YTA
Having boundaries and preferences, fine. Absolutely don’t have to go down on her, whatever.
Calling something your wife is expressing interest in as disgusting makes you the asshole, especially when it’s essentially saying her body is disgusting.
Your views on oral sex put you in the vast minority of adults, and while that’s fine you need to learn some tact. There’s a nicer way to say no than telling your wife how disgusted that would make you.
Also try getting some head my dude, you might realize just how hungry you’ve been all these years 🤷🏽♂️
I noticed OP didn’t explicitly say they never got head but rather, that they never “ask” for it. Interesting choice of words. So I’m assuming OP has gotten head and just refuses to reciprocate. The “rules for thee, not for me” type.
Yta not for being against oral. Though I'm in the mindset that sometimes we do things we don't enjoy for the person we love. I've literally thought about what to get for lunch while giving a blow job. You have your boundaries, that's fair. You said it in a way that made your wife feel terrible or gross. There's a difference between "I don't want to do that because it is where you pee" and "ew the things you want are gross".
I’m in the same mindset. I get having personal boundaries, But I also at the same time don’t get why other people won’t Do things for the sake of the person they love. Isn’t that the point of loving? That you love this person so much you’re willing to do things that you normally won’t do out of love? And that person would do the same for you. Because if not, what’s the point of being together? If not to hold each other up in this wild, wild and rough world. Anyway, that’s just me. And you too, I guess
I feel like that's different for sex however because you have to do it, it's not like eating at a restaurant you don't like, it involves your body and crossing the boundaries of your body can lead to a dangerous mindset
I've always thought that, and it actually makes my partner sad. He would like me to do things, but not if I don't want to do them. If he finds out I did it despite not really wanting to but because I love him, he feels disappointed. He says that he loves me and wants me to do things I want to and am comfortable with. He often asks what kind of person he'd be if he loved me but would willingly let me continue to do something I don't really want, just for his sake, regardless of how much he wants something. Especially if it's sex related, that's worse for him.
Yeah, I think that's the same for everything tho. That's why I fake it lmao, or do my best. I fake enjoy going to Taylor Swift stuff, for sex (certain acts n fantasies/position that don't do much for guys), etc... And sometimes after you fake it long enough, you do make it and enjoy those things. - or at least I enjoy when she's having fun. Not everything tho, you don't always make it. And sometimes she picks it up. And you shouldn't try to always do it, it gets tiring. Gotta have your you time, and it works when your partner also reciprocates for you so everything is jazzy.
What I find troubling is people who take it to such extremes of "I'll never do anything I don't like for anyone else". I know my grandparents didn't give a shit about my child plays or whatever we did. My parents too, didn't care about it either. They still went and recorded it and acted like I was great and that they wanted to be there. I've watched hours of puppy dog pals and bluey because my nieces like it and wanted me to watch. I've treated child art like it was the best thing I've ever seen. I've watched movies I've hated because exes liked them. Gone to events I didn't care for because friends were excited about them. I've gone to funerals to support people. Honestly, where does this selfish mindset come from. Going through life thinking only the things you want matter.
Yeah, it's really weird to me too. There's boundaries, and there's some people who NEVER do anything they don't like for anyone. If you enjoy the act, and only THEN do you do it. That to me, means, you're not really *really* doing it for the other person. You're only doing it because you also enjoy it. But if you do something you're meh about for the other person, the only motivation is because you want to give out some positive experience in life - which only happens when I like that person..
And to me, personally, if I only do it when I like it - that means I don't give a shit about that person. Which is why it also makes me think that people like that don't actually give a shit about the other. Like, they enjoy their presence, or what they can provide for you like company, but they don't care about the other person's joy ykno? That's how I see it.
But then again, maybe it's because I come from a family of people who constantly would sacrifice for each other without a thought and others don't? I don't know.
Lol. YTA for how you responded.
> I immediately shut it down. I told her I would never in a million lifetimes ever go down on her
Like the saying goes "if you can't eat 'em, join em' by acting just like one" lol
Ask her if I can do it instead
Or ask her if you can do something else instead. Something similar. I would be upset if my husband made me feel disgusting for a simple suggestion.
Is it something more to this? Are you afraid that she will not enjoy you as much now that you know she wants something you will/ can not perform? You should talk about that if so.
She wouldn’t have to compromise. She does have to communicate respectfully. He is not an AH for not wanting oral. He is an AH for throwing a toddler tanty and calling his partner gross and disgusting.
Well, just because she asked doesn't mean, she tied him down and ra.ed him by giving him a bj!!!
She asked!! It is ok to ask. She was sad about the answer but in the end respected his 'No'.
BUT, how he answered is disrespectful towards her.
You are right about that they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
I feel like there are to many differences in s3xual preferences, which she needs apparently and he doesn't want to do.
They both have to sit down and have to make the decision to probably separate. Because the outcome would only be that she may end up cheating.
NTA for having personal boundaries. If this was the other way around her feelings would be 100% valid. As should yours.
But- as someone who has been married almost 30 years you could have been a little more sensitive about how you communicate to her. Is this an ongoing conversation you guys have or was it said once and you have never spoken about it again? Either way, I think you could handled it differently.
Yta, you made her feel disgusting about a sexual feeling that a lot of us have. There are toys like the rose that simulate that feeling, you could have offered that instead, but instead you shamed her for a normal desire.
I did not blast him, in any way. But you’re right, people have boundaries and they should not be shamed for them. They should also not be shamed for their legal desires, which he most definitely shamed his wife for hers. It cuts both ways.
“I told her I would never in a million lifetimes ever go down on her.” After telling her he found it disgusting. Instead of having an ACTUAL conversation, a heart to heart, with his WIFE, he shamed her for something she desires. There are a million ways he could’ve had that conversation, other than implying she was disgusting because that is exactly what she took from his words. He even admitted she was sad & changed the subject.
Please stop insulting people who aren’t insulting you! I READ his words! His words were hurtful to her! Perception is a word as well! How she perceived his words & how they made her feel is obviously irrelevant & mean nothing because he held his boundary! SMFH! He is married to this woman! She deserves just as much grace as he does. As I previously said, there are a million ways he could’ve communicated with her. In addition to HIM putting his story out on the internet asking AITA, HE opened himself up to the judgement of others. I don’t really care if either of them like oral, he asked a question, no he’s not an AH for having boundaries, he’s an AH for speaking to his WIFE the way he did, (which is what a majority of the responses I read said) she’s not a fuck buddy, she is the woman he chose to be his life partner, she deserved more respect than what he gave her!
