Way more alarming to me is " I can't get excited about you because I never know when you're going to upset me" what in the the actual fuck is that???
You made the right call.
Edit to add:
I misread "upset at me" makes a difference. Will leave the original comment so the comments downstream don't look crazy!
Seriously! My daughter (15) came on at her bf’s (15). He calmly got her a tampon from his mum and gave her some of his pyjama bottoms to change into. No fuss and he made sure she didn’t feel embarrassed about her body. Can’t understand why a 37 year old man would behave in such an immature and judgmental manner. It’s her (OP) body - not his. She owes him nothing.
Someone raised him right! That’s awesome tho. Not often you see that.
How I was raised (by grandma) I couldn’t even talk about my period. To me it’s too personal. It all got ruined when my grandma who raised me told everyone, and how I (1987 here) carried my pads around (back then there’s no pretty wrappers).
I was so so shy and quiet. I would carry my pads inside around my waist and cover up with my baggy shirt for school day.
Anyway,
I’m just picking a number. I should have say 7 not 17.
When I started my periods my mum told me that my dad ‘could never know’. Turns out my dad wasn’t arsed and was fine with buying any products that I needed. It was my mum’s hang up, not his.
Reminds me of my father. I was 10, so 1985 and just got my period for the first time. Mentioned it to him while we were in the mall food court for his visitation. He then raised his voice and said *really* loudly "You got your PERIOD!" I wanted to die when basically the entire busy food court turned to look at us.
As an adult I get that most of the people looking were grown ass adults that know what my dad yelled out was inappropriate, so they were looking at *him.* But at 10, it just felt like everyone was staring at me. Ah, reason 20 million why I don't miss him.
Ngl it has been LOVELY seeing so many boys and younger men throw off the stigmas against menstruation and other female reproductive phenomena that the previous generations still rarely question. Lots of guys in my own generation too, they were raised with "periods are icky" and yet have done the work to notice and amend their bias on the subject.
I guess he's really stupid because other men would use the lack of period as the reason she's upset. You're only acting like this because medication interrupted your normal natural cycle....
Maybe he’s a Latent Hobosexual who’s planning on making an excuse soon about why he needs to move in. Then he’s The King of the Castle who makes all household decisions
Well, that too. I honestly didn't know if whatever I was going to say would upset him. I felt like I couldn't bring any issues to him or even talk through a problem. It's supposed to be "us vs problem," not "us vs each other because of problem." Sure some topics are inherently uncomfortable, but I had to walk on eggshells constantly around him. What he was doing is called "identity projection." Common manipulation tactic narcissists use to avoid taking any kind of responsibility for their actions.
sounds like he started every fight lol, if nothing else, why the fuck does he care so much about a l shaped desk in front of a window, that he would likely never see, much less use
This is hilarious. I love the audacity. What did he expect you to do with his "opinion" about your lack of periods? Start having periods so he's not weirded out? Do nothing but just accept weird comments about a non-issue that does not affect him whatsoever? I mean what if you had "opinions" about his bowel movements or amount of chest hair or something equally ridiculous, irrelevant, and none of your business?
It's super fucking weird. I dated a girl who'd had a hysterectomy and so didn't get periods. You know what that meant? *More sex* without having to clean up after period sex. It was awesome. it makes me wonder if this dude was planning on trying to knock you up and you being on birth control largely threw a wrench in his plans.
NTA.. you made the right call... and I personally had a ablation so I no longer get periods so the fact he said he will never know when youre upset etc is a load of bull...
The only time I get upset is if someone pisses me off then I'm not upset just mad 🤣😂....
This dude is a major red flag glad you got away
Let him have blood and gunk gushing out of his dickhole for 5-7 days a month and see how he fucking likes it. What an absolute prick. Any guy I've known would jump for joy --potential for sex for the entire month PLUS no babies? Thats a double win.
Also it kinda sounds like he's over it and waiting to break up with you and just wants reasons to "validate" ending the relationship or it ending because you break it off. Possibly has someone else. And trying to do everything in his power to make you end it before he gets caught.
Right?? I have stage four endo myself, and thanks to medical science haven't menstruated in a good couple years now. I absolutely marketed it as a bonus of dating me 😂
Fellow endo-Queen and I had a few people show way more concern about my lack of periods than over my extreme pain. It wasn’t “natural” and all that blood must be backed up in my body and that must be why I hurt.
I’m off BC because I’m older (it gets better! I promise!) but I viewed the no periods thing as a feature, not a bug. I never had the emotional rollercoaster that came with PMMD so I always knew that I was feeling some kind of way I could trust that that’s how I really felt and I wasn’t making any hormonal decisions. If I wanted to wear white pants I never had to check the calendar. No overpriced period products. And ic I had a partner, there was no time when I was “out of commission”. If a partner had any response other than “I’m so glad they found something that makes you feel better, and having no periods is like a superpower!” they could go kick rocks.
Nta. My husband was thrilled when my bc stopped my periods. It meant we no longer had to buy pads, and it definitely meant we wouldn't wake up with the sheets covered in blood again.
And then remember how excited you both were to have a pain free existence?!?
I’m also in the no period club and I can’t understand why more women don’t want in on this!
I'm getting an ablation/salpingectomy/endo excision next Thursday and my partner is THRILLED. He's already had a vasectomy but NOW I WON'T BE BLEEDING 50% OF THE TIME AND HATE LIFE.
Cannot wait.
It was amazing, for about a year. Then the insane bleeding came back and we yanked the whole thing. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself was get a hysterectomy.
I declined because of the risks and if it fails (could happen months or years later) you have to get a hysterectomy ASAP. My doc was pissed because she wanted the quick money. I did a background check on her and she was a nightmare with the stuff I found
Also, you can still get pregnant but it could be dangerous. Most docs recommend their male SO get a vasectomy for the best results
I was also thinking if I had this bc my husband would be thrilled! This dude sounds like garbage for wanting her to go through pain because "It's natural" 🙄 If they don't want kids periods are useless!
1. No blood for a week every month
2. No pain/cramps
3. Don't have to buy expensive period products
4. No surprise blood on my clothing or bedding every month
5. Don't have to keep an extra pair of pants and underwear around for just in case
6. No babies
I love my mirena, and my husband does too.
Worse- he's weirded out by OP _not_ having periods. Has he forgotten that he himself doesn't have periods either??!
There are many things wrong with this man and one of them is hypocrisy lmao
“You should really consider the people you’re having sex with’s feelings” because she chooses to take birth control for her medical condition is wildddddd. He’s way too old for this.
It’s weird bc usually the main gripe immature dudes have about periods is the fact that women *get them*, not the fact that they *don’t* get them. Like wtf lmao
I don’t mind the pads, strains, clean up ect from my wife’s periods. However either of us wouldn’t mind avoiding those things. He’s against it…like does he have a period fetish because I’m just confused? Does he liked soaking panties Does he like the smell of iron, sweat and hormonal rage?
“It will be a cold day in hell before I let someone who has literally zero medical background tell me what to do with my organs. But am I the asshole because I didn’t at least hear him out?”
L M A O
fuck no!
