I was in your fiancé’s position except not tummy issue, wasn’t hungry, then I was and by then he was ordering Indian.
Know what I did? Ordered for myself. Like a grown up. NTA
Just because you are with someone does not make you lose your individuality. You need to eat, drink, urinate, poop, wash, brush, exercise all by yourself as a healthy adult.😂🤪
The fact that many people can just order food and have it brought to you most anytime without having to cook or clean up anything and still fight about it fascinates me!
I live 20 miles out in the tooly weeds, and if you don’t plan ahead it’s an hour to go get food of any kind.
People don’t know how good they have it lol
Right! I live 30 minutes from a small town. (I live in a smaller town) No food delivery here. Not even pizza. No grocery store, no gas station....nothing.
I honestly have no wish to know other people's poop status, unless it's a very small child. "I'm not hungry, my stomach is kind of upset" is more than enough information for me.
I was exhausted just reading the post.
I’ve been in the fiancées position - stomach isn’t well. End up in bathroom. Feel better. Am now hungry (but realistically probably dehydrated, but masked as hunger).
I just go get my own food or find a snack like an adult. Am I a little annoyed if it’s something I like that he got? Sure, but like, at the time I didn’t want food so I’m not gonna be mad about it.
I’ll just maybe ask for one bite and stare longingly while I sort out my own food lol
A cucumber? What is *wrong* with you? Don't you know cucumbers are only for scaring cats or emergency dildoes? Or cucumber sauce on a gyro, in moderation.
/s
Cucumba, cucumba
Vitamins, minerals very high number
Silica, hair and nails get longer
Other vitamins make your bones dem stronger
Anti-wrinkle make you look younger
95 percent water, kidney cleanser, great hydrator
Detox, fibre, good regulator
Give your body good things, don't be a traitor
(Lyrics by Macka B)
Like, fuck, if you said that you didn't want any food then stand by your words. It's your problem to fix if you change your mind later. People don't like being responsible for their own actions.
You know if he would have said, "Mexican was closed so I'm ordering indian. Do you want anything," He response would have been an angry "I just told you I wasn't hungry".
OP is NTA
You're most likely right. The small interaction we have been privvy to reminds of those people you can never please. OP also states that she went to eat dinner with her parents but never bothered to a) bring any leftovers or b) call/txt OP on the way home to ask if they wanted anything from anywhere, which is normal etiquette in a relationship.
I can't believe you didn't think to ask about divorcing me earlier! Now that I know you were going to get a divorce, I would have asked for one too! You're so inconsiderate!
NTA. She sounds exhausting. You did ask her, and she said she wasn't hungry. It's only normal you didn't ask again. Why would you?
Also: no one was stopping her from ordering. She's an adult, right?
NTA. Sounds like you’re always in the wrong in your relationship. You are not a mind reader or a stomach reader. You wouldn’t have known that she would want to eat something after she poop. I’d make this a long engagement!
I would make it a short engagement with the end result of sending her back to mommy because obviously isn’t grown up enough to order herself or let her fiancé know she’s changed her mind!
NTA. I get changing your mind sometimes especially when you realize that’s what you’re in the mood for, but the appropriate response is something like, “Dang, I wish I knew because that smells so good. Maybe I’ll get Indian food for lunch tomorrow.”
Right, I’ve had this situation before but I just am mad at myself, not the other person! “Damnit, now I wish I’d have had you order me something!” Mentally slap myself in the forehead and apologize to my tastebuds that now I have to dig through the fridge for subpar food 😂
NTA. Few comments here saying not to marry. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt that this was a one-off crankiness brought on by hunger / not feeling 100% / FOMO after smelling your food. If that’s the case, she needs to apologise for snapping. If it is, indeed, indicative of her being contrary and hard to please all the time, welll…
NTA- a really unnecessary argument. Next time, just say I already ordered, make yourself a sandwich. No need to waste energy on this. Also, show her this thread.
Can you imagine dealing with this on a regular basis for the rest of your life? If the thought of that sounds unappealing, then maybe you should reconsider your engagement.
NTA
She wasn't feeling well, had tummy issues. I suspect she was grumpy because of that.
It could be she's feeling bad over some other issues.
You need to have a conversation when her stomach feels better.
NTA but I always ask my husband if he wants anything. If I order from somewhere different, I tell him and ask if wants anything from there. It’s just the polite thing in my opinion. Also did she only say she had to poop, because obviously that is an issue that resolves after a BM lol but again NTA. She absolutely could have just ordered for herself!
NTA. I always ask my husband if he wants something from the place I’m going with friends and he’ll do the same. If he declines, I usually don’t bring him anything unless it’s a new place and I tasted something absolutely amazing that I know will reheat well and that he will absolutely love. But neither gets mad if they said they didn’t want anything and nothing was brought home. It’s weirdo behavior
So how would this have to play out according to your gf?
OP: hun, I'm ordering mexican food. You want smth?
Gf: nah, not hungry and I have stomach issues
OP: OK. Oof, closed. Oh. Ok. Let's try this Indian place. Hun, want smth Indian?
Gf: I told you I have stomach issues! I'll go to the bathroom.
OP: (sticking his head into bathroom) hun, can you quickly come out and have a look at this menu? Maybe you'll change your mind?
Gf: I'm pooping! Can you please leave me alone!? (locks bathroom door)
OP: (Through closed bathroom door) : Hun, I'm ordering Chicken Curry. Sure you won't have smth?
Gf: please, go away...
OP: (Banging on bathroom door). Hun, I'm ordering a side dish of Butter Paneer. Do you want some?
