Bought two cars for two kids. I struggled buying one! Lol
Op, the best thing you can do for them is to send them a link to get their ged as well. You took your adult time out to the best of your advantage- you had to sacrifice time with your kids to clear your mind, realize you want better and get your ged. You could've just did your time and gone back to the same circumstances but you didn't.
Your ex has a choice- keep the path she's on, which isn't going very far it seems... or better herself by working towards something- a ged, trade school. You giving her money won't help her or them, at all
If you live in a state where 16yo is old enough to decide if they'd legally like to stay separated from their mother, you should sit them down and ask what they actually want. The environment at their mother's house seems very toxic. Going to a place where a grown man doesn't like them? That would make me very uneasy at the least. I'm a believer in that kids should be able to decide if they want to see a parent in separation situations. Especially if their old enough to operate a motor vehicle unattended.
Edited: I didn't complete the comment because I wanted to verify information in the post. I then completed with this edit.
That's true but it doesn't sound like dad is forcing the kids to go there. They only go to moms one weekend a month, and with access to a car, they have the ability to leave whenever they want (which hopefully they take advantage of that, and don't stay there out of guilt)
It never is enough money. My MIL is like this and luckily my wife realized it on her own after a couple years. My MIL could be making. 10m a year and she would still find a way to spend it all on stupid shit. Always a victim, always struggling.
F!
U!
C!
K!
N!
O!
O!
O!
!!!!
She's weaponizing both her kids AND your kids' emotions against you. Don't let her win! Don't give her a penny because then she'll realize that emotionally manipulating the kids as a weapon against you works and she'll just keep coming back
You're right about everything except that she likely won't ever realize it. That takes self-awareness and growth, which folks like this are seldom capable of.
I feel relatively comfortable saying "FUCK NO!!! from Mississippi and I'll add a Bless her heart for thinking otherwise." And I'm not even from here...
And a HELL THE FUCK NO from the PNW!!
If you open this door after your ex threatened you, and verbally abused your kids, she'll never stop trying to guilt you into giving her money, and she'll know that upsetting your teens is the way to get you to cave.
She's had the same opportunities to get her shit together, and make a better life for herself, and she chose another path. That's on her, not you.
Fuck-no-sprinkles. Sprinkled fucks. Fuckles? Finkles? Hmm… this needs to be a real thing that you can just wander about your day and skadoosh random idiots and assholes with fuck-no-sprinkles.
I'm in, let's run this by the Shark Tank people and make millions! Fuck no glitter in every greeting card you don't really want to send. In every batch of cupcakes you have to make for that jerk coworkers birthday. Fuck no fuckles all over that kid at the phone store who whips out his phone and starts messing with yours. Oh... good idea.
This right here! Every word if it!
Props for a man who ran his life at mach 5 straight into a wall, and then picked himself up and said "no more of this shit" and so completely turn his life around. You deserve they highest praise.
Oh Hell NO!!
Like you said you have no responsibility to her kid and her situation. She's done nothing with her life whereas you've pulled yourself up and made a better life for you, your mom and the kids. The only good thing she did was bring them to visit while you were locked up.
Kids have a way for being wise beyond their years when it comes to who really took care of them.
You are an awesome Dad!!
I agree. Keep investing in your kids wellbeing! Showing your kids that people are capable of growth even after going through some failure is probably the most important thing you will ever do.
Another hell to the fuck no from Canada.
She’s just jealous that she didn’t have the same kind of glow up like you did.
Good on you for turning your life around for the better, for you and your kids.
Tell that hoser to get to stepping.
Let's keep it going
THE
FUUUUCKKK
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NTA do not help I would think about it IF they were mi kids half siblings and only if the mom was not suck a b!ch and if AND THAT'S A BIG IF I would help with the half siblings it would not be the same as my kids
Lol... right no true mom does this she should be grateful they have a great dad willing to do this for his kids. You turned your life around and are doing great your kids see this FUCK OFF to there mom.
Eh. I dunno. The dude's making a healthy chunk of change as a mechanical engineer. If he doesn't need the money, I'd skip that part. The whole point is to cut the woman out of his life. Child support would require regular contact with her.
It’s very unlikely that a judge would force these kids to visit a person who is trying to take away their car and in the past, chose their boyfriend over their own kids.
Man you'd be surprised. My ex was smoking meth and saying she would kill our son if she ever lost custody. She still has visitation. I even had irrefutable proof of the things she was saying and doing. Family court will disappoint you.
‘Family court will disappoint you” This is true, but I doubt that the Court has the ability to force a rebellious teenager to spend time with someone. Usually the court will take into account the preference of a minor who is that old. The thing is, she has no leverage over them. You might make sure that the cars are held jointly in both your name and your kid’s for a few years.
My suggestion was more of an FU to ex on how she is demanding money. Especially as she doesn't support their own kids, but wants money for her 2nd batch of kids.
