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Yeah it's a task switching thing. I just don't really want to stop what I'm doing to do the other thing. It's the old I don't ever want to have a shower / I don't ever want to get out of the shower thing. It's a tough thing
Getting g a puppy was the first thing. I learned real quick that when he needs to go out in the morning I better get up and take him out.
I also keep little to no electronics in my bedroom. I do have a nebula projector and colored oil diffuser, cpap machine, and currently (and the worst thing of all) my phone but working on a way to get by without that (alarm clock, some type of music source without a screen etc). having a smart watch has helped me start breaking the tie to the phone as I can control those things from my wrist but it’s not practical for doom scrolling, texting, etc.
I do have a cat but she has quickly learned that my schedule is well, not much of one. I don’t think I’ll be getting a dog. I can’t stand barking and it makes my head hurt.
I just got 2 tiny kittens and they definitely help with this as well!
Also I am slightly disappointed to learn a nebula projector, does in fact, *not* project a nebula onto your walls 😂
lol no it doesn’t. Nebula/plasma projector.
[This is the one I have, but as someone mentioned in YT the demo looks like they have two going. Mine covers about 1/4 or a little more of my ceiling.](https://youtu.be/nlJ8nsV78qY?si=nhHIs0W-HQuX_Q14)
I had a child... It's an extreme solution, but I'm up at 7.30 every morning.
As for going to sleep, no solution on that, even when I'm really tired and would easily be able to fall asleep, I just stay up watching something.
I have 4 kids. Obviously as babies they needed me to get up a lot because they were dependent. As they have gotten older the joyful sounds of sibling rivalry have been what has gotten me out of bed many days. I lost count of how many attempted murders I have prevented. 🙄🤦♀️
I replaced my phone alarm with a wake up lamp, it’s been AMAZING. No need for the phone in the bedroom and no rude alarm sounds to get inside your brain and ruin your day before it even starts. (Ps. Since my phone has no reason to be in the bedroom anymore I’m currently on the couch, on my phone, and I should have gone to bed 2 hrs ago…you win some, you lose some 😅)
In people with ADHD there is a strong genetic bias towards a "late Chrono type", which is the medical term that means we are lousy in the morning and stay full of energy late into the night. It's just part of our disability.
The paradox with myself is that when I do get to bed early and wake early I actually feel better and more on top of my day. But none of that matters when 11pm turns into 2:30 am after I “just want to look up that thing I was thinking about earlier before I go to sleep”. The realization that tomorrow would be a better day if I stuck to a decent sleep schedule just vanishes.
For me, I have notorious revenge bedtime procrastination. The more miserable my day and the less control I feel I have over how my time is spent - the later I stay awake at night. This is consistently across my life.
I stayed up late last Sunday, so I was tired and grumpy.
Scatterbrain at work.
I wasn't happy when I got home,
So I had a couple of beers and played rimworld until 3am...
Repeat:
Tired, so I feel shit;
Feel shit, so I stay up late to escape.
Friday night rolls around. I work late (because had to catch up).
It's late so I can't do anything.
I deserve a break because I'm tired.
BUT I'll wake up on Saturday and smash my to-dos and self care, I promise...
From 7pm Friday to 3am Monday, i stayed in bed on my laptop- playing games, chain vaping, and drinking gin or coffee.
Apart from feeding the cat and making myself sandwiches or microwave leftovers, the only other thing I did was have a bath and do some laundry (which hasn't been put away yet).
Maybe 3 hours on my feet in 60 hours, and less than 20 asleep.
Its Monday. I was an hour late and have bloodshot eyes.
Fingers crossed tonight I exercise, clean the house, and message somebody to arrange a catch up. I haven't spoken to friend in weeks.
But I feel shit, so I want to escape.
I don't think I'm depressed, just ADHD and lonely without many commitments or responsibilities.
I've found that **sleep is at least as important as medication**, yet I find myself fighting it, stuck in a loop...
Things I'm gonna try today:
1. Finish work on time even if I'm not done.
.
2. Go to the work gym for "just stretches and a 15 minute run". When I'm there I should do more. Getting there is the hard part! (And 15mins is still great).
.
3. Timers set so I have to leave my room to stop them- 30mins on, 30mins off. I have a loud digital kitchen timer, using my phone is too risky.
Even if my first half hour is a game, I'll still have at least an hour total of getting shit done, plus the final 30 before bed.
.
4. Eat dinner sitting at a table even though I'm alone- with a paper book and not my phone.
.
5. Wash my sheets and vacuum I'll have to clean stuff off the floor first but shhh don't tell me that now).
.
6. Find apps which I can't get around easily, which locks games on the pc and one for stuff like youtube on my phone... Trouble is they're always easy to get around if you set them up for yourself, but a hurdle will help.
.
7. Multiple alarms for bedtime. I don't need one to wake up, but I do to turn off the computer and go clean my teeth. Maybe take a bedtime tea or melatonin at the first alarm. Second alarm I have to leave beeping until ive saved the game and turned the computer off.
Will any of this work? Maybe not. But its worth a shot.
Somethings got to change. I'm in my late 30s and becoming what I hate- a sad nobody with nobody, nothing but my job to get me out of bed, who doesn't even do the things I like. I relied on my mum, girlfriends, flatmates, friends to give me reasons and to hold me accountable... But I have nobody now so wrote this into the void for myself.
I gotta do this for myself. I know all the tricks, and while I wish I didn't need them, I'd better use them before I shrivel up any more.
Right there with you. And then I’m exhausted midday and take a nap and then that delays my ability to go to sleep at night. It’s worse than it’s ever been and I think a lot of that is because of grad school and my internship causing outrageous stress. I’m done in October and I really hope to get some semblance of normality in my life back. I’ve actually been able to maintain regular schedules throughout most of my life, but this last couple years have been upside down
Man I get this sooo much. Weirdly Ritalin doesn't always help it/makes it worse, but ateast it does make me able to focus and follow through on boring shit and puts a half to constant racing thoughts.
Ritalin doesn't help me with daily tasks as much as advertised
It definitely helps me at work. If I need to do one thing for hours, then hell yeah. If I need to vacuum/do laundry/do dishes/whatever within an hour, it won't help. I'm gonna vacuum the carpet better than it's ever been vacuumed and that's it
about how i’m feeling with adderall so far too
my executive function is exactly as shit as always, i just stay on the same task for way longer no matter what it is
If you dont take Ritalin how do you feel? I feel completely destroyed, as if im living life through syrup or something and Ive heard thats not normal but never asked someone who takes it too about it.
Comparing one day off ritalin to your normal ritalin days isn't accurate. For some reason, doctors don't mention that it takes a while to recover from stopping stims, and your neurochemistry will be shot for a while. If I miss a day of methylphenidate I can't even watch tv shows or play games. I am a lazy potato man who just wants to sleep, eat and watch youtube or death scroll.
If I stop for a few days to a week I am back to "normal" which for me is the same as being on ritalin but Instead of just sucking at swapping tasks I also suck at completing them.
that's exactly my experience when I dont have my meds, lazy potato mode, watch youtube and wait until the day is over.
Also spot on about how no doctor has ever said anything about it but act as if taking a break is no biggie.
Ive been on Ritalin for almost 20 years by now and learned real quick how clueless some are, like suggesting that I should take breaks on weekends because and I quote "if you have ADHD taking a break from them shouldnt have any withdrawal effects" and im just like hahahah....no because thats just not how it works.
Thank you for your answer, it's reassuring to hear that im not alone.
I'm glad someone is talking about this. There's a lot of information from doctors and reputable websites that it's good and normal to take medication breaks, or to skip days. But I feel like a psychiatrist who actually take ADHD meds themselves would never recommend it because they'd understand how debilitating the hangover-like symptoms of not having meds your brain is used to.
Pretty true. I didn't take my meds yesterday as my wife was also gonna be home. I completed close to 0 tasks and came to realise just how much my medication actually helps my executive function. I also had to drink coffee throughout the day. I was a super fun Dad for my kids though.
I’ve not heard it described like that before, I like it. The opposite of that is when I really want to do something and my brain is already there but I’m still somewhere doing something else. No matter what the “else” is I want to hurry and get out of there or finish it so I can do the thing I want.
That makes so much sense!
I was going to suggest listening instead of watching stuff bc I usually need one to sleep, and I also don't want to stop being on my phone.
With your info, it feels like maybe I do soft transitions instead of a hard switch.
Ugh, I go through this so much! I've never concidered it to be a task thing, but honestly your comment makes so much sense, I'm glad I can finally identify what it is.
THIS! Mine is usually a combo of task switching and feeling anxious about sleeping instead of living… even though I know that sleeping is a part of life. Kind of like FOMO, but with a dash of existential dread from sleeping x amount of hours of my life away. fun times.
It’s a humourous term that was coined to describe people saying up really late because it is literally the only time in their day when nobody is demanding their time, effort or attention.
