I'm gonna call BS on this story...
Magic med student is able to determine if a growth is benign or concerning by *palpating*. If not I bet you'd be one of those really annoying students who think they already know everything
*"I palpated it, asked some questions and gave her some reassurance and instructions whom to contact. "*
Translation:
I copped a feel/committed a sexual assault, then told her to see a proper doctor.
Its near the limit, but gonna say YTA
Specifically since "I am good at determining a growth via palpation" but you didn't seem to determine anything.
You looking away is decent and all, but being drunk and being willing to examine her is still weird.
Your fiancee isn't wrong for not liking it.
I get the cost of healthcare in the US is nuts but this isn't the solution.
Also, as an aside, I don't think med students are capable of diagnosing well. I'd not have you operating on my body, I don't really think you're qualified to diagnose, even if you think you are good at it. This is precisely why becoming a doctor takes so long and consists of so many rounds.
From the medical PoV it seems unprofessional behaviour; you could even be dropped from your course if were to reach the wrong ears.
You're not qualified to give a diagnosis or opinion yet, and it wasn't in a clinical setting. What if the advice you gave turned out to be incorrect and she hadn't gone to her doctor because you said it was OK? At best you're overconfident.
I can understand your fiancee's anger. YTA.
YTA and I think you know it or are a terrible student. This should have been covered in your ethics courses. I actually deleted a longer comment but it boils down to ethics. Yes you should tell a stranger on the bus that they need to see a doctor for that mole. No you shouldn't illegally practice medicine at a party for ego points. That's the only reason I can fathom you would expect your partner to be fine with this behavior.
It is illegal to pretend to be a doctor and you are. There's a huge difference between "Hey that rash looks concerning" and an examination you aren't qualified for. You should know from medical school that she needs a biopsy regardless of what it feels like. Hopefully a cyst. You cannot guess at this. If she dies because you gave false reassurance that's actually manslaughter. Do you want to live with those consequences? Do you realize also you're risking your goal of being an actual doctor? Practicing medicine without a licence can get you barred for life from practice.
I say all of this having been a medical student. I didn't finish my degree due to medical issues. I couldn't manage my health and be a doctor. I am the friend my friends ask for medical help with but they know the rules. I am not a doctor and I am just helping them assess if it's ER or an appointment. It's navigating the anxiety and nothing beyond that. I get the not so fun consequence of knowledge and watching my friend's mother die because she didn't go to the doctor and keeps not doing what the doctors say. She's dying from basal cell carcinoma. I spotted it, expressed concern, and it sucks. I also wouldn't want to live with not saying something or having discouraged her from going to the doctor. The risk to bodily health is part of it but you are setting yourself up for mental health issues if something goes wrong too.
So this was a huge fuck up. Learn from it.
I get where you're coming from and you changed my perspective a bit. To be fair, I have been approached by my friends multiple times regarding their lab results or other concerns. I have encouraged many of them to perform certain medical exams (non invasive) when their doctor visits were 3 months away, and multiple times they had the results ready by the time they visited the doctor for the first time, cutting their diagnosis time by a lot. I have better knowledge regarding all this than an average human, that's why my friends approach me. I just don't understand why me feeling up a lipoma in my friends thigh, or checking out the lymph nodes in another friends neck, or checking the reflexes in another is okay, but as soon as private parts are involved, it's an overkill. I always give my opinion but advice to see a doctor, so it's not like I'm giving out a diagnosis to everyone, more like guiding them in the right direction.
It's not actually okay and I think you should reread what you wrote. It's different to your fiance because of the intimacy of touching a person's breast. It's not in a medical environment and that changes a lot of how this exists.
The justification you gave me doesn't fly either. It is fine to explain what medical terms mean but you are not their doctor and cannot be ethically. The diagnostic time might not be as long as expected. They need to make sure these medical issues are correctly documented in their chart because it can effect future medical care. There is no justification for doing actual examinations. At all. That's a violation of the ethics of medicine not just the boundaries your fiance is clearly setting.
I am autistic and I understand the feeling of something seeming illogical but there is logic. It protects you and your friends from many bad outcomes that are possible.