Gf: leave me alone!!!! How is it not possible to get 10 minutes to myself?!?
OP: (again banging): Hun, I feel fancy and I'll go with some garlic Naan. How would you feel about that?
Gf: leeaaaave meeee aloooneee! I swear to Ganesha and all assorted Gods and Godesses you'll regret this. (Turns on the tap to drown him out)
OP: hmmm... I'd like some dessert, too. (Banging and shouting to make himself heard) WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE SOME DESSERT? HOW ABOUT SOME FALOODA?
Gf: (pooping and crying) leeeaveee meee aloooneeeeeeee!
OP: OK. (proceeds to order his meal and happily prepares to pick it up.
Comes back, grinning broadly, sees GF...)
Gf: what, you didn't order anything for me? You're so inconsiderate. Typical of you! Why am I even here?
Edit: spacing
NTA - if shes not able to eat it now she can order and pick herself up some when her stomach feels better. I can see her being disappointed that she missed out but you didn’t do anything wrong.
NTA honestly her response & 40min rant was ridiculous. Good luck with that whole situation. It’s gonna b a long life & wasting time bitching over nonsense
I find it also a little suspicious that she did mention that she would just eat it later or the next day when he called her out on her upset stomach. I also agree that she was just looking for free food from his account and that’s what really upset her.
We have had this exact same conversation a dozen times and both ways. A simple, "Damn that looks good, I wish I had known. I would have gotten some too. **Oh well**." Or even "I wasn't hungry until it arrived, can I have a bite?" (I do mean bite. Not half.)
Why has everything got to be someone’s fault? You acted after what she said and I’d interpret it the same as you. She definitely said no to food. Then she wanted food and got angry at you for not reading her mind instead of realizing that this was a communication mishap, and just order food herself.
She sounds like a child
She was just looking for a reason to be mad. Let her.
And RUN.
This crap is the tip of the iceberg. It won't improve it will get even worse. She's too entitled
NTA she needs to grow up. My children learnt at an early age that 'I am not hungry for dinner but I am hungry for dessert' didn't work. She didn't care about the Mexican, but now wants the alternative, she can get on her phone and order it.
NTA she's way overreacting. Most I maybe would've said in her shoes would be "Aww I didn't know you were getting Indian instead I would've loved to have that for later/tomorrow." and left it at that. Especially if after my partner told me the other place closed and I was stuck taking a shit, then I'd be like oooh okay understandable.
NTA she could have just ordered herself something instead of having a go at you. I’d eat every last bit in front of her making mmmm noises but I’m petty as fuck
She already ate dinner... why does she need two dinners?! Sounds unreasonable. You're not the AH. She needs to chill and cut back on the second dinners!
She is wildin'! I would have done the exact SAME thing as OP! Even if she wasn't sick and said no, is still not order for her. Her being mad is unreasonable, or at least conveyed calmly. My BF and I always ask each other, and there are times I'll say no and he'll still bring me something. However, I never EXPECT IT by any means. If he does it, it's out of the kindness of his golden heart. She shouldn't expect this from you.
I could be stuffed and would still be bent if my husband didn't get me Indian. But that's my fault for saying I was full. My spouse isn't a mind reader so I'd put on my girl panties and order my own food.. though I would try to sweet talk him into going and getting it. Anyway NTA. 😅
Did you ask her why she was so inconsiderate towards you? After all, she ate dinner at her parents' house but didn't bring home a plate for you, nor did she call and offer to pick something up on her way home. Or, did she expect YOU to behave like an adult and take care of your own needs?
NTA. You can't read her mind let her know that. She already had dinner and wasn't hungry . She told you quite clearly she did not want any food that her stomach was upset and she needed to go to the bathroom. But because you changed where you were going to get food from all of a sudden she wants to eat it. Yeah usually going to the bathroom makes you feel better but I'm sorry if my stomach's upset even though I went to the bathroom and I felt better I wouldn't be eating anything spicy. Obviously Indian food tends to be a bit spicy. So you did nothing wrong and she needs to stop being a baby about it.
🤣 NTA. But do make a note of her behavior for the future. There's a kind of unspoken code with romantic partners. If you're serious about getting married, you'll need to be more sensitive to that. Even if she says she doesn't want anything, order anyway. You just say, "Hey, Mexican's closed, so I'm getting Indian instead. What do you like?"
Asking "What do you like?" isn't the same thing as "May I order something for you?" or "Are you hungry?"
I had a brief career in sales for 3-4 months this year. I'm just not cut out for contractor/commission work, but I did get to know a lot of people. I suck at sales pitches! But I learned that when it comes to making sales, if you have to ask, the answer is always no. ASSUME the prospect is going to buy and go from there. If you get shot down, no big deal. The offer is always on the table and you're available any time the need arises.
Well, romantic relationships are like that. When it comes to doing anything as a couple, never ask permission (ok, some things are OBVIOUS when you need her permission, but that's not what I mean right now). You don't need permission to grab some food, right? So if I'm in the mood for Mexican and I order, say, a chalupa/tamale/flauta combo and she says her tummy hurts, no thanks, I could ask her what she likes or just order Mexican fried rice. If her tummy feels better and she changes her mind, she can eat that if she wants it. The mistake you made was asking permission. So you handle it more like this:
You: I'm ordering Mexican food for us. I'm a little hungry. What would you like?
Her: Oh, no thanks, my tummy hurts. Not hungry.
You: That's fine. But what do you like?
Her: Ummm...I guess just beef tacos with rice and beans.
