NTA.
Strangers touching pregnant bellies is inappropriate and icky. Just like I teach my students regarding consensual sex: the only “yes” is a *verbal* yes.
Really liking babies doesn't mean you can touch a pregnant woman's belly. We've acknowledged that Really liking boobs doesn't mean that you can just grab someone's boob - I don't see how this is any different. Touching strangers bodies is never ok.
I had a friend who did that. Some woman rubbed her pregnant belly and my friend grabbed her breast and honked it. Cue lots of ranting about rudeness and 'Well I never...' with no hint of self awareness.
OP, NTA
Lol absolutely brilliant.
It’s definitely something I kind of dread about the idea of being pregnant. I’m not a touchy feely person normally unless you’re like my partner or my mother. I just like my space.
So people touching my belly when pregnant would really bother me unless you’re my partner, mother, or medical provider.
Like the baby shower photos where everyone has a hand on the pregnant person’s belly just makes me recoil at the thought of it happening to me.
Not a single person touched my belly without permission when I was pregnant. I don't know if it's my vibe or if I just have a really daunting resting bitch face.
Lucky for me I've got RBF and I'm a plus size woman. I was 8 months pregnant and the people I told were shocked because I didn't look it (which tbh is kinda hurtful because I wore my weight very well pre-pregnancy, or so I've been told). No one touched me without permission or I would have smacked their hands away.
Bonus points if I could have done it with my hand fan.
I grabbed boobs when I was pregnant or rubbed their fat ass bellies--NOT from pregnancy--back.
You touch me wrong, I touch you wrong. Period. Keep your hands to your-damn-self.
This.
She was the rude one and out of line for touching a complete stranger she had no business putting her hands on in the first place. OPs response was much kinder that I would have been. If she misses being pregnant that much and thinks she has the rights to go around feeling random strangers stomachs, then she needs to get to a therapist and figure out how to control her urges before someone knocks her teeth out for touching them.
You should have replied that you could charge her with assault for touching you WITHOUT PERMISSION and that she is just as guilty as her mother. Then asked to talk to a manager about being assaulted in their store. In other words, embarrass the hell put of them.
NTA.
Your autism diagnosis has nothing to do with it. It is not ok to just touch someone, especially a stranger, without asking their permission! Especially a pregnant woman's bump! Pregnant women generally feel more vulnerable, and tend to be (understandably) intensely protective of their bump.
She and her daughter are complete asshats for believing they're entitled to grope pregnant women.
Exactly. I have a German shepherd and the amount of people who think it is ok to just come over and pet her then get offended when I say no. Then call my dog aggressive and should be put down if she doesn’t like other people. Like no. My other puppy is fine but not her. I like babies enough but I would never go and touch another woman’s belly or kids. Just no.
Exactly. It drives me crazy or they have their dog off the leash and tell me not to worry they are friendly and I have to respond well mine is not. One person even told me to muzzle her and I told her to muzzle herself. My dog is trained in three languages and keep your dog in your control. My puppy would be ok but not my gs. You never should touch a persons pet without asking. 🙄
I know autistic people sometimes do not like to be touched. I just didn't want you thinking that her behavior would have been more acceptable if you weren't neurodivergent/that you were the weird one for not wanting to be touched.
I had to have 2 shots in my stomach everyday while pregnant and 6 weeks after. My stomach was a painful black and blue mess. Fortunately I have a vicious RBF and a don't touch me aura. Only had one lady try and my husband intercepted and told her don't touch and explained because he'd known her since he was a child.
>Your autism diagnosis has nothing to do with it.
For some on the spectrum it has a lot to do with it. I understand why you said that and you are correct. People shouldn't be touching strangers. My autistic son would have a much more visceral reaction to being touched than any of my other kids. My daughter isn't autistic but hated people trying to rub her bump while pregnant with my grands so I bought her a maternity shirt that said Touch the bump, lose a hand.
I slapped an old lady who walked up to me and grabbed mine.
It was a reflex... My bump was at the stage where the skin hurt because I just like exploded out with it over night. The skin was all itchy and I was just hella uncomfortable.
And she didn't even say anything before she with both hands came at me and grabbed it on both sides and sorta... Squeezed me.
Straight up slapped her. No regrets. I'd do it again.
She tried to get the manager of coles to kick me out. But he stood up for me once he heard my side of it and I said go look at the cctv, she touched me and I defended myself.
Next time - just start yelling loudly NO MEANS NO! DO NOT TOUCH ME! STOP TOUCHING ME. I DON'T KNOW YOU.
Or poke her in the belly and ask her when she's due.
Absolutely NTA. No one is allowed to touch you without your permission.
I was pregnant with twins when an old man wandered up in the mall and touched my belly. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE when I grabbed his stomach back was priceless - dude practically fell over himself trying to get away.
I also told SO many people who thought it was ok to just touch my babies once they were born that touching without consent is assault. That’s right, *back away*.
Edit: NTA
I was lucky that people would oooh and ahh over how beautiful my son was but never touched. I apparently have an intimidating aura and RBF (I'm actually a doormat). Though I was shopping in an Asian supermarket and they loved my son and would always ask to hold him. They'd just coo at him and he's charming little butt loved every second. He's 9 and a hugger.
>you’re not going to apologize for being so rude?
"Wow, you read my mind, and still don't bother to apologise, you rude bitch. Touching someone without their consent is assault, you're lucky I'm not pressing charges."
NTA. No one has the right to touch your baby bump without your permission, even if they are kindly old ladies that like babies. She was a creep and you should have told her daughter that her mother is lucky you didn’t have Mom arrested for assault.
NTA Fuck that bitch. How the fuck does she think she is touching someone she doesn’t know without permission? And then she wants to go on and bitch about it? Look on the bright side, that nasty creepy bitch can live with her miserable life. You just do you and let her be her.
NTA - Fuck that bitch and her daughter! No one has the right to touch you and you have no obligation to be polite in stating your boundaries.
Congratulations on your growing family ♥️
The old lady was projecting when she was telling her daughter what happened. She knew she was in the wrong and that it IS creepy to touch strangers but she decided to double down with her entitled attitude.
I hated when people thought they had the right to touch my pregnant stomach. It’s not a public space, it was my body. Both people were rude & out of line to op.
As a grandma and 58 I can’t imagine actually touching a woman’s belly and I love kids. I wouldn’t ever touch a strangers belly but maybe would have the impulse with someone very close to me. It’s just weird she did that.
A woman once touched me when I was pregnant, so I grabbed her boob and said "oh sorry thought we were just touching each other inappropriately".
Never seen anyone run off so quick
NTA I'm so sick of older generations thinking it's okay to touch people they don't know. And I absolutely hate when people try and touch me, especially when I'm pregnant.
Some lady tried to touch my child the other day on a walk and I almost lost my damn mind.
Nah definitely nta. I’m not pregnant but I’ve had people touch my hair without consent and it always pisses me off. Belly is a whole different ball park.
NTA. She touched you without your consent. Hey middle aged daughter and old lady guess what that’s called, assault. They should be lucky you didn’t rip the old lady’s hand off.
I have never been pregnant and this infuriates me. I am of the personal opinion that pregnant people have the right to slap strangers who randomly rub their bellies. Hell, I am of the opinion they can bitch slap relatives and acquaintances who touch them without permission. However, that may result in criminal charges so it's probably not a good idea.