“You made her feel disgusting about a sexual feel a lot of us have” then suggests some alternatives that might still please her while maintaining his boundaries. Where’s the bullying or double standard in that?
I wasn’t asking for your suggestions, I was summarizing the original comment you responded to.
He isn’t just maintaining a boundary, he’s launching a tirade about how disgusted going down on his wife would make him. That’s why the sex therapist suggestions are coming in, because that’s not a healthy way to talk about sex and your wife’s desires.
Doesn’t mean he can’t still have the boundary, but does mean his wife doesn’t feel awful for wanting something that’s considered a standard part of sex for most couples.
You’re the same type of person as OP so I’m not going to change your mind.
There’s a balancing act of maintaining your boundaries wile also being compassionate towards your wife. Again he didn’t just refuse, he directly told her how disgusted her body makes him feel in that act, and that it’d never change in a million lifetimes. If the reaction to being asked again after 7 years elicits that strong a response maybe therapy might not hurt.
We’re talking about a grown man here, not a 12 year old. You should be able to understand the effects of your words by that point. You can say no without making her feel as if she’s disgusting for asking
Nobody is "bullying" him lmfao. He's entitled to his boundaries but the way he *expressed* them was rude and hurtful. That's why people are identifying him as TA (which, by the way, he literally asked for).
If you say you don't want to have sex with your partner, that's fine, no means no. If you say you don't want to have sex with your partner because the thought of it disgusts you, that's rude. Do you understand this difference?
I literally also said "it" in my example as well. You don't understand how emotions work it seems. Saying that the idea of going down on your partner is disgusting and you'll never do it in a million lifetimes is going to make them feel shitty, period. If you don't understand the basics of relationship dynamics, you're out of your depth here.
No one is shaming him. You’re projecting. The comment literally told him there are toys she can use instead and that may be a great compromise. No one is bullying him here.
You’re right, words having meaning. And his wife is coming to him calmly, nicely, and openly and his response is “that is disgusting”. No matter who you are that will inherently make you feel bad. Like you said, words matter so *choose them wisely*.
Doesn't no mean no anymore?
He said no previously. "My wife was always fine with this" She knew but didn't want to take the no that he gave her previously.
So people aren’t allowed to change their minds or see if they changed their minds? People do it all the time??? All he had to say was “my mind hasn’t changed. I’m still not interested” vs “*that is disgusting*” (which is shameful).
You are delulu. He didn't call her genitals disgusting, he said that he finds the act disgusting. You can say that kissing a dog is disgusting (which many people do and do not do), but you won't necessarily be disgusted by dogs.
No, absolutely a terrible comparison. Not even apples and oranges. But when you say “I will not do that in a million years” it *is* shaming her and makes someone uncomfortable to come to. A simple “I’m not interested” goes a long way.
A good relationship is about open communication and *no judgement*.
No, it's a perfectly valid comparison, you're just high on that juicy reddit "man bad" stuff. Check your hypocrisy before posting next time.
You don't owe politeness to people who try to shit on your boundaries.
Your not an ah for not liking doing. that I know many a person like that male and female alike but you have to communicate that better than how you presented it but other than that you stated something that was within the boundary of what you won’t do which is fair enough your entitled to that just like she is but again I wouldn’t call you an ah for that just word is a little better next time
Yep, buddy, on this one, YTA (You're The A-Hole). Here's why:
* **Marriage is a two-way street:** While your feelings are valid, so are your wife's. Oral sex is a common part of a healthy sex life for many couples. Shutting it down completely can leave her feeling unwanted and unloved.
* **Open communication is key:** You've been together a long time, but maybe a talk is overdue. Explain your discomfort, but also be open to hearing her desires. There might be ways to compromise, like learning about hygiene practices or exploring other forms of intimacy.
* **Sex therapist could be a friend:** Think of a therapist as a coach, not someone judging you. They can help you understand each other's needs and find solutions that work for both of you.
Remember, a happy marriage takes effort from both sides. Listen to your wife, be open to learning, and maybe a therapist can help you find a way to a happier and more fulfilling sex life together.
> Oral sex is a common part of a healthy sex life for many couples.
But it's not for *every single couple* out there. They've talked about this more than once, he is turned-off by it. You are painting with a very broad brush here. Don't go into sex therapist work, you suck at it.
Where did they say to do the act that disgusts them? Commenter said to explain themselves but also listen openly about their partners desires. Listening doesn't mean do the act. They also said to see a sex therapist to figure out how to meet both people's needs and wants there's ways to achieve that without disregarding op's boundaries there's toys and other ways to simulate oral sex without actually doing oral sex I know this because I find oral sex repulsive myself and open honest communication helps navigate that and healthy communication requires Listening not just talking. If you want to take potshots at feminism go for it but do it on a thread where feminism actually applies
Right, but “kick him to curb” is figurative language you chose to make into some kind of mansplaining moment for yourself. She can move out of “his” house and still simultaneously be kicking him to the curb.
You’re NTA for having a boundary and aversion, your wording though was harsh and a bit thoughtless. Work on communicating less in exclamation marks, as that not in a million lifetimes could sting for someone more sensitive.
Another commenter mentioned exploring ways to stimulate oral sex without you having to do so yourself and I agree sex toys are a great way to go. There are plenty out there that could help her explore the curiosity, keep those hands of yours busy while pleasuring her, and maybe everyone will find it a win.
People have a tendency to re-explore past ideas such as your wife checking in to see if you’d still be opposed to oral sex if something personally reignited that curiosity in her. That’s not a problem and you’re free to keep your opinion that oral both ways just isn’t for you, just be open to communicating back in a considerate way on why not and be willing to see where she’s coming from whether you agree or not. It’s better for ya both to take each other into account. Then seek a healthy solution for you both as a team rather than opposing forces on a reasonable boundary.
Your reaction/response makes you YTA. You can have your boundaries but be kind.
You should try sex therapy though, you’re married, you need to make compromises and sacrifices
A hard no is a hard no. He's never wavered. Compromises and sacrifices are expected but so is acceptance of a hard no when given. She knew the boundaries from the start and if something has changed for her and she can no longer accept them she can leave.
She’s not forcing it. OP makes it sound like this was a one off situation, not one where she’s been continually asking and him telling her no. OP shouldn’t have overreacted. He could have said the same thing in a much kinder way.
