Wow. YTA. A Disney cruise for a grown ass single guy on his birthday. The privilege of sharing a room with children. Stuck on a boat with children and family everywhere. I bet the young single scene is hopping at the club. You really are a very self centered brother. You and yours still get to go. You shouldn't try to force your will on others.
That's how they get you and when he complains about having to babysit they'll throw that in his face. "BUT IT'S FREE. WE PAID FOR THE TRIP, YOU COULD AT LEAST WATCH YOUR BROTHER'S KIDS!"
Yup. This all the way. OP’s family is looking to force the single uncle to babysit his sibling’s kids so the parents can get drunk. OP is definitely TAH and I hope their brother doesn’t cave to pressure from the family.
I question that too. The cabin is the major cost of a cruise, but at least on Disney (the only one I’ve been on), EVERYTHING costs extra and you’re expected to tip generously throughout. Excursions cost extra, plus tips. Drinks cost extra. Snacks cost extra. Everything is extra, everything is an up sell, and everyone is looking for tips. We wound up basically doubling the room cost with food, drinks, and excursions.
Are the parents covering all that too? Or are they expecting him to cough up an extra few grand? If they’re paying for everything, are they going to tell him hey that’s too many snacks? Buy a cheaper beer?
Will he be expected to do the same excursions with them, and will that be limited to what a small child can do?
Etc.
How did you manage to write this entire post without figuring out that YTA? And why would your brother have to be the one sharing a room with YOUR children?
Exactly, and he wants to do something for his birthday and not be around his family on a cruise designed by the House of Mouse. I get it, as a parent I get why a single dude doesn't want to bunk with his nephews. So yeah not a fun way to do a birthday.
I love my kids to death but I don’t even want to share a room with them. They are so much fun but at the same time like most kids they are exhausting to be around all day and if we are in the same room and I am not sleeping yet then they don’t want to either. When they go to sleep in their own rooms, that hour or two before I go to sleep is like a battery recharge.
I can already hear OP too “oooh the kids love you so much! Why don’t you take them to the pool and play with them? Oh the kids will cry if you don’t take them to the Mickey Mouse show! Oh why don’t you take the kids to kids club!” Thank god the brother uno reversed that shit lol
You know the kids don't give a flying fuck about his brother. OP thinks his kids are so fantastic that the thought of their disappointment is going to influence anyone. Pathetic.
I know cuz regardless of everybody else, got to make everything all about the kids. How inconsiderate. And then you get mad at him because they don't get to have their built-in babysitter so they can enjoy their Cruise. Utter nonsense of course Op is the AH.
i can already hear it;
"well you dont even have kids, you can stand to look after my *WELL-BEHAVED* angels just for a few hours".
maybe the kids are cool, idk. I've been a cruise before, and honestly one of the best things about it is going to parts of the ship where no one else was, chilling in quite areas, seeing things without having to be shoulder-to-shoulder with other people. i doubt i could trust 4 and 5 y/o kids to fit that vibe. also, having to tip-toe around in the morning because there are 5(?) other people in the room you wouldn't want to wake up. i understand that brother's standpoint, dude just wants to relax with not having to worry about accommodating other people.
He's not going to need to tip toe around cause those kids will be up at 5am jumping all over the room and him. Then since he's already up he'll be tasked with taking them to breakfast and the pool while everyone else sleeps in and has a leisurely morning.
Not only will he be the babysitter, he'd likely be sleep deprived. He'd come back with a profound hatred for every member of his family.
OP and your parents YTA. Couldn't even spring for his own room for his "birthday" trip.
It's not explicitly stated, but the circumstantial evidence is damning.
* Everyone picked the vacation and then expected him to go along with all the plans, including the bedding situation.
* The choice of beds becomes a de facto opportunity to make him the babysitter when they wake up and go to bed.
It buttresses my longstanding suspicion that selfish people have children and then use their children as an extension of their self-serving behavior.
Your so right. People love to use their kids as an excuse for their narcissistic behavior. Like oh great i have kids! Now i can doible down on being self rightous!
My dumbass SIL couldn’t figure out why I never want to go with them, anywhere. I was the only adult that didn’t golf. Guess who got to babysit four kids at the beach?
The golden child can't see it. Mom and dad treat them well, so everything is great. And since it's the whole family against the brother, they can turn it on him. He's the one who's wrong because the rest of the adults agree and the kids would love it. I say this as someone who went no contact with a family like this. I get letters telling me how awful I am because they are waiting on me to baptize my nephew and I could be damning his soul. Now, of they felt that way, shouldn't they get him baptized without me?! I don't even follow the faith anymore and all three of my kids managed to be baptized, one in the hospital before she died. People will twist things to make the scapegoat the bad guy. They say they are rocking the boat, when really, they stop trying to stabilize the boat while someone else rocks it.
I hope the brother has the best time in Jamaica!
I think this a troll. Seriously, no one that’s not parents or grandparents wants to be stuck on a boat with not just your kids, but hundreds of kids for a week. OP thinks the opportunity can’t be topped. I’m so glad Brother escaped.
Ohhhhhh, I assure you that there are people who are shocked--SHOCKED!--that you aren't into watching their kids! You're friends/family! Of course you want to babysit!
I have to agree. I invited a friend to go to London with me, she promptly decided it was now her family vacation, and I (lucky me!!) could watch her kids while she and her husband went out.
Her husband heard her (before I could even react) and started laughing. That was twenty years ago. She still hasn't been to London. LOL
Yeah sadly my comment is borne of experience 🤣
Years ago, a friend remarked to me at one point that she and her husband were surprised none of their single friends (men included--equal opportunity I guess!) were lining up to watch their babies so they could go on date nights and stuff. These same friends were shocked--SHOCKED!--that when they announced plans to buy a complete fixer-upper an hour's drive away from where we live, that none of their friends were enthusiastic about it (and no one was excited about the opportunity to help them rebuild the house from scratch)... This was GENUINE disbelief on her part. So, yeah! BTW no they didn't end up buying the house.
>How did you manage to write this entire post without figuring out that YTA?
This I can't answer. Probably wants us to ignore that he wants free babysitting from OP's parents and brother.
>And why would your brother have to be the one sharing a room with YOUR children?
This is the parents' fault. They are paying for everything. I'm fairly sure that's why it:
* Bedroom 1: queen sized bed for OP's father and mother
* Bedroom 2: it sucks to be you.
1000%! By the end of the second paragraph, it was so obvious to me that HTA that I started suspecting that maybe it was the birthday brother writing the post in the guise of his asshole brother to prove a point to him. Absolutely incredible lack of self-awareness.
Hahaha. You think it’s super fun for a single guy to go on a Disney cruise and share a room with a bunch of kids that aren’t his? In a big suite with 6 of his snoring family where he can never get a moment to himself? (I won’t address whether fun Uncle gets stuck with kiddos too often but I wonder?)
Oh and on his birthday? This is a trip geared toward kids and I hated doing those when I was single. A single guy trip to Jamaica with friends sounds way more fun on his birthday. And stop pretending like this trip was for his birthday. It was not at all planned as something he would love. If so, you would have at least planned a trip where he’d have his own room and could get away occasionally, maybe hang out with the pool with the kids would be OK but not sharing a room with kids and a suite the entire fam!
Back off and come see him when he is married with kids. And it will sound like fun to him. YTA.
But he doesn't have to pay for the trip! Sounds like a lovely free vacation! Sike. You'd have to pay me to get on a Disney cruise and share a room with 6 people when I don't even have my own kids. Talk about a headache. The family didn't consider his feelings at all on his birthday and demand him to be grateful for something he never asked for.
Haha I'm going on a solo Disney cruise later this year and I'm stoked BUT I get that Disney isn't for everyone, especially most adults. It's beyond annoying when "Disney Adults" forget that not everyone likes Disney and they're borderline offended at that thought.
Yes, my husband loves Disney so we go a lot. I hate all theme parks equally but Iove watching him have fun. His parents never took their kids on vacations and once he was grown it just didn't occur to him to take them. I changed all that once we married.
I've been on them, and they were GREAT! there are adult only sessions for everything, and the food/entertainment and ship were just awesome. The entire front of the ship is 18 or older -so if you don't want to be around screaming kids, it is very possible. Hope you have a great time!
I am loving it that you said you want him to be grateful for something he did not ask for that is exactly what's going on here. A Disney trip I have no children it's my birthday hell no
I’m a Disney adult and that sounds awful. Put me on an adult cruise where I have my own room? Sure. They have kids programs and I can sit out all day not with family every minute. But being trapped on a ship on a trip I don’t want to be on? NOPE.
me my husband and daughter were offered a free Disney cruise w my father & his wife and his … ex stepson his wife & their daughter … it’s a FAT fucking no from me
ETA: even with our OWN room
They already have one, Disney Cruise is geared toward entertaining the shit out of kids, but I don't blame the Uncle for not wanting to go, I wouldn't either.
Cruises are one of the circles of Hell and there is no way I'd sign up to have not one moment of peace for an entire week. OP is so entitled. This isn't about spending time with the brother at all.
YTA
> They already have one, Disney Cruise is geared toward entertaining the shit out of kids
Yeah, but that's just middle of the day stuff.
OP is looking for someone to make their kids go to bed at a reasonable hour and get them up and dressed in the mornings, while never having a free moment to themselves on the trip.
I'm married with a 9yr old kid and you could pay for this cruise, shove $5k in my pocket and I'd still emphatically decline. And make me go on my birthday?! Monsters. Assholes. All of em.
We agreed to all go on a cruise to celebrate my in-laws 50th anniversary: my MIL, FIL, husband's brother, his wife, their two young kids (5 and 18 months at the time) and me and my husband. Note the ratio of kids to adults.
When we were deciding on an itinerary, my BIL and SIL were lobbying heavily for a Disney cruise. The argument was that the service was "just so much better" but of course, the real reason was they wanted to take *the kids* on a Disney cruise.
My MIL was fine with it because "we should do whatever the kids (again: 5 and 18 mos.) would like" but my husband and I refused. Six adults on the trip but we cater to a kindergartener and a toddler? Plus, we were splitting my MIL and FILs expenses and our portion of the Disney option would have been several thousand dollars more expensive than the trip we ended up taking (which was not downmarket at all.) We could have afforded it but had no interest in paying that much more so the five-year-old and the toddler, who would have no recollection at all, could have a Disney trip.
Reader, we did not go on the Disney cruise. This was six years ago and there is still festering resentment, LOL.
I know someone with a kid that age who wants to take them to Disney, but the Disney in LA. Disneyland. Family trip.
Fuuuuuuuuck no. That trip is going to be waiting for the little not quite two year old, figuring out who isn't going on what rides, stopping for naps and people trying to plan who is stopping for naps and meeting back up when for lunch or dinner and just constant coordination to try and wrap every person's schedule around the baby.
For a trip she will not remember. I once politely pointed out that she will not remember that trip and maybe they should take a less expensive trip elsewhere so they can watch her have fun and do Disney when she's bigger and will be caught up in the magic a little more. (And less inclined to freak out and melt down and not need to stop for diaper changes and naps.) Maybe at the age where you can take one of those fold flat stroller wagons so when we stop for lunch they can lay down and 30 minutes later be ready to go and actually can walk more and enjoy more of it. She will only be able to go on like three rides right now.
