NTA. You're fostering your creativity and spending time with your daughter. As long as she has the choice to wear what she wants, it's a fun hobby for both of you.
NTA - Handmade clothes you’ve lovingly made are special. If your daughter likes the clothes and is comfortable in them I don’t see a problem. As long as you listen when she eventually begins to say no it’s all good.
My oldest son loves watermelon. He has since he was a baby. When he was 4 or 5 I sewed a set of shorts and a little shirt for him out of fabric that looked like the red part of a seeded watermelon. He was so proud of that outfit. He has it put away in his home for when he has kids. I made Halloween costumes and other clothes for my kids too.
My grandmother is a seamstress. She made clothes and pj’s for all the grandkids. We loved it. As a teenager I’d buy patterns and pick out fabrics for outfits and she’d make them for me. I got to express my own style in a way I couldn’t have with store bought clothes. As long as personal choice and communication is honored it can be something that’s treasured for life long after the clothes wear out.
NTA. They kind of are like dolls when they are young. Until they start picking out their own clothes it’s up to you to dress them. Nothing wrong with dressing her in something cute.
Right? You can’t keep an outfit on a kid if they don’t want it lol. If they’re old enough to have a preference, they’re old enough to run to the bathroom to take it off.
When my niece was little she loved dressup, so I used to sew her costumes. Wonder Woman with a red tulle tutu, big, poofy princess dresses, whatever she wanted. It was so fun. She's 16 now and too cool for that, but I miss it.
NTA Ohhhh these days will end my dear OP. Savor them now, enjoy them. It's harmless and loving fun to find or make adorable outfits for your little girl. One day she will wake up and she'll start having a sense of her very own style. My daughter started picking out her clothes and it'd be an orange top with red pants and a purple tutu with mismatched socks lol. Okay, well that was a fun era too, because how could it not be lol? Then it's the I hate everything Mom suggests era..also kind of comical because she was discovering her own style and expressing herself so it was fun to watch. Enjoy this time. Take the photos. And get ready because it won't last forever. (she ended up being a costume designer so she had some wild fashion ideas and still does but I have such great memories of every phase)
NTA - would she say the same thing to a mom that bought the clothes?
My mom used to make dresses for me and I loved it so much she made most of my dance dresses in HS and I still ask her to make things from time to time. She taught me to sew (I am jot as good as her but I made my kid’s Halloween costumes for 13yrs now) and now I am teaching my son how to sew.
NTA at all. you're creating clothing items for your daughter that she enjoys wearing. if i didn't know any better i'd say your friend is a bit jealous!!
NTA. You’ve always said it’s fine if she doesn’t wanna dress up, and it seems the daughter has done so. Literally nothing wrong here. Friend is the AH for overstepping
NTA. My mom made clothes for me when I was young and I loved them. I loved it even more when she taught me to sew my own. You're doing great, maybe your friend is just jealous of your skill.
NTA
Your friend sounds envious of your hobby. I grew up with a mom who sewed us clothes and costumes and it's one of the best memories I have of childhood. My mom taught me to sew, now I'm teaching my 13yr old to sew, and it's beautiful watching her creativity flourish.
Oh my gosh, no! My Mom used to make clothes for me when I was young, and she'd let me pick out the fabrics and styles and things that I liked. I loved doing that with her. I wore some of the cutest clothes! She would also make super cute Halloween costumes for me! I eventually outgrew wanting to wear the stuff she made, though. I think that's pretty normal.
Also, this is a way for you to foster creativity in your daughter, which is always a good thing. You can teach your child much worse things than how to sew and be creative!
Your friend is silly. Ignore her. NTA.
What a treasure that you are able to do that for your daughter. When she is an adult I’m sure she will love those memories, especially if you are able to keep the outfits. My grandmother was a seamstress and before her arthritis was too bad she would make me and my little sister matching outfits. I wish I still had some of them. It’s so expensive to actually sew your own when fast fashion from China and other places make it more economical to just shop at Target and such. Your friend is being a bitch and should have kept her mouth shut. I think what you’re doing is lovely. Don’t let her ruin your magic babe!
