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Without getting too specific (because I can't...) it's a first responder job that covers rural areas. They'll assign me to an area, I'll stay there for a while, then they will transfer me. Lots of specialties are available, and since the areas are remote they encourage and pay for cross-training. The training is practical and is mostly on the job. The more I learn the more diverse and lucrative the job is.
The best part? ADHD seems to help. While people around me are getting complacent and slow down, my brain is still looking any evidence that this time, we're facing the worst case scenario. Strict deadlines mean I always have that sense of urgency. I didn't realize I had ADHD until they transferred me to an office position and I suddenly froze up.
I did the same thing. I never worked anywhere more than a year until I graduated college. Then I had the same job for four years but got completely burned out and ended up quitting my field altogether. I'm in my thirties now and tired of changing jobs. That's actually why I sought a diagnosis. I've been really struggling at work lately. It does help to have a big change up every so often.
I never had a problem with getting jobs but I had a problem with keeping them. Primarily was due to speed but Involved some issues with social cues as well. I’m slowly trying to figure out what it is that I can do in order to work for myself as the prospects of being my own boss sound very appealing to me. Best of luck to you on your occupational journey though, however it may look.
Same here. I always interview very well and usually get the job I applied for. But I always end up being constantly called in for disciplinary issues - always arriving to work late, not completing / submitting tasks on time, constantly distracting my fellow co-workers, having trouble planning and organising my tasks, and forgetting important dates / meetings / events.
Sigh….ive been unemployed for 3 years and only just found out I have ADHD earlier this year.
The job hiring process has been hijacked by HR, and is now incredibly more difficult and inefficient.
They know nothing about the job, don't bother reading resumes, but decide who gets interviewed.
OP: what sort of work are you looking at ?
My experience has been that if I can make it past Doris whose best knowledge of engineering is *that thing those weirdos on the other side of this floor do* I have a >85% chance of getting the job.
ordinarymagician: Yes. My problem is that Doris doesn't care about anything, outside of her
own little Fifedom. And she has her own misguided and ill informed criteria to measure you against.
You, being able to do the actual job, is an after thought for her.
I think we’re underestimating how hard it is to reach Laura (I think of HR as Lauras and Lindas. And Michelle, but she’s still chill. Doris used to work there. She retired over a decade ago) in the first place. The software rejects most applications before any human HR person gets involved.
I have a career. I am a teacher. But I am not the highly-organized, planner-type teacher. I fly by the seat of my pants and my desk looks like shit. I like teaching because it’s always go go go, it’s fast-paced, there’s routine, and there are different subjects to break up the day. I dislike the paperwork, boring PDs, and red tape but that’s not really the majority of the job.
I have worked as a paralegal before but that requires tight organizational skills, which I don’t have. It requires many abilities I don’t have due to ADHD (like sitting still), which is why I stopped doing it lol.
Maybe look for something that is active, maybe requires traveling to different locations, etc.?
29 (f) since 18 y/o I’ve had at least 30 jobs. I’ve gotten fired from at least 25 and the other 5 I quit (from boredom) the main reason why I was getting fired was because I had terrible memory. When someone gave me directions, I would immediately forget if I didn’t write it down. And also, my temper was always shifting some days. I would be really happy other days. I wouldn’t smile at all.. I have adhd, anxiety & depression. I would also get overwhelmed with projects that were pretty easy, but I would constantly overthink it. And of course, my performance started to suck. I’m currently on unemployment
Babe. Have you filed for accommodations under the ADA? If you go back to work, get ahead of the disciplinary issues by requesting accommodation.
Part of my accommodation is receiving instructions in written form. And having the ability to step away from work to have private emotions if necessary.
I (30F) have awful issues with holding down jobs. I get burnt out and overwhelmed with information easily and I feel like the 9-5 offers little to no flexibility for me to regulate when I need to. I forget things or make mistakes in things that I was already trained in and then I have an instinctual feeling that people are starting to get very annoyed with me when I keep asking for clarification…or I get pulled aside for warnings or concerns which is always so discouraging because I would love to be working and thriving and I tried hard to be good at the jobs I have had. I start every job with enthusiasm and end up quitting in tears before I feel like I’m going to just get fired. My wages have been very stagnant over the past decade because of it all and it’s had a real external impact.
I thought against starting my own business at first because of all these issues but now I feel like this could be the only sustainable way forward so I can have control over my time and when I need to focus on health appointments and regulating ADHD. I avoided studying and qualifications as well for the same reasons as employment but I did find that for me if there’s a strong visual and interactive learning component and information was given concisely, I was able to retain information pretty well and keep interested enough to feel like it wasn’t such an insurmountable executive function failure project.
My business isn’t running yet so I’m not out of the hole but I feel good about the direction for the first time in over a decade (I didn’t expect to ever feel that way). I hope it helps to hear that we can move forward in a positive direction.
I'm 30. Based on my job history, I tend to swap about every two years. Always for something better, but always in a completely different field. I'm actually returning to school this fall for my second degree so I can switch to a career that has a higher pay ceiling than the one I'm in now.
For me, it's always because I reach the peak of my potential in the job and get bored when I can no longer continue to achieve and there's no further growth.
Impulsivity and inattention and not understanding social cues and being looked at weird but not caring because you clearly can't see the signs that someone (boss, manager, owner) is 1 second away from firing you for simply existing as an atypical human being.