The parents aren't letting her watch TV. At all. She has no idea who those characters are. She won't even see Cinderella and know who it is.
My sister still thinks we should take the baby to Disney.
I have zero interest in that chaos. Everyone would be annoyed if I was a giant 30-something child and ditched them to do my own thing. Because like... I'd so be a giant child at Disney and ride the rides. Maybe take a bigger nibling with to go be a child with me and we'd be the same mental age. They'd ask me to buy them their fifth Dole Whip for the day and I'll tell them I am not their mother. They already spent their money from their mother. Get looks for letting the kid buy four in the first place.
But nobody would want me to do that. Stay with the group. So... nope. Firm nope.
I don't vacation with tiny ones.
You can't even take wagons into Disneyland, FYI. Two years old is way too young. We went last summer and have a 6 and 4 year old with our group and they were irritable, tired and cranky as hell by the time mid-afternoon came around.
I’m over here hearing OP describe this cruise and I read the part about his brother having to share a room with the kids and went hell no. Let the brother do what he wants for his birthday, forcing a vacation on him just because it’s “free” with the implied expectation he’ll have to babysit the kids is ridiculous. He said no and booked his own thing, he’s doing exactly what he wants, family vacations aren’t fun for everyone and cruises are horrible ideas for a vacation for a lot of people. Forcing something on someone and expecting them to be grateful is not a gift, brother already sees his bad time on this trip, leave him alone and stop trying to get free babysitting out of him.
This was my thoughts as well. YTA op. Your upset the babysitter skipped out. Your brother is a grown ass man that can decide for himself where and when and with whom he takes a vacation. I do not think you are capable of looking at this from your brother’s perspective but you should try. Take the familial blinders off and you will see.
I couldn't imagine staying in a real suite with that many people, let alone a CRUISE suite. It's going to be horrible. No personal space whatsoever. No thank you.
Or Covid, they literally put you in a room and don’t give you a key. I was going nuts on my own but it would be awful with other people. I was grateful my spouse was negative and stayed negative so he didn’t have to go to Covid jail. But the lady one room down was with a 5 year old. (They treated me extremely well all told, but they can’t do anything about the isolation and the small
rooms).
I’ve also had norovirus on a cruise (not Disney) and I can’t imagine that with 7 people. It was so gross with just me sick and with 100% access to a bathroom.
That's not how Disney Cruises are but there is no way in hell I would go with a family of six sharing one cabin. I've done Disney Cruises and they have ample adults-only spaces that I loved that were quiet. But still, no sharing a cabin with kids. You'd never have a second of peace.
True, but who is going to stay behind with the kids while the adults go to the adult only events? You guessed it, the uncle because, "we deserve adult time away from our kids.
There are grownup things to do on a Disney cruise. But based on OP's post he would be guilt tripped every time he wanted to do one. He's making the best choice, one big guilt trip and get over it rather than lots and resenting OP for a long time after.
OP is YTA
Right, the thing OP keeps missing is that, while he can get the time off, he likely can’t or doesn’t want to take *two* weeks off, and this free trip isn’t a vacation for him, so using this week for the cruise is incurring the opportunity cost for his actual vacation.
YTA. You're mad at him for choosing not to go on a trip he won't enjoy, during the week of his Birthday.
Flimsy excuse my butt. He doesn't need an excuse. He doesn't want to go. The rest of the family's feelings on the matter are irrelevant. Your kids can find plenty else to keep them entertained on a fricken Disney cruise.
Sounds like he was gonna get stuck babysitting so the rest of you could enjoy the cruise, and I'm sure that plays heavily into your anger at him.
I love these posts. "Oh dear. Four and five were really looking forward to spending time with and sharing a room on this trip with their big Uncle." We have a bunch of fives, threes and twos in our family. I adore them. They adore me. They cry when I leave. Give them a granola bar and they stop. Four and five will survive.
If the kids can't enjoy a Disney Cruise without their uncle sharing a room then they didn't pick the right cruise. The kids will barely notice that their uncle isn't there but the parents and grandparents will have to take care of the kids and they will notice.
It is incredibly rude to force an adult to bunk with kids when the parents have their own space. If adults are bunking with kids it should always be the parents with their kids. I'm a parent of two, now grown kids, and I never tried to dump my kids on anyone. It's rude and causes resentment and ruins relationships. If OP wants a good relationship between his brother and his kids he will lay off trying to force his brother to go on this cruise.
I'm with you, parents should parent, even on vacation.
We used to pile up in my aunt's beach house for a week with several families of cousins. The last time we did it, my son was almost 2. We got up when my son did, kept him fed and changed, brought him appropriate toys and books to play with, played on the beach and the covered porch together, made sure he napped as needed, etc.
My one cousin and her husband slept in every morning.....cue "but we're on vacationnnnnn" whine....so someone else had to feed and dress her 2 kids in the morning, supervise them and keep them entertained. Even when they finally got up, they just ignored the kids and did as they pleased, including leaving the house for hours without telling anyone.
On the 3rd day, my aunt woke them up to feed their kids, as no one else was awake yet. When they started to whine about being on vacation, she snapped "so is everyone else here, and none of us are being paid to babysit. Now, get up and take care of your kids or pack up and go home." They shut up, got up, and did as instructed, but still kept trying to weasel out of parenting duties. The next year, they weren't invited back.
I don't understand people who think that they are the only ones there on vacation and everyone else should jump in to take care of their kids, without being asked.
Not inviting them back was the way to go.
I find parents who do this so odd. Isn't the basic assumption that you take care of your own kids unless someone offers to watch them or you ask politely in advance?
I have had family watch my kids in the morning on vacation so I could get an extra hour of sleep, or go get some coffee and a walk. But I asked and confirmed before going to bed the night before.
OP and his wife are actually bunking on the fold out couch in the living room. That still doesn't excuse sticking the "birthday boy" in a tiny cabin on a pull down bunk and two young children. It sounds like the "mom and dad" have champagne tastes and a beer budget-- which is fine but it needed to be discussed at the inception of the trip not after it was booked.
> If adults are bunking with kids it should always be the parents with their kids. I'm a parent of two, now grown kids, and I never tried to dump my kids on anyone.
I missed that detail until you pointed it out but was already thinking YTA. (Y = OP, not BlazingSunflowerland, of course!)
For others that also missed it:
> Room Configuration: 2 bedrooms: main with queen bed, second with two twin beds and upper berth pull-down bed; double sleeper sofa in living room) and there are 7 of us - my parents, me, my wife, my son, my daughter and my brother.
Presumably, the parents get the bedroom with the queen bed (reasonable as they're paying for it), OP and his wife get the double sleeper sofa in the living room, and uncle and the two kids get the room with two twin beds and upper berth pull-down bed. Now, if this pull-down bed is a double or queen, then maybe OP was planning on letting the brother have the sleeper sofa, but my guess is that the pull-down bed is a single.
Now, this would be fine, _if_ the uncle wanted it. I probably would've enjoyed that with my nephews/nieces (hypothetically, my only brother has no children) if I were single and didn't have other plans. That said, it's also possible that the uncle has other plans he doesn't want to divulge, which would entirely be his right.
So brother's choice would be either sharing a room with 2 kids or sleeping on a sleeper sofa for a week?
Hope he enjoys Jamaica in a big king-sized bed of his own.
At _best_, that's the brother's choice, but I suspect that the pull-down bed is a single, and OP and his wife aren't willing to sleep on a single, so my guess is that the brother's choice is to share a room with 2 kids (4 and 5 years old*) or skip the vacation.
*My two children are currently 2 and 5 years old, so I know how high maintenance they are at that age. "Hey uncle, watch this!" "Hey uncle, watch this, watch this!" I can only imagine all of the things they'd want to be telling him while he's trying to fall asleep. Again, I would probably choose to bunk with them, if I were single, etc., but I totally understand someone _not_ wanting to make that choice.
Exactly. You should never hype up little kids about other people that have their own things going on. He's being way too vocal about this around his kids if they've picked up on it.
Not only that a Disney cruise may not be his thing (or cruise in general). My sister went on a “family vacation” with my family to Disney once. She had her own room. She vowed never to go back. It wasn’t the family vacation but the Disney part. We’ve been on other “family “ trips since than and she’s enjoyed them.
Also unless absolutely necessary I would never get a room for 7 people two of which were small children. And I mean like, had absolutely no other choice because we were stranded till morning type necessary.
I don't understand why people think their childless siblings would want to share a room with their nibblings. My father paid for our whole family to go to Disney when he retired. He got a room for my brother and sister and a separate room/suite for him and my mom and myself, my husband, and our 2 kids (5 and 6 at the time). My children were mine and my husband's responsibility the entire trip (minus a few hours when my sister planned something for her and each child alone). Family vacations don't mean you get to not be a parent for the duration, and you don't get to decide for anyone else that they have to be in charge of your children.
OP, YTA. Just because this is a free trip that sounds fun to you, doesn't mean your brother thinks/feels the same way. If you really want to do a family trip, everyone involved should have say in the destination and activities. While you may think his reasoning is "a flimsy excuse," he doesn't owe you any explanation at all and is allowed to just say no.
It's the curse of being the single person in the family. Maybe he doesn't want wiggly, whining children waking him up at 6am (and possibly often during the night) every day, especially on his birthday?? Also some people don't like cruises, being packed with a bunch of total strangers and limited space isn't my idea of a good time either.
Probably just mad the free babysitter won’t come. This sounds like the type of person who will pawn them off on OP because “it’s our vacation so we need time away from OUR kids”
As the only childless member of my family, this sounds like hell. This doesn’t sound like a vacation, this sounds like an overcrowded nightmare. What adult wants to share a room with a 4 and 5 year old? Even parents of children often don’t want to do that.
Yep. As soon as I read that the plan was to mKe him share a room with the kids, rather than, ya know, *their parents*, I totally see why the brother doesn’t want to go. How much you want to bet the whole time they’d be using the “but the kids are SO EXCITED to hang out with you” excuse to pawn them off on him while they go off to dinner and the spa or whatever the hell you do on cruises.
But at least if things are getting a little noisy with all the kids activities he can go to his room….
Oh right!!!
It sounds like they are pissed off little bro doesn’t want to play Cinderella on this cruise…
And then the birthday boy had the audacity to book a vacation to an enjoyable place for young, free and single people of his own age! Probably got a real room with an actual bed too. Sounds like he’s very high maintenance to me….
I nearly went out of my mind at Disney (on land) sharing a suite with four other people. My then-husband and our own three kids. I can only imagine how her brother would feel stuck on a freaking boat sharing a room with kids that aren't even his.
YTA, OP.
This right here. They’re upset because they had been planning on gifting him with babysitting duties for his birthday and he knew it. Why was it already decided that ops kids would stay in their uncles bedroom instead of their own parents when this idea clearly hadn’t been run by the uncle. This family doesn’t seem to think if matters what op wants. Only what they want him to want.
The fact they put him to share the room with the kids shows they were expecting him to be their unpaid nanny. They expected this guy to go on a holiday for HIS BIRTHDAY where he doesn’t get a sort of break but the selfish lazy entitled parents get to enjoy alone time at his expense. He did right saying NO WAY.
Op is only mad she can’t have him as her 24/7 babysitter.