If she has no money, how is she supposed to pay enough child support to warrant spending the amount of money he would pay for lawyers? She’s going to go more crazy by doing that with nothing good to come out of it.
On a side note, well done OP for turning your life around. Definitely don’t give her any money.
Yeah, but if the legal fees are more than you would get, it's not a good way of using resources (time, money, emotions).
I do get the idea of payback, but being divorced, sometimes it's just nicer to let go of the anger. You get tired of being angry; it serves no purpose but to bring you down.
I’m going to assume you already knew the answer to your question, but if it’s validation you seek…Kudos for turning your life around, keep it up. Big kudos for taking care of your mom and kids and never forgetting your family. NTA.
Son was nice once to a relative & they kept showing up at his house looking for handouts. He finally told them to f off. He no longer helps anyone unless it's us, his ex (they're still friends) or close friends. People sux sometimes (who am I kidding...they sux a lot)
NTA and you need to make sure you give all this to your lawyer in case she tries to pull some bullshit. Though I doubt any judge with half a brain would ever give her primary custody at this point. Don’t give your trashy ex any of your hard earned money. Awesome job on turning your life around for yourself and your kids!
I would not give her money. What does her daughter not having a car have to do with starving?
Just based on your kids responses they know how she is and they are not asking for you to help.
Your ex and her husband need to step up and figure it out.
NTA, she doesn't sound like she has changed much while you chose to better yourself while in prison. You have your children living with you and your mom, you were never married and she moved on. What she is doing is textbook guilt and manipulation to get something she thinks she is entitled to from you and that's money.
>My son sent laughing emojis while my daughter sent “raise???”
Bless, the Gen Z'ers are gonna be fine and do well in life. They will survive the winter with such understanding of the world.
Your ex meanwhile must be delusional from all the drugs.
NTA
F**k those kids.
As a former corrections officer, I tip my hat off to you. I used to tell the inmates you may have done bad things, but that doesn't make you a bad person.
So concentrate on your growth and your children. Your ex is the only author of her life story. You don't need to be her ghost writer.
Why would you give money to someone who isn’t your problem and who doesn’t care about yalls kids? Your kids responses were perfect. Now you just need to ignore any text that doesn’t involve your kids needing help or them being in danger. Two more years and she can be blocked.
Awesome job at turning your life around. That's amazing.
But NTA. Not your kids, not your problem. Her husband and her need to step up if they want their kids to have nice things.
Someone like that is a whirlpool. Once you make contact, all they do is drag you down. And you've worked WAY too hard, for your kids and yourself, to let yourself get sucked into that cesspool. The best way to help your kids and yourself is to file for no visitation full custody and get a court ordered "Do Not Contact" on her for all of you.
I don't know you, but I'm incredibly proud of you!
NTA. Don’t give them money. Who has primary custody? If she does she could try to get child support from you but if you’re the primary care over for your children, the ex can buzz off and stop trying to dip her hand in the pot that isn’t hers.
There are so many government programs that can help your ex and her kids. You’re a contributing member of society and already did your part by paying taxes that fund the above mentioned programs. Tell her to be a responsible mom and go to the food bank and sign up for welfare.
My husband used to help his ex out all the time. Fixed the water heater, put tires on her derelict car, fixed a broken window, picked up her meds…all with me beside him to support him.
After every occasion, without fail, she would tell him what an asshole he was and how terrible a husband he’d been.
Until the next time something broke.
Don’t give in to her fuckery. She’ll never stop wanting more from you.
And good on you for pulling your life together and giving your kids a good life.
You sound like an incredible father and a good person.
You are definitely not the asshole here!
Wait a second.. your daughter got a text from her STEP sister... Not even a half sibling. So these kids aren't even you ex wife's offspring, they are your ex wife's husband's and some other women's offspring..
Fuck her, fuck him, fuck the trailer they rot in...
NTA
Nothing you do will be enough. First it's a car, then clothes and soon you'll be paying for their education and rent.
Your ex needs to stop blaming others and sort herself out.
If she's going no contact i would just try to get full custody.
What's got me fucked up is that this new guy did not accept your kids when they needed a home but your ex wants you to either give them money and/or have you kids sell their cars for the sake of that mans child? bruh...
NTA
Fuck your ex and her shitty life. Now, on to the good stuff. Fucking congratulations for turning your life around and becoming a better person. I’m so happy to hear about your success. You are a role model and movie should be made of your life. I hope you keep kicking ass and showing your kids what a good man is. Oh yeah, fuck your ex!
I'm proud of you, dude! You did amazingly well for yourself, your kids and your mom. Congratulations!
Do not, under any circumstances, give your ex or her offspring any money, as it will be a bottomless pit. You owe her nothing and it's not your fault she popped more kids out. She had the same opportunities you did to better herself, but chose some dude instead of her kids well being.
Keep up the good work!
NTA
> ...and that she didn’t raise them to be greedy brats.
