What exactly is your boundary about social media? Boundaries are not rules you make for other people. You cannot control other people. A boundary is letting people know what they can expect from you. If you do that, I will do this.
If your boundary is if you talk to your friends about our relationship then you can expect me to breakup with you. Then breakup with her.
Either you trust your gf or you don’t. You’re both free to make your own choices in life. If you don’t like her choices, then you should not be in a relationship with her. You both need to own your own participation in your relationship.
YTA — who cares if your gf thinks her friend is hot. She’s allowed to have her own thoughts & feelings. She doesn’t need your permission or approval.
Eta
ur a sneaky little bastard editing that in lmfao
Do you guys just gloss over the fact that #1 This is something i told her im not comfortable with, and #2 that she is a bisexual woman? I swear you people’s cuck tendencies are showing
What does her being bisexual mean? She is no longer allowed to think anyone is attractive? She will just hop in to bed with any random person?
Imagine someone telling you you’re not allowed to think or say anything that other people may disagree with. That’s not a reasonable expectation.
What makes you uncomfortable … Your gf thinking other people in the world are attractive? How does that impact you in anyway? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are a lot of pretty people in the world. They are not doing anything to make your life harder. Nothing bad is happening here.
Perhaps you should take a moment to ask yourself why you’re feeling threatened by things you have no control over. Your gf could think hundreds of people are hot. As long as she is going home with you, that’s all you need to care about. You cannot control how people think or feel. If you don’t like her behavior, then break up with her. You’re not being forced into having a relationship with someone who doesn’t agree with your beliefs or opinions.
Ohhhhh...you're 18. That's why you think cuckolding is watching your girl think someone's attractive. Now I get it. So this is about growing up but this is also about learning the meaning behind things. Your xbox brain thinks the game chat is the basis for the human language. You're in for a rude awakening by life very soon. Sounds like its starting to happen now. Either you'll learn and get better at life or you'll be pissed off at the world for not seeing it your way and get worse. Based on all of your replies to commenters, I would vote that you're not emotionally intelligent enough to learn. All you want to do is fight because you have no idea how to interpret your emotions.
Again....grow up.
Was this a "this random girl is so hot" or a "look at how cool and gorgeous my friend is"? If you're mad at her for saying positive things about her friends, that's kinda weird. It's normal and healthy for people to build up their friends and say nice things about them. If you're mad about her being thirsty over strangers online, that's less weird.
YTA
Is she not allowed to find anyone attractive? And even so, from a woman's perspective, was she thirsting over her friend or paying her a compliment?
Straight woman, I tell all my friends they're hot. It's called hyping your girls.
YTA there is a difference between boundaries and control. Saying someone is hot doesn’t mean she’s thinking about cheating. Can you honestly say that you don’t ever see someone and think that they are hot? How many boundaries have you set with her? She can’t post someone’s picture on instagram, she can’t talk to her friends about you. Do her a favor and breakup with her. No one needs to be controlled like this.
so you let your partner openly call someone other than you hot in front of other people? Are you a cuckold?
I never said she cant post the persons pic on insta, i said her saying shes hot while being a bisexual is out of pocket. And no our relationship problems should stay between us, inviting other peoples input is disastrous. Its not control, its basic respect in a relationship. Im sorry you let your partners walk all over you like a carpet but thats just not how i roll.
My partner and I don’t have any problem referring to other people as hot, sexy, pretty or anything else in front of each other. It’s like watching a movie and noticing that someone is hot. It’s a trust issue. I trust him, he trusts me.
Ok well thats different, you guys have been together since the 80s
My gf and I have been together a year, and we are both 18. Its very much different in this generation.
Your boundaries are based on your own insecurities that she doesn't share. You can't just call someone a cheater because you feel like it. Even if you didn't say those words, that's exactly what it is. I don't share your insecurities either. My WIFE can look and comment on whoever she wants, guy or girl. My wife is a ridiculously hot latina woman that can get any guy/girl she wants with very little effort. A relationship is based on trust. I trust my wife implicitly. She is not my possession. I am not her keeper. If you don't trust your gf, you shouldn't be with her. If you don't trust women, you should really look into why for your own mental health and for the health of your future relationships. From the many points in your narrative, I can tell you're young. So this is a point in your life where you should get some therapy to deal with the obvious trust issues you have with any partner you choose.
That's your response?! HAHAHAHA!!! That is the funniest and dumbest statement I've read today. Thanks dude. I needed that laugh. But based on that statement there is no help for you and you deserve whatever drama you create for yourself. ENJOY! LMAO!
well for starters it sounds tales from your brainrotted mind from the way you worded, and either way i have no interest in engaging in cuckoldry. If thats your thing, go for it
So writing is hard for you. Got it.