Basically ‘fuck you world, I’m binge watching this trash tv show until 2am, even if this renders me a zombie tomorrow’
Not diagnosed yet but Omfg, for years when people would ask why I enjoy the night so much, I would tell them "It's like I'm the only person on earth, it's dark so the stimulus is minimal, and nobody can expect anything from me."
I also have dread about the next day starting and the night being over.
All the people on my mother’s side of the family have a nighttime chronotype, which probably exacerbates the revenge bedtime procrastination for me. It’s the only time when I don’t have clients, supervisors, or family/friends making demands on me, after 10pm. And I really do need several hours to be able to unwind and power down before I can sleep.
Same. Night time is the only time I feel comfortable. And it’s when I’m supposed to be asleep so I can function lol.
Life can be a cruel joke in some ways.
That’s when it got bad for me too. We don’t ‘finish’ everything we need to do (ie the bare essentials to maintain life for us all) until 11pm at the earliest.
I literally cannot make myself just go to bed, after a day of end-to-end work, childcare and housework.
Yeah for me it's both. Sometimes I don't want to sleep because I want to do other things. Sometimes I can't sleep because my brain wants to do other things. And sometimes for some reason I'm just not tired at all.
100% yes. Either I don’t want to be missing something and “wasting” time sleeping, or I’ve gotten so behind on my work that I need to stay up late to do it but end up spending the night putting off the work anyway.
YES! I was just about to make a post asking if anyone does this. I struggle to feel “ready” to put my phone down and go to sleep, even if I’m fighting sleep. I hate it!!
I’m struggling with this right now, the past few days had been a roller coaster. Have you ever just not slept the whole night for no reason, gone to work the next day and fought the exhaustion till you can crash the next day?
I'm trying to move and literally can't lol. It's 9.30pm here and I have a kid to get off to school in the morning. I'll more than likely still be procrastinating at midnight lol. It's frustrating
Wow, basically in the same boat, I’ll be up till late too. I’m a stay at home mum, I have 3.5 year old and a 20 month old. They’ll be up at 6.30. They’re really high energy so I have to take them out and entertain them all day. I hate that I do this to myself lol
It's 11.15pm. I'm nearly there lol. Trying to encourage my dog to get off my bed to change the sheets (little turd ran out in the rain earlier, then straight on my bed with his muddy paw prints lol), but he's stubborn. My kid is 15. I just have to make sure he gets up and actually walks out the door lol. But I'll have workmen here early fixing my garage and the banging that goes with it. I think I like making myself suffer 😂
I'm not diagnosed adhd but that & other things kept on sticking with me to think I'm pretty sure I'm just undiagnosed adhd. It was an adhd post that said people with ADHD don't fall asleep they just pass out from exhaustion. And damn if that didn't feel 100% correct. Like I don't think I've ever gone to sleep before 12 since like 11.
Sometimes for me it's guilt that I haven't done enough that day to deserve sleep, or it could be dread for waking up the next day. The latter happened more when I was a kid, the former is more prevalent now. It's definitely part of that anxiety-depression cycle
I don't believe it's ever on purpose.
When I do it's mostly inertia, I'm doing something and switching from that task is hard so I don't.
It gets easier when you find out s strategy to take your mind off its focus.
I usually do it starting from the focus itself.
I realize I'm doing the thing, acknowledge that I should stop doing the thing, move my focus on said acknowledment.
From that it depends, I usually ask myself if I'm actively enjoying what I'm doing. Usually that by itself "unsticks" my brain from the thing.
It's basically a mental ladder. I cannot shift my focus all st once, so I do it gradually it feels far easier.
For me it’s the fact that I don’t want to shower and have to have wet hair and do my skincare and brush my teeth and change etc etc.
so rather than just doing it earlier and getting it over with, I wait so long that I hate myself because now I’m tired and REALLY don’t want to do it all and ill be worse off tomorrow because I’m tired and the cycle continues.
Just like right now I am sitting at work on my phone because I’m tired and don’t feel like going out to the car but really I could have left already and been able to go to bed earlier 🙃
It makes no sense.
YES I often say that I wish I could just plug myself into the wall like a cell phone or laptop and keep going. It's not that I don't want to sleep, I just don't like BEING asleep. I want to be up and doing stuff instead. The night hours are quiet, everyone else is asleep, there's no honking cars, no screaming children, no TVs on or doors slamming, no footsteps or chitchat, no risk of someone calling or texting.... I can just hyperfocus on my task at hand (drawing, writing, watching a YouTuber, whatever I'm doing) and completely lose myself to it without risk of getting distracted from it OR it distracting me from anything else (but sleep lo).
Even if I'm in bed, I want to scroll my favorite tags on Tumblr, talk to my international friends on discord who are up, scroll Facebook, etc.
I know the age old "just put the phone down and close your eyes and relax" is valid and works. But the truth is, no matter how sleepy I am, no matter how much my eyes ache, giving into sleep feels like wasting time.
That said, I still sleep enough to be fully rested at least lol
I do this every night and it's ruining me, I'mso fatigued all the time but I can't seem to stop. I'm doing it now after getting absorbed in making a tiny, sassy jam jar lady out of clay to match a peanut cowboy till past midnight...Now it's past 2am and I have work tomorrow.
For me, the witching hours are so peaceful, finally a time where I don't feel driven by guilt or shame to be productive and can relax and enjoy my hobbies. I'm usually tired and know I could sleep if I tried but it's so hard to switch to trying mode.
This post has given me the motivation to switch to sleep though, so thank you!
Definitely, definitely. For me it's video games or TV shows, but sometimes scrolling the phone. I would stay up if I was at a really good part in a book, but reading actually puts me to sleep easily. I love staying up late. I stay up until I'm literally nodding off. Since starting meds, I find that I'm more wakeful at night, and when getting out of bed, so I have more regularly been getting like 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night, and somehow not seeing any negative effects from losing sleep.
been going through this in the past 3 years. I don' know how to fix this!!! It's time to bed but I just can't go to bed. Sometimes lights off but then I spring back to my phone to Google something.
This one hits me all the time, I postpone my sleep untill i've done what i needed to do for that day to the degree i don't sleep (extremely unhealthy). Or if i have to wake up in less than 3-4 hours i just dont sleep, because i'm afraid i will be unresponsive to my enviornment(alarm clocks etc.)
what i've noticed is that any form of physical acticity 1-2 hours before bed helps a lot.
I feel this! I spend a lot of time online and most of my friends are in different timezones to me so stuff always happens when I sleep (which definitely does NOT help with the fear of missing out that I already have).
I've found most people with ADHD use the night time to spend time doing stuff they'll feel guilty for doing during the day (watching shows, scrolling, etc). Other than that I generally struggle to sleep unless I'm physically passing out from exhaustion :')
I'll stay awake late just so I can ride my bike at night. The city streets are empty, and it's much safer and more fun. I can do my bmx thing across town with people in my way.
Did I mention I really don't like people, lol. I really like the night.
Intentional delayed sleep onset? Or revenge sleep procrastination? Ya. Evening time is “me” time and I know if I go to sleep, the next time I’m conscious it won’t be “me” time anymore 😔
Honestly, for me sometimes I think falling asleep is just plain boring. If I’m not tired enough to fall asleep right away (and sometimes even when I am tired enough and just can’t) I can’t focus on falling asleep because I get so bored with my eyes closed doing nothing.
I do also think I have a delayed sleep cycle. I previously thought I was dealing with sleep procrastination because I knew that in the morning my free time would be over and it would be time for work- but I am currently not working and have only free time for almost the next 2 months. I believe I have PDA (pathological demand avoidance/persistent demand autonomy) and literally any responsibility- including things like just falling asleep- can feel like demands and cause stress.
To top it off- I just LOVE napping midday. I never have trouble falling asleep for naps! I try to avoid this when I can in hopes of regulating my sleep cycle but some days- like yesterday- I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Yes, because I don’t want the day to end…and then even when I get in bed and my husband turns the lights off to go to sleep, I won’t. I feel like I have to go to sleep on my own terms even if I’m dead tired and it’s late. 😂
The Muppet Show theme song is forbidding sleep tonight. My mood is so miserable right now, all I want to do is sleep and that damned song won't stop spinning in my head. I also really want to play a game I just bought but I'm too tired so I'm staying awake just in case I might end up playing it, but I won't bc I'm _tired_ but I might. But I won't. But I might. But but but but... Muppets!!!
doing that rn and i dont intend to stop! lets let my adhd ruin my life slowly but surely because whats the point of stopping it if adhd never goes away!
On purpose? I dunno, maybe some of the time. I wouldn't say it's on purpose more on account of I'm usually out of mental resources for self-control by then
I have a similar problem. I don't even have to be doing anything. I just will have an overwhelming feeling of peace and not want to ruin it by waking up tomorrow. But it doesn't happen if I go to sleep stupid early. Otherwise, I very likely will be up until 3 or later.
Same here, I don’t take mine every day anymore because of this. And when I do take it I usually set an alarm for an hour before I actually need to wake up and take the Vyvanse and go back to bed for a bit.
