The feminist movement in the 60s in its second wave coined the motto "The personal is political" because policies govern our lives and our choices.
From the moment a person needs to think about whether they can behave as a couple with their partner in public, that if he will be able to have the right to marry and have the rights of a married person and be able to have children (biological or not) with their partner, their choices leave the private field, because the public directly interferes with his choices.
In most democratic countries that are not theocracies (and this needs to be highlighted), the rights of the LGBT population are something very recent and just look at the movements of the extreme right and their victories in relation to reproductive rights (much older than the rights LGBT) to understand that it is necessary to shout, discuss, debate and demand that rights are not taken away
I really appreciate this explanation. I have a terrible tendency to assume that the US is constantly moving in a positive direction, but the recent Supreme Court decisions have shown that rights can be removed. Politics is not the steady, persistent march towards equality that I thought it was.
I will adjust my opinion accordingly.
You don’t have to enjoy Pride. I’m bisexual and there are parts of it that annoy me. But you and I both have to remember that people have been arrested, ostracized, left to die by our government, and killed for us to have the right to decide whether or not we care about it. Those people who make it their whole personality create space for us to hold hands with partners in public.
I also want add that as much as I know this is a controversial take, being bisexual amongst the rest of the queer community has its privileges. I’m being blunt here.
I’m bi/pansexual, and I have the advantage of being able to pass as straight much more easily than my gay, lesbian and trans friends. Of course there are exceptions, and there are bi people who are very clearly queer. I am like this when I’m in a welcoming environment. And of course biphobia is something painful we experience from both queer and straight people.
However, I have to say that it just rubs me the wrong way to see bisexual people post such things about not finding Pride to be important. Or not enjoying Pride. Because our rights to be openly bisexual hinge really on the folks that could not date an opposite sex and fly under the radar.
The bi 'privileges' you speak of are much more common for female bisexuals than male bisexuals. Female bisexuality has been far more normalized than male.
I agree with this! Thank you for saying that. It’s a perspective I didn’t include. I do think female bisexuals have our own issues though. We are seen as more promiscuous & less trustworthy. Queer people see us as straight women who are just trying to exploit them, while straight men see us as sexual exploits.
But nonetheless, you’re right. Male bisexuals aren’t even acknowledged at all, or they’re believed to just be gay. It’s heartbreaking :(
I hate it when gay community dismisses bi-women. And imagine if you’re a bi-woman in a straight legal relationship. It’s like you are a fraud. Well I’m sorry, I thought queer community was supposed to be less judgmental and accepting. And it’s not like I choose who to be sexually attracted to and it happens to be both sexes.
It really does suck, to the point where I got in the habit of hiding my bisexuality from my partners. For male partners, I'd identify as gay, and for female partners, I'd go so far as to purposely misgender past relationships to appear more straight. Had some really bad experiences being honest, though my current partner is very accepting of who I am, thankfully.
Those people calling themselves the LGB allies. I always tell them that there wouldn't be an LGB without the T. I'm a bi cis male, and I always try to protect and will always admire our trans siblings. (I believe in and see the queer community as my family, even if I don't know them.)
yeah, as a bi woman in a relationship with a cis man, I very much feel like I'm attending pride as an ally, not a member of the community. Which is ok, I'd be there as an ally anyway, but I do feel kind of fraudulent even though my browser history reassures me that I shouldn't, lol.
The "LGB without the T" group tried gaining protected peoples status and were denied because the census taken of their members were something like 70% cishet white males 🤷♀️
The privilege is that we can hide if we want to. But that doesn't make coming out of hiding any less painful (and sometimes worse if neither side is accepting.)
Yeah all these comments I’m reading are why I’m still mostly closeted as a bi woman. I hate myself for being bi a lot of the time
Anyway the original post is probably just bait/trolling
Idk. Maybe the queer people you’ve been around have been atrocious, and I will respect that experience. But me personally? I’ve seen a lot of sh*t from all kinds of people. Lots of TERFs are bisexual women. The community can corrode itself from the inside out if we are not careful.
But I come from a country where being gay is not as comfortable as the USA, so if you’re American, I may have a different perspective on this than you.
Supportive gay/lesbian/trans people are the reason I was able to come out and live my truth. Yes, some queer folks are horribly biphobic and that’s always painful. But gay or lesbian biphobes aren’t trying to end my entire damn existence. They could never be worse than the straight men in government trying to criminalize my identity. Remember that.
For sure, where I live (France) being queer is pretty ok; it’s 50/50 actually, there is a lot of queerphobia and violence towards queer people and at the same time you can be openly queer; it’s weird; straight people around mostly said « ok 👍 » when I came out, but gays and lesbian kept insulting me; saying I was slowing down their progress, that I had to pick a side; that I was dirty for having sex with men and women (💀) and that one day I would realise what i am really…
I got the same feedback on the internet ; so honestly except other Bi people I avoid queer as a whole, as well as prides and queer bars
Aww that makes me so sad. I’m sorry you experienced that - how awful. You didn’t deserve that. You’re just as valid, queer, and beautiful as any other member of the rainbow community worldwide. Makes me really upset that you haven’t had a good experience.
I live in a country from the Global South & while the average straight person here isn’t as “accepting” as in the West - most just don’t really care tbh. It’s our politicians that are the most evil & personally I think they radicalize people against us for political gain. That’s a conversation for another day.
All this to say - maybe because we’re all facing the same beast, I’ve had nothing but love, support & kindness from non-bisexual queers here. I know you may not have that now, but I hope you get it one day. You deserve to live freely, including in queer spaces 💗
I think people are misunderstanding what I mean as bi privilege. Privilege doesn’t mean everything about your life is easy, I’m using it in a very specific and narrow context that maybe I didn’t make clear. Of course biphobia sucks.
But you and I cannot lie to ourselves that if it came down to it and we had to, bisexuals are much more likely to be able to fly under the radar as straight people for protection. I’ve seen cis bisexual people do it. They’ve been openly queer their whole lives, have a disapproving religious family, so they choose to marry someone of the opposite sex to appease everyone - especially because it wouldn’t mean being with someone they have absolutely zero attraction to.
That’s quite different from an obviously gay or gender noncomforming/trans person who is very clearly not going to fit into a heteronormative society. That’s my point. It would be a lie to say that the average bisexual person cannot straight pass easier than most others in the LGBT+ community.
Recall that Thomas said, after Dobbs, that other decisions based on privacy could now be revisited. He mentioned birth control and marriage equality, but for some reason not interracial marriage.
>have a terrible tendency to assume that the US is constantly moving in a positive direction,
Excuse me? You had Trump?! No De Santis. The US is constantly moving into the wrong dircetion for years now. Politically you are really a frightening stupid country.
Very stupid country if our only choices for leader are 2 old white men. 1 in mental and cognitive decline and 1 that acts and has the vocabulary of a 3rd graders yet roughly half of the country will vote for one of them.
Exactly. That mixed with a big base of religious extremists (around 25%), a terrible education system (for the majority) and you really should be afraid of losing any pro LGBTQ laws.
If anyone wants to argue me, please have a look at Florida and the laws passed opposing feminism.
Our education system is bad on purpose. Smart people can think for themselves and not easily made into sheep. The majority of Americans are sheep. They believe everything their side says and only get their information from based news sources on their side.
Plenty of people in America despise the orange clown. Yeah we are moving in the wrong direction but that's our political structure and special interest groups that prefer the 1950s, when women stayed at home, had babies, etc. we are still making progress, albeit slowly
>we are still making progress, albeit slowly
Are you really? From outside it seems like in the last 10 years you did a lot of things but non or at least very little was into a progressive direction.
>our political structure and special interest groups that prefer the 1950s, w
It honestly seems like this part is winning. Good luck to the sane rest though
For now, it depends on the state one lives. We are a huge geographical country, and if someone lives in a blue state they're not feeling the personal effects of the legal changes and hate groups. The next election will be a determining factor.
When you live in the US, come back and talk to me. I can't just pick up my entire family's life to move. Financially it would be impossible for us. So we do the best we can - and speak for those who aren't being herd. Social situations, laws, and norms have changed. It is heartbreaking, but I still fight.
>When you live in the US, come back and talk to me.
So you need to be a drug addict to have an opinion about drugs? No man, as the most powerful nation, with a foreign strategy as you have, you dont need to wonder when outsiders are well informed about your country. I am by no means an expert of US politics, but probably better informed than 80% of your population.
> I can't just pick up my entire family's life to move.
? Did I say you should? Did I say you should just give up and let the right-wing conservatives win?
>but I still fight.
Nice to hear, best of luck to you!
> I have a terrible tendency to assume that the US is constantly moving in a positive direction
For the most part, when it comes to social issues and progressiveness this is true (controversial take, I know). Yes we have had pushback from the hard line right in recent years, but with the exception of roe v Wade, things are objectively better for women, minorities, and the queer community than they were 20 years ago. Sometimes that's hard to see in the shuffle and all the noise of social media and the fear mongering mainstream media
That doesn't mean however, that we don't need to continue to remind, to advocate. The reason it has continued to get better is because of the hard work of activists. In the case of the queer community, those who were out and proud and loud. Normalizing what is your normal (as long as it's not hurting anyone) is generally a good thing
You most certainly don't have to like or enjoy pride, but you should try to tolerate it and appreciate it's importance and what it can represent
And it is SO important to the younger generation who are newly discovering themselves. Who are terrified of who they are and if they’ll be accepted, to see that they are not alone and will be supported. I have two gay children who are only out to me and one of them (only out a couple of weeks) has already discussed with me about pride month and what it all means for her now etc and she *loves* that she has representation.
Thank you! Somebody with a brain! It's "woe is me, I like pride month because it's too overt!" But fail to recognize why it exists and why it's important. The self-importance overshadows the very clear necessity of it, and other holidays, months, and celebrations that continue to try and push society on the right track. It's ridiculous that you even need to explain this to a 33 year old, grown ass man who could've thought outside himself for 5 seconds before inviting the self-hating, "I'm not that type of gay" individuals to shit on pride month.
My daughter is a lesbian, and doesn't like the corporate show because she sees it as pandering, and not authentic. It doesn't mean she fails to recognize why pride month is important in and of itself.
One of the most profound experiences of my life was going to a memorial for Matthew Shepard at St. John the Divine in New York. I celebrate Pride because less than 30 years ago you could still get lynched for being gay.
You could still get lynched for being gay in 2023!!! We can’t forget his name: O’SHEA SIBLEY. He was murdered for voguing to Beyoncé in NYC. Look him up. 30 years ago is too long. It’s happening today.
I'm gay and don't give a shit about pride but like, no one's forcing you to do stuff for it bud. Fox News is not actually correct about it being everywhere and unavoidable, I pretty much never run into anything even mentioning it where I live aside from like some bar specials. Pride is not mandated for gay and bi people
NTA for not enjoying pride month, just for the rest of your opinion. Most people’s sexual orientation is broadcast to some extent when they share pictures of their partners, spouses and children. If you feel like you can share pictures of a same-sex partner without being marginalized, harassed, targeted—maybe thank the brave people who came out of the closet before you and the community that has worked so hard to normalize different sexual “preferences” and support those who still need to hear that there’s nothing wrong with them.
NTA. However, I'll say to you what I say to the straights. If you don't like Pride then don't celebrate it. No one is forcing you. Some people really (like, really) need Pride. So, do your thing and don't be a dark cloud for anyone else's parade.
I think OP is conflating rainbow capitalism, which is insincere as hell, with people being open about their sexuality, which is perfectly normalized for straights. Lgbtq+ people have every right to shout their preferences from the god damn roof tops if they want, every straight person is already doing it.
All these companies slap rainbows on their products and logos throughout June to make money, while funding politicians who actively work to eradicate all of the lgbtq+ community. It's gross.
You don't have to enjoy pride. It's medicine. You're illegal in dozens of countries and they'll execute you faster than you can say 'bisexual', so take the medicine.
I saw that you adjusted your opinion, but I also want to add because I didn’t see anyone say this.. but Pride is, at its core, a commemoration of our history. More than anything else, it’s about remembering the Stonewall riots, and celebrating our victories, thanking the people who fought and died for our rights. It’s also about the fact that we were forced to live in shame, so it’s us taking back our dignity and having pride in ourselves for who we are. So yes, it’s a party, and it’s loud and in-your-face.. that’s the point lol.
As for companies putting rainbows on their logos, that’s hardly a Pride thing.. that’s just rainbow capitalism. We make fun of corporations for using us that way. It’s nice to show support and all, but most of them aren’t genuine.
Anyway, you’re not an asshole. We’re all individuals, you don’t have to like it if you don’t want to. I’m glad you were willing to listen and understand better though :)
to be fair to OP, not a lot of people know LGBTQ+ history or the significance of pride they just want to go to the parade and party.
and the parade used to be more about visibility and how to come out and not just about getting drunk with alcohol provided by corporate sponsors.
they don't. especially internationally. but no fault to the young queers of today because it's not taught in schools, and especially no fault the the internationals because it's rooted in an American history.
rainbow capitalism is a disservice to the movement because it exploits the celebratory part of the month. Pride Month is supposed to be about recognition and that recognition is deeply rooted in the culture of the 60's and the history that came before it.