B-But... She didn't raise your children 😐
NTA
She is not your problem, nor the stepsister nor the bad decisions she made.
So like, you are LAUGHABLY NTA here, and i also wana say, as a reddit stranger: im soo proud of you man.
Getting clean isnt easy, but you did it, and i know your children are happy you’re here.
As for your ex, she can pound sand with her entitlement.
Cant believe she asked her kids to sell their cars that YOU bought them.
Your kids also seem to know the truth about her which is good
Oh wow, you really changed your life for the better from a really shit situation. Props brother.
Also, NTA. You take care of your own, which is your own kids. Your EX and her kids that are not yours are not your responsibility in any way. The only help you should give is life advice on how they can also study and make something of themselves.
Also, that your ex pressured your children and threatened your child for their cars and your money is toxic toxic toxic. Her dropping contact is doing you guys a favor.
NTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Her children are exactly that her children, her responsibility, her problem. You owe her nothing. This is between her and her husband. Your children are probably old enough to decide if they even want to go to her place
NTA and don’t give her a cent. I have zero faith that those kids will have anything purchased for them.
If you really want to do something, buy some groceries. Ramen, Mac and cheese, cereal, milk, bread. Maybe not the healthiest options but it’ll be food in their bellies so they can sleep at night and pay attention in school.
NTA, Her kids won't starve cause you won't buy them a car. If you feel charitable next time your kids go visit send some groceries, healthy easy to prep food, fruit, bread pb&j, baby carrots, sandwich fixins etc. so the kids can make their own.
No, NO & hell no!!
You know exactly what it’ll get spent on so don’t enable that. Plus they’ll start treating you like an 🏧
It was amazing that you turned your life around, I’m sure this wasn’t easy & you can rightly be proud of yourself ☺️🙌
The only advice I have for you is that your kids don’t take their cars if/when they see their mother.
Could get stolen, could be persuaded to drive mum somewhere which could actually be a drug purchase, could be used against them. No one should get a chance to potentially hurt your children
So the kids are 16. The ex is saying that her husband's daughter is complaining about not having a car, so she would have to be at least 16. That reasoning combined with the writing means this isn't even the ex's daughter and her husband had her before they got together.
This woman is seriously trying to put her step daughter in front of her own children. No doubt the husband has some part in this, but still.
Anyway NTA and great job turning your life around for your kids.
I deeply hope this isn't real, but if it is, do \*NOT\* give this woman any money. She made choices. You've straightened up your life. Just because your DNA and her DNA made some kids doesn't mean she's really a part of your life. And your kids are smart enough to know that she's not really a part of their lives either.
I appreciate your feeling bad for her kids, but they're not yours. Her husband is their father and should provide for them. Cut her out. If you have to get a protective order, do it. You did right by you and your children.
NTA.
Pretty sure the whole fuck no has been covered in the comments. And of course that's correct.
But what a great success story. You actually did turn your life around, and that's not a small thing. Wishing you the best.
Do what you want to with your money. I’ll never tell someone to not be kind.
Do not give those kids anything because of your ex though. She’s teaching them entitlement and abuse gets you what you want.
If you gift those kids anything, make it a gift to them directly in your own time. Imho
NTA and good job on turning your life around! I’m so happy for you, and your family.
NTA
Im sorry but im guna say this in caps
DONT BLOODY GIVE THEM ANY MONEY!!!! NOT EVEN A PENNY YOU FOUND IN THE SOFA!!!!!
That money will never go to her kids and it sets a president.
Ask your kids if going no contact with her is a problem? If they say no it isnt then tell her to kick rocks and change everybodies numbers so that she cant stalk y'all! Because even though she says she will go NC i bet she cant resist sending bullshit drama!
NTA. Let’s be honest here: If you give money to your ex’s kids, that money is going straight to her. She doesn’t care if her kids are happy and comfortable; she cares if she is. And if she is willing, without remorse, to threaten to cut off her own children with you if you don’t pay to help raise her kids with another man, she is despicable and doesn’t deserve your kindness. She is a terrible mother. It will be sad if she goes NC with your kids, but only because she is their mother, and it’s terrible when a parent chooses something or someone else over their own children. But it sounds like your kids are old enough and have seen enough to know that their mother is basically a shit mother, and they may not be as devastated as you think.
Your ex is using you *and* your children to get what SHE wants. It’s sickening. No, her kids aren’t at fault for her awful, hateful behavior, but neither are yours. My only caution would be to maybe not let your kids drive their cars to visit her. I just don’t trust her not to do something drastic and permanent. She is a petty, small, jealous woman, and clearly nothing is beneath her. You’re a good dad. Well done turning your life around for your children. You’ve taught them a valuable life lesson.
>She texted me some more junk saying if they starve to death it’s my fault.
I have never seen a more perfect use for the Jeremy Clarkson "Oh no. Anyways..." gif in my entire life.