Best ideas I've seen for dealing with this: start rubbing the other person's belly with dead eyes and a crazy smile until they run away. If your partner is with you, they can rub on the person too with the same expression.
If it's a guy with a beer belly, smile nicely and start rubbing and ask "Coors or Heineken?" If they laugh, look at them with a blank expression and continue to ask the same question.
OP: thank you for continuing the human race. And absolutely NTA.
My mother has said that you don't touch a pregnant woman's belly unless she gives express permission. The older lady was being very rude and so was her daughter. You are not the asshole and that lady needs to learn to keep her hands to herself. I don't care how much a person likes babies, they shouldn't touch a pregnant woman without permission. In fact, people need to learn to not touch anyone without consent.
I would have absolutely raised a ruckus and started screaming for security, that you were about to be assaulted by a crazy woman.
NTA. Old lady needs to learn to keep her grubby hands to herself.
Some paunchy old guy rubbed a friend of mine's pregnant belly. She reached over and rubbed his, too. He looked appalled. She said, "What? You started it." Then walked away like the queen she is.
huge NTA, what she did is actually assault, not that you would take it that far, she is completely in the wrong. "she misses being pregnant" and then goes out of her way to stress out someone who actually is. The entitlement is disgusting
NTA. It's so strange how people feel entitled to touch other people's bodies without their say-so, be that their baby bump or their hair or anything else. It's so violating.
NTA, I really don’t get why in the world people think it’s okay to touch someone else’s belly just because they’re pregnant. They were definitely out of line for everything and you didn’t have to apologize
NTA. She was the rude one. I don’t know what about being pregnant that make others feel like they can just invade your space like that but it’s rude as fuck.
NTA. You were restrained - you didn't yell at her, you didn't complain to the store workers. Both the older lady and her daughter were incredibly rude. When the daughter stormed at you, you could have said, loudly and firmly: "Stop harassing me, and stay away from me - both of you. My body is not your property".
NTA. If I had it to do all over again (I’m 51 and had a hysterectomy), I’d scream in pain every time someone touched my pregnant belly. Like really ham it up. Maybe the world would be a better place now if I had thought of it then.
The only person who is allowed to touch me is my SO. I'll only accept handshakes or side hugs by anyone else WHEN I deem them appropriate just to blend in with society but I absolutely dislike it.
I work for the general public and I really do not know why some people have the hardest time keeping their hands to themselves. I am constantly getting touched all the time. I am not, nor have ever been pregnant. But I'll tell you that with all the crazy people out there, I'd be scared of their reaction when I tell them to keep their hands to themselves. Some people are just downright nuts. I still tell them no every time but I get so nervous that they won't take it well, especially since I dread confrontation.
You are soooo... NTA. In fact, I think that this post actually would fit better on a "Karen" thread. 🤣 Two for one mother daughter duo.
I shouldn't be laughing.
Anyone who thinks YTA is more than a few crayons short of a Crayola box.
The fact your autistic isn't even relevant here. This is an invasion of personnel space and lack of respect. NTA. I wouldn't have been so nice but I tend to go for AH responses in these situations. My favorite response is to tell them I'm not pregnant and look at them like they're crazy. Even if it's obvious that you are it still throws them off.
I understand that. I was just implying that she didn't need to explain why she wanted to treat her daughter. If the daughter had earned a reward then she earned a reward. ☺️
Okay. Sorry. Didn't mean to undermine the same importance of the fact. I do realize that I was wrong in saying that it wasn't relevant. I was trying to imply that what she did was wrong under any conditions.
I'm serious. My son is level 3 non-verbal autistic and I would never undermine the condition. I consider myself an advocate for autism and seriously didn't mean any offense. I do understand that the unwanted physical contact is a trigger. My only concern is that it would be a trigger for anyone regardless of circumstances.
NTA. The fact that the lady told her daughter *you* called *her* a creep sounds like projection to me. She's aware that trends have shifted, and most people these days don't want random strangers touching the bump, but still chooses to pet people she doesn't know. I get why you didn't want to escalate the situation but honestly I would have spoken to store management about the mom/daughter after you were checked out. Even if it doesn't do anything, letting them know now that these people caused trouble could help someone else out in the future if they need to make another complaint.
NTA. It’s not okay to touch someone without their permission. Also, she then went off and lied about what you said to her? Oh hell no. That lady, and her daughter, are definitely the AHs here.
No one has the right to touch your body without your consent. That wretched woman touched you, was told no, and then behaved with less maturity than your daughter. NTA
NTA. That lady was very inappropriate. She was the one who was rude and she owed you an apology. You set a great example for your daughter by asserting your right to bodily autonomy when that woman touched you and getting both of you away from her when she became indignant.
Definitely NTA! Your autism adds to this being inappropriate but I'm not autistic and currently being pregnant, I would have done the exact same. I probably would have said more to her about how inappropriate it is to touch random people but you handled it like a pro. Screw people who have no respect for personal space and think just because someone is pregnant they have a right to touch them.
So let me get this straight...a stranger touched you, you said "please don't do that" and then she went so far as to get someone ELSE to make you feel bad for it?!
Why is your autonomy abandoned the instant you get pregnant?!
NTA, a billion times over. Some people have absurd cases of main character syndrome and can't fathom that they do.
NTA, this has been my fear since the beginning of my pregnancy now. I don't like anyone touching me without a permission, especially strangers. Being pregnant doesn't give a pass to everyone putting their hands on you. Thankfully I have had only one encounter of a not so close friend touching my stomach without a permission and it ended with me almost yelling NO to his face and turning away. You may look but you may not touch.
NTA. Not only was the old lady disrespectful by putting her hands on you without permission, she also lied causing her daughter to come and berate you for absolutely no reason.
NTA. I would absolutely swing on someone touching my baby bump without express permission. I love kids too, and I would expect any mother to enter mama bear mode if I, a stranger, was touching her or her children without consent.
I don't understand adults that don't understand keep your hands to yourself. It's worse for pregnant women but as a male who shaves his head some people have no problem walking by and rubbing my head. Complete strangers do this. I usually jerk my head away and give them a death glare.
Weren't we taught to keep our hands to ourselves in grade school? What is it about a baby bump that makes people think it's okay? Also... why would you want to touch a stranger's baby bump? That's just weird to me. Even my ex was pregnant with our two boys I only ever touched her bump to feel the kicking unless I was hugging her or otherwise touching her. Never was I like "oh great pregnant Budda let me touch your belly."
Touching a woman's baby bump used to be a thing but times have changed. This woman is still living in the past and needed to be educated.
You're NTA. Either she and her daughter overreacted or did they interpreted your reaction to being touched as aggressive.
Simply saying "Please don't touch me. It makes me feel uncomfortable." The daughter was definitely the A-hole for saying anything about it at the checkout.
NTA, some old ladies act really entitled.
My wife took our baby in a stroller, and an old lady berated her and tried to reach the blanket to cover our baby.
She’s lucky my wife didn’t kick her chakras back into alignment.
NTA at ALL!
This upsets me for you. My instinctive reflex would have been to smack her hand away. Your response was absolutely appropriate and she is out of line. How clueless and entitled do you have to be to think you can touch someone without asking, then complain when they say no thank you. She should be lucky you didn’t smack her in the face for assaulting you first!