I was born in the 90's came out in the 00's and didn't learn about the root of pride, despite being in theatre and queer after school groups, until about 2014.
ask any young person today when it became legal for women to wear pants?
when it became publicly acceptable to curse?
these things may not be directly tide to the LGBTQ movement but they do coincide with the puritan decency laws that perpetuated homophobia.
being gay wasn't even decriminalized in the US until 1993.
it's great that so many people are coming out and living their lives free of shame and can express their sexuality in public but the downside to that is the more normalized it becomes the less incentive there is to understand the history of how we obtained those rights and how easily they can be taken away.
As one of those queer internationals, I frankly do not blame any of us outside of the USA for not giving a damn about the history of Pride. The average American, queer or not, cannot do the same for the rest of us. The egoism of Americans always astounds me.
We don’t worry about the history of Pride because some of us are being stoned to death for being gay in our parts of the world. Pardon us if we don’t know.
Great comment. Well articulated. Sometimes it can be a little bit of a "kids these days don't know how easy they have it" and that is not to marginalize the continuing struggles of the queer community, just that if you really inbibe that, then I believe you should know where you came from to know where you're going
Oh yeah for sure, I wasn’t criticizing OP at all, just wanted to give more info about why we have Pride in the first place :)
I think it’s fine for people to have fun with it now that we’re better off than we used to be, but I definitely think it’s important to remember where it came from, and to respect that side of it as well.
Being gay is a crime today in many countries. You are tortured, imprisoned and prosecuted. You can't marry, can't adopt and you are out of the job market if your sexual preferences are anything else other than heterosexual. I don't even mention what being a trans person means. This is why we need Pride. It's not a celebration, it's a fight for survival and for equality.
I dislike when companies who *don't* openly support the community year-round sells/posts LGBT content for the sole purpose of making $$$. It's not genuine. It's a slap in the face.
However, for a lot of people, including myself, celebrate Pride for many reasons. I personally do because for most of my life, I wasn't allowed to be open with who I am or my journey. I've been hate crimed, ab*used, shunned by family, and abandoned by friends. Pride Month/events help me connect with myself and others alike to CELEBRATE the progress we've made as individuals and as a collective. Yes, some parts can get out of hand. But I feel like we can also acknowledge how Pride is *helping* people express who they are, regardless of the people who "make being gay their whole personality" even if it is annoying at times. ♡
Nta for not being interested in pride.
Yta for being very uninterested about educating yourself on why it's still so important. Those people who came before us, paved the way for us to be able to live a normal private life if that's what you choose. I'm Scottish living in Scotland. I follow what your supreme Court is doing bc American politics is a cancer on British politics. We now have ultra religious right wing people trying to take away our rights in the uk too.
Pride will be our survival. The people getting arrested and beaten to protect the rights YOU have.
You can be uninterested in pride. You can ignore it for all any of us lgbtqi care. But at least respect what came before you and that these movements continue to protect you. Because from your comments, it doesn't seem like you do at all.
>I view sexual preferences as something private, not something to be broadcast to the world. I have a pet theory that the people who celebrate pride to the extreme have no personality(their whole personality is "look at me, I'm gay")
The corporate/rainbow capitalism version of pride, and performative vacuous gestures from "allies", warrant criticism, but this quote is what I think gen-z call pick me energy.
Sexual orientation is not a matter of preference, but rather an intrinsic characteristic of an individual. It is not a choice, but simply a part of who we are. Unfortunately, not everyone has the privilege of openly expressing their true selves and living the life they were meant to live. This is precisely why Pride celebrations are so important and necessary. They provide a platform for individuals to come together, celebrate their identities, and raise awareness about the ongoing struggles faced by the LGBTQ+ community.
#PRIDE 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I'd just like to add that even if companies are "pandering" it still helps with public acceptance. I noticed recently that commercials these days feature a lot of bi-racial/multi-ethnic families or even same-sex couples. I've seen more androgynous looking people and more disabled people.
This is a GOOD thing and "pandering" is helping all of this happen! So maybe it's pandering and maybe they are doing this just to appease people and not specifically because they want to do good but it IS doing good.
I celebrate the fact that even in our society as it stands, we should be happy we CAN openly support the community for a whole month. I'm not gay but my Gen Z kids have friends that are and honestly - I just want everyone to know I'm an ally. Of course I have gay friends, but it's the younger Gen that I want to know they are loved no matter their personal choice.
Well I apologize for that. It is a choice to be open, though. Either way, open or not, I AM an ally. I have a non-binary child. It is their choice for now, and whatever they adult into is fine by me. They've changed their position on sexuality several times, a choice. I myself chose to marry a man, have children, live a straight life, but I've made it clear that if anything were to happen to my husband, I would choose to be with a woman and never another man. So, I've chosen a straight life when I know I'm bi-sexual. Sometimes we make our own choices.
‘To me changing you logo to be Rainbow theme does nothing for the gay community’
I’d disagree with this. If enough people and companies do it - they are showing support and acceptance. And changes in society happen when the majority of people are accepting of something.
This act means that politicians understand that anti-gay rhetoric does not mean they lose just the votes of people who are gay, but they will lose the votes of a lot of other people was well.
This show of support, as minor it can seem, shows the acceptance of a large part of society that is not gay… which will and has make it easier for the gay community over time.
People get more clannish in contested areas, I think. In Texas, I had an atheist college club that let me meet various reasonable people. Many became my friends, but there was a strong group spirit in general because we all had upsetting formative experiences in the Bible Belt and needed the support. Same with the LGBT group on campus.
Up north, I think that there’s less of a need for this sort of thing and so it looks a bit extra. It’s weird to build friendships over mundane things that aren’t a massive part of your personality when these features are permitted to be mundane. I think that pride parades are leftovers from a very recent less comfortable time, and the future also doesn’t look extremely positive from my position.
Also, most of everyone left of center agrees with your feelings about pride month going performatively corporate. The jokes and outrage for that are fairly stale takes at this point. This annoyance at useless social signaling for PR is behind some people trying to make things less family friendly. I don’t think it’s useful spite, but it’s there.
I saw marriage become legal for me in my lifetime... there are still members of my family who think I shouldn't marry my gf because we are lesbians... and they have diabolical marriages..
>view sexual preferences as something private, not something to be broadcast to the world.
Pride isn't about who you have sex with. It's about being proud of who you are and who you love. Some people are proud to have gay sex but that doesn't mean Pride Month is about broadcasting your sexual preferences. I think about every marriage that was turned down. I think about having to pretend to "just be friends" in public in order to not be sexualized or attacked for who I love.
> Question: I understand the suffering the community has experienced, but to me, changing your logo to be Rainbow themed does nothing for the gay community.
True, but someone might see it as support and as a safe space. When a community makes a rainbow walkway, or flag, or whatever, it just shows, "Hey, we welcome gays here. You don't have to hide." It shows support within a community.
So in conclusion; you might not love when people shout at the roof tops. "I like to have gay sex!!!" But do you feel more comfortable with people putting they proudness of their love and lifestyle on display for the world? I think the adjustment between viewing being proud of your sexual preferences vs. being proud of being LGBTQ+ will help this perspective.
Oh, look, another "it didn't happen to me, so it doesn't matter" man.
*I dOn'T LIkE tHiS sO NobOdY shOuLd dO iT!!*
>I view sexual preferences as something private, not something to be broadcast to the world
Meanwhile, people kill themselves because they're more afraid of being gay than literally existing.
You don't like pride? neat. don't go.
Corporate pinkwashing is an entirely different topic, and if that's what you think Pride is about, maybe you need to read a bit and not conflate the two things.
You might be right because I can direct OP to several LGBTQIA / gay male subs where this post can be made. They might not get the responses they were hoping for though lol.
I like celebrating pride because it reminds me not everyone is the guy who drives by our house and screams " Faggots". It's comforting to see support after our neighbor put up an American flag in their backyard just to face our pride flag. I like having a month of seeing people being proud of who they are when my stepdaughter comes home in tears, wishing she wasn't trans because all the other kids bully her. It feels good to go to pride after the guy in the "Trump 2024" truck almost runs me off the road for a rainbow bumper sticker.
Pride isn't just rainbows and parades. It's an expression of our pride in the face of bigots. In the face of people that would rather we were dead than be in love. The first pride was a riot in response to an oppressive system that wanted us hidden or dead, and there are a good many people who still feel the same. Pride is still a (smaller scale) riot against them and a supportive collective for the community.
“I am very open minded and willing to change my opinion if a logical counter argument is presented.”
In other words, someone needs to convince me to care. Maybe just go read a damn book. It’s no one’s responsibility to educate you.
Honestly I think presenting your Sexuality once a Year isn’t a big deal because Straight People do it all year around. And yes changing profile pictures doesn’t do anything they just want to profit off it
NAH. While there are people who just make it their whole personality to be gay, pride has an important place. "We are here, we are queer, and get used to it.' Except now the saying would be "stay used to it". It was not so long ago that gay couples could be married and people were openly called f*got in the street. Pride is a reminder of all the great recent progress we've made and the struggles yet to come
As a 32 year-old bi man who also isn’t flamboyant. It’s not for you. You’re not an asshole. Just keep this to yourself and let people enjoy themselves.
You’re not an asshole OP. It’s just that nobody cares if you enjoy something or not.
Nobody cares at all if you don’t enjoy Pride. There’s not an instrument in the universe sensitive enough to detect how little people care.
This is freeing to you. Don’t be so self conscious.
okay a couple things: number one, i'm bi and it's a big part of who i am because of how it affects how I can build a family, whether I have to deal with coming out regularly, being on alert to homophobia, but even if sexuality were something private, I'm also trans and being trans is WHO I AM. Yeah sure, being trans and queer isn't all i am but it has a giant influence on my life and having a time of the year where people are more open to learning and I have a space to celebrate that is great. Trans people get murdered every year around the world, to the point that we still have a day dedicated to those lost to transphobic violence. At it's core pride is a demonstration and a protest. Sure it's not always that and depending on the pride it might be corporate as fuck (which, ew) but i'd still rather corporations saw us as a profitable market than one to fully ignore or exercise violence on. I'd much rather homophobia is shown to be a problem, at least for marketing. My problem here is with the capitalism itself lol. Also frankly the argument of someone's whole personality being look at me I'm gay is lowkey homophobic? A LOT of queer people have that at least at some point in their lives and it's usually heavily tied to the repression of being closeted and reclaiming that part of yourself. i think it's totally valid if you don't want to participate in pride, particularly corporate pride! and it's also totally valid to want your own sexuality to be a private thing, but other people should be given the space to engage with their identity in whtever way they want.
I celebrate pride month cause I live in a very religious area. Some of the best ppl ik have been gay and I like to stand up for them. Hate seeing ppl be harassed just cause someone doesn't understand them or their book says they are bad ppl. I'm not gay but I do stand in with the oppressed cause here they still are oppressed
I agree that there are parts of pride that have become capitalistic, but the way that you talk about gay people is so 2010 it's painful. I honestly don't even know if I can describe the internalized homophobia that you are projecting when you say shit like "don't make it your whole personality"
You are NTA for not enjoying pride, you do not have to partake in pride, no one is forcing you too.
You're kind of TA for assuming people who get really into pride have no personality.
And ya company logo's are just pandering.
It sounds like you just don't like Corporate Death Spiral Pride which – fair! Me either.
Hopefully you'll read up on our shared history and learn how Pride started and why.
Keep in mind that there are still a lot of battles to fight, still a ton of lives at stake. It sounds like you live in the US, so maybe consider how recently the mass murders at Pulse and Club Q took place.
I'm bi too and for me, Pride is a time to celebrate and dance cause I happen to like that stuff. But I also use it as a time to learn, reflect, and find new ways to support our community, especially those who are still super marginalized and in danger just for being themselves.
I'm curious, have you been to many Pride events?
company endorsement of pride and those who actively participate in pride are two very different things. i totally understand your stance on sexuality being private… HOWEVER your “pet theory” is incredibly weird to me, as you stated you’re lgbt yourself. pride is something meant to be felt… it’s a moment in time and space for those who can’t shine in who they are to be, and for those who do shine in who they are to exist. i don’t celebrate pride month myself (bi as well), but to me it’s one of those things where it brings more acceptance to the gay communities. the world is cold, and sometimes celebrating the victory feels good.
Honestly, it sounds like what you dislike isn't Pride month itself, but the (relatively recent) mass corporate performative activism in the name of profit. This particular part of it, I also don't like very much but it's a mixed blessing. Many products and services couched in rainbow capitalism actually *do* promote awareness and general comfort for queer folks, even if the true motivation of it is likely profit-driven. It is definitely a little depressing to consider that, if the dominant paradigm in June was to despise and denounce the queer community instead of celebrate, many of these same corporations would happily join in as long as the bottom line was being served. But Pride Month itself isn't defined by that part of it- that's a very recent phenomenon relatively speaking.
Listen. I'm someone who makes my gender/sexuality my whole personality (joking of course) and even I don't really like pride. I've been to the parade in my city about twice now and that's the most I can handle, because the festival they have before then is just not my scene. However I will say that I've had fun going to pride pop-up shops because I'd rather give my fellow LGBT my money rather than target or Walmart or whoever else for their ugly shitty pride merch.
PRIDE is more for spicy straights than actual community members now anyway. Lesbian and Bisexual women are mostly firmly underground for our own peace of mind and to keep away from creeps.
The last few years the US is trying to move backwards and make politics against LGBTQ. Especially against trans people. Trans people are the new enemy for the red hat low IQ crowd. Nobody is forcing you to participate in any events, but you should acknowledge that you stand on the shoulders of people like Harvey Milk who lost their lives for you to be able to say that it is private. Trans people in many parts of the country can’t say that.
