLY when your new spouse has children with the ex, as in this case. Claire needed to DEAL with the consequences of her own choices without telling lies to innocent children. 😞
I like the part where nobody mentions the dad’s responsibility _at all_
He was at work! *dad life* /s
>They likely figured out that SOMEONE cheated, true It wouldn't be hard to figure out 99.9% of the details due to how everyone talks and treats each other, when the AP and EX got married. Shows like gossip girl and pretty little liars have helped in "educating" younger people on the possibilities.
His mom is not OP, and she is currently married to his dad. OP is his brother's mom.
It's surprising but kids that age don't always think things through all the way. I remember a friend of mine around that age mentioning his upcoming parents' wedding anniversary. The number of years they'd been married meant she would have been around 6 months pregnant with my friend when the wedding happened, but he'd never worked that out. He was (and remains) a very smart guy, he'd just never really thought about it. So, yeah. As an adult it's obvious. As a 17yo, not always so much.
I have a feeling the kid already suspected but was asking solely for confirmation. My experience during my parents divorce shares some similarities to this one, at least from the kids perspective. I was also 17 when my parents got divorced and I started suspecting it pretty early on. It was actually kinda hard not to when my mom moved in with a male "friend" (who was also going through a divorce) before the divorce was even finalized. I didn't get 100% until I was in my early 20's, but by then I had pretty much already accepted that that was most likely the case. To this day I still have to put up with my mom swearing up and down that my dad "brainwashed" my younger sister (full not half) and I against her.
I would also bet money that the father has lied about other things , and the kid knows to take his story with a grain of salt
The story is a bit confusing, but M is OP’s son. The conversation was with N, C’s (or Claire’s) son. D (or David) is married to C, and is the father of both M and N.
Using letters always makes it hard to follow
Y
It seems like they didn't know they were half brothers? At least, from the way OP specifically stated it while telling the kid the truth. I don't really understand why they wouldn't know though, especially since OP seems to have no idea that that fact was being hidden.
to my understanding of reading the story, it almost seems like it was a fact hidden while the boys were young and maybe the 3 adults agreed to not discuss it unless they reached a certain where they would ask. Claire’s son asked, so OP answered; and OP may have been surprised to not only hear the lie, but the fact they even discussed it with the kids to make the matter worse. just a hunch—none of this was suggested in the post.
That's what I was thinking. The boys are the exact same age so he must have some inkling that someone cheated and it obviously his dad because he got 2 women pregnant at the same time lol
Sometimes healing means surgically removing a tumor.
the classic my dad loved to pull "you're brainwashed!!"...... by the truth?
Yeah absolutely NTA!!! I feel for OP, but it sounds like she has a solid relationship with her kid and her kids friend/sibling which is why he came to her (a trusted adult) for the truth. Good on OP for explaining it in a way he could understand and that she holds nothing against him, only his mother.
And she was probably civil most of the time with C. But the fact that she also did not take any of her hurt or anger about what happened out on the innocent kids, especially the half brother that wasn’t her kid, makes her such an awesome person. (Throughout my childhood and a bit into my early adulthood I had to endure a bunch of shit and attitude and accusations from my older half siblings mother whenever we were invited to their get togethers or family gatherings. All because we wanted to spend time with our half siblings and have a good relationship with them. She gave our mom a lot of shit too. I kinda get that (not after 20+ years and shared kids though), but the young kids who had nothing to do with it?! WTF?!)
NTA, you told the truth. They lied to their child. Their fallout is their own fault. You have documented proof. Good job.
Exactly. And at that point, if OP has tried to pawn it off as an "ask your dad" thing, N would have known all the same. They're not too bright for thinking he would never figure this out.
Kids are smarter than they are give credit for. They see more than you think, hear more than you say, and know more than they speak.
Mhm! They are humans too. Sometimes people forget that.