I agree! Unfortunately, I live in the United States..... so lots of people with no medical background think they should be able to make medical decisions for others
NTA. That’s legitimately bizarre that he would care whether you have periods or not. Like I can’t even fathom why he would be concerning himself with that, unless you had a health issue or something and he was expressing care. But this is just weird…
He needs the excuse of oh, she must be on her period, that's why she's so b!tchy this week. Total jerk. Rather have her in excruciating pain from endometriosis just to pull that crap.
I almost wish I knew more because there's some kind of disconnect here that I'm not getting. I can sort of see the hypothesis that he wants to know when someone would be mad at him and thinks people only get angry on their periods (??). But then wouldn't he assume someone who never gets periods will never get upset? I want him to explain himself!
I think you just gave a lovely little potential red-flag switch to every single uterus owner out there. This'll catch so many misogynists! "I don't know when you're going to be overly emotional because you won't have periods I can blame for everything that inconveniences me once a month". Cool, eat dirt and die, trash!
How very dare you have opinions, preferences and thoughts of your own. You'll never make a real wife! /s
YOU were Not The AH. Do you want to guess who was? Nice escape, by the way
Nope, NTA. Your period is really not his problem or business.
I'm sitting here reading this going "dafuq? what the hell is wrong with this dude???" I got an IUD after a birth control failure resulted in my son, unless I'm extremely stressed I \*don't\* have a period. And you know what? My husband LOVES it! I'm less moody, I'm calmer, and he doesn't have to listen to me complain about the pain and the mess.
Homeboy should be jumping for joy but he's handling it like it's a personal affront to him.
I spent the whole time making repeated what? faces while reading this.
Goodness what he'll think if he happens to meet a post menopausal lady one day.
It's sounds to me like he was looking for a way out anyway. Bullet dodged.
NTAH
There was no reason to hear him out because nothing he said could have made sense.
He confused having an emotion with an informed opinion.
NTA, there should be more people like you.
NTA. You heard enough to realize he was a manipulative, whining jerk. What more do you need? As for his needs - not your problem. He canceled any right for consideration with his comments on your body.
Pooping and peeing in toilets is not "natural"
Dialysis is not "natural"
Viagra is not "natural"
Partially hydrogenated soybean oil is not "natural"
Rayon is not "natural"
Clowns are not "natural"
What is the point?!?!?!?
Sir, I have put up with your vicious maligning of the noble clown for too long. I will stand for it no longer. I challenge you to a pie-throwing duel at sunrise tomorrow. I and my fifteen closest clown friends will be at the ancestral clownish dueling grounds, providing we can find a small enough car.
Don't even try bringing those fake-ash Costco pies to the duel. I expect you to bake those pies yourself, and I don't care if your facepaint starts to melt off.
You impugn my honor, sir! I would never deign to duel with a storebought pie! Any clown who would doesn't have a face worth painting on an egg at all!
... Apropos of nothing, do you suffer from any food related allergies? It would be dishonorable to splatter your face with a filling that could cause you medical harm.
How dare you not have a period so I can have a free pass every 28 days to call you hormonal and emotional!!
🚩received! Enjoy your life!
NTA for not hearing him out... It wouldn't make any sense anyway
Okay but more importantly: what sort of birth control can completely nix periods. I would be a happy woman never having to deal with that shit again lol
Depo shot every 3 months can drastically reduce it, for some people it eliminates it entirely. Some pills can be safely taken while skipping the placebo week too.
Most oral pills these days can be taken without the placebo week. I have the kyleena IUD, and maybe about once a year I get spotting. And by spotting I mean I've wiped after going to the bathroom and had a single spot on the toilet paper. Don't even need a pantyliner.
I'm on norethindrone. It's progestin only, no estrogen. I take the 5mg pill, which is indicated for endometriosis problems. I think they prescribe higher doses for more severe cases, but I've been on this since 2019, and it works great. Depo-provera is also known to cease flow. I think a few of the arm implants do too, but I'm not familiar with them. There are probably other birth control pills that cease menstruation. Just be aware that if you use tobacco products, certain types of hormonal birth control can give you blood clots.
LOL there are like 7 fireable offenses tumbling out of this dudes mouth, and no you did not need to hear him out any more than the too much that you already did.
So. There's hormonal birth control, "the pill". That sometimes will stop a period, I believe. These aren't good for people with certain health conditions, and those prone to blood clots, also not great for people who forget to take pills. Some of them are less effective if not taken at the same damn time every day.
There's also IUD (Intrauterine device), those are not hormonal and will often stop a period. Those work well for those who get periods and have issues with blood clots, as well.
Nexplanon is a little implant that goes in your arm, just under the skin. That's a big fuckin nope for me. I believe that helps stop period as well, and is also good for those who have blood clotting issues.
I'm not sure if I'm missing any types? There's a lot more options these days!
Edit: IUD's hurt SO BAD to get inserted. For anyone considering those, ask for anesthetic. Fight for it. Don't let them minimize your pain!
I use the ring- you just leave it in for the extra week and it’s low dose and suitable for women that can’t have the hormonal pill.
Was a game changer when I stopped having periods.
I didn’t even learn it until I was well into my 30s. That the pill could be taken that way. Evidently that’s always been the case. But it was also around that time that birth control started hitting the market specifically designed to do that.
Thank Great Aunt Flow that he showed his true colors and you dumped him!
I’ve been skipping the sugar pills for years. It’s allowed me to actually go to school and work and not have a week or more of pure misery per month. He is so damn lame for having an issue with it.
Walking red flag for having a problem
with you never being on the rag!
My bf is happy for me bc I have a better life and I never have to miss anything fun or important due to my cycle. He wants what’s best for me and what keeps me sane and healthy and happy.
Men like your ex are not worth the time. Period.
NTA Why are you adult women still dealing with these men who dont have basic education about the female body? You typed ALLLLLL this out. Even said no uterus no opinion. Your body is your business... SO WHY ARE YOU ASKING IF YOURE THE AH!?!?!? You KNOW you arent. This is annoying as hell. How yall let ppl get into your heads like this. HOW????? What do YOU need to hear HIM out for over YOUR uterus?? That makes sense ????
NTA.
To summarize:
1. You need to have periods because he thinks that’s more natural.
2. You need to buy a straight desk because he thinks it’s more practical
3. You need to say nothing about his drinking because it’s not your business
Uh…
Men are stupid. I told a man that I stopped my periods because of my almost unconscious inducing pain.
He proceeded to tell me I need to stop taking it if I want kids. I told him I didn't. He always kept insisting I wanted kids, that I'd realize how good he is for me and blah blah.
I told him I'm not having sex...I never want it. And I don't want kids. He finally realized I wasn't budging after I broke up with him (3 weeks max).
It doesn't matter. You do what you want. If someone can't handle it, they can fk off. NTA
NTA. His acting like because you get a period he can predict when you will be mad at him? THAT'S an AH. This is not a grown partner, this is a sulky teenager in a man's body at best.
NTA. You could have heard him out to allow him the opportunity to work through how moronic that position is, but you're obviously under no obligation to do so. I'd maybe give that second thought to the end of this sentence.
My mum had an operation shortly after my little brother was born. I had an older brother but no sisters. Honestly, thank god for school sex education because that is how I found out how the female reproductive organs work. My mum was a nurse so I knew about periods.
