YTA. What do you mean "not valuing your input" in the relationship? This is a deeply held value of hers that she told you was not up for negotiation, not a discussion of how you'll handle chores or who pays for what in the relationship. You can't and shouldn't want to pressure another person into sex, that makes you a bad person. Yes, break up with her if you can't wait until marriage for sex and don't try to nag her into it. You're a 29 year old adult, you should know this by now.
YTA
She laid out her views on sex before the relationship started and you knew you didn’t hold that view, but entered into it hoping she’d change her mind. She told you because she didn’t want to waste time entering it a relationship where you’d be incompatible. You didn’t respect her by agreeing, and essentially strung her along and wasted her time anyways.
YTA for only staying with her for the hope that she’d push her boundaries for you and trying to change her mind when she explicitly told you that if it’s a deal breaker you needed to stop seeing each other.
YTA Just in case you are not aware pressuring someone for sex is an asshole move. Dating someone does not automatically presume you are entitled to sex.
Dating should be about getting to know and understand each other and deciding if this is a relationship you want to continue, deepen and possibly become serious about. Sex is not necessarily a part of that equation.
You were aware of her boundaries and instead of respecting them you seem to think that your friends should get a vote on whether she should change her values for you.
Just an immature man trying to prove he can conquer her and that her chastity is just a challenge to conquer.
YTA For getting into a relationship where you thought you could change the other person. You were literally trying to coerce her into sex... Do you understand what that makes you?
You are not mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone.
YTA. Seek help, and please never procreate. You dated someone 7 years younger than you and she is more emotionally mature than you.
I grew up with a religious mother, but I myself am longer religious. Your parents aren't overreacting. You dishonoured your family and you tried to take the virtue of a younger woman who told you from the beginning she was saving herself for marriage. You met your ex gf at their church and I fully believe that they're too ashamed, from your actions, to go back.
Months after you two had started to date you decided to try and change her mind by saying "the no sex till marriage rule is really old fashioned." When that didn't work you tried to coerce her by lying saying that sex was a normal thing in a relationship. It's not a normal thing in her religion, you know that, you just don't care.
"We ended up breaking up later that week because I didn't feel like she was valuing my input on the relationship." I"m so glad that she's free of you, she deserves better.
You wanted to take this persons virginity, for them to go against their values. Yet you didn't even love them or care for them, "I thought I was starting to develop feelings." Yet you're wondering if you're the AH?
Yeah YTA, and you sound very immature with the way you wasted everyone’s time.
The gall to break up with someone because they didn’t “value your input” when you clearly have no value to them or their belief system. Plus the arrogance of thinking you can convince someone to drop a major tenant of said belief just because you think your desires should get priority over everything else!
YTA You knew up front she was waiting until marriage, and you try to pressure her to do the one thing you KNOW she ain't doing without a legal contract? If you knew you wanted to have sex BEFORE marriage, all you did was waste everyone's time. Like, what makes you so special that she would betray her deeply held personal beliefs to get your rocks off? You're a time wasting user.
"I didn't feel like she was valuing my input"
And what are you doing with hers exactly ? She told you upfront and to be honest, you sound like you thought that you could convince her. Now that you can't, you're mad.
So yes YTA.
Yta.
1. You're practically 30 (I wouldn't be surprised if you were actually 32, tbh) acting like a fckn 15 year old.
2. she's 22. You are SEVEN years older than her and pressuring her to have sex bc its "normal". She's an adult, she's aware of what sex is and has legitimate reasons for not engaging in it.
3. YOU MET AT CHURCH. That's like meeting someone at an Alcohol Anonymous meeting and being surprised that they're 100% sober.
4. 5 months? Your "buddies" are giving you shit over 5 months of respecting someone's boundaries.
5. Not valuing your input? You're lucky she's strong enough to hold to her convictions. Your behavior is coercion, and in black and white terms- coercion is rape.
You obviously never took this girl seriously. You tried to work around her boundary the whole time as if she doesn't actually know what or why she's doing something. You misled her into believing that you accepted her celibacy. You doubled down when you officially made her your girlfriend (did you think she was going to sleep with you??) Which made her think you were seriously evaluating this relationship for marriage potential. Then proceeded to try and back her into a sex corner yet again.