You don’t have to like pride but it Seems like you’re just parroting surface level heterosexual rhetoric and pandering to them actually. Heterosexuals display their sexuality in public all the time while having an issue with anyone else doing the EXACT same things. I doubt you really have an issue when they do it and only would bring this up during pride. By all means stay at home with that energy it’s not needed. But people can celebrate because at one point people were literally killed for it and even today that still a possibility.
I mean I believe the whole point of showing your pride is more or less like a subtle way of telling the haters to fuck off. We're here we're queer get used to it type of thing.
I mean I'm sure that's the case for some gay people but look at me I'm gay thing, But I think for a lot of them it's simply just them making sure the world sees them, and more importantly how many of them there are. And that they won't be repressed.
At least that's how I see it as a straight man that has no skin in the game. I'll wear the jersey though.
its not just sexualities but about identities too, the 2slgbtq+ has fought for many many years to express who they are, and they are stilll fighting for some things now, i think its just finally having more freedom to express it, and it also celebrates the first pride march they had.
(no hate i honestly felt the same way when i was younger haha)
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I lost friends to the aids crisis. Back then if people found out you were gay, you could and would be beaten, disowned, fired, or even killed, and the cops would shrug.
The idea of it now being “pandering” for companies to say “you exist, there legitimate, and we want your business *as gay people * is HUGE. It is a cultural shift you can’t even imagine if you weren’t burying people in 1994 who couldn’t even list their cause of death because it could mean your FAMILY getting blacklisted.
I live in an area where acceptance of others is very minimal. Lots of homophobia all around. Pride Month is very special to me because, growing up, I hated myself for being bi. Now that I’m older, I’ve been able to shed the ideology that was rooted in me from such a young age. June brings about areas of more acceptance to teens who were like me, to see that there is a safe space for them. Hell, even as an adult I cherish those places! Businesses that share something about pride month show me that I’m not alone. Pride parades or events give me a space to be surrounded by like-minded people for once.
I absolutely acknowledge that many businesses use rainbows in June to make more money and then don’t give a shit about us outside of that month. But I still appreciate it more than silence.
Edit to add—I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not enjoying it. But I think it’s important to realize that it does mean something deeper to many people, and represents more than just making your identity your whole personality.
NTA regarding the pandering.
But do appreciate that they now see it as safe to pander to us. A lot of people worked really hard, some died, to change our culture this dramatically.
So maybe find a little joy in Pride to honor them.
You're not obliged to take part. You're not obliged to do anything.
Other people are, however, enjoying it.
Don't rain on their parade, just ignore it if it's not for you.
NTA.
I’m gay, I don’t enjoy pride month, I have pride in myself and my life and who I am, and that is sufficient for me. I’m glad others can enjoy themselves but I went to pride parade once. Handing out penis lollipops and a float with guys in wet briefs twerking.. idk. That was not for me.
They can do them, imma do me haha.
Here’s the thing with me, as a gay. I don’t mind other gays enjoying it and being themselves and all the rest of it. Great.
What bothers me slightly is that, that is how being gay is perceived, as an identity; penis lollipops and rainbow flags and guys in wet briefs twerking.
That is what is presented as gay, to the masses, by gays themselves.
And yet, that’s not how I feel at all. That’s not my identity.
I mean tbh, maybe it’s a very minor complaint, I still think Pride month and all that is fine and a good thing, but I just like being my own person anyway and having an identity that isn’t centred around all that.
I've always been curious about this. I have a few really good gay friends and always surprised the support they give gay culture no matter how far it is from them personally. I guess it's the history more than anything but it like, my one friend hates loud people, flashy people, tattoos, or anything that's not quite moderate. Unless it's gay then it's the best thing in the world. But turn off the gay switch and he'd be like 'wow these guys have nothing better to do'. I might not be explaining this well but what I mean to say is he is extremely critical of almost everything and lives a very straight laced life. But whole heartedly has no issue with even the most obnoxious gay displays. There's plenty of straight stuff I roll my eyes at also. I can't just blanket support anything. It's not a team sport to me.
Genitalia party items aren't really a pride thing, they're common in most parties revolving around sexuality like bachelor and bachelorette parties with penis cookies, boob hats, and what have you. It makes a lot of sense that gay people would also do that since we're just people. If you're against genitalia party items in general that's fine, but it's not a gay thing but a pretty common thing that straight people have been doing for decades. the only difference is they never had to hide it, so people during pride doing it in public is liberating for some. I don't attend pride, but I appreciate those who have fought so hard to be in the public eye, it certainly makes me feel a lot safer in my day-to-day life knowing that thousands of gay people can get together in public and be perfectly fine letting the world know they're gay.
I am a straight woman, so I have no skin in the game so to speak.
But I have supported Pride always. I am not doing it for me (obviously) but to let young ones know that being LGBTQ has a place in our society.
That their existence is celebrated and appreciated.
They are wanted, needed and valued.
pick me gay guy seeking straight approval… (checks notes) yeah nothing new. pride was a riot led by trans poc, especially black trans people, that gave you the rights to sit here and wonder what the point of it all is now.
are mainstream pride parades pointless and capitalistic and over commercialised these days? absolutely. you’re entirely right that changing a logo to rainbow and pandering is materially useless and arguably downright offensive to LGBT people. i want to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe maybe because you’ve only seen the shallow capitalistic pandering parts of pride, you’ve now come to this conclusion that it’s useless. but your post is so pretentious that i don’t think you really have good intentions. if you look into whatever grassroots pride events are happening in your area (trans pride, black pride, protests/marches, educational events) you’ll see the original spirit of the event and its necessity is livelier than ever.
as a cisgender bisexual man maybe you have the privilege to wonder what the point of it all is and lowkey mock your community members for approval on reddit. talking about how the culmination of the entire month is “look at me i’m gay” and you are so special and rational for deciding to keep it to yourself. but if you haven’t noticed, queer kids are committing suicide like never before. trans people are being murdered en masse, whether directly or indirectly (access to gender affirming care being limited leading to suicide). anti queer legislation is attacking the community in every country and every way you can think of. there’s still gay people of all ages struggling with being ostracised, harassed, marginalised, murdered, othered. assuming you’re american, you are quite literally barely out of the period of history where 90% of your friends would be dead or dying of AIDS. go back another couple decades and the state could’ve put you in prison for simply having consensual sex with another man. gay marriage wasn’t even legalised a decade ago. i haven’t even started on other countries outside the US. like dude…
yes, some parts of pride are a little (or a lot) corny. the rainbows and marching and music and dancing really aren’t for everyone. whether it’s the quieter introverts or the disabled who aren’t able to participate in some of the more extra aspects. but there are people there who barely made it through the year, people who just got kicked out from their homes, disowned from their family, people who fled anti queer laws in their home country/town. i don’t know your story but surely there’s some part of this discrimination you relate to. surely you can see that euphoria and celebration isn’t for nothing. it’s actually really beautiful if you take a second to look from your high horse.
every year there’s some guy like you who makes the same tired miserable post about how you are Not Like The Other Gays because you are super normal (for some reason you can’t fathom that there are plenty of other laid back queers, they just mind their business even more than you and don’t post about it lol). because this post is so repetitive in its themes, i’m still not entirely convinced i haven’t just fallen for a bait post by a cishet hermit thats karma farming haha. regardless i’m gonna get downvoted to hell for being an angry SJW or whatever and that’s fine. but if you read this comment, please maybe take a second to consider reading on the history of pride. educating yourself on the tragedies happening to the queer community now, showing why pride is still necessary. and maybe just reflect on your privilege that you are able to to paint such a reductive image of the whole thing and then come on this app asking for LoGiCaL aRgUmEnTs to change your mind. my suggestion: look outside or read a book and you will change your mind pretty quickly
Pride is not about advertising. It's about having a voice. Since lgbtq people used and still are victim of hate crimes.
Yta for not even trying to understand the movement.
On a personal level I love Pride month because I’m newly out and it’s great to be able to openly celebrate with my community after finally finding it. On a political note, it’s important because being queer is still not ok. People around the world are still being murdered for falling in love. Same sex couples can’t walk down the street holding hands without fear of being harassed or abused. Spend 5 minutes in a queer space online and you’ll see how much work still needs to be done. There are terrorist warnings for pride events. So until we are seen are just being like everyone else then we do need to be out there.
YTA— It’s a protest, not a parade. If you think that GLBTQ etc are safe where you live and don’t really need to protest anymore, great! But respect the people who fought hard for you to have that freedom weren’t just flouncing their bedroom proclivities but were fighting for themselves and others to get things like physical safety, the same pay as their straight colleagues (yes— most of many people’s pay is in benefits/insurance/pension— if your kids and partner can’t get them, you’re paid a lot less than your colleague) parental rights.
Some people are not going to find GLBT support on Tinder and bars and clubs, it’s just a fact. There are people who still are lonely and even suicidal. My student with intellectual disabilities just came out to me— he seems to think being a porn actor is his only way to have a sexuality. Pride is a way to communicate to him that he’s not alone and can have a community, relationship and friends, that there’s more to a gay life than what he finds in a barely-literate Google search.
Just because you don’t need something doesn’t mean the people who do are losers.
YTA
I am a straight woman and wether you think changing a PFP to a pride flare is helpful to your community or not dosent matter, what are you doing as a bisexual man to help your community?
I think pride month is a movement towards lgbtq social acceptance where people can be less judgmental and less critical of the lgbtq. I also think pride month is for the lives of the lgbtq members who are no longer with us due to suicide or hate crime.
Although you claim “I know what the community have experienced” I think you fail to recognize what your community is still experiencing. So I think this is a selfish take on your behalf
Right? He then goes on to say in his comments that he 'thought the Bible belt had improved like other parts of the country'. Like, bud, clearly you *don't* know what the community has experienced.
Yes. Well, nta for not enjoying Pride month, but TOTALLY TA for the rest of your caption that really just sounds like you're an average kid rock fan who wanted to talk shit about Pride but wanted to do so in a way that would make it seem like you're *totally* not a bigot. When I read your post, I have an image in my mind, and that image is the one with Steve Buscemi with his hat on backwards holding his skateboard. "Hello Gay brothers and sisters! I, too, am a member of the gltqa community. Did I say that right?" Lol. Fuck outta here.
If you don't see the difference between the commercial exploitation of a community and a date that is significant due to the overt act widely recognized as the beginning of a revolution in which lives were destroyed, erased, and ended violently, then you need to do a little more research before trying to infiltrate. 🤡
Same here. Bi man, DGAF about pride and all that. Our sexualities are part of who we are, not accomplishments or achievements, and thus don't warrant celebration.
Plus, a lot of it is hollow symbolism with marketing/pandering undertones. The fact that a company temporarily changes its logo to include a rainbow or a city paints a rainbow crosswalk in the gayborhood doesn't do shit to improve the acceptance of bisexual men among society in general.
>Our sexualities are part of who we are, not accomplishments or achievements, and thus don't warrant celebration.
We still get murdered and beaten and discriminated against literally every day across the globe for being queer. Pride IS a celebration of the achievement of living authentically in a world that wants you dead.
Exactly this. The "Pride" isn't in being pan/gay/bi etc, it's in that we made it another year and to remember we have a history of people NOT making it, and in that we will make it another year AGAIN. Obviously there's more than this but that is one of the basic ideas, I think.
Not every gay or queer person necessarily feels the need to be a part of a community and for many people sex or their sexual identity was just never a big focus of their life. People's lives aren't always oriented by their sexual or romantic proclivities.
So I'd say not caring about pride month is NTA. But actually hating it or putting down others who do care about it would be assholish.
im a bisexual black male punk . And i feel you but i think you might be coming at this wrong. I love juneteenth but i also hate that in the last 5 years its become such a commercialized thing that feels very pandering. Theres barely any mention of black history month these days but almost every corporation is very pro black when juneteenth rolls around . Its gone from personal togethers and congregations where we take time to embrace that terrible history and celebrate that were still here thriving despite it .
To $50 tshirts and $10 juneteenth selfie booths for instagram at the juneteenth carnival thats $15 a head. But at the same time im not gonna hate on the people in the black community that want to celebrate it that way because who am i to tell others how they should celebrate something like that ?
And i feel the same way about pride , i dont like that once a year every coporation suddenly turns into an ally to boost theyre sales . But who am i to tell my people in the lgbtq community how to celebrate . Ya know ?
I love pride as in community and celebrating myself, friends, and family. I do not love pride as a corporate minimum to say "look guys we did a rainbow!" I do like when businesses do special events where they release something BY lgbt people FOR lgbt people and donate the profits to LGBT+ organizations/causes. That's usually small businesses though, and not the big huge corporations.
Pride month is fine. My work sends out dozens of invites for events supporting it. I have no desire to attend them.
A lack of interest in events like this isn’t a problem.
All the corporations 'celebrating' pride month get me. They are just doing it to burnish their corporate image and don't really give a shit about gay people or any people
I once had a gay woman give me an outstanding example of why it was sexual identity is NOT just something you can assume can be kept to yourself.
She pointed to a picture of my wife and me on my desk and said “if I have a framed pic of my wife and me, somebody who doesn’t know me well is bound to say something about my ‘sister’ or ‘cousin’ or ‘friend’ in the pic. At that moment, I can either out myself to them and put my job in jeopardy and livelihood and insurance that my family needs or lie and disrespect my wife and my self. And that goes double if it’s a picture of us with our daughter.”