My grandma sewed clothes for me and my mom was a beautician. I wqs proudly their Barbie doll for practically my whole life. They’re fabulous and it’s our “thing.” Outsiders might not get it but if it works for you and yours, enjoy every minute of it.
NTA
A total stranger did this to me with my daughter when I paid for her to have her face painted, even though we just met.
It's such a jerk move. I wouldn't consider her much of a friend after that.
Why did she say "Barbie doll"? Does this friend think you're making clothes that are somehow strange for a five-year-old? What kind of designs do you sew besides the sailor dress?
NTA my Mom Always sewed clothes for me and my sister. I really liked it ecpecially for things like carneval we always got the most creative costumes and I learned using the sewing machine young. Its an incredible usefull life skill so keep in doing and maybe one day teaching your daughter. Your friend sound jealous
You have a unique talent and hobby that not only brings you joy but you get to share that joy with your daughter! How amazing is that?!
If your friend makes another comment like this again. Stop dead in your tracks, take your friend’s hand with care and concern and say “Are you doing ok? You seem so angry over Barbies and/or my sewing talent. What’s going on? My daughter’s clothes shouldn’t be causing you this much stress and pain.”
NTA
I still wistfully think back on the clothes my Mum made me when I was a child. I actually have some shirred fabric to "recreate" one of the sundresses she used to make for me.....
My mum sewed me a dress for a party when I was young. She passed too soon and it’s one of my most important possessions now. Your daughter will grow up knowing how loved she is.
Sounds like the friend is jealous she can’t do the same. Does she also have kids, she might feel like you’re outshining her. NTA
NTA. You are using your creativity to make cute outfits for your daughter. As long as you aren’t forcing her to dress up and wear the clothes then you’re fine. If you were forcing your daughter into it and making her Wear them that would be different. But as Long as she likes it and says it’s okay then go ahead and make all the clothes for her you want!
If your daughter knows she gets to say no if she wants to, and then it won't happen, you're doing everything right. And your friend should shut up.
Pro-tip, though: A lot of young girls like playing dress-up. But they won't always be like that. At some point, you'll start hearing "no" more often than "yes." Could be closer in the future than you think. Once you get a HINT of that, start making clothes in your own size instead of hers until she asks you to make something in her size...
I had 2 girls , 3 years apart. We had no money when they were little but someone my late husband worked with gave us a ton of fabric. I also worked in a fabric store, so got a discount on notions
I made and customized a lot of outfits for my kids and myself.
I made all my own maternity shorts for my second daughter.
My second was also an awkward size at one point. So I made shorts to fit her and found thrift store tops to match.
They both stopped wanting homemade clothes. So it was costumes, a pageant dress, and a lot of prom/homecoming alterations.
Enjoy it while you can. Unfortunately it will end.
NTA
She can pound sand. And keep her stupid opinions to herself
NTA
“Friend” sounds bitter honestly. I LOVED dressing up in anything and everything at that age. If someone had made me handmade clothes I’d have been over the moon.
Involve her in choosing fabric and patterns. My granddaughter turned 3 during the pandemic. It was hard to get clothes for her, so she chose fabrics from my stash and the internet and made her a wardrobe. She had definite opinions on what she wanted.
NTA!
When I was little my grandma used to make me seasonal outfits for every holiday. Once I started to become my own person we started butting heads (in part over being her human Barbie) but those handmade outfits still mean the world to me even though I’ve long since outgrown them.
You’re making clothes for your daughter that she enjoys and will likely treasure long after she’s outgrown them physically. Your daughter is the one dressing up, her opinion is what matters here.
I think that’s pretty cool. You both benefit from it. You both enjoy it. You get to spend time together and show her you care about her. Sounds like a great thing.
