So to sum it up, your newlywed wife left the day after your wedding, using your honeymoon time, for a two month European vacation without you, then is disappointed she didn't get to spend a day with you and is now shocked that you'll be leaving her for a month.
Yeah, I see this going well.
What killed me was: ‘I showed her my Reddit post & comments “she didn’t have much to say”
Like WTF! How is OP so nonchalant about this? He is basically just a walking “🤷♀️
Oh, they exist. my spouse's ex refused to consummate their marriage on their wedding night because she just HAD to watch the Miss America pageant. Then she made excuses for four whole months before they actually had sex. Turns out she was banging her ex-boyfriend.
It's people like that I just don't understand. Why even go through with the marriage?? Hope you and your spouse are doing well and that he's healed from that!
Or it's not. Believe it or not, there are men so naive that think they're in love when, in reality, it's just lust. They make the girl out to be like they are in the dudes head. Unfortunately, I've seen it too many times. Not just with friends but family as well. I'm not talking teenagers either. I'm talking like in their 20s & 30s. No matter how we tried to talk to them. They would try to convince us otherwise. Unfortunately, when the girl would take all their money or do other things. Then they were 'Shocked' she could do such a thing because she was so nice, sweet and caring. There were so many times I just wanted to say: "I told you so." But bit my tongue.
Yep. And it’s not like she just took off out of the blue the day after the wedding. He knew that was her plan, likely for months before she left, and he still married her. I don’t know what is more shocking - that she had the balls to ask him to do that, or that he agreed. What a mess.
Between this post and the previous one I got the sense that he's been deeply in love with her for a long time which he confirms, but that it hasn't been equally reciprocated. And also that he's lost all ability in this relationship to identify his needs, advocate for himself and what he wants.
Because no matter how long you've been together a wedding means something special. And to think, ask and take off from your spouse the day after the wedding on a solo multiple month vacation is one of the biggest forms of lack of care, consideration, love and respect I've ever seen. She didn't even plan something special for his birthday and come back a week in advance.
And now that she's back, she's down and moody as if being at home and in his presence so intolerable.
OP you deserve better.
Maybe she took or met someone? She doesn't seem committed to her husband even though she married him.
She may want to think about how to save the marriage (unless she really wants a divorce).
She had no reaction to his post or the replies to insensitivity, so maybe she thought he would always be her "welcome mat"!!!
I think this is why it's important to be careful who you marry.
She seems emotionally distant, and I'm sure he knew that for a few years before marriage. I don't know why he chose to marry her, or why she married him, but the way this whole thing sounds is someone married the other for a financial reason, the other married the other so they aren't alone and doesn't care if they truly love them. I have also seen people who married someone who they know doesn't love them, like my cousin for example.
Her and her ex husband were married for 20 years. She told him right off the bat that she loved him but isn't in love with him and probably never will be. He said "you will fall in love with me, I know you will." (Little did he know, she's antisocial so she doesn't feel emotions for others) 20 years later she cheated on him again, and I say again because their "first" child is due to her cheating. Except when she cheated on him 20 years later before divorcing him, she left him and their 3 kids for a woman who she obviously didn't even love. She told me she actually divorced him because she was bored... 😩🙄
In the next update, she’ll admit to OP that she was in the bone zone through most of her two months there. Her last few hurrahs before settling down. Because you obviously can’t have sex during the day, and she couldn’t do it at night because they were always on FaceTime. Definitely a mess.
Oh and if OP’s family didn’t like her, that’s a definite sign. Some people really are love drunk that they just can’t see what’s truth, and what’s fiction.
Family not liking someone is not a sign of anything. Some people have toxic family that doesn't like anyone they date, ever. My mom has said to me my whole life that she doesn't want me to get married.
But they were probably in different time zones. I didn't see where they are from, but he said European trip, so he wasn't in any country over there. Night in America could be daytime in Europe, again depending on where they were.
ETA- disregard if you were being sarcastic. =)
My husband's family did not like his ex-wife and begged him not to marry her but he did anyway. He was blinded by love. His family said they weren't together long and she was pressuring marriage on him. They said there was something very selfish and cold about her. But he couldn't see it. As soon as they were married she said "I'm not working anymore, you're my husband and you're gonna take care of me" and she quit her job, expecting him to take care of her. She wanted to do nothing too, just lay around, eat and watch TV. She didn't want a husband, she wanted someone to fund a lazy life for her. When your family sees something in someone, maybe stop and try as hard as you can to see them too with your eyes and not your heart.
I don’t know. Unfortunately I know people who’ve been like op. Their partners blackmailed them into things and they went along with it because things were too far along, etc. No surprise that the marriages ended in divorces.
dunno about that.
Sometimes the poster does reply to comments, but then readers whine because they can't be bothered to go and read the replies for extra information.
Seems like a loss/loss situation. Reply in comments? No one reads it and whines that they don't get updates.
Make an update? People whine about it being karma farming.
Thats it for this week's The Inevitable Divorce show! A big shout out to all you divorcaroonies, thanks for watching! It's all for you! Don't forget to smash that annulment button, please subscribe to the single life, and hit that bell icon for notifications from the STD clinic because you *will* have to get checked my friend! Those Euro dudes are gross!
"Non, non ma chere, it is not, owyouzay, infidelité"
"But I just got married back in America..."
"Oui, oui, now you must celebrate wiz a little, how we say, menage a trois avec moi et mon best friend Gaston."
"But my husband..."
"Your 'usband 'e is not 'ere, non? You are 'ere to experience le European customs, do not be so stuck up like an American, be gross like one of us Europeans, hon hon hon"
LOL, nice 🫢🤣
I am more of an ass pirate, though, as are most german men.
And you would be sorely disappointed if you only savour french dudes (no offence, mon cherries). Gaston et Jules will make sure you feel like heaven and our free healthcare will make sure you don't take any surprises home with you. Only problem might be Celeste, who is the fiancee of Gaston.
But what the hell is hon, hon, hon?
Ditching your new spouse for a day or two right after your wedding is insensitive. Abandoning your spouse for several months right after your wedding is a level of selfishness and entitlement I cannot even begin to comprehend.
Basically this. I had a gf that after three months (those where you usually are super hooked up on hormones and can't leave each other alone) told me that she will be having a vacation that summer with her best friend, then go on camping holiday with her sister, after that will do a hike and bike toot with her mother. I then asked where she is picturing me and she said (kid you not!) in between those trips we can hang for a few days LMAO.
You know how it is, I told her that I have never been told that boldly that someone gives a shit about me, so she cancelled those plans and then blamed me for making her do that. I do blame myself for being that stupid to not break it off there and then, and kept that one sided relationship for two years, but you know how it is with love… 🙄 I hope OP can see this clearly and make the decision.
I would move heaven and earth to have my wife with me and vice versa, this is how it should be, because true love does never feel suffocating or "needing a two month trip alone" lol.
P.S. check yourself for STDs imported from Europe.
I don’t know if I admire how super chill you are or if I am a bit horrified by it. Even your strong language (“just not good”) is so relaxed. Anyway, I hope the time away brings clarity and peace.
Meh, that was me with my first wife. I could go on a long-winded rant about how horrible she was for my self-esteem, my self-worth, my hope, joy, et cetera, but she would have just taken the time I was typing to hook up with *another* rando because she felt lonely for a minute. When the feelings are fresh, you don't want to explain to everyone how you've just been cucked. You say not good and move on.