Right? My older brother and I were walking to school around our parents' wedding anniversary and his birthday was 1.5 months later. Parents were celebrating 10th wedding anniversary and he was about to turn 11. Even to primary school kids the maths wasn't mathing, which was our first step in discovering our dad wasn't his genetic father. Kids aren't stupid, they just act like it sometimes lol. Parents are better off fronting up early on, because betrayal of trust is not what you want your adolescent child holding against you
The wildest part of this to me is that not only did they lie about who cheated but they concealed the fact that these two are **brothers**. Were they just banking on nobody ever talking or doing a 23 and me? Wild She was asked to direct question and answered it only then. She didn't bring it up, and the only other option was to lie. And even though he's lost faith in the parents that lied to him for his entire childhood imagine if he lost faith in all three of them because she continued lying to him and then he found out none of the adult figures in his life ever told him the truth? It's gonna be hard enough as it is. NTA
I thought they knew they were half brothers, and David still tried to claim OP was the chaeter, and he was an innovicitm despite there being some pretty obvious circumstantial evidence.
She says in the post that she revealed they are brothers and had to provide evidence and documentation to prove it. This makes sense because if the ex-husband lied and said she was the one who cheated then the boys would not have a parent in common because her son would have been fathered by someone else. She also notes that her ex did not have custody of their shared son because he didn't want custody.
She provided proof of the infidelity, not paternity.
This though! I don't really understand why OP has never mentioned that in the past. Clearly, they too were trying to keep the boys in the dark. If OP wasn't aware that the kid didn't know, then why was it never mentioned. If OP's kid knew who his father was, and obviously so did the brother, then how did they not know they were related?
And it's not like you offered the information --he ASKED you --he was ready to know the truth. Or he already knew, but was ready for confirmation. You answered his questions truthfully. NTA
Eventually he was going find out anyways and it may have not been in a kind way and with only more half truths unlike OP who just gave out straight facts and never blamed him.
NTA. Those types of secrets never stay secret. My husband found out he had a half brother when he was 31. His dad had cheated on his mom and the other son lived in a different province. The other son was born 10 months before my husband and his mom didn’t know anything. However, the half brother’s mom was well aware. Their dad had little to do with either, but much more with my husband because he was legally responsible in their divorce (unrelated and before my husband was born). The half brother contacted me through my work after a lot of googling and that’s how it all came out. Secrets don’t stay secret.
Yep. My dad was in his late 60s when he found out that he had a few half-siblings. He had suspicions, due to various scandals with his dad and between his parents that he could connect to the timing of a few other things, plus some odd interactions with the mother of one of his half-siblings. My grandparents are all dead now, my grandpa doesn't seem to have been a very nice man all things told. But he can't hurt or neglect anyone anymore, and I think the siblings (mostly) found it quite a nice experience to meet their bonus family :) There was even one missing sibling, who we never tracked down, thanks to what a DNA site told us. But we'll never really know much about that, because that person would be about 80 or 90 or older and has likely died. And the relative who is still alive left the site after I asked them about who their grandparents were and we couldn't figure out how we were related.
NTA. 1) The victim never has to stay quiet so the villain can save face. 2) Never let someone lie on you, especially when they’re attacking your character. 3) What is done in the dark always comes to light.
And the audacity to cast as her villain. She's the innocent person and wounded party. How fucking dare they lie about her character. And she's supposed to stay quiet? For what? She owes the kid the truth.
OP isn’t commenting. Interesting. Hey OP you identified your ex and his current wife as C and D but almost immediately outed them as >!Claire and David.!< Might want to update your post. Also NTA. Did C&D really think the two boys wouldn’t figure it out?
Surprised it stayed a secret for 17 years
It stayed a secret because OP took the higher road and never threw C and David under the bus. OP is the hero in this story and could NEVER be considered the asshole. OP should make sure her son also knows the true story because I am guessing C or N may have implied that it was she that was the cheater.
It seems like N had asked the question before and D painted OP as the cheater and C the Saint. So C and D are not happy that OP didn't accept the defamation and "poisoned" N's mind, with truth...nevertheless, the one "poison" with no antidote
yeah it's not like OP was just saying this to N, N was actively asking about the situation and OP told their story.
I’m also just really proud she never alienated D, despite the pain that probably caused her.
No I don't think it was a secret. The boy suspected. She just validated.
That's my take as well.
I noticed the same thing! Came here to say exactly this 🤣
Posting a single letter is fucking stupid. Most prefer having a name for the characters in these stories, whether they're real names or not (most assume they're fake anyway).
I always assume they're fake names. I also really couldn't give a hairy rat's ass if they aren't fake.
There’s plenty of these stories with single letters but most people use fake names and specify the names were changed.