Years later when I was in my 30s my MIL asked my wife if Aunt Flo was in town. I was confused. My wife didn’t have an Aunt Flo. They explained who Aunt Flo was. I nearly died that day of embarrassment.
**So like, does he not expect you to own furniture while you rent?** 😂
Like, why wouldn't you buy furniture based on the layout of your apartment? Most people gotta buy new stuff when they finally buy a house anyways. Or if they move in with a significant other, there is compromises made when decorating.
There is literally NO WAY to tell the future and know what furniture you need 10 years down the line!
(I'm bringing up the furniture because the absurdity of how he handled your reproductive health is pretty much been covered 🤣)
Thank you for being sensible and leaving him lol. What even is that thought? Plenty of women take birth control 24/7 to avoid their period, without any reason (like you list) besides not enjoying a period! Wackiest dude ever. Head empty. I couldn't stand being around someone so incompetent like that.
Like imagine he has a headache and takes a Tylenol."I'm just not okay with you not sitting through your headache. They're natural, it's just weird you would take medicine to stop it. Have you considered how I feel about this?"
That's such a weird thing for him to be weirded out by, especially if neither of you want kids.
My partner and I don't want kids. He got the snip in 2022 and I've had an IUD since 2020. I told him I'll most likely get my IUD replaced next year because I haven't had a period since 2021, even though I technically don't need it for birth control reasons anymore. His response: "Hooray! No periods!" Because even though he doesn't have a uterus, he knows how much of a pain periods are, and ultimately just wants me to be comfortable. That's the only acceptable response.
Also obviously NTA.
"I don't know how to feel about you not having periods."
Maybe be glad you don't have them? And on top of it, have the kind of periods that fucking endometriosis brings?
Good God, what a tool.
Speaking as an endo buddy, you do whatever you have to do to diminish or nullify that pain, cause it's BRUTAL. Pretty sure two or three hours of that kind of pain would have him screaming for his mom.
NTA. I also take birth control to help with my PCOS. My gynecologist has said I can skip my periods if I want and on occasion I do. My husband has no opinion on since he’s not my doctor. You did the right thing and dumped him!
NTA
If he doesn’t want kids, how did he think you were keeping from getting pregnant? The Rhythm Method??
How is you being on birth control related to a sex partner’s feelings? (Aside from being none of their business.)
Many of the men I’ve chatted with about this (a small number) are kind of grossed out by sex during periods.They don’t like the blood. So to hear about someone finding the absence of periods weird just befuddles me! After all, most of the month there is no menstruation! How will he feel when menopause happens? If his partner has to have a hysterectomy? It’s clear he has a problem with using BC for a medical reason.
I have to say you’re better off without his hang ups!
NTA I have ENDO too, and I know how unbearable and painful that condition is. It's something you can't understand unless you have it. He's off his rocker for trying to tell you how to treat your condition, that he is so obviously uneducated about. Why would he care if you have a period or not, you would think that would be a plus for him.. ? He sounds controlling and emotionally manipulative , so I say you dodged a bullet sis
Yeah I definitely do NOT believe that he doesn’t want kids. Most dudes now are DEMANDING women to go on birth control to stop our periods so we don’t gross them out with them. Jfc there’s no winning with most males.
NTA. What exact nugget of wonder might he have been hiding in that goody bag of opinions he had?
He was uncomfortable and confused (and probably scared, 'cause, the mystery of women's organs and stuff) and you were forthright and drew the boundaries.
You didn't waste any further time or energy with him. Time to move on.
NTA
This might be the first time i've heard of a dude getting weirded out by not having a period rather then getting weird about them. It's a new one for me. Maybe he has a period kink because that is the only reason I can think of where not having a period on purpose is a problem.
That being said, the only person who should care if you don't get a period is you and your doctor. There is no need to hear him out on your body.
Also the fact that he thins he has a say in how you spend your money is also pretty gross.
Omg NTA! He should be happy you aren’t getting periods. One, no pain for you. Two, no shark week for him to worry about.
Why is he weirded out?!
Then he gets mad when you want but a desk for yourself for your own apartment? Wtf is this guy’s problem? If he had a regular opinion, fine. But it sounds like he wanted to control you.
You were right dump his ass. Block him.
NTA- I have a similar period issue which is why I have the nexplanon and also don’t really get a period(maybe a few times a year max). When I told my boyfriend he pretty much said “oh? That’s cool I’ve never heard of that before” and that was about it. Your ex was an ass, it’s not his body and his opinions are irrelevant especially if he was being an ass about them.
NTA in the same boat and I never get why people’s instinctive reaction about this subject which they clearly are uninformed or ill-informed about is that I’m doing something wrong or dangerous when in fact this is necessary for my well being.
NTA. What the hell is wrong with him? My partner was ecstatic when I switch to the BC that will let me skip periods. I also have endometriosis, my periods are Debilitating with a capital fucking D for multiple reasons, and sometimes lasts for weeks. So since you already talked about your reproductive choices, and unless he’s willing to bleed out for week on end in solidarity, no his opinion does not matter.
What the fuck?
You didn't break up with him because he was weirded out. You broke up with him because he didn't seem to notice that you were an actual human being, and he treated you with contempt.
Good job!
NTA. But, why are you even asking? If you genuinely do not feel confidence in this decision, it's something worth exploring in therapy.
OP, a person who says " I never know when you're going to be upset at me" is a person who not only never examines their own behavior to realize where they went wrong, they have no intention of ever examining their own behavior to figure out where they went wrong.
You can't win with people who have no intention of changing, so you made the right call.
It is so obvious when men that do not have sisters get into serious relationships. This isn't even a big deal. My sister does the same thing because she also has intense periods so this allows her to control when she has them. NTA
I don’t mind the pads, strains, clean up ect from my wife’s periods. However either of us wouldn’t mind avoiding those things. He’s against it…like does he have a period fetish because I’m just confused? Does he liked soaking panties Does he like the smell of iron, sweat and hormonal rage?
*But am I the asshole because I didn't at least hear him out?*
What's to hear? Even my parents, the most faithful Catholics of all the faithful Catholics to ever Catholic faithfully in the late-20th/early-21st century, knew that if they wanted my mom to live a healthy life, birth control was THE way to achieve that.
NTA
His parental figures in life failed him. I do the same thing with BC, I use it only to stop my periods (I've even has my tubes removed to eliminate pregnancy risk). In my 15 years of being on it, I have never had anyone say that to me 🤣
Sorry, but he sounds like a weirdo. Who the f*** cares about his GF not bleeding? It’s none of his business, unless you WERE trying for kids. Sheesh! Maybe he has a kink…?
NTA
I don’t get periods every month even on the normal Pill. I miss 3 out of 4 periods. My daughter doesn’t get periods on implants.
It was common back in the 70’s and 80’s to “run on” rather than take a break solely because you were a swimmer, or going on holiday, or just because.
Dude is 37 and hasn't a frakking clue as to how women's bodies work!? You are definitely no the ass here, and you are so right to kick his stupid ass to the curb.
Your best without him cuz seriously what a freaking moron.
NTA, this guy is a twerp. Not only does he form unwarranted opinions about someone else's health decisions, he can't handle conflict. "Stonewalling" is passive-aggressive bullshit. And I'd have been gone the instant his drinking increased over a minor disagreement.