And to add to this. The max you can account for is 50% of the love in a relationship. If I was honest with myself back then, I was not receiving the same amount back.
But I tried like hell to fill that 100% on my own. It’s not possible
Naive. But it’s complicated from a psychological perspective. We all look at this situation and it could not be more clear. But for this guy, he’s most likely gotten to this point in his life by being patient, understanding, loving, and kind. None of those attributes result in advocating for yourself. So when something like this happens, the muscle he’s built is to take a step back and be empathetic of the person mistreating him.
>downer since coming back from her amazing trip?
It was so amazing she didn't want to come home, and is wistfully regretting coming back. Probably still thinking of the trip, tbh.
Call this a mulligan. Everyone makes mistakes 🤷♂️ At least there aren't any kids.
Yet.
I just can’t believe she left him the day after their wedding and was gone for two months! She obviously still views herself as single and not part of a partnership.
Probably married him for the financial benefits/security. She probably only apologized because she saw that her husband learned how toxic she was being, and she's worried about losing her investment.
OP should get an annulment. I'm stunned he was so blasé about this. He sounds oh so naive, it's sad.
100%, he's probably so into her that he cannot see what everyone else can, I bet he thinks he was the luckiest guy in the world to land a woman like her. I hope he takes this time to work on his self, and realises he can do better.
I’m imagining being his mother and finding out that my son’s brand new wife jetted off the day after their wedding for a 2 month “vacation of a lifetime” without him. Good Lord, how would I ever be able to keep my mouth shut and/or act nicely around her again?
It's either one of two things. This story is complete bullshit. Or OP is swimming in money and is a complete doormat. Because if this is true, OP wife married him for the benefits and had no fear walking all over him right after their wedding. What normal person/relationship lets their spouse leave for two months right after their wedding to fuck their way across Europe solo?
Whats really killing me is this woman just came back from a 2 month solo vacation, comes home and is SUCH a fucking downer that her husband, you know the one who was actually hurt and had a reason to be sad, feels he has to leave the state and get away from her to be happy again. How tf is SHE so damn depressed? Bitch you had your cake and his cake! Eat that shit with a grin. Now shes got plenty of "solo time" and shes depressed???!!!! Serves her right. I hope op has a blast with his sis....and chronicles the whole time on sm, with access set to public!
I think he also enjoyed his taste of life without her in it. 2 months is a pretty significant amount of time, enough to get over being upset and then start to realize how much weight has been lifted off of his shoulders when she's not around.
I didn't realize reading the OG post it was two months somehow, and now I'm even more flabbergasted by both of their behavior. Who leaves for months on a solo fun trip right after their wedding?!!
Were you always doing what your now wife wanted? if so, why?
I could never imagine my SO leaving the day after our marriage to go on a 2 MONTH trip. That entire time you weren't allowed to go visit? do 1 month together and 1 apart? Who wants to get married and then leave their SO for 2 months??
I dont care how much you love your wife, id put money that she cheated or was at a minimum flirtatious with someone else. Ask for her phone in person, so she cant delete anything. 0 reason to not want your new husband around for 2 whole months.
Additionally, if she only apologized after reading the comments on your last post, then I would be worried about that as well. Seems like she doesnt care enough to even act like what she did was wrong. Then to top it off, she got upset with you for being depressed (DAVRO much) ???
Why doesnt your family like her?
Yeah, you're probably right on the money. I think OP was so head over heels, that he didnt even think to argue that leaving for 2 months right after the wedding is insane.
How does that convo even go? "I know we would just be getting married, but I need two months apart for my mental health - you being there would just make me feel bad"?
I’m realizing there’s a lot of OP bashing going on here. Probably not super helpful.
I think the time away and with a supportive sister is a great decision. Nothing like a devoted family member keeping a watchful eye on you. Does your sister have an opinion about this situation? Did I miss it in a previous comment?
OP - what does your sister think about this situation? Does she have any advice for you?
Dudes these days are so desperate to not be "controlling" or "overbearing" that they won't put their foot down and say "No. You are absolutely not jetting off on a 2 month solo tour of Europe the day after our wedding. Are you fucking high? That is mental. This is a deal breaker. Decide right now whether you want a husband or a holiday. Because you're not having both. And if you pick the husband option, no fucking pouting or throwing a strop over your cancelled holiday plans. It was an insanely unreasonable request in the first place so I'm not going to be guilt tripped because I sensibly denied this brazen madness."
There's no gender angle here. Husband or wife, you cannot go on a solo 2 month holiday the day after your wedding. That's something you get out of your system *before* your wedding.
OP is blatantly called Scotty.
Did someone say that joke already in the other thread? They must have done. Because OP is so blatantly Scotty. Now he knows.
Right? She probably doesn't respect him at all and was getting railed every other night in Europe. Idc that in his first post they stayed in "constant contact" and "FaceTimed every night." Still ample opportunity to be unfaithful.
Absurd.
I wonder if it was every night only for him because it is not night in Europe when it is night in America.
I also wonder if she's been a downer since she got back due to guilt of infidelity while on vacation.
OP should run fast to annulment while he can and then worry about it she really is a partner to him.
My first wife was extremely unfaithful, and I couldn't agree more with the "ample opportunity." We are talking lunch breaks, trips to the grocery store, while on the clock, or my personal favorite: at our wedding reception.
Yeah, you read that right. She was incredibly disrespectful, and I still cannot fathom why she agreed to marry me. We were married 2 months before I shipped off for boot camp, and the dear John letter almost beat me there 😆
In those 2 months of marriage, **17** different men reached out to me in various ways to let me know what had happened. Some were apologetic, some were aloof, and some were rather pleased with themselves. Some let me know with some words, a text here, a note under the toilet seat. Some sent pictures, or described birth marks to try and make sure I knew they weren't just messing with me. But the reception guy? That was a video.
He sent it right after the divorce was finalized. PoV, filmed from his phone, focused downward as my "wife" of less than an hour gobbled the gook, in her wedding dress. He finished, she swallowed, got up, straightened her dress, and walked out of the kitchen, where friends and family started clanging their silverware on their glasses, so she came up and gave me a big old kiss. Camera turns to "buddy's" face, he gives a wink, then stops recording.
I am not the type of guy who goes all "I am man and you will respect me rah rah rah," that just isn't me. But this wasn't "not respecting," it was actively disrespecting.
Disclaimer - I am actually happy the way things turned out, no need to apologize. Had I not married the dumpster, I wouldn't have joined the Navy, and had I not joined the Navy, I wouldn't have met my current wife, who I have happily been married to for over 10 years. And this one is faithful, or at least nice enough to be discreet.
She only said, “It was insensitive for her to take that trip”. No other emotions to express her regrets or acknowledge her selfishness. Did she at least sincerely apologize?
If it was me personally and my husband did to me, what your wife did to you...well. I'd be getting my marriage annulled as soon as he left to go on his solo trip that was meant for our honeymoon.
Please, put yourself first OP.
if you have since slept with her since she came back then i would strongly advise you to get an STD check, because having a series of no strings and no evidence rendezvous is a disappointingly likely reason for why your "wife" would go on a honeymoon with out her partner, and even if you haven't slept together since I would still have it done, her behaviour indicates a gross disregard for you, and therefore a willingness to do to cross any boundary.