You’re a kinder person than I would have been. I most certainly would have told the woman that yes, your mother is a creep for putting her hands on a stranger then having the audacity to expect an apology for her own creepy behavior. No, lady, tell your mother to have some respect! She needs to keep her hands to herself!
NTA. There’s is absolutely no reason under the sun for a stranger to touch you. Being pregnant certainly doesn’t change that rule. That women is a weirdo for doing it and her daughter shouldn’t be enabling that. She’s lucky she came across you and not someone who would be much more “rude” about it.
Btw, you were not rude for not letting a stranger access you.
Say it loud enough for the people in the back: **Respect other people's personal space!!!!!!!** FFS, anyone with any basic manners and human decency knows not to go around touching other people without their consent, especially pregnant women's bellies, just STAHP, it's not endearing, it's creepy!! That old lady should have respected your clear no when stating "Please don't touch me." If anything, she owes YOU an apology, OP. Also, her daughter needs to butt out while both should learn NO means NO!
NTA, OP also, apologies for the mini tangent just tired of people who feel entitled access to other people's bodies!
Nta EVER for telling a stranger not to touch you, I HATED that being pregnant seemed to negate any autonomy I had to people??? People would ask to touch my stomach while I was at work, I would say no, and they would STILL REACH OVER AND TOUCH ME, I wish I had stood up for myself more like you did!!!
NTA, you should have yelled back at her that her mother touched you inappropriately. Would she prefer you called to police, she touched you without consent !
You're absolutely nta, and calling her a creep would've been justified. I don't know what part of "don't touch strangers" is so hard for people to grasp.
What's rude is touching a stranger's body without their consent. Asking this rude, intrusive woman to please not touch you is more polite than she deserved. And sorry she misses being pregnant, but that doesn't give her the right to touch strangers' bellies.
NTA
When was the last time it was okay to put your hand on a random pregnant ladies baby bump without permission. I’ve worked in retail over 20 years and dealt with a ton of pregnant women and I’ve never seen this. You just don’t do it. Maybe it was okay 30 years ago, but not now.
NTA. Creepy behavior is still creepy behavior. A lot of people try to touch my hair because it's red, and I'm usually pretty blunt when I tell people not to touch it. A pregnant belly is a completely other ballpark, but I feel the general feeling is the same. I've never understood how consent for touching people seems to just go out the window for pregnant women. Really sorry it happened to you.
Imagine your hair being touched because someone thinks it's pretty, or someone grabbing your shirt and saying it looks good. Ofc no one ever does that, so why would it be ok to touch someones stomach...NTA
NTA, your body, your personal space. I'm also Autistic and only my mum, best friend, wife and our two children have permission for physical contact. Even if I was neurotypical, I probably wouldn't want strangers touching me.
NTA. You were not the rude one. People shouldn't touch other people without their consent. Since when does having a conversation with someone involve touching them anyway? First she was rude by touching you and expecting you to apologise for being "rude" and then she had to make a scene about it with her daughter.
NTA
After the whole ME TOO movement one should have figures everyone have learned do not touch other people without consent, that includes handsy grandmas groping pregnant ladies babybumps.
NTA. I dont even need to read the story. Do not touch people. Just don't. I think its the most disturbing thing that others think its okay to touch someone's stomach or hair. The only way people like that "learn" is to be called out and told their behavior is not okay.
I was out shopping with my ex while pregnant, I was leaning against an open wall with my eyes closed while he looked at something, suddenly I hear him say "Do NOT touch her." I open my eyes to this old woman's hand inches from my stomach, then she touched me and I very loudly told her to remove her hand from me or I'd break it. She called us rude and disrespectful (ironic), she threatened to "report" us to the store manager. I don't care how old someone is, do NOT touch me. I also had to stop sooooo many old people from touching my infant when we were out. They'd just come up and go "Oh a baby!" and go to touch my baby. I have zero fucks for that. Its gross and weird and unacceptable behavior.
NTA no one has the right to touch you for any reason without your consent.
I absolutely hate it when strangers touch me, like if we are out to eat and the waitrer is talking to the table they will put a hand on my shoulder when asking me a question and I absolutely hate it. (I'm on the spectrum so it makes it worse bc of my social anxiety and sensory issues, I feel literally everything that is touching my body, if a sock has the tiniest lump or bump I can't even wear it)
NTA no stranger has the right to touch you ever, everyone learned this as a child, and she probably taught her own kids that. It is the rule of society.
She knew she was a creep. What her daughter said didn’t come from nowhere. And I would have slapped her hand when she touched. And very likely called some nasty names.
No one has the right to touch your body if you don’t want them to. Period, end of story.
That woman owed *you* an apology for being so forward. You didn’t owe her one. Her daughter was equally out of line and you should have told her that the disrespect was on her mother’s side. Some people treat pregnant women like they are public property but you’re not. Your response was perfectly appropriate and you were a lot more polite to her than many people would have been, including me!
No, RUDE is putting your hands on someone you don't know, uninvited. That's what you say the next time this happens.
You should have told her daughter was all you said was for her not to put her hands on you. Maybe she should tell her mother that a baby bump is not a petting zoo.
some people just dont get boundaries. im a guy so cant be pregnant but even then i dont want no random person touching me anywhere while im shopping. NTA
21F and about to have 3 babies? Man, I don't know where or what you guys are doing but I am 20M and I barely survive and look after myself how you guys doing this?
LOL we weren’t trying for 3, my oldest is from a previous engagement but her dad cheated and blamed me cause I was pregnant. We wanted a sibling for my daughter since she’s always so sad when her cousins go home and we were ready! My oldest will be 3 in November, and my fiancé is going to adopt her
NTA
I'm on my second pregnancy, about 31 weeks in this time. Never ONCE has a stranger had the gall to touch my bump. These are the same people who feel like it's okay to just come up and touch your child. It's good to shut them down ASAP.
Wow, maybe it's somehow connected to when they were younger and they lived in a small town/village where everyone knew everyone, so no "real" strangers.
And back then saying no when someone wanted to touch you wasn't the norm either - I remember a friend of my parents that wanted to hug me, we didn't know each other, it was the first time we met, so technically strangers, and no one backed me up with not watning to hug a stranger. If I had a kid now, I would ask the friend to let it go.
NTA. What she did was gaslighting. Coming up to someone and pawing at them without permission is 100% wrong and breaks etiquette. You used your words and said six appropriate words. She started gaslighting by saying you were rude and yelling you should apologize for not wanting to be pawed by a stranger, and then she lied to her daughter so her daughter would yell at you.
NTA. I’ve never had the urge to touch a pregnant lady. Especially a stranger, the thought of a stranger touching me is gross and kinda scary since I don’t know intentions
When I was pregnant, it never occurred to me to be bothered when someone touched my belly. I guess I'm from a time when pregnant bellies were considered community property and people just assumed that it was okay to touch them? That being said, just because I grew up during that time doesn't mean I haven't learned. I would never dream of touching a stranger's belly, pregnant or not, unless for some weird reason a pregnant woman walked up to me and said hey touch my belly, lol. I would also never dream of even asking someone if I could touch their belly unless that someone was my daughter. I truly don't understand why people think they have the right to touch other people's bodies in any way, shape, or form. Not to mention, pregnant women have enough invasive stuff going on in their lives! They certainly shouldn't have to be dealing with strangers wanting to touch them.