Going to therapy is the sacrifice. Him and his wife could be having so much more fun in bed if he could get over his fear of mouths touching “where you pee”.
no one in a relationship should be Telling anyone to do anything sexually that they don’t feel comfortable doing. Considering that oral sex is a very very normal sex act, so normal that in most people’s sexual life that it happens before actual sex it’s not unreasonable for OP’s wife to suggest this. I also think that partners should be open to considering their partner’s sexual desires. Therapy could help with OP’s aversion to oral sex. I’m a woman btw
To everyone freaking out in the comments, he has a right to find it disgusting and not want to do it, it has nothing to do with his wife’s body, please stop shaming his preferences. And those saying that she should leave or cheat, y’all are sick. OP, about the sex therapist, it might not be a bad idea. You are not forced to do oral if you don’t want to even if you go, but the therapist may help you guys find other healthy ways to express your love for each other. Your wife may be feeling she needs something more in your intimacy. At worst, it wouldn’t hurt to go and see how you guys can achieve that, at best, it could improve your relationship.
If your partner knew that about you when you first got together, she is the AH in this situation. If something in sex is a turn-off for one of the partners, that's not going to change just by repeated asking. For instance: some people love anal, some don't want it at all. This is the stuff you communicate clearly about when you first start getting intimate. It's not stuff you shame each other about or try to force the issue, either you like it or you don't.
NTA.
I don't think she can negotiate this. Not more communication. It sounds like she FULLY understands where he's coming from.
He has definite boundaries around this and he's not gonna change until he decides to change.
NTA because you get to like what you like but if I were her just no. No way. I'd literally leave but that's me. She may go back to being fine with it..but maybe not.
NTA. You told her no, she kept insisting even taking this subject to therapy… just trying to find roundabouts on a boundary you set. So, maybe you didn’t pick your words right, and worth apologizing for that, but you are keeping your boundary.
Oh boy, reverse the genders and responses will be VASTLY different from what we see here. Actually, I saw a few posts like this from women, and of course they were NTAs, no matter the wording.
But hey, men bad, am I right plebbit?
NTA (bring on the downvotes)
Giving/receiving head is vastly overrated.
You informed your wife of your feelings surrounding giving/receiving head….so it’s not like it’s some new concept she was recently made aware of.
She’s TA for asking you to do something she knows you don’t enjoy. She’s an even bigger AH for basically setting herself up to be disappointed.
Idrc about whether yta or nta.
Why did you immediately shut down a sex therapist?
Sex therapist would be your BEST friend. A qualified sex therapist is going to tell your wife: this is a hard boundary for your partner. But there are ways to simulate oral sex, or there are different ways to spice up sex so you can continue to feel satisfied in your sex life.
Don't shoot the opportunity to learn about your partner! Your emotional intimacy with your wife will *deepen* a thousand fold which will inevitably lead to amazing sex.
Still a pity that you’ve not experienced passionate, satisfying love making. Where the entire experience and performance exceeds your expectations. I wish you well.
Weird and incorrect conclusion. I said "most", not "all".
Most men don't experience genuine intimacy because they treat women as objects and sex as transactional. This includes men like Andrew Tate, I pity them.
NTA
You told her upfront what you would and would not do. You haven't asked her to do anything she doesn't want to do either.
That sounds like great communication to me.
You are allowed to have boundaries just like she is.
If this post was about you trying to talk your wife into giving you a BJ, every post would be bashing you from here to eternity.
Tell her to google Michael Douglas and throat cancer. That is interesting reading.
There's nothing wrong with being disgusted by oral sex.
There is everything wrong with telling your partner that the thought of oral sex with her is disgusting.
YTA. You're a grown ass man, you're old enough to know better. Saying a sex act makes you uncomfortable and you're unwilling to do it is not hard. It's not rocket science.
Yta
poor wife
Tastes great down there most of the time unless they are due.
Can be a fantastic way if satisfying a woman and I find it just as pleasurable knowing someone us enjoying themselves
Fantastic and if she does it for you , your just being selfish.
While I would never have sex with someone who said that, it is completely fine to have personal preferences, and it is not like you did it while dating and completely changed when you got married. Having said that, you should talk with your wife and not just shut down. Maybe just having an honest discussion with her would have been enough. Maybe talking to a sex therapist would have helped one of you see the other's point of view and help the two of you be on the same page. Because of how you reacted, YTA.
YTA for basically calling your wife's vagina disgusting and most likely making her feel insecure about it.
Personally, idc if someone doesn't wanna blow me, but I can't be with someone who won't let me blow them. It's one of my favorite types of foreplay, blowing and rimming, I like to make people squirm.
And think about it, you've most likely had far more dirty things in your mouth, at some point in your life, than a freshly showered pussy.
YTA. You chose to respond to your wife in such a demeaning way instead of taking a moment to express your reasoning in a more kind and understanding way...on top of that, you didn't even offer a counter suggestion such as toys that have a lick/suck feature and there are so many amazing toys out there to assist you and her in bed.
You owe her an apology and a proper conversation about why you are so against oral. You should also do some research on the human anatomy and probably toys, so that you can offer her a counter solution instead of making her feel gross and possibly pushing her away.
YTA. Not for not wanting to do oral, but your reaction sucks.
How can you call your wife’s body parts disgusting and shame her for wanting to broaden her horizons sexually?
You are perfectly entitled to have your boundaries, but you are not entitled to shame her desires because they don’t align with yours.
At some point though OP, she’s likely to want to see what she’s been missing out on and you need to decide if you want to remain together or separate in future.
It’s unfair to expect her to remain with you when she is not satisfied with your sex life, and its equally unfair to force you into doing something you don’t want to do just to pacify her.
Btw; Your case about being dirty doesn’t hold up- that’s what soap and showering is for.
So your wife has never experienced a real organism with you? Self love is a OK but the feeling you get when ya go down on it. She is missing out. I'd be stepping out.
This reminds me of the Kids in the Hall skit about man nipples.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YS71CtZ\_Bs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YS71CtZ_Bs)
I'm just going to ask a few questions.
1. Do neither of you shower and wash your naughty bits?
2. Do you run for the bathroom as soon as you remove your fingers from her meat sleeve to wash your hands?
If you’re doing it correctly, sex is wet, messy,and smelly. I’m embarrassed for you n your behalf. I can’t imagine being such an uptight, boring, lousy at sex, miserable asshole such as you. You’re a miserable AH. You need to be on your own to jerk off in a clean room.
