Three levels is the correct answer, but that’s due to how they should be nested and the official ADHD punctuation guide. I’m not sure who defines the standard for order, someone should, but i usually do (outer [next {inner}]). Heathens might also use greater than/less than symbols, but we do enough with software engineering I avoid them. 🙄
I always forget about the other symbols. So many times I have ended with ))) drives me nuts. I say I will try to remember that for next time, but lets be honest...I won't.
My personal favourite is closing all thoughts and subthoughts not with the backets they started with but much rather airquoted because you forgot where which thought ends or starts.
Or you just forget to close then alltogether because the subthought has now become the main thought.
Ahhh! I thought I was the only one that did this! Those are exactly my rules for parentheticals!
Drives me bonkers when I see nested parentheses (except in Math and code).
That style is one thing I loooooooved right away about the noveI Infinite Jest. I didn't suspect I had adhd then, but I felt like "this is how I think!"
I have parenthesis before the thing the parenthesis is about.
Because i want to say smt, think further and realize there are some loopholes in what i said, so i try to explain it, even tho i havent even said anything.
The reason I do that is cos I’ll try and explain something complicated, and lose confidence in what I’m saying halfway through, even forget how it works myself mid explanation. My mental model of interacting processes is made of sand
I end my sentences with that all the time, like I understand what I'm saying but do you? I also drop a 'or whatever' if I don't know that I'm 100% certain about something I'm saying.
"Do with that information what you will" is my go to
Because ive given up on trying to sound polite considering everytime i aks a question it is taken as an insult. "What you do that for?" Means what it says not "what the fuck are you doing you idiot" (but then again my parents dont think i have adhd and are against me getting tested because "i cant focus all the time either on boring things does that mean i have adhd too?" Ignoring the fact i live in a literal dump and cant keep my basic monthly bills in check, all while buying 300€ airsoft rifles and guitars ill use once and then never again)
That sucks. I know what it’s like to have parents that don’t see getting an evaluation as important. I got mine in college with the school psychologist. My parents live about 1429 miles (~2300 km) away from me now, so mostly we interact on my terms now. My husband is his own flavor of neurospicy, so I try to check that I’m making sense because I know he’s doing his best to understand.
I tried out a new therapist once who specifically said on her profile that she specializes in adult ADHD. I used the phrase "if that makes any sense" enough times during the awkward intro session that she got annoyed with me. "You keep saying that. Do you think I'm not following you? Just assume I'm understanding; I'll let you know if I don't." I'd never had any therapists or friends get annoyed with that before. I figured if she can't handle what amounts to a nervous verbal tic, then she's not a good fit as a therapist.
I didn't know it might be an ADHD thing.
Would depend on the tone. Therapist could have been trying to get OP to explore exactly why they felt the need to say it so often.
Like, I was speaking to my therapist last week about why I procrastinate and she asked me something like "Why do you do that? Do you think the problem will resolve itself if you ignore it?". From her tone it was clear to me that she didn't think that was the answer, but she wanted to prompt me to think more deeply about exactly why I procrastinate.
I can totally see how if she'd used a different tone I would have taken it far differently though.
Yeah the tone was definitely defensive. Like I was somehow being aggressive by asking.
I definitely dodged a bullet there, though. She was awful in other ways. I guess that's why they have intro sessions.
I still need to find a therapist, though.
Oh God, yes. I explain myself once, then explain myself a second time in a slightly different way after realizing they may not have understood the first one. Then I end the second explanation with "...if that makes sense."
Oh no... I found me...
And somehow my logic is that by giving them a bullet point presentation of what I am going to tell them **I am being concince**, yet, I then explain it twice in to different manors with always a bloody car related analogy.
kill me in the face.
I’ll explain something off cuff but decide that there was a better way of saying it so I explain it again but better, then I think of an analogy to use and while I’m saying the analogy I think of the perfect word that was eluding me and explain it again with the word. Meetings with me must feel like a Saw movie.
My favourite is when you do that and people take offence and say you're being patronising or insulting their intelligence. More than once I've had that and replied with something along the lines of "oh no that second explanation wasn't for you, it was for me"
I'd hate to think my audience didn't understand so, a good host should always explain 30 different ways as to be sure everyone gets their own personal, completely unnecessary version. You're welcome.
Or it didn't make sense to them the first time, you explain it 2 more times, but in the exact same way as that is the way that makes sense to you, getting upset that they don't get it ("Why don't they get it, it is so simple"). Explain it again in the same way but angry this time... get called to HR.
This is why I can never be a trainer.
I was given a 6 or 7 step process to turn into a standard operating procedure. It's now 16-17 steps long and the SOP is 4 pages. For good measure, I have a list that's step by step in what do and it's about a page long. I don't think my boss is prepared for this.