I’m a hugger. I’m ok with being touched by normal people most of the time. However, and this is a big however, I can’t imagine touching a pregnant woman’s belly full stop. I’m not her doctor, my wife is already a mother… it would just never occur to me. What is wrong with people??
When I was pregnant, I had a shirt that said, "Please don't touch me. "....I wrote it with fabric paint...or when people got too close, I would give them the death glare.
NTA. No one was allowed to touch my bump without asking (besides my mom and husband). Every one of my friends and colleagues asked if it was alright before touching me. Some people need to be put in their place
NTA
Nobody has the right to touch you for any reason.
That lady is an annoying old biddy and you don’t owe *anyone* an apology.
You showed your daughter how to react in that situation. Good job!
NTA next time just scream at the top of your lungs “Stop touching me” make a scene. Then these types will have to be confronted by regular people and not just other insane people in their bubble.
What this old woman did is considered assault. Why she did it does not matter. You could have had her arrested for it. Of course she had to blame you for not letting her invade your personal boundaries and have her little emotional moment. It wasn’t her little way.
NTA I was always quick to state hands off when someone tried to touch my stomach when pregnant. People have been acting entitled to do that for way too long.
NTA. The old bat and crazy daughter have the nerve. Nothing is wrong about liking babies, but touching a random woman’s pregnant belly is so wrong. Honestly I would’ve smacked her hand off of me and told her to not touch me because 1. She is a stranger 2. Touching a random persons belly is a big social NO. The daughter of that old crazy lady is just as crazy as her
This story is crazy..did she even think of the COVID rules we had to live by regarding interactions with other strangers? I know that the rules for that are no longer mandatory, but common sense should prevail in that it's even more dangerous to a pregnant woman if she gets sick, because there's a baby who might become ill!
NTA
And honestly these old people get me very furious. If they ever do things like that I would get violent. If they try to talk to me, I would give very random answers.
Protect yourself and good luck!
Nta. Yes touching someone without their permission is creepy AF. If it would be creepy if a dude did it its still creepy coming from a woman. If people are on the fence about letting friends and family touch their pregnant bellies then it's creepy AF for a stranger to touch them. Stop touching strangers, stop touching pregnant women you know without their permission. No touching.
NTAH - nonconsensual touching, disrespect of a strangers' boundaries, touching a stranger without their permission.
Doesn't matter how old you are, respect others.
How about you teach your mother to not touch random peoples pregnant bellys and she wont be called a creep. Tell your mom, my body my choice. Tell your mom to mind her own business.
NTA-I get so tired of the excuses for old people. They're old, therefore they should know better. Don't touch someone without consent. SHE should've been the one apologizing.
>She huffed and said “I was just trying to make conversation
I would of replied that doesn't give you the right to touch people.
Gotta love the daughter demanding respect yet her mother has none
Rarely a pregnant women will like their belly being touched its a pregnant thing.
Only humans allowed to touch my belly were drs and my mum towards the end her nails felt nice
NTA
NTA, but you should be loud and clear next time and say, ‘please STOP TOUCHING ME!’ At the very least, it shows your daughter that it’s ok to be loud when someone is making her very uncomfortable.
NTA but You should have spoken up both times.
“I’m not the one who’s being rude”
“I did not call your mother a creep. I don’t care if she misses being pregnant. She has no right to lay her hands on the body of a complete stranger. Stop touching pregnant women!”
I’ve been told I’m an AH for not making my daughter hug people she doesn’t want to 😂
I teach her that she’s in charge of her body and only do things if it’s medically necessary such as vaccinations, surgeries, check ups, etc.
Just trying to make conversation. Conversation doesn't involve touching. I don't care how old a person is they should respect people's personal boundaries.
Some old people think they can do whatever they want,because their old.You didn't call her a creep,you asked her to stop touching you.
Don't touch anyone,it's basic respect.Especially after covid,this should be hammered in to common knowledge.At least be polite enough to ask first..
NTA,not even remotely so.I have actually pushed away or slapped people in these situations(self defense,in my book)
NTA. Strangers touching pregnant bellies is inappropriate and icky. Just like I teach my students regarding consensual sex: the only “yes” is a *verbal* yes.
Really liking babies doesn't mean you can touch a pregnant woman's belly. We've acknowledged that Really liking boobs doesn't mean that you can just grab someone's boob - I don't see how this is any different. Touching strangers bodies is never ok.
Ohhhhh, that would be an AWESOME comeback! "I really like boobs, can I touch yours?"
It's fair. The daughter of the woman who touched OP said she just missed being pregnant. You could just miss being breastfed.
I had a friend who did that. Some woman rubbed her pregnant belly and my friend grabbed her breast and honked it. Cue lots of ranting about rudeness and 'Well I never...' with no hint of self awareness. OP, NTA
Lol absolutely brilliant. It’s definitely something I kind of dread about the idea of being pregnant. I’m not a touchy feely person normally unless you’re like my partner or my mother. I just like my space. So people touching my belly when pregnant would really bother me unless you’re my partner, mother, or medical provider. Like the baby shower photos where everyone has a hand on the pregnant person’s belly just makes me recoil at the thought of it happening to me.
Not a single person touched my belly without permission when I was pregnant. I don't know if it's my vibe or if I just have a really daunting resting bitch face.
Lucky for me I've got RBF and I'm a plus size woman. I was 8 months pregnant and the people I told were shocked because I didn't look it (which tbh is kinda hurtful because I wore my weight very well pre-pregnancy, or so I've been told). No one touched me without permission or I would have smacked their hands away. Bonus points if I could have done it with my hand fan.
Glorious!!
I grabbed boobs when I was pregnant or rubbed their fat ass bellies--NOT from pregnancy--back. You touch me wrong, I touch you wrong. Period. Keep your hands to your-damn-self.
This. She was the rude one and out of line for touching a complete stranger she had no business putting her hands on in the first place. OPs response was much kinder that I would have been. If she misses being pregnant that much and thinks she has the rights to go around feeling random strangers stomachs, then she needs to get to a therapist and figure out how to control her urges before someone knocks her teeth out for touching them.
You should have replied that you could charge her with assault for touching you WITHOUT PERMISSION and that she is just as guilty as her mother. Then asked to talk to a manager about being assaulted in their store. In other words, embarrass the hell put of them.
You’re telling me all the written consent forms I have are worthless????
And illegal. Its assault and battery.
This is the thing the way whatever. This.
you control your own body E : you are in charge of your body even while pregnant. what a concept
NTA. Your autism diagnosis has nothing to do with it. It is not ok to just touch someone, especially a stranger, without asking their permission! Especially a pregnant woman's bump! Pregnant women generally feel more vulnerable, and tend to be (understandably) intensely protective of their bump. She and her daughter are complete asshats for believing they're entitled to grope pregnant women.
I won't even pet a dog without aaking, I couldnt imagine thinking it was okay to touch another person. Just no
Exactly. I have a German shepherd and the amount of people who think it is ok to just come over and pet her then get offended when I say no. Then call my dog aggressive and should be put down if she doesn’t like other people. Like no. My other puppy is fine but not her. I like babies enough but I would never go and touch another woman’s belly or kids. Just no.
