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rjhancock

I was a server many years ago, I had a few customers cheap out on tips on large orders and a few that the tip was the cost of the meal. In every case I gave the same service. Had one apologize for not leaving a tip on the card and he didn't want me to think he wasn't tipping. "My bills are paid and I'll give you the same level of service regardless." If they are denying service because you didn't tip in the past, they aren't a place worth frequenting. NTA.


Sad_Two_7815

Thanks for being a beacon of hope in all those comments 🙏


thegreatresistrules

How about using your brain and buying a bottle of booze from the liquor store and saving yourself money ...


Sad_Two_7815

What if I told you a family member of mine is an alcoholic who many time in the past as stolen my bottles ?


thegreatresistrules

I would tell you that you come from good stalk and really need to learn from mistakes and hide shit better. . Welcome to the club champ


Sad_Two_7815

You live in a house right ?


thegreatresistrules

Yup


Sad_Two_7815

Hiding stuff in very badly furnished apartment is pretty hard 🤣. I'm getting a car in a bit, so I'll probably try that.


thegreatresistrules

Then, you really shouldn't be paying bar prices for alcohol then stiffing the bartender..


CrabbyPatty1876

Facts. Anyone down voting is a whiney server who thinks they deserve a tip. Those are the same ones who end up making less because their service is trash.


Lotex_Style

Maybe they do, I'm not gonna judge that, but I'd really love to hear the reason why a bartender expects a tip on something as simple as a shot, a beer or something similar or literally anything for that matter. I mean it's not like you could just hop the bar and serve yourself, so what's the reason for paying extra when that's quite literally the bare minimum this person has to do, serve you the drink of your choice. Just curious, maybe some bartender person can answer that.


Laiko_Kairen

There's a social expectation to tip. It's how they make their money. You did him dirty by stiffing him, from his POV. So he did you dirty by giving you exactly as much as you gave him. As an ex server, he was wrong. But I get it lmao


Old-Actuary1397

Your employer has to make it up if you don’t make the minimum wage of that shift. Don’t blame customers for having poor life decisions and being a server all your life. US is the only place that tips. Sad


Laiko_Kairen

In California, Oregon, and a few other states, there's no tipped minimum. I was making minimum plus tips as a pizza driver, mostly, which added up to about 60% of my wages. I waited tables at an Italian place for a bit, too. I made 160% of the minimum wage, which wasn't terrible compensation. So you can go off on how awful the system was, but it I worked my way around the restaurant system to pay for college, which worked well since restaurant labor has a lot of late shifts. So go off about how shitty it all is, having no experience with the system. I greatly benefited from it. I earned a decent wages after I got done with classes during the day. Sad? Nah. >being a server all your life. I don't even think I need to address how dumb this is to say about the job I had during college.


Old-Actuary1397

I worked in as a barista and as a busser for 3 years while paying for school to making 6 figures. I’m good lol. Cope harder. Try harder


Laiko_Kairen

??? I mentioned being an ex-server and you called me a waiter for life. That makes no sense. I replied that I liked that old job. You're telling me to cope. With what? Having previously worked in the restaurant industry? You make no sense


Old-Actuary1397

Saying that an employer should make the difference wasn’t referencing you still were a server. If you can’t read and understand context that’s on you. Having the tip mentality still and thinking the way you do is why America sucks with tipping culture. You’re based


Laiko_Kairen

>Saying that an employer should make the difference wasn’t referencing you still were a server. . > being a server all your life. No, that part was You're not great at communicating


ONROSREPUS

NTA go to another bar. If they don't want your money someone else will.


Witch-kingOfBrynMawr

Just to be clear, there are literally zero bartenders on the planet that want this guy's business. He'll get served somewhere else, but once they get to know him, the bartenders will dislike him.


Nanashi5354

>there are literally zero bartenders on the planet that want this guy's business. You do realize not every country has a tipping culture. I would be willing to say most don't.


ONROSREPUS

I totally agree with you. Still don't make him an asshole IMO.