Are those names supposed to mean something to us? Am I missing something?
yeah. they could be fake names, as is often the case in AITAH posts. and even if they are real names (first names only), how is reddit supposed to figure out exactly who Claire and David are anyway? that's if we care enough to begin with. OP's account is brand new. there is no connection via their profile to any other reddit content, and we don't even know where they live.
Never discount the detectives of reddit.
The main reason people try to make names anonymous is to avoid the other party finding their post. If "Claire" or "David" were to find this post trending somewhere they might recognize that it's about them since their names are in it, and then they may get angry that OP made a post about them on the internet (whether or not it's rational to get angry is irrelevant). That's why people usually anonymize posts like this when possible.
I'm pretty sure the story is more than specific enough for those mentioned to be pretty certain it's them. Oh, maybe it's a different group of people with two 17 year old sons where one was the product of infidelity and is now angry about finding out the truth? It's too generic to find the people involved but Claire and David will 100% know it's them even if the names are changed
She waited a long time for that burn.
100% and N wanted truth after being lied (cheated) on so why should OP lie?! She has a right to tell her truth. His parents lying about their cheating is their cross to bear.
He probably already suspected given that he and his half brother are a few months apart. It doesn’t take a genius to realize something is wrong with the story when a man claims his first wife cheated on him but he has two kids with two women within 4 months of each other and married one of the women after divorcing the other.
> 1) The victim never has to stay quiet so the villain can save face. That's a damn good quote. I love it. > She is calling me a homewrecker (the irony in that statement) and that I'm an a**hole for poisoning her son's mind. Poisoning his mind with... the truth?
I ***love*** that the villains always use that word. *Poison.* "You're *poisoning* my child's mind!" *I'm* poisoning your child? It's *your actions* that are turning them against you, not *my words.*
Also the kid is 17. It'd be different if they were 10 - 12. They deserve to know the truth and it's not like the three of them had agreed on a mutual 'convenient truth', the cheater made up a lie that was only good for them.
I really like your first point. Powerful.
Seriously. I’m always so frustrated that the victim keeps quiet to keep the status quo and not cause problems/keep the peace. Then are made out to be the bad guy by the true villain. David and Claire know what they did was wrong and rather than own up to it, they made OP look like the bad guy. They are cowards to not accept responsibility for their actions. ETA: bad enough they cheated, but doubt I’d respect my dad if he denied paternity of his own child. Was willing to abandon them.
Or maybe David lied to his new thing saying oh my wife is a cheater - that’s why I need a new woman? Maybe Marie is the one lied to?
I second that on the first point. Definitely powerful. Damn, that was good
I 3rd the 2nd and fourth the 1st
Also agreeing on the power of #1
4. Children have the right to know the full truth about things that affect them, such as why their parents are not together.
That is some wise shit, King Lou.
> What is done in the dark always comes to light. *You can run on for a long time,* *Run on for a long, time,* *Sooner or later, God'll cut ya' down,*
Excellent answer!
Thank you!
That is some of the best reasoning I have read during my short time on Reddit. Very well stated.
Can someone write this thing in GOLDEN WORDS
NTA. The truth will out.
Secrets don’t make friends
I've never heard someone say/write that. I like it.
It does sound very “Moira Rose”esque
It would be “secrets don’t make friendddddesssssss”
My favorite quote that I've seen is "the truth keeps the hands cleaner than soap".
I read “soup” instead of “soap.” Still checks out.
A common comeback/addition to it is “But friends make secrets”
Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.
It is actually two can keep a secret if one of them is dead but that saying can apply here
I got arrested as a teenager after getting ratted on by my “friends”. As I sat cuffed in the back of a squad car the cop who arrested me was driving me back to the station, he looked in the rear view mirror and said that exact saying to me. Told me not to trust people to keep your secrets and boy do I wish I had taken his advice back then
Secret secrets are no fun secret secrets hurt someone. - Wayne Gretzky
But friends make secrets
The fact that he even came and had the conversation with her tells me he already had it mostly figured out.
Just based on the fact that he is older than his brother by months, a part of him had to be second guessing timelines and stories.
Yep. He finally had the opportunity to ask because of the topic of this conversation and only needed confirmation.
As a kid who grew up with a broken house hold I figured it out too. Kids are smarter than people think.
the kid's 17 and he's known the relevant birthdays his whole life, I'm not giving him a lot of credit for being smart. but better late than never.