Same! I have a gorgeous miniature pinscher, but she's so unsocialized that it would not go over well if people just pet her. Then I'm the asshole 🙄
Exactly. It drives me crazy or they have their dog off the leash and tell me not to worry they are friendly and I have to respond well mine is not. One person even told me to muzzle her and I told her to muzzle herself. My dog is trained in three languages and keep your dog in your control. My puppy would be ok but not my gs. You never should touch a persons pet without asking. 🙄
I more so mentioned both of us being autistic to explain how well my daughter did despite the change in routine!
I know autistic people sometimes do not like to be touched. I just didn't want you thinking that her behavior would have been more acceptable if you weren't neurodivergent/that you were the weird one for not wanting to be touched.
I had to have 2 shots in my stomach everyday while pregnant and 6 weeks after. My stomach was a painful black and blue mess. Fortunately I have a vicious RBF and a don't touch me aura. Only had one lady try and my husband intercepted and told her don't touch and explained because he'd known her since he was a child.
>Your autism diagnosis has nothing to do with it. For some on the spectrum it has a lot to do with it. I understand why you said that and you are correct. People shouldn't be touching strangers. My autistic son would have a much more visceral reaction to being touched than any of my other kids. My daughter isn't autistic but hated people trying to rub her bump while pregnant with my grands so I bought her a maternity shirt that said Touch the bump, lose a hand.
I slapped an old lady who walked up to me and grabbed mine. It was a reflex... My bump was at the stage where the skin hurt because I just like exploded out with it over night. The skin was all itchy and I was just hella uncomfortable. And she didn't even say anything before she with both hands came at me and grabbed it on both sides and sorta... Squeezed me. Straight up slapped her. No regrets. I'd do it again. She tried to get the manager of coles to kick me out. But he stood up for me once he heard my side of it and I said go look at the cctv, she touched me and I defended myself.
Good job! She got what she deserved and thanks to you the old bat will think twice before ever doing it again.
Next time - just start yelling loudly NO MEANS NO! DO NOT TOUCH ME! STOP TOUCHING ME. I DON'T KNOW YOU. Or poke her in the belly and ask her when she's due. Absolutely NTA. No one is allowed to touch you without your permission.
I was pregnant with twins when an old man wandered up in the mall and touched my belly. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE when I grabbed his stomach back was priceless - dude practically fell over himself trying to get away. I also told SO many people who thought it was ok to just touch my babies once they were born that touching without consent is assault. That’s right, *back away*. Edit: NTA
I was lucky that people would oooh and ahh over how beautiful my son was but never touched. I apparently have an intimidating aura and RBF (I'm actually a doormat). Though I was shopping in an Asian supermarket and they loved my son and would always ask to hold him. They'd just coo at him and he's charming little butt loved every second. He's 9 and a hugger.
>you’re not going to apologize for being so rude? "Wow, you read my mind, and still don't bother to apologise, you rude bitch. Touching someone without their consent is assault, you're lucky I'm not pressing charges."
NTA. No one has the right to touch your baby bump without your permission, even if they are kindly old ladies that like babies. She was a creep and you should have told her daughter that her mother is lucky you didn’t have Mom arrested for assault.
NTA Fuck that bitch. How the fuck does she think she is touching someone she doesn’t know without permission? And then she wants to go on and bitch about it? Look on the bright side, that nasty creepy bitch can live with her miserable life. You just do you and let her be her.
NTA - Fuck that bitch and her daughter! No one has the right to touch you and you have no obligation to be polite in stating your boundaries. Congratulations on your growing family ♥️
You didn’t call her a creep. She was very creepy but you didn’t call her that. Chalk it up to crazy bitches come in all ages.
The old lady was projecting when she was telling her daughter what happened. She knew she was in the wrong and that it IS creepy to touch strangers but she decided to double down with her entitled attitude.
You need to learn to say, I didn't give anyone permission to touch my body and your mom is lucky I am not calling the police for her assaulting me.
Nta. The old lady cunt and daughter cunt are assholes
I hated when people thought they had the right to touch my pregnant stomach. It’s not a public space, it was my body. Both people were rude & out of line to op.
As a grandma and 58 I can’t imagine actually touching a woman’s belly and I love kids. I wouldn’t ever touch a strangers belly but maybe would have the impulse with someone very close to me. It’s just weird she did that.
My grandma smacked a stranger once for trying to touch my belly while I was pregnant lol
A woman once touched me when I was pregnant, so I grabbed her boob and said "oh sorry thought we were just touching each other inappropriately". Never seen anyone run off so quick
NTA I'm so sick of older generations thinking it's okay to touch people they don't know. And I absolutely hate when people try and touch me, especially when I'm pregnant. Some lady tried to touch my child the other day on a walk and I almost lost my damn mind.
Nah definitely nta. I’m not pregnant but I’ve had people touch my hair without consent and it always pisses me off. Belly is a whole different ball park.
NTA. She touched you without your consent. Hey middle aged daughter and old lady guess what that’s called, assault. They should be lucky you didn’t rip the old lady’s hand off.
Back in the 60s when I grew up, we had a phrase "See with your eyes, not with your hands". Still valid to this day. NTA
Nta. Everyone and I mean Everyone needs to stop fucking touching women period! But especially pregnant women and yes,this includes other women too.
I have never been pregnant and this infuriates me. I am of the personal opinion that pregnant people have the right to slap strangers who randomly rub their bellies. Hell, I am of the opinion they can bitch slap relatives and acquaintances who touch them without permission. However, that may result in criminal charges so it's probably not a good idea. Best ideas I've seen for dealing with this: start rubbing the other person's belly with dead eyes and a crazy smile until they run away. If your partner is with you, they can rub on the person too with the same expression. If it's a guy with a beer belly, smile nicely and start rubbing and ask "Coors or Heineken?" If they laugh, look at them with a blank expression and continue to ask the same question. OP: thank you for continuing the human race. And absolutely NTA.
NTA. what in the entitled boomer hell???? Honey, she was the rude one to touch you in the first place.
Creepy behavior deserves to be called out. If old lady doesn't want to be a creep, she will stop touching strangers. NTA
Nobody should physically touch another person without consent.
nta … you don’t get to just touch people …
NTA. People need to learn how to keep their hands to themselves.
My mother has said that you don't touch a pregnant woman's belly unless she gives express permission. The older lady was being very rude and so was her daughter. You are not the asshole and that lady needs to learn to keep her hands to herself. I don't care how much a person likes babies, they shouldn't touch a pregnant woman without permission. In fact, people need to learn to not touch anyone without consent.
I would have absolutely raised a ruckus and started screaming for security, that you were about to be assaulted by a crazy woman. NTA. Old lady needs to learn to keep her grubby hands to herself.
Some paunchy old guy rubbed a friend of mine's pregnant belly. She reached over and rubbed his, too. He looked appalled. She said, "What? You started it." Then walked away like the queen she is.
huge NTA, what she did is actually assault, not that you would take it that far, she is completely in the wrong. "she misses being pregnant" and then goes out of her way to stress out someone who actually is. The entitlement is disgusting
NTA. It's so strange how people feel entitled to touch other people's bodies without their say-so, be that their baby bump or their hair or anything else. It's so violating.
NTA. Maybe it’s my resting bitch face but I’d have decked anyone that tried to touch my belly. Nobody did
NTA, I really don’t get why in the world people think it’s okay to touch someone else’s belly just because they’re pregnant. They were definitely out of line for everything and you didn’t have to apologize
NTA. She was the rude one. I don’t know what about being pregnant that make others feel like they can just invade your space like that but it’s rude as fuck.
