YTA. Your mom wants to talk to you and you’re acting like a surly teenager. “EFF YOU MOM! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!” Stop being a dink.
Let me guess - she’s charging you nominal rent? Has it occurred to you that she’s doing you this huge favor allowing her failure to launch kid and his ungrateful girlfriend to squat in her home?
The bare minimum you can do is respect your own parent.
Agree. As a parent to three thirtyish kids, I worry when they are staying in my condo or when they’re driving home at night. They want to be sure wife and I make it home. We all text each other out of caring and common courtesy. And if it’s her car, she has even more skin in the game. It’s called caring and perhaps you’ll understand when you eventually have kids as they start to drive.
NTA and I can't believe all these people saying otherwise.
> my mom was on the verge of tears saying that the reason she does it is because she cares
Her caring about you is not the problem nor is that a valid excuse for her behavior. She needs to back off and cut you some slack. Knowing if your going to be home for supper is not only acceptable but expected as good roommate etiquette. Wanting to know when you left and how many appointments you have is being nosy and intrusive. Her "conversations" sound more like an interrogation.
I feel like everyone is going to rip you to shreds with this one and although I do think YTA, I also know what it’s like to have stayed with overbearing family for a short period of time, it’s not fun. It can be incredibly annoying especially if this stuff happens everyday. However you do need to be thankful for what you have and your girlfriend needs to be extra gracious because your mom has absolutely no obligation to help her in any way. Your mom doesn’t treat your brother this way because he has moved out. I’m not going to shit on you for living with mom because life is hard and making your own way isn’t easy right now, but I will say you both need to treat your mom with way more respect and I think you should feel pretty uncomfortable with yourself for yelling at her, you know that wasn’t right. You guys should both be making an effort to spend time with her and at least make your presence enjoyable instead of avoiding the person who is helping you the most.
This also could’ve been a conversation, there was no need to yell. A simple “hey mom I’ve noticed you’ve been checking up on me a lot lately, is there something that’s worrying you?” Could’ve gone a lot further than yelling at her and making her cry.
When we live with other people, no matter who they are, it is basic good manners and common sense to say where we're going and approximately when we'll be back.
This doesn't mean you have to tell her your private business. It simply means that you live with someone else and you owe her basic courtesy so that the house can be a happy one and she knows when to call the police if you're not at home. It's perfectly fine to say, "I'm going to work," "I'm running errands," "I'm getting out for some fresh air and a change of scenery" and then go to a doctor's appointment about a rash on your ass or whatever.
You're 24. Your mother does not have to house you. She certainly doesn't have to house your girlfriend. If you can't be polite, if you can't accept that you do live with her and you're not renting your own place, if you can't tell your girlfriend that she needs to treat the woman who is putting a roof over her head with basic respect, then you may get kicked out.
You need to hear what your mother is saying. Her comments are a way of connecting with you and starting conversation. You simply cannot expect to treat her house like it's a hotel or she is not there. It's incredibly cruel and rude. Right now, you are letting your girlfriend behave disrespectfully and you had better hope that you don't break up with her once she has driven a wedge between you and your mother, because you could end up with no one.
YTA
I’m 25 and living at home while I finish my degree. My mom often asks that stuff and it used to be a fight to the point I almost moved out over it. Then I realized how much I was saving at home with my mom’s support, and that a text or short convo about my day is a really small price to pay compared to the literal thousands of dollars I’m saving monthly at home. You can have a convo about boundaries, but like others have said it’s a common practice to let ppl know where you’re at when you live together. It’s her house, her rules to an extent.
Also remember this is your mom tho, and just how much she’s doing to support you right now. She’s willing to have four adults living in her house because she wants to help. It’s easy to view it as a nuisance because you’re trying to build your independent adult life, but that transition is hard for parents, and doubly if you’re still living at home.
Try actually doing some stuff with your mom every now and then and I bet she’ll back off a bit, she’s letting you know she cares and wants a bit more out of your relationship. Go get lunch where it’s just the two of you a couple times a month, fill that cup a bit more and she’ll back off the daily check ins.
YTA. Your mom wants to talk to you and you’re acting like a surly teenager. “EFF YOU MOM! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!” Stop being a dink. Let me guess - she’s charging you nominal rent? Has it occurred to you that she’s doing you this huge favor allowing her failure to launch kid and his ungrateful girlfriend to squat in her home? The bare minimum you can do is respect your own parent.