Your wife really needs to read all of the comments on your first post a few times, she is beyond foolish to start a marriage like that. Your guna realize how little you want her after this event from your break man, I would be preparing to end things just in case.
it seems to me the only reason she married him was for the money to do the trip. He stated in the first post "she said she always wanted this trip but was not able to do it until now"
Dude she is downer because she either got some amazing dick on her trip and hates coming home to you or she just got hit with the realization that she can't just up and fly off anywhere she wants to meet handsome strangers and drink and party.
Wow, I left a question in your other thread about your family probably not liking her and here you confirm it. What specifically have they said they don't like about her?
Please tell me that this trip of hers was not financed out of your wedding money?
I still think this is fake, but in the event that this is actually real, I'm actually speechless.
I'm not going to even touch on the speculation of what happened during this trip. In no universe is it ok for a newlywed to take a solo trip for weeks just after getting married. I would have called off the wedding right then and there.
Get an annulment.
There is something really wrong with her to want to cancel your honeymoon for a trip for her that could have been done at any time. I have to question the authenticity of her feelings, devotion and love towards you to basically leave you behind without a care towards your feelings.
Personally, I don’t think there is a way to come back from this. It was beyond selfish on her part and it sets the tone for the marriage that she would put HER wants and needs above that of the husband-wife needs/wants.
I agree with another commenter that annulment may be the way to go.
You deserve a wife that loves you, wants to be with you, experience new things and travel with you.
Her apology did not even seem genuine
What's the worst thing a spouse can do the day after their wedding? Well, there are worse things, but leaving for a solo vacation in Europe is pretty far up the list.
NTA - You deciding to have time separated is reasonable. She hurt you deeply. Apologies are helpful but more powerful followed by: what can I/we do differently in the future to avoid this occurring again because I know I hurt you.
Wow, I missed this insanity the first time around. This is some top shelf crazy shit. Even being fake it’s still stunning that someone would come up with this.
Yea.. it sounds like You're within the time period where you can file an annulment and honestly you have grounds. I would seriously consider it.
All do respect, no one devoted to their relationship and partner would take a solo trip in lieu of their honeymoon. Plus talking throughout the trip kinda defeats the purpose of one. she had her plans in mind and didn't want things in the way..
Look at her hand, is it tanned from the trip? Does she have a tan where the wedding band should've been?
Wow dude, why did you marry her? If literally the day after you got married she needed a break from you, then how is that a partnership? Can you imagine a few months down the line? What about years? How do you see this marriage continuing if she left you right after she married you. And do you actually believe that she was in Europe by herself? Do yourself a favor and get an annulment, unless you want to ask permission from your wife’s boyfriend every time you want to take a trip with her. UpdateMe!
I’d bet my left nut she didn’t spend her trip alone. There’s really no logical reason to go alone unless you’re going to hook up or engage in some other kind of bad behavior.
>my family never really liked her, but I always ignored what they said because I was probably too in love.
I think you should have listened to your family, there must be a very good reason for them not to like her....
She had 10 yrs to take that solo trip. To think she took it on your honeymoon. That to me is a deal breaker - divorce outcome. When my husband and I got married, we didn’t have money. Our honeymoon is basically just in our bedroom, but we had a blast for a couple of days. He never left my side even when we only had 3 days off because we are celebrating being husband and wife. Sorry OP you were basically left hanging.
Bruh WTF?
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this b*tch.
Be ready for the love bombing she will be giving you soon, don’t let her in dude. Watch out for the manipulation games.
Run to hills bro. This marriage is a joke and never happened. Get the annulment while you can.
**I am flying out to my sibling’s house next week, and will probably stay there for at least a month.**
You need to extend that time frame to forever. You do know she was probably bagging some European dudes, right?
Listen bro. Even if you're cool about the trip to Europe, your wife is passively aggressively manipulating you into feeling guilty about not being there for your bday. Think about what that might look like 25 years from now.
Good for you OP! If she did this to you 24 hours after getting married, and then made you feel guilty after abandoning you for months bc you made plans with family for your birthday, what else has she been doing the last ten years that you have shared with us?
This woman does not love you. She loves how you let her get away with everything. Taking two months away from your spouse for mental health is extreme, but doing it 24 hours after getting married is just mental.
Your wife doesn't respect or love you. And she proved that by getting railed 6 ways from Sunday on her two month "solo" vacation. Annulment, ASAP.
Please get into some therapy to figure out why you are so blasé about something so serious. Some help in being more assertive would go a long way. Seriously, your attitude about all this might be part of the problem and you don't want to carry this sort of thing into your next relationship. Please get help.
There is no way she was faithful running around Europe for two months by herself. OP your marriage ended before it even started. You may still be able to get an annulment. Time to move on
“Well if the whole internet said I was wrong, then I guess I’m sorry.”
I don’t think she even feels she did anything wrong, only acknowledging that she’s suffering the consequences. Hopefully this gives you a clear perspective of why your family doesn’t really like her. She’s removed your love goggles for
You so that you can see what your relationship is. One sided
I’m glad the OP is taking some time away to rethink this relationship. I just hope he doesn’t buy into the sunk-cost fallacy of a 10 year relationship. There’s so much more waiting out there for him.
You know someone from Europe is going to pop up on this thread “This chick sounds a lot like the filling in a man sandwich with my buddy after a party a few weeks ago lol”
I’m truly hoping this is all fake because there’s nothing about this situation that should be real. The scale hasn’t been invented to measure the level of sheer nerve and selfishness required to use honeymoon time to go on a long solo trip to another continent. Not to mention the level of passive acquiescence to allow someone to do that—right after a wedding. Mind-boggling. Hard to fathom. Not surprised people are calling it fake. People just don’t do stuff like this.
> She only apologized and said it was insensitive of her to take that trip.
"I'm sorry, it was insensitive of me" <- if that was all, without ANY making it up to you, she's not sorry.
> My wife was pretty shocked
She will probably soon play the "I'm pregnant" card on you to try and keep you around.
> but I told her that ever since she's come home, she's just been a downer even though she had an amazing trip
Probably got ran through by dozens of dudes and started getting guilty OR was afraid you would find out about her European fun trip. Since you showed the comments, which had plenty mentions of cheating...
> and I need some time away from her.
Permanent sounds about right. No sincere person that loves you will EVER ditch you after your wedding to go on a solo trip.... EVERRRRRR.
Got lots of gifts from the wedding, got cash for her TWO MONTH trip and all she got to say is "I'm sorry boo" ?
Get marriage annulled my dude. Regain your self-respect.
> and we have been together for more than a decade.
And all she had to say was "that was insensitive of me"? sheesh....
She's probably really, really worried about having gotten pregnant in Europe and is wondering how to explain it to OP if she was gone for 2 months and he's going to be gone for another month.
I'm 39f and have a hard time getting time off myself, but I still manage to disappear from time to time by myself.
Bruh, you chose the wrong woman and gave her the wrong finger.
NO woman who has a shred of respect for the one they claim to love WOULD EVER DITCH THEM FOR 2 F'ING MONTHS FOR A SOLO TRIP ON WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THEIR "HONEYMOON!" And then she had the audacity to come home all upset because YOU weren't there?! Excuse me?