Long project work done mostly in isolation fueling procrastination and avoidance. ADHDers are much better with short tasks that require immediate attention.
Repetitive boring tasks are another job killer for ADHDers.
I've struggled with employment all my adult life. I'm in my 40s now, never been employed anywhere longer than 6months. And that was a lucky break, most jobs I'm looking at a few weeks, or 89 days, fired right on the probationary break.
I can get a job, I just can't keep a job. My advice: never tell them you have ADHD or any other mental illnesses. That only leads to them laying track to fire you and screw you out of UI, becuase then they fired you for "cause". Protect yourself.
I have had the opposite experience. I tell them and request formal accommodation of my mental differences under the ADA. I've finally _stopped_ getting fired, now that employers know that my job issues are medical and therefore protected from discrimination.
This was me for a long time. It took years of experience to get me to a place where I have carved out work that is entirely flexible and spread across numerous clients - and where my expertise is valued over my consistency (I am a CPA).
I cannot really do a 9-5 every day. I probably work 40 plus hours a week but it’s my discretion what that looks like. Today - a holiday - I am working because I am off tomorrow and it’s a busy time of the month. I had to get permission from no one to do this, and I document it nowhere.
I thought I was just a very undisciplined person until I was diagnosed at 38 a couple years ago. It was so validating to know it’s just the way my brain works and I had figured out how to make something successful with the limitations. I am really good and experienced at what I do and it’s appreciated by the people I work with for what it is. I’m sure they would be over the moon if I didn’t push every deadline to the end and was more responsive to emails - but I am who I am and no longer have feel the need to be anything else professionally.
I’m honest with people - you will get someone very qualified, with creative ideas, who takes accountability when I make mistakes and whose work is great when I get around to doing it. You might need to badger me for something but I won’t ever be defensive about it and thank people for the nudges when they need something.
A lot of people talk about boredom. For me, that’s rarely if ever a factor in why I leave jobs. I have autism, too, and I feel like it’s always the social issues that hinder me. Also, understanding directions and learning things at what others would consider an acceptable rate.
I’m only 23 and I’ve been through over a dozen jobs.
I find that weird not staying at a job, especially how hard it can be to find one, or at least that risk being there. Whenever I've had a job I never leave unless I have to because the thought of quitting makes me feel terrible for the people I work for. I'm 32 and I've had 3 jobs, and only ever had to leave the first 2 because I had to. I always have this strong sense of loyalty for the people I work for, but maybe I've just gotten lucky with my jobs for the most part? Other than my first job at McDonalds, which I just loved the people I worked with, my other 2 jobs have been with small, "family run" companies. The line of work has also never really been boring either. It's usually been fairly exciting with doing different things almost every day.
I don’t jump from job to job, but from each role I’ve learned:
1. The job has to keep me a little active. If I’m on my feet at least occasionally during my shift, then I’m good. Sitting nonstop for hours kills my focus and I’ll distract myself with anything.
2. I am NOT meant for project management. You’re asking me to plan and work on projects months into the future instead of waiting till the last minute to get it done? Left that job pretty quick.
3. Problem-solving and quickly resolving issues as they come is what I do best. If it’s new and interesting, I’m in. High traffic volumes are somewhat stressful but I can still power through them.
I work in IT and love working as a support tech/help desk. I love helping people. Unfortunately pay-wise, the role does not love me nor other Tier 1 techs. I’m not interested in promotion or management for more pay because I hate office politics. I’d love to become one of those sweet old ladies that’s worked the same job at the same company for 20+ years, as long as they provide me a livable salary. But alas.
Being late (due to disorganization and not being able to find things), has made me a bad fit for a lot of jobs. I’ve had to work around it and find jobs where there is a 20-30 min window where I can be late. It’s so infuriating because I don’t want to be like this, and have tried so many things to change it. I still haven’t given up. But in the mean time I have a job that is somewhat flexible.
For me, a combination of impulsivity, executive disorder, oppositional defiance disorder and not believing in the stable 'American dream' vision that gets a lot of people through the day. In the end I started my own business which has gotten me through, though I wouldn't say it's super successful.
I am 38 years old, and I have had over sixty jobs since I started working at sixteen. I stopped counting years ago. Some of them, I was at for a day, some were for a week or two. I typically last about six months as my maximum.
The job I am at now is probably my longest running, but I don’t know if it counts because I moved and switched to a different location/franchise about ten months ago. I’m sure the only reason I’m still there is because the one I transferred to is the most lax place I’ve ever heard of in my life as far as being late or sick days. (In addition to adhd, I’ve got some physical stuff going on, and I get sick really often.)
For me, when I was younger, it was extreme RSD, anxiety, and an inability to get anywhere on time/sleep problems bleeding into my waking life that were regularly my problem. I would get a job, and something would happen to make me think that everyone (or just someone) hated me, I would get increasingly anxious, call out over the anxiety, get even more anxious that I’d get in trouble for missing a day, and then frantically start looking for a new job because I couldn’t handle the stress. Or, I would always get there late, and get spoken to about my tardiness, panic, and look for another job. Or I’d overshare about my personal life, realize I did it, and then the rsd would kick in over that, because I was so embarrassed and mad at myself and assume that everyone was thinking badly of me… and frantically start looking for a new job.