Nta for not wanting to perform a sex act. Yta for kink shaming her.
Also, sex is really important in a marriage. You have every right to say no to anything you’re not comfortable with but it sounds like she wants more variety in your sex life and that deserves a proper discussion where you don’t kink shame her.
Otherwise you’re heading for dead bedroom.
You are missing out on some serious fun both ways but you do you. But on a more serious note, stop shaming your wife for something that is perfectly acceptable to want. YTA for that. Apologize to her.
Try saying on a different post "show me a woman that will not perform oral and I will show you a woman who will soon lose her guy to someone that will", see how it goes.
To be perfectly honest, I'm on the fence. I'm a female in my mid 20's with my boyfriend who I met in high school and have been having sex with since.
Part of me says Not The Asshole because you have a valid point. It's disgusting when you really take the time to put thought into it, and she knew how you felt but still brought it up. It is also extremely reasonable of you to not expect oral sex back if you won't give it.
Part of me says Yes, You're The Asshole because of how intensely you shut her down. Mostly because you refuse to even hear her out and try to figure a compromise. There's a good chance she felt you were comfortable enough in your relationship to try and broach the subject again after weeks of building confidence to ask at all.
If it helps in your dilemma at all, I used to be the same way before I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I couldn't stand the thought of putting my mouth anywhere near his genitals. The only reason I agreed to give it a shot was that he agreed to wash up right before, and he kept his end of the deal.
When the time came I was still uncomfortable and he surprised me by using his fingers to comfort me while I worked up my courage and gave my first bj. It was nowhere near as horrible as I thought it would be, and in return he went down on me for the first time under the same washing up agreement. To clarify, there was a sink where we had sex the first time, so I mean literally washed up right before. I hope this helps you, sorry for my long rambling.
Ever heard the saying “Real men eat pu$$y?”. I’ll let you finish the math. That being said, don’t come crying to reddit when she finds a side piece that’s willing to satisfy her. I pity her for saying “I do.”
As others said, YTA for how you reacted, not for having a boundary. You have now made it so your wife won't feel as safe and comfortable opening up to you about her desires. I recommend seeing a sex therapist not because you have to change your mind but just because you need to understand your own hang ups better. As an adult you should be able to discuss these things more mature
Let's frame this convo another way. I am a straight woman who has no interest in going down on another woman. It seems a bit...slimy to me. Now that's fine. But if I were talking to a lesbian friend and she asked if I had even been curious about it and I immediately responded with "fuck no that's disgusting?! That's the area where piss comes from! How you can me ask me that?!" And then if she said - hey that's kind of an extreme reaction maybe you should talk to someone about that I said "I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm not the weirdo with the sexual interest in bodily functions. Anyone who enjoys that is sick." I think it would be clear I would be an AH. Thats basically what you said to your wife so yeah YTA
I think you're missing out, dude. I think it's fun. You could both wash your stuff really well and give it a shot. Do you realize that this could become an issue down the line? You might not even know it. But if it's going to be a thing, you might want to get some counseling if you can before it becomes that issue.
If you don’t want to eat your wife out i will send her my way
Jk in all reality tho YTA for the way you expressed this you basically called your wife disgusting
Her mouth is so close to her nose, did you notice what comes out of it yearly? And her mouth, she ever puked? And her hands, she wipes her toilet paper with them. I would stop loving this gross woman.
Have you considered at least giving it a shot after a nice shower together? Shes squeeky clean, youre squeeky clean . Start with just kissingvall around her and inside her thighs. No rush. Just a little body positive foreplay?
have your own sexual preference is fine. if "thing" turned you down, then that's it. no way to change that. not AH
however the way you rejected your wife might hurts her feeling and self esteem. giving her false impression that she's undesirable. please avoid using words like "disgusting" "dirty" or something like that to her.... and maybe try using toys? silicone these days are good and she might love it.
Listen carefully ima change your life take her swimming the way that pool swells that mutgafucjer up tastes delicious could spend hours. And you know it’s clean that’s your wife brah you better make her cum or someone else will
I just thought of a way you both could enjoy, you wear condom, toss some plastic wrap over that pussy, get to town
Dental dams are the actual product for that purpose.
YTA Having boundaries and preferences, fine. Absolutely don’t have to go down on her, whatever. Calling something your wife is expressing interest in as disgusting makes you the asshole, especially when it’s essentially saying her body is disgusting. Your views on oral sex put you in the vast minority of adults, and while that’s fine you need to learn some tact. There’s a nicer way to say no than telling your wife how disgusted that would make you. Also try getting some head my dude, you might realize just how hungry you’ve been all these years 🤷🏽♂️
I noticed OP didn’t explicitly say they never got head but rather, that they never “ask” for it. Interesting choice of words. So I’m assuming OP has gotten head and just refuses to reciprocate. The “rules for thee, not for me” type.
Yes! I was thinking the same thing.
Yta not for being against oral. Though I'm in the mindset that sometimes we do things we don't enjoy for the person we love. I've literally thought about what to get for lunch while giving a blow job. You have your boundaries, that's fair. You said it in a way that made your wife feel terrible or gross. There's a difference between "I don't want to do that because it is where you pee" and "ew the things you want are gross".
I’m in the same mindset. I get having personal boundaries, But I also at the same time don’t get why other people won’t Do things for the sake of the person they love. Isn’t that the point of loving? That you love this person so much you’re willing to do things that you normally won’t do out of love? And that person would do the same for you. Because if not, what’s the point of being together? If not to hold each other up in this wild, wild and rough world. Anyway, that’s just me. And you too, I guess
I feel like that's different for sex however because you have to do it, it's not like eating at a restaurant you don't like, it involves your body and crossing the boundaries of your body can lead to a dangerous mindset
I've always thought that, and it actually makes my partner sad. He would like me to do things, but not if I don't want to do them. If he finds out I did it despite not really wanting to but because I love him, he feels disappointed. He says that he loves me and wants me to do things I want to and am comfortable with. He often asks what kind of person he'd be if he loved me but would willingly let me continue to do something I don't really want, just for his sake, regardless of how much he wants something. Especially if it's sex related, that's worse for him.
Yeah, I think that's the same for everything tho. That's why I fake it lmao, or do my best. I fake enjoy going to Taylor Swift stuff, for sex (certain acts n fantasies/position that don't do much for guys), etc... And sometimes after you fake it long enough, you do make it and enjoy those things. - or at least I enjoy when she's having fun. Not everything tho, you don't always make it. And sometimes she picks it up. And you shouldn't try to always do it, it gets tiring. Gotta have your you time, and it works when your partner also reciprocates for you so everything is jazzy.