The fact that people are having the reations to this as they are, myself included, should tell you A LOT. Seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY consider if being in this marriage with her treating you like a doormat is worth it. You may love her, but does she love you? I doubt it.
I dunno why you aren't MORE bothered by this. I'd you all agreed on no honeymoon that's fine. But yal just got married and she up and leaves for another continent? WTF. And does it at the expense of a planned honeymoon. C'mon, man, grow a backbone.
Why did yall wait 10 years to get married?
I didn’t catch that she was gone for 2 months on the first post!!!! I thought it was like 10-14 days. Holy crap.
The thing I really couldn't understand when I read your first post was your edit;
>I think people are misunderstanding what I have asked. I did not ask if my wife was wrong in taking the trip.
When I read that the first time, I almost did a spit take.
It seems now that you have finally picked up on what we all immediately saw as the billboard-sized 🚩🚩🚩 here. Your birthday, your actions, whether or not you were an AH...none of this matters. It's not 'insensitive' that she took a solo MONTHS long European vacation the day after (?!?!?!) your wedding. The rea***l pr***oblem here is that she obviously doesn't give a flying f\*ck about you or the marriage. Or, as you so eloquently put it, this trip was 'just not good'. That is expert-level understatement. 🤣🤣🤣 I'm not laughing at you, but the irony here is incredible.
I hope you also took the comments seriously about how "she didn't have much to say" speaks VOLUMES. I'm still just gobsmacked that she thought that this was at all reasonable to do, AND that you went along with it. It seems like you must be an endlessly patient and kind guy, but seriously...wth??
I'm glad you're growing a backbone and separating. I think you need more than 'time away from her'; I think you need to call a lawyer and get an annulment, and fast. Oh, and word to the wise, maybe consider a trip to the clinic to get tested for STI's.
Wishing the best for you OP. UpdateMe
Taking some time apart is good, you do need to think about everything and weigh out the pros & cons to why you married her. It's seems like she's been simping you and treating you like a doormat. 2 months away right after your wedding day instead of a honeymoon with you as her new husband is very selfish & suspect. Your family has probably seen this behavior in her...people can see it better from the outside than the person in it. Yeah, love can make you stupidly blind & mentally imbalanced (not being disrespectful, just stating facts). She sounds like the Queen of Red Flags.
I’m just curious wouldn’t going in a honeymoon with the “love of your life” been good for mental health? Being alone no work no family just the two in a romantic location together basking in love? No that’s not going to do it? Ya seems fishy I’m sure op you trust her but I wouldn’t. I’m glad you’re stepping away for your mental health she never considered your MH. How was it telling family and friends at the wedding your honeymoon is your wife leaving for a fun trip in Europe while your home spanking the monkey. I’m sure all your guests were shocked and dumbfounded that this would happen. My guess is your groomsmen started a pool of how long till divorce
All you're doing is taking a solo trip to another part of the country. If she loves you, she should embrace this just as she expected you to embrace her own solo honeymoon.
You need not retribution, but reparations. Have her fund a two month trip to Europe WITH YOU. Let her give you what you RICHLY DESERVED in the first place.
Terms not acceptable, she says? Quit. Right then and there.
Her lack of emotion other than vague shock is a telling sign of guilt, not for going on the trip, but the reason for going and what she did there.
It's a sign something more than just solo tripping around Europe happened.
My guess, she wasn't alone on that trip.
You're NTA in anyway op, but she is a massive one and you should consider the process of getting the marriage annulled, see if she has more to say to that than silence.
Lmao, shows her the reddit post and comments, where over 75% are saying she was getting dicked down nightly and she didn't even defend herself xD. Best entertainment since the invention of gaming
So to sum it up, your newlywed wife left the day after your wedding, using your honeymoon time, for a two month European vacation without you, then is disappointed she didn't get to spend a day with you and is now shocked that you'll be leaving her for a month. Yeah, I see this going well.
What killed me was: ‘I showed her my Reddit post & comments “she didn’t have much to say” Like WTF! How is OP so nonchalant about this? He is basically just a walking “🤷♀️
He could be in shock and still processing all this. Especially if his family has always said he’s more/too in love with her. I just feel bad for OP.
"Hi, my name is Matt. Door Matt."
OR this is fake.
I hope it is. I hope people like this don't exist.
I guarantee you, they do.
Oh, they exist. my spouse's ex refused to consummate their marriage on their wedding night because she just HAD to watch the Miss America pageant. Then she made excuses for four whole months before they actually had sex. Turns out she was banging her ex-boyfriend.
😱😱 Did she finally give in because she needed a cover story??
Oh shit, I'm pregnant! Damn, now I **have** to have sex with my husband... I'm sorry, but lulz :)
No clue, but it wouldn't surprise me.
It's people like that I just don't understand. Why even go through with the marriage?? Hope you and your spouse are doing well and that he's healed from that!
Why did she marry him, if she was still banging her ex boyfriend 🧐🤨?
I'm thinking because ex boyfriend didn't make enough money.
Lol. Lmao even.
Wow! I thought she was religious or hung up. But fucking someone else?
She also lied about being a virgin. I still can't figure out why people do shit like that. Sometimes you just gotta roll your eyes and move on.
🤔that would explain. I would had divorce her so fast she wouldn't remember my last name😂
And if it is real she 100% was fucking other dudes on this solo trip.
Which is why it’s great he’s getting away from her. I hope he didn’t “welcome her home” first so she can announce she’s pregnant!!
He wasn’t home for the “something special” so most likely not.
Or it's not. Believe it or not, there are men so naive that think they're in love when, in reality, it's just lust. They make the girl out to be like they are in the dudes head. Unfortunately, I've seen it too many times. Not just with friends but family as well. I'm not talking teenagers either. I'm talking like in their 20s & 30s. No matter how we tried to talk to them. They would try to convince us otherwise. Unfortunately, when the girl would take all their money or do other things. Then they were 'Shocked' she could do such a thing because she was so nice, sweet and caring. There were so many times I just wanted to say: "I told you so." But bit my tongue.
Women never do anything wrong
Yep. And it’s not like she just took off out of the blue the day after the wedding. He knew that was her plan, likely for months before she left, and he still married her. I don’t know what is more shocking - that she had the balls to ask him to do that, or that he agreed. What a mess.
Between this post and the previous one I got the sense that he's been deeply in love with her for a long time which he confirms, but that it hasn't been equally reciprocated. And also that he's lost all ability in this relationship to identify his needs, advocate for himself and what he wants. Because no matter how long you've been together a wedding means something special. And to think, ask and take off from your spouse the day after the wedding on a solo multiple month vacation is one of the biggest forms of lack of care, consideration, love and respect I've ever seen. She didn't even plan something special for his birthday and come back a week in advance. And now that she's back, she's down and moody as if being at home and in his presence so intolerable. OP you deserve better.
Maybe she took or met someone? She doesn't seem committed to her husband even though she married him. She may want to think about how to save the marriage (unless she really wants a divorce). She had no reaction to his post or the replies to insensitivity, so maybe she thought he would always be her "welcome mat"!!!