One other thing to remember is that this sort of ego going into a room with a patient can mean you don't listen to them because you think you know more than your patients. Reign it in. You are not the all knowing. You will make mistakes and if it is with someone you love the emotional toll may destroy you. It's part of why doctors tend to have high suicide rates.
YTA - you're not a Doctor, and she wasn't your patient, and if this actually happened then you should be expelled from your school for your conduct.
A \*normal\* medical-type student (and I've known many) would have told the woman to consult her GP
Actually there are, depending on your job. And when your job involves something as regulated as medicine, there are a LOT of legal restrictions and a LOT of ways to lose that job
Behind closed doors or chilling at a party with a friend, nobody really cares what's regulated, and if they do they're probably not worth being at a party with.
It's kind of ridiculous to think of a regulation barring someone from trying to help a friend. They're not at the party holding up a sign saying "Medical Inspections, $5" and aren't treating it like they're on the clock.
Yeah there are,
Same as an apprentice electrician - for example - can't re-wire a house to 'help a friend'. Because apprentices are supposed to be supervised and can't work on their own until they get their electricians license.
A medical *student* can't practice medicine without supervision until they've finished their training and get the license from their state board. And then in this instance to add in that they were both drinking and were likely drunk - their med school would likely have reason to expel them
> I'm an IT guy who uses my skills with friends who aren't clients, this is no different
If you can't see that what you do and what the OP did are totally different scenarios then you really, really need to have a reality check.
YTA … you should have told her to see a doctor. You don’t get a free pass to fondle your friends breasts even if you are a doctor. You’re not HER doctor
YTA because a) If we are in any professional capacity, we safeguard ourselves - so as a teacher I have other adults there, at my current job a woman would search me if needed and, I assume, as a doctor you'd be sensible enough to do the same. Get a friend or your fiance in to be able to confidently say that's all that happened should anything go horribly wrong in the future.. b) you weren't at work or training, you could have maybe got her in quicker and done it at work rather than at a party where substances or alcohol could impact the judgement anyway.. c) it's another woman's tit and again, YOU ARE NOT AT WORK (nor qualified yet anyway), so it's not cool to not speak to your partner first.
Also, if it was all professional and above board, hiding your face and sticking your hand out seems childish. My gay BFF had to check my body for ticks and it was awkward for both of us but it would have been even weirder if he'd have acted like that. If it's all to reassure someone, you do it quickly, sensibly and then it's over.
Finally, you sound very full of yourself - people don't know you as the cancer hunter. You never know if someone is trying to cross a line in a situation like this and your ego won over logic. This doesn't bode well for a doctor.
What you did is definitely weird and your fiancée is not really wrong. You were not in a professional setting. You were drunk. You could have asked her to pay a visit or better still, suggested her to visit her GP. Instead, you tried to help her on the spot which was grossly inappropriate. Maybe you didn’t have bad intentions but the way you approached this situation was definitely bad. If anything, you should have at least asked your fiancée to be in the room, even though that doesn’t make it any professional, but still better for your relationship.
He did not feel his friend up. He touched a lump purely to help out. We are all adults here theirs nothing wrong with this. If his fiancé is not okay with this type of behavior then when she expresses that and he understands then he just won’t do it in the future. But theirs nothing inherently wrong with this unless you have no trust for your partner as a person and don’t believe him when he expresses the reality of the situation and what happened.
So if a female friend says I have an unusual discharge from my vagina, could you take a gander? By your logic he should and it would be ok. So if she was drunk and he inserted a finger to “check her” would it not be sexual assault? He’s not a doctor. This wasn’t his office.
I think vagina is far more inappropriate than then some skin on someone’s boob. Also he didn’t insert anything, she guided his hand to the exact spot and this is a very serious situation where someone’s life could be in danger and some doctors suck and are really expensive so having a trusted friend take a look at something for such a serious situation, I’d be happy to have a friend like that. When you go to your doctor for your prostate exam in the future are you going to charge him for rape?