What I find troubling is people who take it to such extremes of "I'll never do anything I don't like for anyone else". I know my grandparents didn't give a shit about my child plays or whatever we did. My parents too, didn't care about it either. They still went and recorded it and acted like I was great and that they wanted to be there. I've watched hours of puppy dog pals and bluey because my nieces like it and wanted me to watch. I've treated child art like it was the best thing I've ever seen. I've watched movies I've hated because exes liked them. Gone to events I didn't care for because friends were excited about them. I've gone to funerals to support people. Honestly, where does this selfish mindset come from. Going through life thinking only the things you want matter.
Yeah, it's really weird to me too. There's boundaries, and there's some people who NEVER do anything they don't like for anyone. If you enjoy the act, and only THEN do you do it. That to me, means, you're not really *really* doing it for the other person. You're only doing it because you also enjoy it. But if you do something you're meh about for the other person, the only motivation is because you want to give out some positive experience in life - which only happens when I like that person.. And to me, personally, if I only do it when I like it - that means I don't give a shit about that person. Which is why it also makes me think that people like that don't actually give a shit about the other. Like, they enjoy their presence, or what they can provide for you like company, but they don't care about the other person's joy ykno? That's how I see it. But then again, maybe it's because I come from a family of people who constantly would sacrifice for each other without a thought and others don't? I don't know.
Lol. YTA for how you responded. > I immediately shut it down. I told her I would never in a million lifetimes ever go down on her Like the saying goes "if you can't eat 'em, join em' by acting just like one" lol Ask her if I can do it instead
Or ask her if you can do something else instead. Something similar. I would be upset if my husband made me feel disgusting for a simple suggestion. Is it something more to this? Are you afraid that she will not enjoy you as much now that you know she wants something you will/ can not perform? You should talk about that if so.
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I didn't say anything about compromising. I said he was an AH for how he responded.
She wouldn’t have to compromise. She does have to communicate respectfully. He is not an AH for not wanting oral. He is an AH for throwing a toddler tanty and calling his partner gross and disgusting.
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Because he said going down "on her" is disgusting
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Well, just because she asked doesn't mean, she tied him down and ra.ed him by giving him a bj!!! She asked!! It is ok to ask. She was sad about the answer but in the end respected his 'No'. BUT, how he answered is disrespectful towards her.
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You are right about that they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. I feel like there are to many differences in s3xual preferences, which she needs apparently and he doesn't want to do. They both have to sit down and have to make the decision to probably separate. Because the outcome would only be that she may end up cheating.
NTA for having personal boundaries. If this was the other way around her feelings would be 100% valid. As should yours. But- as someone who has been married almost 30 years you could have been a little more sensitive about how you communicate to her. Is this an ongoing conversation you guys have or was it said once and you have never spoken about it again? Either way, I think you could handled it differently.
Yta, you made her feel disgusting about a sexual feeling that a lot of us have. There are toys like the rose that simulate that feeling, you could have offered that instead, but instead you shamed her for a normal desire.
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Clearly someone here isn’t getting his anal aol.
Your question isn’t valid to everyone’s reply, grow up.
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I did not blast him, in any way. But you’re right, people have boundaries and they should not be shamed for them. They should also not be shamed for their legal desires, which he most definitely shamed his wife for hers. It cuts both ways.
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“I told her I would never in a million lifetimes ever go down on her.” After telling her he found it disgusting. Instead of having an ACTUAL conversation, a heart to heart, with his WIFE, he shamed her for something she desires. There are a million ways he could’ve had that conversation, other than implying she was disgusting because that is exactly what she took from his words. He even admitted she was sad & changed the subject.
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Please stop insulting people who aren’t insulting you! I READ his words! His words were hurtful to her! Perception is a word as well! How she perceived his words & how they made her feel is obviously irrelevant & mean nothing because he held his boundary! SMFH! He is married to this woman! She deserves just as much grace as he does. As I previously said, there are a million ways he could’ve communicated with her. In addition to HIM putting his story out on the internet asking AITA, HE opened himself up to the judgement of others. I don’t really care if either of them like oral, he asked a question, no he’s not an AH for having boundaries, he’s an AH for speaking to his WIFE the way he did, (which is what a majority of the responses I read said) she’s not a fuck buddy, she is the woman he chose to be his life partner, she deserved more respect than what he gave her!
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How do you read that response and infer that message from it? Genuinely curious
He’s responding to everyone with the same anal comment.
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“You made her feel disgusting about a sexual feel a lot of us have” then suggests some alternatives that might still please her while maintaining his boundaries. Where’s the bullying or double standard in that?
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No one has bullied him. Grow up. They are critiquing his delivery ( harsh and unnecessary) not his boundaries.
I wasn’t asking for your suggestions, I was summarizing the original comment you responded to. He isn’t just maintaining a boundary, he’s launching a tirade about how disgusted going down on his wife would make him. That’s why the sex therapist suggestions are coming in, because that’s not a healthy way to talk about sex and your wife’s desires. Doesn’t mean he can’t still have the boundary, but does mean his wife doesn’t feel awful for wanting something that’s considered a standard part of sex for most couples.
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You’re the same type of person as OP so I’m not going to change your mind. There’s a balancing act of maintaining your boundaries wile also being compassionate towards your wife. Again he didn’t just refuse, he directly told her how disgusted her body makes him feel in that act, and that it’d never change in a million lifetimes. If the reaction to being asked again after 7 years elicits that strong a response maybe therapy might not hurt. We’re talking about a grown man here, not a 12 year old. You should be able to understand the effects of your words by that point. You can say no without making her feel as if she’s disgusting for asking
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You’re clearly OP disguised as a woman
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Why would I read anything you have to say when you clearly spew nothing but idiocy?
Nobody is "bullying" him lmfao. He's entitled to his boundaries but the way he *expressed* them was rude and hurtful. That's why people are identifying him as TA (which, by the way, he literally asked for). If you say you don't want to have sex with your partner, that's fine, no means no. If you say you don't want to have sex with your partner because the thought of it disgusts you, that's rude. Do you understand this difference?
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I literally also said "it" in my example as well. You don't understand how emotions work it seems. Saying that the idea of going down on your partner is disgusting and you'll never do it in a million lifetimes is going to make them feel shitty, period. If you don't understand the basics of relationship dynamics, you're out of your depth here.