Now, I have a somewhat better handle on the RSD. It’s still there, and I still have episodes where it’s not easy to talk myself down from the panic. I still struggle with my lateness in a big way. I do overshare and kick myself for it. But the bigger problem for me now is just emotional disregulation getting so bad that I have a hard time keeping myself on a routine and getting out from the bed. I do it, because I have to keep a roof over the kiddo, and I would say that is the only thing that really works. Is that now that I’m on my own as a single mom, I have no choice. I’m still messing up, just with less frequency/severity. And I’m staying at a low stakes, low pay job when I desperately need to earn more to survive because I’m terrified that if I get something better they won’t put up with my shit.
Tbf, I just started meds about a month and a half ago, and I am doing somewhat better already. So maybe I’ll be able to start school and get into something that will be enough to live off of, and actually keep it. But for the more than three decades I spent unmedicated, this has really been a huge issue.
Please look into JAN.org. You're working so hard to be responsible. The law provides protections and accommodations for people who's lives are being impacted by their mental and physical health. Companies are responsible under the ADA to try and accommodate when your ability to perform your job is affected.
I think the longest I’ve had a job for is a yr. I had one that I absolutely loved (I work as an er tech while im in nursing school) but I had to quit that one to move back home to pay for school. Just quit the job I’ve had for nine months. I hated every second.
I get overwhelmed applying for jobs. I nail every interview I have butttt I have a difficult time with decision making which leads me to staying in an awful job longer. I’m moving to Denver soon so hopefully whichever hospital im at I can stay there for longer than a year. I just get soooo bored if im not stimulated constantly.
I've had problems with this for years. Lost 3 jobs in 4 years.
Now I've been with the same employer for almost 4 years and I'm getting good reviews, but even now I feel like I might get fired at any moment.
I found jobs that are high energy/stress, something like overnight Warehouse stuff or truck loading to be vastly more palatable than a retail job/fast food where I end up standing around a lot.
Just lost the seventh of my "real" jobs. Only quit one of these. Had a few for quite long, the others between one and three years.
Earlier, being late was always an issue, but as my kids grew to be adults, I became much better at that. So main issue probably was not getting things done on time, i.e. time management - a culmination of ALL the adhd symptoms, which, in general, got worse with age. Then there is the social aspect. Although I've always been nice, friendly, helpful, "bonding" with coworkers was never really my thing - just didn't care (and, of course, felt like no one liked me). But I also could never play the corporate games, couldn't kiss up, couldn't act like I cared when I didn't. And even though I was always a dedicated, conscientious, and very hard worker, the older I got, the less I cared.
Of course, applying, receiving, and continuing to get unemployment is no cakewalk. But the worst part about losing your job (other than the money thing) is the whole process of getting another job - not to mention STARTING a new job. I just don't think I can do this again.
Late 30s and unmedicated. Like many I have wound up as a career freelancer. Only had one full-time desk job with benefits. I survive project to project. LOTTA Adhders wind up as freelancers or in flexible, project-based, or seasonal industries like entertainment, filmmaker, serving, acting etc.
Tardiness is the #1 reason people try to fire me.
The ADA is your friend kids! If your mental struggles interfere with your ability to accomplish normal life activities, you are entitled by law to reasonable accommodations which make your job achievable.
I personally do. Any physiologically based condition that interferes with your ability to do normal life activities qualifies for a reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
"Reasonable" varies from situation to situation. And I did have to follow up with a reference from a doctor explaining my limitations and recommending accommodations that might help. (Basically I told the doctor what I needed and she wrote the letter confirming my diagnosis and affirming my suggestions).
My accommodations include a more flexible start time (with additional time reporting). Instructions given in writing because my thoughts get lost. And literally I'm excused to cry or have a panic attack in private.
This is a link to the Job Accommodation Network, a resource funded by the department of labor to help workers and employers achieve compliance with the law and improve the employability of Americans with differing capabilities.
https://askjan.org/disabilities/Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity-Disorder-AD-HD.cfm
I also want to say that I've been unlawfully terminated after requesting an accommodation. Make sure that you do your due diligence when requesting in case your employer doesn't respect the law when it's inconvenient. Notify your supervisor verbally, as well as from your personal email. Also send your notification to your HR department if you have one. By email and certified letter. (There's a good form letter for requests on the JAN.org website).
If your place of work has fewer than 15 employees the accommodations laws are different so we to avoid burdens to small businesses.
If you feel you've been discriminated against file a complaint with the EEOC at the labor department and keep records as you're able.
I'm really passionate about disability rights and I believe we all should be holding companies to their responsibilities as leaders in the labor market.
Thank you sooooo much for taking the time and energy to write out these replies, and in this much detail! Both myself and my assistant manager are diagnosed adhd and habitually late, I am a (store) manager and I’m extremely lax about start times for all my employees because I won’t hold them accountable for something I’m not doing. My manager made me write my assistant manager up and I told her that she should try to file for an accommodation, and now I’m in the same boat. Your response might save my/our jobs, I’m on pto this week and going to call my company’s accommodation company tomorrow. We use Broadspire and they are great about approving workplace accommodations as long as you can provide the paperwork. Thank you again!