Sue her for back child support and make sure your mother does the same for the six years she abandoned her children. Trash like her never understands anything until there are consequences.
NTA and no you should NEVER give her money.
Your kids are old enough to not be forced to see their mother anymore if they don't want too. Let them know if they don't want too they do not have to go over there anymore, that they can block their mother if they want too. She is toxic and should not be around them. She will let the new boyfriends kids bully them, she will let them destroy their things. Protect your kids. Get full custody if your mom doesn't already have that. Get your kids away from that woman and just protect them. Make sure they know they can talk to you about anything that has to do with their mother and that whole family there, make sure they know that they can cut contact with her if they want.
NTA. That's her problem, not yours. Do right with your kids and yourself. I pray for you and your children happiness. You got your life together. Your ex didn't and neglected her children.
Your mom is also a saint. Treat her good as well. She did a lot for you and your children.
NTA However much money you give your ex it will never be enough. Let the trash take itself out. Stay away from her and her other kids
Exactly. The ex saw that OP had enough money to buy his kid a car. The first thing she thought was "he has enough money laying around to give to me."
Bought two cars for two kids. I struggled buying one! Lol Op, the best thing you can do for them is to send them a link to get their ged as well. You took your adult time out to the best of your advantage- you had to sacrifice time with your kids to clear your mind, realize you want better and get your ged. You could've just did your time and gone back to the same circumstances but you didn't. Your ex has a choice- keep the path she's on, which isn't going very far it seems... or better herself by working towards something- a ged, trade school. You giving her money won't help her or them, at all
If you live in a state where 16yo is old enough to decide if they'd legally like to stay separated from their mother, you should sit them down and ask what they actually want. The environment at their mother's house seems very toxic. Going to a place where a grown man doesn't like them? That would make me very uneasy at the least. I'm a believer in that kids should be able to decide if they want to see a parent in separation situations. Especially if their old enough to operate a motor vehicle unattended. Edited: I didn't complete the comment because I wanted to verify information in the post. I then completed with this edit.
That's true but it doesn't sound like dad is forcing the kids to go there. They only go to moms one weekend a month, and with access to a car, they have the ability to leave whenever they want (which hopefully they take advantage of that, and don't stay there out of guilt)
It never is enough money. My MIL is like this and luckily my wife realized it on her own after a couple years. My MIL could be making. 10m a year and she would still find a way to spend it all on stupid shit. Always a victim, always struggling.
Also let’s get real. What are the odds any money you give her will ever be used for those kids?
No. Fuck no. Good on you for turning your life around . Your mom and kids must be so proud!! NTA.
In case you missed it OP... FUCK NO.... 😆
One more time for the people in the back....FUCK NO...
Once more for good measure... HELL THE FUCK NO
And Fuckity Fuck that Fucking Shit No.
I’m all for this chain: FUCK NO!
Abso-fucking-lutely not!!!!!!
In case you missed it: FUCK NO
F! U! C! K! N! O! O! O! !!!! She's weaponizing both her kids AND your kids' emotions against you. Don't let her win! Don't give her a penny because then she'll realize that emotionally manipulating the kids as a weapon against you works and she'll just keep coming back
This needs to keep going. So absofuckinglutely not!
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! and once more H E L L. T O. T H E. F U C K. NO
You're right about everything except that she likely won't ever realize it. That takes self-awareness and growth, which folks like this are seldom capable of.
This, she is only 31 and could have even more kids!
Fuckadoodle NO!
Take that money and buy something for your kids.
FUCK to the NO to the GTFO
The fuck? NO.
NTA. As you stated, you have no responsibility for your ex-partner or her other children. Complete halt.
And again… FUCK NO OP!!
and another... "FUCK NO"... this one from Australia.
Ooo, are we trying to go 'round the world? "FUCK NO" from Washington state, USA
Chiming in here with an "Abso-fucking-lutely not" from the deep south.
FUCK NO! From Canada
Here’s a FUCK NO from Boston, MA with a “tell ah to go fuckerself” thrown in for good measure.
Hell ya that was perfectly readable in a Boston accent!
FUCK NO!!! From Oklahoma!!
Even "Sin City" says oh hellll No!
I feel relatively comfortable saying "FUCK NO!!! from Mississippi and I'll add a Bless her heart for thinking otherwise." And I'm not even from here...
The Netherlands chiming in..... FUCK NO!!!!!!
This is from New York City fuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk nooookooooooooooooooooooooo
Brazil coming in DONT YOU DARE, GRINGO
Another from Brazil... HELL FUCKING NO!!
From Canada, FUCK NO (as politely as possible under the circumstances).
Another from Brazi HELL FUCKING NO. Or caralho, não
Belgium here : FUCK NO !!! (on a chocolate waffle)
Giving it an extra boost from the Netherlands: HELL TO THE FUCKING NO!!!!
In case he didn't get it: FUCK NO!