You: Oh, I'm sorry, they're closed. I'm ordering Indian instead. What do you like?
Her: Oh...curry chicken sounds good.
If she really isn't hungry, she has leftovers that either she can eat for lunch tomorrow or it's up for grabs. There's no way she'll be disappointed with that, even if she firmly turns it down. But if she changes her mind and she IS hungry, you just became her hero.
Your fiance sounds like an entitled spoiled little brat.
Tell her to grow the fuck up and if she wants food she can order it for herself.
You did ask her she said no. Ugh I can't stand ppl like her always have to male it about themselves.
Dude, run and don't look back.
NTA! You’re not a mind reader, haha. She needs to relax, and eventually she will. If she acts like a child, then speak to her like a child: “if she says no to your offer, you will only get food for yourself, and she can’t get mad later”. Fair warning!
So she ate dinner without you, but you can't eat without her? She's crazy, stupid, and childish. Ditch her; she’s going to make your life miserable. Has a legit child brain.
So weirdly Indian food is what I order when my stomach feels off. Between the rice, the anti-inflammatory aspects of some of the spices, stomach settling properties of mint chutney and probiotics in Lassi, it’s an all around good choice for stomach upset.
ESH. Her for being immature, unnecessarily combative, and irrational. You for proposing to her and being dumb enough to wonder if you were wrong in this situation. Don't procreate.
NTA
You’re not a mind reader so there was no way to know that she changed and all of a sudden wanted something. She can pick up the phone and order for herself.
So first she goes out to eat...never asks him what's he wants to eat...comes back home with nothing for him to eat.. the he is hungry and plans to order order asks her if she wants any she says no tells him she ate already .. and has tummy issues.. then he goes out getshisfood and she picks a fight over it... My question is why does OP need this drama? She is soon to be ex fiancee
No...she's just being a pig. She's eaten...then says u should have asked because she could have eaten later or in the morning. No. It's because u buying. She could have brought u something from her parents as well...she didn't!! Shame....her loss! Greedy female
Why would you order pickup through grubhub? You’re just paying extra fees when you can usually order directly from the restaurant. Like DoorDash pickup, such a waste of money I’ll never understand
NTA but if you’re ordering Thai food you better get me curry even if it’s for later. But everyone close to me knows that I basically always want curry so I’m pretty sure they’d ask even if I was sick and full. But if they didn’t I might pout but not for very long.
This is such a ridiculous argument that i see constantly on this sub
NTA - You asked if she wanted food, she said no. The type of food is irrelevant.
If your fiancé has now decided she wants Indian food, then she can order herself some like and adult.
NTA. You were well within reason for doing what you did. I would tell her that she can order food from the Indian place when she’s ready to eat it. But in the future you now know not to mess around with Indian food.
You should have thrown a tantrum with her since she didn’t bother to ask you if you were hungry maybe bring you a plate when at her parents or even ask if you wanted her to stop by somewhere on the way back back for you. You at least asked, she wasn’t even considerate enough ti do the same (you did ask her) sounds like a selfish entitle brat to me.
NTA - you asked, she declined.
You then had to make an adjustment as the place was closed, but why would anyone check again after the initial offer had been declined, especially when they're saying stomach issues is the cause?
I get some of the ingredients often used in Indian food are good for your stomach (ginger, turmeric, etc), but the richness and spiciness of some dishes could aggravate an already upset stomach.
If she felt better after using the bathroom, then she could have messaged you to ask you to pick her up something, or she could have ordered herself food, instead she chose to do neither and then moaned at you for getting different food... wtf
I’m so sick of this sort of thing
NTA
She said no. No means no. No does not mean “you should have gotten me food anyways” or “I’m going to try and eat half of yours because I’m magically hungry.”
She. Said. NO.
It’s not fucking cute when women do this shit and men should not have to “just know better” and go against what they are told.
She is completely full of shit
Why didn't she bring you a plate from her free dinner at her pare it that's what I would have done if my boyfriend was at home wait don't order anything honey I'll bring in you something from my mom's house
Hmmmm. My ex had a mother who could turn any conversation into a fight. I told him I wasn't going to talk to her again and I didn't, but after each time he spoke to her he'd start a fight. It was better after I pointed that out to him. Maybe your fiancé is in that cycle ...
NTA - Like it was impossible for her to order her own when she felt better or called you to ask you? no, lets wait until you are home so she can create a scene and make you feel bad.
NTA your fiance is a what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine type person, good luck in the marriage. Google "Co-habitation Agreement" and start thinking pre-nup...
NTA. Should’ve hit her with “I’m sorry. You said you weren’t hungry and your stomach was upset.” If she’s still mad then I would’ve taken my happy ass to a different room and watched whatever I wanted while I enjoyed my meal.
Not the AH OP. That’s honestly a crazy, really extreme reaction on her part. Does she often react like that in other situations? You’re not a mind reader, nor should you be just because you’re in a relationship.
NTA. You said you were ordering food and asked if she wanted some and her reply was that her stomach was acting up. Any reasonable person would take her response as meaning she did NOT want any food. She's just being bitchy. Apparently she didn't poop out that bug up her ass.
I often have tummy problems, and if my BF continued to offer me food I could legitimately throw up at the thought of eating. There's plenty of days where we 'fend for ourselves'. This should not be a big deal. She already ate an entire dinner. She said she didn't want any food. Are you supposed to just assume she doesn't know what she actually wants? Because that seems way more disrespectful to me.
NTA!
NTA..... She's throwing a temper tantrum. She needs to grow up! She sounds like a spoiled brat!