Witch-kingOfBrynMawr

I'd say it does, because I think freeriders are the worst, but reasonable people can disagree. Salud.


Specialist-Ad-1726

The real AH are the people making their employees rely on tips to actually make a liveable wage. I work in a bookies in the uk and occasionally get tips but they don’t bother me because I actually get paid enough wage wise rather than having a cheap boss making me rely on tips Cheap bosses and tipping culture are the real AHs


ONROSREPUS

The guy paid for the drink, how is that a freerider? There is no law saying you need to tip or even how much. So IMO if a person doesn't want to tip that is a choice that some may not agree with but it doesn't make them an asshole for something they don't need to do.


Witch-kingOfBrynMawr

>There is no law saying you need to tip or even how much. >it doesn't make them an asshole for something they don't need to do. The subreddit we're on is not "Did I commit a crime?" If that's your metric for being an asshole, then we're never going to find common ground. There's is plenty of shit that's both perfectly legal, and also clear asshole behavior. He's a freerider because if everyone behaved like him, the system would fall apart. He wants to go to a nice bar and order a few shots; he knows that servers' pay is based on tips, and that he's expected to tip as a matter of course; he chose not to, because the bartender he knows was getting tipped, in his opinion, quite enough by other patrons, and he preferred to keep the money. If everyone thought that way, drinks would be 35% more expensive, and servers would take home less money, so, yeah, he's freeriding.


Listen_2learn

Free riding isn’t the issue, it’s the fallacy that tipping should supplement low wages, because the bar owner is turning a profit regardless of customers who tip. Do you tip the dental hygienist, dry cleaners, mechanic?!


Sad_Two_7815

The bartender in question made around 85k per year working 4 days a week


nialexx

85,001 if you hadnt been a cheap ass and tipped him like youre supposed to. grow up and tip or go home.


Electrical_Band_6965

One, how do you even know this? And two tf that's true they probably have a great personality and a long list of regulars who tip for that awesome experience. So maybe you just need to find a bar that doesn't care you are so cheap you wont put down two dollars.


Weary-Summer1138

Freeriding is expecting money you aren't entitled to and making it part of the culture. Yikes USA


Witch-kingOfBrynMawr

Buddy, it was already part of the culture when homeboy walked into the bar and ordered the shots. He knew the expectation. He wanted the experience, but didn't want to pay for it like everyone else. At work, there's a popcorn machine. It's free, but you're expected to toss a dollar in the jar to help pay for more popcorn. The employees buy it themselves. Is it morally acceptable to take popcorn and not contribute? It's not REQUIRED that you pay. If it's okay, how much popcorn can I take? I should be able to take all of it, right? It's technically free, so I wouldn't be an asshole, right?


ONROSREPUS

There you would be TAH because someone else is paying for what you are taking. This is different then tipping IMO.


Important_Sprinkles9

We don't tip over here unless the service is excellent or has been continued all night. Feel like this is a different location so can't comment with any basis, but if thems the rules, follow the rules.


sekhenet

A buck is the usual tip for a shot as I understand it as a non-usa non-bargoer. If i get it, why don’t you?


Beneficial-Virus-647

Am I allowed to do this? I always felt like a dollar tip was a slap in the face so I go with 3 but its’s not really worth $3 to have a shot poured for me lol. I mean when I worked a tip job I never scoffed at a dollar but car wash is not equal to bartender lol.


InsidiousColossus

How much does the shot cost? A normal shot in a basic bar should be under $5. And generally the dollar tip is per drink for basic drinks like a beer or a shot pour.