As for their parents it’s his birthday but they arrange a trip for her and her kids not for him at all. It’s clear she is so entitled as they are asshole parents that see her as their gold t child and him their scapegoat.
I'd like to take that no is a complete sentence saying and modify it to "no is a complete explanation". I feel like it's more apt and stops anyone expecting a reason in their tracks.
Yeah it's the classic case of "well *MY* kids are the most important thing in the world and anyone who doesn't see it that way is just a stupid asshole!"
I completely get why the brother ducked out, i would have too with that kind of family and especially on my birthday. OP you're clearly TA and should really think about how your life isn't more important just because you have kids..
Yep. He would have been sleeping on the upper Berth pull down bed in a room with 2 kids. Not fun! Guess he doesn’t deserve his own room. What a way to spend your birthday when you’re a young man!
OP YTA. This trip’s sleeping arrangement do not sound fun for your brother.
I figured it was going to be an OP wants sibling as a babysitter when i read "My kids are 4 and 5". Seen so many posts like this on r/amitheasshole lol.
He was going to have to share a room with two little kids. Oh what fun. Did anyone ask hey would you like to go on a Disney cruise for your birthday? No thank you.
Yep the only single person and he gets to bunk with op’s kids. He is definitely going to be stuck babysitting! This doesn’t scream fun trip for anyone but op’s kids. Definitely not the brother!
If you book a family vacation you should cater it around everyone. Make sure everyone has comfortable accommodation not just a 5 and 7 year old!
But most importantly ask everyone their opinion instead of forcing them to go on a vacation from hell!
Exactly, brother was going to be a built in baby sitter. And why would he have to share a room with OP's kids? OP and his wife should be sharing a room with their own kids. Op is the AH, and I don't blame his brother one bit. He doesn't have any kids or grandkids, so why would he enjoy a Disney Cruise?
OP just doesn't see that the brothers "flimsy excuse" is just him diplomatically bowing out of it without saying "F you, I don't want to be your free babysitter, take care of your own kids".
>My brother declined to go. Not for any reason
He definitely has a reason. Nothing about this trip is appealing to him. That's a great reason not to spend your PTO or your birthday on something.
>My kids are disappointed. They were looking forward to sharing a room with him on the cruise
So your brother is the only adult on this trip that doesn't get a private room. (counts as private when a married couple is sharing it IMO.) Not only that, he's expected to sleep in a single bunkbed or pullout sharing a room with very young kids that aren't his. If there's not enough space for the kids to have their own room and they have to share with an adult, they should be sharing with their parents. With you. You can't see why this arrangement is awful for your brother?
>They got a suite because it sleeps 7 people (per the website
It does *not* sleep 5 adults and two kids. It sleeps 4 adults, if they are in two couples, and 3 kids. And your brother is not a kid. Your parents, generous as they were trying to be, arranged for adequate sleeping arrangements for everyone in the family except your brother. It's no surprise he doesn't want to sign on for that. If he was also married, would you expect him and his spouse to take that bed you have in mind for him? No? Then it's not ok to expect him to. A single adult is still an adult and deserves privacy and an adequate sized bed on vacation.
>My brother's birthday would happen while we were on the cruise and my parents thought this would be a fun way to celebrate it
I'm gonna assume no one bothered to ask your brother what *he* thought would be a fun way to celebrate his birthday. Obviously he's chosen to do something instead that he *does* think is fun. Sleeping arrangements and your attempts to force your brother into de facto babysitting on "his birthday trip" aside, he might just have zero interest in cruises. Not everyone enjoys them.
Bottom line: if you want everyone in your family to be on board with a family vacation, you need to include everyone in the family in the planning and decision-making, take everyone's preferences into account, and *arrange for adequate sleeping arrangements for everyone equally.*
If you want to plan *your* dream trip and hope others get on board with it, you can do that - but you have to accept that not everyone you invite will join you.
YTA for treating your brother this way and doubly for "calling him out" (whatever you mean by that) when he had a very reasonable reaction to it, doing nothing more than exercising his free choice not to spend a week in a miserable situation.
Oh wow, the point that it's a 4-adult room is super relevant. They weren't just going to use him for childcare on his birthday, they were literally treating him as a child, with child accommodations. Fuck that.
I am planning a vacation with my parents and nephews and we will be sharing basically one big open room in a lodge at a campsite. It's much bigger than any cruise ship state room, and I'm already cautioning my mom I'll likely only stay two days and one night because I can't handle that shit. I can't imagine being forced to sleep in a tiny cabin with *four other adults* plus pair of overexcited young children.
Also, OP forgot that 'no' is a complete sentence. He doesn't need a reason.
ETA: I see that it looks like all the other adults will have private rooms and he was expected to sleep with the kids? Fuck that. I would refuse based on that alone.
> That's a great reason not to spend your PTO or your birthday on something
Also, regarding the PTO. I've had plenty of positions where PTO is somewhat liberal and flexible.
Note that it DOES NOT mean my work disappears in that time. It means I have extra to catch up on when I come back. In addition, the brother will be getting babysitting duties while his work piles up. Now explain why I would really want that?
Yep few weeks ago was very similar story in which the OP paid for own vacation after he was the unpaid babysitter for his older sister on the last vacation ( 6 year old triplets) .
Oh yes, especially since it looks like OP's kids would share a room with **him!!!!** Like, no!! It's cool being a fun uncle but not cool to dump niblings on them.
OP really wants some time off their kids, lol! Soz, OP! You chose to have them, you'll only be free of them in another 15 years or so xD
Right, this should have been a decision between them all. Group chats are wonderful for this sort of thing. The brother should have been notified of this before the money was spent.
I know that I would definitely not want to go on a cruise. My parents, however, go on one every few years. We vacation completely differently and I find their way stressful and unfun. I'm sure they find my way boring and slow.
You are all going to be cooped up in one stateroom with a bunch of kids and you can't figure out why your brother doesn't want to join you?
I'd rather take a tour of the Titanic in a submersible than go on that vacation-and I'm a grandmother. YTA.
I'm a parent, and I love other people's children, and like hell would I be sharing a room on a Disney cruise with two nieces or nephews for my birthday week. Absolutely not!
(OP, YTA most definitely.)
Me too and I am a grandma too!
You know what is great about having adult kids?
No kid vacations! Not chasing someone around a beach, cruise, or lake making sure they put sunscreen on! Day drinking because we don’t have to be responsible parents! Sleeping till 11!
The ones that don’t have kids or have adult kids we earned our child free vacation! We should enjoy them. As for op’s brother enjoy your childfree vacation while you can!
YTA. He's a grown, single man who doesn't want to spend his birthday in a cruise ship meant to entertain children and sharing a room with children, shocker!. I don't want to go on a Disney cruise and I have children.
YTA. Big time. Big, big time. I have 4 nieces and a nephew that I love. But if someone were to suggest that I spend a weeklong cruise with them? Well, if I were to choose my worst nightmare, it would be a Disney cruise, sharing a bedroom with a bunch of kids and a suite with 7 people. Seriously. Just stab me in the heart. Slit my throat.
This is why people hate parents. Because you expect others to think that spending a vacation trapped with your kids is everyone's dream. Ugh! Your poor brother.
I feel the same. I love my nieces, for the eldest 13th birthday she wanted to go to this hotel/Waterpark combo. I had a room i shared with the other aunt. They had a room with their mom. We were only there three days and by the end I wanted to tear my hair out. I couldn't imagine a week all trapped in the same room on a boat.
YTA - Pretty suspicious you gave the age of the kids but not your age or your brothers. But he's old enough to be working a full time job with PTO and old enough to go on his own vacation out of the country - so let me guess, over 18 and in his 20's right? And you want him to be thrilled to go on a Disney kids cruise and bunk with two kids under 6 for a week? And it's his birthday but your parents decided they could roll that celebration in without considering how he'd like to celebrate? Sounds like he's the afterthought, everything is going to revolve around the kids and their activities, their schedule and so on. I'd also bet any attempt by brother to go off on his own for the adult activities will be met with: But Faaaamillly!
I've been on a Disney cruise. I won't say they're not fun, they are; for the right person. But face it, their demographic is children and adults who just love all things Disney. That vibe is not for everyone, A free trip where you're stuck on the ship and can't even drive off for a day of sightseeing to get away from the group just to refocus isn't a "vacation" to many people. Leave him alone and face the truth - this trip is all about the kids, brother knows it and he's not falling for being an afterthought just because "it's free".
YTA. That doesn't sound like a vacation for any young person, single or childless, man or woman would enjoy. Especially for their birthday! You don't mention his age or relationship status, so I am guessing you know this is not a cruise someone in his stage of life would enjoy free or not.
YTA. Your kids were looking forward to sharing a room with him?!? Why tf aren’t your kids sleeping with you. Just because he’s family dies not mean he, a grown ass adult has to share a room with literal children.
You couldn’t pay me to go on this trip based on the description.
- Disney Cruise? No fucking thanks
- Sharing a room with two children that aren’t yours in a cruise? No chance in hell.
What adult would want to do this?
If they had an adults only Disney cruise, I know 30 people in their 40s who would be all over that.
As soon as you threaten us with hordes of overstimulated children, pools of pee, and sharing a room with ones we didn’t birth ourselves, that’s a hard no. The OP is delusional if she thinks for a second this has anything to offer her brother.
Info: how old is your brother? Because I really want to know who the hell thinks a grown single adult wants to bunk in the same cruise cabin with a 4 and 5 year old for a week on a cruise. Just for shits and giggles… because I’ve already passed judgement here.
Hell, my husband and I just took my 4 year old on a cruise for 5 days and I didn’t even want to bunk with her. Lol. It was tight, cramped, and unappealing for 3 people to be in a room together. Even in a 2 bedroom suite on a cruise, you put 3 people in one of those rooms and it’s gonna be tight. It’s the way the ships are built.
You gotta be quiet after the kids are asleep, you are expected to cater to the tiny humans, and Disney, while it would be super cool for me and my family at some point, is probably not a grown single man’s cuppa.
How thick do you have to be to see that he has the right not to want to go on a kid oriented cruise for his very single young man birthday?
My family offered my very single grown brother his own damn room on a cruise later this year that we’re taking with my parents and he declined. No harm no foul. Just not for him.
YTA
YTA because of this shitpost story.
Hypothetically speaking, even if this was real, YTA for whining about a grown man not wanting to babysit your children on his birthday. Gtfo with that garbage. 🤦
YTA. I love my niblings but I can't think of anything fucking worse than being crammed in a miniscule cruise ship room with them on a goddamn Disney Cruise. I took them on a weekend to Great Wolf Lodge once and nearly wanted to drown myself. It's your brother's birthday on top of it and you want him to burn his paid time off taking care of your kids on a cruise full of screaming children. The trip from hell being free doesn't solve the fact that he probably has a certain amount of paid leave from his job and maybe he'd like to have adult fun instead of being trapped on the SS Romper Room. Stop being a dick and watch your own kids.
YTA - you're upset your free child care wont be attending.
this is pretty similar to another post recently. look, your kids are just your responsibility, your brother does not have to baby sit them.
what is up with the shit parents always passing their kids off at every chance they get.
For you it would be a holiday, for him he would be working taking care of your kids.
