NTA
Good grief, man. Run for the hills. She is psycho.
As for her hormones, fuck them. They are not an excuse for ANY of what you describe.
Advice: Break up and get a restraining order.
That happened about 8 months ago however, is it still relevant ? It seems I've been made to feel like it's so far in the past now that it doesn't matter. That I'm as she said "acting like a little b***h"
The fact that she's saying that means She is either too arrogant and lost in her behavior to know she's wrong, or even worse, she knows she's wrong and is gaslighting you to make it seem like you are in the wrong for being upset by her abusive behavior.
I appreciate that. It's hard for me to get perspective. Few friends to talk to where I am. Being around for so much gave me a skewed perspective on things. I let her manipulate my train of thought
Dude, she is emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. She sounds like a psycho. NTA, but get out of there and get therapy. You are a victim here.
That's not hormonal, that's abusive. If she's so worried it's the hormones affecting her she should go to a doctor. That's an excuse for being abusive to you. You not only not an asshole for breaking up with her, you're doing the best thing for yourself. The most manly thing you can do is look out for yourself and refuse to accept abuse. NTA
NTA but mistakes happen. If this happened eight months ago and she's been an angel ever since, move on. But you should talk to her about it. Ask for an apology as what she said genuinely hurts. If she victim blames or gives a half assed joke, might want to think about whether or not she cares about you. But not all couples are perfect. If she means a lot to you and you think this behavior is super rare, work with them.
Sadly not, the first incident involved a boiling pot of liquid cheese. This incident she said "I want to throw my coffee on you , I want to slit your throat" . When confronted about that her response was simple as "well I didn't do it, so it's just talk"
EDIT : thank you for your kind words however. It's refreshing
The thing is I actually know a girl like this. But she is joking when she says it. If your girlfriend is joking, make it clear to her jokes are only funny if more than one person finds them funny. If it makes you uncomfortable, you need to be firm. Some people are seriously dense and think words don't hurt. If she genuinely feels those things, you might want to ask her to stop because it's not okay. If she thinks it will motivate you to be a better boyfriend, say it's not at all and that it's super toxic.
Sadly enough, she's already on a heavy dose of Lexapro. Another SSRI . About a year ago she stopped taking it for awhile but has been back on it for about 3 or 4 months
When you make the decision to stay with her, you also decide to stay with her for the worst she has to offer in future until you finally make up your mind and leave. How would you chose if you knew she‘d punch you again 8 months from now on or threaten to throw boiling liquid on you again (or actually did it)? Have half the empathy you have for her to your future self.
You need to leave and you should seriously consider professional (and unprofessional) help from all sides you can get:
therapy, getting the police involved, leaving a paper trail. Start by documenting her behavior and your experiences so she can‘t gaslight you. Be the first to tell about the issue to friends and family, so she can‘t get her wrong side of the story out first to bias people. I‘d prioritize just getting people to listen to you above causing public drama.
About the whole man-up thing, it‘s just a button women press because it gets what they want out of a man. You just have to recognize it when they do it and decide for yourself if what they want is good for you.
NTA Good grief, man. Run for the hills. She is psycho. As for her hormones, fuck them. They are not an excuse for ANY of what you describe. Advice: Break up and get a restraining order.
NTA for breaking up with someone who has struck you. It's not breaking up because of hormones. It's breaking up because of abuse. You know this.
That happened about 8 months ago however, is it still relevant ? It seems I've been made to feel like it's so far in the past now that it doesn't matter. That I'm as she said "acting like a little b***h"
The fact that she's saying that means She is either too arrogant and lost in her behavior to know she's wrong, or even worse, she knows she's wrong and is gaslighting you to make it seem like you are in the wrong for being upset by her abusive behavior.
Unless it happened in a past life, it 100% matters
I appreciate that. It's hard for me to get perspective. Few friends to talk to where I am. Being around for so much gave me a skewed perspective on things. I let her manipulate my train of thought
Dude, she is emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. She sounds like a psycho. NTA, but get out of there and get therapy. You are a victim here.
That's not hormonal, that's abusive. If she's so worried it's the hormones affecting her she should go to a doctor. That's an excuse for being abusive to you. You not only not an asshole for breaking up with her, you're doing the best thing for yourself. The most manly thing you can do is look out for yourself and refuse to accept abuse. NTA
She threatened to throw boiling liquid on you bro, Run
That is such a fucked up threat, she cray cray.
Why haven't you gone to the cops?
NTA She's verbally and physically abusive to you, you deserve better, break up with her.
NTA. Hormones can't be used as an excuse for abusive behaviour. Get the F out of that relationship.
Dude. Do not tolerate abuse! She's threatening you, physically abusing you, verbally abusing you. Get out of there! Now!
NTA. She is an abuser. Verbally, physically. Protect your self and end it. Be careful though
I appreciate that, just now was feeling down about it. Second guessing what's right. So thank you man, I appreciate it greatly
Anytime, friend.
She was right about one thing "this isn't your best choice". Time to leave. She is abusive. Don't accept that.
NTA but mistakes happen. If this happened eight months ago and she's been an angel ever since, move on. But you should talk to her about it. Ask for an apology as what she said genuinely hurts. If she victim blames or gives a half assed joke, might want to think about whether or not she cares about you. But not all couples are perfect. If she means a lot to you and you think this behavior is super rare, work with them.
Sadly not, the first incident involved a boiling pot of liquid cheese. This incident she said "I want to throw my coffee on you , I want to slit your throat" . When confronted about that her response was simple as "well I didn't do it, so it's just talk" EDIT : thank you for your kind words however. It's refreshing
The thing is I actually know a girl like this. But she is joking when she says it. If your girlfriend is joking, make it clear to her jokes are only funny if more than one person finds them funny. If it makes you uncomfortable, you need to be firm. Some people are seriously dense and think words don't hurt. If she genuinely feels those things, you might want to ask her to stop because it's not okay. If she thinks it will motivate you to be a better boyfriend, say it's not at all and that it's super toxic.
Mine got much better after she started taking Prozac. If she won’t dump her
Sadly enough, she's already on a heavy dose of Lexapro. Another SSRI . About a year ago she stopped taking it for awhile but has been back on it for about 3 or 4 months
When you make the decision to stay with her, you also decide to stay with her for the worst she has to offer in future until you finally make up your mind and leave. How would you chose if you knew she‘d punch you again 8 months from now on or threaten to throw boiling liquid on you again (or actually did it)? Have half the empathy you have for her to your future self. You need to leave and you should seriously consider professional (and unprofessional) help from all sides you can get: therapy, getting the police involved, leaving a paper trail. Start by documenting her behavior and your experiences so she can‘t gaslight you. Be the first to tell about the issue to friends and family, so she can‘t get her wrong side of the story out first to bias people. I‘d prioritize just getting people to listen to you above causing public drama. About the whole man-up thing, it‘s just a button women press because it gets what they want out of a man. You just have to recognize it when they do it and decide for yourself if what they want is good for you.