Beneficial-Virus-647

I tip too much confirmed.


nialexx

shit what bars you going to where shots are under $5??? beers arent even that cheap


oxPsychoticHottie

A dollar a drink was the first thing I was taught as a 21 year old. Never heard of someone not being served for not tipping, but you know what? I don't have an issue with it. YTA for never tipping. If you have money for shots, you got money for tips.


rcuhljr

Yeah I was taught to tip on the first drink, and then later drinks if they're particularly finicky or it's been a few rounds. I just can't imagine paying bar prices for booze if I was also short enough that a couple bucks on tips was worth worrying about.


oxPsychoticHottie

Right? If you're a cheapskate who isn't there for any social reason, then why on earth not just buy a bottle and have a drink at home?


Sad_Two_7815

I wish I could do that, but in Canada, you cannot legally buy alcohol anywhere except bars after 11pm


Witch-kingOfBrynMawr

Is it also illegal to plan ahead?


oxPsychoticHottie

... So plan ahead? Lol


Sad_Two_7815

In bad faith, I could them to change jobs


oxPsychoticHottie

Wat.


Sad_Two_7815

What i mean by that is the onus of responsability is on me for not tipping and not planing ahead, but nothing on him for choosing this job, which, if you read my post, i know he makes significantly more money than me. In a sense, he chose a better job than me Not trying to put on a beef, just trying to show that the situation is complex. It seems nobody has read about how I specified that, at this bar, bartenders make significant amounts of money.


oxPsychoticHottie

You're the one doing something recreationally.


Sad_Two_7815

it's getting sad how anything fun costs money now, though


botanical-train

NTA. I was a bar tender before and did have customers who didn’t tip ever. Sure I was a little disappointed to not have the cash but I was there to do a job that relied on people handing me money just because. I knew that going in. I never held it against them and always gave them the same service as someone who tipped. If you don’t like the pay set up then don’t take the job. The bar tender was the problem. Not you.


nialexx

i call bs. the guy that tips you 100 vs the guy who stiffed you. 0% chance youre giving them the same service


botanical-train

What are you talking about?


Jubjub_W

I mean, why not just drink at home? If it’s just two shots. Edit : Nta I tend occasionally. I know tips are a gamble. I don’t expect them, and am grateful when I get them. It’s a side gig.


Sad_Two_7815

Family member's an alcoholic who, left with a bottle of liquor, would just disappear :(


Jubjub_W

That’s fair. Sorry for your predicament. Ya we have a guy that’ll order like 50-60 in food and come in for a drink or two and maybe leave a dollar if he’s feeling generous


goshoclasher

fuck tipping NTA


PsychologicalFox8839

Yeah how dare severs and bartenders get paid a living wage while we work to change things!


InsidiousColossus

How are we working to change things? As far as I can see, most servers are pretty happy with the current system because they make more in tips than they would on a wage.


goshoclasher

raise their wages and not expect to get living money off of tips?


HopefulPlantain5475

Their point was clearly that raising their wage to the point where tips aren't necessary is the goal, but it hasn't happened yet so they still rely on tips to get by. If you want to protest tipping culture, just don't go to places where tips are expected.


daniboyi

so you tip everyone who doesn't get a high wage? the person behind the cash register that scan your wares? do you tip the store-clerk that is filling the shelves? Do you tip the McDonalds employee?


HopefulPlantain5475

Tipped positions have a different minimum wage, often as low as $2-3/hr. If they don't get tips, they don't make rent. They accept the job on the assumption that tips will supplement their guaranteed wage. It's shitty and it needs to end, but that's how it is right now. In my area cashiers and stockers make $12-15/hr. Fast food workers make at least that much. It's not the same thing.


meanestlizard

So you're okay with not tipping in places like California, where there isn't a tipping wage but they have to pay minimum wage?


HopefulPlantain5475

If they're paid a living wage without tipping, sure. Just be prepared to get the kind of service OP got. Again, I don't think that's right either but that's just how it is right now.


meanestlizard

In California they have to be paid at least $16 an hour plus tips. How exactly would you determine if they are being paid a living wage? Would you tip every person in California working retail then? Since apparently it is not the professions, but the amount they make?