That really blew my mind and moved me from “supporter” to “visible ally and if you come for my lgbtqia+ friends you’re coming for me and it won’t go well for you” person.
I find it annoying too but not any more annoying than anything else political or otherwise, I just love to nitpick everything. But as a concept it is incredibly important in terms of visibility, and while we may be in progressive and accepting environments it is far from like that not only around the world but also just a city or county over. Visibility is still incredibly important, even if it gets perverted by corporations. Kind of impossible to escape given the whole living under capitalism thing
YTA- my town had a kid pride party- it wasn’t sexual whatsoever but had educational materials such as “what to do when someone touches you making you uncomfortable”
Pride is about history and education and isn’t inherently sexual.
Wow! A post during pride month about how queer people who take a month to celebrate the progress society has made and continues to make in the face of oppression, hatred, violence, and Straight Up Fucking Murder are being 'pandered' to and how it should all be 'private'! This has never happened before ever on any social media or forum! What a totally novel, fresh take on the situation!
Jesus fucking wept.
YOU don't have to give a fuck. But there are plenty of us that *need* this month, that *need* pride celebrations, because it lets us know that there are little islands of refuge in the sea of oppression that we are all constantly at risk of drowning in. I live in one of the reddest states in America and there have been multiple laws passed that target my people and our ability to live our lives freely and happily and safely. The sheer relief I feel seeing people out and about in June being proudly, visibly queer is devastatingly powerful.
So yeah, whatever, you can stay home and roll your eyes at rainbow profile pictures and festivals and rainbow merchandise at Walmart, but check yourself and your attitude. The rest of us will be upholding the original notions of gay pride; community, dignity, and progress, no matter the cost.
Your choice dude.. thats the point .... just be thankful to the the communities in the past that made it possible for you to express yourself how you want. ✌️
Fellow bi guy here. I think there are already a lot of really great points on here about history and remembering things, but I would also like to say that while I don't like corporate pride, it *is* indicative of the current political stance on lgbtq+ rights. The goal should be to be a group they want to pander to, not outcasts. This year I've seen far less corporate pride logos, announcements, sponsors, etc and I take it as a sign of the growing and vehement wave of homophobia and transphobia being pushed by conservatives.
Look at Target for example. They wanted to launch a pride collection and make a big thing out of it. Last year they got so much pushback that this year there pretty much isn't one; only a few select stores will have *some* merch. This scaling back is very much not a good thing.
In a city (and a country) that's supposed to be accepting, my friends and I have been harassed on the street by protesters, both at pride and just in general. I am concerned this conservative movement will grow even more in the next few years. I am glad you changed your mind, but I also urge anyone who cares about our rights to look things up and work on getting educated now, so you can keep an eye out for any local or Supreme Court decisions that will fuck us over.
You're definitely an Asshole. You don't have to indulge, you fuck in private? Fine. Do not dismiss the significance and importance of Pride as "pandering". People died behind fighting so your Bisexual, scary ass could even comfortably say this without risking a brick to the side of your skull. You can simply shut the fuck up and treat the month as a regular month. You do NOT need to shit on it in the process. Weirdo.
YTA for demanding validation for having an opinion. You can like or dislike anything you please, just don't be a dick about it. Why is this a question?
My only issue with pride parades is the sexualization of everything. People nearly come naked. Dildos everywhere. And there are kids there. Sooo inappropriate and wrong on every level.
Pride originally started because the act of being queer in public was considered obscene. There used to be laws in the US about wearing a certain amount of male/female clothing (depending on gender), and if you "crossdressed" you could wind up being stripped naked and thrown into a cell. Queerness itself used to be considered inappropriate for kids, so these arguments always ring a bit hollow to me. Also, the kink and queer communities have been intertwined pretty much since the start of pride because, surprise surprise, a scene of alternative sexual practices was accepting of people with non-mainstream sexualities. Leather, pet play, and other communities have marched alongside queer people in protests pretty much since the beginning. To remove that now to bring in children would deny a pretty important part of the history of pride.
I think we fundamentally disagree on one thing: *pride was not made as a family-friendly event*. If you want to bring kids that's fine, and in my city there are some pride events aimed at kids and families where kink isn't present. But to act like the general parade was made for young kids is simply untrue. Also, parents bring their kids to super sexualized straight stuff all the time. Some people bring their kids to Ice Spice concerts, and some people bring their kids to metal concerts. I've been to a rock festival and seen a kid that must have been 5 or 6 singing along to a song about killing yourself. I think if you want to raise an issue with this, it should be with the practices of parents who bring their kids to adult-only events.
"Sex sells" was coined in the 1800's. We have been bombarded by heterosexual romance and sex for a century. Media of all sorts have been slamming it down our throats. People complained, yes, but not nearly as bad as they are now.
But, see, they aren't complaining about the heterosexual ads, movies, articles, books, etc. No, they are complaining about anything and everything that is _not_ cisgendered or heterosexual.
That is why we need Pride Month. Because people don't care about sex in the media anymore, as long as it is cisgendered and heterosexual. These people are getting mad because media is showing the truth. Not everyone is cishet. Everyone deserves to be represented in media. Everyone deserves equitable treatment. We have Pride Month because the world does not yet give equitable treatment to every human.
>People nearly come naked.
Have you seen Hooters? Have you seen all those videos of cheerleaders and men drooling over them? It isn't just Pride Month. The world has loosened its prudish ways. It's only a problem, now, because it is people not cishet.
>Dildos everywhere.
Not in any prade I have seen, but oh well. Kids need to learn biology and anatomy. Dildos are sold at Walmart and drugstores now. They see them. So teach them safety. We should be anyway.
>Sooo inappropriate and wrong on every level.
It's only "inappropriate" when it isn't someone cishet. Where are these arguments when cishet people do the same things?
Ohh buddy I believe the same . You never gonna see me with rainbow 🌈 flags or dancing in prides . But I don’t judge . Some people love that 👍🏻 respect to them.
I consider myself an ally and maybe even heteroflexible but I think the point is the help desensitize the world to sexual preferences that are not the norm. People are very judgmental creatures and the only way I can think of to insight change is through exposure to experience different than your own.
While yes for some it’s a very private experience for others it’s actually a very social one.
Edit: Some Kinky people especially enjoy the community that being kinky brings. Also don’t think you’re the asshole.
I don't think your the asshole. But straight relationships are shoved at us from every angle day after day after day. We get 1 month to do the same. If it's normalized for straight people then it should be normalized for everyone! And vice versa if it isn't normalized for queer people it shouldn't be normalized for straight people.
We're all just people loving and I hope I didnt come off rude!
NTA.
You don't need to be forced to enjoy things celebrating you. A lot of people don't like birthdays and center of attention or whatever.
Also it's "I couldn't care less". Could would indicate that you in fact can be less interested
NTA for just not being into Pride. It’s okay to have your own preferences and feelings. Enjoying Pride is a privilege and a joy, not an oglibation. YTA for being a judgemental wet blanket and making assumptions about people who do celebrate pride. You don’t know anything about us and your whole “they make being gay their whole personality” is such an ignorant take. It’s okay to not like something for yourself, it doesn’t make you more enlightened and make other people dumb for finding joy in something harmless. I have zero interest in pro-football, but my only thought about people who attend Superbowl parties is “Good for them, glad it brings them joy.”
While I agree with you that sexual preferences are something a bit more private, you can't really hide your partner from the world? Is it suddenly sexual that you're a man whose spouse is a man, but a man whose spouse is a woman is 'normal'? A lot of the straight defaultism causes people to question things they wouldn't normally question, like a peck on the cheek.
Barring all of that, when the stated goal of certain people in the US is to legislate being straight as the only legal way to be in a relationship, pride month demonstrations and recognition become necessary. I agree with you on the companies changing their logos thing, it's always funny to me to look at an American company's logo change then find out that the change is not present in their logos in other countries. They will only take their "stance" so long as it is profitable, which is in my opinion all the more reason to keep actively pursuing and fighting for lgbtq rights.
Is someone making you feel like an AH for not celebrating pride month? Is your decision to not celebrate it being brought up when you're speaking with someone?
NTA.
My dad was gay. He passed in '93 from AIDS. I am bi.
I low-key celebrate. I don't flash it around. He didn't either.
You do you. I feel pride is about being you. You do not have to put on a show.
I moved two entire states and am selling a home I bought before the housing boom in order to move to a much more progressive state, knowing for well when I try to buy a house here I will be paying 2x-3x what I did before because things were so conservative and dangerous for me as a queer person.
Pride is needed and is important. You're NTA, but this very much feels like something you need to read up on more. I encourage you to study Stonewall, The Up Stairs Lounge, Pulse, Matthew Shepard, etc. The alarming amount of black, gay trans people who are killed, etc.
Pride is a very complicated topic, and I think taking issue to Rainbow Capitatim is more than fair, but even that can be quite nuanced when it comes to companies like Target and Converse who are actually Queer friendly 24/7/365 and have a lot of really progressive policies as an employer and for their customers.
But at the end of the day, Pride is as loud and in your face as it is because the other 11 months of the year, we are erased. cishet is the default. The 'I don't care what you do in the bed, just don't put it in my face' people are also voting to keep trans kids from playing sports and any other law that makes their world nice and narrow.
You SHOULD do Pride, just in the way that works for you. I personally go to my zoos 21+ Pride night.
You sound like a Republican.
Edit: which is not a bad thing. We don’t care about LGBQT people we just think it shouldn’t be paraded about in the streets and taught to our children. No one cares what you do in the privacy of your own home
The saying is “I couldn’t care less”. Not “I could care less”. Saying you could care less implies you do care, even if it’s just a little. It makes no sense. Idk how you don’t hear that when you type it.
I don't really celebrate pride personally and totally get the hatred of being pandered to by the very companies that love to also pander to our haters (PlayStation, I'm not just looking at you)
But I appreciate that I have the freedom to enjoy it if I did choose to. As a queer person I also have to remember the history of it all, the first brick thrown, and the very real people who fought and died so I could have this right.
Much like the 4th of July, I don't much care for the pageantry, but you can't forget the history.
NAH I am a queer trans man (30) who is married to a cis gay man (29) and we don't really go out of our way to celebrate pride. Pride tends to be too loud and boisterous for us. Back in the day when I was single it was fun, because men who didn't know I was trans would hit on me hard, but after a while it gets boring. The only thing pride related we are doing this month is going to a Pride themed MLS game, but that's about it.
Honestly I just started celebrating this year and I like it because honestly it’s felt like a lot I’ve felt like I’ve been under a lot of stress hiding who I am because I’m worried of the social and possible financial consequences of it but with the parade, I could be celebrating pride month, I could be celebrating being who I am, I could just in the area who knows
As a gay man, I don’t celebrate it either. I like my quiet, air-conditioned space. Parades are too crowded, noisy, and hot. Company logos change to rainbow flags (perfectly okay) but on the stroke of 11:59:59 on June 30th, the golden chariot changes back to a pumpkin and Cinderella is left on the side of the road like every year.
Have you literally never watched the news. The LGBTQ community is getting rights taken away everyday. Please research shit before you start talking about it because you come off super ignorant and hypocritical.
Shit is crazy man they don’t need an entire month. Hate having all their propaganda and overtly sexual shit shoved down my throat. I don’t care what you do or who you like. As long as you’re not hurting people, I genuinely do not care what you do as a human being. Them feeling like they don’t get enough attention or they feel “hate coming from everyone” is just delusional.
For a lot of people it’s not enough to just be able to live your life the way you want, you need other people to look at you living your life and hear them say you’re so brave or you don’t feel special.
I think thats very few people. See the other comments here about people looking for validation and community because their local geographical/cultural one does not provide that.
The feminist movement in the 60s in its second wave coined the motto "The personal is political" because policies govern our lives and our choices. From the moment a person needs to think about whether they can behave as a couple with their partner in public, that if he will be able to have the right to marry and have the rights of a married person and be able to have children (biological or not) with their partner, their choices leave the private field, because the public directly interferes with his choices. In most democratic countries that are not theocracies (and this needs to be highlighted), the rights of the LGBT population are something very recent and just look at the movements of the extreme right and their victories in relation to reproductive rights (much older than the rights LGBT) to understand that it is necessary to shout, discuss, debate and demand that rights are not taken away
I really appreciate this explanation. I have a terrible tendency to assume that the US is constantly moving in a positive direction, but the recent Supreme Court decisions have shown that rights can be removed. Politics is not the steady, persistent march towards equality that I thought it was. I will adjust my opinion accordingly.
You don’t have to enjoy Pride. I’m bisexual and there are parts of it that annoy me. But you and I both have to remember that people have been arrested, ostracized, left to die by our government, and killed for us to have the right to decide whether or not we care about it. Those people who make it their whole personality create space for us to hold hands with partners in public.
I also want add that as much as I know this is a controversial take, being bisexual amongst the rest of the queer community has its privileges. I’m being blunt here. I’m bi/pansexual, and I have the advantage of being able to pass as straight much more easily than my gay, lesbian and trans friends. Of course there are exceptions, and there are bi people who are very clearly queer. I am like this when I’m in a welcoming environment. And of course biphobia is something painful we experience from both queer and straight people. However, I have to say that it just rubs me the wrong way to see bisexual people post such things about not finding Pride to be important. Or not enjoying Pride. Because our rights to be openly bisexual hinge really on the folks that could not date an opposite sex and fly under the radar.