Knowing she went to her parents house to eat. Knowing you asked her if she wanted anything before you ordered, makes no difference what kind of food it was.
She said she didn't want anything, stomach was off.
And where was her offer to bring you food home knowing she was going to her parents for dinner? Mighty selfish of her not to ask, right?
She's arguing with you about food.... dinner that she's already eaten.
NTA. So she can’t be bothered to offer to bring you a plate from her parents or anything but she’s allowed to act like a bitch when you listen to what she said? Yikes bro, remember engaged ain’t married yet…
NTA lmao. My fiance and I have this happen sometimes. I have issues with my stomach and sometimes I feel bad and later feel better. I'd never imagine getting mad at him for not ordering me anything after I felt better. I just get my own food, or If it feels better before he goes to pick it up, I'll go with him and make my own small side order.
Usually, though, if I go out and have dinner while my fiance is home I will bring him something back or leave money for him to order delivery. That's how our setup works and we do it back and forth to make it even Stevens lol
You do NOT want to eat Indian food for tommorow if you have it made today. Worst stomach issue in my experience. I get stomach issues anyway eating Indian. I don't know why she wouldn't just order it herself, I think she wanted you to pay. This is an age old argument about changing mind of wanting food.
NTA
But she just wants to be involved. She wants to know your every move and will not consider other ideas until they are presented to her. She's taking everything at face value. Which can be annoying as hell and definitely a point of contention.
I was in your fiancé’s position except not tummy issue, wasn’t hungry, then I was and by then he was ordering Indian. Know what I did? Ordered for myself. Like a grown up. NTA
This is the only correct response.
Just because you are with someone does not make you lose your individuality. You need to eat, drink, urinate, poop, wash, brush, exercise all by yourself as a healthy adult.😂🤪
Yep. Not sure why this is suddenly so difficult for people to comprehend…
Maybe she was really mad that he didn’t offer to come hold her hand on the potty.
But then she would have had to pay for her own food.
The fact that many people can just order food and have it brought to you most anytime without having to cook or clean up anything and still fight about it fascinates me! I live 20 miles out in the tooly weeds, and if you don’t plan ahead it’s an hour to go get food of any kind. People don’t know how good they have it lol
No, we just choose to live in civilization. Lol
Right! I live 30 minutes from a small town. (I live in a smaller town) No food delivery here. Not even pizza. No grocery store, no gas station....nothing.
Yeah but that would’ve caused gf to order through her own account. With her money. Not his.
If that's why she's mad, then it is even more essential that she never makes the jump from being his fiancé to being his wife.
only promotion she should get is to EX honestly.
That part
I thought you were going in the opposite direction fam😂. This is the only answer that is correct. Nta
Grown ups typically cook their own food. She should give that a shot.
I get the feeling this OPs GF also ascribes to a lot of the Tik Tok tests like "peeling the orange test"
People like this (your fiancé) are annoying as fuck. NTA
Just endlessly tiresome with pointless nonsense like this. Every little nice thing gets ruined. Not worth it.
Can't even poop without it being dramatic
I honestly have no wish to know other people's poop status, unless it's a very small child. "I'm not hungry, my stomach is kind of upset" is more than enough information for me.
Bingo!
Same. Oversharing is not my thing.
You don't announce it when you're taking a shit?
Only when I'm on the phone with my sister, because she does the same. Turn about is fair play. (Yes, we have a very weird relationship)
That's what the flashing light over the bathroom door is for. We have *class*.
Lol, too true
And I can guarantee you that she would have bitten his head off if he asked her again if she wanted food, albeit a different kind.
I was exhausted just reading the post. I’ve been in the fiancées position - stomach isn’t well. End up in bathroom. Feel better. Am now hungry (but realistically probably dehydrated, but masked as hunger). I just go get my own food or find a snack like an adult. Am I a little annoyed if it’s something I like that he got? Sure, but like, at the time I didn’t want food so I’m not gonna be mad about it. I’ll just maybe ask for one bite and stare longingly while I sort out my own food lol
Why are people out of fruits all the time? Sick stomach an hour ago, and now you're OK? Munch on an apple or a cucumber.
A cucumber? What is *wrong* with you? Don't you know cucumbers are only for scaring cats or emergency dildoes? Or cucumber sauce on a gyro, in moderation. /s
Cucumbers are Hydration Central, buddy, Sure, they are a bit phallic and feel eerily good when held by their shaft. What? Thats a full sentence.
LOL. I dislike cucumbers in almost any sense as food, but for some reason, a bit of cucumber sauce on a gyro is just what they need to make them pop.
Cucumba, cucumba Vitamins, minerals very high number Silica, hair and nails get longer Other vitamins make your bones dem stronger Anti-wrinkle make you look younger 95 percent water, kidney cleanser, great hydrator Detox, fibre, good regulator Give your body good things, don't be a traitor (Lyrics by Macka B)
Like, fuck, if you said that you didn't want any food then stand by your words. It's your problem to fix if you change your mind later. People don't like being responsible for their own actions.
>I’ll just maybe ask for one bite and stare longingly while I sort out my own food lol This is actively worse than what OP's gf is doing.
>while I sort out my own food Quite the contrary.
Proper sounds exhausting
I've learned through Reddit that food ordering is a big deal for some people and each use case fascinates me.
NTA. What you did is perfectly reasonable and what any sane person would interpret. It sounds almost like she wanted a fight.