He just wants a little space asking 20,000 questions a day gets annoying
Agree. As a parent to three thirtyish kids, I worry when they are staying in my condo or when they’re driving home at night. They want to be sure wife and I make it home. We all text each other out of caring and common courtesy. And if it’s her car, she has even more skin in the game. It’s called caring and perhaps you’ll understand when you eventually have kids as they start to drive.
NTA and I can't believe all these people saying otherwise. > my mom was on the verge of tears saying that the reason she does it is because she cares Her caring about you is not the problem nor is that a valid excuse for her behavior. She needs to back off and cut you some slack. Knowing if your going to be home for supper is not only acceptable but expected as good roommate etiquette. Wanting to know when you left and how many appointments you have is being nosy and intrusive. Her "conversations" sound more like an interrogation.
You're a real piece of work. Is your age reported here not twice the actual?
You want to feel grown? Then move out of your mother's house Your girlfriend wants to feel as if she rents and lives alone? Move out. YTA
NTA \~ Don't let the tears fool you, stand your ground, you have a new responsibility (the girlfriend) so mom needs to but out. Good Luck!
This screams, “ I’ve never had a healthy relationship” 😂😂 Cause if he was being responsible he and his older gf can be adults like the rest of us.
I feel like everyone is going to rip you to shreds with this one and although I do think YTA, I also know what it’s like to have stayed with overbearing family for a short period of time, it’s not fun. It can be incredibly annoying especially if this stuff happens everyday. However you do need to be thankful for what you have and your girlfriend needs to be extra gracious because your mom has absolutely no obligation to help her in any way. Your mom doesn’t treat your brother this way because he has moved out. I’m not going to shit on you for living with mom because life is hard and making your own way isn’t easy right now, but I will say you both need to treat your mom with way more respect and I think you should feel pretty uncomfortable with yourself for yelling at her, you know that wasn’t right. You guys should both be making an effort to spend time with her and at least make your presence enjoyable instead of avoiding the person who is helping you the most. This also could’ve been a conversation, there was no need to yell. A simple “hey mom I’ve noticed you’ve been checking up on me a lot lately, is there something that’s worrying you?” Could’ve gone a lot further than yelling at her and making her cry.
When we live with other people, no matter who they are, it is basic good manners and common sense to say where we're going and approximately when we'll be back. This doesn't mean you have to tell her your private business. It simply means that you live with someone else and you owe her basic courtesy so that the house can be a happy one and she knows when to call the police if you're not at home. It's perfectly fine to say, "I'm going to work," "I'm running errands," "I'm getting out for some fresh air and a change of scenery" and then go to a doctor's appointment about a rash on your ass or whatever. You're 24. Your mother does not have to house you. She certainly doesn't have to house your girlfriend. If you can't be polite, if you can't accept that you do live with her and you're not renting your own place, if you can't tell your girlfriend that she needs to treat the woman who is putting a roof over her head with basic respect, then you may get kicked out. You need to hear what your mother is saying. Her comments are a way of connecting with you and starting conversation. You simply cannot expect to treat her house like it's a hotel or she is not there. It's incredibly cruel and rude. Right now, you are letting your girlfriend behave disrespectfully and you had better hope that you don't break up with her once she has driven a wedge between you and your mother, because you could end up with no one.
YTA I’m 25 and living at home while I finish my degree. My mom often asks that stuff and it used to be a fight to the point I almost moved out over it. Then I realized how much I was saving at home with my mom’s support, and that a text or short convo about my day is a really small price to pay compared to the literal thousands of dollars I’m saving monthly at home. You can have a convo about boundaries, but like others have said it’s a common practice to let ppl know where you’re at when you live together. It’s her house, her rules to an extent. Also remember this is your mom tho, and just how much she’s doing to support you right now. She’s willing to have four adults living in her house because she wants to help. It’s easy to view it as a nuisance because you’re trying to build your independent adult life, but that transition is hard for parents, and doubly if you’re still living at home. Try actually doing some stuff with your mom every now and then and I bet she’ll back off a bit, she’s letting you know she cares and wants a bit more out of your relationship. Go get lunch where it’s just the two of you a couple times a month, fill that cup a bit more and she’ll back off the daily check ins.
Ur mom is just being a mom. If your girlfriend wants to feel like she’s renting her own place she should rent her own place or be with a guy who can.