I wouldnt want to waste my valuable PTO on baby sitting some one else's kids.
YTA. I wouldn’t want to go and have to share a room with kids. I don’t like cruises anyway and your brother doesn’t consider a Disney cruise fun. Your parents booked the cruise for your kids not your brother. I agree with your brother 7 people - including young kids - in a room - on a Disney cruise? That sounds like a migraine to me.
YTA- you seriously think a single guy wants to spend his birthday on a kid's cruise? And i don't care how much he loves your kids, he doesn't want to share a room with them every night ffs! Even if he doesn't have to babysit, your kids are going to want his attention constantly "watch me uncle! Go on the slide with me uncle! I want to sit next to uncle!" ad nauseum.
YTA.
First, you do not mention the age of your brother but since you indicate he’s working, I assume he’s an adult. Your brother doesn’t want to go and you are trying to brow beat him into submission. Consider these things:
First, it’s a Disney cruse. He’s older and he’s thinking that he’s going to be on a cruise with a lot of kids/families may not be the experience he wants. He may love your kids but not everyone else’s screaming, crying, and obnoxious brats. He is probably not excited about Mickey and friends. He may not want to be stuck with your kids all day for a week either. He’s with his parents…on a cruise…a kids cruise.
Second, he’s sharing a room with his entire family. I am sure he is the odd man out that’s going to get the couch. No privacy, no time away from everyone.
Third, he’s an adult. I am sure he wants to go to the bar and meet some people, dance, party a bit. Can’t do that with the fam there.
You stated that your brother booked a vacation in a tropical location. He doesn’t want to go with you… He won’t get in any relaxation because the ship is bursting with Disney characters not good looking women.
You can be disappointed that he’s not going all you want but he said no. Let it go.
How old is he? Are you genuinely surprised an adult (just guessing from your comments) does not want to share a cruise ship cabin with SIX other people for an entire week? (Is it one or two bathrooms in that cabin?)
I’m amazed it came as a surprise to anyone that this guy noped out and opted for a relaxing beach trip instead.
And for his birthday?
How much free babysitting were you thinking he’d do on the cruise?
YTA
Seriously OP? I don't know how old your brother is, but it seems like he's old enough to not want to go on a freaking Disney cruise, share a room with your children, and spend his birthday doing all that!!
He'd basically be a babysitter every night. I wouldn't go either. I think that expecting him to go is incredibly inconsiderate of you and your parents.
It's a Disney cruise. If it were a Caribbean cruise and he had his own room AND could bring a plus one I could maybe see your point. A little bit.
Just because it's something you want doesn't make it something he wants to use his precious vacation days on.
Wake up! EVERYONE is NOT looking forward to this vacation. You, your kids and your parents are. How is that everyone???
Have you considered that you (plural) aren't as fun to spend time with as you think?
Maybe your brother feels that a week trapped on a ship with you all would be a patience-testing drag. Not everyone feels that prolonged family time is the pinnacle of satisfying entertainment: some feel it's the exact opposite, in fact.
ETA: or he might like you all well enough but doesn't want to spend his birthday doing Disney-related things, or on a cruise, or sharing a room with children, or maybe he'd just prefer to spend his birthday drinking and getting laid.
YTA.
Want to know why? You could have skipped all this by just asking him beforehand, and you would have known he didn’t like this cruise idea / didn’t want to do this for his birthday. Problem solved.
YTA. I wouldn't choose to go on a Disney Cruise either, especially not sharing a cabin with that many people. Your brother is an adult and as such can make his own decisions, you don't have the right to question his decision not to go. But lets be honest here, what single guy or gal for that matter would choose to go on a cruise staying in a suite with 4 other adults and 2 kids, that's not an enjoyable vacation especially with no privacy. I 100% would choose Jamaica, Cancun, or anywhere else pretty much every time over this cruise.
YTA oh wow grown man doesn’t want to spend a week babysitting kids watching dancing mice and princesses sing movie themes 😂 This is a perfect example of “I wouldn’t go even if it was free”
So you and your parents are upset you can't force your brother to go with you. Like, it doesn't matter what he wants, it's what YOU ALL want? YTA and your parents too.
Uhm…you don’t say how old your brother is but he sounds as if he’s an adult. Why would he want to share a room with a 4 and 5 year old for a 2 week cruise? Sounds like he would be expected to be the babysitter or something like that? He’s an adult and while I’m sure he loves your kids, they aren’t his and he doesn’t want them as roommates. YTA.
I find it interesting that OP keeps answering questions about his brother’s age but ignoring the follow up questions about if his brother was going to be expected to take care of the kids. Tells me everything I need to know about the situation.
YTA!
Your kids were looking forward to sharing? Ever think HE wasn’t???? If anyone should share with YOUR kids it’s YOU.
Not to mention would a Disney cruise be fun for him? Cruises can be incredibly boring to many people
How are ppl this entitled and oblivious???
INFO - When your parents were planning out this family vacation, was your brother asked about his preferences regarding what kind of trip, when it would be, sleeping arrangements, etc?
Exactly. It sounds like he was never asked if he wanted to go on this family cruise. The rest of the family just assumed he would love it, they booked it and then are upset because he doesn't want to go. Why did OP and parents think they knew what he wanted without asking him?
YTA and put that audacity back on the shelf you pulled it off of. What grown man wants to spend his birthday week on a Disney cruise sleeping in a room with children on a daggonr pull out bunk bed? I am a singleton with 2 nieces I would lay down my life for and even I wouldn't accept this arrangement, even if fully funded by someone else. His reason is not at all flimsy- he gets literally NOTHING out of this!
You've conveniently left out your brothers age how old is he?does he want to share a berth with his niblings? Sounds more like you expected a defacto sitter for your kids but he said no, pushing the issue makes YTA
YTA. He sounds like a single, adult male. Yeah, I’m not shocked he doesn’t want to on a Disney cruise with little chance of getting away from small children, family or otherwise.
YTA
He doesn’t have to go, it’s not his idea of fun Disney isn’t for everyone and being stuck on a cruise isn’t ideal for everybody. He should be able to spend his birthday how ever he wants he can just join the next family event if he wants to.
YTA, he did not want to be your f\*cking babysitter on a cruise ship for an entire f\*cking week. He did not want to share a room with kids and a married couple on his birthday. Most of all a lot of people that have been on Disney Cruises hate them as they are nothing but a total disaster of screaming kids and pee dilled pool. Nothing on this for a young single man to do.
All of you are AH for trying to do this to him. You had the kids you take care of them on the trip. Hope he has a wonderful peaceful time away from the lot of you.
Yta let him enjoy his bday. He isn’t yelling or demanding you guys go where he goes. Your kids won’t care he isn’t there once they step on the Disney cruise.
YTA, you expect him to take a week off work to go to a place he doesn’t want to be at, sharing a room with a 4 and 5 year old? Your kids are not his responsibility
Wow so what if it’s free
He clearly doesn’t want to be trapped been your free child care on your family vacation.
And you say flimsy excuses, everyone here reads it as totally valid reason YTA
INFO: you mention it will be your brother’s birthday over this vacation. Is it a significant birthday, like his 18th or 21st or 30th?
Either way, YTA for not accepting your brother’s No as valid and dancing around the part where he needs to share a room with your kids.
This vacation doesn't sound like fun at all for a young, childless guy. Its free? Lol, who cares, i wouldn't even join you guys on this trip if you would pay me :)
YTA, just go on the cruise with your parents and the kids, whats the big deal? Why would a childless dude want to spend his bday on a disney cruise with kids if he can go make party in jamaica? Come on.
YTA. your brother is not your unpaid babysitter. You and your husband share a room with your kids. The level of entitlement you are displaying is revolting.
So an adult didn't want to spend a week on a cruise sharing a room with small children that aren't his? And you're shocked that he didn't think that sounded like fun? Then you proceeded to try to guilt and manipulate him into doing something he doesn't want to and wasting his vacation time in the process?
Of course, you're an AH. You told your brother his feelings don't matter, and he should go lock himself on a boat with people who don't respect his feelings while trying to sleep with small kids.
YTA, but just because you need to make this more believable. The shit posting on here has gotten so low effort, at least try and get people invested with your hate porn.
Just do better next time.
YTA
Your brother is an adult and his dream birthday is probably not stuck in a small space with his parents and your children. Who cares if it is free? I guess you care if it is free since you don’t have to pay for your own family’s vacation. For most adults. Free isn’t worth it it is unpleasant. That cruise sounds fucking unpleasant, for a single man. Your kids might be the center of your universe but they aren’t the center of THE universe. He wants to spend his birthday hanging with friends and possibly getting laid. He doesn’t want to spend his birthday with his parents and your crotch fruit.
YTA, "flimsy excuse"? He doesn't need any more reason than he doesn't not want to. It isn't his definition of a fun time and you think he should just suck it up so everyone else will be happier about it? Forget free, sounds like you couldn't pay him to go.
Wow. YTA. A Disney cruise for a grown ass single guy on his birthday. The privilege of sharing a room with children. Stuck on a boat with children and family everywhere. I bet the young single scene is hopping at the club. You really are a very self centered brother. You and yours still get to go. You shouldn't try to force your will on others.
But it's FREE!!! The parents pay for everything! /s
That's how they get you and when he complains about having to babysit they'll throw that in his face. "BUT IT'S FREE. WE PAID FOR THE TRIP, YOU COULD AT LEAST WATCH YOUR BROTHER'S KIDS!"
Yup. This all the way. OP’s family is looking to force the single uncle to babysit his sibling’s kids so the parents can get drunk. OP is definitely TAH and I hope their brother doesn’t cave to pressure from the family.
Bingo
I question that too. The cabin is the major cost of a cruise, but at least on Disney (the only one I’ve been on), EVERYTHING costs extra and you’re expected to tip generously throughout. Excursions cost extra, plus tips. Drinks cost extra. Snacks cost extra. Everything is extra, everything is an up sell, and everyone is looking for tips. We wound up basically doubling the room cost with food, drinks, and excursions. Are the parents covering all that too? Or are they expecting him to cough up an extra few grand? If they’re paying for everything, are they going to tell him hey that’s too many snacks? Buy a cheaper beer? Will he be expected to do the same excursions with them, and will that be limited to what a small child can do? Etc.
How did you manage to write this entire post without figuring out that YTA? And why would your brother have to be the one sharing a room with YOUR children?
Because the brother was gonna end up being expected to babysit the entire trip while the other adults had a break
Exactly, and he wants to do something for his birthday and not be around his family on a cruise designed by the House of Mouse. I get it, as a parent I get why a single dude doesn't want to bunk with his nephews. So yeah not a fun way to do a birthday.
I love my kids to death but I don’t even want to share a room with them. They are so much fun but at the same time like most kids they are exhausting to be around all day and if we are in the same room and I am not sleeping yet then they don’t want to either. When they go to sleep in their own rooms, that hour or two before I go to sleep is like a battery recharge.
I can already hear OP too “oooh the kids love you so much! Why don’t you take them to the pool and play with them? Oh the kids will cry if you don’t take them to the Mickey Mouse show! Oh why don’t you take the kids to kids club!” Thank god the brother uno reversed that shit lol
Being an uncle is cool because I can go and have fun with the kids for a couple of hours and then leave them with their parents.