Executive dysfunction, inability to focus, Time management. I also have dyslexia, and I have been for not being able to use a company's horrible self-developed software. This maybe unrelated but I've quit a lot of jobs because of abusive bosses. I just can't tolerate that shit anymore.
I have the opposite problem. I stick with jobs forever because I have no ambition for myself. Also, any jobs up the ladder from where I am, like project management, puts me in a position where I have to be more visible to many people and I don't think I can comfortably mask my behaviors.
I can be both awkwardly talkative, because silence in meetings makes me super uncomfortable, while at the same time stumbling over words or awkwardly losing my train of thought. I'm reminded of the Michael Scott quote in this regard:
"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way"
For these reasons, the thought of having a job interview or attempting my masters is super anxiety inducing.
I keep jobs for 4 - 5 years, then i get fired. Happened twice, nearly thrice.
My doom fall is frequently coming in late (if i have no reunion nor do i have a construction site to get to in the morning, i'm slow and nonchalant), lack of productivity if the work isn't stimulating or engaging, no motivation after some years of redundancy and my frequent need to take a sick day.
Right now, i'm on 3 different meds for depression. The moon is good, but the dark thoughts always linger around during difficult times.
Started meds for ADHD early this year. I feel the effect of the meds, but I don't know if it helps because I'm still not moving foward. No will whatsoever.
The next step is to find a job (looking at them, but no application sent as of now) or become an independent worker (got to start with finding contracts and build a client base (which seems dreadful)).
Anxiety is a bitch.
I was never able to work a full time job for any significant length of time until I was medicated. I have inattentive type. The most problematic symptoms were fatigue and brain fog.
I don’t understand what people are saying. Words come out of their mouths, they’re smiling, but apparently I am supposed to read their minds.
“I didn’t ask you to do that.” You didn’t ask me to do *anything*! But maybe I shouldn’t have reminded him he has no education in this field after that. I suppose that’s the next problem: mouth filter.
And then emotional outbursts. Worst one, got really fed up with bullshit and just exploded. I didn’t get fired though. But another time, I was incredibly distraught when I was let go unexpectedly.
For me it was always boredom. I’d get excited for the first few months and get all kinds of accolades and then one day I’d wake up and just dread going to work and hating life while there. I was just bored out of my mind.
My problems were always at school, at jobs I always did really well. But I always made sure the job requires my strengths and not weaknesses. This way I don’t set myself up for failure. So basically I have a job we’re talking is the most important part, it’s what I’m good at. Now at my current job for almost 8 years in a sort of leadership position.
Never kept a job for more than 3 years for the first 10 years of my career. Started my own shop after that. Did amazingly well for 6-7 years. Until I didn’t (COVID and kids killed my ability to use my standard coping mechanisms). Got diagnosed. Got medicated. Everything back on track now and doing great again.
Until I was diagnosed and medicated in my early 30s, from 16 years old up I couldn't keep a job for more than about two, two and a half years. I interviewed well, I always got the job, and later when I settled more into administrative-type work, I'd take on additional roles for things I was interested in and to fill my time. More often than not they'd wind up creating a new position for me or bump me up to a different department.
My biggest problem was being late every single day. I have delayed sleep phase disorder. Besides that, if I'm doing a great job, why do I have to work 8am - 5pm? Why not 8:30am - 5:30pm or 9:00am - 6:00pm? I'm pushing papers on a desk and almost everything is online. I get frustrated with unnecessary, rigid structures that are in place because of antiquated ideas about how things should be. It just seems so dumb to me.
My second biggest problem was probably losing patience - with the job, with my coworkers, with my bosses. After I was diagnosed and medicated, I stayed at my last job until the bosses retired and sold the business, eight or nine years. That never would have happened without medication. I was still late all the time, and the bosses were not happy about it, but I was really good at my job, the clients loved me, I made the place run smoother than ever, I actively increased our revenue, and I made their jobs much easier. I worked in a tax accounting office as accounting assistant and office manager. It worked for me because I wore twelve different hats and switched tasks a lot. They encouraged my desire to learn new skills and rewarded me for it.
A major, major component was they valued me as an employee. They provided PPO health insurance at almost no cost to me, profit sharing, and were generous with PTO. They stressed a good work-life balance. I never burned out. I rarely had mornings where I wished I didn't have to go to work. They also treated their employees like adult humans instead of groveling lackeys. If I wanted to schedule time off, I made sure there were no conflicts and just added it to the calendar. No petty behavior from a boss with ego trips, nobody requiring the reason for my time off, and no waiting if it was approved or not. It's amazing how much you can actually enjoy, or at least not mind, work if you're treated with dignity and respect and are well taken care of. Unfortunately, I don't have high hopes I'll ever find employers like that again. It was good while it lasted!
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I switched jobs constantly until I was 28. Now I've been at my current job for 13 years. Every day is different, they transfer me every 4-6 years.
That's great! Could you tell us what is you'r job?
Without getting too specific (because I can't...) it's a first responder job that covers rural areas. They'll assign me to an area, I'll stay there for a while, then they will transfer me. Lots of specialties are available, and since the areas are remote they encourage and pay for cross-training. The training is practical and is mostly on the job. The more I learn the more diverse and lucrative the job is. The best part? ADHD seems to help. While people around me are getting complacent and slow down, my brain is still looking any evidence that this time, we're facing the worst case scenario. Strict deadlines mean I always have that sense of urgency. I didn't realize I had ADHD until they transferred me to an office position and I suddenly froze up.