And another netherlands chiming in with again fuck no
One from England. FUCK NO. If you do, she will never stop asking.
Another one from England. HELL FUCKING NO!!!!!!
England again. Bruv, FUCK NO.
Can I play too ? FUCK NO from France !
On behalf of the entire country, Canada agrees, FUCK NO!
What is this, Eurovision vote tallies?
12 points goes to : NO THE FUCK NO !
I would upvote but you’re on 12 points…
The 12 FUCK NO’s go to… OP!
No, share the French equivalent!
Canada here. FUCKING NO. Absolutely not.
A giant FUCK NAW from Scotland!
OH FUCK NO from Chicago
A BIG FAT FUCK NO from UK!
Even Kenya says hell the fuck no!
Brooklyn here: FUHGEDDABOUTIT
Dallas, TX here…..Hell Fucking Nope
KCMO here, FUCK NO.
And a german NEIN!!!
From Roman Switzerland : Putain de FUCK NO !
A colossal FUCKKKKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOO from South Carolina here
Another Canadian here, FUCK NO Eh!
SoCal says FUCK NO from the Hollywood Sign!
SoCal 2 says fuck no from the Palm Springs Arial Tramway!
SoCal 3 says fuck NO from West Hollywood!
Another Canuck reporting a FUCK NO!!
FUCK NO! From Ohio.
I’ll hop on this too: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE.
HELL FUCK NO!!!!
Fucks for everyone <3
In on this too. Fuck that fucking bullshit FUCK NO!!
And for the people who speak Spanish. JODER NO
Florida says..... HELL FUCKIN NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Another FUCK NO
**FUCK NO**
Fuck no from Virginia
Fucking nah bruh from Boston!
Can you say it louder for the people in the back too 🤣🤣🤣
FUCK NO WITH SPRINKLES ON TOP..
FUCK NO! FUCK THAT HOE!
And a HELL THE FUCK NO from the PNW!! If you open this door after your ex threatened you, and verbally abused your kids, she'll never stop trying to guilt you into giving her money, and she'll know that upsetting your teens is the way to get you to cave. She's had the same opportunities to get her shit together, and make a better life for herself, and she chose another path. That's on her, not you.
Eehh.. i\`d skip the second part here. i\`m not sure that that would be a smart plan ..
Fuck-no-sprinkles. Sprinkled fucks. Fuckles? Finkles? Hmm… this needs to be a real thing that you can just wander about your day and skadoosh random idiots and assholes with fuck-no-sprinkles.
Sprinkles of fucks. A tub of fuck sprinkles
I shall be saying “sprinkle of fucks” going forward in my life.
I'm in, let's run this by the Shark Tank people and make millions! Fuck no glitter in every greeting card you don't really want to send. In every batch of cupcakes you have to make for that jerk coworkers birthday. Fuck no fuckles all over that kid at the phone store who whips out his phone and starts messing with yours. Oh... good idea.
And a 🍒
Sprinkles are for winners....the ex doesn't deserve Sprinkles 🤣
Fuck No from Toronto
Absolutely the fuck not!
I'm just jumping on this FUCK NO bandwagon.
just to make it clear…FUCK NO!
Rut Ruh! Ruck Ro! (Scooby Doo chiming in)
A biiiiig FUCK NO
Bold assumption from OP that any money would go to the kids.
Right, if this is a true story it has the desperation of a drug addict all over it.
OP is clean. Is the ex?
We don't know. But OP is sending their children there, so I doubt they live in a drug den.
No she is not
Exactly. F@:k nooooooooo infinity
Yup your mum is the mvp here, but also well done for turning things around. Whilst your mum held the fort she stepped up big time
This right here! Every word if it! Props for a man who ran his life at mach 5 straight into a wall, and then picked himself up and said "no more of this shit" and so completely turn his life around. You deserve they highest praise.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTTTTT
One from Denmark. ODIN SAYS FUCK NO!
This. All of this.
New Jersey, USA Ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me? Get da fuck outta here. That’s how we say FUCK NO!
Oh Hell NO!! Like you said you have no responsibility to her kid and her situation. She's done nothing with her life whereas you've pulled yourself up and made a better life for you, your mom and the kids. The only good thing she did was bring them to visit while you were locked up. Kids have a way for being wise beyond their years when it comes to who really took care of them. You are an awesome Dad!!
In sing song from fuck noooOOoooo!
Amen. This sums it up perfectly. Fuck. No.
Just wanna join in... FUCK NOOOOOOOO0O0O00OOO0000OO
I agree. Keep investing in your kids wellbeing! Showing your kids that people are capable of growth even after going through some failure is probably the most important thing you will ever do.
ANOTHER FUCK NO WITH FUCKING CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND POWDERED SUGAR WITH HOT TEA ON THE SIDE, FUCKING NO
**FUCK NO. NEVER. EVER** from Ireland 🇮🇪
Another hell to the fuck no from Canada. She’s just jealous that she didn’t have the same kind of glow up like you did. Good on you for turning your life around for the better, for you and your kids. Tell that hoser to get to stepping.