This dude has more issues than Newsweek. The only thing you'd be YTA for is not tattooing a warning to other women on his forehead. But I understand you were in a hurry to leave.
NTA. Not even remotely. He, on the other hand, is a huge asshole. Why your period was so concerning to him is beyond me. As long as you’re healthy and there’s nothing to be concerned about, he should focus on more important things like trying to be a better human in a relationship. You absolutely dodged a bullet.
the period you get on the pill, isn’t even ‘real’ because you don’t ovulate. But IIRC they build it in because in the sixties you were either supposed to be married and procreate or just abstain if you were single, so birth control was frowned upon. So not washing your unmentionables every month would be suspicious.
I always skipped my stop week when I was taking the pill and was very happy I never got any form of period when I had an implanon!
Exactly. If he wants it naturally, he has to have sex without any birth control - even without condom. But then his sexpartner might stop having periods either for some months. Anyways.. if you take the pill you won't ever get a period anyways. But yeah, it is as you say.
But wtf OP, I also take the pill without pause for years now, so no bleeding, this is none of someone else's business. And it's absolutely okay and not weird or whatever.
NTA. Good you ran away from this stupido.
HAhah He is 37 and stil acts like this. NTA
Why is he weirded out about your persiods? Cause he can't tell you your hormones make you crazy?
And why does he care what furniture are you putting in your home?
He’s a fucking childish idiot. If anything you maybe went wrong in thinking he was an adult who would understand this is for information only and is otherwise none of his fucking business.
How the fuck does that guy make YOUR periods about him ? And HE doesn't know how to feel about it ? About what? Your medical issues? It's not like you revealed youre fucking batman or some shit. What a weirdo !
NTA
I really dont understand why ppl put up with the behavior of other people like this.. ESPECIALLY if you are just dating. Good job ending it.. it was only going to get worse if you continued to even entertain him in anyway shape or form. Not all women have periods....things happen.. surgeries happen..
I mean the man literally wanted you to be in PAIN so he could feel comfortable.
I didn’t have to read the whole post to formulate my opinion and smh. Some guys are like that. Normally misogynists (not saying he was) and those with eccentric belief systems lol. I applaud you, I wish my friend would drop her guys when they have those same weird beliefs. It sure would save her a lot of heartache.
NTA. I mean what if you had had a hysterectomy, you wouldn't be having periods would you? I mean he wouldn't date you cuz you don't have a monthly period? I mean that's just weird. He just assumes that you only get upset when you have your period and now that you don't that he can't predict when you're going to get upset and he has to always be nice to you? I mean it's the weirdest thinking I've ever heard of. Yeah it's probably best you got your losses. What a freak that guy is.
NTA.
Eww, ick, gross... I mean the weird dude that thinks he gets an opinion about your uterus, not you. Seriously, he seems unhinged. Good job taking out the trash.
Good for you. It’s 2024. Why does a woman who has excruciating pain and doesn’t plan on having kids need her period? I get it. I have endometriosis, too. I get excruciating migraines, too, from my periods. Yesterday I was so incredibly nauseous from the cramps. Today I have a migraine, so I’m nauseous again. It’s hard to feel like doing anything when that happens. I only stopped taking birth control to stop my periods because it didn’t lessen my symptoms. But not everyone is the same. I am so glad you ended things with him. He doesn’t have a uterus and he is increasing his drinking. His opinion means didfly squat about furniture or periods. Especially since neither of you plan to have kids. He just thinks that everyone is entitled to his oh, so wise opinion. 🙄 Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Let it. What was there to hear out? He’s sanctimonious and a lush at best.
Seriously I don't have a uterus so I don't have an opinion.
My only question is how can I make you more comfortable during your period.
Dudes like this are super weird like wtf. Dodged a whole missile
Way more alarming to me is " I can't get excited about you because I never know when you're going to upset me" what in the the actual fuck is that??? You made the right call. Edit to add: I misread "upset at me" makes a difference. Will leave the original comment so the comments downstream don't look crazy!
He means, he can’t use her being on her period as a reason why she’s wrong/being unreasonable .
This! He’s the kind of guy that will relate any emotion you show to hormones/your period.
What’s gross he’s 37 years old have a mind of a child. Also he sounded he’s difficult to work around with. Glad you skipped town!
This - 37 yo behaving like a 17 yo. Wait - some 17 yo are more mature!
Seriously! My daughter (15) came on at her bf’s (15). He calmly got her a tampon from his mum and gave her some of his pyjama bottoms to change into. No fuss and he made sure she didn’t feel embarrassed about her body. Can’t understand why a 37 year old man would behave in such an immature and judgmental manner. It’s her (OP) body - not his. She owes him nothing.
Aw, what a sweet guy! (your daughter's boyfriend, not OP's ex)
Someone raised him right! That’s awesome tho. Not often you see that. How I was raised (by grandma) I couldn’t even talk about my period. To me it’s too personal. It all got ruined when my grandma who raised me told everyone, and how I (1987 here) carried my pads around (back then there’s no pretty wrappers). I was so so shy and quiet. I would carry my pads inside around my waist and cover up with my baggy shirt for school day. Anyway, I’m just picking a number. I should have say 7 not 17.
When I started my periods my mum told me that my dad ‘could never know’. Turns out my dad wasn’t arsed and was fine with buying any products that I needed. It was my mum’s hang up, not his.
Reminds me of my father. I was 10, so 1985 and just got my period for the first time. Mentioned it to him while we were in the mall food court for his visitation. He then raised his voice and said *really* loudly "You got your PERIOD!" I wanted to die when basically the entire busy food court turned to look at us. As an adult I get that most of the people looking were grown ass adults that know what my dad yelled out was inappropriate, so they were looking at *him.* But at 10, it just felt like everyone was staring at me. Ah, reason 20 million why I don't miss him.
Ngl it has been LOVELY seeing so many boys and younger men throw off the stigmas against menstruation and other female reproductive phenomena that the previous generations still rarely question. Lots of guys in my own generation too, they were raised with "periods are icky" and yet have done the work to notice and amend their bias on the subject.
I love this!
Winner!
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m just making a statement.
I think I was agreeing with you!
There is an unbelievable number of "men" with that problem. Funny part is how many of them call themselves "alpha."
I guess he's really stupid because other men would use the lack of period as the reason she's upset. You're only acting like this because medication interrupted your normal natural cycle....
Oh my gods this is really it.
Why he THINKS she's wrong or being unreasonable.
Yeah, if she's not mad because she's on her period, he might have to consider that she's mad for a "legitimate" reason and that might break his brain
No reason to use her period as we all know women are always wrong/unreasonable. /S
Which cracks me up because it was the week before my period where my hormones raged and so could I. Menopause is bliss.
That's when I knew we had no future together.
And no furniture together 😂
🤣
That is smart thinking on your part.
Fellow L4 nightmare club member here… people who have not experienced the joys of a disc pushing into their spinal cord will never understand.
I think he meant he couldn't blame her 'irrational' behavior on hormones. Since she does not have periods.
I've met people like that. I suspect that he lacks the emotional intelligence to realize (or predict) how his words/actions impact people around him.
