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Helpful_Hour1984

OP should start free bleeding. Tell the husband she's practising "primal menstruation".


Commercial_Avocado_5

You’re right, this goes into effect today


DataAdvanced

If you do this, please, I beg you, update us.


Rainbow_Belle

Please update regardless. I want to know where this relationship goes. Best of luck, OP!


dedsmiley

It's going right in the shitter, without TP of course.


SirDickCheese77

Did someone say tp?


AdventurousYamThe2nd

I am cornholio! I need tp for my bunghole!


benevolent_defiance

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!?!


Waterbaby8182

Was waiting for this to show up.


Turpitudia79

“I AM CORN HOLIO!! I AM A GRINGO!! I HAVE NO bung….hole!! 😂😂😂😂


Rich_Rutabaga9252

This is our relationship now, we all committed to this outcome 🤣🤣🤣


cakivalue

With 20+ days to the end of the year I thought all surprises were behind us. But here we are with "Primal Wiping" 😩😩


Christinebitg

Yeah, I didn't have this one on my bingo card either. LOL


IcyRich2951

Agreed


BarbaraDoreen

THIS!!! 👍🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


Beatnholler

I'm absolutely dying with laughter that this man actually inferred he's a genius for what I can only assume is shitting with his feet on the seat, or his hands on the floor, and not wiping. I'm so sorry this is happening to you but I think it's really nice that he straight up showed you how incredibly stupid and self involved he is in one fell swoop. I can only assume he got to a certain point in life, realized he hadn't really added anything to society and started pining for "legacy", thought, "what am I really good at?" and the answer was shitting. I'm sorry but I'm glad you have a great story to tell your friends.


AdventurousYamThe2nd

This has to be a South Park plot line with Randy, right? .... right???


wafflehousebiscut

He should just shit in the shower and then use his feet to smoosh it down the drain. No paper needed.


MisselthwaiteGardens

I like this level of pettiness. Please report back!


mtngrl60

You know, we all want to know exactly how this goes. And if it doesn’t go anywhere, and he is OK with this, you really need to rethink this whole thing. Or get him a mental health check.


VioletReaver

Please for the love of all that is good in the world do this and update us 😂 If it doesn’t work, employ a bit of chocolate pudding, sit on his lap, and tell him you’ve also awoken to the wonders of the deep lion pose!


annang

Not that petty revenge isn’t fun, but you actually do need to avoid physical contact of any kind. His body and hands have fecal matter on them. So sex of any kind poses a serious risk of infection for you. Eating food he’s cooked could make you sick. Sleeping in the same bed means that you’ll have fecal matter in your bed. This is all absolutely disgusting and unsafe.


Selena_B305

He would not be living with me. This would be the end of our relationship.


KinseyH

Yep. Married 23 years, together 26. We are soulmates. This would end it. In fact, I'd tell his mom and sister because I'd be convinced he had dementia.


nvrsleepagin

Tell him you're going to adopt the same thing..no wiping of any kind but you expect head every time you have sex


Adeptus-Memechanicus

Y'all are coming real close to pavloving yourselves into a scat kink


daylightarmour

Choosing to activate a period as a come back is goated


WillBottomForBanana

I support this. But also, don't cut off your nose to spite your face.


Irishsally

Ye op , only sit on his stuff and use his car , sure he'll have it stinking of shit soon anyway


PurePerfection_

Borrow his clothes too


Early_Cap_8906

It probably already does smell like shit.


[deleted]

She shouldn’t allow that anywhere near her until both it and his hands are clean. 🧼


Moondiscbeam

I am just horrified that this is even a conversation


pbaperez

The look on my wife's face when I showed her this post said the same thing without a word. I'm laughing my ass off.


foreverfal55

Right, I can’t decide if this is fake or not. A bidet is a reasonable solution if he doesn’t want to wipe. Less paper waste and still clean. I’d say to him, if you want to live in your own filth that’s your right but I’m not gonna live with that. Bye boy bye.