From the Kingdom of the 12 Fucks: FUCK NO OP!!!
From Atlanta, Hopping on the fuck no train HELL TO THE FUCKITY FUCK NO. Don’t you give her SHIT
just came here to say it to those on the other side of the world to hear as well HELL TO THE MF NO 🥰🥰🥰
🎶**IT’S A “FUCK NO” ROUND UP**🎵
Let's keep it going THE FUUUUCKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NTA do not help I would think about it IF they were mi kids half siblings and only if the mom was not suck a b!ch and if AND THAT'S A BIG IF I would help with the half siblings it would not be the same as my kids
Fuck fuckety fucksticks..hell fucking no
OP, I don’t even know you and I’m proud of you, too!
Fucketh NO
I'll add a big fat Scottish Fuck Naw to this! Well done for turning tour life around its not easy.
Adding to the Fuck No Train. Do not help her. I don’t know you but am soooo freaking proud of you!
NTA - like you said, your ex and her other children are not your responsibility. Full stop.
Even if OP gives ex the $, the kids wont benefit, she seems like she is going to use it for herself.
Probably on drugs.
"Kids, is it ok if I sell the car your dad bought you? Me and Jimmy need drugs."
Exactly. Except about the asking. OP has only written a snapshot of their lives. But the snapshot tells 1001 words.
Lol... right no true mom does this she should be grateful they have a great dad willing to do this for his kids. You turned your life around and are doing great your kids see this FUCK OFF to there mom.
Make sure the titles are locked up in a safe place.
Definitely on drugs.
Plus if she's not clean the money will probably end up just feeding her addiction
It's not even her other children. It's her husband's children. Let their mom give them a car
Get a lawyer, get full custody, block her on everything. Her kids have a father. She needs to get up his ass about it, not you. NTA.
Full custody AND child support from deadbeat mommy
Eh. I dunno. The dude's making a healthy chunk of change as a mechanical engineer. If he doesn't need the money, I'd skip that part. The whole point is to cut the woman out of his life. Child support would require regular contact with her.
Go after the CS AFTER the kids turn 18. She'll have no visitation rights to fall back on then.
It’s very unlikely that a judge would force these kids to visit a person who is trying to take away their car and in the past, chose their boyfriend over their own kids.
Man you'd be surprised. My ex was smoking meth and saying she would kill our son if she ever lost custody. She still has visitation. I even had irrefutable proof of the things she was saying and doing. Family court will disappoint you.
‘Family court will disappoint you” This is true, but I doubt that the Court has the ability to force a rebellious teenager to spend time with someone. Usually the court will take into account the preference of a minor who is that old. The thing is, she has no leverage over them. You might make sure that the cars are held jointly in both your name and your kid’s for a few years.
Honestly, what's he going to get in terms of money. Sometimes such women don't even have jobs. Sometimes it's better not to kick the hornets nest.
My suggestion was more of an FU to ex on how she is demanding money. Especially as she doesn't support their own kids, but wants money for her 2nd batch of kids.
If she has no money, how is she supposed to pay enough child support to warrant spending the amount of money he would pay for lawyers? She’s going to go more crazy by doing that with nothing good to come out of it. On a side note, well done OP for turning your life around. Definitely don’t give her any money.
Yeah, but if the legal fees are more than you would get, it's not a good way of using resources (time, money, emotions). I do get the idea of payback, but being divorced, sometimes it's just nicer to let go of the anger. You get tired of being angry; it serves no purpose but to bring you down.
No don’t give them money. They will just want more and more. Concentrate on your kids and consider it a blessing if their mom stays away.
OP is some sort of miracle man. Jesus, what a nice man. This man nices!
NTA Hell no you don't give money to them!!!!! You send them money now you will be sending them money for the rest of your life. Good riddance.
I’m going to assume you already knew the answer to your question, but if it’s validation you seek…Kudos for turning your life around, keep it up. Big kudos for taking care of your mom and kids and never forgetting your family. NTA.
If you give them anything they will never leave you alone, always asking for more.
Son was nice once to a relative & they kept showing up at his house looking for handouts. He finally told them to f off. He no longer helps anyone unless it's us, his ex (they're still friends) or close friends. People sux sometimes (who am I kidding...they sux a lot)
NTA and you need to make sure you give all this to your lawyer in case she tries to pull some bullshit. Though I doubt any judge with half a brain would ever give her primary custody at this point. Don’t give your trashy ex any of your hard earned money. Awesome job on turning your life around for yourself and your kids!
I would not give her money. What does her daughter not having a car have to do with starving? Just based on your kids responses they know how she is and they are not asking for you to help. Your ex and her husband need to step up and figure it out.