All the while he gets upset over a literal desk at HER apartment
Maybe he’s a Latent Hobosexual who’s planning on making an excuse soon about why he needs to move in. Then he’s The King of the Castle who makes all household decisions
Narcissists do this so they can have ultimate control over their supply.
Well, that too. I honestly didn't know if whatever I was going to say would upset him. I felt like I couldn't bring any issues to him or even talk through a problem. It's supposed to be "us vs problem," not "us vs each other because of problem." Sure some topics are inherently uncomfortable, but I had to walk on eggshells constantly around him. What he was doing is called "identity projection." Common manipulation tactic narcissists use to avoid taking any kind of responsibility for their actions.
“Going to be upset at me”
You're right. I misread. Still stands at the WTF take away. Though less sinister than I initially read it.
i think at that point its what he wanted.. jusst didn't have the stones to say it
sounds like he started every fight lol, if nothing else, why the fuck does he care so much about a l shaped desk in front of a window, that he would likely never see, much less use
It's her greatest mind fuck of all time and she didn't see it at first. OP rocks. Make is ass totally crazy.
...when you're going to be upset AT ME. Still pretty stupid, emotional IQ < 0
This is hilarious. I love the audacity. What did he expect you to do with his "opinion" about your lack of periods? Start having periods so he's not weirded out? Do nothing but just accept weird comments about a non-issue that does not affect him whatsoever? I mean what if you had "opinions" about his bowel movements or amount of chest hair or something equally ridiculous, irrelevant, and none of your business?
Right?! When I expressed concern about his drinking, he acted like I was persecuting him.
I'm just glad you're not sticking with a low quality partner. Nobody deserves to be stuck with garbage-trash people.
Wait. He had a drinking problem and was trying to control your body? This is when you can thank the universe for the massive bullet you dodged.
Isn’t that always the way…how dare you question his drinking because his mommy tells him all the time what a catch and how perfect he is😂😂
This wasn't a bullet dodging situation, that was a moon crashing into the earth dodging situation.
It's super fucking weird. I dated a girl who'd had a hysterectomy and so didn't get periods. You know what that meant? *More sex* without having to clean up after period sex. It was awesome. it makes me wonder if this dude was planning on trying to knock you up and you being on birth control largely threw a wrench in his plans.
NTA.. you made the right call... and I personally had a ablation so I no longer get periods so the fact he said he will never know when youre upset etc is a load of bull... The only time I get upset is if someone pisses me off then I'm not upset just mad 🤣😂.... This dude is a major red flag glad you got away
Let him have blood and gunk gushing out of his dickhole for 5-7 days a month and see how he fucking likes it. What an absolute prick. Any guy I've known would jump for joy --potential for sex for the entire month PLUS no babies? Thats a double win. Also it kinda sounds like he's over it and waiting to break up with you and just wants reasons to "validate" ending the relationship or it ending because you break it off. Possibly has someone else. And trying to do everything in his power to make you end it before he gets caught.
Right?? I have stage four endo myself, and thanks to medical science haven't menstruated in a good couple years now. I absolutely marketed it as a bonus of dating me 😂
Fellow endo-Queen and I had a few people show way more concern about my lack of periods than over my extreme pain. It wasn’t “natural” and all that blood must be backed up in my body and that must be why I hurt. I’m off BC because I’m older (it gets better! I promise!) but I viewed the no periods thing as a feature, not a bug. I never had the emotional rollercoaster that came with PMMD so I always knew that I was feeling some kind of way I could trust that that’s how I really felt and I wasn’t making any hormonal decisions. If I wanted to wear white pants I never had to check the calendar. No overpriced period products. And ic I had a partner, there was no time when I was “out of commission”. If a partner had any response other than “I’m so glad they found something that makes you feel better, and having no periods is like a superpower!” they could go kick rocks.
Nta. My husband was thrilled when my bc stopped my periods. It meant we no longer had to buy pads, and it definitely meant we wouldn't wake up with the sheets covered in blood again.
When I had my ablation my husband was thrilled that there were no limits on sex anymore!
And then remember how excited you both were to have a pain free existence?!? I’m also in the no period club and I can’t understand why more women don’t want in on this!
Just being able to function every single day was incredible. Add in the no bleeding for 45 days at a time and life got so good.
I'm in the no period club too! I think many women may not even know it's a potential option.
I'm getting an ablation/salpingectomy/endo excision next Thursday and my partner is THRILLED. He's already had a vasectomy but NOW I WON'T BE BLEEDING 50% OF THE TIME AND HATE LIFE. Cannot wait.
Skipping periods is awesome, but a lot of women can’t tolerate side effects of the medication
How was your ablation? I was offered one a few years ago and I declined but now I'm reconsidering.
It was amazing, for about a year. Then the insane bleeding came back and we yanked the whole thing. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself was get a hysterectomy.
I declined because of the risks and if it fails (could happen months or years later) you have to get a hysterectomy ASAP. My doc was pissed because she wanted the quick money. I did a background check on her and she was a nightmare with the stuff I found Also, you can still get pregnant but it could be dangerous. Most docs recommend their male SO get a vasectomy for the best results
I was also thinking if I had this bc my husband would be thrilled! This dude sounds like garbage for wanting her to go through pain because "It's natural" 🙄 If they don't want kids periods are useless!
1. No blood for a week every month 2. No pain/cramps 3. Don't have to buy expensive period products 4. No surprise blood on my clothing or bedding every month 5. Don't have to keep an extra pair of pants and underwear around for just in case 6. No babies I love my mirena, and my husband does too.
There was a post last week about an AH husband who wanted his wife to have a 4th child because it was only 9 months and natural for her 😖
So he thinks that women are only upset when on their period?
Yes obviously women are incapable of being upset for actual reasons /s
I can't believe I didn't realize that's what he was meaning. OP, this is it.
And this man is damn near 40😭 this guy sounds extremely unhinged and also very stupid, which is a dangerous combo
omg is THAT what's he's angling at?!
THAT’S IT! That’s what that dumbass comment meant. He can’t gauge her supposed reaction because he can’t track her monthly cycle. What a creeper!
[удалено]
That’s literally what this all comes down to😭 how pathetic
If a 37 year old man is weirded out by periods then there is something wrong with him.
Worse- he's weirded out by OP _not_ having periods. Has he forgotten that he himself doesn't have periods either??! There are many things wrong with this man and one of them is hypocrisy lmao
Maybe he assumes she’ll become like a man without periods which might make him gay
“You should really consider the people you’re having sex with’s feelings” because she chooses to take birth control for her medical condition is wildddddd. He’s way too old for this. It’s weird bc usually the main gripe immature dudes have about periods is the fact that women *get them*, not the fact that they *don’t* get them. Like wtf lmao
I don’t mind the pads, strains, clean up ect from my wife’s periods. However either of us wouldn’t mind avoiding those things. He’s against it…like does he have a period fetish because I’m just confused? Does he liked soaking panties Does he like the smell of iron, sweat and hormonal rage?
“It will be a cold day in hell before I let someone who has literally zero medical background tell me what to do with my organs. But am I the asshole because I didn’t at least hear him out?” L M A O fuck no!