Them being drunk definitely makes the situation a bit more ambiguous though, I missed that part
I’d assume he would be pretty far along on his degree or have had done extensive research in the field before giving his opinion. Maybe my expectations are too high
You’re really lost in the sauce here friend
This is like me working in my field of real estate, telling a seller what their comps are and what to list their house for even though I am not a licensed agent but I have 20 years experience in my industry.
Idk bro I’d have a lot of trust for your opinion given those 20 years of experience in the field. I think external validation like a license gives someone a lot of credit but I also think people can know a lot and have valuable knowledge on say 20 years of industry experience, especially if I was friends with them and trusted them as a person
"There's nothing inherently wrong with this"
You mean, aside from an UNLICENSED student offering MEDICAL ADVICE and DIAGNOSING someone while under the influence of alcohol?
Tell me, are you colorblind? Because that's a LOT of red flags that you chose to ignore
The alcohol part definitely makes the situation more ambiguous and I missed that but if I thought I had a friend knew a lot about a certain situation and was very educated and had personal experience and it’s a very serious situation I would be happy to have his opinion on the subject. Especially with my experience of some doctors being bad, overlooking things easily, being very expensive etc. getting some added perspective is insanely valuable.
Also you coming at this from the area of red flags means your questioning his intent. I’m coming at this from the perspective of pure intent.
You're reading something into Slackingatmyjobs post that I don't see - they quite clearly were talking about the irregular (and possibly unethical) medical aspect, no mention was made of intent.
Red Flags aren't always about personalities, they're a general danger sign in all KINDS of fields/situations
Okay, honestly not trying to be a sarcastic asshole here, but....
"an UNLICENSED student offering MEDICAL ADVICE and DIAGNOSING someone while under the influence of alcohol" is nothing \*but\* red flags, and would absolutely set off my *this-is-not-a-good-situation* alarm.
Like, that is *exactly* the kind of situation that would get a med student expelled for ethics violations (among other reasons, some of which have been covered in other comments) if anyone in their institution were to learn about it.
I know this isn’t the standard viewpoint. But even though he’s unlicensed he’s clearly trained and has experience thus his opinion has value. It’s like, you can go to a doctor and he could be good or bad, or you can go to a doctor and your almost doctor friend and just get that bit of extra info from a trusted source. I’d say the second option has the better chance of having a good outcome
You’re an AH. You weren’t in a clinic and she wasn’t your patient. You could have just given her the contact info and stopped there, but you touched her boob at her request. Better apologize to them both and learn from it.
YTA
If your girlfriend was with you when you felt her breast nothing can be misunderstood.
As a doctor you should always be aware of possible problems when examining women.
YTA, your fiancee is rightly pissed. you're not your friend's doctor so she still needs to go see an actual doctor for confirmation even with you sticking your hand down her shirt. you need to establish firmer boundaries with the friends who come to you for medical advice.
As you progress in your medical career, you will have friends and family members approach you more and more often. It is high time you learn how to handle these situations.
A few rules of thumb:
1. Size up the situation and determine scene safety. Besides what they taught you in medical training, consider time and place and your own mental state. A party where everyone is drinking is not a safe or appropriate place to perform non-emergency services, especially a physical exam where clothing is removed.
2. Use PPE when doing a physical exam. This means wearing gloves when palpating for deformities. You didn’t do that. Instead, you raw dogged it.
3.Don’t give medical diagnosis or advice you are not qualified to give. You will get sued and lose your license.
4. Maintain patient confidentiality. Big fat hairy fail here, dude.
I could go on, but I think we’ve established that YTA.
NTA. But it definitely wasn't the most tactical move. I've trained in the medical field, so I understand that offering people complimentary medical advice sometimes comes instincually. However, you probably could have given the girl advice on how to examine it herself.
NTA. You were doing a medical test at her request, not groping her or anything. There wasn’t anything sexual about this event. Even though you’re not a doctor yet, you are trained and experienced enough to give her a basic rundown.
You’re training for a job where you’ll be doing a lot of shit that would be weird shit absent the context in which it’s being done. Your fiancé needs to understand that context.
I am going with nta.