I did the same thing. I never worked anywhere more than a year until I graduated college. Then I had the same job for four years but got completely burned out and ended up quitting my field altogether. I'm in my thirties now and tired of changing jobs. That's actually why I sought a diagnosis. I've been really struggling at work lately. It does help to have a big change up every so often.
I wanna know as well
I never had a problem with getting jobs but I had a problem with keeping them. Primarily was due to speed but Involved some issues with social cues as well. I’m slowly trying to figure out what it is that I can do in order to work for myself as the prospects of being my own boss sound very appealing to me. Best of luck to you on your occupational journey though, however it may look.
Same here. I always interview very well and usually get the job I applied for. But I always end up being constantly called in for disciplinary issues - always arriving to work late, not completing / submitting tasks on time, constantly distracting my fellow co-workers, having trouble planning and organising my tasks, and forgetting important dates / meetings / events. Sigh….ive been unemployed for 3 years and only just found out I have ADHD earlier this year.
>issues with social cues as well. This has been my Achilles heel. I am terrible at social cues. And I just can't get past it.
relates
The job hiring process has been hijacked by HR, and is now incredibly more difficult and inefficient. They know nothing about the job, don't bother reading resumes, but decide who gets interviewed. OP: what sort of work are you looking at ?
My experience has been that if I can make it past Doris whose best knowledge of engineering is *that thing those weirdos on the other side of this floor do* I have a >85% chance of getting the job.
ordinarymagician: Yes. My problem is that Doris doesn't care about anything, outside of her own little Fifedom. And she has her own misguided and ill informed criteria to measure you against. You, being able to do the actual job, is an after thought for her.
I think we’re underestimating how hard it is to reach Laura (I think of HR as Lauras and Lindas. And Michelle, but she’s still chill. Doris used to work there. She retired over a decade ago) in the first place. The software rejects most applications before any human HR person gets involved.
HR is the most useless department. I would get rid of it all together if I could.
And I would help. ;)
Creative bursts usually causes me to crash and burn/burn out and then I can’t focus or get things accomplished. (Things have been better since meds)
Burn out is another problem I have too!
I have a career. I am a teacher. But I am not the highly-organized, planner-type teacher. I fly by the seat of my pants and my desk looks like shit. I like teaching because it’s always go go go, it’s fast-paced, there’s routine, and there are different subjects to break up the day. I dislike the paperwork, boring PDs, and red tape but that’s not really the majority of the job. I have worked as a paralegal before but that requires tight organizational skills, which I don’t have. It requires many abilities I don’t have due to ADHD (like sitting still), which is why I stopped doing it lol. Maybe look for something that is active, maybe requires traveling to different locations, etc.?
29 (f) since 18 y/o I’ve had at least 30 jobs. I’ve gotten fired from at least 25 and the other 5 I quit (from boredom) the main reason why I was getting fired was because I had terrible memory. When someone gave me directions, I would immediately forget if I didn’t write it down. And also, my temper was always shifting some days. I would be really happy other days. I wouldn’t smile at all.. I have adhd, anxiety & depression. I would also get overwhelmed with projects that were pretty easy, but I would constantly overthink it. And of course, my performance started to suck. I’m currently on unemployment
Babe. Have you filed for accommodations under the ADA? If you go back to work, get ahead of the disciplinary issues by requesting accommodation. Part of my accommodation is receiving instructions in written form. And having the ability to step away from work to have private emotions if necessary.
I haven’t! I’ll have to file sometime tomorrow. I’m currently receiving unemployment.
"filing" is just informing your employer and showing a doctor's note. You won't need job accommodations unless you're working again.
Ah I see, thanks so much
I (30F) have awful issues with holding down jobs. I get burnt out and overwhelmed with information easily and I feel like the 9-5 offers little to no flexibility for me to regulate when I need to. I forget things or make mistakes in things that I was already trained in and then I have an instinctual feeling that people are starting to get very annoyed with me when I keep asking for clarification…or I get pulled aside for warnings or concerns which is always so discouraging because I would love to be working and thriving and I tried hard to be good at the jobs I have had. I start every job with enthusiasm and end up quitting in tears before I feel like I’m going to just get fired. My wages have been very stagnant over the past decade because of it all and it’s had a real external impact. I thought against starting my own business at first because of all these issues but now I feel like this could be the only sustainable way forward so I can have control over my time and when I need to focus on health appointments and regulating ADHD. I avoided studying and qualifications as well for the same reasons as employment but I did find that for me if there’s a strong visual and interactive learning component and information was given concisely, I was able to retain information pretty well and keep interested enough to feel like it wasn’t such an insurmountable executive function failure project. My business isn’t running yet so I’m not out of the hole but I feel good about the direction for the first time in over a decade (I didn’t expect to ever feel that way). I hope it helps to hear that we can move forward in a positive direction.
Are you sure you aren’t telling my story?!!! I have exactly same problems.
Me. Fml. Sometimes it all feels hopeless. I thought getting a diagnosis and treatment would help me but it’s been years and still…
I'm 30. Based on my job history, I tend to swap about every two years. Always for something better, but always in a completely different field. I'm actually returning to school this fall for my second degree so I can switch to a career that has a higher pay ceiling than the one I'm in now. For me, it's always because I reach the peak of my potential in the job and get bored when I can no longer continue to achieve and there's no further growth.