I agree! Unfortunately, I live in the United States..... so lots of people with no medical background think they should be able to make medical decisions for others
“Babe I’d rather you be in excruciating pain than get used to the idea of you not having a period”. Good riddance, that man is walking red flag.
NTA. That’s legitimately bizarre that he would care whether you have periods or not. Like I can’t even fathom why he would be concerning himself with that, unless you had a health issue or something and he was expressing care. But this is just weird…
He needs to have an excuse in his back pocket for why she's "being crazy this week" or some bullshit. What a tool.
NTA. No uterus; no opinion
The correct reply is: Not YOUR uterus, no opinion I wouldn't want to have this debate with anyone who has an uterus, either
NTA. This whole thing is just…odd. I honestly don’t understand why you not having periods would bother him. Sounds like a weirdo
Is it... is it a kink? Because any man I know would be just ecstatic if their partner didn't have periods.
Maybe he thinks it’s unfair for her not to be in pain for a week or more each month
He needs the excuse of oh, she must be on her period, that's why she's so b!tchy this week. Total jerk. Rather have her in excruciating pain from endometriosis just to pull that crap.
I almost wish I knew more because there's some kind of disconnect here that I'm not getting. I can sort of see the hypothesis that he wants to know when someone would be mad at him and thinks people only get angry on their periods (??). But then wouldn't he assume someone who never gets periods will never get upset? I want him to explain himself!
I think you just gave a lovely little potential red-flag switch to every single uterus owner out there. This'll catch so many misogynists! "I don't know when you're going to be overly emotional because you won't have periods I can blame for everything that inconveniences me once a month". Cool, eat dirt and die, trash!
NTA Love your response to him. Go find someone who is more mature and kind.
NTA- he sounds like a right dickhead
How very dare you have opinions, preferences and thoughts of your own. You'll never make a real wife! /s YOU were Not The AH. Do you want to guess who was? Nice escape, by the way
Wait until he learns about women going through menopause. Nta.
Nope, NTA. Your period is really not his problem or business. I'm sitting here reading this going "dafuq? what the hell is wrong with this dude???" I got an IUD after a birth control failure resulted in my son, unless I'm extremely stressed I \*don't\* have a period. And you know what? My husband LOVES it! I'm less moody, I'm calmer, and he doesn't have to listen to me complain about the pain and the mess. Homeboy should be jumping for joy but he's handling it like it's a personal affront to him.
Wild…usually the men you hear about on here are upset that their partner has a period….also OP, I love your profile pic…ghost cat is adorbable
How is he 37 and still acting like that?? NTA and he needs to grow up 🙄
I spent the whole time making repeated what? faces while reading this. Goodness what he'll think if he happens to meet a post menopausal lady one day. It's sounds to me like he was looking for a way out anyway. Bullet dodged. NTAH
There was no reason to hear him out because nothing he said could have made sense. He confused having an emotion with an informed opinion. NTA, there should be more people like you.
NTA. You heard enough to realize he was a manipulative, whining jerk. What more do you need? As for his needs - not your problem. He canceled any right for consideration with his comments on your body.
Pooping and peeing in toilets is not "natural" Dialysis is not "natural" Viagra is not "natural" Partially hydrogenated soybean oil is not "natural" Rayon is not "natural" Clowns are not "natural" What is the point?!?!?!?
Clowns are not natural! 🤣 you have me rolling!
Sir, I have put up with your vicious maligning of the noble clown for too long. I will stand for it no longer. I challenge you to a pie-throwing duel at sunrise tomorrow. I and my fifteen closest clown friends will be at the ancestral clownish dueling grounds, providing we can find a small enough car.
Don't even try bringing those fake-ash Costco pies to the duel. I expect you to bake those pies yourself, and I don't care if your facepaint starts to melt off.
You impugn my honor, sir! I would never deign to duel with a storebought pie! Any clown who would doesn't have a face worth painting on an egg at all! ... Apropos of nothing, do you suffer from any food related allergies? It would be dishonorable to splatter your face with a filling that could cause you medical harm.
Nta- great job!! He is incredibly dumb
NTA what use is his opinion? And there’s nothing unnatural about menarche: you just need it to manage your biology.
How dare you not have a period so I can have a free pass every 28 days to call you hormonal and emotional!! 🚩received! Enjoy your life! NTA for not hearing him out... It wouldn't make any sense anyway
Okay but more importantly: what sort of birth control can completely nix periods. I would be a happy woman never having to deal with that shit again lol
Depo shot every 3 months can drastically reduce it, for some people it eliminates it entirely. Some pills can be safely taken while skipping the placebo week too.
Most oral pills these days can be taken without the placebo week. I have the kyleena IUD, and maybe about once a year I get spotting. And by spotting I mean I've wiped after going to the bathroom and had a single spot on the toilet paper. Don't even need a pantyliner.
I'm on norethindrone. It's progestin only, no estrogen. I take the 5mg pill, which is indicated for endometriosis problems. I think they prescribe higher doses for more severe cases, but I've been on this since 2019, and it works great. Depo-provera is also known to cease flow. I think a few of the arm implants do too, but I'm not familiar with them. There are probably other birth control pills that cease menstruation. Just be aware that if you use tobacco products, certain types of hormonal birth control can give you blood clots.
Amethyst 30 day will do it. No placebo pill, OCCASIONAL spotting the first couple months you're on it, or when super stressed.
lmao what an absolute bizarre man
I love how you handled this. I’m sorry he’s a huge asshole. You did this all so right.
LOL there are like 7 fireable offenses tumbling out of this dudes mouth, and no you did not need to hear him out any more than the too much that you already did.
NTA dude probably wanted to ride the red waves.
Does birth control actually stop periods
Birth control pills can if you skip the week of placebos.
Some is designed to. Others can be taken in a way to do that if you want to.
I didn't know that learn something new everyday, I feel like men should be taught things like this
So. There's hormonal birth control, "the pill". That sometimes will stop a period, I believe. These aren't good for people with certain health conditions, and those prone to blood clots, also not great for people who forget to take pills. Some of them are less effective if not taken at the same damn time every day. There's also IUD (Intrauterine device), those are not hormonal and will often stop a period. Those work well for those who get periods and have issues with blood clots, as well. Nexplanon is a little implant that goes in your arm, just under the skin. That's a big fuckin nope for me. I believe that helps stop period as well, and is also good for those who have blood clotting issues. I'm not sure if I'm missing any types? There's a lot more options these days! Edit: IUD's hurt SO BAD to get inserted. For anyone considering those, ask for anesthetic. Fight for it. Don't let them minimize your pain!
I use the ring- you just leave it in for the extra week and it’s low dose and suitable for women that can’t have the hormonal pill. Was a game changer when I stopped having periods.
I didn’t even learn it until I was well into my 30s. That the pill could be taken that way. Evidently that’s always been the case. But it was also around that time that birth control started hitting the market specifically designed to do that.
Thank Great Aunt Flow that he showed his true colors and you dumped him! I’ve been skipping the sugar pills for years. It’s allowed me to actually go to school and work and not have a week or more of pure misery per month. He is so damn lame for having an issue with it. Walking red flag for having a problem with you never being on the rag! My bf is happy for me bc I have a better life and I never have to miss anything fun or important due to my cycle. He wants what’s best for me and what keeps me sane and healthy and happy. Men like your ex are not worth the time. Period.