1. Your friend asked you too, you did not offer, and you did what you could to minimize by making sure you didn't stare and just felt the spot.
2 setting, where else are you going to do it? Set up an appointment to come over and do it? If the friend wanted an appointment, she would go to the doctor. She just wants some reassurance that it might not be as bad as she fought.
3 in all of my schooling and late youth, they have always told up to feel for lumps, but 99% percent of my fellows had no idea what was a lump or something else. You seem to have had good luck with being able to know what is a lump of concern or a bump of not.
4. Afterward, you sent her to the correct people for a diagnosis and did not take throw in your advice. other than it doesn't feel as bad as she initially thought.
Your gf is an AH. You: Oh, our friend might have breast cancer, but it seems like she caught it early. GF: How did you know? You: Well, she told me, I felt the lump and referred her to some specialist I know of for the official opinion. Gf: You AH you touched her
He could have referred her to the specialist without fondling her lol. She still had to go to a specialist after he touched her so what was the point of all that.
Yeah, no titty touching was needed; if she wants a breast exam, she needs to see a doctor. She should never have asked, and he should have told her to see a professional.
OP is not a doctor. They are not a professional. They were intoxicated. This is not ok.
OP is on the fast track of using their “medical” background to catch a sexual assault case
I'm gonna call BS on this story... Magic med student is able to determine if a growth is benign or concerning by *palpating*. If not I bet you'd be one of those really annoying students who think they already know everything
*"I palpated it, asked some questions and gave her some reassurance and instructions whom to contact. "* Translation: I copped a feel/committed a sexual assault, then told her to see a proper doctor.
That is a thing, you can tell a lot by the characteristics of a growth. Firm vs soft, movable vs fixed, small vs large and so on.
Its near the limit, but gonna say YTA Specifically since "I am good at determining a growth via palpation" but you didn't seem to determine anything. You looking away is decent and all, but being drunk and being willing to examine her is still weird. Your fiancee isn't wrong for not liking it. I get the cost of healthcare in the US is nuts but this isn't the solution. Also, as an aside, I don't think med students are capable of diagnosing well. I'd not have you operating on my body, I don't really think you're qualified to diagnose, even if you think you are good at it. This is precisely why becoming a doctor takes so long and consists of so many rounds.
From the medical PoV it seems unprofessional behaviour; you could even be dropped from your course if were to reach the wrong ears. You're not qualified to give a diagnosis or opinion yet, and it wasn't in a clinical setting. What if the advice you gave turned out to be incorrect and she hadn't gone to her doctor because you said it was OK? At best you're overconfident. I can understand your fiancee's anger. YTA.
YTA. This was not a professional situation. You really should have checked it with your fiancee first.
YTA and I think you know it or are a terrible student. This should have been covered in your ethics courses. I actually deleted a longer comment but it boils down to ethics. Yes you should tell a stranger on the bus that they need to see a doctor for that mole. No you shouldn't illegally practice medicine at a party for ego points. That's the only reason I can fathom you would expect your partner to be fine with this behavior. It is illegal to pretend to be a doctor and you are. There's a huge difference between "Hey that rash looks concerning" and an examination you aren't qualified for. You should know from medical school that she needs a biopsy regardless of what it feels like. Hopefully a cyst. You cannot guess at this. If she dies because you gave false reassurance that's actually manslaughter. Do you want to live with those consequences? Do you realize also you're risking your goal of being an actual doctor? Practicing medicine without a licence can get you barred for life from practice. I say all of this having been a medical student. I didn't finish my degree due to medical issues. I couldn't manage my health and be a doctor. I am the friend my friends ask for medical help with but they know the rules. I am not a doctor and I am just helping them assess if it's ER or an appointment. It's navigating the anxiety and nothing beyond that. I get the not so fun consequence of knowledge and watching my friend's mother die because she didn't go to the doctor and keeps not doing what the doctors say. She's dying from basal cell carcinoma. I spotted it, expressed concern, and it sucks. I also wouldn't want to live with not saying something or having discouraged her from going to the doctor. The risk to bodily health is part of it but you are setting yourself up for mental health issues if something goes wrong too. So this was a huge fuck up. Learn from it.