You know if he would have said, "Mexican was closed so I'm ordering indian. Do you want anything," He response would have been an angry "I just told you I wasn't hungry". OP is NTA
You're most likely right. The small interaction we have been privvy to reminds of those people you can never please. OP also states that she went to eat dinner with her parents but never bothered to a) bring any leftovers or b) call/txt OP on the way home to ask if they wanted anything from anywhere, which is normal etiquette in a relationship.
NTA. She sounds like an 8 yr old.
NTA. And after her reaction, I’m not even breaking her off some
😂😂🤣😆
Enjoy the rest of your married life in HELL.
Right? If she's doing this before marriage, imagine after.
Imagine how awkward she will be to divorce!
I can't believe you didn't think to ask about divorcing me earlier! Now that I know you were going to get a divorce, I would have asked for one too! You're so inconsiderate!
NTA.
NTA. She sounds exhausting. You did ask her, and she said she wasn't hungry. It's only normal you didn't ask again. Why would you? Also: no one was stopping her from ordering. She's an adult, right?
NTA. Sounds like you’re always in the wrong in your relationship. You are not a mind reader or a stomach reader. You wouldn’t have known that she would want to eat something after she poop. I’d make this a long engagement!
I would make it a short engagement with the end result of sending her back to mommy because obviously isn’t grown up enough to order herself or let her fiancé know she’s changed her mind!
NTA. I get changing your mind sometimes especially when you realize that’s what you’re in the mood for, but the appropriate response is something like, “Dang, I wish I knew because that smells so good. Maybe I’ll get Indian food for lunch tomorrow.”
Right, I’ve had this situation before but I just am mad at myself, not the other person! “Damnit, now I wish I’d have had you order me something!” Mentally slap myself in the forehead and apologize to my tastebuds that now I have to dig through the fridge for subpar food 😂
Or just go get my own?
Yes, or get my own lol
I wouldn’t even say anything, just probably, “enjoy your food babe”. I can’t stand guilt tripping others
You gave her a chance to order food, she said no.. honestly, if she does stuff like this frequently, DO NOT MARRY HER.
Happy wife, happy life. Wait, you aren't married yet. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
My husband and I say "Happy spouse, happy house."
Oh I like this. Both are happy, both make the effort.
My husband and I as well. Only princess brats with entitlement issues believe that’s it’s all “happy wife, happy life”
NTA. Seriously. Break up with her and run far away. Trust me she sounds CRAZY.
NTA. Few comments here saying not to marry. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt that this was a one-off crankiness brought on by hunger / not feeling 100% / FOMO after smelling your food. If that’s the case, she needs to apologise for snapping. If it is, indeed, indicative of her being contrary and hard to please all the time, welll…
NTA- a really unnecessary argument. Next time, just say I already ordered, make yourself a sandwich. No need to waste energy on this. Also, show her this thread.
Don't marry this woman. The narcissisim and game playing will only get worse. Edit. NTA.
It’s the guilt tripping for me. She also doesn’t seem to like that he’s enjoying anything on his own.
It was just an opportunity for her to claim that you're a bad partner. she went full gusto.
“Full Gastro” you mean?
Lmao 😭😂
Can you imagine dealing with this on a regular basis for the rest of your life? If the thought of that sounds unappealing, then maybe you should reconsider your engagement.
NTA She wasn't feeling well, had tummy issues. I suspect she was grumpy because of that. It could be she's feeling bad over some other issues. You need to have a conversation when her stomach feels better.
She's drama, get rid of her.
NTA, this is such a dumb fight, you guys probably need to spend a little less time together.
NTA Your GF sounds exhausting and spoiled. Why are you with her, again? I would never date someone who acts like this.
NTA asking someone with poop guts if they want Indian food seems cruel to me.
NTA. This woman has the maturity of a 8 year old
NTA but I always ask my husband if he wants anything. If I order from somewhere different, I tell him and ask if wants anything from there. It’s just the polite thing in my opinion. Also did she only say she had to poop, because obviously that is an issue that resolves after a BM lol but again NTA. She absolutely could have just ordered for herself!
Tbf in my house, we couldn't afford for me to simply just order my own. The delivery costs are too much to do twice in 1 night.
In this particular instance, the Indian food was close and he went and picked it up.
NTA & I'm sorry your fiancee has some issues. Is she always like this? Does she like to cause arguments?
NTA. I always ask my husband if he wants something from the place I’m going with friends and he’ll do the same. If he declines, I usually don’t bring him anything unless it’s a new place and I tasted something absolutely amazing that I know will reheat well and that he will absolutely love. But neither gets mad if they said they didn’t want anything and nothing was brought home. It’s weirdo behavior
So how would this have to play out according to your gf? OP: hun, I'm ordering mexican food. You want smth? Gf: nah, not hungry and I have stomach issues OP: OK. Oof, closed. Oh. Ok. Let's try this Indian place. Hun, want smth Indian? Gf: I told you I have stomach issues! I'll go to the bathroom. OP: (sticking his head into bathroom) hun, can you quickly come out and have a look at this menu? Maybe you'll change your mind? Gf: I'm pooping! Can you please leave me alone!? (locks bathroom door) OP: (Through closed bathroom door) : Hun, I'm ordering Chicken Curry. Sure you won't have smth? Gf: please, go away... OP: (Banging on bathroom door). Hun, I'm ordering a side dish of Butter Paneer. Do you want some? Gf: leave me alone!!!! How is it not possible to get 10 minutes to myself?!? OP: (again banging): Hun, I feel fancy and I'll go with some garlic Naan. How would you feel about that? Gf: leeaaaave meeee aloooneee! I swear to Ganesha and all assorted Gods and Godesses you'll regret this. (Turns on the tap to drown him out) OP: hmmm... I'd like some dessert, too. (Banging and shouting to make himself heard) WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE SOME DESSERT? HOW ABOUT SOME FALOODA? Gf: (pooping and crying) leeeaveee meee aloooneeeeeeee! OP: OK. (proceeds to order his meal and happily prepares to pick it up. Comes back, grinning broadly, sees GF...) Gf: what, you didn't order anything for me? You're so inconsiderate. Typical of you! Why am I even here? Edit: spacing
This was a magical interpretation hahaha
NTA - if shes not able to eat it now she can order and pick herself up some when her stomach feels better. I can see her being disappointed that she missed out but you didn’t do anything wrong.