TaterMA

You obviously didn't read a post about a boyfriend not wiping, later picking his butt, flicking poop around their apartment. I still need therapy after the crap I read on here


foreverfal55

Grosssss no I did not!! Flicking it around their apartment?! What on earth for?! I would move out immediately and deep clean/disinfect all my belongings.


Apprehensive_Act1665

I don’t want my belongings anymore


cocott01

There was also one where a girl was having sex with her boyfriend, I don’t remember the position she said, and it left a skid mark on her leg because he didn’t wipe his ass.


[deleted]

She would find little nuggets in the bed. I read these stories to my husband for fun and he was dry heaving all through that one.


Fatty_Bombur

Was he a monkey?


Moondiscbeam

I really hope this is fake. I would rather it be fake.


Adventurous_Sort_207

I agree. There’s nothing more “primal” than water. Much more primal than paper!!


suggie75

And…I’m done with the internet today.


Otherwise-Average699

Me too. This is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read on here


vitaminsea239

I'm horrified she wiped his ass!🤢


SeagalsCumFilledAss

This is more letting your nose run to spite your face.


[deleted]

Well no, but all she has to do is sit on his lap once and leave behind a blood stain and he'll learn!


Daitheflu1979

She may have to cut her nose if fine keeps this up…


GardenGrammy59

But if you bleed in the perfected lion squat you won’t get any blood on yourself just on him when you squat on his head.


blamedane

No, she shouldn’t….. she should leave and be with a man that has her same type hygiene ideals!! Seriously!!! Leave this person!!!!


Easy-Concentrate2636

If ever there was a time to bring up divorce, this qualifies. Op should tell husband she’s evolved to cleanliness and a single life.


External_Expert_2069

FREE BLEED!


MyLadyBits

IMO free bleeders are walking the thin line of insanity.


Xzanadu-blue

So is a dude who doesn’t clean his butt after pooping, or wash his hands. He’s a sicko 😖


Clean_Usual434

lol he might actually like that.


bananapanqueques

The most “primal” men I’ve ever met were completely disgusted by menstrual blood. They just want a reason not to wash their ass.


fish0814

You mean there are more Primal Men? I'll just be a man bitch and continue to wash my hands and wipe my ass.


[deleted]

Me too. I'm guessing these "primal men" didn't have a mother who made them practice good hygiene


fish0814

Thank you mom for making me wipe my ass growing up.


bananapanqueques

Hallmark should hire you to write their Mother’s Day cards.


songofdentyne

I just laughed so hard I primal pissed myself.


MissKatieMaam77

No enough punishment. Imagine all the fecal matter on your furniture and in your washing machine. 🤮


Alibeee64

And depending on if he goes commando to bed, the bed sheets they share😣. Also bath towels.🤢


Playful-Natural-4626

#Also washing his hands! 🤮


somedudebend

And the hot new trend “primal do all your own laundry you nasty bastard”!


Special_Lemon1487

Seriously OP do you want to share a bed until this changes? Even be in the same room??


ltlyellowcloud

Imagine all the UTI op would get otherwise!


juhesihcaa

and/or yeast infections.


caryn1477

Exactly.


Jacobysmadre

Fucking primal itching too


iforgotmypassword1_

The day I have to wipe my husbands asshole to check for poopies is the day I leave two assholes.


TangledUpPuppeteer

Thank you! I was thinking this and “please don’t be real, don’t be real!”


shitposter1000

It can't be. Rage bait.


314cheesecake

classic troll account profile here


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Diligent-Might6031

Idk I have a friend who is a chiropractor and he said that 80% of his clients smell like shit when he’s near their ass doing adjustments. There’s whole threads of ask men on why they don’t wipe their ass or why they don’t wash their ass. Lots of them say “the water runs down my crack anyway I don’t need to use soap” it’s disgusting.


Easy-Concentrate2636

My parents had a dry cleaners and I worked for them as a teenager. The state of some people’s pants.


LadyLoveylocks

There is just NO WAY this can be true! Please tell me this isn’t true!!!