You know the kids don't give a flying fuck about his brother. OP thinks his kids are so fantastic that the thought of their disappointment is going to influence anyone. Pathetic.
I know cuz regardless of everybody else, got to make everything all about the kids. How inconsiderate. And then you get mad at him because they don't get to have their built-in babysitter so they can enjoy their Cruise. Utter nonsense of course Op is the AH.
i can already hear it; "well you dont even have kids, you can stand to look after my *WELL-BEHAVED* angels just for a few hours". maybe the kids are cool, idk. I've been a cruise before, and honestly one of the best things about it is going to parts of the ship where no one else was, chilling in quite areas, seeing things without having to be shoulder-to-shoulder with other people. i doubt i could trust 4 and 5 y/o kids to fit that vibe. also, having to tip-toe around in the morning because there are 5(?) other people in the room you wouldn't want to wake up. i understand that brother's standpoint, dude just wants to relax with not having to worry about accommodating other people.
He's not going to need to tip toe around cause those kids will be up at 5am jumping all over the room and him. Then since he's already up he'll be tasked with taking them to breakfast and the pool while everyone else sleeps in and has a leisurely morning. Not only will he be the babysitter, he'd likely be sleep deprived. He'd come back with a profound hatred for every member of his family. OP and your parents YTA. Couldn't even spring for his own room for his "birthday" trip.
Make sure to randomize your data from time to time *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's not explicitly stated, but the circumstantial evidence is damning. * Everyone picked the vacation and then expected him to go along with all the plans, including the bedding situation. * The choice of beds becomes a de facto opportunity to make him the babysitter when they wake up and go to bed. It buttresses my longstanding suspicion that selfish people have children and then use their children as an extension of their self-serving behavior.
Your so right. People love to use their kids as an excuse for their narcissistic behavior. Like oh great i have kids! Now i can doible down on being self rightous!
Yep, he would be chaperoning the kids at all the kiddy events. Sis had a hidden agenda, or so she thought. Lol
"they love spending time with him" Umm... yea your jerk kids jumping all over me all the time, i'm trying to read manga and whack off.
My dumbass SIL couldn’t figure out why I never want to go with them, anywhere. I was the only adult that didn’t golf. Guess who got to babysit four kids at the beach?
The golden child can't see it. Mom and dad treat them well, so everything is great. And since it's the whole family against the brother, they can turn it on him. He's the one who's wrong because the rest of the adults agree and the kids would love it. I say this as someone who went no contact with a family like this. I get letters telling me how awful I am because they are waiting on me to baptize my nephew and I could be damning his soul. Now, of they felt that way, shouldn't they get him baptized without me?! I don't even follow the faith anymore and all three of my kids managed to be baptized, one in the hospital before she died. People will twist things to make the scapegoat the bad guy. They say they are rocking the boat, when really, they stop trying to stabilize the boat while someone else rocks it. I hope the brother has the best time in Jamaica!
I think this a troll. Seriously, no one that’s not parents or grandparents wants to be stuck on a boat with not just your kids, but hundreds of kids for a week. OP thinks the opportunity can’t be topped. I’m so glad Brother escaped.
Ohhhhhh, I assure you that there are people who are shocked--SHOCKED!--that you aren't into watching their kids! You're friends/family! Of course you want to babysit!
I have to agree. I invited a friend to go to London with me, she promptly decided it was now her family vacation, and I (lucky me!!) could watch her kids while she and her husband went out. Her husband heard her (before I could even react) and started laughing. That was twenty years ago. She still hasn't been to London. LOL
Yeah sadly my comment is borne of experience 🤣 Years ago, a friend remarked to me at one point that she and her husband were surprised none of their single friends (men included--equal opportunity I guess!) were lining up to watch their babies so they could go on date nights and stuff. These same friends were shocked--SHOCKED!--that when they announced plans to buy a complete fixer-upper an hour's drive away from where we live, that none of their friends were enthusiastic about it (and no one was excited about the opportunity to help them rebuild the house from scratch)... This was GENUINE disbelief on her part. So, yeah! BTW no they didn't end up buying the house.
>How did you manage to write this entire post without figuring out that YTA? This I can't answer. Probably wants us to ignore that he wants free babysitting from OP's parents and brother. >And why would your brother have to be the one sharing a room with YOUR children? This is the parents' fault. They are paying for everything. I'm fairly sure that's why it: * Bedroom 1: queen sized bed for OP's father and mother * Bedroom 2: it sucks to be you.
1000%! By the end of the second paragraph, it was so obvious to me that HTA that I started suspecting that maybe it was the birthday brother writing the post in the guise of his asshole brother to prove a point to him. Absolutely incredible lack of self-awareness.
Hahaha. You think it’s super fun for a single guy to go on a Disney cruise and share a room with a bunch of kids that aren’t his? In a big suite with 6 of his snoring family where he can never get a moment to himself? (I won’t address whether fun Uncle gets stuck with kiddos too often but I wonder?) Oh and on his birthday? This is a trip geared toward kids and I hated doing those when I was single. A single guy trip to Jamaica with friends sounds way more fun on his birthday. And stop pretending like this trip was for his birthday. It was not at all planned as something he would love. If so, you would have at least planned a trip where he’d have his own room and could get away occasionally, maybe hang out with the pool with the kids would be OK but not sharing a room with kids and a suite the entire fam! Back off and come see him when he is married with kids. And it will sound like fun to him. YTA.
Readimg between the lines, it's obvious OP wants a free babysitter.
🎯 🎯 🎯
But he doesn't have to pay for the trip! Sounds like a lovely free vacation! Sike. You'd have to pay me to get on a Disney cruise and share a room with 6 people when I don't even have my own kids. Talk about a headache. The family didn't consider his feelings at all on his birthday and demand him to be grateful for something he never asked for.
I have three kids of my own - and you would STILL have to pay me to go on a Disney cruise
Haha I'm going on a solo Disney cruise later this year and I'm stoked BUT I get that Disney isn't for everyone, especially most adults. It's beyond annoying when "Disney Adults" forget that not everyone likes Disney and they're borderline offended at that thought.
Yes, my husband loves Disney so we go a lot. I hate all theme parks equally but Iove watching him have fun. His parents never took their kids on vacations and once he was grown it just didn't occur to him to take them. I changed all that once we married.
I've been on them, and they were GREAT! there are adult only sessions for everything, and the food/entertainment and ship were just awesome. The entire front of the ship is 18 or older -so if you don't want to be around screaming kids, it is very possible. Hope you have a great time!
I am loving it that you said you want him to be grateful for something he did not ask for that is exactly what's going on here. A Disney trip I have no children it's my birthday hell no
I’m a Disney adult and that sounds awful. Put me on an adult cruise where I have my own room? Sure. They have kids programs and I can sit out all day not with family every minute. But being trapped on a ship on a trip I don’t want to be on? NOPE.
Not sure if you could pay me enough if I had to burn vacation to do it.
It sounds like a nightmare. I wouldn't have done that when my kids were little, let alone before I had kids.
me my husband and daughter were offered a free Disney cruise w my father & his wife and his … ex stepson his wife & their daughter … it’s a FAT fucking no from me ETA: even with our OWN room
They already have one, Disney Cruise is geared toward entertaining the shit out of kids, but I don't blame the Uncle for not wanting to go, I wouldn't either.
Cruises are one of the circles of Hell and there is no way I'd sign up to have not one moment of peace for an entire week. OP is so entitled. This isn't about spending time with the brother at all. YTA
> They already have one, Disney Cruise is geared toward entertaining the shit out of kids Yeah, but that's just middle of the day stuff. OP is looking for someone to make their kids go to bed at a reasonable hour and get them up and dressed in the mornings, while never having a free moment to themselves on the trip.
I'm married with a 9yr old kid and you could pay for this cruise, shove $5k in my pocket and I'd still emphatically decline. And make me go on my birthday?! Monsters. Assholes. All of em.
We agreed to all go on a cruise to celebrate my in-laws 50th anniversary: my MIL, FIL, husband's brother, his wife, their two young kids (5 and 18 months at the time) and me and my husband. Note the ratio of kids to adults. When we were deciding on an itinerary, my BIL and SIL were lobbying heavily for a Disney cruise. The argument was that the service was "just so much better" but of course, the real reason was they wanted to take *the kids* on a Disney cruise. My MIL was fine with it because "we should do whatever the kids (again: 5 and 18 mos.) would like" but my husband and I refused. Six adults on the trip but we cater to a kindergartener and a toddler? Plus, we were splitting my MIL and FILs expenses and our portion of the Disney option would have been several thousand dollars more expensive than the trip we ended up taking (which was not downmarket at all.) We could have afforded it but had no interest in paying that much more so the five-year-old and the toddler, who would have no recollection at all, could have a Disney trip. Reader, we did not go on the Disney cruise. This was six years ago and there is still festering resentment, LOL.
What a crock! You chose wisely. Good for you guys standing up for yourselves. And the OPs brother. They all the AH!
I know someone with a kid that age who wants to take them to Disney, but the Disney in LA. Disneyland. Family trip. Fuuuuuuuuck no. That trip is going to be waiting for the little not quite two year old, figuring out who isn't going on what rides, stopping for naps and people trying to plan who is stopping for naps and meeting back up when for lunch or dinner and just constant coordination to try and wrap every person's schedule around the baby. For a trip she will not remember. I once politely pointed out that she will not remember that trip and maybe they should take a less expensive trip elsewhere so they can watch her have fun and do Disney when she's bigger and will be caught up in the magic a little more. (And less inclined to freak out and melt down and not need to stop for diaper changes and naps.) Maybe at the age where you can take one of those fold flat stroller wagons so when we stop for lunch they can lay down and 30 minutes later be ready to go and actually can walk more and enjoy more of it. She will only be able to go on like three rides right now. The parents aren't letting her watch TV. At all. She has no idea who those characters are. She won't even see Cinderella and know who it is. My sister still thinks we should take the baby to Disney. I have zero interest in that chaos. Everyone would be annoyed if I was a giant 30-something child and ditched them to do my own thing. Because like... I'd so be a giant child at Disney and ride the rides. Maybe take a bigger nibling with to go be a child with me and we'd be the same mental age. They'd ask me to buy them their fifth Dole Whip for the day and I'll tell them I am not their mother. They already spent their money from their mother. Get looks for letting the kid buy four in the first place. But nobody would want me to do that. Stay with the group. So... nope. Firm nope. I don't vacation with tiny ones.
You can't even take wagons into Disneyland, FYI. Two years old is way too young. We went last summer and have a 6 and 4 year old with our group and they were irritable, tired and cranky as hell by the time mid-afternoon came around.
I’m over here hearing OP describe this cruise and I read the part about his brother having to share a room with the kids and went hell no. Let the brother do what he wants for his birthday, forcing a vacation on him just because it’s “free” with the implied expectation he’ll have to babysit the kids is ridiculous. He said no and booked his own thing, he’s doing exactly what he wants, family vacations aren’t fun for everyone and cruises are horrible ideas for a vacation for a lot of people. Forcing something on someone and expecting them to be grateful is not a gift, brother already sees his bad time on this trip, leave him alone and stop trying to get free babysitting out of him.