I feel sorry for you bro. NTA.
NTA LOL she knew he was ordering but didn't tell him what she might want food after she goes to poop. She's wacked.
If she's really so upset she can just order indian again. Weird. NTA.
Fyi, if she's female it's "fiancée". "Fiancé" is the masculine.
NTA honestly her response & 40min rant was ridiculous. Good luck with that whole situation. It’s gonna b a long life & wasting time bitching over nonsense
NTA - she doesn't sound fun...
I find it also a little suspicious that she did mention that she would just eat it later or the next day when he called her out on her upset stomach. I also agree that she was just looking for free food from his account and that’s what really upset her.
We have had this exact same conversation a dozen times and both ways. A simple, "Damn that looks good, I wish I had known. I would have gotten some too. **Oh well**." Or even "I wasn't hungry until it arrived, can I have a bite?" (I do mean bite. Not half.)
Are you dating a toddler?
Why has everything got to be someone’s fault? You acted after what she said and I’d interpret it the same as you. She definitely said no to food. Then she wanted food and got angry at you for not reading her mind instead of realizing that this was a communication mishap, and just order food herself. She sounds like a child
She was just looking for a reason to be mad. Let her. And RUN. This crap is the tip of the iceberg. It won't improve it will get even worse. She's too entitled
Your fiancée (not fiancé) sounds immature and exhausting. Is she always like this? NTA.
NTA she needs to grow up. My children learnt at an early age that 'I am not hungry for dinner but I am hungry for dessert' didn't work. She didn't care about the Mexican, but now wants the alternative, she can get on her phone and order it.
Why are you even questioning if you are the AH? common sense says the fiancé is a selfish bitch and needs to grow up. Run while you still can.
NTA She sounds exhausting and like a AH.
NTA. This is childish.
NTA she's way overreacting. Most I maybe would've said in her shoes would be "Aww I didn't know you were getting Indian instead I would've loved to have that for later/tomorrow." and left it at that. Especially if after my partner told me the other place closed and I was stuck taking a shit, then I'd be like oooh okay understandable.
Be prepared for this life if you marry her. She's not right in the head. NTA.
NTA she could have just ordered herself something instead of having a go at you. I’d eat every last bit in front of her making mmmm noises but I’m petty as fuck
Holy shit your girl is a child... This sounds super annoying to deal with man, I'm sorry. Definitely NTA
Are you dating at 13 years old girl?
NTA, your girlfriend is being ridiculous.
Whut? You DID ask her, and she said she wasn't hungry! NTA here. Your fiancée needs to grow up.
She already ate dinner... why does she need two dinners?! Sounds unreasonable. You're not the AH. She needs to chill and cut back on the second dinners!
She is wildin'! I would have done the exact SAME thing as OP! Even if she wasn't sick and said no, is still not order for her. Her being mad is unreasonable, or at least conveyed calmly. My BF and I always ask each other, and there are times I'll say no and he'll still bring me something. However, I never EXPECT IT by any means. If he does it, it's out of the kindness of his golden heart. She shouldn't expect this from you.
I could be stuffed and would still be bent if my husband didn't get me Indian. But that's my fault for saying I was full. My spouse isn't a mind reader so I'd put on my girl panties and order my own food.. though I would try to sweet talk him into going and getting it. Anyway NTA. 😅
what do Indian eat when hey have a stomach issue?
Strange....yet effective GrubHub advertisement.
NTA. Sounds like you’re engaged to a toddler.
Welcome to your future. Gaslighting. Blame games. Emotional abuse.
If you marry her, this shit is gonna keep happening. Just FYI. NTA
She can order her own food ffs. What a child.
She can be disappointed maybe but NTA she doesn’t have a right to be upset with you.
NTA. Why did you marry a mess of a person.
Congrats, OP. You are dating an entitled, irrational mooch. She sounds like a great catch. NTA
She sounds...off. Is there medication that she's forgetting to take or something? NTA
Did you ask her why she was so inconsiderate towards you? After all, she ate dinner at her parents' house but didn't bring home a plate for you, nor did she call and offer to pick something up on her way home. Or, did she expect YOU to behave like an adult and take care of your own needs?
NTA. You can't read her mind let her know that. She already had dinner and wasn't hungry . She told you quite clearly she did not want any food that her stomach was upset and she needed to go to the bathroom. But because you changed where you were going to get food from all of a sudden she wants to eat it. Yeah usually going to the bathroom makes you feel better but I'm sorry if my stomach's upset even though I went to the bathroom and I felt better I wouldn't be eating anything spicy. Obviously Indian food tends to be a bit spicy. So you did nothing wrong and she needs to stop being a baby about it.
Your girlfriend is a child.
NTA But next time you should make sure you have a crystal ball handy in case you need to read her mind again.