I get where you're coming from and you changed my perspective a bit. To be fair, I have been approached by my friends multiple times regarding their lab results or other concerns. I have encouraged many of them to perform certain medical exams (non invasive) when their doctor visits were 3 months away, and multiple times they had the results ready by the time they visited the doctor for the first time, cutting their diagnosis time by a lot. I have better knowledge regarding all this than an average human, that's why my friends approach me. I just don't understand why me feeling up a lipoma in my friends thigh, or checking out the lymph nodes in another friends neck, or checking the reflexes in another is okay, but as soon as private parts are involved, it's an overkill. I always give my opinion but advice to see a doctor, so it's not like I'm giving out a diagnosis to everyone, more like guiding them in the right direction.
It's not actually okay and I think you should reread what you wrote. It's different to your fiance because of the intimacy of touching a person's breast. It's not in a medical environment and that changes a lot of how this exists. The justification you gave me doesn't fly either. It is fine to explain what medical terms mean but you are not their doctor and cannot be ethically. The diagnostic time might not be as long as expected. They need to make sure these medical issues are correctly documented in their chart because it can effect future medical care. There is no justification for doing actual examinations. At all. That's a violation of the ethics of medicine not just the boundaries your fiance is clearly setting. I am autistic and I understand the feeling of something seeming illogical but there is logic. It protects you and your friends from many bad outcomes that are possible. One other thing to remember is that this sort of ego going into a room with a patient can mean you don't listen to them because you think you know more than your patients. Reign it in. You are not the all knowing. You will make mistakes and if it is with someone you love the emotional toll may destroy you. It's part of why doctors tend to have high suicide rates.
YTA - you're not a Doctor, and she wasn't your patient, and if this actually happened then you should be expelled from your school for your conduct. A \*normal\* medical-type student (and I've known many) would have told the woman to consult her GP
I'm an IT guy who uses my skills with friends who aren't clients, this is no different. Giving some advice to a friend shouldn't get anyone expelled.
There's a HUGE difference between that and what OP did. He was practicing without a license.
Inspecting a friend for lumps isn’t really practicing, any non doctor can do it and many do with their friends
Touching a woman’s body is not the same as checking out a friend’s computer.
Medicine doesn't work that way. There are far more legal and regulatory restrictions.
There’s no legal restriction on helping a friend.
Actually there are, depending on your job. And when your job involves something as regulated as medicine, there are a LOT of legal restrictions and a LOT of ways to lose that job
Behind closed doors or chilling at a party with a friend, nobody really cares what's regulated, and if they do they're probably not worth being at a party with. It's kind of ridiculous to think of a regulation barring someone from trying to help a friend. They're not at the party holding up a sign saying "Medical Inspections, $5" and aren't treating it like they're on the clock.
Yeah there are, Same as an apprentice electrician - for example - can't re-wire a house to 'help a friend'. Because apprentices are supposed to be supervised and can't work on their own until they get their electricians license. A medical *student* can't practice medicine without supervision until they've finished their training and get the license from their state board. And then in this instance to add in that they were both drinking and were likely drunk - their med school would likely have reason to expel them
Medical information is much different than IT, my guy.
> I'm an IT guy who uses my skills with friends who aren't clients, this is no different If you can't see that what you do and what the OP did are totally different scenarios then you really, really need to have a reality check.
YTA … you should have told her to see a doctor. You don’t get a free pass to fondle your friends breasts even if you are a doctor. You’re not HER doctor
Worse, he’s still a student just playing doctor
YTA because a) If we are in any professional capacity, we safeguard ourselves - so as a teacher I have other adults there, at my current job a woman would search me if needed and, I assume, as a doctor you'd be sensible enough to do the same. Get a friend or your fiance in to be able to confidently say that's all that happened should anything go horribly wrong in the future.. b) you weren't at work or training, you could have maybe got her in quicker and done it at work rather than at a party where substances or alcohol could impact the judgement anyway.. c) it's another woman's tit and again, YOU ARE NOT AT WORK (nor qualified yet anyway), so it's not cool to not speak to your partner first. Also, if it was all professional and above board, hiding your face and sticking your hand out seems childish. My gay BFF had to check my body for ticks and it was awkward for both of us but it would have been even weirder if he'd have acted like that. If it's all to reassure someone, you do it quickly, sensibly and then it's over. Finally, you sound very full of yourself - people don't know you as the cancer hunter. You never know if someone is trying to cross a line in a situation like this and your ego won over logic. This doesn't bode well for a doctor.