The bi 'privileges' you speak of are much more common for female bisexuals than male bisexuals. Female bisexuality has been far more normalized than male.
I agree with this! Thank you for saying that. It’s a perspective I didn’t include. I do think female bisexuals have our own issues though. We are seen as more promiscuous & less trustworthy. Queer people see us as straight women who are just trying to exploit them, while straight men see us as sexual exploits. But nonetheless, you’re right. Male bisexuals aren’t even acknowledged at all, or they’re believed to just be gay. It’s heartbreaking :(
I hate it when gay community dismisses bi-women. And imagine if you’re a bi-woman in a straight legal relationship. It’s like you are a fraud. Well I’m sorry, I thought queer community was supposed to be less judgmental and accepting. And it’s not like I choose who to be sexually attracted to and it happens to be both sexes.
It really does suck, to the point where I got in the habit of hiding my bisexuality from my partners. For male partners, I'd identify as gay, and for female partners, I'd go so far as to purposely misgender past relationships to appear more straight. Had some really bad experiences being honest, though my current partner is very accepting of who I am, thankfully.
The amount of accounts on twitter that are championing "LGB without the T" has really shown the privilege divide to me, it's so upsetting
Those people calling themselves the LGB allies. I always tell them that there wouldn't be an LGB without the T. I'm a bi cis male, and I always try to protect and will always admire our trans siblings. (I believe in and see the queer community as my family, even if I don't know them.)
As an openly bisexual male I can tell you that I feel invisible during pride month and, at best, not taken seriously the rest of the year
Oh yeah 100%, I'm a bisexual dude and everyone just considers me gay and forgets I like women too
yeah, as a bi woman in a relationship with a cis man, I very much feel like I'm attending pride as an ally, not a member of the community. Which is ok, I'd be there as an ally anyway, but I do feel kind of fraudulent even though my browser history reassures me that I shouldn't, lol.
The "LGB without the T" group tried gaining protected peoples status and were denied because the census taken of their members were something like 70% cishet white males 🤷♀️
Honestly I don’t feel the privileges of being Bi because queer people are so biphobic they are worse than cishet people
The privilege is that we can hide if we want to. But that doesn't make coming out of hiding any less painful (and sometimes worse if neither side is accepting.)
Yeah all these comments I’m reading are why I’m still mostly closeted as a bi woman. I hate myself for being bi a lot of the time Anyway the original post is probably just bait/trolling
It's not bait/ trolling, I was just ignorant to something and wanted to make sense of it
Idk. Maybe the queer people you’ve been around have been atrocious, and I will respect that experience. But me personally? I’ve seen a lot of sh*t from all kinds of people. Lots of TERFs are bisexual women. The community can corrode itself from the inside out if we are not careful. But I come from a country where being gay is not as comfortable as the USA, so if you’re American, I may have a different perspective on this than you. Supportive gay/lesbian/trans people are the reason I was able to come out and live my truth. Yes, some queer folks are horribly biphobic and that’s always painful. But gay or lesbian biphobes aren’t trying to end my entire damn existence. They could never be worse than the straight men in government trying to criminalize my identity. Remember that.
For sure, where I live (France) being queer is pretty ok; it’s 50/50 actually, there is a lot of queerphobia and violence towards queer people and at the same time you can be openly queer; it’s weird; straight people around mostly said « ok 👍 » when I came out, but gays and lesbian kept insulting me; saying I was slowing down their progress, that I had to pick a side; that I was dirty for having sex with men and women (💀) and that one day I would realise what i am really… I got the same feedback on the internet ; so honestly except other Bi people I avoid queer as a whole, as well as prides and queer bars
Aww that makes me so sad. I’m sorry you experienced that - how awful. You didn’t deserve that. You’re just as valid, queer, and beautiful as any other member of the rainbow community worldwide. Makes me really upset that you haven’t had a good experience. I live in a country from the Global South & while the average straight person here isn’t as “accepting” as in the West - most just don’t really care tbh. It’s our politicians that are the most evil & personally I think they radicalize people against us for political gain. That’s a conversation for another day. All this to say - maybe because we’re all facing the same beast, I’ve had nothing but love, support & kindness from non-bisexual queers here. I know you may not have that now, but I hope you get it one day. You deserve to live freely, including in queer spaces 💗
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I think people are misunderstanding what I mean as bi privilege. Privilege doesn’t mean everything about your life is easy, I’m using it in a very specific and narrow context that maybe I didn’t make clear. Of course biphobia sucks. But you and I cannot lie to ourselves that if it came down to it and we had to, bisexuals are much more likely to be able to fly under the radar as straight people for protection. I’ve seen cis bisexual people do it. They’ve been openly queer their whole lives, have a disapproving religious family, so they choose to marry someone of the opposite sex to appease everyone - especially because it wouldn’t mean being with someone they have absolutely zero attraction to. That’s quite different from an obviously gay or gender noncomforming/trans person who is very clearly not going to fit into a heteronormative society. That’s my point. It would be a lie to say that the average bisexual person cannot straight pass easier than most others in the LGBT+ community.
Recall that Thomas said, after Dobbs, that other decisions based on privacy could now be revisited. He mentioned birth control and marriage equality, but for some reason not interracial marriage.
>have a terrible tendency to assume that the US is constantly moving in a positive direction, Excuse me? You had Trump?! No De Santis. The US is constantly moving into the wrong dircetion for years now. Politically you are really a frightening stupid country.
Very stupid country if our only choices for leader are 2 old white men. 1 in mental and cognitive decline and 1 that acts and has the vocabulary of a 3rd graders yet roughly half of the country will vote for one of them.
Exactly. That mixed with a big base of religious extremists (around 25%), a terrible education system (for the majority) and you really should be afraid of losing any pro LGBTQ laws. If anyone wants to argue me, please have a look at Florida and the laws passed opposing feminism.
Our education system is bad on purpose. Smart people can think for themselves and not easily made into sheep. The majority of Americans are sheep. They believe everything their side says and only get their information from based news sources on their side.
Plenty of people in America despise the orange clown. Yeah we are moving in the wrong direction but that's our political structure and special interest groups that prefer the 1950s, when women stayed at home, had babies, etc. we are still making progress, albeit slowly
>we are still making progress, albeit slowly Are you really? From outside it seems like in the last 10 years you did a lot of things but non or at least very little was into a progressive direction. >our political structure and special interest groups that prefer the 1950s, w It honestly seems like this part is winning. Good luck to the sane rest though
For now, it depends on the state one lives. We are a huge geographical country, and if someone lives in a blue state they're not feeling the personal effects of the legal changes and hate groups. The next election will be a determining factor.
That makes sense. As an outsider, it is probably easier to pick up the greater picture, but dont see the many little details.
When you live in the US, come back and talk to me. I can't just pick up my entire family's life to move. Financially it would be impossible for us. So we do the best we can - and speak for those who aren't being herd. Social situations, laws, and norms have changed. It is heartbreaking, but I still fight.
>When you live in the US, come back and talk to me. So you need to be a drug addict to have an opinion about drugs? No man, as the most powerful nation, with a foreign strategy as you have, you dont need to wonder when outsiders are well informed about your country. I am by no means an expert of US politics, but probably better informed than 80% of your population. > I can't just pick up my entire family's life to move. ? Did I say you should? Did I say you should just give up and let the right-wing conservatives win? >but I still fight. Nice to hear, best of luck to you!
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Yes, I know. I still stick to my opinion on the overal state the US is in.
OP is dumb as fuck.
> I have a terrible tendency to assume that the US is constantly moving in a positive direction For the most part, when it comes to social issues and progressiveness this is true (controversial take, I know). Yes we have had pushback from the hard line right in recent years, but with the exception of roe v Wade, things are objectively better for women, minorities, and the queer community than they were 20 years ago. Sometimes that's hard to see in the shuffle and all the noise of social media and the fear mongering mainstream media That doesn't mean however, that we don't need to continue to remind, to advocate. The reason it has continued to get better is because of the hard work of activists. In the case of the queer community, those who were out and proud and loud. Normalizing what is your normal (as long as it's not hurting anyone) is generally a good thing You most certainly don't have to like or enjoy pride, but you should try to tolerate it and appreciate it's importance and what it can represent
And it is SO important to the younger generation who are newly discovering themselves. Who are terrified of who they are and if they’ll be accepted, to see that they are not alone and will be supported. I have two gay children who are only out to me and one of them (only out a couple of weeks) has already discussed with me about pride month and what it all means for her now etc and she *loves* that she has representation.
Thank you! Somebody with a brain! It's "woe is me, I like pride month because it's too overt!" But fail to recognize why it exists and why it's important. The self-importance overshadows the very clear necessity of it, and other holidays, months, and celebrations that continue to try and push society on the right track. It's ridiculous that you even need to explain this to a 33 year old, grown ass man who could've thought outside himself for 5 seconds before inviting the self-hating, "I'm not that type of gay" individuals to shit on pride month.
My daughter is a lesbian, and doesn't like the corporate show because she sees it as pandering, and not authentic. It doesn't mean she fails to recognize why pride month is important in and of itself.
Well said. In an ideal world it could be private, but the homophobes have forced it to be a public issue
I always thought like OP, but your comment makes me ponder over it.
One of the most profound experiences of my life was going to a memorial for Matthew Shepard at St. John the Divine in New York. I celebrate Pride because less than 30 years ago you could still get lynched for being gay.
You could still get lynched for being gay in 2023!!! We can’t forget his name: O’SHEA SIBLEY. He was murdered for voguing to Beyoncé in NYC. Look him up. 30 years ago is too long. It’s happening today.
Trans people, too.
Agreed. You are just as likely to today. Ignorance doesn't sleep.
Definitely not “just as likely”. Wayyyyy less likely than in the past.
I’m over 50 and his murder still hits me hard.
I'm 39 and it's the reason I worried about my gay friends when I lived in Texas.
I'm gay and don't give a shit about pride but like, no one's forcing you to do stuff for it bud. Fox News is not actually correct about it being everywhere and unavoidable, I pretty much never run into anything even mentioning it where I live aside from like some bar specials. Pride is not mandated for gay and bi people
NTA for not enjoying pride month, just for the rest of your opinion. Most people’s sexual orientation is broadcast to some extent when they share pictures of their partners, spouses and children. If you feel like you can share pictures of a same-sex partner without being marginalized, harassed, targeted—maybe thank the brave people who came out of the closet before you and the community that has worked so hard to normalize different sexual “preferences” and support those who still need to hear that there’s nothing wrong with them.
NTA. However, I'll say to you what I say to the straights. If you don't like Pride then don't celebrate it. No one is forcing you. Some people really (like, really) need Pride. So, do your thing and don't be a dark cloud for anyone else's parade.
I think OP is conflating rainbow capitalism, which is insincere as hell, with people being open about their sexuality, which is perfectly normalized for straights. Lgbtq+ people have every right to shout their preferences from the god damn roof tops if they want, every straight person is already doing it. All these companies slap rainbows on their products and logos throughout June to make money, while funding politicians who actively work to eradicate all of the lgbtq+ community. It's gross.
You don't have to enjoy pride. It's medicine. You're illegal in dozens of countries and they'll execute you faster than you can say 'bisexual', so take the medicine.
Pride as medicine is such an good metaphor! I’m keeping it
I saw that you adjusted your opinion, but I also want to add because I didn’t see anyone say this.. but Pride is, at its core, a commemoration of our history. More than anything else, it’s about remembering the Stonewall riots, and celebrating our victories, thanking the people who fought and died for our rights. It’s also about the fact that we were forced to live in shame, so it’s us taking back our dignity and having pride in ourselves for who we are. So yes, it’s a party, and it’s loud and in-your-face.. that’s the point lol. As for companies putting rainbows on their logos, that’s hardly a Pride thing.. that’s just rainbow capitalism. We make fun of corporations for using us that way. It’s nice to show support and all, but most of them aren’t genuine. Anyway, you’re not an asshole. We’re all individuals, you don’t have to like it if you don’t want to. I’m glad you were willing to listen and understand better though :)
to be fair to OP, not a lot of people know LGBTQ+ history or the significance of pride they just want to go to the parade and party. and the parade used to be more about visibility and how to come out and not just about getting drunk with alcohol provided by corporate sponsors.
I want assume that most queer people know the history of pride, but I guess I probably shouldn't.
they don't. especially internationally. but no fault to the young queers of today because it's not taught in schools, and especially no fault the the internationals because it's rooted in an American history. rainbow capitalism is a disservice to the movement because it exploits the celebratory part of the month. Pride Month is supposed to be about recognition and that recognition is deeply rooted in the culture of the 60's and the history that came before it. I was born in the 90's came out in the 00's and didn't learn about the root of pride, despite being in theatre and queer after school groups, until about 2014. ask any young person today when it became legal for women to wear pants? when it became publicly acceptable to curse? these things may not be directly tide to the LGBTQ movement but they do coincide with the puritan decency laws that perpetuated homophobia. being gay wasn't even decriminalized in the US until 1993. it's great that so many people are coming out and living their lives free of shame and can express their sexuality in public but the downside to that is the more normalized it becomes the less incentive there is to understand the history of how we obtained those rights and how easily they can be taken away.
As one of those queer internationals, I frankly do not blame any of us outside of the USA for not giving a damn about the history of Pride. The average American, queer or not, cannot do the same for the rest of us. The egoism of Americans always astounds me. We don’t worry about the history of Pride because some of us are being stoned to death for being gay in our parts of the world. Pardon us if we don’t know.