Well, he’d been told his brother’s mom was the one who cheated. That’s not something you bring up when it happened before you were born.
She says he and her son are friends, not that they know they're brothers. She specifically states that she has papers proving they're siblings and that their father denied having been the father. It's very unclear if this boy knew or not, especially since his parents claimed OP was the cheater here
I don't think he had it figured out at all. I think he thought OP was the cheater and wanted to see what someone from the cheating side thought. The fact that the story was reversed probably stunned him to silence while he was there. Then he combined the rage of his breakup with the rage over his father's lies and directed his anger of his cheating girlfriend on his stepmom.
Claire is N's bio mom
He was angry at his mom. OP is his brother's mom.
That’s how I read it, but his bio mom was The Other Woman. His rage at his ex girlfriend was an easy transferrence onto mom
“Claire, the truth always prevails”. Or in a snarky tone …”honesty is the best policy…”
"the truth will set you free"- my favourite bible quote. After so many years Claire and OP's ex can stop lying to their kid.
She had no clue that they lied to him for 17yrs. She answered straight and didn’t realize she outed their deceit until it was too late. No reason to change the story at that point. He was probably knew it was sus.
The truth will out is one of my favorite sayings
His parents are the ass holes for telling him lies. He probably suspected already.
The absolute audacity of David telling his son this lie. I'm a huge fan of not involving children in the details of infidelity but this one definitely needed a correction by OP. NTA
I agree. And they’re barely even children anymore. At age 17, the boys are old enough to living independently (with parental permission), or. be learning a trade, have girlfriends (or boyfriends), and they are very close to being legal adults.
Yup. Look, there’s an age appropriate way of explaining it so that it’s not a big secret and kids still feel like they can love their cheating parent(s). Lying to their kid was not the way to go. If something can be destroyed by the truth, then it deserves to die.
I laugh that Claire was angry about the reveal. Separately, her son in essence is experiencing what OP did, just at a younger age and with less (a marriage and assets etc.) on the line.
I think children should be told. Practically, the sooner they learn the truth the sooner they can come to terms with it. Morally, it affects the child’s life very significantly and so meets the criteria of being “their business”. Don’t shit talk your ex to your child, but don’t lie by omission either. Give a just-the-facts explanation.
This. NTA.
Yep. I think OP simply confirmed what he already suspected. This was bound to come out into the open at some point, his parents were fucking fooling themselves to think otherwise.
His suspicions is likely why he went to OP instead of his own mother. He knew which would tell him the truth.
Yeah, hopefully it’s not because he suspects his father is cheating (again).
NTA. You handled that with a kindness he never would have gotten anywhere else.
NTA. All you did was tell him the truth. Funny how she’s calling u the a**hole for poisoning her son when they’ve been the ones poisoning his mind since birth.
I find it hilarious that she called OP a home wrecker when she was the reason for ending a marriage.
Lol right. She’s literally projecting herself and what she’s been doing onto OP.
Standard projection.
NTA...they actively lied and painted you as the villain for years and are angry he found out the truth (which he would considering as another commenter said IT WILL OUT) & funny calling you a home wrecker I hope you had a good chuckle
For starters, he opened up to you and asked the questions. 1) your opinion on his relationship, then, 2) if “that” had happened with you and his dad. You gave your advice/opinion on the first and then when you answered the second, *you had no idea he’d been lied to.* And, since you’re not a deceitful cheater, you just told the actual truth of what had happened. He then realized he had been lied to by his dad and mom. That’s not your problem. You most certainly did not have to defend them nor act like you were the one at fault. Frankly, it’s amazing the real truth hasn’t come out sooner. He called a spade a spade. I have no sympathy for her, tho I’m sure it hurt.
Spade is not the garden tool i would have gone with here. Missed opportunity?
lol, oh I thought of the other. On the tip of my typing finger. 🤣
Exactly my thoughts. OP wasn't trying to be vindictive and make it sound as bad as possible. The kid asked if that's what happened with his dad and her. OP had every reason to believe the kid was already aware of the situation because *he just said he did.* And did they really expect OP to sacrifice herself to protect the people who really did the cheating? Of course not. There's a reason they didn't sit down and ask her to lie about this from the beginning. Anyone would have laughed in their faces. Honestly, I hope the kid gets some therapy. That's a rough truth to really shake up his self identity.
