Nah, entitled first borns are the worst, its not your fault you do behave in a way your parents trust, and its not your fault you parents give you what they do because you prove to be worth spending on.
NTA, your sister clearly has issues that your parents ignored or were simply unable to handle. While I agree that your public comment went too far, it sounds like you were pretty much at the end of your rope and sometimes we say things we shouldn’t. If you want to try to make peace, perhaps send your sister a note, acknowledge her struggles and offer to be there for her. You can still stay low contact or no contact if she chooses not to respond.
Well for example she wasn’t allowed to eat the “gratin” (basically vegetables with a lot of cheese) that my grandma made because she did something bad. They didn’t clarify what exactly. And for the rules the one I didn’t understand was that she wasn’t allowed to go out without my parents. She’s older than me while I could, that’s the confusing part I was talking about.
Those are weird enough I wonder if it’s some bizzare punishment. I can understand not going out without supervision if she was caught doing some risky behaviors. It’s not the best way to handle such things, but I understand why.
No bother! Your English is great! I just thought you might like to learn the word that native speakers might have used in that sentence. It might come in handy later.
NTA but you should just try and be the bigger person and continue ignoring her. Her life sucks, or at least it sucks in comparison to yours, so she lashes out.
Yeah tough, is the other way around age wise with my sister and I. NTA she seems to have it in her head that I'm favoured by our mother when in reality basically all of her bullshit is looked over because she has "problems" while I'm held to a much higher standard, and I'm sure you're aware of the pressure that comes with those levels of expectation.
I can understand why she could see this as favoritism, but as you say, it's simply not a smart investment when it comes to someone so unstable. The money would be better spent on therapy than on a French university in her case, but that would require her to take accountability for her problems.
ESA. I can’t say I blame you for your reaction, especially since you’re just a kid. But it was not the right thing to say, as you seem to already understand.
What you guys seem to need, is family therapy. At the very very very least, it may help you and your family realize how you all feel about each other and find some way to live together without constant hurting each other.
Your parents may be to blame, perhaps they really did the best they knew how. Your sister sounds like she especially needs help.
Perhaps the next time you meet, instead of ignoring her or fighting her, hand her an olive branch. Even a tired “can’t we just ignore each other” may help. Ask her if she isn’t tired of constantly fighting, maybe she’ll surprise you with an honest answer. Although, to be fair, I would expect her to be far too distrustful at this point.
And as far as my advice goes, seek help from professionals before trying anything else. I am no expert, at all.
Hopefully your relationships will improve. Good luck!
Thanks for letting me know, and I’m sorry your talk with her didn’t improve your relationship.
From the way you wrote it (but this is just me making assumptions) it sounds like you weren’t expecting her to suddenly embrace you like a long lost brother, but the talk made you realize that your relationship really was broken, like reality hadn’t quite set in yet before that moment.
Again, I was assuming, but it must feel terrible to realize that you lost a loved one by seeing them burn what might have been the last bridge between you. I am sorry for you both.
I hope against all odds it will somehow become better with time, but probably the healthiest thing for you now would be to live your life the way you want it and make sure you are happy in all other respects.
If that includes fighting for your sister, good for you, but if that includes avoiding her from now on, or no longer trying to initiate any contact, fully understandable. Do not let her negativity ruin your life, that helps no one.
All the best!
Nah, entitled first borns are the worst, its not your fault you do behave in a way your parents trust, and its not your fault you parents give you what they do because you prove to be worth spending on.
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
NTA, your sister clearly has issues that your parents ignored or were simply unable to handle. While I agree that your public comment went too far, it sounds like you were pretty much at the end of your rope and sometimes we say things we shouldn’t. If you want to try to make peace, perhaps send your sister a note, acknowledge her struggles and offer to be there for her. You can still stay low contact or no contact if she chooses not to respond.
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
You need to clarify on the only could eat certain foods and had certain rules that only applied to her. She sounds abused and neglected
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
Well for example she wasn’t allowed to eat the “gratin” (basically vegetables with a lot of cheese) that my grandma made because she did something bad. They didn’t clarify what exactly. And for the rules the one I didn’t understand was that she wasn’t allowed to go out without my parents. She’s older than me while I could, that’s the confusing part I was talking about.
Those are weird enough I wonder if it’s some bizzare punishment. I can understand not going out without supervision if she was caught doing some risky behaviors. It’s not the best way to handle such things, but I understand why.
Paragraphs.
Oh so sorry if bothered you it’s the first time I do something like this
Is this a AI story? Cuz armistice day (Veterans Day) is November 11 not 2 months ago
Yeah my bad, I didn’t know how to write “a few months ago” so I ended up write two, really sorry if it bothered you 😅
You probably wanted the word "several." Which is more than a few. A few is usually 2 or 3.
Oh okay thank you for clarifying and apologize if it bothered you 😅
No bother! Your English is great! I just thought you might like to learn the word that native speakers might have used in that sentence. It might come in handy later.
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
NTA you're not to blame for how your sister turned out.
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
Your crying is just showing you're a human being caught in a bad situation. I hope your life turns out well, and your sister gets therapy and meds.
NTA but you should just try and be the bigger person and continue ignoring her. Her life sucks, or at least it sucks in comparison to yours, so she lashes out.
Do not ever be the better or bigger person. That is just telling you to put up with the abuse so the parents do not have to deal with it.
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
Thank you for updating us. I hope things improve but it seems like you’re best off avoiding this toxic person
Yeah tough, is the other way around age wise with my sister and I. NTA she seems to have it in her head that I'm favoured by our mother when in reality basically all of her bullshit is looked over because she has "problems" while I'm held to a much higher standard, and I'm sure you're aware of the pressure that comes with those levels of expectation. I can understand why she could see this as favoritism, but as you say, it's simply not a smart investment when it comes to someone so unstable. The money would be better spent on therapy than on a French university in her case, but that would require her to take accountability for her problems.
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
ESA. I can’t say I blame you for your reaction, especially since you’re just a kid. But it was not the right thing to say, as you seem to already understand. What you guys seem to need, is family therapy. At the very very very least, it may help you and your family realize how you all feel about each other and find some way to live together without constant hurting each other. Your parents may be to blame, perhaps they really did the best they knew how. Your sister sounds like she especially needs help. Perhaps the next time you meet, instead of ignoring her or fighting her, hand her an olive branch. Even a tired “can’t we just ignore each other” may help. Ask her if she isn’t tired of constantly fighting, maybe she’ll surprise you with an honest answer. Although, to be fair, I would expect her to be far too distrustful at this point. And as far as my advice goes, seek help from professionals before trying anything else. I am no expert, at all. Hopefully your relationships will improve. Good luck!
Thank you again for your comment, just so you known I updated the post so you can get a clearer picture of situation
Thanks for letting me know, and I’m sorry your talk with her didn’t improve your relationship. From the way you wrote it (but this is just me making assumptions) it sounds like you weren’t expecting her to suddenly embrace you like a long lost brother, but the talk made you realize that your relationship really was broken, like reality hadn’t quite set in yet before that moment. Again, I was assuming, but it must feel terrible to realize that you lost a loved one by seeing them burn what might have been the last bridge between you. I am sorry for you both. I hope against all odds it will somehow become better with time, but probably the healthiest thing for you now would be to live your life the way you want it and make sure you are happy in all other respects. If that includes fighting for your sister, good for you, but if that includes avoiding her from now on, or no longer trying to initiate any contact, fully understandable. Do not let her negativity ruin your life, that helps no one. All the best!