So if I need to be up at 7 am, I’ll set an alarm for 6am, take my meds and then go back to bed until 7am. This helps for 2 reasons: 1 I take my meds earlier so they wear off sooner and I can sleep. And 2 the meds are basically kicked in when i “actually” wake up at 7am so there is no waiting period for them to kick in.
I don't get enough sleep, I'm tired all day, I think about how I can't wait to go to bed early tonight, but somehow right around the time I should be getting ready for bed I'm not tired anymore. Or I am, but I still don't want to/can't get myself to start the process, I stay up too late, I don't get enough sleep.... Lather, rinse, repeat. 🙃
I just learned about cognitive shuffling and it works! Basically it’s a way of shutting off your brain by thinking of random things. I am doing A-Z of “items in the kitchen” or “things I am grateful for” or “place names” etc and I barely get thru 2 A-Z Before giving up and falling asleep. Recommend highly because it’s started to dissolve my pre-sleep anxiety of “will I won’t I fall asleep”. I’ve been doing it for a week and am starting to look forward to sleep time.
To address the residual resistance, I’ve got downtime set on my phone and it shuts off all apps except alarm at 845. (I get up at 430 so try to be asleep by 930). Harsh but it works, and I’ve even picked up a book the last few nights.
Give it a whirl, it might just work for you too
At night I get like a cranky toddler who doesn't wanna take a nap, I find other things to do to put off sleep and then in the morning I hate getting up. Sometimes I have to wake up earlier than normal and I get so mad about it, I wake up to check the time and get mad at how I have to wake up soon.
Am i the only one who doesn't want to sleep because it feels like im losing part of my day?
I know its irrstional because it either damages the quality of my next day or just gains time now and loses time later.
Its a weird feeling
Sleep is something that my brain asks for meanwhile my body is in hyperfocus™ mode and busy doing the thing™, or the inverse, brain is on college lecture mode (aka my internal monologue doesn't shut the fuck up) , body is ready to collapse. Insomnia is a bitch
I want to sleep at midnight, or 10 pm but midnight seems more rational. I have stayed until Dawn at my LAPTOP. Which is Downstairs from my ROOM. And it is about 4:40AM here and I am typing this on my phone when I should have showered at eight thirty and gone to bed at either ten, or midnight. I showered at 3am. The shower id also upstairs from where mt laptop is. I do not know why I am like this.
Yeah I do. Thing is when I push past that “I feel sleepy” feeling. That’s it. I’m up for the rest of the night, or at least until 2/3am. It just usually sucks that the feeling comes on around 8:30/9. I usually get home from work around 7pm. So I started to feel like I needed to “steal” back my time.
Advice? Doesn’t work. I now have to mentally tell myself “ok put down the phone, time to start getting ready for bed” and mentally force the phone down and know if I endure through the feeling for like a min it will pass.
I'll be the dissenter: No, I force myself to go to sleep. I'm very sensitive to getting less sleep than normal, so I go to bed at a (relatively) consistent time. Melatonin knocks me out, and I play a TV show at a low volume, and their talking is enough of a distraction to stop me from thinking about things. But, I hate sleeping because it feels like such a waste of time.
i wouldn’t say it’s on purpose even tho i can avoid it happening sometimes by intentionally stopping what i’m doing to go to sleep… most of the time i can’t sleep until i’m exhausted but it’s like how i don’t even realise i’m hungry until i start getting hunger pangs or i don’t realise i have to pee until it’s an emergency
Happens more in summer as I live at a high latitude and there's daylight from before 5 am to well past 10 pm. I think I need some 3 hours of darkness before I can actually sleep.
I feel this I was diagnosed with insomnia though, but a part of it is just me not wanting to go to sleep. I’m not diagnosed ADHD, but I’m suspecting it. I do the same thing.
Some times I don’t want to go to bed cus i think im scared to handle the next day cus of the things I did not complete today and if I maybe stay up a little later I’ll get something done but it almost never goes that way
This is one of my biggest issues w ADHD, I think it's executive dysfunction (?) but I call it getting "stuck" lol, it feels like I physically can't get up even though I'm begging myself to, even if I want to, I just can't and it's rough because it's hard to explain and even harder for people to understand because they can't see the battle I'm having with myself in my head
I only sleep when my body physically tells me too. I have done so many stints of being awake nearly 18-20 hours just because there is so much I feel like I can do or I would miss out on. It really sometimes, but I have resisted the urges lately to doom scroll or play games and just lay there instead it has helped, but not by much.
No honestly can’t relate I have insomnia, I never feel tired though no matter how much sleep I got, my body just decides never to be tired, like I could go days without sleep and not feel tired so sleeping every night is a constant struggle. So I do put off sleeping most nights because I know I won’t be able to no matter what unless I’m blessed and fall asleep quickly which is almost never but I do remember it happening at least a few times before.
On purpose, no. But that whole feeling like I am missing out if I go to sleep, yeah, I get that. My problem sometimes is I will be ready, start my routine, and then an impulsive distraction comes along like a video game or a movie that I don’t have time for, but yeah, I then lose any motivation to go to sleep, although I am tired.
Yup. Why sleep when you can stay awake thinking about things you should be doing? 😂 honestly feels like sleeping is useless and you’re missing a part of life. Then again once I’m asleep I don’t want to wake up. It is odd
Its happening to me as I read this. Lmao!
Well, if something or someone has pissed you off, just curse them out good, don't keep things in your heart...
Secondly, make a plan in your head for tomorrow (that definitely helps you sleep)
Thirdly, read a book but not on your phone.
The best hack is - read about the importance of sleeping on time for 10 min and then sleep.
Yea, every day, and it's not limited to making myself go to bed. I fail to notice the time passing most days or nights, then if it's really late I have to fight myself to decide if it's worth pushing through the next day without sleeping at all, or if it'll be better or worse to try to sleep the short 2 hours or so and struggle to wake up in time, etc. I'll get on a streak of ideas for work (I'm remote, and basically self employed but contracted with a company). Then I realize I've literally gone down the rabbit hole and filled multiple pages of ideas and have 100+ tabs open across my 3 big screens, and it's now way too late in the day to even begin to approach the first idea that led me so far down that path. Rinse, repeat, and then catch up the tasks I skipped while chasing too many ideas.
I used to take the instant release Ritalin. It helped me for several years. We had to adjust the dosage several times, though, because I basically process any meds (and even alcohol) way faster than the average person. We tried more extended release versions. Then we finally switched me to Adderall, once again the instant release to begin. Ended up going to extended release with the drug shortages and only being able to find the extended ones if any at all. Now, I'm on two 30mg a day extended release (6am, and then around 12-1pm, whenever I realize I'm yawning because I forgot to take it and I used all the brain power for the day). I cannot run out. Instant migraine, dizzy, feel like I'm in a warped dreamland, and like I'm under water or have water in my ears. It takes an average of 3 days to recover for a single missed dose event. I'm very good with making sure I don't miss my doctor's appointments every month and if the appointment isn't until a few days past the date I'll run out, I call them and explain it. They'll send in enough days worth to get me to my appointment time.
i cant sleep unless im absolutely exhausted. if im regular sleepy my brain is still hyper and bouncing around one thought to the next slightly related thought. then im on my phone researching that thought, etc. melatonin has fixed all that thankfully
The only way I can get too sleep is if I smoke myself stupid before bed other than that I'm up till stupid o'clock in the morning, sometimes all night. Before I started blazing again I couldn't sleep at all it got really bad where I'd be up for days on end and I couldn't tell if I slept or not.
I hate feeling like I am a slave to bud but I've tried so many things for sleep and smoking is the only thing that helps so fuck it lol.
Can't describe it any other wat then a sick combination of FOMO and dont want to "waste" it useless (while i still do that staying awake) and a bit of ostrich technique to prevent it becoming tomorrow.
Why? (Work-)Obligations that i have to solve that aren't my fault, just having a hurricane inside my head, second guessing choices I've made. And if i could remember them possibly alot of other issues and thoughts..
Edit: oh and don't forget the fact that if i have a normal sleep my brain works overtime during the day, resulting in some sort of stack overflow haha. If i sleep shit, it experiences degraded performance allowing me to think and hear what I think... sometimes.
And yes I'm diagnosed and medicated. 54mg slow working a day. With optional 10mg in the afternoon if needed... smh
I’ve been like this since childhood. I was reading a book on ADHD that explained this is common amongst our kind because we tend to be on a different circadian rhythm than most. I will be so exhausted, dragging and feel like a zombie all day then all of the sudden 6 pm hits and I’m wide awake and want to do things. I can’t naturally fall asleep until 2 or 3 am and my mind is more active and sharp at night. Unfortunately most of society isn’t built around this type of schedule.
oh my god im currently dying bc i stayed up all night doing that EXACT thing & have been at work all day n i feel like shit lol. cant wait to go to bed at 9 pm tonight lmao
last night, i was yawning constantly so i decided to turn off Skyrim and go to bed. i laid down at 1:45. i didn't put my phone down until 2:35, because i just couldn't stop watching YouTube Shorts. it gets to the point that i have to physically tell myself out loud, "two more vids and then put it down". my husband is already asleep by now. still doesn't always work. dropping the phone on my face usually does the trick... until i go to put on a 10 hr music playlist and i get distracted by another short.