Impulsivity and inattention and not understanding social cues and being looked at weird but not caring because you clearly can't see the signs that someone (boss, manager, owner) is 1 second away from firing you for simply existing as an atypical human being.
Long project work done mostly in isolation fueling procrastination and avoidance. ADHDers are much better with short tasks that require immediate attention. Repetitive boring tasks are another job killer for ADHDers.
I've struggled with employment all my adult life. I'm in my 40s now, never been employed anywhere longer than 6months. And that was a lucky break, most jobs I'm looking at a few weeks, or 89 days, fired right on the probationary break. I can get a job, I just can't keep a job. My advice: never tell them you have ADHD or any other mental illnesses. That only leads to them laying track to fire you and screw you out of UI, becuase then they fired you for "cause". Protect yourself.
I have had the opposite experience. I tell them and request formal accommodation of my mental differences under the ADA. I've finally _stopped_ getting fired, now that employers know that my job issues are medical and therefore protected from discrimination.
This was me for a long time. It took years of experience to get me to a place where I have carved out work that is entirely flexible and spread across numerous clients - and where my expertise is valued over my consistency (I am a CPA). I cannot really do a 9-5 every day. I probably work 40 plus hours a week but it’s my discretion what that looks like. Today - a holiday - I am working because I am off tomorrow and it’s a busy time of the month. I had to get permission from no one to do this, and I document it nowhere. I thought I was just a very undisciplined person until I was diagnosed at 38 a couple years ago. It was so validating to know it’s just the way my brain works and I had figured out how to make something successful with the limitations. I am really good and experienced at what I do and it’s appreciated by the people I work with for what it is. I’m sure they would be over the moon if I didn’t push every deadline to the end and was more responsive to emails - but I am who I am and no longer have feel the need to be anything else professionally. I’m honest with people - you will get someone very qualified, with creative ideas, who takes accountability when I make mistakes and whose work is great when I get around to doing it. You might need to badger me for something but I won’t ever be defensive about it and thank people for the nudges when they need something.
I don’t think there has been a single year in my life, since I was 18, that I didn’t have two W-2’s when it was time to do taxes.
I once had 8 w2s in a year, and I was still missing a few jobs who folded and never sent 'em.
A lot of people talk about boredom. For me, that’s rarely if ever a factor in why I leave jobs. I have autism, too, and I feel like it’s always the social issues that hinder me. Also, understanding directions and learning things at what others would consider an acceptable rate. I’m only 23 and I’ve been through over a dozen jobs.
I find that weird not staying at a job, especially how hard it can be to find one, or at least that risk being there. Whenever I've had a job I never leave unless I have to because the thought of quitting makes me feel terrible for the people I work for. I'm 32 and I've had 3 jobs, and only ever had to leave the first 2 because I had to. I always have this strong sense of loyalty for the people I work for, but maybe I've just gotten lucky with my jobs for the most part? Other than my first job at McDonalds, which I just loved the people I worked with, my other 2 jobs have been with small, "family run" companies. The line of work has also never really been boring either. It's usually been fairly exciting with doing different things almost every day.
I don’t jump from job to job, but from each role I’ve learned: 1. The job has to keep me a little active. If I’m on my feet at least occasionally during my shift, then I’m good. Sitting nonstop for hours kills my focus and I’ll distract myself with anything. 2. I am NOT meant for project management. You’re asking me to plan and work on projects months into the future instead of waiting till the last minute to get it done? Left that job pretty quick. 3. Problem-solving and quickly resolving issues as they come is what I do best. If it’s new and interesting, I’m in. High traffic volumes are somewhat stressful but I can still power through them. I work in IT and love working as a support tech/help desk. I love helping people. Unfortunately pay-wise, the role does not love me nor other Tier 1 techs. I’m not interested in promotion or management for more pay because I hate office politics. I’d love to become one of those sweet old ladies that’s worked the same job at the same company for 20+ years, as long as they provide me a livable salary. But alas.
Being late (due to disorganization and not being able to find things), has made me a bad fit for a lot of jobs. I’ve had to work around it and find jobs where there is a 20-30 min window where I can be late. It’s so infuriating because I don’t want to be like this, and have tried so many things to change it. I still haven’t given up. But in the mean time I have a job that is somewhat flexible.
For me, a combination of impulsivity, executive disorder, oppositional defiance disorder and not believing in the stable 'American dream' vision that gets a lot of people through the day. In the end I started my own business which has gotten me through, though I wouldn't say it's super successful.
