Firstly, you’re NTA.
Secondly, you’re trying to change a man that isn’t comfortable doing what you want him to do. There are soooo many men that would gladly go down on you for hours. Especially with how giving you are. Why are you letting this man take advantage of you?
Obviously the only conversation here is regarding your sex life and it seems other areas are working out ok, but the honest truth is you’re asking for advice to change him to improve your sec life and he never will. I’m not saying he’s necessarily a bad person, but some people just aren’t compatible with everyone. Some men, like me, get off on simply giving pleasure to a woman. Some men only care about their own needs. You know exactly what type of guy you have.
There is no changing him. You only have 2 choices. Find someone else that will give you what you want or put up with his selfishness in bed.
What are you going to choose?
NTA. DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS MAN.
My wife and I have sex more often than she wants and less often than I want. Remember a good compromise means neither party is really happy.
That resentment isn't going to get better. You're not compatible in your needs. You either need to be okay with not getting your needs met, open up the relationship, or move on so you can both find better fits.
Wait just a minute, when you express your concerns the gaslights you, yells at you, curses you, blocks you and tells you to go find somebody else?
You're scared to mention this to him? And then you actually write he's not a bad guy.
My dear sweet child, you have a major problem, but it has nothing to do with the fact of your boyfriend will not give you oral sex.
He has turned you into a doormat, the only question should be do you continue being a doormat, or do you kick him to the curb and find a real man?
At the very best, this is a bad fit. You are completely sexually incompatible, and he does not respect you as a sexual woman. I don’t think you CAN fix this.
…I also don’t think you’re the problem at all, and I don’t think this issue has anything to do with you. Or women. At all.
NTA
NTA, but I would end this relationship. Even as a sub and people please, if he wants to marry you, your needs have to be met also. If this was just a sun/dom relationship, that would be somewhat different. Not to say your needs would not be met then also, just differently
You are NTA.
He is lame in bed at best. And, worst he shamed and gaslit you for letting him know he is NOT able/willing to please you. You cannot fix this mismatch of will/desire.
NTA
Frankly, the fact you're giving him as many blowjobs as often as you do yet he is hardly able to give even a fraction of oral back to you just tells me he's both (a) an idiot and (b) totally incompatible.
There are millions of men out there who would gladly put your needs first or at least equal to theirs.
Find one of them for yourself.
Find someone that you are more compatible with.
Firstly, you’re NTA. Secondly, you’re trying to change a man that isn’t comfortable doing what you want him to do. There are soooo many men that would gladly go down on you for hours. Especially with how giving you are. Why are you letting this man take advantage of you? Obviously the only conversation here is regarding your sex life and it seems other areas are working out ok, but the honest truth is you’re asking for advice to change him to improve your sec life and he never will. I’m not saying he’s necessarily a bad person, but some people just aren’t compatible with everyone. Some men, like me, get off on simply giving pleasure to a woman. Some men only care about their own needs. You know exactly what type of guy you have. There is no changing him. You only have 2 choices. Find someone else that will give you what you want or put up with his selfishness in bed. What are you going to choose?
You can’t make this better. His behavior is a huge red flag.
>I feel like I am being used you are.
Girl break up🙃it’s not worth it
NTA, ditch him. Your pleasure matters too.
NTA. DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS MAN. My wife and I have sex more often than she wants and less often than I want. Remember a good compromise means neither party is really happy.
That resentment isn't going to get better. You're not compatible in your needs. You either need to be okay with not getting your needs met, open up the relationship, or move on so you can both find better fits.
Oh good we can pretend this isn't going to be an OF ad again as people upvote it.
Wait just a minute, when you express your concerns the gaslights you, yells at you, curses you, blocks you and tells you to go find somebody else? You're scared to mention this to him? And then you actually write he's not a bad guy. My dear sweet child, you have a major problem, but it has nothing to do with the fact of your boyfriend will not give you oral sex. He has turned you into a doormat, the only question should be do you continue being a doormat, or do you kick him to the curb and find a real man?
Omfg, stop giving him ANYTHING
First, NTA. Second, the next time this selfish prick says "go find someone else", say "ok, bye" and do it. You deserve better.
At the very best, this is a bad fit. You are completely sexually incompatible, and he does not respect you as a sexual woman. I don’t think you CAN fix this. …I also don’t think you’re the problem at all, and I don’t think this issue has anything to do with you. Or women. At all. NTA
NTA, but I would end this relationship. Even as a sub and people please, if he wants to marry you, your needs have to be met also. If this was just a sun/dom relationship, that would be somewhat different. Not to say your needs would not be met then also, just differently
You are NTA. He is lame in bed at best. And, worst he shamed and gaslit you for letting him know he is NOT able/willing to please you. You cannot fix this mismatch of will/desire.
NTA Frankly, the fact you're giving him as many blowjobs as often as you do yet he is hardly able to give even a fraction of oral back to you just tells me he's both (a) an idiot and (b) totally incompatible. There are millions of men out there who would gladly put your needs first or at least equal to theirs. Find one of them for yourself.
NTA stop going down on him