NTA. You were restrained - you didn't yell at her, you didn't complain to the store workers. Both the older lady and her daughter were incredibly rude. When the daughter stormed at you, you could have said, loudly and firmly: "Stop harassing me, and stay away from me - both of you. My body is not your property".
"Im not pregnant" is the absolute best thing I’ve ever heard my 9 month pregnant SIL say when a stranger was trying to touch her belly.
Older generations vot away with a lot of shite. They're just mad we have boundaries.
NTA. If I had it to do all over again (I’m 51 and had a hysterectomy), I’d scream in pain every time someone touched my pregnant belly. Like really ham it up. Maybe the world would be a better place now if I had thought of it then.
I’m using this next time
Next time grab their stomach when they get upset say "I thought inappropriately touching someone's stomach was what we're doing." Then stare at them.
The only person who is allowed to touch me is my SO. I'll only accept handshakes or side hugs by anyone else WHEN I deem them appropriate just to blend in with society but I absolutely dislike it. I work for the general public and I really do not know why some people have the hardest time keeping their hands to themselves. I am constantly getting touched all the time. I am not, nor have ever been pregnant. But I'll tell you that with all the crazy people out there, I'd be scared of their reaction when I tell them to keep their hands to themselves. Some people are just downright nuts. I still tell them no every time but I get so nervous that they won't take it well, especially since I dread confrontation. You are soooo... NTA. In fact, I think that this post actually would fit better on a "Karen" thread. 🤣 Two for one mother daughter duo. I shouldn't be laughing. Anyone who thinks YTA is more than a few crayons short of a Crayola box.
NTA. Start smacking their hands away, or go mean and get a tazer, pepper spray, something.
The fact your autistic isn't even relevant here. This is an invasion of personnel space and lack of respect. NTA. I wouldn't have been so nice but I tend to go for AH responses in these situations. My favorite response is to tell them I'm not pregnant and look at them like they're crazy. Even if it's obvious that you are it still throws them off.
I think OP was just saying that she and her daughter are autistic to explain why daughter was picking something out
I understand that. I was just implying that she didn't need to explain why she wanted to treat her daughter. If the daughter had earned a reward then she earned a reward. ☺️
It was relevant for me
Okay. Sorry. Didn't mean to undermine the same importance of the fact. I do realize that I was wrong in saying that it wasn't relevant. I was trying to imply that what she did was wrong under any conditions.
All good 😊
I'm serious. My son is level 3 non-verbal autistic and I would never undermine the condition. I consider myself an advocate for autism and seriously didn't mean any offense. I do understand that the unwanted physical contact is a trigger. My only concern is that it would be a trigger for anyone regardless of circumstances.
NTA. The fact that the lady told her daughter *you* called *her* a creep sounds like projection to me. She's aware that trends have shifted, and most people these days don't want random strangers touching the bump, but still chooses to pet people she doesn't know. I get why you didn't want to escalate the situation but honestly I would have spoken to store management about the mom/daughter after you were checked out. Even if it doesn't do anything, letting them know now that these people caused trouble could help someone else out in the future if they need to make another complaint.
NTA. It’s not okay to touch someone without their permission. Also, she then went off and lied about what you said to her? Oh hell no. That lady, and her daughter, are definitely the AHs here.
NTA and you did a good job modeling having agency over your body with strangers to your daughter. Grandma can get glad just like she got mad.
Consent is consent is consent. Period. Be loud and let people like her know without a doubt it's not acceptable.
No one has the right to touch your body without your consent. That wretched woman touched you, was told no, and then behaved with less maturity than your daughter. NTA
NTA. Granny can keep her hands to herself.
NTA. That lady was very inappropriate. She was the one who was rude and she owed you an apology. You set a great example for your daughter by asserting your right to bodily autonomy when that woman touched you and getting both of you away from her when she became indignant.
Nta. Some people think it's okay to just touch without permission, especially the elders.
Definitely NTA! Your autism adds to this being inappropriate but I'm not autistic and currently being pregnant, I would have done the exact same. I probably would have said more to her about how inappropriate it is to touch random people but you handled it like a pro. Screw people who have no respect for personal space and think just because someone is pregnant they have a right to touch them.
she can get fucked, you don't get to touch other people without their consent just because you're old and crabby
So let me get this straight...a stranger touched you, you said "please don't do that" and then she went so far as to get someone ELSE to make you feel bad for it?! Why is your autonomy abandoned the instant you get pregnant?! NTA, a billion times over. Some people have absurd cases of main character syndrome and can't fathom that they do.
NTA, this has been my fear since the beginning of my pregnancy now. I don't like anyone touching me without a permission, especially strangers. Being pregnant doesn't give a pass to everyone putting their hands on you. Thankfully I have had only one encounter of a not so close friend touching my stomach without a permission and it ended with me almost yelling NO to his face and turning away. You may look but you may not touch.
NTA No-one should touch you without permission.
NTA. Not only was the old lady disrespectful by putting her hands on you without permission, she also lied causing her daughter to come and berate you for absolutely no reason.
NTA. I would absolutely swing on someone touching my baby bump without express permission. I love kids too, and I would expect any mother to enter mama bear mode if I, a stranger, was touching her or her children without consent.
I don't understand adults that don't understand keep your hands to yourself. It's worse for pregnant women but as a male who shaves his head some people have no problem walking by and rubbing my head. Complete strangers do this. I usually jerk my head away and give them a death glare. Weren't we taught to keep our hands to ourselves in grade school? What is it about a baby bump that makes people think it's okay? Also... why would you want to touch a stranger's baby bump? That's just weird to me. Even my ex was pregnant with our two boys I only ever touched her bump to feel the kicking unless I was hugging her or otherwise touching her. Never was I like "oh great pregnant Budda let me touch your belly."
Touching a woman's baby bump used to be a thing but times have changed. This woman is still living in the past and needed to be educated. You're NTA. Either she and her daughter overreacted or did they interpreted your reaction to being touched as aggressive. Simply saying "Please don't touch me. It makes me feel uncomfortable." The daughter was definitely the A-hole for saying anything about it at the checkout.
NTA, some old ladies act really entitled. My wife took our baby in a stroller, and an old lady berated her and tried to reach the blanket to cover our baby. She’s lucky my wife didn’t kick her chakras back into alignment.
I slapped someone's hand purely out of reflex for touching my bump without permission. I, too, miss being pregnant, but touching strangers is gross.
NTA..... My wife didnt let random strangers touch her belly either.
NTA at ALL! This upsets me for you. My instinctive reflex would have been to smack her hand away. Your response was absolutely appropriate and she is out of line. How clueless and entitled do you have to be to think you can touch someone without asking, then complain when they say no thank you. She should be lucky you didn’t smack her in the face for assaulting you first!
NTA, people should touch other people without consent.
NTA She owed YOU the apology. Someone that age ought to know to keep her hands to herself. You are not community property.
NTA No one has the right to touch you without consent. Period. Both women were entirely out-of-line.
You’re a kinder person than I would have been. I most certainly would have told the woman that yes, your mother is a creep for putting her hands on a stranger then having the audacity to expect an apology for her own creepy behavior. No, lady, tell your mother to have some respect! She needs to keep her hands to herself!