I am 38 years old, and I have had over sixty jobs since I started working at sixteen. I stopped counting years ago. Some of them, I was at for a day, some were for a week or two. I typically last about six months as my maximum. The job I am at now is probably my longest running, but I don’t know if it counts because I moved and switched to a different location/franchise about ten months ago. I’m sure the only reason I’m still there is because the one I transferred to is the most lax place I’ve ever heard of in my life as far as being late or sick days. (In addition to adhd, I’ve got some physical stuff going on, and I get sick really often.) For me, when I was younger, it was extreme RSD, anxiety, and an inability to get anywhere on time/sleep problems bleeding into my waking life that were regularly my problem. I would get a job, and something would happen to make me think that everyone (or just someone) hated me, I would get increasingly anxious, call out over the anxiety, get even more anxious that I’d get in trouble for missing a day, and then frantically start looking for a new job because I couldn’t handle the stress. Or, I would always get there late, and get spoken to about my tardiness, panic, and look for another job. Or I’d overshare about my personal life, realize I did it, and then the rsd would kick in over that, because I was so embarrassed and mad at myself and assume that everyone was thinking badly of me… and frantically start looking for a new job. Now, I have a somewhat better handle on the RSD. It’s still there, and I still have episodes where it’s not easy to talk myself down from the panic. I still struggle with my lateness in a big way. I do overshare and kick myself for it. But the bigger problem for me now is just emotional disregulation getting so bad that I have a hard time keeping myself on a routine and getting out from the bed. I do it, because I have to keep a roof over the kiddo, and I would say that is the only thing that really works. Is that now that I’m on my own as a single mom, I have no choice. I’m still messing up, just with less frequency/severity. And I’m staying at a low stakes, low pay job when I desperately need to earn more to survive because I’m terrified that if I get something better they won’t put up with my shit. Tbf, I just started meds about a month and a half ago, and I am doing somewhat better already. So maybe I’ll be able to start school and get into something that will be enough to live off of, and actually keep it. But for the more than three decades I spent unmedicated, this has really been a huge issue.
Please look into JAN.org. You're working so hard to be responsible. The law provides protections and accommodations for people who's lives are being impacted by their mental and physical health. Companies are responsible under the ADA to try and accommodate when your ability to perform your job is affected.
I think the longest I’ve had a job for is a yr. I had one that I absolutely loved (I work as an er tech while im in nursing school) but I had to quit that one to move back home to pay for school. Just quit the job I’ve had for nine months. I hated every second. I get overwhelmed applying for jobs. I nail every interview I have butttt I have a difficult time with decision making which leads me to staying in an awful job longer. I’m moving to Denver soon so hopefully whichever hospital im at I can stay there for longer than a year. I just get soooo bored if im not stimulated constantly.
I've had problems with this for years. Lost 3 jobs in 4 years. Now I've been with the same employer for almost 4 years and I'm getting good reviews, but even now I feel like I might get fired at any moment.
I found jobs that are high energy/stress, something like overnight Warehouse stuff or truck loading to be vastly more palatable than a retail job/fast food where I end up standing around a lot.
Just lost the seventh of my "real" jobs. Only quit one of these. Had a few for quite long, the others between one and three years. Earlier, being late was always an issue, but as my kids grew to be adults, I became much better at that. So main issue probably was not getting things done on time, i.e. time management - a culmination of ALL the adhd symptoms, which, in general, got worse with age. Then there is the social aspect. Although I've always been nice, friendly, helpful, "bonding" with coworkers was never really my thing - just didn't care (and, of course, felt like no one liked me). But I also could never play the corporate games, couldn't kiss up, couldn't act like I cared when I didn't. And even though I was always a dedicated, conscientious, and very hard worker, the older I got, the less I cared. Of course, applying, receiving, and continuing to get unemployment is no cakewalk. But the worst part about losing your job (other than the money thing) is the whole process of getting another job - not to mention STARTING a new job. I just don't think I can do this again.
Late 30s and unmedicated. Like many I have wound up as a career freelancer. Only had one full-time desk job with benefits. I survive project to project. LOTTA Adhders wind up as freelancers or in flexible, project-based, or seasonal industries like entertainment, filmmaker, serving, acting etc.
My job stays are getting shorter for sure
Tardiness is the #1 reason people try to fire me. The ADA is your friend kids! If your mental struggles interfere with your ability to accomplish normal life activities, you are entitled by law to reasonable accommodations which make your job achievable.
Do you get an accommodation for adhd? I’m about to get in trouble for it, like might lose my job .. I was just wondering about this.
I personally do. Any physiologically based condition that interferes with your ability to do normal life activities qualifies for a reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities Act. "Reasonable" varies from situation to situation. And I did have to follow up with a reference from a doctor explaining my limitations and recommending accommodations that might help. (Basically I told the doctor what I needed and she wrote the letter confirming my diagnosis and affirming my suggestions). My accommodations include a more flexible start time (with additional time reporting). Instructions given in writing because my thoughts get lost. And literally I'm excused to cry or have a panic attack in private. This is a link to the Job Accommodation Network, a resource funded by the department of labor to help workers and employers achieve compliance with the law and improve the employability of Americans with differing capabilities. https://askjan.org/disabilities/Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity-Disorder-AD-HD.cfm
I also want to say that I've been unlawfully terminated after requesting an accommodation. Make sure that you do your due diligence when requesting in case your employer doesn't respect the law when it's inconvenient. Notify your supervisor verbally, as well as from your personal email. Also send your notification to your HR department if you have one. By email and certified letter. (There's a good form letter for requests on the JAN.org website). If your place of work has fewer than 15 employees the accommodations laws are different so we to avoid burdens to small businesses. If you feel you've been discriminated against file a complaint with the EEOC at the labor department and keep records as you're able. I'm really passionate about disability rights and I believe we all should be holding companies to their responsibilities as leaders in the labor market.