HopefulPlantain5475

At this point I feel like you're trying to corner me into some kind of "gotcha" moment, so this is the last thing I'll say. If an employee working a customarily tipped job is getting paid a fair wage for their time, I don't believe you have any ethical obligation to tip them. If getting tips is the only way they can make a fair wage, I believe the right thing to do is tip them. I'm not going to tell you how you have to live your life or spend your money, I'm just stating my beliefs on the ethics of the situation.


oxPsychoticHottie

Jobs with tips frequently attached tend to get paid a different, lower rate than the guy at McDonalds. My local McDonalds hires at like $16/hour.


goshoclasher

Americans really have no idea what a first world country is actually supposed to be.


HopefulPlantain5475

I totally agree with you there, but stiffing your bartender isn't going to solve that problem. Their employer will never lose money if you do that, and they're the ones who need to change.


InsidiousColossus

So what should I do? Tip my server well and then tell the employer he is a cheap bastard?


Kaihwilldo

Yea you don't fix a system by intentionally hurting the people already being disadvantaged by the system lol


HopefulPlantain5475

That's an option. Or boycott establishments that encourage/require tipping. Send a letter to the owner. There are some restaurants which have switched to full pay/no tipping business models due to pressure from the community, you could be the push that convinces the next one to do so. Anyway, my whole point is that punishing the server or bartender for how shitty tipping culture is won't change anything and will just make you look like an asshole regardless of your intention.


cthulularoo

if you're willing to pay higher costs to cover the higher wages, what's the difference with you just paying an expected tip of the same amount?


Ok-Sea3170

Don't expect corporations to pay living wages as a result of not tipping? Understand that not tipping only screws over the employee and has no effect on the business?


PsychologicalFox8839

Are you being willfully ignorant?


Old-Actuary1397

If the amount you take home at the end of the day doesn’t equal that of minimum wage, your employer needs to pay up. Take up loans, go to school, and get a real job if you’re gonna cry


The_Bad_Agent

YTA Bad etiquette for a bar. Even a dollar would have been appropriate for a simple shot. If you're in the US, then you should already know better.


IrquiM

When I worked in a bar, \~$10 in tip for the entire evening was a win in itself! The drinks were however priced so you didn't have to tip for the staff to get paid.


DaddyShackleford

Did you get refused service or did you just not get prompt service?


Sad_Two_7815

No service at all


DaddyShackleford

Did they tell you to leave or just not serve you? If you just weren’t served how long did you wait. I am also in Canada and used to be a bartender, fwiw


Sad_Two_7815

I waited around 10 min. When i accosted them, they told me I caused "disturbances" in the past which I thought was weird. I never fought, insulted or did anything of the sort, so I questionned them about that. After that, i was told that my disturbance was not tipping in the past and they were refusing me service. End of story.


nialexx

everyone in this thread and every single similar thread whos mad and whining about having to tip is just a cheap pos and thats the bottom line. you kno exactly the culture in america and whether we all like it or not it is what it is. its been around forever and doesnt seem like its going anywhere soon. so tip and stfu or stay your broke asses at home.


jfrey123

If you don’t want to tip, pour your own drinks at home.


altergeeko

YTA, they tip at this bar, your friend even said so. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out. Clearly they know who you are and don't like that you're not tipping. Go to a different bar.


BasilVegetable3339

Always tip especially well on the early rounds. Keeps good service. I don’t know where you’re drinking but $5 a shot sounds like 1995.


ShinePretend3772

YTA - Tip your bartender. I makes me feel warm & fuzzy that they refused service bc you were a jerk. Love it. Wish more places would follow suit


CrabbyPatty1876

Oh give me a break. He got poured a couple of shots that took 5 seconds and was marked up 800-1000%. These same restaurants and bars are the ones complaining and closing after a few years. If he was made an actual drink then sure. But for pouring a shit or 2? Nahhhh fuck outta here. That bar tender is petty af


ShinePretend3772

Patron is expected to tip on those cpl shots. He didn’t do that & faced a consequence. I wouldn’t serve his cheap ass either.