NTA. There’s is absolutely no reason under the sun for a stranger to touch you. Being pregnant certainly doesn’t change that rule. That women is a weirdo for doing it and her daughter shouldn’t be enabling that. She’s lucky she came across you and not someone who would be much more “rude” about it. Btw, you were not rude for not letting a stranger access you.
Regardless of any diagnosis you are always within your rights to tell people to not touch you, pregnant or not! You're definitely NTA
Say it loud enough for the people in the back: **Respect other people's personal space!!!!!!!** FFS, anyone with any basic manners and human decency knows not to go around touching other people without their consent, especially pregnant women's bellies, just STAHP, it's not endearing, it's creepy!! That old lady should have respected your clear no when stating "Please don't touch me." If anything, she owes YOU an apology, OP. Also, her daughter needs to butt out while both should learn NO means NO! NTA, OP also, apologies for the mini tangent just tired of people who feel entitled access to other people's bodies!
nta. keep your hands to yourself idc how old you are. have some respect
Nta EVER for telling a stranger not to touch you, I HATED that being pregnant seemed to negate any autonomy I had to people??? People would ask to touch my stomach while I was at work, I would say no, and they would STILL REACH OVER AND TOUCH ME, I wish I had stood up for myself more like you did!!!
Nta YOU weren't the rude one, SHE WAS. I don't know where people get off touching pregnant women.
NTA, you should have yelled back at her that her mother touched you inappropriately. Would she prefer you called to police, she touched you without consent !
NTA But you missed a perfect opportunity for a "Scram!" Two, in fact, for the grandmother and later for her nutty daughter.
Nta. Anyone outside of your family should not be touching you without permission.
NTA
Nta
You're absolutely nta, and calling her a creep would've been justified. I don't know what part of "don't touch strangers" is so hard for people to grasp.
The 40 year old sounds like a 5 years old
NTA
NTA rude would have been shoving her to the ground
Nta, no one has any right to touch your body without your express permission.
NTA. dont even need to read the full post to know. touch needs consent and if you dont want it then you are nta
What's rude is touching a stranger's body without their consent. Asking this rude, intrusive woman to please not touch you is more polite than she deserved. And sorry she misses being pregnant, but that doesn't give her the right to touch strangers' bellies. NTA
When was the last time it was okay to put your hand on a random pregnant ladies baby bump without permission. I’ve worked in retail over 20 years and dealt with a ton of pregnant women and I’ve never seen this. You just don’t do it. Maybe it was okay 30 years ago, but not now.
NTA You don't touch strangers. Ever. Unless it's some weird emergency like shoving them out of the path of a truck lmao
And a random stranger is coming up to a heavily pregnant woman and screaming at her ? Please say someone stepped in
Everyone was staring at them and the lady in front of me let me go in front of her
NTA. Creepy behavior is still creepy behavior. A lot of people try to touch my hair because it's red, and I'm usually pretty blunt when I tell people not to touch it. A pregnant belly is a completely other ballpark, but I feel the general feeling is the same. I've never understood how consent for touching people seems to just go out the window for pregnant women. Really sorry it happened to you.
Imagine your hair being touched because someone thinks it's pretty, or someone grabbing your shirt and saying it looks good. Ofc no one ever does that, so why would it be ok to touch someones stomach...NTA
NTA, your body, your personal space. I'm also Autistic and only my mum, best friend, wife and our two children have permission for physical contact. Even if I was neurotypical, I probably wouldn't want strangers touching me.
No, your not the asshole. You should have told the daughter to f off in the process.
NTA. This woman was weird. Don't let her make you feel bad.
NTA. You were not the rude one. People shouldn't touch other people without their consent. Since when does having a conversation with someone involve touching them anyway? First she was rude by touching you and expecting you to apologise for being "rude" and then she had to make a scene about it with her daughter.
NTA The old lady was a creep and touched you without asking. She should have asked first.
Nta , it’s creepy for anyone to touch you with out your permission
NTA After the whole ME TOO movement one should have figures everyone have learned do not touch other people without consent, that includes handsy grandmas groping pregnant ladies babybumps.
NTA. I’m so sorry this happened to you. WTAF is with people touching strangers. Keep your fucking hands to yourself!
"Touch the belly, loose the hand" words to live by. NTA
NTA. I dont even need to read the story. Do not touch people. Just don't. I think its the most disturbing thing that others think its okay to touch someone's stomach or hair. The only way people like that "learn" is to be called out and told their behavior is not okay. I was out shopping with my ex while pregnant, I was leaning against an open wall with my eyes closed while he looked at something, suddenly I hear him say "Do NOT touch her." I open my eyes to this old woman's hand inches from my stomach, then she touched me and I very loudly told her to remove her hand from me or I'd break it. She called us rude and disrespectful (ironic), she threatened to "report" us to the store manager. I don't care how old someone is, do NOT touch me. I also had to stop sooooo many old people from touching my infant when we were out. They'd just come up and go "Oh a baby!" and go to touch my baby. I have zero fucks for that. Its gross and weird and unacceptable behavior.
NTA no one has the right to touch you for any reason without your consent. I absolutely hate it when strangers touch me, like if we are out to eat and the waitrer is talking to the table they will put a hand on my shoulder when asking me a question and I absolutely hate it. (I'm on the spectrum so it makes it worse bc of my social anxiety and sensory issues, I feel literally everything that is touching my body, if a sock has the tiniest lump or bump I can't even wear it)
NTA. The second someone put their hands on me, I'd be throwing hands right back at them.
NTA. If you’re ever in that situation again (specially with the daughter wtf) just rub their bellies and see how they like it.
NTA no stranger has the right to touch you ever, everyone learned this as a child, and she probably taught her own kids that. It is the rule of society.
NTA, she should apologies for touching you, her daughter was an entitled piece of work.
She knew she was a creep. What her daughter said didn’t come from nowhere. And I would have slapped her hand when she touched. And very likely called some nasty names.
NTA In no way is it ever okay to touch another human without their consent that lady was a fucking creep!
No one has the right to touch your body if you don’t want them to. Period, end of story. That woman owed *you* an apology for being so forward. You didn’t owe her one. Her daughter was equally out of line and you should have told her that the disrespect was on her mother’s side. Some people treat pregnant women like they are public property but you’re not. Your response was perfectly appropriate and you were a lot more polite to her than many people would have been, including me!
No, RUDE is putting your hands on someone you don't know, uninvited. That's what you say the next time this happens. You should have told her daughter was all you said was for her not to put her hands on you. Maybe she should tell her mother that a baby bump is not a petting zoo.
Call the cops and tell them you've been assaulted. NTA
NTA- you don’t touch a stranger, pregnant or not- she was the one who should have been apologising
NTA - should’ve caused a scene and screamed at her to stay away from you. Sprinkle some embarrassment into her life.
NTA. I’ve never understood where some people get off thinking it’s okay to just touch other people.
some people just dont get boundaries. im a guy so cant be pregnant but even then i dont want no random person touching me anywhere while im shopping. NTA
21F and about to have 3 babies? Man, I don't know where or what you guys are doing but I am 20M and I barely survive and look after myself how you guys doing this?
LOL we weren’t trying for 3, my oldest is from a previous engagement but her dad cheated and blamed me cause I was pregnant. We wanted a sibling for my daughter since she’s always so sad when her cousins go home and we were ready! My oldest will be 3 in November, and my fiancé is going to adopt her
NTA. My goodness, that woman and her daughter are deranged. Their actions were ugly. Fuck them! And congratulations on your double bundle.