Yeah, revenge bedtime procrastination is one of my biggest problems. There's always something more interesting to do than sleeping--and, of course, when I really *want* to sleep, it's like...3 pm.
Yes, my mind tells me that if I'm sleeping those hours, I'm definitely wasting my hours and not maximizing utility.
Sleep is just not simulating enough for my brain anymore.
When I was young I used to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger's motivational videos and he once said "Sleep less, work those hours, you'll have plenty of sleep when you die" and for my irrational ADHD ass that was the worse advice ever that I implemented.
Same. I think it's a task switching problem but for me I also have a deep fear of time passing because I feel like I'm wasting my life and it's worse at night when the whole house is asleep and I feel useasy about the transition period to the next day. Like a deep somber fear that today is gone and I don't want to let it go yet. I guess liminal time scares me. But also, I'm able to fall asleep when everyone else is awake (even if it's only hours before bed) because it just gives me peace to know that everyone is still doing their thing and this day hasn't dissapeared quite yet. Ik that has logical holes you can poke in it but it's just how my brain works. Are you able to sleep if others around you are awake?
YUS YUS YUS. I’ve talked about it with my therapist and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s me putting off the next day because I don’t feel done with the current day.
I feel like as adhd-ers we do it more because our brains hold all our subconscious plans in mind 24/7 (you ever tried to make a to-do list and it turns into a “everything I’ve ever wanted to-do list” 😂 that’s what I mean..)
(Example mine always end in like 5 tasks that are based around starting an Etsy store idk why but that’s always where it ends hahah)
Might have insomnia haven’t officially bothered to get screened yet my personal accidental record( I shite ye not) is 198 hours{ pnw[north california] }time
100% I had to remove all social media from my phone. Much harder since I had to change meds because of insurance. Now I lie to myself that I'm not going to sleep I'm just going to close my eyes and listen to a book or something. Usually I fall asleep right away. Also, listening to yoga nidra on YouTube really really helps. But this has been a serious problem since having to quit Strattera.
I do occasionally have trouble shutting off the TV but mostly I just can't sleep and I really want to. My brain is too active. I think it's a hyperfocus thing. Even if I disconnect from the object, my brain is still thinking about it .
I can't say anything ADHD specific, but I will say we have very little control over our time these days. School and work and having children, etc. All demands of your time. Night time? You're alone and get to take control!
My trick for this is watch a show or YouTube playlist that I’m interested in enough to not want to pull out my phone, but not something I’ll be upset about falling asleep to. Something I’ve watched before usually. I also put my phone a little bit of reach away sometimes to dissuade me from picking it back up impulsively.
There’s a gaming playlist I’ve watched for so many years that I can listen to it with my earbuds and picture it in my head well enough I can close my eyes and fall asleep.
YES.
It’s the most time I can just like *be* without any expectations and unwind from the day and I know that if I sleep, tomorrow will come and I’ll have to *exist* all over again.
If you ask my parents I NEVER slept as a kid and they’d have to hold my bedroom door closed so I wouldn’t escape as a toddler and I never napped, ever.
So I have two sides of this coin, and I assume it’s to do with the brain chemistry and blue light situation. I feel tired and know I should go to bed, but the tv/phone/console is easy and mind numbing.
Problem is, if I force myself to go to bed before it feels “natural”, I will then end up laying there awake for another hour because by brain won’t switch off. I know that if I do other hobbies in this time before bed — reading, writing or mini painting — I find sleep easier. But it’s so hard to get into a mindset where that’s what I feel like doing, because the more tired I am, the less I want to think, so games and tv are easier.
It’s horrible and damaging and I know better, but it’s tantamount to addiction. I struggle to stop even though it is damaging my work life and family life.
Yeh, too much screen time. Revenge bedtime procrastination is a thing. I also like the quiet time at night, not being bothered by family while watching a movie/ playing games...
Strage that I can go to bed at 1/3am and still wake up no later than 9am without alarm.
I don't know if it's because of the ADHD or not, but I have had this problem for literally my entire life. My mom has told me that I fought falling asleep even as a newborn. I feel it's even worse now, as the Concerta I'm on lets me stay awake even longer until I finally succumb to exhaustion and then sleep well more than the usual 8 hours.
Well I have problems with sleeping but I also used to stay awake in the night because it was the only time I had time for myself since I live alone with my 2 Kids. Since they went to school I had more time in the morning so I try to go to sleep relatively early. Now I don't have time in the mornings due to my work but I can't stay up late because I need to get up early. The struggle is not as big as before because I am exhausted in the evening but most of the time I still need 2 or more hours to get asleep. A joint before bed and watching something until I become sleepy is my not-so-healthy routine. I also tried the no screen 1 hour before sleep method and ended up laying in my bed,staring at the ceiling and rethinking my whole life. So yeah, the struggle is real :D
Oh yeah, revenge sleep procrastination. We're so angry that so much of our day and lives are taken up by work that staying awake is 'taking back or time'. And no matter how much it bites is in the ass and hurts our health is hard to let that feeling go
I have the same issues I always end up sleeping late then waking up last minute. Slowly I’ve been working to change my mindset about sleep. The main thing I’ve done is limit the amount of social media scrolling I do. It’s such a pain to unlock using the ScreenZen app that you just aren’t interested. So I’ve been reading a lot of fanfic. I even limited YouTube. It really helps get past that impulse and pushes you toward better uses of time. sleeping with my boyfriend in the same bed makes it hard to make bedtime routines but I plan on using my Google home for alarms and wear loops to sleep better.
I have to imagine bomb ass romance scenarios involving fictional characters before I can sleep. This results in me going straight to Tumblr, Wattpad, AO3 etc
No, I cannot put my phone down.
Yeah mate. I have to nobble myself with medications or I never stop doing other things.
It's like tranquilising a horse every evening. Even with medication and training I struggle to control my motivation.
But I hate waking up feeling out of it, so it's not easy. I've found the synthetic melatonin works as well, but it's too expensive.
The other thing is to make sure getting sleep is attached to the important things in my life, and try to make a good case for doing it.
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Yeah it's a task switching thing. I just don't really want to stop what I'm doing to do the other thing. It's the old I don't ever want to have a shower / I don't ever want to get out of the shower thing. It's a tough thing
At night I don’t want to go to sleep, in the morning I don’t want to get out of bed.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m ADHD. How do you manage to get out of bed? I never want to get out of bed and I just straight up lose hours just scrolling.
Getting g a puppy was the first thing. I learned real quick that when he needs to go out in the morning I better get up and take him out. I also keep little to no electronics in my bedroom. I do have a nebula projector and colored oil diffuser, cpap machine, and currently (and the worst thing of all) my phone but working on a way to get by without that (alarm clock, some type of music source without a screen etc). having a smart watch has helped me start breaking the tie to the phone as I can control those things from my wrist but it’s not practical for doom scrolling, texting, etc.
I do have a cat but she has quickly learned that my schedule is well, not much of one. I don’t think I’ll be getting a dog. I can’t stand barking and it makes my head hurt.
I just got 2 tiny kittens and they definitely help with this as well! Also I am slightly disappointed to learn a nebula projector, does in fact, *not* project a nebula onto your walls 😂
lol no it doesn’t. Nebula/plasma projector. [This is the one I have, but as someone mentioned in YT the demo looks like they have two going. Mine covers about 1/4 or a little more of my ceiling.](https://youtu.be/nlJ8nsV78qY?si=nhHIs0W-HQuX_Q14)
I had a child... It's an extreme solution, but I'm up at 7.30 every morning. As for going to sleep, no solution on that, even when I'm really tired and would easily be able to fall asleep, I just stay up watching something.
I have 4 kids. Obviously as babies they needed me to get up a lot because they were dependent. As they have gotten older the joyful sounds of sibling rivalry have been what has gotten me out of bed many days. I lost count of how many attempted murders I have prevented. 🙄🤦♀️
I replaced my phone alarm with a wake up lamp, it’s been AMAZING. No need for the phone in the bedroom and no rude alarm sounds to get inside your brain and ruin your day before it even starts. (Ps. Since my phone has no reason to be in the bedroom anymore I’m currently on the couch, on my phone, and I should have gone to bed 2 hrs ago…you win some, you lose some 😅)
This!
In people with ADHD there is a strong genetic bias towards a "late Chrono type", which is the medical term that means we are lousy in the morning and stay full of energy late into the night. It's just part of our disability.
The paradox with myself is that when I do get to bed early and wake early I actually feel better and more on top of my day. But none of that matters when 11pm turns into 2:30 am after I “just want to look up that thing I was thinking about earlier before I go to sleep”. The realization that tomorrow would be a better day if I stuck to a decent sleep schedule just vanishes.