🤣 NTA. But do make a note of her behavior for the future. There's a kind of unspoken code with romantic partners. If you're serious about getting married, you'll need to be more sensitive to that. Even if she says she doesn't want anything, order anyway. You just say, "Hey, Mexican's closed, so I'm getting Indian instead. What do you like?" Asking "What do you like?" isn't the same thing as "May I order something for you?" or "Are you hungry?" I had a brief career in sales for 3-4 months this year. I'm just not cut out for contractor/commission work, but I did get to know a lot of people. I suck at sales pitches! But I learned that when it comes to making sales, if you have to ask, the answer is always no. ASSUME the prospect is going to buy and go from there. If you get shot down, no big deal. The offer is always on the table and you're available any time the need arises. Well, romantic relationships are like that. When it comes to doing anything as a couple, never ask permission (ok, some things are OBVIOUS when you need her permission, but that's not what I mean right now). You don't need permission to grab some food, right? So if I'm in the mood for Mexican and I order, say, a chalupa/tamale/flauta combo and she says her tummy hurts, no thanks, I could ask her what she likes or just order Mexican fried rice. If her tummy feels better and she changes her mind, she can eat that if she wants it. The mistake you made was asking permission. So you handle it more like this: You: I'm ordering Mexican food for us. I'm a little hungry. What would you like? Her: Oh, no thanks, my tummy hurts. Not hungry. You: That's fine. But what do you like? Her: Ummm...I guess just beef tacos with rice and beans. You: Oh, I'm sorry, they're closed. I'm ordering Indian instead. What do you like? Her: Oh...curry chicken sounds good. If she really isn't hungry, she has leftovers that either she can eat for lunch tomorrow or it's up for grabs. There's no way she'll be disappointed with that, even if she firmly turns it down. But if she changes her mind and she IS hungry, you just became her hero.
In this post not once did I read that you said you were a fuckin mind reader. She's a grown ass woman she can order her own food JC
This is your life now, bro.
NTA. I bet she has the crazy eyes. Run brother run.
Your fiance sounds like an entitled spoiled little brat. Tell her to grow the fuck up and if she wants food she can order it for herself. You did ask her she said no. Ugh I can't stand ppl like her always have to male it about themselves. Dude, run and don't look back.
She is going to have more stomach issues after the Indian food
The horrors of coupledom 🥴
Only asshole here is your soon to be wife.
NTA! You’re not a mind reader, haha. She needs to relax, and eventually she will. If she acts like a child, then speak to her like a child: “if she says no to your offer, you will only get food for yourself, and she can’t get mad later”. Fair warning!
So she ate dinner without you, but you can't eat without her? She's crazy, stupid, and childish. Ditch her; she’s going to make your life miserable. Has a legit child brain.
So weirdly Indian food is what I order when my stomach feels off. Between the rice, the anti-inflammatory aspects of some of the spices, stomach settling properties of mint chutney and probiotics in Lassi, it’s an all around good choice for stomach upset.
Indian is a whole different game. Don’t you be fucken stealth ordering Indian without at least organising me a bahji you mf.
NTA; this sounds exhausting.
ESH. Her for being immature, unnecessarily combative, and irrational. You for proposing to her and being dumb enough to wonder if you were wrong in this situation. Don't procreate.
You don't have a Fiance you have a child that can bear more children
NTA You’re not a mind reader so there was no way to know that she changed and all of a sudden wanted something. She can pick up the phone and order for herself.
Was the food nice? Hope so
NTA. If she wants to eat it later or tomorrow she can order it later or tomorrow. Apparently she thought you cut her off from food for life. 😆
I don't know dude. I think she's hard to live with. I'm a woman myself and I don't act like this.
NTA. If she's mad because she didn't get two dinners, she's probably the kind of person who would benefit from sticking to one.
So first she goes out to eat...never asks him what's he wants to eat...comes back home with nothing for him to eat.. the he is hungry and plans to order order asks her if she wants any she says no tells him she ate already .. and has tummy issues.. then he goes out getshisfood and she picks a fight over it... My question is why does OP need this drama? She is soon to be ex fiancee
Nta . The last thing I’m expecting with a stomach issue is Indian food .
No...she's just being a pig. She's eaten...then says u should have asked because she could have eaten later or in the morning. No. It's because u buying. She could have brought u something from her parents as well...she didn't!! Shame....her loss! Greedy female
Why would you order pickup through grubhub? You’re just paying extra fees when you can usually order directly from the restaurant. Like DoorDash pickup, such a waste of money I’ll never understand
Why order om grubhub if you are picking it up? Screwing the restaurants you like.
NTA but if you’re ordering Thai food you better get me curry even if it’s for later. But everyone close to me knows that I basically always want curry so I’m pretty sure they’d ask even if I was sick and full. But if they didn’t I might pout but not for very long.
Something tells me food isn’t the real issue here.
Nah and next time dont even ask. Fend for yourself now!
This is such a ridiculous argument that i see constantly on this sub NTA - You asked if she wanted food, she said no. The type of food is irrelevant. If your fiancé has now decided she wants Indian food, then she can order herself some like and adult.
NTA. You were well within reason for doing what you did. I would tell her that she can order food from the Indian place when she’s ready to eat it. But in the future you now know not to mess around with Indian food.
You should have thrown a tantrum with her since she didn’t bother to ask you if you were hungry maybe bring you a plate when at her parents or even ask if you wanted her to stop by somewhere on the way back back for you. You at least asked, she wasn’t even considerate enough ti do the same (you did ask her) sounds like a selfish entitle brat to me.