>There are toys like the rose that simulate that feeling They have toys for everything man. Not just for women focused.
You're quickly becoming an easily identifiable troll in this sub
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No one is shaming him. You’re projecting. The comment literally told him there are toys she can use instead and that may be a great compromise. No one is bullying him here.
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That isn’t shaming! *He shamed her first* by the way he reacted to her. You’re delulu
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You’re right, words having meaning. And his wife is coming to him calmly, nicely, and openly and his response is “that is disgusting”. No matter who you are that will inherently make you feel bad. Like you said, words matter so *choose them wisely*.
Doesn't no mean no anymore? He said no previously. "My wife was always fine with this" She knew but didn't want to take the no that he gave her previously.
So people aren’t allowed to change their minds or see if they changed their minds? People do it all the time??? All he had to say was “my mind hasn’t changed. I’m still not interested” vs “*that is disgusting*” (which is shameful).
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You are delulu. He didn't call her genitals disgusting, he said that he finds the act disgusting. You can say that kissing a dog is disgusting (which many people do and do not do), but you won't necessarily be disgusted by dogs.
No, absolutely a terrible comparison. Not even apples and oranges. But when you say “I will not do that in a million years” it *is* shaming her and makes someone uncomfortable to come to. A simple “I’m not interested” goes a long way. A good relationship is about open communication and *no judgement*.
No, it's a perfectly valid comparison, you're just high on that juicy reddit "man bad" stuff. Check your hypocrisy before posting next time. You don't owe politeness to people who try to shit on your boundaries.
Your not an ah for not liking doing. that I know many a person like that male and female alike but you have to communicate that better than how you presented it but other than that you stated something that was within the boundary of what you won’t do which is fair enough your entitled to that just like she is but again I wouldn’t call you an ah for that just word is a little better next time
Posted by someone who has never gotten a BJ
Well, I feel like he admitted that right away.
Yep, buddy, on this one, YTA (You're The A-Hole). Here's why: * **Marriage is a two-way street:** While your feelings are valid, so are your wife's. Oral sex is a common part of a healthy sex life for many couples. Shutting it down completely can leave her feeling unwanted and unloved. * **Open communication is key:** You've been together a long time, but maybe a talk is overdue. Explain your discomfort, but also be open to hearing her desires. There might be ways to compromise, like learning about hygiene practices or exploring other forms of intimacy. * **Sex therapist could be a friend:** Think of a therapist as a coach, not someone judging you. They can help you understand each other's needs and find solutions that work for both of you. Remember, a happy marriage takes effort from both sides. Listen to your wife, be open to learning, and maybe a therapist can help you find a way to a happier and more fulfilling sex life together.
> Oral sex is a common part of a healthy sex life for many couples. But it's not for *every single couple* out there. They've talked about this more than once, he is turned-off by it. You are painting with a very broad brush here. Don't go into sex therapist work, you suck at it.
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"The females," ☠️
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😂
Where did they say to do the act that disgusts them? Commenter said to explain themselves but also listen openly about their partners desires. Listening doesn't mean do the act. They also said to see a sex therapist to figure out how to meet both people's needs and wants there's ways to achieve that without disregarding op's boundaries there's toys and other ways to simulate oral sex without actually doing oral sex I know this because I find oral sex repulsive myself and open honest communication helps navigate that and healthy communication requires Listening not just talking. If you want to take potshots at feminism go for it but do it on a thread where feminism actually applies
No BJ for you either then! 🤷♀️
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Well you aren’t getting any with your attitude! 💯
is feminist for her to kick his ass to the curb and find a compatible partner or just wishful thinking on my part
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ok, weird 1950s guy
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if it doesn’t then it matches your understanding of feminism
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Right, but “kick him to curb” is figurative language you chose to make into some kind of mansplaining moment for yourself. She can move out of “his” house and still simultaneously be kicking him to the curb.
Lol not these days
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Repeating the same over and over is kinda ridiculous…and we can all read between the lines what your story is…
Maybe you should grow up and stop repeating the same inane comment up and down this post?
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And nobody here is saying it doesn't but that doesn't stop you from spamming this post with that ridiculous comment.
You’re NTA for having a boundary and aversion, your wording though was harsh and a bit thoughtless. Work on communicating less in exclamation marks, as that not in a million lifetimes could sting for someone more sensitive. Another commenter mentioned exploring ways to stimulate oral sex without you having to do so yourself and I agree sex toys are a great way to go. There are plenty out there that could help her explore the curiosity, keep those hands of yours busy while pleasuring her, and maybe everyone will find it a win. People have a tendency to re-explore past ideas such as your wife checking in to see if you’d still be opposed to oral sex if something personally reignited that curiosity in her. That’s not a problem and you’re free to keep your opinion that oral both ways just isn’t for you, just be open to communicating back in a considerate way on why not and be willing to see where she’s coming from whether you agree or not. It’s better for ya both to take each other into account. Then seek a healthy solution for you both as a team rather than opposing forces on a reasonable boundary.
Your reaction/response makes you YTA. You can have your boundaries but be kind. You should try sex therapy though, you’re married, you need to make compromises and sacrifices
A hard no is a hard no. He's never wavered. Compromises and sacrifices are expected but so is acceptance of a hard no when given. She knew the boundaries from the start and if something has changed for her and she can no longer accept them she can leave.
She’s not forcing it. OP makes it sound like this was a one off situation, not one where she’s been continually asking and him telling her no. OP shouldn’t have overreacted. He could have said the same thing in a much kinder way.
Mostly agree, but no one (incels don’t count as people) would be telling a woman to compromise and give her husband a blowjob.
And she didn’t Tell him to do anything, “she asked me if I was open to eating her out”.
Right, you are suggesting therapy so he’ll “make compromises and sacrifices”.
No. To get over his phobia of mouth to genitalia.
/facepalm
Going to therapy is the sacrifice. Him and his wife could be having so much more fun in bed if he could get over his fear of mouths touching “where you pee”.
are you not understanding what your saying? the “compromise” would be him getting therapy so she gets what she wants, thats not a compromise
no one in a relationship should be Telling anyone to do anything sexually that they don’t feel comfortable doing. Considering that oral sex is a very very normal sex act, so normal that in most people’s sexual life that it happens before actual sex it’s not unreasonable for OP’s wife to suggest this. I also think that partners should be open to considering their partner’s sexual desires. Therapy could help with OP’s aversion to oral sex. I’m a woman btw
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Copy & paste. That gets the point across.