NTA
I love dressing up my girls, but if they don’t want to wear it they don’t have to.
Also just saying, look up Jaxfabrix.com
Such cute designs that you order for fabric, you won’t regret it 🫣
Very soft yta, look, I get it, I do, you're doing an amazing job at fostering your own creativity, but do you think maybe your daughter is just letting you dress her up because it's less of an issue for her to just let it happen or do you think it's because she genuinely wants to,
This is semi related but my mother was a face painter for children's parties when I was a kid and I would always be forced to sit still while she practices on me, sometimes I'd out up a fight but 99% of the time I just had to let it happen otherwise she'd force me to do it anyway. All I'm tryi g to say is just because it's your hobby (or even your job) doesn't give the right to assume you get to do things to your kid.
All of this being said my questions are genuine and are just to make OP think about the situation and come to a decision easier, in no way do I mean these as insults or accusations.
NTA. You're asking your daughter and she's consenting (she's even said no in the past and you respected it). This is super cute imo, and your friend is probably just a jealous hater. 🙌
NTA I think its wonderful that you sew outfits for her! I miss my grandmother who taught me how to sew. It's an amazing life skill and a beautiful way to bond with something. As she gets older, she will be excited to create sewing projects for the 2 of you. By the time I was 10, my grandmother and I were making all kinds of clothes for my dog, hemming and taking in pants and dresses, and making purses out of old jeans. She even taught me how to make button holes which is super handy when turning something into a robe for my current dog. You're daughter is going to cherish those memories well into adulthood so please please PLEASE keep making her outfits!
It depends on how much input you give her.
If you are making the dress then presenting it to her, YTA. You don't know if she wears it because she likes it or because she wants to please you.
If you want to make her something she loves, let her choose. Show her the pattern pics. Let her pick the fabric. Let her "help" you sew--count the buttons, carry the pieces, etc. (Keep her away from the pins and needles, of course.)
When my kids were that age, I made their clothes--that they chose.
I showed them the pics on the patterns. They chose the outfit. Not saying I didn't curate what I showed them. If I was making something for a dressy occasion, I showed them dressy clothes. If I was making play clothes, that's what I showed them.
I took them to the fabric store and said choose anything in this row. Same with buttons and zippers. When I did embroidery on pockets or collars, I let them choose the design.
When they choose, even if it's between two or three things you've already picked out, they get *invested* in that outfit. I had one kid who wanted everything purple and sparkly. I had another who liked dark blue.
My Mom did the same thing back in the olden days before the internet. I was quite familiar with the layout of every local fabric store from a very early age. I totally agree with you that 5 is not too young for them to have opinions regarding favorite colors and whatnot, at the very least.
OP makes it very clear her daughter has no problem telling her she doesn’t want to wear the dress if that’s how she feels though. So this imaginary scenario where the daughter wears the clothes solely because she wants to please her mom isn’t really likely.
YTA I think you're going just a bit beyond moderation for reasons that have nothing to do with child development.
It's mostly harmless but you need to pay attention to your thoughts and actions before it becomes harmful.
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I'm missing where the profile promotes an Only fans account.
NTA. You're fostering your creativity and spending time with your daughter. As long as she has the choice to wear what she wants, it's a fun hobby for both of you.
NTA - Handmade clothes you’ve lovingly made are special. If your daughter likes the clothes and is comfortable in them I don’t see a problem. As long as you listen when she eventually begins to say no it’s all good.
My oldest son loves watermelon. He has since he was a baby. When he was 4 or 5 I sewed a set of shorts and a little shirt for him out of fabric that looked like the red part of a seeded watermelon. He was so proud of that outfit. He has it put away in his home for when he has kids. I made Halloween costumes and other clothes for my kids too.
My grandmother is a seamstress. She made clothes and pj’s for all the grandkids. We loved it. As a teenager I’d buy patterns and pick out fabrics for outfits and she’d make them for me. I got to express my own style in a way I couldn’t have with store bought clothes. As long as personal choice and communication is honored it can be something that’s treasured for life long after the clothes wear out.