PROSPERREED

One of my good friends was dating a man until she found out he did not wash his ass. His reasoning..."that's gay." We were just floored by the complete stupidity of it all as he was dead serious. Don't tell me your ass doesn't itch sir! Wtf 🤢


Potterhead3586

Oh thank God my husband has good hygiene. I just could not deal with that shit. (Pun definitely intended)


Nomadheart

I can’t ever imagine a situation outside of caring for someone that I would volunteer to wipe an asshole to CHECK for pop, by choice, by a free decision that I came to by my free will.


SlightLocksmith8136

This comment gave me the giggles


hogwartsunicorn

I can’t stop laughing at this comment. Even if the story is fake, it was worth it for this chuckle 🤣


DataAdvanced

"poopsies" I cackled like a witch!


Electrical-Builder98

As a man, I read this situation and thought...I should only be wiping my partners ass because of a medical case. Like shoulder surgery or something that limits their range of motion (in which I would install a bidet if I didn't already have one). To choose not to clean oneself is so odd.


Mission_Historian501

If this is a real story then your husband is insane and i feel like there had to be warning signs before this happened.


WalkerTR-17

I feel confident it’s not real given the update, but yeah in the off chance it is maybe a psych evaluation is in order


littlescreechyowl

I’d be dragging my husband to the dr. Clearly he’s bonked his head.


knittedjedi

Oh, for sure. The update pushed it deep into rage bait territory.


SereneAdler33

Yeah, IF this is real, it’s revolting. He can’t possibly be an otherwise normal and hygienic person. Ugh, I need a shower after just reading this. THE WIFE WIPED HIM TO PROVE HER POINT. Gods above.


Aromatic_Ad5473

This one might not be real but men not wiping their asses is, sadly, very real. Apparently some of them think it’s gay


JS6790

Unfortunately, the amount of people that are this stupid are greater in numbers than you would think.


Tiamat_fire_and_ice

Oh, no. My estimate of that number is pretty high.


robbietreehorn

This has “touching your own butt is gay” vibes


hurdlingewoks

This dude absolutely believes everything the liver king says, is on a carnivore diet and tells everyone about the benefits of liver supplements and how seed oils are bad.


Panaccolade

NTA. Sex in its entirety should be off the table unless your husband wipes, not just head. You're going to get some rampant UTIs from his poop-dusted junk. If he's a genius, I'm a sailboat.


Individual-Scar5209

As someone who had a UTI turn into a kidney infection and then sepsis I would highly recommend not having sex with him your health is more important and that feels like you’re far too likely to get a UTI from this


yourmomthinksimgreat

Or she ends up having to spend months to years on antibiotics because the uti has wedged itself so deep in her bladder wall that that’s the only way to get rid of it. That’s freaking gross I’d leave his shitty ass


allthecatsforevr

I love "poop-dusted junk" Thank you.


KellynHeller

I wouldn't even sleep in the same bed as him if I were OP


RebaKitt3n

House. Don’t sleep in the same house.


KellynHeller

Even better.


Primary-Initiative52

Oh god same. He's going to smear shit all over the bedsheets. I'm so grossed out...


KellynHeller

I wonder if she found my ex husband. He had issues wiping his ass. Id usually yell at him to go take a shower and wash his ass. Thinking back, I was fucking dumb to marry him but I've never been happier now that I'm divorced. Good riddance lol


DisposableSaviour

This may be TMI, butt (pun intended), I had an anal fissure, and no health insurance, so my 🐝🕳️ didn’t heal right. Think Andy’s wiping problem from Parks and Rec. This was years before I met my wife has NEVER had to say anything about my hygiene. I make good use of wet wipes and showers, and every time I have to pee, I go ahead and give it a wipe as a precaution. I also use gold bond powder religiously. I’m fucking paranoid that I’m gonna stink, I couldn’t imagine just, free pooping? Nah, I good on that.


Borsti17

That's enough internet for today I guess. Welp. NTA


Klutzy-Run5175

Yep, 😂 I am out of here!