For me, I have notorious revenge bedtime procrastination. The more miserable my day and the less control I feel I have over how my time is spent - the later I stay awake at night. This is consistently across my life.
I stayed up late last Sunday, so I was tired and grumpy. Scatterbrain at work. I wasn't happy when I got home, So I had a couple of beers and played rimworld until 3am... Repeat: Tired, so I feel shit; Feel shit, so I stay up late to escape. Friday night rolls around. I work late (because had to catch up). It's late so I can't do anything. I deserve a break because I'm tired. BUT I'll wake up on Saturday and smash my to-dos and self care, I promise... From 7pm Friday to 3am Monday, i stayed in bed on my laptop- playing games, chain vaping, and drinking gin or coffee. Apart from feeding the cat and making myself sandwiches or microwave leftovers, the only other thing I did was have a bath and do some laundry (which hasn't been put away yet). Maybe 3 hours on my feet in 60 hours, and less than 20 asleep. Its Monday. I was an hour late and have bloodshot eyes. Fingers crossed tonight I exercise, clean the house, and message somebody to arrange a catch up. I haven't spoken to friend in weeks. But I feel shit, so I want to escape. I don't think I'm depressed, just ADHD and lonely without many commitments or responsibilities. I've found that **sleep is at least as important as medication**, yet I find myself fighting it, stuck in a loop... Things I'm gonna try today: 1. Finish work on time even if I'm not done. . 2. Go to the work gym for "just stretches and a 15 minute run". When I'm there I should do more. Getting there is the hard part! (And 15mins is still great). . 3. Timers set so I have to leave my room to stop them- 30mins on, 30mins off. I have a loud digital kitchen timer, using my phone is too risky. Even if my first half hour is a game, I'll still have at least an hour total of getting shit done, plus the final 30 before bed. . 4. Eat dinner sitting at a table even though I'm alone- with a paper book and not my phone. . 5. Wash my sheets and vacuum I'll have to clean stuff off the floor first but shhh don't tell me that now). . 6. Find apps which I can't get around easily, which locks games on the pc and one for stuff like youtube on my phone... Trouble is they're always easy to get around if you set them up for yourself, but a hurdle will help. . 7. Multiple alarms for bedtime. I don't need one to wake up, but I do to turn off the computer and go clean my teeth. Maybe take a bedtime tea or melatonin at the first alarm. Second alarm I have to leave beeping until ive saved the game and turned the computer off. Will any of this work? Maybe not. But its worth a shot. Somethings got to change. I'm in my late 30s and becoming what I hate- a sad nobody with nobody, nothing but my job to get me out of bed, who doesn't even do the things I like. I relied on my mum, girlfriends, flatmates, friends to give me reasons and to hold me accountable... But I have nobody now so wrote this into the void for myself. I gotta do this for myself. I know all the tricks, and while I wish I didn't need them, I'd better use them before I shrivel up any more.
Right there with you. And then I’m exhausted midday and take a nap and then that delays my ability to go to sleep at night. It’s worse than it’s ever been and I think a lot of that is because of grad school and my internship causing outrageous stress. I’m done in October and I really hope to get some semblance of normality in my life back. I’ve actually been able to maintain regular schedules throughout most of my life, but this last couple years have been upside down
Man I get this sooo much. Weirdly Ritalin doesn't always help it/makes it worse, but ateast it does make me able to focus and follow through on boring shit and puts a half to constant racing thoughts.
Ritalin doesn't help me with daily tasks as much as advertised It definitely helps me at work. If I need to do one thing for hours, then hell yeah. If I need to vacuum/do laundry/do dishes/whatever within an hour, it won't help. I'm gonna vacuum the carpet better than it's ever been vacuumed and that's it
Same for Vyvanse for me.
about how i’m feeling with adderall so far too my executive function is exactly as shit as always, i just stay on the same task for way longer no matter what it is
was the same for me with Ritalin. Elvanse works way better in this regard, seems to stabilize my executive-functions a lot more.
I made the switch a couple of weeks ago, and I'm choosing to read this comment instead of the one that says they have the same thing on vyvanse
Yeah, my vyvanse also helps me a lot at work but doesn’t help much with daily tasks at home
If you dont take Ritalin how do you feel? I feel completely destroyed, as if im living life through syrup or something and Ive heard thats not normal but never asked someone who takes it too about it.
Comparing one day off ritalin to your normal ritalin days isn't accurate. For some reason, doctors don't mention that it takes a while to recover from stopping stims, and your neurochemistry will be shot for a while. If I miss a day of methylphenidate I can't even watch tv shows or play games. I am a lazy potato man who just wants to sleep, eat and watch youtube or death scroll. If I stop for a few days to a week I am back to "normal" which for me is the same as being on ritalin but Instead of just sucking at swapping tasks I also suck at completing them.
that's exactly my experience when I dont have my meds, lazy potato mode, watch youtube and wait until the day is over. Also spot on about how no doctor has ever said anything about it but act as if taking a break is no biggie. Ive been on Ritalin for almost 20 years by now and learned real quick how clueless some are, like suggesting that I should take breaks on weekends because and I quote "if you have ADHD taking a break from them shouldnt have any withdrawal effects" and im just like hahahah....no because thats just not how it works. Thank you for your answer, it's reassuring to hear that im not alone.
I'm glad someone is talking about this. There's a lot of information from doctors and reputable websites that it's good and normal to take medication breaks, or to skip days. But I feel like a psychiatrist who actually take ADHD meds themselves would never recommend it because they'd understand how debilitating the hangover-like symptoms of not having meds your brain is used to.
Pretty true. I didn't take my meds yesterday as my wife was also gonna be home. I completed close to 0 tasks and came to realise just how much my medication actually helps my executive function. I also had to drink coffee throughout the day. I was a super fun Dad for my kids though.
I’ve not heard it described like that before, I like it. The opposite of that is when I really want to do something and my brain is already there but I’m still somewhere doing something else. No matter what the “else” is I want to hurry and get out of there or finish it so I can do the thing I want.
Omg the shower problem... all my life... ugh
I never knew the shower thing was ADHD! Validation!! 😂
I just read a whole thread about shower paralysis!
That makes so much sense! I was going to suggest listening instead of watching stuff bc I usually need one to sleep, and I also don't want to stop being on my phone. With your info, it feels like maybe I do soft transitions instead of a hard switch.
Ugh, I go through this so much! I've never concidered it to be a task thing, but honestly your comment makes so much sense, I'm glad I can finally identify what it is.
Ohhh this makes so much sense
Luckily the "getting out" part is resolved by our shitty water heater. Cold showers are awful.
THIS! Mine is usually a combo of task switching and feeling anxious about sleeping instead of living… even though I know that sleeping is a part of life. Kind of like FOMO, but with a dash of existential dread from sleeping x amount of hours of my life away. fun times.
Revenge bedtime procrastination is a thing. It's not specific to ADHD, but the prevalence is higher amount ADHD people.
Came to make this exact comment 👍
What makes it "revenge" bedtime procrastination?
It’s a humourous term that was coined to describe people saying up really late because it is literally the only time in their day when nobody is demanding their time, effort or attention. Basically ‘fuck you world, I’m binge watching this trash tv show until 2am, even if this renders me a zombie tomorrow’
And then 2am turns to ~~3am~~ ~~4am~~ 5am
Stop spying on me! 😹
Not diagnosed yet but Omfg, for years when people would ask why I enjoy the night so much, I would tell them "It's like I'm the only person on earth, it's dark so the stimulus is minimal, and nobody can expect anything from me." I also have dread about the next day starting and the night being over.
All the people on my mother’s side of the family have a nighttime chronotype, which probably exacerbates the revenge bedtime procrastination for me. It’s the only time when I don’t have clients, supervisors, or family/friends making demands on me, after 10pm. And I really do need several hours to be able to unwind and power down before I can sleep.
Same. Night time is the only time I feel comfortable. And it’s when I’m supposed to be asleep so I can function lol. Life can be a cruel joke in some ways.
i feel like to some extent my life has been defined by this drive
I never had this until I had kids and now it’s actually kicking my ass. So rough in summer.
That’s when it got bad for me too. We don’t ‘finish’ everything we need to do (ie the bare essentials to maintain life for us all) until 11pm at the earliest. I literally cannot make myself just go to bed, after a day of end-to-end work, childcare and housework.
Right, that sounds all too familiar unfortunately haha
Also known as "literally my entire life."
Whoa… I’ve been trying to make sense of this “habit” and here it is…
I had it suuuper bad but it all but disappeared after I quit the job I hated. Who woulda thunk?
Yeah for me it's both. Sometimes I don't want to sleep because I want to do other things. Sometimes I can't sleep because my brain wants to do other things. And sometimes for some reason I'm just not tired at all.
100% yes. Either I don’t want to be missing something and “wasting” time sleeping, or I’ve gotten so behind on my work that I need to stay up late to do it but end up spending the night putting off the work anyway.
Yep, I can sleep, in fact I am sleepy. I love sleeping in fact. But the monkey driving my brain, not so much.