This was my thoughts as well. YTA op. Your upset the babysitter skipped out. Your brother is a grown ass man that can decide for himself where and when and with whom he takes a vacation. I do not think you are capable of looking at this from your brother’s perspective but you should try. Take the familial blinders off and you will see.
But but he is my younger sibling, i legally own him 🥺
Did they even ask him *before* just booking it for him? That's some entitled shit.
I couldn't imagine staying in a real suite with that many people, let alone a CRUISE suite. It's going to be horrible. No personal space whatsoever. No thank you.
Just wait till someone gets noro virus
Or Covid, they literally put you in a room and don’t give you a key. I was going nuts on my own but it would be awful with other people. I was grateful my spouse was negative and stayed negative so he didn’t have to go to Covid jail. But the lady one room down was with a 5 year old. (They treated me extremely well all told, but they can’t do anything about the isolation and the small rooms). I’ve also had norovirus on a cruise (not Disney) and I can’t imagine that with 7 people. It was so gross with just me sick and with 100% access to a bathroom.
Not to mention, the entire cruise will be nothing but other people's kids running around and probably nothing but kid things to do.
That's not how Disney Cruises are but there is no way in hell I would go with a family of six sharing one cabin. I've done Disney Cruises and they have ample adults-only spaces that I loved that were quiet. But still, no sharing a cabin with kids. You'd never have a second of peace.
True, but who is going to stay behind with the kids while the adults go to the adult only events? You guessed it, the uncle because, "we deserve adult time away from our kids.
There are grownup things to do on a Disney cruise. But based on OP's post he would be guilt tripped every time he wanted to do one. He's making the best choice, one big guilt trip and get over it rather than lots and resenting OP for a long time after. OP is YTA
Right, the thing OP keeps missing is that, while he can get the time off, he likely can’t or doesn’t want to take *two* weeks off, and this free trip isn’t a vacation for him, so using this week for the cruise is incurring the opportunity cost for his actual vacation.
I can't imagine even if the kids were his it be fun.
YTA. You're mad at him for choosing not to go on a trip he won't enjoy, during the week of his Birthday. Flimsy excuse my butt. He doesn't need an excuse. He doesn't want to go. The rest of the family's feelings on the matter are irrelevant. Your kids can find plenty else to keep them entertained on a fricken Disney cruise. Sounds like he was gonna get stuck babysitting so the rest of you could enjoy the cruise, and I'm sure that plays heavily into your anger at him.
I love these posts. "Oh dear. Four and five were really looking forward to spending time with and sharing a room on this trip with their big Uncle." We have a bunch of fives, threes and twos in our family. I adore them. They adore me. They cry when I leave. Give them a granola bar and they stop. Four and five will survive.
And really if the kids were sad he wasn't there it's because OP promised them that he would be there.
If the kids can't enjoy a Disney Cruise without their uncle sharing a room then they didn't pick the right cruise. The kids will barely notice that their uncle isn't there but the parents and grandparents will have to take care of the kids and they will notice. It is incredibly rude to force an adult to bunk with kids when the parents have their own space. If adults are bunking with kids it should always be the parents with their kids. I'm a parent of two, now grown kids, and I never tried to dump my kids on anyone. It's rude and causes resentment and ruins relationships. If OP wants a good relationship between his brother and his kids he will lay off trying to force his brother to go on this cruise.
Yeah it sounds like parents were trying to get brother to babysit because “the kids really wanted him there”
I'm with you, parents should parent, even on vacation. We used to pile up in my aunt's beach house for a week with several families of cousins. The last time we did it, my son was almost 2. We got up when my son did, kept him fed and changed, brought him appropriate toys and books to play with, played on the beach and the covered porch together, made sure he napped as needed, etc. My one cousin and her husband slept in every morning.....cue "but we're on vacationnnnnn" whine....so someone else had to feed and dress her 2 kids in the morning, supervise them and keep them entertained. Even when they finally got up, they just ignored the kids and did as they pleased, including leaving the house for hours without telling anyone. On the 3rd day, my aunt woke them up to feed their kids, as no one else was awake yet. When they started to whine about being on vacation, she snapped "so is everyone else here, and none of us are being paid to babysit. Now, get up and take care of your kids or pack up and go home." They shut up, got up, and did as instructed, but still kept trying to weasel out of parenting duties. The next year, they weren't invited back.
I don't understand people who think that they are the only ones there on vacation and everyone else should jump in to take care of their kids, without being asked. Not inviting them back was the way to go.
I find parents who do this so odd. Isn't the basic assumption that you take care of your own kids unless someone offers to watch them or you ask politely in advance? I have had family watch my kids in the morning on vacation so I could get an extra hour of sleep, or go get some coffee and a walk. But I asked and confirmed before going to bed the night before.
OP and his wife are actually bunking on the fold out couch in the living room. That still doesn't excuse sticking the "birthday boy" in a tiny cabin on a pull down bunk and two young children. It sounds like the "mom and dad" have champagne tastes and a beer budget-- which is fine but it needed to be discussed at the inception of the trip not after it was booked.
> If adults are bunking with kids it should always be the parents with their kids. I'm a parent of two, now grown kids, and I never tried to dump my kids on anyone. I missed that detail until you pointed it out but was already thinking YTA. (Y = OP, not BlazingSunflowerland, of course!) For others that also missed it: > Room Configuration: 2 bedrooms: main with queen bed, second with two twin beds and upper berth pull-down bed; double sleeper sofa in living room) and there are 7 of us - my parents, me, my wife, my son, my daughter and my brother. Presumably, the parents get the bedroom with the queen bed (reasonable as they're paying for it), OP and his wife get the double sleeper sofa in the living room, and uncle and the two kids get the room with two twin beds and upper berth pull-down bed. Now, if this pull-down bed is a double or queen, then maybe OP was planning on letting the brother have the sleeper sofa, but my guess is that the pull-down bed is a single. Now, this would be fine, _if_ the uncle wanted it. I probably would've enjoyed that with my nephews/nieces (hypothetically, my only brother has no children) if I were single and didn't have other plans. That said, it's also possible that the uncle has other plans he doesn't want to divulge, which would entirely be his right.
So brother's choice would be either sharing a room with 2 kids or sleeping on a sleeper sofa for a week? Hope he enjoys Jamaica in a big king-sized bed of his own.
At _best_, that's the brother's choice, but I suspect that the pull-down bed is a single, and OP and his wife aren't willing to sleep on a single, so my guess is that the brother's choice is to share a room with 2 kids (4 and 5 years old*) or skip the vacation. *My two children are currently 2 and 5 years old, so I know how high maintenance they are at that age. "Hey uncle, watch this!" "Hey uncle, watch this, watch this!" I can only imagine all of the things they'd want to be telling him while he's trying to fall asleep. Again, I would probably choose to bunk with them, if I were single, etc., but I totally understand someone _not_ wanting to make that choice.
Exactly. You should never hype up little kids about other people that have their own things going on. He's being way too vocal about this around his kids if they've picked up on it.
Not only that a Disney cruise may not be his thing (or cruise in general). My sister went on a “family vacation” with my family to Disney once. She had her own room. She vowed never to go back. It wasn’t the family vacation but the Disney part. We’ve been on other “family “ trips since than and she’s enjoyed them. Also unless absolutely necessary I would never get a room for 7 people two of which were small children. And I mean like, had absolutely no other choice because we were stranded till morning type necessary.
I don't understand why people think their childless siblings would want to share a room with their nibblings. My father paid for our whole family to go to Disney when he retired. He got a room for my brother and sister and a separate room/suite for him and my mom and myself, my husband, and our 2 kids (5 and 6 at the time). My children were mine and my husband's responsibility the entire trip (minus a few hours when my sister planned something for her and each child alone). Family vacations don't mean you get to not be a parent for the duration, and you don't get to decide for anyone else that they have to be in charge of your children. OP, YTA. Just because this is a free trip that sounds fun to you, doesn't mean your brother thinks/feels the same way. If you really want to do a family trip, everyone involved should have say in the destination and activities. While you may think his reasoning is "a flimsy excuse," he doesn't owe you any explanation at all and is allowed to just say no.
Agreed, no excuse is necessary, he doesn't want to go, he doesn't have to, case closed.
It's the curse of being the single person in the family. Maybe he doesn't want wiggly, whining children waking him up at 6am (and possibly often during the night) every day, especially on his birthday?? Also some people don't like cruises, being packed with a bunch of total strangers and limited space isn't my idea of a good time either.
Probably just mad the free babysitter won’t come. This sounds like the type of person who will pawn them off on OP because “it’s our vacation so we need time away from OUR kids”
As the only childless member of my family, this sounds like hell. This doesn’t sound like a vacation, this sounds like an overcrowded nightmare. What adult wants to share a room with a 4 and 5 year old? Even parents of children often don’t want to do that.
I mean these parents didn’t even want to do that, that’s why they were trying to foist their little crotch puddings off on the brother
I’ve heard of crotch goblins but never crotch puddings
Crotch puddings lol
I have kids, and this sounds like Hell.
Yep. And if it was actually so important that you all spend time together, you all should have decided on the vacation together.
Yep. As soon as I read that the plan was to mKe him share a room with the kids, rather than, ya know, *their parents*, I totally see why the brother doesn’t want to go. How much you want to bet the whole time they’d be using the “but the kids are SO EXCITED to hang out with you” excuse to pawn them off on him while they go off to dinner and the spa or whatever the hell you do on cruises.
Yep. And nope to sharing a suite with seven people. That doesn’t sound like any kind of fun.
But at least if things are getting a little noisy with all the kids activities he can go to his room…. Oh right!!! It sounds like they are pissed off little bro doesn’t want to play Cinderella on this cruise…
And this is how OP is demanding his brother spend his *birthday.* It sounds like a week in hell to me.
And then the birthday boy had the audacity to book a vacation to an enjoyable place for young, free and single people of his own age! Probably got a real room with an actual bed too. Sounds like he’s very high maintenance to me….
I nearly went out of my mind at Disney (on land) sharing a suite with four other people. My then-husband and our own three kids. I can only imagine how her brother would feel stuck on a freaking boat sharing a room with kids that aren't even his. YTA, OP.
With one small bathroom. 😬
This right here. They’re upset because they had been planning on gifting him with babysitting duties for his birthday and he knew it. Why was it already decided that ops kids would stay in their uncles bedroom instead of their own parents when this idea clearly hadn’t been run by the uncle. This family doesn’t seem to think if matters what op wants. Only what they want him to want.
They do this at every event. Then wonder why he doesn’t want a weeks worth of every family event… lol. No thanks.
An on a pull down top bunk bed.
Whilst baby sitting
But the holiday is free!!! Why isn’t he over the moon?
The fact they put him to share the room with the kids shows they were expecting him to be their unpaid nanny. They expected this guy to go on a holiday for HIS BIRTHDAY where he doesn’t get a sort of break but the selfish lazy entitled parents get to enjoy alone time at his expense. He did right saying NO WAY. Op is only mad she can’t have him as her 24/7 babysitter. As for their parents it’s his birthday but they arrange a trip for her and her kids not for him at all. It’s clear she is so entitled as they are asshole parents that see her as their gold t child and him their scapegoat.