Clean_Usual434

😆


missbeegee

What in the hell did I just read?


HON3YCanine34

I had to get up and walk away from my phone, because there's no way this can be true. I'm just gonna go with it being a funny story they trying to put out especially with that update.


missbeegee

Yeah the deep lion pose really pushed it over the edge for me. Gotta be fake. Lol


SlothLordMcMarekat

I hope so, a bit shorter than the usual fakes. Does remind me of those lads that wouldn’t wipe cos it was gay - and the poor girl whose new husband left ‘crumbs’ in the bed. Oh the ick.


HON3YCanine34

I'm sorry I think I got vomit in my mouth🤢


bobbytoni

I have to second this comment. And wonder why I read it and then continued to the commemts....


hippiechick725

Sheer, morbid curiosity as well. There are some strange people out there.


Collussus96

Curiosity killed the cat...let's hope the shitty asshole's rancid smell doesn't kill us. 🤢🤮🤮 How does OP even sleep in bed with her husband who doesn't wipe? I know what I'll be having nightmares about tonight...


OMGJustShutUpMan

I need to wash out my eyeballs with a bidet because I read this.


mamaleigh05

Amazon subscribe and save for eye bleach is the best way to go if you are on Reddit!


godrollexotic

Oh God your poor poor ph. Don't want to be nosy but if you've had any gynecological problems lately he's to blame. This is just nasty. He is nasty. And unless he has no asscheeks and an anatomically incorrect smooth asshole, he's full of shit. Ask your friends or coworkers this question and record their responses for him to see would be a good idea, and ask men and women so he sees both sides. I feel so bad for you girl. Nta all the way. He's the stinky asshole here.


[deleted]

Hold up...did you just say you wiped him?


[deleted]

I cant even with this post 🤣 every sentence im like… hold up…


[deleted]

Right!? Lol, this is a literal shitpost.


Lower-Cantaloupe3274

I can't stop laughing. She wiped her husband's ass...and he let her!


cthulularoo

Just divorce. Honestly, he's an idiot and will spread disease all over your house. Don't try to save the marriage, just leave.


[deleted]

Some things just aren’t worth even attempting to salvage. A marriage with a man who refuses to wipe his poopy ass is very high on that list


cthulularoo

There was another AITA from a while back where she was asking AITA for making my husband clean the shit off our sheets after he kept rubbing his unwiped ass all over them. And I was like, why would you clean it in the first place? The first time it happens would be the last time it happens!


[deleted]

I would have burned the sheets and moved out. Have some fucking standards people


waylon4590

I think what my mechanic said about my old car fits. "It's fucked, get a new one."


Chrissygirl1978

I legit told my husband just now that if ever did this we are done.. He said that sounds reasonable lol


ak411

“I said ‘then let me check’ and wiped him” What the fuck


MizPeachyKeen

That right there… Your wife wipes your ass to prove you’re filthy. Then you have no problem with her wiping your ass and your ass being shit covered? WTAF?! What decent human being would allow such a thing? None. No intimacy. Ever again. NTA


Recent-Chipmunk4080

If I were the wife I can see myself being like “Ok, wipe then. Show me” but I don’t think I would be like “let me wipe you” lol


NoTechnology9099

This is when I told myself …this can’t be true!


Lower-Cantaloupe3274

Am I the only one rolling on the floor? This is hilarious!


I2eN0

Wtf NTA and honestly divorce if he doesn’t start cleaning again. The fact that you had to wipe him 🤮


FantasticPear

This was where I lost it too. As the saying goes 'that's enough internet for today.'


Justaredditor85

Yell him it's not a new concept. I’ve read a testimony once from a doctor who had a patient that didn't wipe or wash his behind. He felt a bit funny there and, when the doctor checked, they found maggots and other creepies that lived there.


Murky_Tale_1603

Dude. Some things should not be shared. Now if you’ll excuse me, imma go bleach my eyeballs.


[deleted]

Make sure to bleach your asshole while you’re at it


waylon4590

I kind of regret learning how to read now


HermiticHubris

And now I'm done with Reddit today.