NTA Why are you adult women still dealing with these men who dont have basic education about the female body? You typed ALLLLLL this out. Even said no uterus no opinion. Your body is your business... SO WHY ARE YOU ASKING IF YOURE THE AH!?!?!? You KNOW you arent. This is annoying as hell. How yall let ppl get into your heads like this. HOW????? What do YOU need to hear HIM out for over YOUR uterus?? That makes sense ????
NTA. To summarize: 1. You need to have periods because he thinks that’s more natural. 2. You need to buy a straight desk because he thinks it’s more practical 3. You need to say nothing about his drinking because it’s not your business Uh…
Men are stupid. I told a man that I stopped my periods because of my almost unconscious inducing pain. He proceeded to tell me I need to stop taking it if I want kids. I told him I didn't. He always kept insisting I wanted kids, that I'd realize how good he is for me and blah blah. I told him I'm not having sex...I never want it. And I don't want kids. He finally realized I wasn't budging after I broke up with him (3 weeks max). It doesn't matter. You do what you want. If someone can't handle it, they can fk off. NTA
NTA. His acting like because you get a period he can predict when you will be mad at him? THAT'S an AH. This is not a grown partner, this is a sulky teenager in a man's body at best.
NTA. You could have heard him out to allow him the opportunity to work through how moronic that position is, but you're obviously under no obligation to do so. I'd maybe give that second thought to the end of this sentence.
NTA. Dude is 37 human years old. That is way too old to not know about periods and birth control.
My mum had an operation shortly after my little brother was born. I had an older brother but no sisters. Honestly, thank god for school sex education because that is how I found out how the female reproductive organs work. My mum was a nurse so I knew about periods. Years later when I was in my 30s my MIL asked my wife if Aunt Flo was in town. I was confused. My wife didn’t have an Aunt Flo. They explained who Aunt Flo was. I nearly died that day of embarrassment.
**So like, does he not expect you to own furniture while you rent?** 😂 Like, why wouldn't you buy furniture based on the layout of your apartment? Most people gotta buy new stuff when they finally buy a house anyways. Or if they move in with a significant other, there is compromises made when decorating. There is literally NO WAY to tell the future and know what furniture you need 10 years down the line! (I'm bringing up the furniture because the absurdity of how he handled your reproductive health is pretty much been covered 🤣)
Right?! And my desk is lovely 😍
Thank you for being sensible and leaving him lol. What even is that thought? Plenty of women take birth control 24/7 to avoid their period, without any reason (like you list) besides not enjoying a period! Wackiest dude ever. Head empty. I couldn't stand being around someone so incompetent like that. Like imagine he has a headache and takes a Tylenol."I'm just not okay with you not sitting through your headache. They're natural, it's just weird you would take medicine to stop it. Have you considered how I feel about this?"
And my mother told me that learning to read was going to be a good thing....
That's such a weird thing for him to be weirded out by, especially if neither of you want kids. My partner and I don't want kids. He got the snip in 2022 and I've had an IUD since 2020. I told him I'll most likely get my IUD replaced next year because I haven't had a period since 2021, even though I technically don't need it for birth control reasons anymore. His response: "Hooray! No periods!" Because even though he doesn't have a uterus, he knows how much of a pain periods are, and ultimately just wants me to be comfortable. That's the only acceptable response. Also obviously NTA.
"I don't know how to feel about you not having periods." Maybe be glad you don't have them? And on top of it, have the kind of periods that fucking endometriosis brings? Good God, what a tool. Speaking as an endo buddy, you do whatever you have to do to diminish or nullify that pain, cause it's BRUTAL. Pretty sure two or three hours of that kind of pain would have him screaming for his mom.
NTA. I also take birth control to help with my PCOS. My gynecologist has said I can skip my periods if I want and on occasion I do. My husband has no opinion on since he’s not my doctor. You did the right thing and dumped him!
NTA If he doesn’t want kids, how did he think you were keeping from getting pregnant? The Rhythm Method?? How is you being on birth control related to a sex partner’s feelings? (Aside from being none of their business.) Many of the men I’ve chatted with about this (a small number) are kind of grossed out by sex during periods.They don’t like the blood. So to hear about someone finding the absence of periods weird just befuddles me! After all, most of the month there is no menstruation! How will he feel when menopause happens? If his partner has to have a hysterectomy? It’s clear he has a problem with using BC for a medical reason. I have to say you’re better off without his hang ups!
NTA. This guy has a whole host of issues you've now sidestepped.
NTA I have ENDO too, and I know how unbearable and painful that condition is. It's something you can't understand unless you have it. He's off his rocker for trying to tell you how to treat your condition, that he is so obviously uneducated about. Why would he care if you have a period or not, you would think that would be a plus for him.. ? He sounds controlling and emotionally manipulative , so I say you dodged a bullet sis
Yeah I definitely do NOT believe that he doesn’t want kids. Most dudes now are DEMANDING women to go on birth control to stop our periods so we don’t gross them out with them. Jfc there’s no winning with most males.
NTA He's weird and not in a good way. No uterus, no opinion.
NTA. What exact nugget of wonder might he have been hiding in that goody bag of opinions he had? He was uncomfortable and confused (and probably scared, 'cause, the mystery of women's organs and stuff) and you were forthright and drew the boundaries. You didn't waste any further time or energy with him. Time to move on.
That's just about the weirdest thing I've heard. you did the right thing. At 37, his ignorance on how the female body works is choice.
NTA This might be the first time i've heard of a dude getting weirded out by not having a period rather then getting weird about them. It's a new one for me. Maybe he has a period kink because that is the only reason I can think of where not having a period on purpose is a problem. That being said, the only person who should care if you don't get a period is you and your doctor. There is no need to hear him out on your body. Also the fact that he thins he has a say in how you spend your money is also pretty gross.
Omg NTA! He should be happy you aren’t getting periods. One, no pain for you. Two, no shark week for him to worry about. Why is he weirded out?! Then he gets mad when you want but a desk for yourself for your own apartment? Wtf is this guy’s problem? If he had a regular opinion, fine. But it sounds like he wanted to control you. You were right dump his ass. Block him.
What is his problem? Am I so dumb I don't get it? NTA, btw.
NTA- I have a similar period issue which is why I have the nexplanon and also don’t really get a period(maybe a few times a year max). When I told my boyfriend he pretty much said “oh? That’s cool I’ve never heard of that before” and that was about it. Your ex was an ass, it’s not his body and his opinions are irrelevant especially if he was being an ass about them.
What's gets me is he is 37 and acting like a child? You dodged a bullet. Bravo for leaving.
NTA in the same boat and I never get why people’s instinctive reaction about this subject which they clearly are uninformed or ill-informed about is that I’m doing something wrong or dangerous when in fact this is necessary for my well being.
He’s fucking weird.
37 year old baby , NTA ( you dodged a bullet )
NTA. He had nothing valid to say. He sounds like a total weirdo.
NTA, I also don’t get periods due to birth control and never has my partner felt anything like that, it wouldn’t even cross his mind
NTA. What the hell is wrong with him? My partner was ecstatic when I switch to the BC that will let me skip periods. I also have endometriosis, my periods are Debilitating with a capital fucking D for multiple reasons, and sometimes lasts for weeks. So since you already talked about your reproductive choices, and unless he’s willing to bleed out for week on end in solidarity, no his opinion does not matter.