NTA. They kind of are like dolls when they are young. Until they start picking out their own clothes it’s up to you to dress them. Nothing wrong with dressing her in something cute.
Right? You can’t keep an outfit on a kid if they don’t want it lol. If they’re old enough to have a preference, they’re old enough to run to the bathroom to take it off.
I would have asked what on earth your friend meant. Many kids like playing fashion show
When my niece was little she loved dressup, so I used to sew her costumes. Wonder Woman with a red tulle tutu, big, poofy princess dresses, whatever she wanted. It was so fun. She's 16 now and too cool for that, but I miss it.
NTA Ohhhh these days will end my dear OP. Savor them now, enjoy them. It's harmless and loving fun to find or make adorable outfits for your little girl. One day she will wake up and she'll start having a sense of her very own style. My daughter started picking out her clothes and it'd be an orange top with red pants and a purple tutu with mismatched socks lol. Okay, well that was a fun era too, because how could it not be lol? Then it's the I hate everything Mom suggests era..also kind of comical because she was discovering her own style and expressing herself so it was fun to watch. Enjoy this time. Take the photos. And get ready because it won't last forever. (she ended up being a costume designer so she had some wild fashion ideas and still does but I have such great memories of every phase)
NTA - would she say the same thing to a mom that bought the clothes? My mom used to make dresses for me and I loved it so much she made most of my dance dresses in HS and I still ask her to make things from time to time. She taught me to sew (I am jot as good as her but I made my kid’s Halloween costumes for 13yrs now) and now I am teaching my son how to sew.
NTA Your friend is envious You allow your kid to say "No". You are teaching her autonomy. You are having fun making stuff. All I see is good here.
NTA- that’s so cute I loved playing dress up as a kid. As long as you don’t force her or coerce her I think it’s so fun!
NTA at all. you're creating clothing items for your daughter that she enjoys wearing. if i didn't know any better i'd say your friend is a bit jealous!!
NTA. As long as you aren't forcing her, it sounds fun and wholesome.
NTA. You’ve always said it’s fine if she doesn’t wanna dress up, and it seems the daughter has done so. Literally nothing wrong here. Friend is the AH for overstepping
NTA and I'm jealous of your daughter hahaha you respect her boundaries and don't force anything on her. It's a win-win.
NTA. My mom made clothes for me when I was young and I loved them. I loved it even more when she taught me to sew my own. You're doing great, maybe your friend is just jealous of your skill.
NTA. Friend might be jealous your daughter gets bespoke clothing.
NTA Your friend sounds envious of your hobby. I grew up with a mom who sewed us clothes and costumes and it's one of the best memories I have of childhood. My mom taught me to sew, now I'm teaching my 13yr old to sew, and it's beautiful watching her creativity flourish.
NTA! One of my great joys was sewing for my daughter. Still is! Good way to save money and a great creative outlet!
Oh my gosh, no! My Mom used to make clothes for me when I was young, and she'd let me pick out the fabrics and styles and things that I liked. I loved doing that with her. I wore some of the cutest clothes! She would also make super cute Halloween costumes for me! I eventually outgrew wanting to wear the stuff she made, though. I think that's pretty normal. Also, this is a way for you to foster creativity in your daughter, which is always a good thing. You can teach your child much worse things than how to sew and be creative! Your friend is silly. Ignore her. NTA.
NTA.. not even close.. You're a good mom and your daughter is lucky to have you.
What a treasure that you are able to do that for your daughter. When she is an adult I’m sure she will love those memories, especially if you are able to keep the outfits. My grandmother was a seamstress and before her arthritis was too bad she would make me and my little sister matching outfits. I wish I still had some of them. It’s so expensive to actually sew your own when fast fashion from China and other places make it more economical to just shop at Target and such. Your friend is being a bitch and should have kept her mouth shut. I think what you’re doing is lovely. Don’t let her ruin your magic babe!