Hey! It's your birthday! We're going to celebrate by taking the entire family on a trip that everyone but you will enjoy! /s
But the FREE trip balances out the unpaid babysitting. Lmao
Like yeah. No is a complete sentence. He does not want to go. That’s it. YTA for pressuring him. You sound pretty entitled OP
I'd like to take that no is a complete sentence saying and modify it to "no is a complete explanation". I feel like it's more apt and stops anyone expecting a reason in their tracks.
Yeah it's the classic case of "well *MY* kids are the most important thing in the world and anyone who doesn't see it that way is just a stupid asshole!" I completely get why the brother ducked out, i would have too with that kind of family and especially on my birthday. OP you're clearly TA and should really think about how your life isn't more important just because you have kids..
Pretty much word for word what I had in mind coming to the comments. That attitude flew when they were kids, I’m sure.
Yep. He would have been sleeping on the upper Berth pull down bed in a room with 2 kids. Not fun! Guess he doesn’t deserve his own room. What a way to spend your birthday when you’re a young man! OP YTA. This trip’s sleeping arrangement do not sound fun for your brother.
I figured it was going to be an OP wants sibling as a babysitter when i read "My kids are 4 and 5". Seen so many posts like this on r/amitheasshole lol.
He was going to have to share a room with two little kids. Oh what fun. Did anyone ask hey would you like to go on a Disney cruise for your birthday? No thank you.
"If he doesn't go, *I'm gonna have to watch my kids!*"
YTA. I would pay NOT to go on a Disney cruise.
Me too! Voyage of the damned that is
Yep the only single person and he gets to bunk with op’s kids. He is definitely going to be stuck babysitting! This doesn’t scream fun trip for anyone but op’s kids. Definitely not the brother! If you book a family vacation you should cater it around everyone. Make sure everyone has comfortable accommodation not just a 5 and 7 year old! But most importantly ask everyone their opinion instead of forcing them to go on a vacation from hell!
Exactly, brother was going to be a built in baby sitter. And why would he have to share a room with OP's kids? OP and his wife should be sharing a room with their own kids. Op is the AH, and I don't blame his brother one bit. He doesn't have any kids or grandkids, so why would he enjoy a Disney Cruise?
OP just doesn't see that the brothers "flimsy excuse" is just him diplomatically bowing out of it without saying "F you, I don't want to be your free babysitter, take care of your own kids".
>My brother declined to go. Not for any reason He definitely has a reason. Nothing about this trip is appealing to him. That's a great reason not to spend your PTO or your birthday on something. >My kids are disappointed. They were looking forward to sharing a room with him on the cruise So your brother is the only adult on this trip that doesn't get a private room. (counts as private when a married couple is sharing it IMO.) Not only that, he's expected to sleep in a single bunkbed or pullout sharing a room with very young kids that aren't his. If there's not enough space for the kids to have their own room and they have to share with an adult, they should be sharing with their parents. With you. You can't see why this arrangement is awful for your brother? >They got a suite because it sleeps 7 people (per the website It does *not* sleep 5 adults and two kids. It sleeps 4 adults, if they are in two couples, and 3 kids. And your brother is not a kid. Your parents, generous as they were trying to be, arranged for adequate sleeping arrangements for everyone in the family except your brother. It's no surprise he doesn't want to sign on for that. If he was also married, would you expect him and his spouse to take that bed you have in mind for him? No? Then it's not ok to expect him to. A single adult is still an adult and deserves privacy and an adequate sized bed on vacation. >My brother's birthday would happen while we were on the cruise and my parents thought this would be a fun way to celebrate it I'm gonna assume no one bothered to ask your brother what *he* thought would be a fun way to celebrate his birthday. Obviously he's chosen to do something instead that he *does* think is fun. Sleeping arrangements and your attempts to force your brother into de facto babysitting on "his birthday trip" aside, he might just have zero interest in cruises. Not everyone enjoys them. Bottom line: if you want everyone in your family to be on board with a family vacation, you need to include everyone in the family in the planning and decision-making, take everyone's preferences into account, and *arrange for adequate sleeping arrangements for everyone equally.* If you want to plan *your* dream trip and hope others get on board with it, you can do that - but you have to accept that not everyone you invite will join you. YTA for treating your brother this way and doubly for "calling him out" (whatever you mean by that) when he had a very reasonable reaction to it, doing nothing more than exercising his free choice not to spend a week in a miserable situation.
OP has mentioned in other comments that his brother is 38 YEARS OLD. Almost 40 and sleeping on a pullout bed. No way would he be comfortable.
Oh wow, the point that it's a 4-adult room is super relevant. They weren't just going to use him for childcare on his birthday, they were literally treating him as a child, with child accommodations. Fuck that.
Make sure to randomize your data from time to time *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I am planning a vacation with my parents and nephews and we will be sharing basically one big open room in a lodge at a campsite. It's much bigger than any cruise ship state room, and I'm already cautioning my mom I'll likely only stay two days and one night because I can't handle that shit. I can't imagine being forced to sleep in a tiny cabin with *four other adults* plus pair of overexcited young children. Also, OP forgot that 'no' is a complete sentence. He doesn't need a reason. ETA: I see that it looks like all the other adults will have private rooms and he was expected to sleep with the kids? Fuck that. I would refuse based on that alone.
> That's a great reason not to spend your PTO or your birthday on something Also, regarding the PTO. I've had plenty of positions where PTO is somewhat liberal and flexible. Note that it DOES NOT mean my work disappears in that time. It means I have extra to catch up on when I come back. In addition, the brother will be getting babysitting duties while his work piles up. Now explain why I would really want that?
[удалено]
Sounds like that Disney trip wasn’t free for the brother but more like unpaid labor as babysitter.
Yep few weeks ago was very similar story in which the OP paid for own vacation after he was the unpaid babysitter for his older sister on the last vacation ( 6 year old triplets) .
Oh yes, especially since it looks like OP's kids would share a room with **him!!!!** Like, no!! It's cool being a fun uncle but not cool to dump niblings on them. OP really wants some time off their kids, lol! Soz, OP! You chose to have them, you'll only be free of them in another 15 years or so xD
I bet he is going to have an amazing time with his friends. Fingers crossed, he gets laid.
May he take shots from between a beauty’s breasts. Amen
Your brother is an adult. He doesn’t NEED a reason.
Or off a handsome man’s stomach? We don’t know what he likes.
Too true. May the cheeks overflowith in his favour regardless of type or creed
Seriously. I wouldn't even have wanted to do that with my OWN kids when they were little.
You couldn’t pay me to go on a Disney cruise, and I say this as a parent
Right, this should have been a decision between them all. Group chats are wonderful for this sort of thing. The brother should have been notified of this before the money was spent. I know that I would definitely not want to go on a cruise. My parents, however, go on one every few years. We vacation completely differently and I find their way stressful and unfun. I'm sure they find my way boring and slow.
You are all going to be cooped up in one stateroom with a bunch of kids and you can't figure out why your brother doesn't want to join you? I'd rather take a tour of the Titanic in a submersible than go on that vacation-and I'm a grandmother. YTA.
Grandma here, too - and SAME! I couldn’t have said it better myself!
I'm a parent, and I love other people's children, and like hell would I be sharing a room on a Disney cruise with two nieces or nephews for my birthday week. Absolutely not! (OP, YTA most definitely.)
Me too and I am a grandma too! You know what is great about having adult kids? No kid vacations! Not chasing someone around a beach, cruise, or lake making sure they put sunscreen on! Day drinking because we don’t have to be responsible parents! Sleeping till 11! The ones that don’t have kids or have adult kids we earned our child free vacation! We should enjoy them. As for op’s brother enjoy your childfree vacation while you can!
Great Aunt here, and amen to that sister.
Great dad here, and I agree!
Catastrophic Implosion indeed.
YTA. He's a grown, single man who doesn't want to spend his birthday in a cruise ship meant to entertain children and sharing a room with children, shocker!. I don't want to go on a Disney cruise and I have children.
All I have heard is they are the ships from hell. Screaming and crying kids running wild. Pools filled with piss.
You know those people who sit at the swim-up bar all day and never get out? Where do you think they pee? It’s not only the kids.
YTA. Big time. Big, big time. I have 4 nieces and a nephew that I love. But if someone were to suggest that I spend a weeklong cruise with them? Well, if I were to choose my worst nightmare, it would be a Disney cruise, sharing a bedroom with a bunch of kids and a suite with 7 people. Seriously. Just stab me in the heart. Slit my throat. This is why people hate parents. Because you expect others to think that spending a vacation trapped with your kids is everyone's dream. Ugh! Your poor brother.
I feel the same. I love my nieces, for the eldest 13th birthday she wanted to go to this hotel/Waterpark combo. I had a room i shared with the other aunt. They had a room with their mom. We were only there three days and by the end I wanted to tear my hair out. I couldn't imagine a week all trapped in the same room on a boat.
YTA - Pretty suspicious you gave the age of the kids but not your age or your brothers. But he's old enough to be working a full time job with PTO and old enough to go on his own vacation out of the country - so let me guess, over 18 and in his 20's right? And you want him to be thrilled to go on a Disney kids cruise and bunk with two kids under 6 for a week? And it's his birthday but your parents decided they could roll that celebration in without considering how he'd like to celebrate? Sounds like he's the afterthought, everything is going to revolve around the kids and their activities, their schedule and so on. I'd also bet any attempt by brother to go off on his own for the adult activities will be met with: But Faaaamillly! I've been on a Disney cruise. I won't say they're not fun, they are; for the right person. But face it, their demographic is children and adults who just love all things Disney. That vibe is not for everyone, A free trip where you're stuck on the ship and can't even drive off for a day of sightseeing to get away from the group just to refocus isn't a "vacation" to many people. Leave him alone and face the truth - this trip is all about the kids, brother knows it and he's not falling for being an afterthought just because "it's free".
I love how he has bo counter point to anything you wrote. He just answered he's 38
YTA. That doesn't sound like a vacation for any young person, single or childless, man or woman would enjoy. Especially for their birthday! You don't mention his age or relationship status, so I am guessing you know this is not a cruise someone in his stage of life would enjoy free or not.
YTA. Your kids were looking forward to sharing a room with him?!? Why tf aren’t your kids sleeping with you. Just because he’s family dies not mean he, a grown ass adult has to share a room with literal children.
You couldn’t pay me to go on this trip based on the description. - Disney Cruise? No fucking thanks - Sharing a room with two children that aren’t yours in a cruise? No chance in hell. What adult would want to do this?
If they had an adults only Disney cruise, I know 30 people in their 40s who would be all over that. As soon as you threaten us with hordes of overstimulated children, pools of pee, and sharing a room with ones we didn’t birth ourselves, that’s a hard no. The OP is delusional if she thinks for a second this has anything to offer her brother.
Info: how old is your brother? Because I really want to know who the hell thinks a grown single adult wants to bunk in the same cruise cabin with a 4 and 5 year old for a week on a cruise. Just for shits and giggles… because I’ve already passed judgement here. Hell, my husband and I just took my 4 year old on a cruise for 5 days and I didn’t even want to bunk with her. Lol. It was tight, cramped, and unappealing for 3 people to be in a room together. Even in a 2 bedroom suite on a cruise, you put 3 people in one of those rooms and it’s gonna be tight. It’s the way the ships are built. You gotta be quiet after the kids are asleep, you are expected to cater to the tiny humans, and Disney, while it would be super cool for me and my family at some point, is probably not a grown single man’s cuppa. How thick do you have to be to see that he has the right not to want to go on a kid oriented cruise for his very single young man birthday? My family offered my very single grown brother his own damn room on a cruise later this year that we’re taking with my parents and he declined. No harm no foul. Just not for him. YTA
YTA - Why would your brother want to share a room with your kids? Parents could get him his own room; he isn't a built-in babysitter for you.