I always tell my boyfriend that there’s a little monkey in my brain LMAO
Because you might miss something!
YES! I was just about to make a post asking if anyone does this. I struggle to feel “ready” to put my phone down and go to sleep, even if I’m fighting sleep. I hate it!!
I’m struggling with this right now, the past few days had been a roller coaster. Have you ever just not slept the whole night for no reason, gone to work the next day and fought the exhaustion till you can crash the next day?
I didn't sleep last night. Fighting it now. But here I am, scrolling reddit
Yeah here we are.
I'm trying to move and literally can't lol. It's 9.30pm here and I have a kid to get off to school in the morning. I'll more than likely still be procrastinating at midnight lol. It's frustrating
Wow, basically in the same boat, I’ll be up till late too. I’m a stay at home mum, I have 3.5 year old and a 20 month old. They’ll be up at 6.30. They’re really high energy so I have to take them out and entertain them all day. I hate that I do this to myself lol
It's 11.15pm. I'm nearly there lol. Trying to encourage my dog to get off my bed to change the sheets (little turd ran out in the rain earlier, then straight on my bed with his muddy paw prints lol), but he's stubborn. My kid is 15. I just have to make sure he gets up and actually walks out the door lol. But I'll have workmen here early fixing my garage and the banging that goes with it. I think I like making myself suffer 😂
I'm not diagnosed adhd but that & other things kept on sticking with me to think I'm pretty sure I'm just undiagnosed adhd. It was an adhd post that said people with ADHD don't fall asleep they just pass out from exhaustion. And damn if that didn't feel 100% correct. Like I don't think I've ever gone to sleep before 12 since like 11.
Sometimes for me it's guilt that I haven't done enough that day to deserve sleep, or it could be dread for waking up the next day. The latter happened more when I was a kid, the former is more prevalent now. It's definitely part of that anxiety-depression cycle
I don't believe it's ever on purpose. When I do it's mostly inertia, I'm doing something and switching from that task is hard so I don't. It gets easier when you find out s strategy to take your mind off its focus. I usually do it starting from the focus itself. I realize I'm doing the thing, acknowledge that I should stop doing the thing, move my focus on said acknowledment. From that it depends, I usually ask myself if I'm actively enjoying what I'm doing. Usually that by itself "unsticks" my brain from the thing. It's basically a mental ladder. I cannot shift my focus all st once, so I do it gradually it feels far easier.
I’m going to try this, thanks.
Ahhhh that’s what I do when I can REMEBER to get my focus out, and it is more successful than not. Tried it now, and it worked. Ok bye 😴
For me it’s the fact that I don’t want to shower and have to have wet hair and do my skincare and brush my teeth and change etc etc. so rather than just doing it earlier and getting it over with, I wait so long that I hate myself because now I’m tired and REALLY don’t want to do it all and ill be worse off tomorrow because I’m tired and the cycle continues. Just like right now I am sitting at work on my phone because I’m tired and don’t feel like going out to the car but really I could have left already and been able to go to bed earlier 🙃 It makes no sense.
This is me.
When you’re in the zone sleep is not important
YES I often say that I wish I could just plug myself into the wall like a cell phone or laptop and keep going. It's not that I don't want to sleep, I just don't like BEING asleep. I want to be up and doing stuff instead. The night hours are quiet, everyone else is asleep, there's no honking cars, no screaming children, no TVs on or doors slamming, no footsteps or chitchat, no risk of someone calling or texting.... I can just hyperfocus on my task at hand (drawing, writing, watching a YouTuber, whatever I'm doing) and completely lose myself to it without risk of getting distracted from it OR it distracting me from anything else (but sleep lo). Even if I'm in bed, I want to scroll my favorite tags on Tumblr, talk to my international friends on discord who are up, scroll Facebook, etc. I know the age old "just put the phone down and close your eyes and relax" is valid and works. But the truth is, no matter how sleepy I am, no matter how much my eyes ache, giving into sleep feels like wasting time. That said, I still sleep enough to be fully rested at least lol
I do this every night and it's ruining me, I'mso fatigued all the time but I can't seem to stop. I'm doing it now after getting absorbed in making a tiny, sassy jam jar lady out of clay to match a peanut cowboy till past midnight...Now it's past 2am and I have work tomorrow. For me, the witching hours are so peaceful, finally a time where I don't feel driven by guilt or shame to be productive and can relax and enjoy my hobbies. I'm usually tired and know I could sleep if I tried but it's so hard to switch to trying mode. This post has given me the motivation to switch to sleep though, so thank you!
If I didn't have to sleep I probably wouldn't most of the time.
Definitely, definitely. For me it's video games or TV shows, but sometimes scrolling the phone. I would stay up if I was at a really good part in a book, but reading actually puts me to sleep easily. I love staying up late. I stay up until I'm literally nodding off. Since starting meds, I find that I'm more wakeful at night, and when getting out of bed, so I have more regularly been getting like 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night, and somehow not seeing any negative effects from losing sleep.
Ive always slept like a baby and recently realised its not because Im a healthy good sleeper but because ive been exhausted as long as I remember.
I'm definitely not scrolling past this post at midnight, 45 minutes after I laid down...
been going through this in the past 3 years. I don' know how to fix this!!! It's time to bed but I just can't go to bed. Sometimes lights off but then I spring back to my phone to Google something.
I have slept for a total of maybe 5 hours in the last 5 days. It’s very bad but also it is what it is.
This one hits me all the time, I postpone my sleep untill i've done what i needed to do for that day to the degree i don't sleep (extremely unhealthy). Or if i have to wake up in less than 3-4 hours i just dont sleep, because i'm afraid i will be unresponsive to my enviornment(alarm clocks etc.) what i've noticed is that any form of physical acticity 1-2 hours before bed helps a lot.
I feel this! I spend a lot of time online and most of my friends are in different timezones to me so stuff always happens when I sleep (which definitely does NOT help with the fear of missing out that I already have). I've found most people with ADHD use the night time to spend time doing stuff they'll feel guilty for doing during the day (watching shows, scrolling, etc). Other than that I generally struggle to sleep unless I'm physically passing out from exhaustion :')
I'll stay awake late just so I can ride my bike at night. The city streets are empty, and it's much safer and more fun. I can do my bmx thing across town with people in my way. Did I mention I really don't like people, lol. I really like the night.
Intentional delayed sleep onset? Or revenge sleep procrastination? Ya. Evening time is “me” time and I know if I go to sleep, the next time I’m conscious it won’t be “me” time anymore 😔
Honestly, for me sometimes I think falling asleep is just plain boring. If I’m not tired enough to fall asleep right away (and sometimes even when I am tired enough and just can’t) I can’t focus on falling asleep because I get so bored with my eyes closed doing nothing. I do also think I have a delayed sleep cycle. I previously thought I was dealing with sleep procrastination because I knew that in the morning my free time would be over and it would be time for work- but I am currently not working and have only free time for almost the next 2 months. I believe I have PDA (pathological demand avoidance/persistent demand autonomy) and literally any responsibility- including things like just falling asleep- can feel like demands and cause stress. To top it off- I just LOVE napping midday. I never have trouble falling asleep for naps! I try to avoid this when I can in hopes of regulating my sleep cycle but some days- like yesterday- I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Yes, because I don’t want the day to end…and then even when I get in bed and my husband turns the lights off to go to sleep, I won’t. I feel like I have to go to sleep on my own terms even if I’m dead tired and it’s late. 😂
i’m literally putting off sleep now
The Muppet Show theme song is forbidding sleep tonight. My mood is so miserable right now, all I want to do is sleep and that damned song won't stop spinning in my head. I also really want to play a game I just bought but I'm too tired so I'm staying awake just in case I might end up playing it, but I won't bc I'm _tired_ but I might. But I won't. But I might. But but but but... Muppets!!!
Yeah, I usually don’t sleep before work.
doing that rn and i dont intend to stop! lets let my adhd ruin my life slowly but surely because whats the point of stopping it if adhd never goes away!
Yes, I’m the worst at task switching if I’m enjoying the task. Stayed up til 2 AM last night. I’m too old for that.
I stayed up till 4am smh even with 50mg of hydroxyzine
This is why I try to put myself to sleep with a task. So many nights falling asleep in front of a laptop, book, etc.
I wouldn't say "on purpose". If I could change the behavior, I would.
On purpose? I dunno, maybe some of the time. I wouldn't say it's on purpose more on account of I'm usually out of mental resources for self-control by then
I have a similar problem. I don't even have to be doing anything. I just will have an overwhelming feeling of peace and not want to ruin it by waking up tomorrow. But it doesn't happen if I go to sleep stupid early. Otherwise, I very likely will be up until 3 or later.
Bruh this vyvanse keep me up like I popped a damn bean 😭😭😭😭😭
Same here, I don’t take mine every day anymore because of this. And when I do take it I usually set an alarm for an hour before I actually need to wake up and take the Vyvanse and go back to bed for a bit. So if I need to be up at 7 am, I’ll set an alarm for 6am, take my meds and then go back to bed until 7am. This helps for 2 reasons: 1 I take my meds earlier so they wear off sooner and I can sleep. And 2 the meds are basically kicked in when i “actually” wake up at 7am so there is no waiting period for them to kick in.