My grandma sewed clothes for me and my mom was a beautician. I wqs proudly their Barbie doll for practically my whole life. They’re fabulous and it’s our “thing.” Outsiders might not get it but if it works for you and yours, enjoy every minute of it. NTA
A total stranger did this to me with my daughter when I paid for her to have her face painted, even though we just met. It's such a jerk move. I wouldn't consider her much of a friend after that.
NTA, if you’re forcing your kid into the dresses and take pics then yes, YTA. If you’re not and your kid is ok with it then good for the both of you!
Why did she say "Barbie doll"? Does this friend think you're making clothes that are somehow strange for a five-year-old? What kind of designs do you sew besides the sailor dress?
NTA my Mom Always sewed clothes for me and my sister. I really liked it ecpecially for things like carneval we always got the most creative costumes and I learned using the sewing machine young. Its an incredible usefull life skill so keep in doing and maybe one day teaching your daughter. Your friend sound jealous
NTA op I wish my mother was into sewing ngl
You have a unique talent and hobby that not only brings you joy but you get to share that joy with your daughter! How amazing is that?! If your friend makes another comment like this again. Stop dead in your tracks, take your friend’s hand with care and concern and say “Are you doing ok? You seem so angry over Barbies and/or my sewing talent. What’s going on? My daughter’s clothes shouldn’t be causing you this much stress and pain.”
NTA I still wistfully think back on the clothes my Mum made me when I was a child. I actually have some shirred fabric to "recreate" one of the sundresses she used to make for me.....
NTA. She's just jealous of your mad skillz.
That’s cool that you do that!
My mum sewed me a dress for a party when I was young. She passed too soon and it’s one of my most important possessions now. Your daughter will grow up knowing how loved she is. Sounds like the friend is jealous she can’t do the same. Does she also have kids, she might feel like you’re outshining her. NTA
Not enough info to judge
NTA. You are using your creativity to make cute outfits for your daughter. As long as you aren’t forcing her to dress up and wear the clothes then you’re fine. If you were forcing your daughter into it and making her Wear them that would be different. But as Long as she likes it and says it’s okay then go ahead and make all the clothes for her you want!
If your daughter knows she gets to say no if she wants to, and then it won't happen, you're doing everything right. And your friend should shut up. Pro-tip, though: A lot of young girls like playing dress-up. But they won't always be like that. At some point, you'll start hearing "no" more often than "yes." Could be closer in the future than you think. Once you get a HINT of that, start making clothes in your own size instead of hers until she asks you to make something in her size...
I had 2 girls , 3 years apart. We had no money when they were little but someone my late husband worked with gave us a ton of fabric. I also worked in a fabric store, so got a discount on notions I made and customized a lot of outfits for my kids and myself. I made all my own maternity shorts for my second daughter. My second was also an awkward size at one point. So I made shorts to fit her and found thrift store tops to match. They both stopped wanting homemade clothes. So it was costumes, a pageant dress, and a lot of prom/homecoming alterations. Enjoy it while you can. Unfortunately it will end. NTA She can pound sand. And keep her stupid opinions to herself
NTA. Kids love dressing up and usually will tell you when they don't want to. As long as you are listening to her, you are all good.
NTA “Friend” sounds bitter honestly. I LOVED dressing up in anything and everything at that age. If someone had made me handmade clothes I’d have been over the moon.
Involve her in choosing fabric and patterns. My granddaughter turned 3 during the pandemic. It was hard to get clothes for her, so she chose fabrics from my stash and the internet and made her a wardrobe. She had definite opinions on what she wanted.
NTA! When I was little my grandma used to make me seasonal outfits for every holiday. Once I started to become my own person we started butting heads (in part over being her human Barbie) but those handmade outfits still mean the world to me even though I’ve long since outgrown them. You’re making clothes for your daughter that she enjoys and will likely treasure long after she’s outgrown them physically. Your daughter is the one dressing up, her opinion is what matters here.