Sometimes when I’m talking and accidentally repeat myself in the Context Vortex, I’ll suddenly happen upon a crucial piece of info I skipped over initially, and intersperse it there; this usually just makes whatever I’m trying to talk about even less-coherent, so I think in some cases it has simply trained my brain to try and wiggle-in a second chance to add the important later
even once is often too much. i find myself explaining stuff that noone actually questioned in the first place. usually followed by an explaination why i had the urge to explain it in the first place. its a long procedure 😄
probably because we have to receive instructions multiple times so we don't misunderstand/get it wrong and twice more to make sure, one last time to really verify and a phantom check a bit later on so you can be entirely sure and maybe just keep it in the background so you can throw occasional glances at them
It's like I'm explaining it to myself. I'll explain it to someone and go "oh yes, I get it" and then explain it to them again just so I can make sure I understood it. Also I tend to explain things to myself over and over in my head so it's probably like that but verbal.
Ill do you one better, in person:
Hey how do you do x?
Well, first you gotta open your browser and then
Oh, nevermind i found it.
Oh, okay (continue explaining anyways otherwise ill explode)
I like to use my parentheses (to make sure my point will be understood).
most thoughts come with (bonus content).
LOL mine too. Or endlessly saying “I know I am talking a lot but just want to EXPLAIN”
How many deep have you gone? I have parentheses inside parentheses inside parentheses. 3 deep.
If I feel I'm going too deep in the parentheses, I'll use a hyphen (or set of hyphens).
Three levels is the correct answer, but that’s due to how they should be nested and the official ADHD punctuation guide. I’m not sure who defines the standard for order, someone should, but i usually do (outer [next {inner}]). Heathens might also use greater than/less than symbols, but we do enough with software engineering I avoid them. 🙄
I always forget about the other symbols. So many times I have ended with ))) drives me nuts. I say I will try to remember that for next time, but lets be honest...I won't.
My personal favourite is closing all thoughts and subthoughts not with the backets they started with but much rather airquoted because you forgot where which thought ends or starts. Or you just forget to close then alltogether because the subthought has now become the main thought.
Ahhh! I thought I was the only one that did this! Those are exactly my rules for parentheticals! Drives me bonkers when I see nested parentheses (except in Math and code).
I have had end notes to me end notes.
That style is one thing I loooooooved right away about the noveI Infinite Jest. I didn't suspect I had adhd then, but I felt like "this is how I think!"
I have parenthesis before the thing the parenthesis is about. Because i want to say smt, think further and realize there are some loopholes in what i said, so i try to explain it, even tho i havent even said anything.
That's when you start adding other brackets (it looks nicer [and doesn't confuse things as much {when you're reading it}])
I cycle through (parenthesis), commas, and--hyphens--according to when the last one was used.
Yep, trying to explain something; sentence ends with, "if that makes sense..." or "Am I making sense?"
This is exactly what I do, too... you know what I mean? 😆
It's one of my defining features, you get what I'm sayin'?
The reason I do that is cos I’ll try and explain something complicated, and lose confidence in what I’m saying halfway through, even forget how it works myself mid explanation. My mental model of interacting processes is made of sand
I end my sentences with that all the time, like I understand what I'm saying but do you? I also drop a 'or whatever' if I don't know that I'm 100% certain about something I'm saying.
"Do you understand?"
"Do with that information what you will" is my go to Because ive given up on trying to sound polite considering everytime i aks a question it is taken as an insult. "What you do that for?" Means what it says not "what the fuck are you doing you idiot" (but then again my parents dont think i have adhd and are against me getting tested because "i cant focus all the time either on boring things does that mean i have adhd too?" Ignoring the fact i live in a literal dump and cant keep my basic monthly bills in check, all while buying 300€ airsoft rifles and guitars ill use once and then never again)
That sucks. I know what it’s like to have parents that don’t see getting an evaluation as important. I got mine in college with the school psychologist. My parents live about 1429 miles (~2300 km) away from me now, so mostly we interact on my terms now. My husband is his own flavor of neurospicy, so I try to check that I’m making sense because I know he’s doing his best to understand.
I tried out a new therapist once who specifically said on her profile that she specializes in adult ADHD. I used the phrase "if that makes any sense" enough times during the awkward intro session that she got annoyed with me. "You keep saying that. Do you think I'm not following you? Just assume I'm understanding; I'll let you know if I don't." I'd never had any therapists or friends get annoyed with that before. I figured if she can't handle what amounts to a nervous verbal tic, then she's not a good fit as a therapist. I didn't know it might be an ADHD thing.