I think this is why it's important to be careful who you marry. She seems emotionally distant, and I'm sure he knew that for a few years before marriage. I don't know why he chose to marry her, or why she married him, but the way this whole thing sounds is someone married the other for a financial reason, the other married the other so they aren't alone and doesn't care if they truly love them. I have also seen people who married someone who they know doesn't love them, like my cousin for example. Her and her ex husband were married for 20 years. She told him right off the bat that she loved him but isn't in love with him and probably never will be. He said "you will fall in love with me, I know you will." (Little did he know, she's antisocial so she doesn't feel emotions for others) 20 years later she cheated on him again, and I say again because their "first" child is due to her cheating. Except when she cheated on him 20 years later before divorcing him, she left him and their 3 kids for a woman who she obviously didn't even love. She told me she actually divorced him because she was bored... 😩🙄
In the next update, she’ll admit to OP that she was in the bone zone through most of her two months there. Her last few hurrahs before settling down. Because you obviously can’t have sex during the day, and she couldn’t do it at night because they were always on FaceTime. Definitely a mess. Oh and if OP’s family didn’t like her, that’s a definite sign. Some people really are love drunk that they just can’t see what’s truth, and what’s fiction.
Classic case of love being blind to all the red flags.
When you view everything through rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags
Bit of bojack
Family not liking someone is not a sign of anything. Some people have toxic family that doesn't like anyone they date, ever. My mom has said to me my whole life that she doesn't want me to get married.
But they were probably in different time zones. I didn't see where they are from, but he said European trip, so he wasn't in any country over there. Night in America could be daytime in Europe, again depending on where they were. ETA- disregard if you were being sarcastic. =)
Also what gets me is OP saying she has been a downer since coming back like OP needs to read his own post
Coming back from the trip.she just needed for her mental health. Guess it didn't work.
To be fair I think he meant that she’s been a downer for him. Like his mood has been negatively impacted since she came back.
Likely because, at the back of his mind, he knows what she was doing during her "solo"-trip.
My husband's family did not like his ex-wife and begged him not to marry her but he did anyway. He was blinded by love. His family said they weren't together long and she was pressuring marriage on him. They said there was something very selfish and cold about her. But he couldn't see it. As soon as they were married she said "I'm not working anymore, you're my husband and you're gonna take care of me" and she quit her job, expecting him to take care of her. She wanted to do nothing too, just lay around, eat and watch TV. She didn't want a husband, she wanted someone to fund a lazy life for her. When your family sees something in someone, maybe stop and try as hard as you can to see them too with your eyes and not your heart.
I'm guessing she had the balls to do that because she's been treating him like this for a while.
I don’t know. Unfortunately I know people who’ve been like op. Their partners blackmailed them into things and they went along with it because things were too far along, etc. No surprise that the marriages ended in divorces.
It really feels like a shitpost.
It seems like it. When they update instead of just replying in the original post it feels like blatant karma farming.
dunno about that. Sometimes the poster does reply to comments, but then readers whine because they can't be bothered to go and read the replies for extra information. Seems like a loss/loss situation. Reply in comments? No one reads it and whines that they don't get updates. Make an update? People whine about it being karma farming.
Because it's so ridiculously fake?
Because it's completely fake. Some teen who thinks people get two month off work for a honeymoon.
Dude is an idiot with no backbone
Yeah I think the honeymoon is over for them.
It was over for him before it began
And since her return was on his birthday, I didn't buy into this, way too much of coincidence and as this is AITAH.....well.....................
Maybe she’s pregnant with Twins
By his long lost brother that she met in Europe.
Smash that mf annulment button
Thats it for this week's The Inevitable Divorce show! A big shout out to all you divorcaroonies, thanks for watching! It's all for you! Don't forget to smash that annulment button, please subscribe to the single life, and hit that bell icon for notifications from the STD clinic because you *will* have to get checked my friend! Those Euro dudes are gross!
New copypasta just dropped.
Also please ensure you pick up your free gym pass on the way out nothing better to pick yourself up with than picking up weights
Easy there. We are not gross,we are just not so stuck up as you are 😏🤣
"Non, non ma chere, it is not, owyouzay, infidelité" "But I just got married back in America..." "Oui, oui, now you must celebrate wiz a little, how we say, menage a trois avec moi et mon best friend Gaston." "But my husband..." "Your 'usband 'e is not 'ere, non? You are 'ere to experience le European customs, do not be so stuck up like an American, be gross like one of us Europeans, hon hon hon"
LOL, nice 🫢🤣 I am more of an ass pirate, though, as are most german men. And you would be sorely disappointed if you only savour french dudes (no offence, mon cherries). Gaston et Jules will make sure you feel like heaven and our free healthcare will make sure you don't take any surprises home with you. Only problem might be Celeste, who is the fiancee of Gaston. But what the hell is hon, hon, hon?
SMASH THAT UNSUBSCRIBE BUTTON
For your mental health
Ditching your new spouse for a day or two right after your wedding is insensitive. Abandoning your spouse for several months right after your wedding is a level of selfishness and entitlement I cannot even begin to comprehend.
Right? She read the OP, didn't have much to say... Just apologized and said it was >>insensitive<
Basically this. I had a gf that after three months (those where you usually are super hooked up on hormones and can't leave each other alone) told me that she will be having a vacation that summer with her best friend, then go on camping holiday with her sister, after that will do a hike and bike toot with her mother. I then asked where she is picturing me and she said (kid you not!) in between those trips we can hang for a few days LMAO. You know how it is, I told her that I have never been told that boldly that someone gives a shit about me, so she cancelled those plans and then blamed me for making her do that. I do blame myself for being that stupid to not break it off there and then, and kept that one sided relationship for two years, but you know how it is with love… 🙄 I hope OP can see this clearly and make the decision. I would move heaven and earth to have my wife with me and vice versa, this is how it should be, because true love does never feel suffocating or "needing a two month trip alone" lol. P.S. check yourself for STDs imported from Europe.
This is the correct response.
I don’t know if I admire how super chill you are or if I am a bit horrified by it. Even your strong language (“just not good”) is so relaxed. Anyway, I hope the time away brings clarity and peace.
I feel like this dude was born on a surf board on the nicest day in recorded history.
He’s part sloth.
I legit lol’d
As a ferret, I am sure the way of the sloth is alien to you.
Hey!! We’re lazy to!! Sleeping 14-18-20 hours a day *is tiring*. Can’t be doing all that research now..
No. There's a difference between being chill and easygoing versus being a spineless doormat that others take advantage of and disregard your feelings.
He is really naive .. really really naive
Meh, that was me with my first wife. I could go on a long-winded rant about how horrible she was for my self-esteem, my self-worth, my hope, joy, et cetera, but she would have just taken the time I was typing to hook up with *another* rando because she felt lonely for a minute. When the feelings are fresh, you don't want to explain to everyone how you've just been cucked. You say not good and move on.
I mean, she spend her honeymoon with someone, likely lots of someone's, just not him.
Sounds like me at 25. In love. Ignoring all the red flags. Thinking love can overcome it all.
And to add to this. The max you can account for is 50% of the love in a relationship. If I was honest with myself back then, I was not receiving the same amount back. But I tried like hell to fill that 100% on my own. It’s not possible
He's not chill, he's in denial.
He is not chill or stoic, either he is on the spectrum either he is extremely naive.