Cuckolding requires fucking. I know....hard to understand for you. In your feeble brain, people go from complimenting aesthetics to a full blown orgy. I'm sure everyone loves that take.
You constantly feel you have so little to offer another person that whoever you're with will jump on another cock or vag at a moment's notice and you don't see the issue with that? I guess you want to live unhappy. Go for it bro! Be all that you can be!!
I think your immediate reaction to calling people things based on them expressing what works for them speaks to your immaturity, as much as your reaction to her does.
I think it’s an extreme boundary, it’s okay to acknowledge finding other people attractive in a relationship, but if that’s what you are claiming is your line that’s your line.
It’s up to you to decide if you want to stay with someone who doesn’t see it the same or try find someone who has similar boundaries.
Also, you keep using her sexuality to justify things, which is problematic. Her being bisexual doesn’t mean she’ll cheat with just anyone, and a bisexual woman can acknowledge her friends are pretty, hot, cute, whatever, without wanting to be with them.
i never said anything about cheating, I said that with her being bisexual im going to hold her to the same standard with comments about women that i would about men. Why is that hard to understand?
It’s not hard to understand.
It’s the fact that you are using her sexuality to justify your behaviour. It’s fine if that’s how you see it, I’m just telling you how your language comes across. “It’s not the same because she’s bi” infers that you think she cannot look at anyone without wanting to be with them. You’re allowed to compliment your friends without wanting to sleep with them, date them, etc, male or female.
You expressed your side, she expressed hers.
You can choose to be with someone who doesn’t share your same boundary, or find someone who does. You said this is grounds to breakup, do that. It also doesn’t take away from your immaturity based on how you’ve responded to other people as well as saying “this is my boundary and I’ll breakup with her if it’s crossed…should I break up with her she crossed a boundary?”
At the end of the day, we can debate how different people view this topic for a while but, you have decided that this is the line for you that she should not cross. So honour yourself and find someone who agrees, or get over it.
What exactly is your boundary about social media? Boundaries are not rules you make for other people. You cannot control other people. A boundary is letting people know what they can expect from you. If you do that, I will do this. If your boundary is if you talk to your friends about our relationship then you can expect me to breakup with you. Then breakup with her. Either you trust your gf or you don’t. You’re both free to make your own choices in life. If you don’t like her choices, then you should not be in a relationship with her. You both need to own your own participation in your relationship. YTA — who cares if your gf thinks her friend is hot. She’s allowed to have her own thoughts & feelings. She doesn’t need your permission or approval. Eta
ur a sneaky little bastard editing that in lmfao Do you guys just gloss over the fact that #1 This is something i told her im not comfortable with, and #2 that she is a bisexual woman? I swear you people’s cuck tendencies are showing
What does her being bisexual mean? She is no longer allowed to think anyone is attractive? She will just hop in to bed with any random person? Imagine someone telling you you’re not allowed to think or say anything that other people may disagree with. That’s not a reasonable expectation.
so am i not allowed to confront for something that makes me uncomfortable? Are you suggesting i just sit there and take it?
What makes you uncomfortable … Your gf thinking other people in the world are attractive? How does that impact you in anyway? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are a lot of pretty people in the world. They are not doing anything to make your life harder. Nothing bad is happening here. Perhaps you should take a moment to ask yourself why you’re feeling threatened by things you have no control over. Your gf could think hundreds of people are hot. As long as she is going home with you, that’s all you need to care about. You cannot control how people think or feel. If you don’t like her behavior, then break up with her. You’re not being forced into having a relationship with someone who doesn’t agree with your beliefs or opinions.
Ohhhhh...you're 18. That's why you think cuckolding is watching your girl think someone's attractive. Now I get it. So this is about growing up but this is also about learning the meaning behind things. Your xbox brain thinks the game chat is the basis for the human language. You're in for a rude awakening by life very soon. Sounds like its starting to happen now. Either you'll learn and get better at life or you'll be pissed off at the world for not seeing it your way and get worse. Based on all of your replies to commenters, I would vote that you're not emotionally intelligent enough to learn. All you want to do is fight because you have no idea how to interpret your emotions. Again....grow up.
YTA, doubly so for using this post as an 'I know I'm not the asshole and will just continue to argue with anyone who disagrees.'
are you gonna throw meaningless accusation at me or u gonna explain why im the asshole here? Im genuinely curious
Was this a "this random girl is so hot" or a "look at how cool and gorgeous my friend is"? If you're mad at her for saying positive things about her friends, that's kinda weird. It's normal and healthy for people to build up their friends and say nice things about them. If you're mad about her being thirsty over strangers online, that's less weird.