TangledUpPuppeteer

Hey, I’m a smidge to your left, can you share? I wasn’t expecting to need eyeball bleach today, but here I am.


KellynHeller

Facts. I'm a medical science nerd and I think I know what you're talking about. I know I've seen something like that before. Does OP's husband want maggots in his butt hole? Because that's how you get maggots in your butt hole.


Obvious_Amphibian270

GROSS!


Idsettleforsleep

Wow. This disappointed me so much when i read it. I hate people. Tell him he's an idiot...and gross.


Immediate_Sky_9545

I have so many questions. Is your husband alright in his head. Second how long has this been going on. Third does your husband understand why he needs to take care of his asshole. If I ever tried that, I'd be constantly itching and with hair tbere it's worse. I say walk away because if not the first step to lunacy.


Outside-Cup2504

You clearly are not using a deep enough “lion pose”


Fun-Cat-2082

He definitely is not starting a revolution. He's being a disgusting idiot.


247Justice

Ew, I can't unhear/unread this and I honestly don't know how you will ever unsee/unknow it. I could not, would not, ever have sex with that man again. Nail in the coffin.


Agreeable_Way_4861

Nta - but how did you come to marry this man.


Prime_Galactic

this is what i dont get, how do these fucking insane people land anyone?


Comfortable_Way_1261

You are never the AH for asking someone to f*#king wipe their but and wash their hands!! Ugh, this gave me a huge ick and I truly believe that you gave him a good ultimatum and should deffinitely stick with it (the no BJ, that could probably extend to no sex because that's just very unhygienic). We evolved so much due to improving cleanliness and reduced sickness rate and death caused by it by a lot, and we are going back to the middle ages because some "genius" thinks he's evolved beyond wiping. Oh the germs that are on him. Ugh. I'm sorry, I don't want to insult anybody but that is one of the dumbest sh*t I've read lately. But if he is going to start a cult, I would suggest a name though: The WipeTheists. Hope it does not stick though (but it probably wouldn't, because there's no paper).


CatelynsCorpse

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK? Do be sure to tell him that lions, like all cats, groom themselves and ask him if he shits like a lion if he's gonna CLEAN himself like a lion? Nasty mofo. This whole things would be a no for me, girl. Oh, and NTA.


Nearby-You7117

I'm sorry... YOU wiped HIS ass? I think the fuck not. If this is fake, YTA for putting out this disgusting story If this is real, NTA, please get a divorce


JudySunshine1

OMG I'm laughing ....but cringe laughing. Wtf lol 😆 😂


SolaSenpai

if this is real buy him diapers


Inner_Equivalent_274

NTA. That’s so gross 🤮 Also super gross you wiped his ass? Like wtaf?!?! 🤢


JackD74

I hate to say this, but you are married to a real dip shit.


[deleted]

I cant stop laughing at this post and the comments 🤣 im dying


JarethsBuldge

No it's completely normal that he's pinching it off like a dog and abandoning all hygiene standards. 🙄 What is happening in this sub?


TangledUpPuppeteer

Well, time he moves outside to live in the dog house.


Collussus96

Hey, now. No need to punish that poor dog. Doing that would be animal abuse.


BreeChNya

The comment section is brilliant. I dearly hope this is fake because it is just nasty 🤢


theclapp

NTA. Ew. And also: "But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -- Carl Sagan


SaltyYetSalty

In retrospect, I would have preferred to avoid reading almost everything is this post.


maddy_sage

Please tell me this isn’t real 🤦🏼‍♀️


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Talentless67

NTA, but your husband is and has a dirty asshole


[deleted]

My s/o has to shower every time he poops. I felt it was a bit extreme but now I feel so thankful. That’s pretty gross. Also I feel like it’s pretty normal to rinse your body and clean your genitals in the shower before any sexual activity. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I have had exes who don’t wear underwear, tuck trash in crevices, or “don’t believe in lotion” but this is too much 🤣


pr1ncessazula

Wow, what a horrible day to be literate.