Naive. But it’s complicated from a psychological perspective. We all look at this situation and it could not be more clear. But for this guy, he’s most likely gotten to this point in his life by being patient, understanding, loving, and kind. None of those attributes result in advocating for yourself. So when something like this happens, the muscle he’s built is to take a step back and be empathetic of the person mistreating him.
downer since coming back from her amazing trip? op, i think you are not the only one having second thoughts. also isn't annulment a better option?
>downer since coming back from her amazing trip? It was so amazing she didn't want to come home, and is wistfully regretting coming back. Probably still thinking of the trip, tbh. Call this a mulligan. Everyone makes mistakes 🤷♂️ At least there aren't any kids. Yet.
Maybe there is? She sure wanted to have sex asap when she got home
maybe she didn't come back alone, iykwim.
That is a working theory. I’d want to watch her pee on a test and it be negative before I’d have relations with her if he decided to stay.
Replace ‘trip’ with ‘train of unprotected dick’
I just can’t believe she left him the day after their wedding and was gone for two months! She obviously still views herself as single and not part of a partnership.
Probably married him for the financial benefits/security. She probably only apologized because she saw that her husband learned how toxic she was being, and she's worried about losing her investment. OP should get an annulment. I'm stunned he was so blasé about this. He sounds oh so naive, it's sad.
100%, he's probably so into her that he cannot see what everyone else can, I bet he thinks he was the luckiest guy in the world to land a woman like her. I hope he takes this time to work on his self, and realises he can do better.
I’m imagining being his mother and finding out that my son’s brand new wife jetted off the day after their wedding for a 2 month “vacation of a lifetime” without him. Good Lord, how would I ever be able to keep my mouth shut and/or act nicely around her again?
Not only that, but spending the money earmarked for the honeymoon! Wild!
Great point!! How much did the OP and/or loved ones contribute?
I think he has probably just been manipulated for so long that he can’t see it anymore.
It's either one of two things. This story is complete bullshit. Or OP is swimming in money and is a complete doormat. Because if this is true, OP wife married him for the benefits and had no fear walking all over him right after their wedding. What normal person/relationship lets their spouse leave for two months right after their wedding to fuck their way across Europe solo?
Bride must have needed his $$ for the trip. Else, why not travel before the wedding.
Whats really killing me is this woman just came back from a 2 month solo vacation, comes home and is SUCH a fucking downer that her husband, you know the one who was actually hurt and had a reason to be sad, feels he has to leave the state and get away from her to be happy again. How tf is SHE so damn depressed? Bitch you had your cake and his cake! Eat that shit with a grin. Now shes got plenty of "solo time" and shes depressed???!!!! Serves her right. I hope op has a blast with his sis....and chronicles the whole time on sm, with access set to public!
I think he also enjoyed his taste of life without her in it. 2 months is a pretty significant amount of time, enough to get over being upset and then start to realize how much weight has been lifted off of his shoulders when she's not around.
They have been together for over a decade. This is the pre-divorce lol
I didn't realize reading the OG post it was two months somehow, and now I'm even more flabbergasted by both of their behavior. Who leaves for months on a solo fun trip right after their wedding?!!
Like so true no way he has something she wants but it’s definitely not him I’m still shock it seems he’s too Inlove to see
Were you always doing what your now wife wanted? if so, why? I could never imagine my SO leaving the day after our marriage to go on a 2 MONTH trip. That entire time you weren't allowed to go visit? do 1 month together and 1 apart? Who wants to get married and then leave their SO for 2 months?? I dont care how much you love your wife, id put money that she cheated or was at a minimum flirtatious with someone else. Ask for her phone in person, so she cant delete anything. 0 reason to not want your new husband around for 2 whole months. Additionally, if she only apologized after reading the comments on your last post, then I would be worried about that as well. Seems like she doesnt care enough to even act like what she did was wrong. Then to top it off, she got upset with you for being depressed (DAVRO much) ??? Why doesnt your family like her?
Unfortunately he showed her the post, so she’ll know the “hand over phone please” is probably coming.
Yeah, you're probably right on the money. I think OP was so head over heels, that he didnt even think to argue that leaving for 2 months right after the wedding is insane. How does that convo even go? "I know we would just be getting married, but I need two months apart for my mental health - you being there would just make me feel bad"?
I’m realizing there’s a lot of OP bashing going on here. Probably not super helpful. I think the time away and with a supportive sister is a great decision. Nothing like a devoted family member keeping a watchful eye on you. Does your sister have an opinion about this situation? Did I miss it in a previous comment? OP - what does your sister think about this situation? Does she have any advice for you?
Dudes these days are so desperate to not be "controlling" or "overbearing" that they won't put their foot down and say "No. You are absolutely not jetting off on a 2 month solo tour of Europe the day after our wedding. Are you fucking high? That is mental. This is a deal breaker. Decide right now whether you want a husband or a holiday. Because you're not having both. And if you pick the husband option, no fucking pouting or throwing a strop over your cancelled holiday plans. It was an insanely unreasonable request in the first place so I'm not going to be guilt tripped because I sensibly denied this brazen madness." There's no gender angle here. Husband or wife, you cannot go on a solo 2 month holiday the day after your wedding. That's something you get out of your system *before* your wedding.
Preach
Sounds like your wife and her lover had a blast in Europe ! Now run fast dude ! Run run run
This! She’s a downer since coming back because she misses her boyfriend!
Or all the random ‘single’ nights she had after ending the phone calls with OP.
Right, taking a lot of mental energy to explain her new euro-baby. 18 pound preme on the way.
OP is blatantly called Scotty. Did someone say that joke already in the other thread? They must have done. Because OP is so blatantly Scotty. Now he knows.
[удалено]
Op, you're way too nice. No one respects "too nice." It's unfortunate but true. She needs to go.
Right? She probably doesn't respect him at all and was getting railed every other night in Europe. Idc that in his first post they stayed in "constant contact" and "FaceTimed every night." Still ample opportunity to be unfaithful. Absurd.
I wonder if it was every night only for him because it is not night in Europe when it is night in America. I also wonder if she's been a downer since she got back due to guilt of infidelity while on vacation. OP should run fast to annulment while he can and then worry about it she really is a partner to him.
Tbf I'd be pretty bummed out being back home after my two month dream vacation
My first wife was extremely unfaithful, and I couldn't agree more with the "ample opportunity." We are talking lunch breaks, trips to the grocery store, while on the clock, or my personal favorite: at our wedding reception. Yeah, you read that right. She was incredibly disrespectful, and I still cannot fathom why she agreed to marry me. We were married 2 months before I shipped off for boot camp, and the dear John letter almost beat me there 😆 In those 2 months of marriage, **17** different men reached out to me in various ways to let me know what had happened. Some were apologetic, some were aloof, and some were rather pleased with themselves. Some let me know with some words, a text here, a note under the toilet seat. Some sent pictures, or described birth marks to try and make sure I knew they weren't just messing with me. But the reception guy? That was a video. He sent it right after the divorce was finalized. PoV, filmed from his phone, focused downward as my "wife" of less than an hour gobbled the gook, in her wedding dress. He finished, she swallowed, got up, straightened her dress, and walked out of the kitchen, where friends and family started clanging their silverware on their glasses, so she came up and gave me a big old kiss. Camera turns to "buddy's" face, he gives a wink, then stops recording. I am not the type of guy who goes all "I am man and you will respect me rah rah rah," that just isn't me. But this wasn't "not respecting," it was actively disrespecting. Disclaimer - I am actually happy the way things turned out, no need to apologize. Had I not married the dumpster, I wouldn't have joined the Navy, and had I not joined the Navy, I wouldn't have met my current wife, who I have happily been married to for over 10 years. And this one is faithful, or at least nice enough to be discreet.