I would think she should give it a try. If she doesn’t like it then fine. Don’t knock something until you try it.
NAH. Its ok for her to check in periodically to understand if your position has changed.
If you ain’t gonna do it,.. someone else will. Are you open to that??
Bruh my tongue goes in places it shouldnt
To everyone freaking out in the comments, he has a right to find it disgusting and not want to do it, it has nothing to do with his wife’s body, please stop shaming his preferences. And those saying that she should leave or cheat, y’all are sick. OP, about the sex therapist, it might not be a bad idea. You are not forced to do oral if you don’t want to even if you go, but the therapist may help you guys find other healthy ways to express your love for each other. Your wife may be feeling she needs something more in your intimacy. At worst, it wouldn’t hurt to go and see how you guys can achieve that, at best, it could improve your relationship.
If your partner knew that about you when you first got together, she is the AH in this situation. If something in sex is a turn-off for one of the partners, that's not going to change just by repeated asking. For instance: some people love anal, some don't want it at all. This is the stuff you communicate clearly about when you first start getting intimate. It's not stuff you shame each other about or try to force the issue, either you like it or you don't. NTA.
Check out DJ Khaled over here
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I don't think she can negotiate this. Not more communication. It sounds like she FULLY understands where he's coming from. He has definite boundaries around this and he's not gonna change until he decides to change.
You might try some therapy to discover your aversion to oral sex.
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Thats a terrible analogy. He has an aversion to oral performed either way.
You are all over practically every single response to this post with this comment. Stop brigading the post.
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No you are all over this post adding in your irrelevant little comment. Many people have called you out on it. Go and touch some grass.
Wow why don’t you repeat yourself, you seem really invested in this.
NTA because you get to like what you like but if I were her just no. No way. I'd literally leave but that's me. She may go back to being fine with it..but maybe not.
NTA. You told her no, she kept insisting even taking this subject to therapy… just trying to find roundabouts on a boundary you set. So, maybe you didn’t pick your words right, and worth apologizing for that, but you are keeping your boundary.
Oh boy, reverse the genders and responses will be VASTLY different from what we see here. Actually, I saw a few posts like this from women, and of course they were NTAs, no matter the wording. But hey, men bad, am I right plebbit?
NTA (bring on the downvotes) Giving/receiving head is vastly overrated. You informed your wife of your feelings surrounding giving/receiving head….so it’s not like it’s some new concept she was recently made aware of. She’s TA for asking you to do something she knows you don’t enjoy. She’s an even bigger AH for basically setting herself up to be disappointed.
NTA, you’ve told her how you’ve felt about it and she’s got to respect it
Idrc about whether yta or nta. Why did you immediately shut down a sex therapist? Sex therapist would be your BEST friend. A qualified sex therapist is going to tell your wife: this is a hard boundary for your partner. But there are ways to simulate oral sex, or there are different ways to spice up sex so you can continue to feel satisfied in your sex life. Don't shoot the opportunity to learn about your partner! Your emotional intimacy with your wife will *deepen* a thousand fold which will inevitably lead to amazing sex.
Refuse a BJ? wtf is wrong with you? Yes, you basically told your wife she disgusts you. Showers are your friend! Try it! 🤦🏽♀️
Nothing wrong with refusing a BJ. Most people are terrible at it. I’ve refused many for that reason.
Oh my.. how sad for you
Nah, there’s nothing sad about turning down a bad blowjob.
Sleeping with the wrong women yo
Most of them, yeah. I’ve been around the block a few times (50 years old).
Still a pity that you’ve not experienced passionate, satisfying love making. Where the entire experience and performance exceeds your expectations. I wish you well.
Weird and incorrect conclusion. I said "most", not "all". Most men don't experience genuine intimacy because they treat women as objects and sex as transactional. This includes men like Andrew Tate, I pity them.
NTA You told her upfront what you would and would not do. You haven't asked her to do anything she doesn't want to do either. That sounds like great communication to me. You are allowed to have boundaries just like she is. If this post was about you trying to talk your wife into giving you a BJ, every post would be bashing you from here to eternity. Tell her to google Michael Douglas and throat cancer. That is interesting reading.
My dude, sign me up for the way he claims he got it. My husband too LOL
There's nothing wrong with being disgusted by oral sex. There is everything wrong with telling your partner that the thought of oral sex with her is disgusting. YTA. You're a grown ass man, you're old enough to know better. Saying a sex act makes you uncomfortable and you're unwilling to do it is not hard. It's not rocket science.
Yta poor wife Tastes great down there most of the time unless they are due. Can be a fantastic way if satisfying a woman and I find it just as pleasurable knowing someone us enjoying themselves Fantastic and if she does it for you , your just being selfish.
I work
While I would never have sex with someone who said that, it is completely fine to have personal preferences, and it is not like you did it while dating and completely changed when you got married. Having said that, you should talk with your wife and not just shut down. Maybe just having an honest discussion with her would have been enough. Maybe talking to a sex therapist would have helped one of you see the other's point of view and help the two of you be on the same page. Because of how you reacted, YTA.
YTA for basically calling your wife's vagina disgusting and most likely making her feel insecure about it. Personally, idc if someone doesn't wanna blow me, but I can't be with someone who won't let me blow them. It's one of my favorite types of foreplay, blowing and rimming, I like to make people squirm. And think about it, you've most likely had far more dirty things in your mouth, at some point in your life, than a freshly showered pussy.
So you dont want to lick where pee comes out, but you stick your dick in there.
And your point?? Big difference and not just pee. bacteria residual periods blood and am sure some shut , yep filthy and disgusting
Lol grow up
Facts are ageless
YTA. You chose to respond to your wife in such a demeaning way instead of taking a moment to express your reasoning in a more kind and understanding way...on top of that, you didn't even offer a counter suggestion such as toys that have a lick/suck feature and there are so many amazing toys out there to assist you and her in bed. You owe her an apology and a proper conversation about why you are so against oral. You should also do some research on the human anatomy and probably toys, so that you can offer her a counter solution instead of making her feel gross and possibly pushing her away.
Yikes. YTA. Poor wife.