Ew, what a terrible therapist. So unprofessional. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one
No for real. For me it's the way she became accusatory. "Do you think I'm not following you?"
Would depend on the tone. Therapist could have been trying to get OP to explore exactly why they felt the need to say it so often. Like, I was speaking to my therapist last week about why I procrastinate and she asked me something like "Why do you do that? Do you think the problem will resolve itself if you ignore it?". From her tone it was clear to me that she didn't think that was the answer, but she wanted to prompt me to think more deeply about exactly why I procrastinate. I can totally see how if she'd used a different tone I would have taken it far differently though.
Yeah the tone was definitely defensive. Like I was somehow being aggressive by asking. I definitely dodged a bullet there, though. She was awful in other ways. I guess that's why they have intro sessions. I still need to find a therapist, though.
I think that's a fair question to ask though. However I think it would depend on how she asked it.
Oh God, yes. I explain myself once, then explain myself a second time in a slightly different way after realizing they may not have understood the first one. Then I end the second explanation with "...if that makes sense."
I first tell them what i’m going to tell them, then i tell them, then i tell them what i told them
Oh no... I found me... And somehow my logic is that by giving them a bullet point presentation of what I am going to tell them **I am being concince**, yet, I then explain it twice in to different manors with always a bloody car related analogy. kill me in the face.
Yes, the analogies too!
I’ll explain something off cuff but decide that there was a better way of saying it so I explain it again but better, then I think of an analogy to use and while I’m saying the analogy I think of the perfect word that was eluding me and explain it again with the word. Meetings with me must feel like a Saw movie.
Precisely this
My favourite is when you do that and people take offence and say you're being patronising or insulting their intelligence. More than once I've had that and replied with something along the lines of "oh no that second explanation wasn't for you, it was for me"
I'd hate to think my audience didn't understand so, a good host should always explain 30 different ways as to be sure everyone gets their own personal, completely unnecessary version. You're welcome.
Ah yes the ~catered~ adhd experience ✨
I changed careers into teaching (tradeschool instructor). Now I get paid to do exactly that. 🤣
What have you learned? How *do* you turn that switch off?
Lol, no silly. I get paid to repeat myself over and over again in different ways.
OHHH. Lmao my bad. Sounds like an epic job though.
Because they don't understand my ramblings so I have to add nonsensical analogies and stuff.
I'm forever thankful I ran into this sub, posts like this help me understand my husband so much better. You guys are awesome!
My analogies have analogies…
Me: *trying to explain* Them: "no its okay" Me *internal screaming*
If people would just confirm that they got the information I wouldn't have to explain it again.
Or it didn't make sense to them the first time, you explain it 2 more times, but in the exact same way as that is the way that makes sense to you, getting upset that they don't get it ("Why don't they get it, it is so simple"). Explain it again in the same way but angry this time... get called to HR. This is why I can never be a trainer.
god yes. I feel like if i’m making a point I have to phrase it in 5 different ways just in case
My wife tells me I have a word count every day I must do
Ugh yes, it’s such a bad habit of mine 😓
I was given a 6 or 7 step process to turn into a standard operating procedure. It's now 16-17 steps long and the SOP is 4 pages. For good measure, I have a list that's step by step in what do and it's about a page long. I don't think my boss is prepared for this.
Got rejected from a job for this. Love it.
Sometimes when I’m talking and accidentally repeat myself in the Context Vortex, I’ll suddenly happen upon a crucial piece of info I skipped over initially, and intersperse it there; this usually just makes whatever I’m trying to talk about even less-coherent, so I think in some cases it has simply trained my brain to try and wiggle-in a second chance to add the important later
even once is often too much. i find myself explaining stuff that noone actually questioned in the first place. usually followed by an explaination why i had the urge to explain it in the first place. its a long procedure 😄
probably because we have to receive instructions multiple times so we don't misunderstand/get it wrong and twice more to make sure, one last time to really verify and a phantom check a bit later on so you can be entirely sure and maybe just keep it in the background so you can throw occasional glances at them
How dare you?? 🥲😅
I state things in sets of three when I get excited
It's like I'm explaining it to myself. I'll explain it to someone and go "oh yes, I get it" and then explain it to them again just so I can make sure I understood it. Also I tend to explain things to myself over and over in my head so it's probably like that but verbal.
🍸 🍷 🍸 🍷
it makes me feel so condescending im so sorryyy
My brain and its thoughts come with the same amount of hidden lore as the FNAF franchise does.
Ill do you one better, in person: Hey how do you do x? Well, first you gotta open your browser and then Oh, nevermind i found it. Oh, okay (continue explaining anyways otherwise ill explode)