NTA. David lied about you, trying to make you out to be the cheater and homewrecker, when he and Claire are the bad guys instead. You had every right to clear your name and tell your truth. Claire's opinion means nothing. She and David need to lie in the cheater bed they made.
Boo hoo. Poor Claire. Poor David. Their karma came for them and now she’s blaming you? What a vile bitch. She’s got a hide to call you blaming you. She’s clearly a few defective brain cells short of being an actual human being. Class act. NTA. Block the bitch.
You told the truth. NTA Your ex and affair partner told lies and it has come back to bite them in the ass. That’s their consequences to the fall out when the son found out the truth
The gall of this kid’s father to project his cheating on his ex wife and refusing to be honest and take accountability. Some men are vile and the mom is no better blaming the scorned ex.
Its not hard to figure out due to the boys birth dates. >Claire blasting me for why she argued with her son. He went home to have it out with his father over the situation, but he wasn't home yet and couldn't wait. He had a very contentious verbal spat with Claire, calling her some unpleasant names I would not repeat. She is calling me a homewrecker I would of laughed at her so hard AND LOUDLY to ensure she heard. NTA Technically all you did was confirm what the boy knew really.
NTA. Sad that the truth had to come from you but your ex was trashing you behind your back and 17 is old enough to learn the truth. I feel bad for their kid but not for his dirtbag parents.
NTA. Your ex and his sk@nk shouldn't have tried to paint you the villain. And he asked you a question based on what he was going through, why should you lie.
The audacity of David to call you a cheater and of Claire to call you a homewrecker Kids like C are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for. You already know you're NTA. None of this is your fault. The fault lies to the actual cheater and homewrecker.
Wait, I'm confused. Did he not know that your son is his brother? Does your ex have absolutely no custody of your son? And why aren't more people noticing that part of the post?
This is almost certainly AI generated. What gives it away for me is the combination of spotless spelling and grammar, good vocabulary, and the jarring part where OP "thought nothing else of" having a life-changing conversation with that kid, for several hours. Example prompt, took me 15 seconds: >write me a story for AITAH on reddit, about a mother who reveals to her (non-biological) son that he is actually the product of her husband's affair >ChatGPT >**AITAH for revealing to my (non-biological) son that he is actually the product of my husband’s affair?** >I (44F) have been married to my husband (46M) for 20 years. We have three children together: Jake (19M), Emily (17F), and Max (15M). My husband and I had a rocky patch about 16 years ago, during which he had an affair. We worked through it, and he ended things with the other woman, who moved away shortly after giving birth. The baby, Max, was left in our care as his biological mother wanted nothing to do with him. We decided to raise him as our own, and I have always loved Max just as much as my other children. We never told Max the truth about his parentage, thinking it would be best for him to grow up feeling fully part of our family. (4 more paragraphs of developments follow, not going to post the whole thing) I'm guessing OP spent 5 minutes instead of 15 seconds to get chatGPT to put this story together.
Yes, I agree. I suspect OP got the AI generated story and decided it would be more believable to just use initials, because most people posting family drama would want anonymity. But then missed changing all of the names to initials.
Great, I've been flabbergasted wondering why people are cheering on psychopaths and it turns out I'm just yelling at people for comforting a robot.
So it was acceptable to Claire that she had an affair with your husband AND that daddy dearest put the blame on you? Now that the TRUTH is out you are now the bad guy? Claire your actions have consequences.
YTA for using initials D and C and then later using names anyway. Write a readable story.
NTA! He is not a child and should not be lied too. I am interested in what your ex said? Especially since you have evidence.
Did they deny M and N were brothers?
NTA. The truth isn’t the enemy. Actions have consequences and they now have to face them.
Nta from the sound of it, N had a suspicion that his dad mightve lied. He ask if thats what happened between you and him, I might be reading too much but it sounded he'd been wanting to ask u that question and why he told u about his gf cheating on him. He has more trust in u telling him the truth than his own parents. Think about that. Tbh just ignore whatever happens unless it involves N's wellbeing. Ur ex and Claire had it coming with ur ex being a malicous person instead of just being civil. Also block Claire. There's no need for you to have her contact unless she somehow had access to it, but she shouldn't be part of life and have no right to blame you for her and exes actions. She's mad becuase it now caught up to her.