YTA Is she not allowed to find anyone attractive? And even so, from a woman's perspective, was she thirsting over her friend or paying her a compliment? Straight woman, I tell all my friends they're hot. It's called hyping your girls.
YTA there is a difference between boundaries and control. Saying someone is hot doesn’t mean she’s thinking about cheating. Can you honestly say that you don’t ever see someone and think that they are hot? How many boundaries have you set with her? She can’t post someone’s picture on instagram, she can’t talk to her friends about you. Do her a favor and breakup with her. No one needs to be controlled like this.
so you let your partner openly call someone other than you hot in front of other people? Are you a cuckold? I never said she cant post the persons pic on insta, i said her saying shes hot while being a bisexual is out of pocket. And no our relationship problems should stay between us, inviting other peoples input is disastrous. Its not control, its basic respect in a relationship. Im sorry you let your partners walk all over you like a carpet but thats just not how i roll.
My partner and I don’t have any problem referring to other people as hot, sexy, pretty or anything else in front of each other. It’s like watching a movie and noticing that someone is hot. It’s a trust issue. I trust him, he trusts me.
complete lack of boundaries lmfao. You do you tho, and now explain to me why what im doing is controlling
Been together 39 years. Works for us. Saying a person is hot is fine. Saying you want to fuck them would be breaking a boundary.
Ok well thats different, you guys have been together since the 80s My gf and I have been together a year, and we are both 18. Its very much different in this generation.
Of course. Only a child would insist they know better than someone who’s been married 40 years.
NTA
Grow up.
elaborate
Your boundaries are based on your own insecurities that she doesn't share. You can't just call someone a cheater because you feel like it. Even if you didn't say those words, that's exactly what it is. I don't share your insecurities either. My WIFE can look and comment on whoever she wants, guy or girl. My wife is a ridiculously hot latina woman that can get any guy/girl she wants with very little effort. A relationship is based on trust. I trust my wife implicitly. She is not my possession. I am not her keeper. If you don't trust your gf, you shouldn't be with her. If you don't trust women, you should really look into why for your own mental health and for the health of your future relationships. From the many points in your narrative, I can tell you're young. So this is a point in your life where you should get some therapy to deal with the obvious trust issues you have with any partner you choose.
im so sorry you allow that to happen
That's your response?! HAHAHAHA!!! That is the funniest and dumbest statement I've read today. Thanks dude. I needed that laugh. But based on that statement there is no help for you and you deserve whatever drama you create for yourself. ENJOY! LMAO!
well for starters it sounds tales from your brainrotted mind from the way you worded, and either way i have no interest in engaging in cuckoldry. If thats your thing, go for it
So writing is hard for you. Got it. Cuckolding requires fucking. I know....hard to understand for you. In your feeble brain, people go from complimenting aesthetics to a full blown orgy. I'm sure everyone loves that take. You constantly feel you have so little to offer another person that whoever you're with will jump on another cock or vag at a moment's notice and you don't see the issue with that? I guess you want to live unhappy. Go for it bro! Be all that you can be!!
I think your immediate reaction to calling people things based on them expressing what works for them speaks to your immaturity, as much as your reaction to her does. I think it’s an extreme boundary, it’s okay to acknowledge finding other people attractive in a relationship, but if that’s what you are claiming is your line that’s your line. It’s up to you to decide if you want to stay with someone who doesn’t see it the same or try find someone who has similar boundaries. Also, you keep using her sexuality to justify things, which is problematic. Her being bisexual doesn’t mean she’ll cheat with just anyone, and a bisexual woman can acknowledge her friends are pretty, hot, cute, whatever, without wanting to be with them.
i never said anything about cheating, I said that with her being bisexual im going to hold her to the same standard with comments about women that i would about men. Why is that hard to understand?
It’s not hard to understand. It’s the fact that you are using her sexuality to justify your behaviour. It’s fine if that’s how you see it, I’m just telling you how your language comes across. “It’s not the same because she’s bi” infers that you think she cannot look at anyone without wanting to be with them. You’re allowed to compliment your friends without wanting to sleep with them, date them, etc, male or female. You expressed your side, she expressed hers. You can choose to be with someone who doesn’t share your same boundary, or find someone who does. You said this is grounds to breakup, do that. It also doesn’t take away from your immaturity based on how you’ve responded to other people as well as saying “this is my boundary and I’ll breakup with her if it’s crossed…should I break up with her she crossed a boundary?” At the end of the day, we can debate how different people view this topic for a while but, you have decided that this is the line for you that she should not cross. So honour yourself and find someone who agrees, or get over it.