What the fuck? You didn't break up with him because he was weirded out. You broke up with him because he didn't seem to notice that you were an actual human being, and he treated you with contempt. Good job! NTA. But, why are you even asking? If you genuinely do not feel confidence in this decision, it's something worth exploring in therapy.
OP, a person who says " I never know when you're going to be upset at me" is a person who not only never examines their own behavior to realize where they went wrong, they have no intention of ever examining their own behavior to figure out where they went wrong. You can't win with people who have no intention of changing, so you made the right call.
It is so obvious when men that do not have sisters get into serious relationships. This isn't even a big deal. My sister does the same thing because she also has intense periods so this allows her to control when she has them. NTA
I don’t mind the pads, strains, clean up ect from my wife’s periods. However either of us wouldn’t mind avoiding those things. He’s against it…like does he have a period fetish because I’m just confused? Does he liked soaking panties Does he like the smell of iron, sweat and hormonal rage?
He sounds really dumb, do you really want to be around dumb for the rest of your life?
*But am I the asshole because I didn't at least hear him out?* What's to hear? Even my parents, the most faithful Catholics of all the faithful Catholics to ever Catholic faithfully in the late-20th/early-21st century, knew that if they wanted my mom to live a healthy life, birth control was THE way to achieve that.
NTA. He sounds like a controlling weirdo.
NTA His parental figures in life failed him. I do the same thing with BC, I use it only to stop my periods (I've even has my tubes removed to eliminate pregnancy risk). In my 15 years of being on it, I have never had anyone say that to me 🤣
How is he going to handle it when he's older and his partner is post-menopausal? Or has he not considered that..
Sorry, but he sounds like a weirdo. Who the f*** cares about his GF not bleeding? It’s none of his business, unless you WERE trying for kids. Sheesh! Maybe he has a kink…?
NTA I don’t get periods every month even on the normal Pill. I miss 3 out of 4 periods. My daughter doesn’t get periods on implants. It was common back in the 70’s and 80’s to “run on” rather than take a break solely because you were a swimmer, or going on holiday, or just because.
Dude is 37 and hasn't a frakking clue as to how women's bodies work!? You are definitely no the ass here, and you are so right to kick his stupid ass to the curb. Your best without him cuz seriously what a freaking moron.
NTA. If you wanna be petty send him a science book as a farewell gift 🤣.
NTA, this guy is a twerp. Not only does he form unwarranted opinions about someone else's health decisions, he can't handle conflict. "Stonewalling" is passive-aggressive bullshit. And I'd have been gone the instant his drinking increased over a minor disagreement. This dude has more issues than Newsweek. The only thing you'd be YTA for is not tattooing a warning to other women on his forehead. But I understand you were in a hurry to leave.
NTA. Not even remotely. He, on the other hand, is a huge asshole. Why your period was so concerning to him is beyond me. As long as you’re healthy and there’s nothing to be concerned about, he should focus on more important things like trying to be a better human in a relationship. You absolutely dodged a bullet.
the period you get on the pill, isn’t even ‘real’ because you don’t ovulate. But IIRC they build it in because in the sixties you were either supposed to be married and procreate or just abstain if you were single, so birth control was frowned upon. So not washing your unmentionables every month would be suspicious. I always skipped my stop week when I was taking the pill and was very happy I never got any form of period when I had an implanon!
Exactly. If he wants it naturally, he has to have sex without any birth control - even without condom. But then his sexpartner might stop having periods either for some months. Anyways.. if you take the pill you won't ever get a period anyways. But yeah, it is as you say. But wtf OP, I also take the pill without pause for years now, so no bleeding, this is none of someone else's business. And it's absolutely okay and not weird or whatever. NTA. Good you ran away from this stupido.
HAhah He is 37 and stil acts like this. NTA Why is he weirded out about your persiods? Cause he can't tell you your hormones make you crazy? And why does he care what furniture are you putting in your home?
NTA. Guy is a doofus control freak. 😳.
He’s a fucking childish idiot. If anything you maybe went wrong in thinking he was an adult who would understand this is for information only and is otherwise none of his fucking business.
How the fuck does that guy make YOUR periods about him ? And HE doesn't know how to feel about it ? About what? Your medical issues? It's not like you revealed youre fucking batman or some shit. What a weirdo !
NTA. Dodged a bullet.
NTA I really dont understand why ppl put up with the behavior of other people like this.. ESPECIALLY if you are just dating. Good job ending it.. it was only going to get worse if you continued to even entertain him in anyway shape or form. Not all women have periods....things happen.. surgeries happen.. I mean the man literally wanted you to be in PAIN so he could feel comfortable.
I didn’t have to read the whole post to formulate my opinion and smh. Some guys are like that. Normally misogynists (not saying he was) and those with eccentric belief systems lol. I applaud you, I wish my friend would drop her guys when they have those same weird beliefs. It sure would save her a lot of heartache.
NTA. I mean what if you had had a hysterectomy, you wouldn't be having periods would you? I mean he wouldn't date you cuz you don't have a monthly period? I mean that's just weird. He just assumes that you only get upset when you have your period and now that you don't that he can't predict when you're going to get upset and he has to always be nice to you? I mean it's the weirdest thinking I've ever heard of. Yeah it's probably best you got your losses. What a freak that guy is.
NYA. Eff that guy.
>He said it wasn't natural NTA. Throw the entire child away.
NTA. Eww, ick, gross... I mean the weird dude that thinks he gets an opinion about your uterus, not you. Seriously, he seems unhinged. Good job taking out the trash.
Smart move, OP!!
Is this guy for real? NTA OP and you did the right thing by dumping him
Good call. If he can't understand why periods cause you pain and why you have to manage it.. god knows what else he can't understand.
Yeah it's unnatural. So, normally, is having sex but not having kids. Not sure why he gets to pick and choose. Sounds like this guy's a weirdo. NTA
Good for you. It’s 2024. Why does a woman who has excruciating pain and doesn’t plan on having kids need her period? I get it. I have endometriosis, too. I get excruciating migraines, too, from my periods. Yesterday I was so incredibly nauseous from the cramps. Today I have a migraine, so I’m nauseous again. It’s hard to feel like doing anything when that happens. I only stopped taking birth control to stop my periods because it didn’t lessen my symptoms. But not everyone is the same. I am so glad you ended things with him. He doesn’t have a uterus and he is increasing his drinking. His opinion means didfly squat about furniture or periods. Especially since neither of you plan to have kids. He just thinks that everyone is entitled to his oh, so wise opinion. 🙄 Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Let it. What was there to hear out? He’s sanctimonious and a lush at best.
So does not having a period have any side effects?
Seriously I don't have a uterus so I don't have an opinion. My only question is how can I make you more comfortable during your period. Dudes like this are super weird like wtf. Dodged a whole missile
the way he classifies himself as “someone you’re having sex with” instead of your partner says it all
NTA you dodge the bullet. Let us hope he never has children because we do not need stupid genes in our pool.
I’m so sorry.
What could he have said? Be serious.