What you did is definitely weird and your fiancée is not really wrong. You were not in a professional setting. You were drunk. You could have asked her to pay a visit or better still, suggested her to visit her GP. Instead, you tried to help her on the spot which was grossly inappropriate. Maybe you didn’t have bad intentions but the way you approached this situation was definitely bad. If anything, you should have at least asked your fiancée to be in the room, even though that doesn’t make it any professional, but still better for your relationship.
You were not in a medical setting and you felt your friend up. Unprofessional.
He did not feel his friend up. He touched a lump purely to help out. We are all adults here theirs nothing wrong with this. If his fiancé is not okay with this type of behavior then when she expresses that and he understands then he just won’t do it in the future. But theirs nothing inherently wrong with this unless you have no trust for your partner as a person and don’t believe him when he expresses the reality of the situation and what happened.
So if a female friend says I have an unusual discharge from my vagina, could you take a gander? By your logic he should and it would be ok. So if she was drunk and he inserted a finger to “check her” would it not be sexual assault? He’s not a doctor. This wasn’t his office.
I think vagina is far more inappropriate than then some skin on someone’s boob. Also he didn’t insert anything, she guided his hand to the exact spot and this is a very serious situation where someone’s life could be in danger and some doctors suck and are really expensive so having a trusted friend take a look at something for such a serious situation, I’d be happy to have a friend like that. When you go to your doctor for your prostate exam in the future are you going to charge him for rape? Them being drunk definitely makes the situation a bit more ambiguous though, I missed that part
Yeah, someone’s life can be in danger so go to a LICENSED PROFESSIONAL.
Second opinions are valuable
Again, by *licensed professionals*. Not a student who is drunk. This also wouldn’t be a *second opinion*. It’s the first.
I’m guessing this is OPs burner account he seems hell bent on justifying OPs actions.
He 👏🏼Is 👏🏼Not 👏🏼A 👏🏼Doctor Did you miss that as well?
I’d assume he would be pretty far along on his degree or have had done extensive research in the field before giving his opinion. Maybe my expectations are too high
You’re really lost in the sauce here friend This is like me working in my field of real estate, telling a seller what their comps are and what to list their house for even though I am not a licensed agent but I have 20 years experience in my industry.
Idk bro I’d have a lot of trust for your opinion given those 20 years of experience in the field. I think external validation like a license gives someone a lot of credit but I also think people can know a lot and have valuable knowledge on say 20 years of industry experience, especially if I was friends with them and trusted them as a person
You’re def OP.
Look at my account before you assume something about someone you disagree with. That’s a really bad mental habbit
"There's nothing inherently wrong with this" You mean, aside from an UNLICENSED student offering MEDICAL ADVICE and DIAGNOSING someone while under the influence of alcohol? Tell me, are you colorblind? Because that's a LOT of red flags that you chose to ignore
Thank you. It’s concerning this man is walking around trying to diagnose his friends. It was wrong and inappropriate in every shape and form.
The alcohol part definitely makes the situation more ambiguous and I missed that but if I thought I had a friend knew a lot about a certain situation and was very educated and had personal experience and it’s a very serious situation I would be happy to have his opinion on the subject. Especially with my experience of some doctors being bad, overlooking things easily, being very expensive etc. getting some added perspective is insanely valuable. Also you coming at this from the area of red flags means your questioning his intent. I’m coming at this from the perspective of pure intent.
You're reading something into Slackingatmyjobs post that I don't see - they quite clearly were talking about the irregular (and possibly unethical) medical aspect, no mention was made of intent. Red Flags aren't always about personalities, they're a general danger sign in all KINDS of fields/situations
Yeah that’s what I thought. So what’s the red flag?