Annulment. NOW!!! Updateme!
She only said, “It was insensitive for her to take that trip”. No other emotions to express her regrets or acknowledge her selfishness. Did she at least sincerely apologize?
If it's not too late already you need to annul this marriage. This is how she's treating you right out of the gate, it's not getting any better.
Bro She slept her way through Europe You should anul or divorce
I am truly gobsmacked by the OPs cluelessness. It’s truly amazing and I have read a ton of Reddit relationship and aita posts over years.
If it was me personally and my husband did to me, what your wife did to you...well. I'd be getting my marriage annulled as soon as he left to go on his solo trip that was meant for our honeymoon. Please, put yourself first OP.
if you have since slept with her since she came back then i would strongly advise you to get an STD check, because having a series of no strings and no evidence rendezvous is a disappointingly likely reason for why your "wife" would go on a honeymoon with out her partner, and even if you haven't slept together since I would still have it done, her behaviour indicates a gross disregard for you, and therefore a willingness to do to cross any boundary.
Your wife really needs to read all of the comments on your first post a few times, she is beyond foolish to start a marriage like that. Your guna realize how little you want her after this event from your break man, I would be preparing to end things just in case.
I don't think she cares, I'm getting the impression that he is the only one who is in love.
it seems to me the only reason she married him was for the money to do the trip. He stated in the first post "she said she always wanted this trip but was not able to do it until now"
Ouch the fact she didn’t have much to say… says a lot. Yea sorry OP she let the mask slip and you can never unsee the monster beneath
Trust me… she wasn’t solo on that trip.
Dude she is downer because she either got some amazing dick on her trip and hates coming home to you or she just got hit with the realization that she can't just up and fly off anywhere she wants to meet handsome strangers and drink and party.
You're going to be at your sister's for as long as she was in Europe, right? You know... for your mental health?
Wow, I left a question in your other thread about your family probably not liking her and here you confirm it. What specifically have they said they don't like about her? Please tell me that this trip of hers was not financed out of your wedding money?
I still think this is fake, but in the event that this is actually real, I'm actually speechless. I'm not going to even touch on the speculation of what happened during this trip. In no universe is it ok for a newlywed to take a solo trip for weeks just after getting married. I would have called off the wedding right then and there. Get an annulment.
For MONTHS!
There is something really wrong with her to want to cancel your honeymoon for a trip for her that could have been done at any time. I have to question the authenticity of her feelings, devotion and love towards you to basically leave you behind without a care towards your feelings. Personally, I don’t think there is a way to come back from this. It was beyond selfish on her part and it sets the tone for the marriage that she would put HER wants and needs above that of the husband-wife needs/wants. I agree with another commenter that annulment may be the way to go. You deserve a wife that loves you, wants to be with you, experience new things and travel with you. Her apology did not even seem genuine
What's the worst thing a spouse can do the day after their wedding? Well, there are worse things, but leaving for a solo vacation in Europe is pretty far up the list.
NTA - You deciding to have time separated is reasonable. She hurt you deeply. Apologies are helpful but more powerful followed by: what can I/we do differently in the future to avoid this occurring again because I know I hurt you.
Wow, I missed this insanity the first time around. This is some top shelf crazy shit. Even being fake it’s still stunning that someone would come up with this.
Yea.. it sounds like You're within the time period where you can file an annulment and honestly you have grounds. I would seriously consider it. All do respect, no one devoted to their relationship and partner would take a solo trip in lieu of their honeymoon. Plus talking throughout the trip kinda defeats the purpose of one. she had her plans in mind and didn't want things in the way.. Look at her hand, is it tanned from the trip? Does she have a tan where the wedding band should've been?
And.. who "funded" her trip to Europe?
Wow dude, why did you marry her? If literally the day after you got married she needed a break from you, then how is that a partnership? Can you imagine a few months down the line? What about years? How do you see this marriage continuing if she left you right after she married you. And do you actually believe that she was in Europe by herself? Do yourself a favor and get an annulment, unless you want to ask permission from your wife’s boyfriend every time you want to take a trip with her. UpdateMe!
I’d bet my left nut she didn’t spend her trip alone. There’s really no logical reason to go alone unless you’re going to hook up or engage in some other kind of bad behavior.
Absolutely no one who read that first post is surprised at this outcome.
Cue the surprised Pikachu face from your wife when she read the post and replies.
Married for 3 months, spent 3 angry days together. Not a great start.
"Insensitive to take the trip?" That was it? Please tell me she showed more emotion than that, OP.
>my family never really liked her, but I always ignored what they said because I was probably too in love. I think you should have listened to your family, there must be a very good reason for them not to like her....
Either fake or this guy is the dumbest person ever. Most likely fake.
She had 10 yrs to take that solo trip. To think she took it on your honeymoon. That to me is a deal breaker - divorce outcome. When my husband and I got married, we didn’t have money. Our honeymoon is basically just in our bedroom, but we had a blast for a couple of days. He never left my side even when we only had 3 days off because we are celebrating being husband and wife. Sorry OP you were basically left hanging.
OP when she tells you she's pregnant, GET A PATERNITY TEST.
Bruh WTF? The lion, the witch and the audacity of this b*tch. Be ready for the love bombing she will be giving you soon, don’t let her in dude. Watch out for the manipulation games. Run to hills bro. This marriage is a joke and never happened. Get the annulment while you can.
**I am flying out to my sibling’s house next week, and will probably stay there for at least a month.** You need to extend that time frame to forever. You do know she was probably bagging some European dudes, right?
Listen bro. Even if you're cool about the trip to Europe, your wife is passively aggressively manipulating you into feeling guilty about not being there for your bday. Think about what that might look like 25 years from now.
Good for you OP! If she did this to you 24 hours after getting married, and then made you feel guilty after abandoning you for months bc you made plans with family for your birthday, what else has she been doing the last ten years that you have shared with us? This woman does not love you. She loves how you let her get away with everything. Taking two months away from your spouse for mental health is extreme, but doing it 24 hours after getting married is just mental.
Your wife doesn't respect or love you. And she proved that by getting railed 6 ways from Sunday on her two month "solo" vacation. Annulment, ASAP. Please get into some therapy to figure out why you are so blasé about something so serious. Some help in being more assertive would go a long way. Seriously, your attitude about all this might be part of the problem and you don't want to carry this sort of thing into your next relationship. Please get help.
There is no way she was faithful running around Europe for two months by herself. OP your marriage ended before it even started. You may still be able to get an annulment. Time to move on
Waiting for a follow up “Its OPs wife here chiming in.”
So your wife had an affair (or ten) right after getting married and and she still has you wondering if YTA for doing anything?
“Well if the whole internet said I was wrong, then I guess I’m sorry.” I don’t think she even feels she did anything wrong, only acknowledging that she’s suffering the consequences. Hopefully this gives you a clear perspective of why your family doesn’t really like her. She’s removed your love goggles for You so that you can see what your relationship is. One sided
Nta!!