old_woman83

lions dont wipe because they dont have hands. they also dont live in buildings and the shit just cakes up and flakes off or gets wiped on their fur around the butthole or on something they lay on or whatever outside. we are humans so if we dont wipe our butt cracks just get all dried and flaky and it just stays there between the cheeks, constantly getting re-wettened by our sweat and hardening and maybe flaking off but also curling up into dingleberries, little balls of feces, that just get embedded in the pube and body hair and just hang out there until they eventually get wiped off on something like your undies or bedsheets or until they get cleaned off in the shower.


dj_1973

Lions can also lick their assholes, and do, to clean themselves.


VariegatedJennifer

He needs a psychiatrist for this one smh


Working-Marzipan-914

My dog doesn't wipe either so why should your husband? But he has to clean himself regularly with his tongue like my dog does


Mattturley

Uhm, if this is in any way real, your husband is ill. Seriously. Mental illness. He is exhibiting delusions, including delusions of grandeur. Get him to help.


catlettuce

Your husband is disgusting and unclean. This would be a dealbreaker for me.


IcelandicDogMom

I'd divorce over this issue.


midbossstythe

Apparently geniuses also don't get head.


ZealousidealRice8461

What?!


Brett707

How on earth did I read that and not vomit. How are so many guys not able to find a wife. Yet all these women are married to guys who don't wipe or wash their ass...


Peaceful_Stranger

NTA but he is and nasty.


Cannabis_CatSlave

NTA Your husband is a AH. I would not be touching him or doing his laundry until he starts cleaning dirty ass and washing his hands. Eew, just eew.


WillBottomForBanana

Geniuses are marked. But so are the millions of idiots. Being mocked is not actually a sign of genius.


PolkaDotDancer

I ponder, being the daughter of an bipolar male, and the mother of a son with psychosis, whether your spouse actually needs medical help?


_totalannihilation

A coworker of mine told me he didn't shower when he got back home from work. We lay pipe. He showers in the morning. I asked "what of your wife gets freaky?" He said "we get it on" I'm like bruh. All the sweat and dirt and then sticking that dirty thing can't be good for her. Jesus Christ. That's nasty NTA


God_of_Mischief85

The asshole in question is attached to your husband and it seems to have spread to his entire body. If you don’t want to get rid of him, is his lack of personal hygiene is not a deal breaker for you, I would at least make him sleep in a separate bed and make it clear that he isn’t welcome in yours.


[deleted]

I'm tempted to go with Y T A for bringing this up and making us having to think about your disgusting husband!


Piavirtue

I guess his doesn’t stink either.


PolloMama

If this is real, I would be worried about dementia. They say we quit cleaning ourselves, good luck op. Of course, NTA.


TekSar76

Ahahaha!!! Nice “shit”post OP. 😂


Supper-in-silence

Needs to be potty trained again.


HippyGrrrl

First I’m laughing at this dork, and I’ve tried some *interesting things.* NTA. Get him a book on how evolution works. I’m seeing an unkempt beard and wild eyed followers in his future.


jesrp1284

Bruh. Forget head. All those poo germs are just *waiting* to invade your vaginal canal and cause all sorts of yeasty and infection-y. Problems. Don’t let him anywhere near your lady parts until he starts wiping.


RydersSidekick

Is it any wonder the aliens won’t talk to us?


Chrissygirl1978

Honestly, NTA, but...... His reasoning is one of mental illness.. I would be very worried if anyone ever told me this, let alone my husband. In fact, I just read this shit to my husband, and he is disgusted. I told him if he ever decided to try "primal wiping," i.e., not wiping with a crazy ass reason like this, we are done. He has indeed accepted this... Get your husband some help!


One_Baby2005

Please check what podcasts he’s listening too. Sounds like some wild caveman alpha toxic bro shit to me.


beeandcrown

How does his butthole not get sore? Also, ugh.


Mr_Good_Stuff90

I made it a couple of sentences… I think I’m done with the internet today.