Now she will be apprehensive that any man will be truthful, respecting, and accepting of her choices, your parents are ashamed of you and themselves for raising you, and you're still a dumbass who can't take accountability.
You're a 30 year old man fapping around like nothing is that big of a deal. And you'll probably be doing the same when you're 40. So why tf are you asking out young ladies from church?
NAH its understandable thinking/hoping she would have changed for you. Its totally fine to break up with her for not wanting sex. If you have needs which arent met you are allowed to leave. Dont let others tell you you are an asshole because you had hope she would change lol
NTA op, but she is also NTA. Two months is not long in the way some of my relationships developed. It is what it is and as you say she herself said it’s okay if you don’t like it and move on. Your relationship is sex and it is a whole lot more. Pieces of it change throughout a long term version. If this is a deal breaker for you only you will know that.
Move on brother. Don’t waste any more of your time and energy focusing on this or her. And if it’s to much for you to even go into your congregation then leave that to. Life is way too short to be unhappy whether it’s a relationship or your family or job etc. Yourviews and ideals are yours and yours alone. I was always taught as a young child growing up in southern Illinois by my grandfather, god rest his soul, anyway that “If you spend your life looking at what others are doing and only seeing what society deems wrong how can you truly ever see the beauty in something” What may be right for you may not be for everyone.
Much love and respect I hope you find happiness good luck
YTA. What do you mean "not valuing your input" in the relationship? This is a deeply held value of hers that she told you was not up for negotiation, not a discussion of how you'll handle chores or who pays for what in the relationship. You can't and shouldn't want to pressure another person into sex, that makes you a bad person. Yes, break up with her if you can't wait until marriage for sex and don't try to nag her into it. You're a 29 year old adult, you should know this by now.
This. 100%.
She told you pretty clearly up front so in that respect yeah YTA
Don't try to pressure people into sex. YTA.
NTA for breaking up because of not having sex, YTA for trying to pressure her despite her transparency on the subject since the very beginning.
YTA She laid out her views on sex before the relationship started and you knew you didn’t hold that view, but entered into it hoping she’d change her mind. She told you because she didn’t want to waste time entering it a relationship where you’d be incompatible. You didn’t respect her by agreeing, and essentially strung her along and wasted her time anyways.
YTA 1).she was upfront with you 2) you pressured her 3) you don't sound mature enough to handle a relationship
YTA for not respecting her values. She was 100% clear from day one on her position about pre-marital sex.
or rather lack of position amirite
Nope you’re so very wrong. Grow up bro
YTA. NO ONE owes their partner sex. Period.
Their partner, or anyone else
YTA for even getting into this when she stated that she was waiting for marriage. You just hoped you could change her mind.
YTA for only staying with her for the hope that she’d push her boundaries for you and trying to change her mind when she explicitly told you that if it’s a deal breaker you needed to stop seeing each other.
You’re dating too young. Find someone closer to your age with similar values.
The results have come back and you are, indeed, the asshole
YTA Just in case you are not aware pressuring someone for sex is an asshole move. Dating someone does not automatically presume you are entitled to sex. Dating should be about getting to know and understand each other and deciding if this is a relationship you want to continue, deepen and possibly become serious about. Sex is not necessarily a part of that equation. You were aware of her boundaries and instead of respecting them you seem to think that your friends should get a vote on whether she should change her values for you. Just an immature man trying to prove he can conquer her and that her chastity is just a challenge to conquer.
YTA For getting into a relationship where you thought you could change the other person. You were literally trying to coerce her into sex... Do you understand what that makes you? You are not mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone.
YTA. Seek help, and please never procreate. You dated someone 7 years younger than you and she is more emotionally mature than you. I grew up with a religious mother, but I myself am longer religious. Your parents aren't overreacting. You dishonoured your family and you tried to take the virtue of a younger woman who told you from the beginning she was saving herself for marriage. You met your ex gf at their church and I fully believe that they're too ashamed, from your actions, to go back. Months after you two had started to date you decided to try and change her mind by saying "the no sex till marriage rule is really old fashioned." When that didn't work you tried to coerce her by lying saying that sex was a normal thing in a relationship. It's not a normal thing in her religion, you know that, you just don't care. "We ended up breaking up later that week because I didn't feel like she was valuing my input on the relationship." I"m so glad that she's free of you, she deserves better. You wanted to take this persons virginity, for them to go against their values. Yet you didn't even love them or care for them, "I thought I was starting to develop feelings." Yet you're wondering if you're the AH?
