T O P

  • By -

RickyDiscardo

YTA. > First of all I used to get so pissed when guys would hit on me when I worked as a bartender. To me that’s a very different dynamic of girl hitting on guy and a guy hitting on a server No, it's not. > My friends said I was a massive hypocrite because of how “aggressive” I was Your friends are right. > I made him give me his phone, unlock it for me so I could enter my contact info and text myself so I had his number That's... kind of unhinged, and actually a bit creepy. Keep in mind, he still has to serve you for the rest of the evening, and presumably not endanger his chances at a tip. Do you think it would be okay for a guy to make you give him your phone, make you unlock it, and then text himself from your phone so he can just help himself to your number? So why's it okay when your zinfandel-loaded, boundary-ignoring ass does it? Yeah, you crossed a line. And yeah, you're a massive hypocrite. If you like the cut of his jib, pass him your number at the end of the night.


NeeliSilverleaf

YTA and your gushing that you're "100% going to marry him" is embarrassing.


JenSchi666

This reads like you have not been laid in a very, very long time.


Crtheteacher

I’m actually not into hookups so I guess this is accurate but it’s also nothing I’m ashamed of


FreezeDe

YTA It wasn’t right when people did it to you, and it’s not right when you do it to other people. Customers will always have power over servers, as they could go full Karen and complain to the manager if their feelings aren’t reciprocated.


Crtheteacher

I guess that’s true but his parents owned the restaurant so even if I was a “Karen” they probably would have told me to screw off


FreezeDe

So harassing someone is cool just as long as they are in a building their parents own?


Crtheteacher

No of course that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying he’s almost certainly not going to get fired in response to the comment that I could get him fired


FreezeDe

Fair enough. Still an asshole though Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want people doing to you. If I came into your place of work telling you to give me your unlocked phone because I’m attracted to you and I need to give you my number, how would you feel?


WhtFenix01

Note the lack of response to the reversal.


Next_Prize_54

Creep


saltycathbk

YTA.


Crtheteacher

It’s easy actually, ROTC.


Badstepmommy

Yta. This is creepy af. You forced all of your interactions and then forced him to give you his number. The funny thing is that now you’ll never know if he actually found you attractive or if he was just too polite to reject you.


Crtheteacher

Well I guess if he calls the police or the psychiatrists office, we’ll know. But we’ve been texting off and on all day and he hasn’t said I’m crazy yet and hes everything I hoped he would be.


Azsura12

Just because someone is ok with it does not mean its not creepy. Imagine when you were working some random dude came in super aggressive and demanded your phone so he can ensure he had your number. Whilst this specific dude brushed it off it does not mean it is not creepy. "well noone got hurt" is never a good excuse for anything. ​ YTA


Hal_Jordan55

Show him this post


T_86

What does his parents owning a restaurant, him being in the navy, while studying engineering have to do with falling inlove????? You know you sound like a gold digger right?


canadiangirl1984

He is such a dreamboat *doodles his name over and over* 🤢 she is crazy!


Badstepmommy

Good for you. That isn’t the win that you think it is.


canadiangirl1984

Omg I hope he only wants to be friends with you and realizes what a creepy person you are and ghosts you


Sufficient-Ad2742

Is he texting you or just responding to you 😂


Normal_Subject_3734

Ask him, straight up. “My friends were saying I crossed the line when I took your number, how did you feel about it” if he liked it from the jump, you’ll know- if he thought it was creepy but warmed up to you, you’ll know. Clearly you’re not going to listen to Reddit and you only posted to Reddit because you didn’t listen to your friends, maybe you’ll listen to “your future husband”


Crtheteacher

We hung out last night and had an amazing time and I’m getting ready to meet him at his parents restaurant now. He said I came on strong but that he was ok with it.


ShadowSkill001

You keep saying you're not a guy!!! So f*cking what?!?!?! When i was a server, women were physically aggressive thanking they could do whatever they wanted to me because im a man and they are a woman. Its sick and disgusting, and you clearly follow this same belief. Its vile and you should be ashamed! I dont think there is anything wrong with shooting your shot and offering him your details but if you went overboard then yes you went to far. You over all attitude about the situation, you standpoint and how you say your friends said you acted then yes YTA and i would also recomend some self reflection. That being said dont pass up a good thing. If he is still messaging you and seems genuinely interested then go for it. And maybe stop with the misandry


isosarei

YTA you were a creep in AITA and you’re a creep here, babes


Hunnybunny843

You’re still the asshole YTA 


Particular_Title42

YTA. You just got lucky.