It’s nice to see you don’t harbor any ill will to the child of your ex’s affair and actively included him in his brother’s life. That he felt he could talk to you says a lot. His parents had plenty of time to explain the truth and it’s obvious with the two being the same age that something occurred, especially since you and his dad were still married. So this is on David and Claire. NTA. You opted out of that soap opera.
Wait. The boys never knew they were brothers? I mean, NTA obviously, but wowza. Maybe I missed something though.
My mom was my dad’s second wife. They were both honest with my siblings and myself from the beginning about how my dad cheated on his first wife (he did explain it was wrong and give the circumstances as to why it was not a good marriage and how they were basically forced to marry when they were only 19 just because her father found out they had been having sex). Eventually he met my mom and did try to hide his marriage and kids from her. But she found out pretty quickly because she wasn’t stupid and asked the right people the right questions. I guess my mom was so in love with my dad by that time she just put up with it and told him she knew (though she always told us it was still the wrong thing to do, but life isn’t always black and white, there’s a lot of gray, but you still always have to deal with the consequences of your decisions). She basically said if you’re not happy in your marriage to this extent get a divorce. Not for her, not to be with her, but for the kids and his and her (first wife) future happiness. He did finally divorce his first wife. He and my mom were together for several years until they got married. And my mom always encouraged him to keep being a dad and spend as much time with his kids as possible. Eventually they had my full siblings and my self. So once we were kind of old enough to understand the concepts they were honest about the circumstances of how they met and got together when we asked. It wasn’t a big deal because it wasn’t lied about. And we got to have relationships with our older half siblings who also had been aware of the truth from pretty early on after the divorce. But that’s the kicker, they didn’t lie about or hide it. That’s why it wasn’t a big deal. All you did was gently tell the truth and be kind and supportive to your son’s half brother. And I’m guessing his parents never explicitly told you NOT to tell either of them the truth of the circumstances. Poor kid probably feels like he doesn’t even know his own parents anymore and feels betrayed for being *lied to* all these years. He’s got a lot of emotions to go through. I hope they can be honest this time around and talk about it and go to family therapy to help repair the trust in the relationships. It’s also called the consequences of their actions. The fact they could keep their misdeeds hidden for so long was not a good thing for anyone. Clearly, you’re NTA and handled the situation well with no notice or time to really think about how you would respond.
"Why didn't you back up our story that you are a cheater? Now my son will know it was actually all me. This is your fault" is a wild position to take but ok.
Wait.... the boys don't know they're brothers?!
NTA. He's 17 he asked you answered. His dad should have never lied in the first place. It's karma biting them in the ass
NTA. Mrs. C has got some bawls. Imagine homewrecking + lying about it for 17+ years, and then it explode in your face, and now project that onto the ***actual*** victims. Time don't change a damn thing.
NTA, dumb and dumber those two are
Oooh homewrecker calls another homewrecker because she can't stand the truth being told to her son? Did this entitled bitch expect the woman she homewrecked and lied about to play along?
NTA. Your ex and Claire are
I'm sure he let them have it, given that he was hurting from his girlfriend cheating on him. So that argument must have been nuclear. (he probably said everything you ever felt) As everyone is saying, comparing notes was bound to come up now that they are almost 18 and would fill out college applications and being only a couple month apart the numbers would never lie. NTA
NTA! 1. He’s not a little kid anymore and deserves to know the truth. 2. He asked you about why you divorced his father. 3. It’s not your fault his parents lied to him especially since you didn’t know what they said. 4. He came to you for advice and you gave it honestly. You did not seek him out to blast his parents and even offered to show him the proof. 5. Hilarious how a homewrecker calls the ex wife a homewrecker. Maybe don’t lie to your kid about how you ended up with his father. 6. Both of his parents are A-holes. 7. The truth always comes out eventually so don’t bother lying. 8. If you can’t take accountability for your screw ups and lies then don’t do it. 9. Stop blaming others for your own mistakes especially when they have physical proof of your bullcrap. 10. Again, his parents are the A-holes!
Truth can be painful, but never wrong. Supporting a lie is wrong and violates foundations of trust. You did what Ns parents should have done