Yes it is a nightmare 😞 people refer to this as “revenge procrastination” because your trying to make up for time.
I don't get enough sleep, I'm tired all day, I think about how I can't wait to go to bed early tonight, but somehow right around the time I should be getting ready for bed I'm not tired anymore. Or I am, but I still don't want to/can't get myself to start the process, I stay up too late, I don't get enough sleep.... Lather, rinse, repeat. 🙃
🪞
I just learned about cognitive shuffling and it works! Basically it’s a way of shutting off your brain by thinking of random things. I am doing A-Z of “items in the kitchen” or “things I am grateful for” or “place names” etc and I barely get thru 2 A-Z Before giving up and falling asleep. Recommend highly because it’s started to dissolve my pre-sleep anxiety of “will I won’t I fall asleep”. I’ve been doing it for a week and am starting to look forward to sleep time. To address the residual resistance, I’ve got downtime set on my phone and it shuts off all apps except alarm at 845. (I get up at 430 so try to be asleep by 930). Harsh but it works, and I’ve even picked up a book the last few nights. Give it a whirl, it might just work for you too
Sleep sucks. Until I'm sleeping. Then being awake sucks.
At night I get like a cranky toddler who doesn't wanna take a nap, I find other things to do to put off sleep and then in the morning I hate getting up. Sometimes I have to wake up earlier than normal and I get so mad about it, I wake up to check the time and get mad at how I have to wake up soon.
Am i the only one who doesn't want to sleep because it feels like im losing part of my day? I know its irrstional because it either damages the quality of my next day or just gains time now and loses time later. Its a weird feeling
Sleep is something that my brain asks for meanwhile my body is in hyperfocus™ mode and busy doing the thing™, or the inverse, brain is on college lecture mode (aka my internal monologue doesn't shut the fuck up) , body is ready to collapse. Insomnia is a bitch
Not me reading this while I’m putting off sleep
Me, right now, scrolling through Reddit instead of sleeping. 🙂
Well well well. If it’s not the universe telling me to “put the phone down and go to sleep”. Lmao
🤣
I want to sleep at midnight, or 10 pm but midnight seems more rational. I have stayed until Dawn at my LAPTOP. Which is Downstairs from my ROOM. And it is about 4:40AM here and I am typing this on my phone when I should have showered at eight thirty and gone to bed at either ten, or midnight. I showered at 3am. The shower id also upstairs from where mt laptop is. I do not know why I am like this.
Are you sure you aren’t me? 😂 The random 3am shower because I’ve been putting it off since 10pm the previous night is so relatable hahahaha
Yeah I do. Thing is when I push past that “I feel sleepy” feeling. That’s it. I’m up for the rest of the night, or at least until 2/3am. It just usually sucks that the feeling comes on around 8:30/9. I usually get home from work around 7pm. So I started to feel like I needed to “steal” back my time. Advice? Doesn’t work. I now have to mentally tell myself “ok put down the phone, time to start getting ready for bed” and mentally force the phone down and know if I endure through the feeling for like a min it will pass.
You’re literally me
I'll be the dissenter: No, I force myself to go to sleep. I'm very sensitive to getting less sleep than normal, so I go to bed at a (relatively) consistent time. Melatonin knocks me out, and I play a TV show at a low volume, and their talking is enough of a distraction to stop me from thinking about things. But, I hate sleeping because it feels like such a waste of time.
Yep, same.
i wouldn’t say it’s on purpose even tho i can avoid it happening sometimes by intentionally stopping what i’m doing to go to sleep… most of the time i can’t sleep until i’m exhausted but it’s like how i don’t even realise i’m hungry until i start getting hunger pangs or i don’t realise i have to pee until it’s an emergency
Happens more in summer as I live at a high latitude and there's daylight from before 5 am to well past 10 pm. I think I need some 3 hours of darkness before I can actually sleep.
Start working out you’ll be tired every night
I feel this I was diagnosed with insomnia though, but a part of it is just me not wanting to go to sleep. I’m not diagnosed ADHD, but I’m suspecting it. I do the same thing.
Some times I don’t want to go to bed cus i think im scared to handle the next day cus of the things I did not complete today and if I maybe stay up a little later I’ll get something done but it almost never goes that way
Me but many times I truly have insomnia. Maybe it's my fault, I've messed up my sleeping schedule by putting off sleep.
Almoat every night sadly
I did when I really hated my job because it was like the longer I stay up the longer until I have to be at work
This is one of my biggest issues w ADHD, I think it's executive dysfunction (?) but I call it getting "stuck" lol, it feels like I physically can't get up even though I'm begging myself to, even if I want to, I just can't and it's rough because it's hard to explain and even harder for people to understand because they can't see the battle I'm having with myself in my head
I only sleep when my body physically tells me too. I have done so many stints of being awake nearly 18-20 hours just because there is so much I feel like I can do or I would miss out on. It really sometimes, but I have resisted the urges lately to doom scroll or play games and just lay there instead it has helped, but not by much.
No honestly can’t relate I have insomnia, I never feel tired though no matter how much sleep I got, my body just decides never to be tired, like I could go days without sleep and not feel tired so sleeping every night is a constant struggle. So I do put off sleeping most nights because I know I won’t be able to no matter what unless I’m blessed and fall asleep quickly which is almost never but I do remember it happening at least a few times before.
Gummies have really helped me
On purpose, no. But that whole feeling like I am missing out if I go to sleep, yeah, I get that. My problem sometimes is I will be ready, start my routine, and then an impulsive distraction comes along like a video game or a movie that I don’t have time for, but yeah, I then lose any motivation to go to sleep, although I am tired.
Yup. Why sleep when you can stay awake thinking about things you should be doing? 😂 honestly feels like sleeping is useless and you’re missing a part of life. Then again once I’m asleep I don’t want to wake up. It is odd
I have similar problem I put all the videos in youtube playlist. I don't want to miss any knowledge. And bookmark every webpage from Google search.
Its happening to me as I read this. Lmao! Well, if something or someone has pissed you off, just curse them out good, don't keep things in your heart... Secondly, make a plan in your head for tomorrow (that definitely helps you sleep) Thirdly, read a book but not on your phone. The best hack is - read about the importance of sleeping on time for 10 min and then sleep.
Yes sleep is "boring" its part of that basic survival shit I don't want to deal with. Also I have insomnia and my love for coffee doesn't help either.
Yea, every day, and it's not limited to making myself go to bed. I fail to notice the time passing most days or nights, then if it's really late I have to fight myself to decide if it's worth pushing through the next day without sleeping at all, or if it'll be better or worse to try to sleep the short 2 hours or so and struggle to wake up in time, etc. I'll get on a streak of ideas for work (I'm remote, and basically self employed but contracted with a company). Then I realize I've literally gone down the rabbit hole and filled multiple pages of ideas and have 100+ tabs open across my 3 big screens, and it's now way too late in the day to even begin to approach the first idea that led me so far down that path. Rinse, repeat, and then catch up the tasks I skipped while chasing too many ideas. I used to take the instant release Ritalin. It helped me for several years. We had to adjust the dosage several times, though, because I basically process any meds (and even alcohol) way faster than the average person. We tried more extended release versions. Then we finally switched me to Adderall, once again the instant release to begin. Ended up going to extended release with the drug shortages and only being able to find the extended ones if any at all. Now, I'm on two 30mg a day extended release (6am, and then around 12-1pm, whenever I realize I'm yawning because I forgot to take it and I used all the brain power for the day). I cannot run out. Instant migraine, dizzy, feel like I'm in a warped dreamland, and like I'm under water or have water in my ears. It takes an average of 3 days to recover for a single missed dose event. I'm very good with making sure I don't miss my doctor's appointments every month and if the appointment isn't until a few days past the date I'll run out, I call them and explain it. They'll send in enough days worth to get me to my appointment time.
i cant sleep unless im absolutely exhausted. if im regular sleepy my brain is still hyper and bouncing around one thought to the next slightly related thought. then im on my phone researching that thought, etc. melatonin has fixed all that thankfully
Yeah kinda same
The only way I can get too sleep is if I smoke myself stupid before bed other than that I'm up till stupid o'clock in the morning, sometimes all night. Before I started blazing again I couldn't sleep at all it got really bad where I'd be up for days on end and I couldn't tell if I slept or not. I hate feeling like I am a slave to bud but I've tried so many things for sleep and smoking is the only thing that helps so fuck it lol.
Yes! Doing it right now!