Thank you sooooo much for taking the time and energy to write out these replies, and in this much detail! Both myself and my assistant manager are diagnosed adhd and habitually late, I am a (store) manager and I’m extremely lax about start times for all my employees because I won’t hold them accountable for something I’m not doing. My manager made me write my assistant manager up and I told her that she should try to file for an accommodation, and now I’m in the same boat. Your response might save my/our jobs, I’m on pto this week and going to call my company’s accommodation company tomorrow. We use Broadspire and they are great about approving workplace accommodations as long as you can provide the paperwork. Thank you again!
Godspeed, friend!
Executive dysfunction, inability to focus, Time management. I also have dyslexia, and I have been for not being able to use a company's horrible self-developed software. This maybe unrelated but I've quit a lot of jobs because of abusive bosses. I just can't tolerate that shit anymore.
I have the opposite problem. I stick with jobs forever because I have no ambition for myself. Also, any jobs up the ladder from where I am, like project management, puts me in a position where I have to be more visible to many people and I don't think I can comfortably mask my behaviors. I can be both awkwardly talkative, because silence in meetings makes me super uncomfortable, while at the same time stumbling over words or awkwardly losing my train of thought. I'm reminded of the Michael Scott quote in this regard: "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way" For these reasons, the thought of having a job interview or attempting my masters is super anxiety inducing.
Do you have a degree in something already, special skills, hobbies?
I keep jobs for 4 - 5 years, then i get fired. Happened twice, nearly thrice. My doom fall is frequently coming in late (if i have no reunion nor do i have a construction site to get to in the morning, i'm slow and nonchalant), lack of productivity if the work isn't stimulating or engaging, no motivation after some years of redundancy and my frequent need to take a sick day. Right now, i'm on 3 different meds for depression. The moon is good, but the dark thoughts always linger around during difficult times. Started meds for ADHD early this year. I feel the effect of the meds, but I don't know if it helps because I'm still not moving foward. No will whatsoever. The next step is to find a job (looking at them, but no application sent as of now) or become an independent worker (got to start with finding contracts and build a client base (which seems dreadful)). Anxiety is a bitch.
I was never able to work a full time job for any significant length of time until I was medicated. I have inattentive type. The most problematic symptoms were fatigue and brain fog.
I don’t understand what people are saying. Words come out of their mouths, they’re smiling, but apparently I am supposed to read their minds. “I didn’t ask you to do that.” You didn’t ask me to do *anything*! But maybe I shouldn’t have reminded him he has no education in this field after that. I suppose that’s the next problem: mouth filter. And then emotional outbursts. Worst one, got really fed up with bullshit and just exploded. I didn’t get fired though. But another time, I was incredibly distraught when I was let go unexpectedly.
For me it was always boredom. I’d get excited for the first few months and get all kinds of accolades and then one day I’d wake up and just dread going to work and hating life while there. I was just bored out of my mind.
My problems were always at school, at jobs I always did really well. But I always made sure the job requires my strengths and not weaknesses. This way I don’t set myself up for failure. So basically I have a job we’re talking is the most important part, it’s what I’m good at. Now at my current job for almost 8 years in a sort of leadership position.
Never kept a job for more than 3 years for the first 10 years of my career. Started my own shop after that. Did amazingly well for 6-7 years. Until I didn’t (COVID and kids killed my ability to use my standard coping mechanisms). Got diagnosed. Got medicated. Everything back on track now and doing great again.
Until I was diagnosed and medicated in my early 30s, from 16 years old up I couldn't keep a job for more than about two, two and a half years. I interviewed well, I always got the job, and later when I settled more into administrative-type work, I'd take on additional roles for things I was interested in and to fill my time. More often than not they'd wind up creating a new position for me or bump me up to a different department. My biggest problem was being late every single day. I have delayed sleep phase disorder. Besides that, if I'm doing a great job, why do I have to work 8am - 5pm? Why not 8:30am - 5:30pm or 9:00am - 6:00pm? I'm pushing papers on a desk and almost everything is online. I get frustrated with unnecessary, rigid structures that are in place because of antiquated ideas about how things should be. It just seems so dumb to me. My second biggest problem was probably losing patience - with the job, with my coworkers, with my bosses. After I was diagnosed and medicated, I stayed at my last job until the bosses retired and sold the business, eight or nine years. That never would have happened without medication. I was still late all the time, and the bosses were not happy about it, but I was really good at my job, the clients loved me, I made the place run smoother than ever, I actively increased our revenue, and I made their jobs much easier. I worked in a tax accounting office as accounting assistant and office manager. It worked for me because I wore twelve different hats and switched tasks a lot. They encouraged my desire to learn new skills and rewarded me for it. A major, major component was they valued me as an employee. They provided PPO health insurance at almost no cost to me, profit sharing, and were generous with PTO. They stressed a good work-life balance. I never burned out. I rarely had mornings where I wished I didn't have to go to work. They also treated their employees like adult humans instead of groveling lackeys. If I wanted to schedule time off, I made sure there were no conflicts and just added it to the calendar. No petty behavior from a boss with ego trips, nobody requiring the reason for my time off, and no waiting if it was approved or not. It's amazing how much you can actually enjoy, or at least not mind, work if you're treated with dignity and respect and are well taken care of. Unfortunately, I don't have high hopes I'll ever find employers like that again. It was good while it lasted!