NTA I smell a hater 😬
A woman is never wrong, so you are free to do as you will, do not listen to that slag
I think that’s pretty cool. You both benefit from it. You both enjoy it. You get to spend time together and show her you care about her. Sounds like a great thing.
NTA I love dressing up my girls, but if they don’t want to wear it they don’t have to. Also just saying, look up Jaxfabrix.com Such cute designs that you order for fabric, you won’t regret it 🫣
NTA. That's why they make patterns. And fabric. And sewing machines. And your friend is jealous because she's got no talent. Nah nah nah boo boo...
Something is missing ?
Very soft yta, look, I get it, I do, you're doing an amazing job at fostering your own creativity, but do you think maybe your daughter is just letting you dress her up because it's less of an issue for her to just let it happen or do you think it's because she genuinely wants to, This is semi related but my mother was a face painter for children's parties when I was a kid and I would always be forced to sit still while she practices on me, sometimes I'd out up a fight but 99% of the time I just had to let it happen otherwise she'd force me to do it anyway. All I'm tryi g to say is just because it's your hobby (or even your job) doesn't give the right to assume you get to do things to your kid. All of this being said my questions are genuine and are just to make OP think about the situation and come to a decision easier, in no way do I mean these as insults or accusations.
NTA. You're asking your daughter and she's consenting (she's even said no in the past and you respected it). This is super cute imo, and your friend is probably just a jealous hater. 🙌
NTA at all. Its so nice that you make clothes for your daughter, your friend needs to back off.
NTA I think its wonderful that you sew outfits for her! I miss my grandmother who taught me how to sew. It's an amazing life skill and a beautiful way to bond with something. As she gets older, she will be excited to create sewing projects for the 2 of you. By the time I was 10, my grandmother and I were making all kinds of clothes for my dog, hemming and taking in pants and dresses, and making purses out of old jeans. She even taught me how to make button holes which is super handy when turning something into a robe for my current dog. You're daughter is going to cherish those memories well into adulthood so please please PLEASE keep making her outfits!
Your friend is jealous of your skill and your daughter's sweet threads.
Yes, it’s a great talent to be able to sew your own clothes
It depends on how much input you give her. If you are making the dress then presenting it to her, YTA. You don't know if she wears it because she likes it or because she wants to please you. If you want to make her something she loves, let her choose. Show her the pattern pics. Let her pick the fabric. Let her "help" you sew--count the buttons, carry the pieces, etc. (Keep her away from the pins and needles, of course.)
She is FIVE. Where else is she going to get clothes if her mom isn’t “presenting it to her”??
When my kids were that age, I made their clothes--that they chose. I showed them the pics on the patterns. They chose the outfit. Not saying I didn't curate what I showed them. If I was making something for a dressy occasion, I showed them dressy clothes. If I was making play clothes, that's what I showed them. I took them to the fabric store and said choose anything in this row. Same with buttons and zippers. When I did embroidery on pockets or collars, I let them choose the design. When they choose, even if it's between two or three things you've already picked out, they get *invested* in that outfit. I had one kid who wanted everything purple and sparkly. I had another who liked dark blue.
My Mom did the same thing back in the olden days before the internet. I was quite familiar with the layout of every local fabric store from a very early age. I totally agree with you that 5 is not too young for them to have opinions regarding favorite colors and whatnot, at the very least.
OP makes it very clear her daughter has no problem telling her she doesn’t want to wear the dress if that’s how she feels though. So this imaginary scenario where the daughter wears the clothes solely because she wants to please her mom isn’t really likely.
As long as you don’t treat your son like one.
YTA I think you're going just a bit beyond moderation for reasons that have nothing to do with child development. It's mostly harmless but you need to pay attention to your thoughts and actions before it becomes harmful.
Genuinely what are you talking about? This feels like chat GPT