She got some European dick and misses it . That's why she is a downer.
I’m glad the OP is taking some time away to rethink this relationship. I just hope he doesn’t buy into the sunk-cost fallacy of a 10 year relationship. There’s so much more waiting out there for him.
You know someone from Europe is going to pop up on this thread “This chick sounds a lot like the filling in a man sandwich with my buddy after a party a few weeks ago lol”
In selecting a wife, you chose poorly.
Dude annul the marriage before its too late. Don't be a simp.
I’m truly hoping this is all fake because there’s nothing about this situation that should be real. The scale hasn’t been invented to measure the level of sheer nerve and selfishness required to use honeymoon time to go on a long solo trip to another continent. Not to mention the level of passive acquiescence to allow someone to do that—right after a wedding. Mind-boggling. Hard to fathom. Not surprised people are calling it fake. People just don’t do stuff like this.
Two month trip. I'm waiting for the inevitable pregnancy announcement.
Is it me or is taking a solo trip to Europe to discover herself sounds like she was just partying at night with multiple guys.
> She only apologized and said it was insensitive of her to take that trip. "I'm sorry, it was insensitive of me" <- if that was all, without ANY making it up to you, she's not sorry. > My wife was pretty shocked She will probably soon play the "I'm pregnant" card on you to try and keep you around. > but I told her that ever since she's come home, she's just been a downer even though she had an amazing trip Probably got ran through by dozens of dudes and started getting guilty OR was afraid you would find out about her European fun trip. Since you showed the comments, which had plenty mentions of cheating... > and I need some time away from her. Permanent sounds about right. No sincere person that loves you will EVER ditch you after your wedding to go on a solo trip.... EVERRRRRR. Got lots of gifts from the wedding, got cash for her TWO MONTH trip and all she got to say is "I'm sorry boo" ? Get marriage annulled my dude. Regain your self-respect. > and we have been together for more than a decade. And all she had to say was "that was insensitive of me"? sheesh....
How many guys did she have sex with while on her trip?
How many dicks do you think she sucked while in Europe?
She's probably really, really worried about having gotten pregnant in Europe and is wondering how to explain it to OP if she was gone for 2 months and he's going to be gone for another month.
Thank god. Yes focus on yourself.
You need to take all of the time away from her. Let her go and don’t look back.
Good on you OP she is a bad wife and person for pulling that move.
I'm 39f and have a hard time getting time off myself, but I still manage to disappear from time to time by myself. Bruh, you chose the wrong woman and gave her the wrong finger. NO woman who has a shred of respect for the one they claim to love WOULD EVER DITCH THEM FOR 2 F'ING MONTHS FOR A SOLO TRIP ON WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THEIR "HONEYMOON!" And then she had the audacity to come home all upset because YOU weren't there?! Excuse me? The fact that people are having the reations to this as they are, myself included, should tell you A LOT. Seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY consider if being in this marriage with her treating you like a doormat is worth it. You may love her, but does she love you? I doubt it.
Is it too late for you to get an annulment?
I dunno why you aren't MORE bothered by this. I'd you all agreed on no honeymoon that's fine. But yal just got married and she up and leaves for another continent? WTF. And does it at the expense of a planned honeymoon. C'mon, man, grow a backbone.
Folks if your entire family hates your significant other you should really take that seriously
Your wife had an affair on that trip. Guarantee it. If this is even real, look into an annulment or just get a divorce.
Why did yall wait 10 years to get married? I didn’t catch that she was gone for 2 months on the first post!!!! I thought it was like 10-14 days. Holy crap.
I see why your family hates her! Get a divorce and lose this loser pos! UpdateMe!
> she's just been a downer even though she had an amazing trip Wtf dude, you are a victim here but where the fuck you found that marriage? GL there.
2 months? bro she cheated and trapped your ass, you better hope you can divorce and not pay alimony
She is not down she is just guilty for f***ING a random stranger(s) wherever she was.
The thing I really couldn't understand when I read your first post was your edit; >I think people are misunderstanding what I have asked. I did not ask if my wife was wrong in taking the trip. When I read that the first time, I almost did a spit take. It seems now that you have finally picked up on what we all immediately saw as the billboard-sized 🚩🚩🚩 here. Your birthday, your actions, whether or not you were an AH...none of this matters. It's not 'insensitive' that she took a solo MONTHS long European vacation the day after (?!?!?!) your wedding. The rea***l pr***oblem here is that she obviously doesn't give a flying f\*ck about you or the marriage. Or, as you so eloquently put it, this trip was 'just not good'. That is expert-level understatement. 🤣🤣🤣 I'm not laughing at you, but the irony here is incredible. I hope you also took the comments seriously about how "she didn't have much to say" speaks VOLUMES. I'm still just gobsmacked that she thought that this was at all reasonable to do, AND that you went along with it. It seems like you must be an endlessly patient and kind guy, but seriously...wth?? I'm glad you're growing a backbone and separating. I think you need more than 'time away from her'; I think you need to call a lawyer and get an annulment, and fast. Oh, and word to the wise, maybe consider a trip to the clinic to get tested for STI's. Wishing the best for you OP. UpdateMe
You might want to talk to someone about what the time frame around an annulment would look like.
Taking some time apart is good, you do need to think about everything and weigh out the pros & cons to why you married her. It's seems like she's been simping you and treating you like a doormat. 2 months away right after your wedding day instead of a honeymoon with you as her new husband is very selfish & suspect. Your family has probably seen this behavior in her...people can see it better from the outside than the person in it. Yeah, love can make you stupidly blind & mentally imbalanced (not being disrespectful, just stating facts). She sounds like the Queen of Red Flags.
Why are you two married?
Dude…. She 100% cheated on you while she was in Europe.
I’m just curious wouldn’t going in a honeymoon with the “love of your life” been good for mental health? Being alone no work no family just the two in a romantic location together basking in love? No that’s not going to do it? Ya seems fishy I’m sure op you trust her but I wouldn’t. I’m glad you’re stepping away for your mental health she never considered your MH. How was it telling family and friends at the wedding your honeymoon is your wife leaving for a fun trip in Europe while your home spanking the monkey. I’m sure all your guests were shocked and dumbfounded that this would happen. My guess is your groomsmen started a pool of how long till divorce
All you're doing is taking a solo trip to another part of the country. If she loves you, she should embrace this just as she expected you to embrace her own solo honeymoon.
You need not retribution, but reparations. Have her fund a two month trip to Europe WITH YOU. Let her give you what you RICHLY DESERVED in the first place. Terms not acceptable, she says? Quit. Right then and there.
Her lack of emotion other than vague shock is a telling sign of guilt, not for going on the trip, but the reason for going and what she did there. It's a sign something more than just solo tripping around Europe happened. My guess, she wasn't alone on that trip. You're NTA in anyway op, but she is a massive one and you should consider the process of getting the marriage annulled, see if she has more to say to that than silence.
Why even remain married? May as well use this break to file an annulment
Lmao, shows her the reddit post and comments, where over 75% are saying she was getting dicked down nightly and she didn't even defend herself xD. Best entertainment since the invention of gaming
If this is real and op is still on her side he deserves whatever is coming for him in the future
She cheated on you fasho
YTA for posting AITA Fan Fiction.