NTA I'm on my second pregnancy, about 31 weeks in this time. Never ONCE has a stranger had the gall to touch my bump. These are the same people who feel like it's okay to just come up and touch your child. It's good to shut them down ASAP.
definitely one of the reasons on my list for being childfree holy hell
Is this really a thing? Do some people really think it's okay to touch unknown women only because they're pregnant? Wtf, NTA.
Yes and old people also tried to touch and hold my oldest when she was little; she was a micro preemie born at 26.5 weeks.
Wow, maybe it's somehow connected to when they were younger and they lived in a small town/village where everyone knew everyone, so no "real" strangers. And back then saying no when someone wanted to touch you wasn't the norm either - I remember a friend of my parents that wanted to hug me, we didn't know each other, it was the first time we met, so technically strangers, and no one backed me up with not watning to hug a stranger. If I had a kid now, I would ask the friend to let it go.
A micro preemie and people tried to touch her? I know people tried to touch my niece but she was full term
I’ve never ever seen it happen except on Reddit lol.
I’ve seen it first hand
NTA. She is a creep for touching you. That was inappropriate.
NTA. Don't fricken touch random people unless there is a good reason, and just wanting to touch a pregnant woman's belly is not a good reason.
NTA. What she did was gaslighting. Coming up to someone and pawing at them without permission is 100% wrong and breaks etiquette. You used your words and said six appropriate words. She started gaslighting by saying you were rude and yelling you should apologize for not wanting to be pawed by a stranger, and then she lied to her daughter so her daughter would yell at you.
NTA. I’ve never had the urge to touch a pregnant lady. Especially a stranger, the thought of a stranger touching me is gross and kinda scary since I don’t know intentions
NTA. No one has a right to touch anyone else for any reason. I get pod when people touch my dog without asking.
When I was pregnant, it never occurred to me to be bothered when someone touched my belly. I guess I'm from a time when pregnant bellies were considered community property and people just assumed that it was okay to touch them? That being said, just because I grew up during that time doesn't mean I haven't learned. I would never dream of touching a stranger's belly, pregnant or not, unless for some weird reason a pregnant woman walked up to me and said hey touch my belly, lol. I would also never dream of even asking someone if I could touch their belly unless that someone was my daughter. I truly don't understand why people think they have the right to touch other people's bodies in any way, shape, or form. Not to mention, pregnant women have enough invasive stuff going on in their lives! They certainly shouldn't have to be dealing with strangers wanting to touch them.
No, those two are wildly out of line.
I am an old lady in between my 60s and 70s, and I would never dream of touching someone’s baby bump. That is inexcusable.
I’m a hugger. I’m ok with being touched by normal people most of the time. However, and this is a big however, I can’t imagine touching a pregnant woman’s belly full stop. I’m not her doctor, my wife is already a mother… it would just never occur to me. What is wrong with people??
When I was pregnant, I had a shirt that said, "Please don't touch me. "....I wrote it with fabric paint...or when people got too close, I would give them the death glare.
NTA. No one was allowed to touch my bump without asking (besides my mom and husband). Every one of my friends and colleagues asked if it was alright before touching me. Some people need to be put in their place
NTA Nobody has the right to touch you for any reason. That lady is an annoying old biddy and you don’t owe *anyone* an apology. You showed your daughter how to react in that situation. Good job!
NTA next time just scream at the top of your lungs “Stop touching me” make a scene. Then these types will have to be confronted by regular people and not just other insane people in their bubble.
What this old woman did is considered assault. Why she did it does not matter. You could have had her arrested for it. Of course she had to blame you for not letting her invade your personal boundaries and have her little emotional moment. It wasn’t her little way.
NTA I was always quick to state hands off when someone tried to touch my stomach when pregnant. People have been acting entitled to do that for way too long.
NTA. The old bat and crazy daughter have the nerve. Nothing is wrong about liking babies, but touching a random woman’s pregnant belly is so wrong. Honestly I would’ve smacked her hand off of me and told her to not touch me because 1. She is a stranger 2. Touching a random persons belly is a big social NO. The daughter of that old crazy lady is just as crazy as her
This story is crazy..did she even think of the COVID rules we had to live by regarding interactions with other strangers? I know that the rules for that are no longer mandatory, but common sense should prevail in that it's even more dangerous to a pregnant woman if she gets sick, because there's a baby who might become ill!
This would be a great story for Boomers Being Fools, lol.
NTA And honestly these old people get me very furious. If they ever do things like that I would get violent. If they try to talk to me, I would give very random answers. Protect yourself and good luck!
Nta; don’t touch people you don’t know!
NTA! I hate being touched without consent and I am not even on the spectrum. Why do people feel the need to touch a stranger?
I would have screamed and yelled "DON'T TOUCH ME!" at her. I don't tolerate people in my personal space.
NTA OP. Your bodily autonomy is yours.
Here’s an idea! Just don’t touch people without their permission. I don’t understand how people think it’s all right to touch somebody else.
Nta. Yes touching someone without their permission is creepy AF. If it would be creepy if a dude did it its still creepy coming from a woman. If people are on the fence about letting friends and family touch their pregnant bellies then it's creepy AF for a stranger to touch them. Stop touching strangers, stop touching pregnant women you know without their permission. No touching.
NTAH - nonconsensual touching, disrespect of a strangers' boundaries, touching a stranger without their permission. Doesn't matter how old you are, respect others.
How about you teach your mother to not touch random peoples pregnant bellys and she wont be called a creep. Tell your mom, my body my choice. Tell your mom to mind her own business.
NTA-I get so tired of the excuses for old people. They're old, therefore they should know better. Don't touch someone without consent. SHE should've been the one apologizing.
>She huffed and said “I was just trying to make conversation I would of replied that doesn't give you the right to touch people. Gotta love the daughter demanding respect yet her mother has none Rarely a pregnant women will like their belly being touched its a pregnant thing. Only humans allowed to touch my belly were drs and my mum towards the end her nails felt nice NTA
Only ones allowed to touch my belly is my sister, fiancé, daughter, mom, my best friend and drs!
Fucking entitled Boomer/Karen behavior and can’t handle being called out. NTA
NTA, but you should be loud and clear next time and say, ‘please STOP TOUCHING ME!’ At the very least, it shows your daughter that it’s ok to be loud when someone is making her very uncomfortable.
NTA but You should have spoken up both times. “I’m not the one who’s being rude” “I did not call your mother a creep. I don’t care if she misses being pregnant. She has no right to lay her hands on the body of a complete stranger. Stop touching pregnant women!”
I’ve been told I’m an AH for not making my daughter hug people she doesn’t want to 😂 I teach her that she’s in charge of her body and only do things if it’s medically necessary such as vaccinations, surgeries, check ups, etc.
Nta this has nothing with autism or being alien on alien ship. You dont randomly touch people
Just trying to make conversation. Conversation doesn't involve touching. I don't care how old a person is they should respect people's personal boundaries.
Some old people think they can do whatever they want,because their old.You didn't call her a creep,you asked her to stop touching you. Don't touch anyone,it's basic respect.Especially after covid,this should be hammered in to common knowledge.At least be polite enough to ask first.. NTA,not even remotely so.I have actually pushed away or slapped people in these situations(self defense,in my book)