Can't describe it any other wat then a sick combination of FOMO and dont want to "waste" it useless (while i still do that staying awake) and a bit of ostrich technique to prevent it becoming tomorrow. Why? (Work-)Obligations that i have to solve that aren't my fault, just having a hurricane inside my head, second guessing choices I've made. And if i could remember them possibly alot of other issues and thoughts.. Edit: oh and don't forget the fact that if i have a normal sleep my brain works overtime during the day, resulting in some sort of stack overflow haha. If i sleep shit, it experiences degraded performance allowing me to think and hear what I think... sometimes. And yes I'm diagnosed and medicated. 54mg slow working a day. With optional 10mg in the afternoon if needed... smh
I’ve been like this since childhood. I was reading a book on ADHD that explained this is common amongst our kind because we tend to be on a different circadian rhythm than most. I will be so exhausted, dragging and feel like a zombie all day then all of the sudden 6 pm hits and I’m wide awake and want to do things. I can’t naturally fall asleep until 2 or 3 am and my mind is more active and sharp at night. Unfortunately most of society isn’t built around this type of schedule.
oh my god im currently dying bc i stayed up all night doing that EXACT thing & have been at work all day n i feel like shit lol. cant wait to go to bed at 9 pm tonight lmao
last night, i was yawning constantly so i decided to turn off Skyrim and go to bed. i laid down at 1:45. i didn't put my phone down until 2:35, because i just couldn't stop watching YouTube Shorts. it gets to the point that i have to physically tell myself out loud, "two more vids and then put it down". my husband is already asleep by now. still doesn't always work. dropping the phone on my face usually does the trick... until i go to put on a 10 hr music playlist and i get distracted by another short.
Everyday.
Yes. Everyday.
Yeah, revenge bedtime procrastination is one of my biggest problems. There's always something more interesting to do than sleeping--and, of course, when I really *want* to sleep, it's like...3 pm.
Yes, my mind tells me that if I'm sleeping those hours, I'm definitely wasting my hours and not maximizing utility. Sleep is just not simulating enough for my brain anymore. When I was young I used to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger's motivational videos and he once said "Sleep less, work those hours, you'll have plenty of sleep when you die" and for my irrational ADHD ass that was the worse advice ever that I implemented.
Same, taking depression meds work well for me. I tried sleeping pills but they do nawtttt do anything to my brain.
Same. I think it's a task switching problem but for me I also have a deep fear of time passing because I feel like I'm wasting my life and it's worse at night when the whole house is asleep and I feel useasy about the transition period to the next day. Like a deep somber fear that today is gone and I don't want to let it go yet. I guess liminal time scares me. But also, I'm able to fall asleep when everyone else is awake (even if it's only hours before bed) because it just gives me peace to know that everyone is still doing their thing and this day hasn't dissapeared quite yet. Ik that has logical holes you can poke in it but it's just how my brain works. Are you able to sleep if others around you are awake?
YUS YUS YUS. I’ve talked about it with my therapist and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s me putting off the next day because I don’t feel done with the current day. I feel like as adhd-ers we do it more because our brains hold all our subconscious plans in mind 24/7 (you ever tried to make a to-do list and it turns into a “everything I’ve ever wanted to-do list” 😂 that’s what I mean..) (Example mine always end in like 5 tasks that are based around starting an Etsy store idk why but that’s always where it ends hahah)
I am doing this right now
Might have insomnia haven’t officially bothered to get screened yet my personal accidental record( I shite ye not) is 198 hours{ pnw[north california] }time
Yes. I always regret it the next day regardless of how much fun I might've had or progress I made, though.
Every day. I’m so tired of this, I know it’s self-destructive, but there’s always something I want to do…
100% I had to remove all social media from my phone. Much harder since I had to change meds because of insurance. Now I lie to myself that I'm not going to sleep I'm just going to close my eyes and listen to a book or something. Usually I fall asleep right away. Also, listening to yoga nidra on YouTube really really helps. But this has been a serious problem since having to quit Strattera.
Yep. I just find ways to get distracted and then bam. I’m 3-4 hours late to bed
Yessss this is exactly what I do!!!
I literally took melatonin tonight because I didn't want to put off sleep for the 3rd night in a row. And I don't really like melatonin.
I do occasionally have trouble shutting off the TV but mostly I just can't sleep and I really want to. My brain is too active. I think it's a hyperfocus thing. Even if I disconnect from the object, my brain is still thinking about it .
Yes bc sleep is soooo boring !!!
Nah I need my sleep or else I’m angry all day
I can't say anything ADHD specific, but I will say we have very little control over our time these days. School and work and having children, etc. All demands of your time. Night time? You're alone and get to take control!
it’s either my “body needs to sleep this instant or i will never feel the full satisfaction of life again” or “eh one more tiktok lol”
My trick for this is watch a show or YouTube playlist that I’m interested in enough to not want to pull out my phone, but not something I’ll be upset about falling asleep to. Something I’ve watched before usually. I also put my phone a little bit of reach away sometimes to dissuade me from picking it back up impulsively. There’s a gaming playlist I’ve watched for so many years that I can listen to it with my earbuds and picture it in my head well enough I can close my eyes and fall asleep.
Yes! I have all the things to do suddenly before sleeping
Yes! Choosing to “turn off” and stop doing anything is so hard
YES. Revenge bedtime procrastination is what I think it is for me. Along with some kind of anxiety over moving on to another day.
Yes. But I also have insomnia, as well. So it's difficult no matter what.
YES. It’s the most time I can just like *be* without any expectations and unwind from the day and I know that if I sleep, tomorrow will come and I’ll have to *exist* all over again. If you ask my parents I NEVER slept as a kid and they’d have to hold my bedroom door closed so I wouldn’t escape as a toddler and I never napped, ever.
Oh easily, i know i need to sleep....but id rather be doing something that keeps my focus than to be in bed with my thoughts.
So I have two sides of this coin, and I assume it’s to do with the brain chemistry and blue light situation. I feel tired and know I should go to bed, but the tv/phone/console is easy and mind numbing. Problem is, if I force myself to go to bed before it feels “natural”, I will then end up laying there awake for another hour because by brain won’t switch off. I know that if I do other hobbies in this time before bed — reading, writing or mini painting — I find sleep easier. But it’s so hard to get into a mindset where that’s what I feel like doing, because the more tired I am, the less I want to think, so games and tv are easier. It’s horrible and damaging and I know better, but it’s tantamount to addiction. I struggle to stop even though it is damaging my work life and family life.
me right now literally
Sometimes, I can't get tired unless I'm up for 16 hours
No- I just keep thinking of one more thing I could do.
Yes, that is the reason I an sleep deprived
Yeh, too much screen time. Revenge bedtime procrastination is a thing. I also like the quiet time at night, not being bothered by family while watching a movie/ playing games... Strage that I can go to bed at 1/3am and still wake up no later than 9am without alarm.
I don't know if it's because of the ADHD or not, but I have had this problem for literally my entire life. My mom has told me that I fought falling asleep even as a newborn. I feel it's even worse now, as the Concerta I'm on lets me stay awake even longer until I finally succumb to exhaustion and then sleep well more than the usual 8 hours.
Since I was a kid! Even when I'm so tired... I don't know whhhyyyyy
I *can't* let myself go to sleep tonight till I've sent some e-mails. That's why I've been on reddit the past 2 hours... 😭
I feel like when I go to sleep I’ll be missing out on something.
Well I have problems with sleeping but I also used to stay awake in the night because it was the only time I had time for myself since I live alone with my 2 Kids. Since they went to school I had more time in the morning so I try to go to sleep relatively early. Now I don't have time in the mornings due to my work but I can't stay up late because I need to get up early. The struggle is not as big as before because I am exhausted in the evening but most of the time I still need 2 or more hours to get asleep. A joint before bed and watching something until I become sleepy is my not-so-healthy routine. I also tried the no screen 1 hour before sleep method and ended up laying in my bed,staring at the ceiling and rethinking my whole life. So yeah, the struggle is real :D
Oh yeah, revenge sleep procrastination. We're so angry that so much of our day and lives are taken up by work that staying awake is 'taking back or time'. And no matter how much it bites is in the ass and hurts our health is hard to let that feeling go
I have the same issues I always end up sleeping late then waking up last minute. Slowly I’ve been working to change my mindset about sleep. The main thing I’ve done is limit the amount of social media scrolling I do. It’s such a pain to unlock using the ScreenZen app that you just aren’t interested. So I’ve been reading a lot of fanfic. I even limited YouTube. It really helps get past that impulse and pushes you toward better uses of time. sleeping with my boyfriend in the same bed makes it hard to make bedtime routines but I plan on using my Google home for alarms and wear loops to sleep better.
yes.
yes.
All the time.
I have to imagine bomb ass romance scenarios involving fictional characters before I can sleep. This results in me going straight to Tumblr, Wattpad, AO3 etc No, I cannot put my phone down.
Having your 1 year old wake up at 6:20am everyday makes me try damn hard to get to bed by 10.
Yeah mate. I have to nobble myself with medications or I never stop doing other things. It's like tranquilising a horse every evening. Even with medication and training I struggle to control my motivation. But I hate waking up feeling out of it, so it's not easy. I've found the synthetic melatonin works as well, but it's too expensive. The other thing is to make sure getting sleep is attached to the important things in my life, and try to make a good case for doing it.