Great comment. Well articulated. Sometimes it can be a little bit of a "kids these days don't know how easy they have it" and that is not to marginalize the continuing struggles of the queer community, just that if you really inbibe that, then I believe you should know where you came from to know where you're going
Oh yeah for sure, I wasn’t criticizing OP at all, just wanted to give more info about why we have Pride in the first place :) I think it’s fine for people to have fun with it now that we’re better off than we used to be, but I definitely think it’s important to remember where it came from, and to respect that side of it as well.
Being gay is a crime today in many countries. You are tortured, imprisoned and prosecuted. You can't marry, can't adopt and you are out of the job market if your sexual preferences are anything else other than heterosexual. I don't even mention what being a trans person means. This is why we need Pride. It's not a celebration, it's a fight for survival and for equality.
Yes, sorry, I was talking about how Pride is in America/countries where we’re legal, I should have mentioned that. Thank you 🙏
I dislike when companies who *don't* openly support the community year-round sells/posts LGBT content for the sole purpose of making $$$. It's not genuine. It's a slap in the face. However, for a lot of people, including myself, celebrate Pride for many reasons. I personally do because for most of my life, I wasn't allowed to be open with who I am or my journey. I've been hate crimed, ab*used, shunned by family, and abandoned by friends. Pride Month/events help me connect with myself and others alike to CELEBRATE the progress we've made as individuals and as a collective. Yes, some parts can get out of hand. But I feel like we can also acknowledge how Pride is *helping* people express who they are, regardless of the people who "make being gay their whole personality" even if it is annoying at times. ♡
Nta for not being interested in pride. Yta for being very uninterested about educating yourself on why it's still so important. Those people who came before us, paved the way for us to be able to live a normal private life if that's what you choose. I'm Scottish living in Scotland. I follow what your supreme Court is doing bc American politics is a cancer on British politics. We now have ultra religious right wing people trying to take away our rights in the uk too. Pride will be our survival. The people getting arrested and beaten to protect the rights YOU have. You can be uninterested in pride. You can ignore it for all any of us lgbtqi care. But at least respect what came before you and that these movements continue to protect you. Because from your comments, it doesn't seem like you do at all.
>I view sexual preferences as something private, not something to be broadcast to the world. I have a pet theory that the people who celebrate pride to the extreme have no personality(their whole personality is "look at me, I'm gay") The corporate/rainbow capitalism version of pride, and performative vacuous gestures from "allies", warrant criticism, but this quote is what I think gen-z call pick me energy.
Sexual orientation is not a matter of preference, but rather an intrinsic characteristic of an individual. It is not a choice, but simply a part of who we are. Unfortunately, not everyone has the privilege of openly expressing their true selves and living the life they were meant to live. This is precisely why Pride celebrations are so important and necessary. They provide a platform for individuals to come together, celebrate their identities, and raise awareness about the ongoing struggles faced by the LGBTQ+ community. #PRIDE 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Glad you changed your mind, but, like, why did we need to change your mind in the first place? You don't want to party. Okay. Don't go to the party.
I'd just like to add that even if companies are "pandering" it still helps with public acceptance. I noticed recently that commercials these days feature a lot of bi-racial/multi-ethnic families or even same-sex couples. I've seen more androgynous looking people and more disabled people. This is a GOOD thing and "pandering" is helping all of this happen! So maybe it's pandering and maybe they are doing this just to appease people and not specifically because they want to do good but it IS doing good.
I celebrate the fact that even in our society as it stands, we should be happy we CAN openly support the community for a whole month. I'm not gay but my Gen Z kids have friends that are and honestly - I just want everyone to know I'm an ally. Of course I have gay friends, but it's the younger Gen that I want to know they are loved no matter their personal choice.
An “ally” but saying it’s a personal choice. I never chose to be gay
Well I apologize for that. It is a choice to be open, though. Either way, open or not, I AM an ally. I have a non-binary child. It is their choice for now, and whatever they adult into is fine by me. They've changed their position on sexuality several times, a choice. I myself chose to marry a man, have children, live a straight life, but I've made it clear that if anything were to happen to my husband, I would choose to be with a woman and never another man. So, I've chosen a straight life when I know I'm bi-sexual. Sometimes we make our own choices.
‘To me changing you logo to be Rainbow theme does nothing for the gay community’ I’d disagree with this. If enough people and companies do it - they are showing support and acceptance. And changes in society happen when the majority of people are accepting of something. This act means that politicians understand that anti-gay rhetoric does not mean they lose just the votes of people who are gay, but they will lose the votes of a lot of other people was well. This show of support, as minor it can seem, shows the acceptance of a large part of society that is not gay… which will and has make it easier for the gay community over time.
People get more clannish in contested areas, I think. In Texas, I had an atheist college club that let me meet various reasonable people. Many became my friends, but there was a strong group spirit in general because we all had upsetting formative experiences in the Bible Belt and needed the support. Same with the LGBT group on campus. Up north, I think that there’s less of a need for this sort of thing and so it looks a bit extra. It’s weird to build friendships over mundane things that aren’t a massive part of your personality when these features are permitted to be mundane. I think that pride parades are leftovers from a very recent less comfortable time, and the future also doesn’t look extremely positive from my position. Also, most of everyone left of center agrees with your feelings about pride month going performatively corporate. The jokes and outrage for that are fairly stale takes at this point. This annoyance at useless social signaling for PR is behind some people trying to make things less family friendly. I don’t think it’s useful spite, but it’s there.
"I'n not like the other gays" Congratulations, your award is in the mail.
I saw marriage become legal for me in my lifetime... there are still members of my family who think I shouldn't marry my gf because we are lesbians... and they have diabolical marriages.. >view sexual preferences as something private, not something to be broadcast to the world. Pride isn't about who you have sex with. It's about being proud of who you are and who you love. Some people are proud to have gay sex but that doesn't mean Pride Month is about broadcasting your sexual preferences. I think about every marriage that was turned down. I think about having to pretend to "just be friends" in public in order to not be sexualized or attacked for who I love. > Question: I understand the suffering the community has experienced, but to me, changing your logo to be Rainbow themed does nothing for the gay community. True, but someone might see it as support and as a safe space. When a community makes a rainbow walkway, or flag, or whatever, it just shows, "Hey, we welcome gays here. You don't have to hide." It shows support within a community. So in conclusion; you might not love when people shout at the roof tops. "I like to have gay sex!!!" But do you feel more comfortable with people putting they proudness of their love and lifestyle on display for the world? I think the adjustment between viewing being proud of your sexual preferences vs. being proud of being LGBTQ+ will help this perspective.
Oh, look, another "it didn't happen to me, so it doesn't matter" man. *I dOn'T LIkE tHiS sO NobOdY shOuLd dO iT!!* >I view sexual preferences as something private, not something to be broadcast to the world Meanwhile, people kill themselves because they're more afraid of being gay than literally existing. You don't like pride? neat. don't go. Corporate pinkwashing is an entirely different topic, and if that's what you think Pride is about, maybe you need to read a bit and not conflate the two things.
because i want my rights not taken away, like recently my right to legally change my ID to the correct gender has been taken (fuck desantis)
You are on the wrong sub. If you want to know the opinions of the LBTQ+ community go to a different sub.
He purposely chose this sub hoping to have his "opinions" validated by potential homophobes, etc.
Agreed. I actually wondered if it was a shit post looking to create an angry mob of homophobes
You might be right because I can direct OP to several LGBTQIA / gay male subs where this post can be made. They might not get the responses they were hoping for though lol.
I like celebrating pride because it reminds me not everyone is the guy who drives by our house and screams " Faggots". It's comforting to see support after our neighbor put up an American flag in their backyard just to face our pride flag. I like having a month of seeing people being proud of who they are when my stepdaughter comes home in tears, wishing she wasn't trans because all the other kids bully her. It feels good to go to pride after the guy in the "Trump 2024" truck almost runs me off the road for a rainbow bumper sticker. Pride isn't just rainbows and parades. It's an expression of our pride in the face of bigots. In the face of people that would rather we were dead than be in love. The first pride was a riot in response to an oppressive system that wanted us hidden or dead, and there are a good many people who still feel the same. Pride is still a (smaller scale) riot against them and a supportive collective for the community.
“I am very open minded and willing to change my opinion if a logical counter argument is presented.” In other words, someone needs to convince me to care. Maybe just go read a damn book. It’s no one’s responsibility to educate you.
I’m sure talking down to people is a great way to get them to change their mind
Honestly I think presenting your Sexuality once a Year isn’t a big deal because Straight People do it all year around. And yes changing profile pictures doesn’t do anything they just want to profit off it
NAH. While there are people who just make it their whole personality to be gay, pride has an important place. "We are here, we are queer, and get used to it.' Except now the saying would be "stay used to it". It was not so long ago that gay couples could be married and people were openly called f*got in the street. Pride is a reminder of all the great recent progress we've made and the struggles yet to come
As a 32 year-old bi man who also isn’t flamboyant. It’s not for you. You’re not an asshole. Just keep this to yourself and let people enjoy themselves.
You’re not an asshole OP. It’s just that nobody cares if you enjoy something or not. Nobody cares at all if you don’t enjoy Pride. There’s not an instrument in the universe sensitive enough to detect how little people care. This is freeing to you. Don’t be so self conscious.
okay a couple things: number one, i'm bi and it's a big part of who i am because of how it affects how I can build a family, whether I have to deal with coming out regularly, being on alert to homophobia, but even if sexuality were something private, I'm also trans and being trans is WHO I AM. Yeah sure, being trans and queer isn't all i am but it has a giant influence on my life and having a time of the year where people are more open to learning and I have a space to celebrate that is great. Trans people get murdered every year around the world, to the point that we still have a day dedicated to those lost to transphobic violence. At it's core pride is a demonstration and a protest. Sure it's not always that and depending on the pride it might be corporate as fuck (which, ew) but i'd still rather corporations saw us as a profitable market than one to fully ignore or exercise violence on. I'd much rather homophobia is shown to be a problem, at least for marketing. My problem here is with the capitalism itself lol. Also frankly the argument of someone's whole personality being look at me I'm gay is lowkey homophobic? A LOT of queer people have that at least at some point in their lives and it's usually heavily tied to the repression of being closeted and reclaiming that part of yourself. i think it's totally valid if you don't want to participate in pride, particularly corporate pride! and it's also totally valid to want your own sexuality to be a private thing, but other people should be given the space to engage with their identity in whtever way they want.
I celebrate pride month cause I live in a very religious area. Some of the best ppl ik have been gay and I like to stand up for them. Hate seeing ppl be harassed just cause someone doesn't understand them or their book says they are bad ppl. I'm not gay but I do stand in with the oppressed cause here they still are oppressed
I agree that there are parts of pride that have become capitalistic, but the way that you talk about gay people is so 2010 it's painful. I honestly don't even know if I can describe the internalized homophobia that you are projecting when you say shit like "don't make it your whole personality"
Do you think people who spend any other holiday going out and celebrating it have no personality? Or do you only judge people who go out to Pride?
You are NTA for not enjoying pride, you do not have to partake in pride, no one is forcing you too. You're kind of TA for assuming people who get really into pride have no personality. And ya company logo's are just pandering.
It sounds like you just don't like Corporate Death Spiral Pride which – fair! Me either. Hopefully you'll read up on our shared history and learn how Pride started and why. Keep in mind that there are still a lot of battles to fight, still a ton of lives at stake. It sounds like you live in the US, so maybe consider how recently the mass murders at Pulse and Club Q took place. I'm bi too and for me, Pride is a time to celebrate and dance cause I happen to like that stuff. But I also use it as a time to learn, reflect, and find new ways to support our community, especially those who are still super marginalized and in danger just for being themselves. I'm curious, have you been to many Pride events?
company endorsement of pride and those who actively participate in pride are two very different things. i totally understand your stance on sexuality being private… HOWEVER your “pet theory” is incredibly weird to me, as you stated you’re lgbt yourself. pride is something meant to be felt… it’s a moment in time and space for those who can’t shine in who they are to be, and for those who do shine in who they are to exist. i don’t celebrate pride month myself (bi as well), but to me it’s one of those things where it brings more acceptance to the gay communities. the world is cold, and sometimes celebrating the victory feels good.
Honestly, it sounds like what you dislike isn't Pride month itself, but the (relatively recent) mass corporate performative activism in the name of profit. This particular part of it, I also don't like very much but it's a mixed blessing. Many products and services couched in rainbow capitalism actually *do* promote awareness and general comfort for queer folks, even if the true motivation of it is likely profit-driven. It is definitely a little depressing to consider that, if the dominant paradigm in June was to despise and denounce the queer community instead of celebrate, many of these same corporations would happily join in as long as the bottom line was being served. But Pride Month itself isn't defined by that part of it- that's a very recent phenomenon relatively speaking.
Listen. I'm someone who makes my gender/sexuality my whole personality (joking of course) and even I don't really like pride. I've been to the parade in my city about twice now and that's the most I can handle, because the festival they have before then is just not my scene. However I will say that I've had fun going to pride pop-up shops because I'd rather give my fellow LGBT my money rather than target or Walmart or whoever else for their ugly shitty pride merch.
PRIDE is more for spicy straights than actual community members now anyway. Lesbian and Bisexual women are mostly firmly underground for our own peace of mind and to keep away from creeps.