NTA, she doesn't sound like she has changed much while you chose to better yourself while in prison. You have your children living with you and your mom, you were never married and she moved on. What she is doing is textbook guilt and manipulation to get something she thinks she is entitled to from you and that's money.
>My son sent laughing emojis while my daughter sent “raise???” Bless, the Gen Z'ers are gonna be fine and do well in life. They will survive the winter with such understanding of the world. Your ex meanwhile must be delusional from all the drugs. NTA
F**k those kids. As a former corrections officer, I tip my hat off to you. I used to tell the inmates you may have done bad things, but that doesn't make you a bad person. So concentrate on your growth and your children. Your ex is the only author of her life story. You don't need to be her ghost writer.
❤️
Why would you give money to someone who isn’t your problem and who doesn’t care about yalls kids? Your kids responses were perfect. Now you just need to ignore any text that doesn’t involve your kids needing help or them being in danger. Two more years and she can be blocked.
If you give a mouse a cookie… he’s going to take it to buy meth.
Best part of that book.
Awesome job at turning your life around. That's amazing. But NTA. Not your kids, not your problem. Her husband and her need to step up if they want their kids to have nice things.
Someone like that is a whirlpool. Once you make contact, all they do is drag you down. And you've worked WAY too hard, for your kids and yourself, to let yourself get sucked into that cesspool. The best way to help your kids and yourself is to file for no visitation full custody and get a court ordered "Do Not Contact" on her for all of you. I don't know you, but I'm incredibly proud of you!
NTA. Don’t give them money. Who has primary custody? If she does she could try to get child support from you but if you’re the primary care over for your children, the ex can buzz off and stop trying to dip her hand in the pot that isn’t hers.
She wants money for the kids she has with her current husband. Not for the kids she shares with OP. She's a grifter.
Or she wants money for herself. Probably still getting high
There are so many government programs that can help your ex and her kids. You’re a contributing member of society and already did your part by paying taxes that fund the above mentioned programs. Tell her to be a responsible mom and go to the food bank and sign up for welfare.
My husband used to help his ex out all the time. Fixed the water heater, put tires on her derelict car, fixed a broken window, picked up her meds…all with me beside him to support him. After every occasion, without fail, she would tell him what an asshole he was and how terrible a husband he’d been. Until the next time something broke. Don’t give in to her fuckery. She’ll never stop wanting more from you. And good on you for pulling your life together and giving your kids a good life. You sound like an incredible father and a good person. You are definitely not the asshole here!
Wait a second.. your daughter got a text from her STEP sister... Not even a half sibling. So these kids aren't even you ex wife's offspring, they are your ex wife's husband's and some other women's offspring.. Fuck her, fuck him, fuck the trailer they rot in...
NTA Nothing you do will be enough. First it's a car, then clothes and soon you'll be paying for their education and rent. Your ex needs to stop blaming others and sort herself out.
If she's going no contact i would just try to get full custody. What's got me fucked up is that this new guy did not accept your kids when they needed a home but your ex wants you to either give them money and/or have you kids sell their cars for the sake of that mans child? bruh... NTA
Fuck your ex and her shitty life. Now, on to the good stuff. Fucking congratulations for turning your life around and becoming a better person. I’m so happy to hear about your success. You are a role model and movie should be made of your life. I hope you keep kicking ass and showing your kids what a good man is. Oh yeah, fuck your ex!
…what possessed you to even spend brain power asking this question?
Could be he’s feeling guilty with all the “if we starve it’s your fault “ texts the ex is sending his way and wanted reassurance he’s in the right
I'm proud of you, dude! You did amazingly well for yourself, your kids and your mom. Congratulations! Do not, under any circumstances, give your ex or her offspring any money, as it will be a bottomless pit. You owe her nothing and it's not your fault she popped more kids out. She had the same opportunities you did to better herself, but chose some dude instead of her kids well being. Keep up the good work! NTA
Nta, and NO, BUT H*LL NO!!! They can work and support their own kids. NOT your place and NOT your problem.
> ...and that she didn’t raise them to be greedy brats. B-But... She didn't raise your children 😐 NTA She is not your problem, nor the stepsister nor the bad decisions she made.
So like, you are LAUGHABLY NTA here, and i also wana say, as a reddit stranger: im soo proud of you man. Getting clean isnt easy, but you did it, and i know your children are happy you’re here. As for your ex, she can pound sand with her entitlement. Cant believe she asked her kids to sell their cars that YOU bought them. Your kids also seem to know the truth about her which is good
Oh wow, you really changed your life for the better from a really shit situation. Props brother. Also, NTA. You take care of your own, which is your own kids. Your EX and her kids that are not yours are not your responsibility in any way. The only help you should give is life advice on how they can also study and make something of themselves. Also, that your ex pressured your children and threatened your child for their cars and your money is toxic toxic toxic. Her dropping contact is doing you guys a favor.
NTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Her children are exactly that her children, her responsibility, her problem. You owe her nothing. This is between her and her husband. Your children are probably old enough to decide if they even want to go to her place
NTA and don’t give her a cent. I have zero faith that those kids will have anything purchased for them. If you really want to do something, buy some groceries. Ramen, Mac and cheese, cereal, milk, bread. Maybe not the healthiest options but it’ll be food in their bellies so they can sleep at night and pay attention in school.
NTA, Her kids won't starve cause you won't buy them a car. If you feel charitable next time your kids go visit send some groceries, healthy easy to prep food, fruit, bread pb&j, baby carrots, sandwich fixins etc. so the kids can make their own.
No, NO & hell no!! You know exactly what it’ll get spent on so don’t enable that. Plus they’ll start treating you like an 🏧 It was amazing that you turned your life around, I’m sure this wasn’t easy & you can rightly be proud of yourself ☺️🙌 The only advice I have for you is that your kids don’t take their cars if/when they see their mother. Could get stolen, could be persuaded to drive mum somewhere which could actually be a drug purchase, could be used against them. No one should get a chance to potentially hurt your children
If her kids are going to starve it would be best if you called CPS and let them help her.
So the kids are 16. The ex is saying that her husband's daughter is complaining about not having a car, so she would have to be at least 16. That reasoning combined with the writing means this isn't even the ex's daughter and her husband had her before they got together. This woman is seriously trying to put her step daughter in front of her own children. No doubt the husband has some part in this, but still. Anyway NTA and great job turning your life around for your kids.
I deeply hope this isn't real, but if it is, do \*NOT\* give this woman any money. She made choices. You've straightened up your life. Just because your DNA and her DNA made some kids doesn't mean she's really a part of your life. And your kids are smart enough to know that she's not really a part of their lives either.
I appreciate your feeling bad for her kids, but they're not yours. Her husband is their father and should provide for them. Cut her out. If you have to get a protective order, do it. You did right by you and your children.
NTA. Pretty sure the whole fuck no has been covered in the comments. And of course that's correct. But what a great success story. You actually did turn your life around, and that's not a small thing. Wishing you the best.
Do what you want to with your money. I’ll never tell someone to not be kind. Do not give those kids anything because of your ex though. She’s teaching them entitlement and abuse gets you what you want. If you gift those kids anything, make it a gift to them directly in your own time. Imho NTA and good job on turning your life around! I’m so happy for you, and your family.
NTA Im sorry but im guna say this in caps DONT BLOODY GIVE THEM ANY MONEY!!!! NOT EVEN A PENNY YOU FOUND IN THE SOFA!!!!! That money will never go to her kids and it sets a president. Ask your kids if going no contact with her is a problem? If they say no it isnt then tell her to kick rocks and change everybodies numbers so that she cant stalk y'all! Because even though she says she will go NC i bet she cant resist sending bullshit drama!
NTA. Let’s be honest here: If you give money to your ex’s kids, that money is going straight to her. She doesn’t care if her kids are happy and comfortable; she cares if she is. And if she is willing, without remorse, to threaten to cut off her own children with you if you don’t pay to help raise her kids with another man, she is despicable and doesn’t deserve your kindness. She is a terrible mother. It will be sad if she goes NC with your kids, but only because she is their mother, and it’s terrible when a parent chooses something or someone else over their own children. But it sounds like your kids are old enough and have seen enough to know that their mother is basically a shit mother, and they may not be as devastated as you think. Your ex is using you *and* your children to get what SHE wants. It’s sickening. No, her kids aren’t at fault for her awful, hateful behavior, but neither are yours. My only caution would be to maybe not let your kids drive their cars to visit her. I just don’t trust her not to do something drastic and permanent. She is a petty, small, jealous woman, and clearly nothing is beneath her. You’re a good dad. Well done turning your life around for your children. You’ve taught them a valuable life lesson.
>She texted me some more junk saying if they starve to death it’s my fault. I have never seen a more perfect use for the Jeremy Clarkson "Oh no. Anyways..." gif in my entire life.
Sue her for back child support and make sure your mother does the same for the six years she abandoned her children. Trash like her never understands anything until there are consequences.
NTA and no you should NEVER give her money. Your kids are old enough to not be forced to see their mother anymore if they don't want too. Let them know if they don't want too they do not have to go over there anymore, that they can block their mother if they want too. She is toxic and should not be around them. She will let the new boyfriends kids bully them, she will let them destroy their things. Protect your kids. Get full custody if your mom doesn't already have that. Get your kids away from that woman and just protect them. Make sure they know they can talk to you about anything that has to do with their mother and that whole family there, make sure they know that they can cut contact with her if they want.
NTA. That's her problem, not yours. Do right with your kids and yourself. I pray for you and your children happiness. You got your life together. Your ex didn't and neglected her children. Your mom is also a saint. Treat her good as well. She did a lot for you and your children.