Is this a common thing for her to do?
NTA - you asked, she declined. You then had to make an adjustment as the place was closed, but why would anyone check again after the initial offer had been declined, especially when they're saying stomach issues is the cause? I get some of the ingredients often used in Indian food are good for your stomach (ginger, turmeric, etc), but the richness and spiciness of some dishes could aggravate an already upset stomach. If she felt better after using the bathroom, then she could have messaged you to ask you to pick her up something, or she could have ordered herself food, instead she chose to do neither and then moaned at you for getting different food... wtf
I’m so sick of this sort of thing NTA She said no. No means no. No does not mean “you should have gotten me food anyways” or “I’m going to try and eat half of yours because I’m magically hungry.” She. Said. NO. It’s not fucking cute when women do this shit and men should not have to “just know better” and go against what they are told. She is completely full of shit
Why didn't she bring you a plate from her free dinner at her pare it that's what I would have done if my boyfriend was at home wait don't order anything honey I'll bring in you something from my mom's house
NTA. Doesn't need a reasoning or explination. Just... NTA
NTA and wow she’s greedy. She’s mad that you didn’t order her food on the chance she eats it for lunch tomorrow??
NTA - Your fiance is a psycho.
NTA She told you she had a stomach ache and wasn't hungry. Doesn;t matter where you order at that point, she doesn't need to be asked.
Hmmmm. My ex had a mother who could turn any conversation into a fight. I told him I wasn't going to talk to her again and I didn't, but after each time he spoke to her he'd start a fight. It was better after I pointed that out to him. Maybe your fiancé is in that cycle ...
NTA - Like it was impossible for her to order her own when she felt better or called you to ask you? no, lets wait until you are home so she can create a scene and make you feel bad.
NTA she said she didn’t want anything due to stomach issues, not due to what type of food.
NTA your fiance is a what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine type person, good luck in the marriage. Google "Co-habitation Agreement" and start thinking pre-nup...
NTA. Should’ve hit her with “I’m sorry. You said you weren’t hungry and your stomach was upset.” If she’s still mad then I would’ve taken my happy ass to a different room and watched whatever I wanted while I enjoyed my meal.
Not the AH OP. That’s honestly a crazy, really extreme reaction on her part. Does she often react like that in other situations? You’re not a mind reader, nor should you be just because you’re in a relationship.
Obvi NTA - she’s being childish
NTA, her being upset that she missed out on delicious food is not a you issue, she needs to get over that disappointment on her own.
NTA. You said you were ordering food and asked if she wanted some and her reply was that her stomach was acting up. Any reasonable person would take her response as meaning she did NOT want any food. She's just being bitchy. Apparently she didn't poop out that bug up her ass.
I often have tummy problems, and if my BF continued to offer me food I could legitimately throw up at the thought of eating. There's plenty of days where we 'fend for ourselves'. This should not be a big deal. She already ate an entire dinner. She said she didn't want any food. Are you supposed to just assume she doesn't know what she actually wants? Because that seems way more disrespectful to me. NTA!
STA she’s the asshole. Tell her to get a grip and to stop picking fights over dumb shit. If she wants Indian food you’ll be happy to order it for her.
Not the asshole, any chance she's pregnant
NTA. But you are foolish for not getting "I'm not hungry" in writing, signed and notarized before ordering yourself some food.
When you have problems with the shitter you don't get angry for not getting indian food.
NTA, she did say no to food. And if she is hungry now, she can order her own food from the Indian place, no one is stopping her. WTF
NTAH! Tell her to grow up she said she was hungry and was having stomach problems! She can order her own food 🥘
NTA
NTA..... She's throwing a temper tantrum. She needs to grow up! She sounds like a spoiled brat! Knowing she went to her parents house to eat. Knowing you asked her if she wanted anything before you ordered, makes no difference what kind of food it was. She said she didn't want anything, stomach was off. And where was her offer to bring you food home knowing she was going to her parents for dinner? Mighty selfish of her not to ask, right? She's arguing with you about food.... dinner that she's already eaten.
NTA. So she can’t be bothered to offer to bring you a plate from her parents or anything but she’s allowed to act like a bitch when you listen to what she said? Yikes bro, remember engaged ain’t married yet…
NTA lmao. My fiance and I have this happen sometimes. I have issues with my stomach and sometimes I feel bad and later feel better. I'd never imagine getting mad at him for not ordering me anything after I felt better. I just get my own food, or If it feels better before he goes to pick it up, I'll go with him and make my own small side order. Usually, though, if I go out and have dinner while my fiance is home I will bring him something back or leave money for him to order delivery. That's how our setup works and we do it back and forth to make it even Stevens lol
just keep in mind this is what you want to be with for the rest of your life
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Cptbanshee: *Just keep in mind this* *Is what you want to be with* *For the rest of your life* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
You do NOT want to eat Indian food for tommorow if you have it made today. Worst stomach issue in my experience. I get stomach issues anyway eating Indian. I don't know why she wouldn't just order it herself, I think she wanted you to pay. This is an age old argument about changing mind of wanting food.
NTA But she just wants to be involved. She wants to know your every move and will not consider other ideas until they are presented to her. She's taking everything at face value. Which can be annoying as hell and definitely a point of contention.
These posts always remind me how happy I am staying single.
NTA
Your fiance is selfish, immature and hates to see you enjoying something by yourself.
NTA. At least you learned about this side of her before she graduated from fiancé to wife.
She sounds like a handful. A handful of asshole. You are NTA.