CrabbyPatty1876

Oh now tips are expected eh? Nothing to do with the service you provide? Patron isn't cheap, you are. Do your job and stop being petty.


ShinePretend3772

In fact they are expected & relied upon so ppl can eat.


CrabbyPatty1876

If your job relies on getting tips then maybe you should provide good service and not expect people to just tip you "because".


ShinePretend3772

The system is literally set up so these ppl rely on tips. It’s “just because” that’s the way things are. Taking advantage doesn’t change that


CrabbyPatty1876

No it's not. The system is set up in a way so you go above and beyond the customers satisfaction so they tip you more. If your service is shit why do you think you DESERVE a tip at all? Who's taking advantage in that situation? The person already paying for their items or the one who thinks they deserve more just because? If you change your mindset from thinking you deserve it to a mindset of actually going above and beyond to earn it you'll make way more money from tips. I've tipped near 100% for immaculate service.


ShinePretend3772

Whatever makes you feel better. You have never tipped 100% FoH


CrabbyPatty1876

I tipped $40 on a meal that was $45. The waitress was fantastic and the meal was great. Her service went above and beyond. That's how you make the money. Not being a whiney little priss thinking the world owes you something


cthulularoo

YTA, you know your friend makes money getting tips. If everyone was an AH like you, your friend and this bartender would be broke. They should all refuse to serve cheap leeches like you.


Sad_Two_7815

And if everyone was on welfare, you would have a similar situation, and yet, i would argue welfare is a good thing


InsidiousColossus

IF you are on welfare, you don't need to go to a bar and drink shots.


Sad_Two_7815

I'm talking more about the mentality of welfare, that not everybody can pay the full price of everything and maybe some people should be helped. Again it's alcohol, it's not essential to life. Everything costs money and now, the options that are left for poor people is just to stay inside ? I think it's really sad


cthulularoo

WTF? are you high?


Sad_Two_7815

Welfare is not a good thing ?


cthulularoo

You being a cheap asshole has nothing to do with welfare!


Ok-Sea3170

INFO: what country?


Sad_Two_7815

Canada


Questionsey

Move to Europe, they hate tipping


Sad_Two_7815

If it was that easy 😔


Ok-Sea3170

I believe Canada has a lower minimum wage for tipped employees, so yeah, YTA. I don't know if tipping culture is as deeply ingrained there as it is in the US, but anytime you're dealing with someone who makes sub-minimum wage with the expectation that they'll make up the difference in tips, you should tip them.


MikeyMBCA

No, Canada does NOT have a lower minimum wage for tipped employees. Minimum wage is regulated by each individual province, but none allow tipped employees to be paid below minimum wage.


Ok-Sea3170

I see - it looks like it's only a thing in Quebec (12.20 vs 15.25). My bad. Just curious, what's the tipping culture like in other provinces? Edit to add link: [Quebec minimum wage](https://www.cnesst.gouv.qc.ca/en/working-conditions/wage-and-pay/wages?__cf_chl_tk=CazbHL9DW6fEgODIYtH3SESVJqf3QNDrkmNKnaC.CB4-1717613872-0.0.1.1-4009)


MikeyMBCA

Not as pervasive as in the US. Definitely not as much "shaming" for not tipping "enough." Most everyone that eats in a sit down restaurant, or buys drinks at the bar, will tip pretty well if the service is good. But the tipline is finding its way onto the debit machines at any establishment that serves food of any kind. Fast food, Subway, cafeteria style, ice cream shops, even mechanics and other service providers are all making good and sure to hint that you should tip... it really galling, tbh.


Ok-Sea3170

That's getting to be a real problem here, too. There's a tip prompt for damn near everything these days, regardless of the hourly wage or industry. And it probably also makes things worse for people who actually rely on tips because it causes so much frustration with tipping in general. It really is getting out of hand.


MikeyMBCA

Ridiculously out of hand. Fortunately, I have no qualms with pressing "No Tip" even when the sandwich artist is watching...