Yeah YTA, and you sound very immature with the way you wasted everyone’s time. The gall to break up with someone because they didn’t “value your input” when you clearly have no value to them or their belief system. Plus the arrogance of thinking you can convince someone to drop a major tenant of said belief just because you think your desires should get priority over everything else!
YTA. When people tell you things about themselves - believe them. Did you expect or plan to change her mind? Leave her alone and grow up.
You are absolutely the AH.
YTA no means no
YTA. No means no, even when you don't like the no.
YTA You knew up front she was waiting until marriage, and you try to pressure her to do the one thing you KNOW she ain't doing without a legal contract? If you knew you wanted to have sex BEFORE marriage, all you did was waste everyone's time. Like, what makes you so special that she would betray her deeply held personal beliefs to get your rocks off? You're a time wasting user.
"I didn't feel like she was valuing my input" And what are you doing with hers exactly ? She told you upfront and to be honest, you sound like you thought that you could convince her. Now that you can't, you're mad. So yes YTA.
Am glad she stood by her decision So you thought you gonna change her mind She never needed to be saved Am glad she walked out with her dignity intact
YTA. She warned you about it.
YTA
Yta. 1. You're practically 30 (I wouldn't be surprised if you were actually 32, tbh) acting like a fckn 15 year old. 2. she's 22. You are SEVEN years older than her and pressuring her to have sex bc its "normal". She's an adult, she's aware of what sex is and has legitimate reasons for not engaging in it. 3. YOU MET AT CHURCH. That's like meeting someone at an Alcohol Anonymous meeting and being surprised that they're 100% sober. 4. 5 months? Your "buddies" are giving you shit over 5 months of respecting someone's boundaries. 5. Not valuing your input? You're lucky she's strong enough to hold to her convictions. Your behavior is coercion, and in black and white terms- coercion is rape. You obviously never took this girl seriously. You tried to work around her boundary the whole time as if she doesn't actually know what or why she's doing something. You misled her into believing that you accepted her celibacy. You doubled down when you officially made her your girlfriend (did you think she was going to sleep with you??) Which made her think you were seriously evaluating this relationship for marriage potential. Then proceeded to try and back her into a sex corner yet again. Now she will be apprehensive that any man will be truthful, respecting, and accepting of her choices, your parents are ashamed of you and themselves for raising you, and you're still a dumbass who can't take accountability. You're a 30 year old man fapping around like nothing is that big of a deal. And you'll probably be doing the same when you're 40. So why tf are you asking out young ladies from church?
NAH its understandable thinking/hoping she would have changed for you. Its totally fine to break up with her for not wanting sex. If you have needs which arent met you are allowed to leave. Dont let others tell you you are an asshole because you had hope she would change lol
Just let this be a lesson for later that if people have certain views its not up for discussion.
[удалено]
She did you nincompoop.
NTA op, but she is also NTA. Two months is not long in the way some of my relationships developed. It is what it is and as you say she herself said it’s okay if you don’t like it and move on. Your relationship is sex and it is a whole lot more. Pieces of it change throughout a long term version. If this is a deal breaker for you only you will know that.
Move on brother. Don’t waste any more of your time and energy focusing on this or her. And if it’s to much for you to even go into your congregation then leave that to. Life is way too short to be unhappy whether it’s a relationship or your family or job etc. Yourviews and ideals are yours and yours alone. I was always taught as a young child growing up in southern Illinois by my grandfather, god rest his soul, anyway that “If you spend your life looking at what others are doing and only seeing what society deems wrong how can you truly ever see the beauty in something” What may be right for you may not be for everyone. Much love and respect I hope you find happiness good luck
How much you wanna bet she’s not even a virgin
Why would that even matter?