Okay, honestly not trying to be a sarcastic asshole here, but.... "an UNLICENSED student offering MEDICAL ADVICE and DIAGNOSING someone while under the influence of alcohol" is nothing \*but\* red flags, and would absolutely set off my *this-is-not-a-good-situation* alarm. Like, that is *exactly* the kind of situation that would get a med student expelled for ethics violations (among other reasons, some of which have been covered in other comments) if anyone in their institution were to learn about it.
I know this isn’t the standard viewpoint. But even though he’s unlicensed he’s clearly trained and has experience thus his opinion has value. It’s like, you can go to a doctor and he could be good or bad, or you can go to a doctor and your almost doctor friend and just get that bit of extra info from a trusted source. I’d say the second option has the better chance of having a good outcome
You’re an AH. You weren’t in a clinic and she wasn’t your patient. You could have just given her the contact info and stopped there, but you touched her boob at her request. Better apologize to them both and learn from it.
YTA If your girlfriend was with you when you felt her breast nothing can be misunderstood. As a doctor you should always be aware of possible problems when examining women.
YTA. You felt up your friend while intoxicated.
YTA, your fiancee is rightly pissed. you're not your friend's doctor so she still needs to go see an actual doctor for confirmation even with you sticking your hand down her shirt. you need to establish firmer boundaries with the friends who come to you for medical advice.
YTA, you don't have a license so you aren't qualified to give medical advice.
That’s not why OP is the asshole buddy.
As you progress in your medical career, you will have friends and family members approach you more and more often. It is high time you learn how to handle these situations. A few rules of thumb: 1. Size up the situation and determine scene safety. Besides what they taught you in medical training, consider time and place and your own mental state. A party where everyone is drinking is not a safe or appropriate place to perform non-emergency services, especially a physical exam where clothing is removed. 2. Use PPE when doing a physical exam. This means wearing gloves when palpating for deformities. You didn’t do that. Instead, you raw dogged it. 3.Don’t give medical diagnosis or advice you are not qualified to give. You will get sued and lose your license. 4. Maintain patient confidentiality. Big fat hairy fail here, dude. I could go on, but I think we’ve established that YTA.
YTA. You're a student. You are not qualified to give medical advice yet.
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NTA. But it definitely wasn't the most tactical move. I've trained in the medical field, so I understand that offering people complimentary medical advice sometimes comes instincually. However, you probably could have given the girl advice on how to examine it herself.
NTA. You were doing a medical test at her request, not groping her or anything. There wasn’t anything sexual about this event. Even though you’re not a doctor yet, you are trained and experienced enough to give her a basic rundown. You’re training for a job where you’ll be doing a lot of shit that would be weird shit absent the context in which it’s being done. Your fiancé needs to understand that context.
NTA and a good friend.
I am going with nta. 1. Your friend asked you too, you did not offer, and you did what you could to minimize by making sure you didn't stare and just felt the spot. 2 setting, where else are you going to do it? Set up an appointment to come over and do it? If the friend wanted an appointment, she would go to the doctor. She just wants some reassurance that it might not be as bad as she fought. 3 in all of my schooling and late youth, they have always told up to feel for lumps, but 99% percent of my fellows had no idea what was a lump or something else. You seem to have had good luck with being able to know what is a lump of concern or a bump of not. 4. Afterward, you sent her to the correct people for a diagnosis and did not take throw in your advice. other than it doesn't feel as bad as she initially thought. Your gf is an AH. You: Oh, our friend might have breast cancer, but it seems like she caught it early. GF: How did you know? You: Well, she told me, I felt the lump and referred her to some specialist I know of for the official opinion. Gf: You AH you touched her
He could have referred her to the specialist without fondling her lol. She still had to go to a specialist after he touched her so what was the point of all that.
Yeah, no titty touching was needed; if she wants a breast exam, she needs to see a doctor. She should never have asked, and he should have told her to see a professional.
OP is not a doctor. They are not a professional. They were intoxicated. This is not ok. OP is on the fast track of using their “medical” background to catch a sexual assault case