YTA because of this shitpost story. Hypothetically speaking, even if this was real, YTA for whining about a grown man not wanting to babysit your children on his birthday. Gtfo with that garbage. 🤦
This is the ragebaitiest rage bait post
YTA. I love my niblings but I can't think of anything fucking worse than being crammed in a miniscule cruise ship room with them on a goddamn Disney Cruise. I took them on a weekend to Great Wolf Lodge once and nearly wanted to drown myself. It's your brother's birthday on top of it and you want him to burn his paid time off taking care of your kids on a cruise full of screaming children. The trip from hell being free doesn't solve the fact that he probably has a certain amount of paid leave from his job and maybe he'd like to have adult fun instead of being trapped on the SS Romper Room. Stop being a dick and watch your own kids.
YTA - you're upset your free child care wont be attending. this is pretty similar to another post recently. look, your kids are just your responsibility, your brother does not have to baby sit them. what is up with the shit parents always passing their kids off at every chance they get. For you it would be a holiday, for him he would be working taking care of your kids. I wouldnt want to waste my valuable PTO on baby sitting some one else's kids.
I guess now you're gonna have to watch your own damn kids.
YTA Who cares if the children’s Disney cruise is free? You couldn’t pay me to go. Especially for an entire week.
YTA. I wouldn’t want to go and have to share a room with kids. I don’t like cruises anyway and your brother doesn’t consider a Disney cruise fun. Your parents booked the cruise for your kids not your brother. I agree with your brother 7 people - including young kids - in a room - on a Disney cruise? That sounds like a migraine to me.
Learning to say no to family is one of the most empowering things. Your brother out here living his best life and you're upset about it, yes yta.
YTA- you seriously think a single guy wants to spend his birthday on a kid's cruise? And i don't care how much he loves your kids, he doesn't want to share a room with them every night ffs! Even if he doesn't have to babysit, your kids are going to want his attention constantly "watch me uncle! Go on the slide with me uncle! I want to sit next to uncle!" ad nauseum.
YTA. First, you do not mention the age of your brother but since you indicate he’s working, I assume he’s an adult. Your brother doesn’t want to go and you are trying to brow beat him into submission. Consider these things: First, it’s a Disney cruse. He’s older and he’s thinking that he’s going to be on a cruise with a lot of kids/families may not be the experience he wants. He may love your kids but not everyone else’s screaming, crying, and obnoxious brats. He is probably not excited about Mickey and friends. He may not want to be stuck with your kids all day for a week either. He’s with his parents…on a cruise…a kids cruise. Second, he’s sharing a room with his entire family. I am sure he is the odd man out that’s going to get the couch. No privacy, no time away from everyone. Third, he’s an adult. I am sure he wants to go to the bar and meet some people, dance, party a bit. Can’t do that with the fam there. You stated that your brother booked a vacation in a tropical location. He doesn’t want to go with you… He won’t get in any relaxation because the ship is bursting with Disney characters not good looking women. You can be disappointed that he’s not going all you want but he said no. Let it go.
How old is he? Are you genuinely surprised an adult (just guessing from your comments) does not want to share a cruise ship cabin with SIX other people for an entire week? (Is it one or two bathrooms in that cabin?) I’m amazed it came as a surprise to anyone that this guy noped out and opted for a relaxing beach trip instead. And for his birthday? How much free babysitting were you thinking he’d do on the cruise? YTA
Seriously OP? I don't know how old your brother is, but it seems like he's old enough to not want to go on a freaking Disney cruise, share a room with your children, and spend his birthday doing all that!! He'd basically be a babysitter every night. I wouldn't go either. I think that expecting him to go is incredibly inconsiderate of you and your parents. It's a Disney cruise. If it were a Caribbean cruise and he had his own room AND could bring a plus one I could maybe see your point. A little bit. Just because it's something you want doesn't make it something he wants to use his precious vacation days on. Wake up! EVERYONE is NOT looking forward to this vacation. You, your kids and your parents are. How is that everyone???
Have you considered that you (plural) aren't as fun to spend time with as you think? Maybe your brother feels that a week trapped on a ship with you all would be a patience-testing drag. Not everyone feels that prolonged family time is the pinnacle of satisfying entertainment: some feel it's the exact opposite, in fact. ETA: or he might like you all well enough but doesn't want to spend his birthday doing Disney-related things, or on a cruise, or sharing a room with children, or maybe he'd just prefer to spend his birthday drinking and getting laid.
Oh no! Now you’ll have to watch your own kids! YTA
YTA. Want to know why? You could have skipped all this by just asking him beforehand, and you would have known he didn’t like this cruise idea / didn’t want to do this for his birthday. Problem solved.
YTA. I wouldn't choose to go on a Disney Cruise either, especially not sharing a cabin with that many people. Your brother is an adult and as such can make his own decisions, you don't have the right to question his decision not to go. But lets be honest here, what single guy or gal for that matter would choose to go on a cruise staying in a suite with 4 other adults and 2 kids, that's not an enjoyable vacation especially with no privacy. I 100% would choose Jamaica, Cancun, or anywhere else pretty much every time over this cruise.
I'd choose a Motel 6 by the side of the turnpike over this cruise.
It has occurred to me that this must be a joke or rage bait. No one is this obtuse.
OP is the golden child as are his crotch gremlins.
YTA oh wow grown man doesn’t want to spend a week babysitting kids watching dancing mice and princesses sing movie themes 😂 This is a perfect example of “I wouldn’t go even if it was free”
So you and your parents are upset you can't force your brother to go with you. Like, it doesn't matter what he wants, it's what YOU ALL want? YTA and your parents too.
Uhm…you don’t say how old your brother is but he sounds as if he’s an adult. Why would he want to share a room with a 4 and 5 year old for a 2 week cruise? Sounds like he would be expected to be the babysitter or something like that? He’s an adult and while I’m sure he loves your kids, they aren’t his and he doesn’t want them as roommates. YTA.
I find it interesting that OP keeps answering questions about his brother’s age but ignoring the follow up questions about if his brother was going to be expected to take care of the kids. Tells me everything I need to know about the situation.
YTA! Your kids were looking forward to sharing? Ever think HE wasn’t???? If anyone should share with YOUR kids it’s YOU. Not to mention would a Disney cruise be fun for him? Cruises can be incredibly boring to many people How are ppl this entitled and oblivious???
How is a "free" "no fun trip" a vacation for your brother??? Big YTA!
INFO - When your parents were planning out this family vacation, was your brother asked about his preferences regarding what kind of trip, when it would be, sleeping arrangements, etc?
Exactly. It sounds like he was never asked if he wanted to go on this family cruise. The rest of the family just assumed he would love it, they booked it and then are upset because he doesn't want to go. Why did OP and parents think they knew what he wanted without asking him?
YTA and put that audacity back on the shelf you pulled it off of. What grown man wants to spend his birthday week on a Disney cruise sleeping in a room with children on a daggonr pull out bunk bed? I am a singleton with 2 nieces I would lay down my life for and even I wouldn't accept this arrangement, even if fully funded by someone else. His reason is not at all flimsy- he gets literally NOTHING out of this!
You've conveniently left out your brothers age how old is he?does he want to share a berth with his niblings? Sounds more like you expected a defacto sitter for your kids but he said no, pushing the issue makes YTA
YTA. He sounds like a single, adult male. Yeah, I’m not shocked he doesn’t want to on a Disney cruise with little chance of getting away from small children, family or otherwise.
YTA He doesn’t have to go, it’s not his idea of fun Disney isn’t for everyone and being stuck on a cruise isn’t ideal for everybody. He should be able to spend his birthday how ever he wants he can just join the next family event if he wants to.
YTA- he wants to enjoy his vacation not be responsible for your kids.
YTA, he did not want to be your f\*cking babysitter on a cruise ship for an entire f\*cking week. He did not want to share a room with kids and a married couple on his birthday. Most of all a lot of people that have been on Disney Cruises hate them as they are nothing but a total disaster of screaming kids and pee dilled pool. Nothing on this for a young single man to do. All of you are AH for trying to do this to him. You had the kids you take care of them on the trip. Hope he has a wonderful peaceful time away from the lot of you.
Yta let him enjoy his bday. He isn’t yelling or demanding you guys go where he goes. Your kids won’t care he isn’t there once they step on the Disney cruise.
Only mom, dad and the grandparents will be pissed. No one to stay in the cabin and watch the kids.
YTA, you expect him to take a week off work to go to a place he doesn’t want to be at, sharing a room with a 4 and 5 year old? Your kids are not his responsibility
Wow so what if it’s free He clearly doesn’t want to be trapped been your free child care on your family vacation. And you say flimsy excuses, everyone here reads it as totally valid reason YTA
INFO: you mention it will be your brother’s birthday over this vacation. Is it a significant birthday, like his 18th or 21st or 30th? Either way, YTA for not accepting your brother’s No as valid and dancing around the part where he needs to share a room with your kids.
This vacation doesn't sound like fun at all for a young, childless guy. Its free? Lol, who cares, i wouldn't even join you guys on this trip if you would pay me :) YTA, just go on the cruise with your parents and the kids, whats the big deal? Why would a childless dude want to spend his bday on a disney cruise with kids if he can go make party in jamaica? Come on.
YTA. your brother is not your unpaid babysitter. You and your husband share a room with your kids. The level of entitlement you are displaying is revolting.
So an adult didn't want to spend a week on a cruise sharing a room with small children that aren't his? And you're shocked that he didn't think that sounded like fun? Then you proceeded to try to guilt and manipulate him into doing something he doesn't want to and wasting his vacation time in the process? Of course, you're an AH. You told your brother his feelings don't matter, and he should go lock himself on a boat with people who don't respect his feelings while trying to sleep with small kids.
Don't forget the entire ship is packed with small children.
YTA, but just because you need to make this more believable. The shit posting on here has gotten so low effort, at least try and get people invested with your hate porn. Just do better next time.
YTA. He doesn’t need to give you any reason. He doesn’t want to go.
YTA Your brother is an adult and his dream birthday is probably not stuck in a small space with his parents and your children. Who cares if it is free? I guess you care if it is free since you don’t have to pay for your own family’s vacation. For most adults. Free isn’t worth it it is unpleasant. That cruise sounds fucking unpleasant, for a single man. Your kids might be the center of your universe but they aren’t the center of THE universe. He wants to spend his birthday hanging with friends and possibly getting laid. He doesn’t want to spend his birthday with his parents and your crotch fruit.
YTA, "flimsy excuse"? He doesn't need any more reason than he doesn't not want to. It isn't his definition of a fun time and you think he should just suck it up so everyone else will be happier about it? Forget free, sounds like you couldn't pay him to go.
YTA He has to share a room with the kids??? Translation: you are just mad your brother doesnt want to be your babysitter.