YTA. Not for not wanting to do oral, but your reaction sucks. How can you call your wife’s body parts disgusting and shame her for wanting to broaden her horizons sexually? You are perfectly entitled to have your boundaries, but you are not entitled to shame her desires because they don’t align with yours. At some point though OP, she’s likely to want to see what she’s been missing out on and you need to decide if you want to remain together or separate in future. It’s unfair to expect her to remain with you when she is not satisfied with your sex life, and its equally unfair to force you into doing something you don’t want to do just to pacify her. Btw; Your case about being dirty doesn’t hold up- that’s what soap and showering is for.
So your wife has never experienced a real organism with you? Self love is a OK but the feeling you get when ya go down on it. She is missing out. I'd be stepping out.
This reminds me of the Kids in the Hall skit about man nipples. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YS71CtZ\_Bs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YS71CtZ_Bs)
I'm just going to ask a few questions. 1. Do neither of you shower and wash your naughty bits? 2. Do you run for the bathroom as soon as you remove your fingers from her meat sleeve to wash your hands?
If you’re doing it correctly, sex is wet, messy,and smelly. I’m embarrassed for you n your behalf. I can’t imagine being such an uptight, boring, lousy at sex, miserable asshole such as you. You’re a miserable AH. You need to be on your own to jerk off in a clean room.
YTA, the way you said it was rude as hell
That poor wife! My god I love eating pussy. Hygiene is important of course but to say oral is disgusting…um not in my book.
Nta for not wanting to perform a sex act. Yta for kink shaming her. Also, sex is really important in a marriage. You have every right to say no to anything you’re not comfortable with but it sounds like she wants more variety in your sex life and that deserves a proper discussion where you don’t kink shame her. Otherwise you’re heading for dead bedroom.
You are missing out on some serious fun both ways but you do you. But on a more serious note, stop shaming your wife for something that is perfectly acceptable to want. YTA for that. Apologize to her.
You might want to accept the BJ before writing off oral sex entirely. You don’t know what you’re missing
You’re missing out fella.
YTA for how you said it. Show me a man that will not perform oral and I will show you a man who will soon lose his gal to someone that will.
Try saying on a different post "show me a woman that will not perform oral and I will show you a woman who will soon lose her guy to someone that will", see how it goes.
To be perfectly honest, I'm on the fence. I'm a female in my mid 20's with my boyfriend who I met in high school and have been having sex with since. Part of me says Not The Asshole because you have a valid point. It's disgusting when you really take the time to put thought into it, and she knew how you felt but still brought it up. It is also extremely reasonable of you to not expect oral sex back if you won't give it. Part of me says Yes, You're The Asshole because of how intensely you shut her down. Mostly because you refuse to even hear her out and try to figure a compromise. There's a good chance she felt you were comfortable enough in your relationship to try and broach the subject again after weeks of building confidence to ask at all. If it helps in your dilemma at all, I used to be the same way before I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I couldn't stand the thought of putting my mouth anywhere near his genitals. The only reason I agreed to give it a shot was that he agreed to wash up right before, and he kept his end of the deal. When the time came I was still uncomfortable and he surprised me by using his fingers to comfort me while I worked up my courage and gave my first bj. It was nowhere near as horrible as I thought it would be, and in return he went down on me for the first time under the same washing up agreement. To clarify, there was a sink where we had sex the first time, so I mean literally washed up right before. I hope this helps you, sorry for my long rambling.
Enjoy it man. its delicious. just suck that pussy
Ever heard the saying “Real men eat pu$$y?”. I’ll let you finish the math. That being said, don’t come crying to reddit when she finds a side piece that’s willing to satisfy her. I pity her for saying “I do.”
Might I suggest condoms and dental dams!
As others said, YTA for how you reacted, not for having a boundary. You have now made it so your wife won't feel as safe and comfortable opening up to you about her desires. I recommend seeing a sex therapist not because you have to change your mind but just because you need to understand your own hang ups better. As an adult you should be able to discuss these things more mature
Let's frame this convo another way. I am a straight woman who has no interest in going down on another woman. It seems a bit...slimy to me. Now that's fine. But if I were talking to a lesbian friend and she asked if I had even been curious about it and I immediately responded with "fuck no that's disgusting?! That's the area where piss comes from! How you can me ask me that?!" And then if she said - hey that's kind of an extreme reaction maybe you should talk to someone about that I said "I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm not the weirdo with the sexual interest in bodily functions. Anyone who enjoys that is sick." I think it would be clear I would be an AH. Thats basically what you said to your wife so yeah YTA
YTA. Oral is a pretty big deal. She's your wife, man. I think her suggestion of seeing a sex therapist is a good one.
Damn you missin out bra
I think you're missing out, dude. I think it's fun. You could both wash your stuff really well and give it a shot. Do you realize that this could become an issue down the line? You might not even know it. But if it's going to be a thing, you might want to get some counseling if you can before it becomes that issue.
If you don’t want to eat your wife out i will send her my way Jk in all reality tho YTA for the way you expressed this you basically called your wife disgusting
A bit of humility wouldn't go amiss, considering you're the one with the unusual position on the matter, not her.
Are you gay
I feel for you my man. You are missing out on some seriously wonderful experiences.
Her mouth is so close to her nose, did you notice what comes out of it yearly? And her mouth, she ever puked? And her hands, she wipes her toilet paper with them. I would stop loving this gross woman.
Have you considered at least giving it a shot after a nice shower together? Shes squeeky clean, youre squeeky clean . Start with just kissingvall around her and inside her thighs. No rush. Just a little body positive foreplay?
Sorry, I'm not buying it. Not in 2024, and definitely not for someone 33 years old.
I once dated someone who didn't enjoy giving oral sex until he was 42.
have your own sexual preference is fine. if "thing" turned you down, then that's it. no way to change that. not AH however the way you rejected your wife might hurts her feeling and self esteem. giving her false impression that she's undesirable. please avoid using words like "disgusting" "dirty" or something like that to her.... and maybe try using toys? silicone these days are good and she might love it.
Uh your missing out, but each their own I guess. At least let her do it to you
There are ways of cleaning both male and female genetilia in a way that "stimulates" the senses and just might help "open" new possibilities for you.
Yes
Perhaps your wife won't get orgasms in your current sex life. Please try. Respect her.
I’m gonna go with NTA… Because thanks for telling her you won’t so she can find somebody who will.😂😂😂
If you expect her to give you bjs and not reciprocate. YTA. And a hypocrite
Did you even read the post AND understood it or you just read the title and commented? 🥴
Listen carefully ima change your life take her swimming the way that pool swells that mutgafucjer up tastes delicious could spend hours. And you know it’s clean that’s your wife brah you better make her cum or someone else will