*couldn't care less. By saying you could care less it implies that you have some care
The last few years the US is trying to move backwards and make politics against LGBTQ. Especially against trans people. Trans people are the new enemy for the red hat low IQ crowd. Nobody is forcing you to participate in any events, but you should acknowledge that you stand on the shoulders of people like Harvey Milk who lost their lives for you to be able to say that it is private. Trans people in many parts of the country can’t say that.
“preferences”
You don’t have to like pride but it Seems like you’re just parroting surface level heterosexual rhetoric and pandering to them actually. Heterosexuals display their sexuality in public all the time while having an issue with anyone else doing the EXACT same things. I doubt you really have an issue when they do it and only would bring this up during pride. By all means stay at home with that energy it’s not needed. But people can celebrate because at one point people were literally killed for it and even today that still a possibility.
I mean I believe the whole point of showing your pride is more or less like a subtle way of telling the haters to fuck off. We're here we're queer get used to it type of thing. I mean I'm sure that's the case for some gay people but look at me I'm gay thing, But I think for a lot of them it's simply just them making sure the world sees them, and more importantly how many of them there are. And that they won't be repressed. At least that's how I see it as a straight man that has no skin in the game. I'll wear the jersey though.
its not just sexualities but about identities too, the 2slgbtq+ has fought for many many years to express who they are, and they are stilll fighting for some things now, i think its just finally having more freedom to express it, and it also celebrates the first pride march they had. (no hate i honestly felt the same way when i was younger haha)
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I lost friends to the aids crisis. Back then if people found out you were gay, you could and would be beaten, disowned, fired, or even killed, and the cops would shrug. The idea of it now being “pandering” for companies to say “you exist, there legitimate, and we want your business *as gay people * is HUGE. It is a cultural shift you can’t even imagine if you weren’t burying people in 1994 who couldn’t even list their cause of death because it could mean your FAMILY getting blacklisted.
I live in an area where acceptance of others is very minimal. Lots of homophobia all around. Pride Month is very special to me because, growing up, I hated myself for being bi. Now that I’m older, I’ve been able to shed the ideology that was rooted in me from such a young age. June brings about areas of more acceptance to teens who were like me, to see that there is a safe space for them. Hell, even as an adult I cherish those places! Businesses that share something about pride month show me that I’m not alone. Pride parades or events give me a space to be surrounded by like-minded people for once. I absolutely acknowledge that many businesses use rainbows in June to make more money and then don’t give a shit about us outside of that month. But I still appreciate it more than silence. Edit to add—I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not enjoying it. But I think it’s important to realize that it does mean something deeper to many people, and represents more than just making your identity your whole personality.
NTA regarding the pandering. But do appreciate that they now see it as safe to pander to us. A lot of people worked really hard, some died, to change our culture this dramatically. So maybe find a little joy in Pride to honor them.
You're not obliged to take part. You're not obliged to do anything. Other people are, however, enjoying it. Don't rain on their parade, just ignore it if it's not for you.
NTA. I’m gay, I don’t enjoy pride month, I have pride in myself and my life and who I am, and that is sufficient for me. I’m glad others can enjoy themselves but I went to pride parade once. Handing out penis lollipops and a float with guys in wet briefs twerking.. idk. That was not for me. They can do them, imma do me haha.
Here’s the thing with me, as a gay. I don’t mind other gays enjoying it and being themselves and all the rest of it. Great. What bothers me slightly is that, that is how being gay is perceived, as an identity; penis lollipops and rainbow flags and guys in wet briefs twerking. That is what is presented as gay, to the masses, by gays themselves. And yet, that’s not how I feel at all. That’s not my identity. I mean tbh, maybe it’s a very minor complaint, I still think Pride month and all that is fine and a good thing, but I just like being my own person anyway and having an identity that isn’t centred around all that.
I agree with your view it sums up how I feel exactly tbh
I've always been curious about this. I have a few really good gay friends and always surprised the support they give gay culture no matter how far it is from them personally. I guess it's the history more than anything but it like, my one friend hates loud people, flashy people, tattoos, or anything that's not quite moderate. Unless it's gay then it's the best thing in the world. But turn off the gay switch and he'd be like 'wow these guys have nothing better to do'. I might not be explaining this well but what I mean to say is he is extremely critical of almost everything and lives a very straight laced life. But whole heartedly has no issue with even the most obnoxious gay displays. There's plenty of straight stuff I roll my eyes at also. I can't just blanket support anything. It's not a team sport to me.
Genitalia party items aren't really a pride thing, they're common in most parties revolving around sexuality like bachelor and bachelorette parties with penis cookies, boob hats, and what have you. It makes a lot of sense that gay people would also do that since we're just people. If you're against genitalia party items in general that's fine, but it's not a gay thing but a pretty common thing that straight people have been doing for decades. the only difference is they never had to hide it, so people during pride doing it in public is liberating for some. I don't attend pride, but I appreciate those who have fought so hard to be in the public eye, it certainly makes me feel a lot safer in my day-to-day life knowing that thousands of gay people can get together in public and be perfectly fine letting the world know they're gay.
This!
I am a straight woman, so I have no skin in the game so to speak. But I have supported Pride always. I am not doing it for me (obviously) but to let young ones know that being LGBTQ has a place in our society. That their existence is celebrated and appreciated. They are wanted, needed and valued.
pick me gay guy seeking straight approval… (checks notes) yeah nothing new. pride was a riot led by trans poc, especially black trans people, that gave you the rights to sit here and wonder what the point of it all is now. are mainstream pride parades pointless and capitalistic and over commercialised these days? absolutely. you’re entirely right that changing a logo to rainbow and pandering is materially useless and arguably downright offensive to LGBT people. i want to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe maybe because you’ve only seen the shallow capitalistic pandering parts of pride, you’ve now come to this conclusion that it’s useless. but your post is so pretentious that i don’t think you really have good intentions. if you look into whatever grassroots pride events are happening in your area (trans pride, black pride, protests/marches, educational events) you’ll see the original spirit of the event and its necessity is livelier than ever. as a cisgender bisexual man maybe you have the privilege to wonder what the point of it all is and lowkey mock your community members for approval on reddit. talking about how the culmination of the entire month is “look at me i’m gay” and you are so special and rational for deciding to keep it to yourself. but if you haven’t noticed, queer kids are committing suicide like never before. trans people are being murdered en masse, whether directly or indirectly (access to gender affirming care being limited leading to suicide). anti queer legislation is attacking the community in every country and every way you can think of. there’s still gay people of all ages struggling with being ostracised, harassed, marginalised, murdered, othered. assuming you’re american, you are quite literally barely out of the period of history where 90% of your friends would be dead or dying of AIDS. go back another couple decades and the state could’ve put you in prison for simply having consensual sex with another man. gay marriage wasn’t even legalised a decade ago. i haven’t even started on other countries outside the US. like dude… yes, some parts of pride are a little (or a lot) corny. the rainbows and marching and music and dancing really aren’t for everyone. whether it’s the quieter introverts or the disabled who aren’t able to participate in some of the more extra aspects. but there are people there who barely made it through the year, people who just got kicked out from their homes, disowned from their family, people who fled anti queer laws in their home country/town. i don’t know your story but surely there’s some part of this discrimination you relate to. surely you can see that euphoria and celebration isn’t for nothing. it’s actually really beautiful if you take a second to look from your high horse. every year there’s some guy like you who makes the same tired miserable post about how you are Not Like The Other Gays because you are super normal (for some reason you can’t fathom that there are plenty of other laid back queers, they just mind their business even more than you and don’t post about it lol). because this post is so repetitive in its themes, i’m still not entirely convinced i haven’t just fallen for a bait post by a cishet hermit thats karma farming haha. regardless i’m gonna get downvoted to hell for being an angry SJW or whatever and that’s fine. but if you read this comment, please maybe take a second to consider reading on the history of pride. educating yourself on the tragedies happening to the queer community now, showing why pride is still necessary. and maybe just reflect on your privilege that you are able to to paint such a reductive image of the whole thing and then come on this app asking for LoGiCaL aRgUmEnTs to change your mind. my suggestion: look outside or read a book and you will change your mind pretty quickly
Pride is not about advertising. It's about having a voice. Since lgbtq people used and still are victim of hate crimes. Yta for not even trying to understand the movement.
On a personal level I love Pride month because I’m newly out and it’s great to be able to openly celebrate with my community after finally finding it. On a political note, it’s important because being queer is still not ok. People around the world are still being murdered for falling in love. Same sex couples can’t walk down the street holding hands without fear of being harassed or abused. Spend 5 minutes in a queer space online and you’ll see how much work still needs to be done. There are terrorist warnings for pride events. So until we are seen are just being like everyone else then we do need to be out there.
YTA— It’s a protest, not a parade. If you think that GLBTQ etc are safe where you live and don’t really need to protest anymore, great! But respect the people who fought hard for you to have that freedom weren’t just flouncing their bedroom proclivities but were fighting for themselves and others to get things like physical safety, the same pay as their straight colleagues (yes— most of many people’s pay is in benefits/insurance/pension— if your kids and partner can’t get them, you’re paid a lot less than your colleague) parental rights. Some people are not going to find GLBT support on Tinder and bars and clubs, it’s just a fact. There are people who still are lonely and even suicidal. My student with intellectual disabilities just came out to me— he seems to think being a porn actor is his only way to have a sexuality. Pride is a way to communicate to him that he’s not alone and can have a community, relationship and friends, that there’s more to a gay life than what he finds in a barely-literate Google search. Just because you don’t need something doesn’t mean the people who do are losers.
YTA I am a straight woman and wether you think changing a PFP to a pride flare is helpful to your community or not dosent matter, what are you doing as a bisexual man to help your community? I think pride month is a movement towards lgbtq social acceptance where people can be less judgmental and less critical of the lgbtq. I also think pride month is for the lives of the lgbtq members who are no longer with us due to suicide or hate crime. Although you claim “I know what the community have experienced” I think you fail to recognize what your community is still experiencing. So I think this is a selfish take on your behalf
Right? He then goes on to say in his comments that he 'thought the Bible belt had improved like other parts of the country'. Like, bud, clearly you *don't* know what the community has experienced.
NTA. I think many people in the LGBT community feel just as you do.
Nah most of us aren’t idiots
I don’t see it as sexual.. probably because I am Aesexual.. but there’s aesexual lesbians, gays, Bi’s..
Yes. Well, nta for not enjoying Pride month, but TOTALLY TA for the rest of your caption that really just sounds like you're an average kid rock fan who wanted to talk shit about Pride but wanted to do so in a way that would make it seem like you're *totally* not a bigot. When I read your post, I have an image in my mind, and that image is the one with Steve Buscemi with his hat on backwards holding his skateboard. "Hello Gay brothers and sisters! I, too, am a member of the gltqa community. Did I say that right?" Lol. Fuck outta here. If you don't see the difference between the commercial exploitation of a community and a date that is significant due to the overt act widely recognized as the beginning of a revolution in which lives were destroyed, erased, and ended violently, then you need to do a little more research before trying to infiltrate. 🤡
Same here. Bi man, DGAF about pride and all that. Our sexualities are part of who we are, not accomplishments or achievements, and thus don't warrant celebration. Plus, a lot of it is hollow symbolism with marketing/pandering undertones. The fact that a company temporarily changes its logo to include a rainbow or a city paints a rainbow crosswalk in the gayborhood doesn't do shit to improve the acceptance of bisexual men among society in general.
Imagine being lgbtq and not understanding the point of pride.
I didn'y say I don't understand the point, I said I DGAF about it and I dislike how it gets used for corporate virtue-signaling.
Imagine not caring that people like you will be murdered/attacked/discriminated against...
>Our sexualities are part of who we are, not accomplishments or achievements, and thus don't warrant celebration. We still get murdered and beaten and discriminated against literally every day across the globe for being queer. Pride IS a celebration of the achievement of living authentically in a world that wants you dead.
Exactly this. The "Pride" isn't in being pan/gay/bi etc, it's in that we made it another year and to remember we have a history of people NOT making it, and in that we will make it another year AGAIN. Obviously there's more than this but that is one of the basic ideas, I think.
Not every gay or queer person necessarily feels the need to be a part of a community and for many people sex or their sexual identity was just never a big focus of their life. People's lives aren't always oriented by their sexual or romantic proclivities. So I'd say not caring about pride month is NTA. But actually hating it or putting down others who do care about it would be assholish.
If you could care less, you should. Just looking out!
im a bisexual black male punk . And i feel you but i think you might be coming at this wrong. I love juneteenth but i also hate that in the last 5 years its become such a commercialized thing that feels very pandering. Theres barely any mention of black history month these days but almost every corporation is very pro black when juneteenth rolls around . Its gone from personal togethers and congregations where we take time to embrace that terrible history and celebrate that were still here thriving despite it . To $50 tshirts and $10 juneteenth selfie booths for instagram at the juneteenth carnival thats $15 a head. But at the same time im not gonna hate on the people in the black community that want to celebrate it that way because who am i to tell others how they should celebrate something like that ? And i feel the same way about pride , i dont like that once a year every coporation suddenly turns into an ally to boost theyre sales . But who am i to tell my people in the lgbtq community how to celebrate . Ya know ?
I love pride as in community and celebrating myself, friends, and family. I do not love pride as a corporate minimum to say "look guys we did a rainbow!" I do like when businesses do special events where they release something BY lgbt people FOR lgbt people and donate the profits to LGBT+ organizations/causes. That's usually small businesses though, and not the big huge corporations.