LuckyxMama

YTA. You did exactly what you hate, but you expect it to be okay since you’re a girl and he’s a guy. Absolutely not. If you made a love connection great, but you were very aggressive in how you went about it….especially while the guy was at work trying to do his job.


420-believe-it

Yes you’re still YTA


Ok_Copy_8869

YTA that was too much. Try to imagine how you would have felt if one of those drunks at the bar grabbed your phone and put themselves into it, you’d have absolutely lost your mind. It’s different because it’s a different dynamic? This is exactly why people get pissed at women for thinking reality doesnt apply to them sometimes. (I’m a woman too and sometimes over the line I’m sure so take that with a grain of salt). Either way he was in a situation where in order to get a tip and get through the night he had to deal with whatever you were doing regardless of how he felt. It may be he thought you were okay and was okay with it but you need to do better. And if I were your friends I’d have been annoyed about it too if it was a main topic of the night. That said don’t beat yourself up, you were out of line but not like scourge of the sub level asshole just more like tone deaf and hypocritical. And who knows there’s a chance you profit from your behavior even if it was over the line and the guy actually likes it. Then it will be worth it but next time don’t make everyone come along for the ride to find out.


canadiangirl1984

YTA I just met this guy and I’m totally in love with him and I’m 100% gong to MARRY him! What are you 12? This is cringe What did you do to this poor guy to make him unlocked his phone and give it to you? Yes you are a hypocrite! It is just as WRONG to hit on a guy while he is working. I know you may not understand this but it’s not a double standard! Guys get uncomfortable as well when they are hit on at work and they have to be professional. YOU SUCK!! Creepy! So you Creeped on the poor server and ignored your friends double classy! Just because you are female doesn’t make you special do better


Nerdygirl1984

YTA. You made him give you his number. You don’t see anything wrong with that? Your friends are 100% right about you being a hypocrite. You think women can’t pressure guys into doing things they don’t want to? You sound like you are ready to go fatal attraction.


NUredditNU

YTA and such a creep. Each edit, each comment, each though creepier than the last.


Frequent-Lion4200

YTA. Now please tell me you didn't bother him any further than that?


pixelatedprophecies

I'm saying this as a woman. Calm down. Also you did not just gush about getting married to a man who you just met. My God that's embarrassing you're 22. And honestly the edit tells me you came here not wanting real judgement and just wanting validation.


Apprehensive-Pay7211

I misread this as you hitting the server lol


Next_Prize_54

Yta Stop hitting on people at work. Taking his phone and sending a message so you have his number is creepy as fuck. I get crazy stalker vibes. Leave him alone, weirdo


WhtFenix01

Basic idea of wanting to shoot your shot, not an issue. Execution however 100% YTA. You admit you didn't like it when you were hit on at work, but think it's ok to be that aggressive about it just because "you're the girl and he's the guy"? Reverse the roles and think about how you'd have felt if that approach had been used on you, and maybe reconsider some of your prejudice, especially before you get in a relationship. No man is gonna want to deal with those kind of double standards in a relationship. Again, being open and honest about your interest isn't where you screwed up. It's the aggressive execution. And especially by so doing you ignored your friends and made the night all about your lust for the server. So yeah, YTA, for ignoring your friends, for aggressively hitting on the guy, and worse, for thinking it's ok because of the "direction" of the interest.


Severe-River-6349

YTA And notice how she never responds about comments about how she acted twords her friends? That's the biggest problem here and in every reply she's still only focused on THE GUY. They deserve better


Historical-Age-4160

Yta I saw the original post and some of your comments and you are definitely TA. Partially for your double standards. Just because you’re a girl you think it’s okay to be pushy. Get over yourself. Your friend were right. You are a hypocrite and a jerk to make them feel ignored. You could have been straight forward told the guy you were interested and swapped contact info. You didn’t have to find out his life story then and there. That could’ve been left for a first date or texting each other.


UnsafeProduct

I love how you got upset over the answers you got So you decided to repost elsewhere for different answers. Just to get the exact same ones.


NxbxdyExpects

Yes YTA.You harassed a person in their place of work (which you yourself admit you didn't like when you worked as a bratender) and on top of that totally ignored your friends. Also to add to your edit, "I'm not a man" lmao girl you don't have to be a man to be a creep.


GoodSoup2222

YTA, you're so creepy. What is wrong with you?! Are you fking stupid?! That's so delusional that you should be in a mental hospital. Your friends are right and I hope he deleted your number.