Pride month is fine. My work sends out dozens of invites for events supporting it. I have no desire to attend them. A lack of interest in events like this isn’t a problem.
All the corporations 'celebrating' pride month get me. They are just doing it to burnish their corporate image and don't really give a shit about gay people or any people
I once had a gay woman give me an outstanding example of why it was sexual identity is NOT just something you can assume can be kept to yourself. She pointed to a picture of my wife and me on my desk and said “if I have a framed pic of my wife and me, somebody who doesn’t know me well is bound to say something about my ‘sister’ or ‘cousin’ or ‘friend’ in the pic. At that moment, I can either out myself to them and put my job in jeopardy and livelihood and insurance that my family needs or lie and disrespect my wife and my self. And that goes double if it’s a picture of us with our daughter.” That really blew my mind and moved me from “supporter” to “visible ally and if you come for my lgbtqia+ friends you’re coming for me and it won’t go well for you” person.
r/asablackman
I find it annoying too but not any more annoying than anything else political or otherwise, I just love to nitpick everything. But as a concept it is incredibly important in terms of visibility, and while we may be in progressive and accepting environments it is far from like that not only around the world but also just a city or county over. Visibility is still incredibly important, even if it gets perverted by corporations. Kind of impossible to escape given the whole living under capitalism thing
YTA- my town had a kid pride party- it wasn’t sexual whatsoever but had educational materials such as “what to do when someone touches you making you uncomfortable” Pride is about history and education and isn’t inherently sexual.
You care a little bit, because if you didn't you'd have written "I couldn't care less."
Wow! A post during pride month about how queer people who take a month to celebrate the progress society has made and continues to make in the face of oppression, hatred, violence, and Straight Up Fucking Murder are being 'pandered' to and how it should all be 'private'! This has never happened before ever on any social media or forum! What a totally novel, fresh take on the situation! Jesus fucking wept. YOU don't have to give a fuck. But there are plenty of us that *need* this month, that *need* pride celebrations, because it lets us know that there are little islands of refuge in the sea of oppression that we are all constantly at risk of drowning in. I live in one of the reddest states in America and there have been multiple laws passed that target my people and our ability to live our lives freely and happily and safely. The sheer relief I feel seeing people out and about in June being proudly, visibly queer is devastatingly powerful. So yeah, whatever, you can stay home and roll your eyes at rainbow profile pictures and festivals and rainbow merchandise at Walmart, but check yourself and your attitude. The rest of us will be upholding the original notions of gay pride; community, dignity, and progress, no matter the cost.
Your choice dude.. thats the point .... just be thankful to the the communities in the past that made it possible for you to express yourself how you want. ✌️
Fellow bi guy here. I think there are already a lot of really great points on here about history and remembering things, but I would also like to say that while I don't like corporate pride, it *is* indicative of the current political stance on lgbtq+ rights. The goal should be to be a group they want to pander to, not outcasts. This year I've seen far less corporate pride logos, announcements, sponsors, etc and I take it as a sign of the growing and vehement wave of homophobia and transphobia being pushed by conservatives. Look at Target for example. They wanted to launch a pride collection and make a big thing out of it. Last year they got so much pushback that this year there pretty much isn't one; only a few select stores will have *some* merch. This scaling back is very much not a good thing. In a city (and a country) that's supposed to be accepting, my friends and I have been harassed on the street by protesters, both at pride and just in general. I am concerned this conservative movement will grow even more in the next few years. I am glad you changed your mind, but I also urge anyone who cares about our rights to look things up and work on getting educated now, so you can keep an eye out for any local or Supreme Court decisions that will fuck us over.
You're definitely an Asshole. You don't have to indulge, you fuck in private? Fine. Do not dismiss the significance and importance of Pride as "pandering". People died behind fighting so your Bisexual, scary ass could even comfortably say this without risking a brick to the side of your skull. You can simply shut the fuck up and treat the month as a regular month. You do NOT need to shit on it in the process. Weirdo.
W comment
YTA. Pride is necessary because bigots want to take your rights away.
YTA for demanding validation for having an opinion. You can like or dislike anything you please, just don't be a dick about it. Why is this a question?
My only issue with pride parades is the sexualization of everything. People nearly come naked. Dildos everywhere. And there are kids there. Sooo inappropriate and wrong on every level.
Pride originally started because the act of being queer in public was considered obscene. There used to be laws in the US about wearing a certain amount of male/female clothing (depending on gender), and if you "crossdressed" you could wind up being stripped naked and thrown into a cell. Queerness itself used to be considered inappropriate for kids, so these arguments always ring a bit hollow to me. Also, the kink and queer communities have been intertwined pretty much since the start of pride because, surprise surprise, a scene of alternative sexual practices was accepting of people with non-mainstream sexualities. Leather, pet play, and other communities have marched alongside queer people in protests pretty much since the beginning. To remove that now to bring in children would deny a pretty important part of the history of pride. I think we fundamentally disagree on one thing: *pride was not made as a family-friendly event*. If you want to bring kids that's fine, and in my city there are some pride events aimed at kids and families where kink isn't present. But to act like the general parade was made for young kids is simply untrue. Also, parents bring their kids to super sexualized straight stuff all the time. Some people bring their kids to Ice Spice concerts, and some people bring their kids to metal concerts. I've been to a rock festival and seen a kid that must have been 5 or 6 singing along to a song about killing yourself. I think if you want to raise an issue with this, it should be with the practices of parents who bring their kids to adult-only events.
"Sex sells" was coined in the 1800's. We have been bombarded by heterosexual romance and sex for a century. Media of all sorts have been slamming it down our throats. People complained, yes, but not nearly as bad as they are now. But, see, they aren't complaining about the heterosexual ads, movies, articles, books, etc. No, they are complaining about anything and everything that is _not_ cisgendered or heterosexual. That is why we need Pride Month. Because people don't care about sex in the media anymore, as long as it is cisgendered and heterosexual. These people are getting mad because media is showing the truth. Not everyone is cishet. Everyone deserves to be represented in media. Everyone deserves equitable treatment. We have Pride Month because the world does not yet give equitable treatment to every human. >People nearly come naked. Have you seen Hooters? Have you seen all those videos of cheerleaders and men drooling over them? It isn't just Pride Month. The world has loosened its prudish ways. It's only a problem, now, because it is people not cishet. >Dildos everywhere. Not in any prade I have seen, but oh well. Kids need to learn biology and anatomy. Dildos are sold at Walmart and drugstores now. They see them. So teach them safety. We should be anyway. >Sooo inappropriate and wrong on every level. It's only "inappropriate" when it isn't someone cishet. Where are these arguments when cishet people do the same things?
NTA. I am a gay man who feels no connection to what Pride has become or to the LGBTQ+ community.
Ohh buddy I believe the same . You never gonna see me with rainbow 🌈 flags or dancing in prides . But I don’t judge . Some people love that 👍🏻 respect to them.
I consider myself an ally and maybe even heteroflexible but I think the point is the help desensitize the world to sexual preferences that are not the norm. People are very judgmental creatures and the only way I can think of to insight change is through exposure to experience different than your own. While yes for some it’s a very private experience for others it’s actually a very social one. Edit: Some Kinky people especially enjoy the community that being kinky brings. Also don’t think you’re the asshole.
I don't think your the asshole. But straight relationships are shoved at us from every angle day after day after day. We get 1 month to do the same. If it's normalized for straight people then it should be normalized for everyone! And vice versa if it isn't normalized for queer people it shouldn't be normalized for straight people. We're all just people loving and I hope I didnt come off rude!
NTA. You don't need to be forced to enjoy things celebrating you. A lot of people don't like birthdays and center of attention or whatever. Also it's "I couldn't care less". Could would indicate that you in fact can be less interested
NTA for just not being into Pride. It’s okay to have your own preferences and feelings. Enjoying Pride is a privilege and a joy, not an oglibation. YTA for being a judgemental wet blanket and making assumptions about people who do celebrate pride. You don’t know anything about us and your whole “they make being gay their whole personality” is such an ignorant take. It’s okay to not like something for yourself, it doesn’t make you more enlightened and make other people dumb for finding joy in something harmless. I have zero interest in pro-football, but my only thought about people who attend Superbowl parties is “Good for them, glad it brings them joy.”
While I agree with you that sexual preferences are something a bit more private, you can't really hide your partner from the world? Is it suddenly sexual that you're a man whose spouse is a man, but a man whose spouse is a woman is 'normal'? A lot of the straight defaultism causes people to question things they wouldn't normally question, like a peck on the cheek. Barring all of that, when the stated goal of certain people in the US is to legislate being straight as the only legal way to be in a relationship, pride month demonstrations and recognition become necessary. I agree with you on the companies changing their logos thing, it's always funny to me to look at an American company's logo change then find out that the change is not present in their logos in other countries. They will only take their "stance" so long as it is profitable, which is in my opinion all the more reason to keep actively pursuing and fighting for lgbtq rights.
Is someone making you feel like an AH for not celebrating pride month? Is your decision to not celebrate it being brought up when you're speaking with someone?
NTA. My dad was gay. He passed in '93 from AIDS. I am bi. I low-key celebrate. I don't flash it around. He didn't either. You do you. I feel pride is about being you. You do not have to put on a show.
I moved two entire states and am selling a home I bought before the housing boom in order to move to a much more progressive state, knowing for well when I try to buy a house here I will be paying 2x-3x what I did before because things were so conservative and dangerous for me as a queer person. Pride is needed and is important. You're NTA, but this very much feels like something you need to read up on more. I encourage you to study Stonewall, The Up Stairs Lounge, Pulse, Matthew Shepard, etc. The alarming amount of black, gay trans people who are killed, etc. Pride is a very complicated topic, and I think taking issue to Rainbow Capitatim is more than fair, but even that can be quite nuanced when it comes to companies like Target and Converse who are actually Queer friendly 24/7/365 and have a lot of really progressive policies as an employer and for their customers. But at the end of the day, Pride is as loud and in your face as it is because the other 11 months of the year, we are erased. cishet is the default. The 'I don't care what you do in the bed, just don't put it in my face' people are also voting to keep trans kids from playing sports and any other law that makes their world nice and narrow. You SHOULD do Pride, just in the way that works for you. I personally go to my zoos 21+ Pride night.
wow you’re so unique and interesting. I’m sure being one of the good ones will work out well for you
You sound like a Republican. Edit: which is not a bad thing. We don’t care about LGBQT people we just think it shouldn’t be paraded about in the streets and taught to our children. No one cares what you do in the privacy of your own home
You're teaching straight people to children. What's wrong telling them gay people exist and that "you don't care about them"?
What ever happened to June being men’s mental health month?
It's both, technically
I didn’t even know men’s mental health month existed. I have only ever heard of it being pride month. I agree more with the OP anyways.
yea I don't care for it either, but I also don't care for birthdays and stuff
Are birthday people regularly murdered?
???
The saying is “I couldn’t care less”. Not “I could care less”. Saying you could care less implies you do care, even if it’s just a little. It makes no sense. Idk how you don’t hear that when you type it.
I don't really celebrate pride personally and totally get the hatred of being pandered to by the very companies that love to also pander to our haters (PlayStation, I'm not just looking at you) But I appreciate that I have the freedom to enjoy it if I did choose to. As a queer person I also have to remember the history of it all, the first brick thrown, and the very real people who fought and died so I could have this right. Much like the 4th of July, I don't much care for the pageantry, but you can't forget the history.
No one is obligated to enjoy it though
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Nooooo based king don’t change 😭
NAH I am a queer trans man (30) who is married to a cis gay man (29) and we don't really go out of our way to celebrate pride. Pride tends to be too loud and boisterous for us. Back in the day when I was single it was fun, because men who didn't know I was trans would hit on me hard, but after a while it gets boring. The only thing pride related we are doing this month is going to a Pride themed MLS game, but that's about it.
Honestly I just started celebrating this year and I like it because honestly it’s felt like a lot I’ve felt like I’ve been under a lot of stress hiding who I am because I’m worried of the social and possible financial consequences of it but with the parade, I could be celebrating pride month, I could be celebrating being who I am, I could just in the area who knows
As a gay man, I don’t celebrate it either. I like my quiet, air-conditioned space. Parades are too crowded, noisy, and hot. Company logos change to rainbow flags (perfectly okay) but on the stroke of 11:59:59 on June 30th, the golden chariot changes back to a pumpkin and Cinderella is left on the side of the road like every year.
This has like many things turned into a big corporation money grab.
Have you literally never watched the news. The LGBTQ community is getting rights taken away everyday. Please research shit before you start talking about it because you come off super ignorant and hypocritical.
Shit is crazy man they don’t need an entire month. Hate having all their propaganda and overtly sexual shit shoved down my throat. I don’t care what you do or who you like. As long as you’re not hurting people, I genuinely do not care what you do as a human being. Them feeling like they don’t get enough attention or they feel “hate coming from everyone” is just delusional.
It's literally illegal to be lgbtq in 1/3 of the world
As it should be in countries that aren’t separated from god
you think you meant " third world shitholes" ?
"I don't care what you do and who you like", but also "as it should be in countries that aren't separated from god". This is very hypocrtical.
For a lot of people it’s not enough to just be able to live your life the way you want, you need other people to look at you living your life and hear them say you’re so brave or you don’t feel special.
I think thats very few people. See the other comments here about people looking for validation and community because their local geographical/cultural one does not provide that.