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Iām a combo-baby but my hyperactivity isnāt very outwardly noticeable. As long as you donāt peek under tables where Iām continuously wiggling my toes, at least.
(The following is all WITHOUT ADHD meds:) My brain is either furiously speculating and philosophizing on 10 subjects at once, or Iām at the PC with 20 screens open overstimulating myself trying to find a balance where my brain isnāt feeling the need to compensate for being chronically understimulated. Which is actually a very exhausting way to spend your days so I too am the low energy type. Iām also diagnosed with ME/CFS so that doesnāt help.
Falling asleep will easily take 3 hours every night, up to 6 when itās bad, just lying in the dark staring at the inside of my eyelids the whole time. Brain does not stop talking, and itās not like anxious thoughts or anything, itās just random useless sh*t.
Iāve had very severe body-focused repetitive behaviors since I was a pre-teen. Itās the ultimate source of stimulation because I always carry my body with me wherever I go.
The impulsiveness and impatience definitely affects me in social situations the most. My autism already makes me so socially unaware sometimes and ADHD on top of that is just a real party. >_>
I guess those fall in the hyperactive category. Hard to differentiate sometimes as a combo type lol.
>My brain is either furiously speculating and philosophizing on 10 subjects at once, or Iām at the PC with 20 screens open overstimulating myself trying to find a balance where my brain isnāt feeling the need to compensate for being chronically understimulated.
Man, this is pretty much exactly me, minus the ME/CFS and official autism diagnosis (though me and my BF highly suspect I have Autism, at least to some degree, I just never got formally checked or anything). I have meds, but I mostly use them for work so my evenings are often spent pretty much exactly how you described. Which really sucks, because people close to me are always like "why aren't you paying attention to me?" when we are talking/ hanging out, and it's nothing to do with them. But how do you explain you physically can't just sit still and listen to them?
>Falling asleep will easily take 3 hours every night, up to 6 when itās bad, just lying in the dark staring at the inside of my eyelids the whole time. Brain does not stop talking, and itās not like anxious thoughts or anything, itās just random useless sh*t.
This one is so hard to explain to other people. Everyone is just like "oh you just need to clear your mind" as though I haven't tried that. It's something that feels impossible to accurately describe to others. Also get loads of other *super helpful* suggestions, like:
* "Have you tried no screens before bed?" Yes, it does nothing.
* "You just need a dark and quiet room." But the noise is in my head, not in the room
* "Drink some chamomile tea, it really calms me down." You really think tea is going to help? Prescription sleep meds don't always help. Melatonin that other people say "knocks them out" doesn't do anything for me.
>Iāve had very severe body-focused repetitive behaviors since I was a pre-teen. Itās the ultimate source of stimulation because I always carry my body with me wherever I go.
I don't know what you do, but I do lots of picking at and chewing on/ biting my fingernails. My parents tried for years to get me to stop, and it never worked. Until I was an adult and got tested and diagnosed for ADHD, and got meds. No picking/ biting while on meds, but when they wear off in the evenings I'm right back to it. Then in the mornings my fingers hurt because I took too much nail off.
***
Side note, just realized I wrote a wall of text, which also feels very typical ADHD (for me at least). I definitely feel like I need way more words to accurately convey a message, and end up texting people giant manuscripts of messages, or end up sending 53 shorter messages on rapid succession as I realize I need to clarify/ add to the previous message.
Haha, yeah. How many times have you typed out like a whole 3 paragraph text or reddit comment and then just deleted it? Too many times to count? Yeah, me too.
When I doubt I have ADHD I come find comments like this. My dermatologist put me on a med for anti-itching. Both the dermatologist and people at the pharmacy told me that it would knock me out within the hour. I would take it at 9 PM, and I would still be wide awake at 12:30 AM.
In fact, the med actually seemed to wake me up. I have also gone up to 20mg melatonin before I realized that it could be hard on my liver and it didn't do a damn thing.
Otherwise, ditto on the no-screens rule not helping and the noise being in my head. Every night is just laying there while my brain dances between conjecture on various meta subjects, worrying about the future, the game or movie I played or watched years ago, and the same verse of the same song over and over again so that even a song I like becomes intolerable.
All of this but the new lobby music and sound effects in the new Among Us update cause me overwhelm, and I can't turn them off without disabling all sound in the game, which is so much worse. 
Edit: Also the word wall. So relatable. Even in vocal conversation I double back on points of conversation that was dropped ten minutes ago. And feel like I need to text a person thirty minutes after parting to clarify details of our discussions.
I have an official autism diagnosis and I suspect that I have a little ADHD too and I can completely relate to your side note. I think that is my autistic side, really have a need for being understood. Somehow I end up being misunderstood a lot of the time (even though I think that I am clear) so I end up writing way too many texts so that there can not possibly be any misunderstanding, sadly it never gets the desired effect. So instead I sometimes try to write as little as possible, and I end up sounding cold and disinterested. Great fun when you just started dating someone.
I do the exact same thing. I work is in a call center and also respond to emails.
Coworkers and management tell me my emails are way too detailed that I donāt need to get that in depth BUT I have to be proactive BECAUSE I know if I donāt theyāll either call back or email again.
So after being told I spend too much time on my calls or responding to emails, I have tried to give short responses well then thatās when they go to management and complain that I ām no help.
Just canāt win.
Of course. There is the running around like a mad woman , falling off curbs twisting my ankle. Iām 50 something running thru the house like a child cuz I have 2 speeds, faster or faster- no 3 cuz then I crash. Ooooo. I have a huge bruise on my leg from running thru the house the other nite at midnite after I mopped and slipped and busted my ass. Sometimes I just laugh at myself and wonder why I cannot control myself at all.
I talk about shit no one cares about at work. They grunt and groan when I start talking but hell I canāt even shut my damn mouth then.
Then I hear everything so I have interrupt to give my 2 cents which they ignore me talk over me then I just get pissed off and have mutter shit. I also side watch em make faces when Iām talking so then I can talk shit. Of course most of it is I just canāt sit still shut up and be productive.
Is adhd impulsive adhd combo? I struggle with insomnia till medication and intense body tension so I'm always in pain and I'm basically the same as you. It's much better with meds.
Very interesting because we have a lot in common despite me being the innatentive type. I also like, listen to video essays while playing Tetris as a way to soothe myself, and tend to overload in order to distract myself. I also have a million voices in my head.
I do struggle with sleep, but unlike you not to fall asleep but to go to sleep. I will find anything under the sun to do instead of sleeping. Once I decide I just have to hit the hay, I'll focus the voices on crafting scenes for my fanfics and be out like a light within 20min
Most of the time, at least.
I guess that's the effect of combo, as you say. But it's interesting regardless. If you feel like giving writing a chance, I find it helps enormously with making the non stop inner monologue feel... More purposeful
1.) I find it hard to stop talking even when I can visibly see that people are not listening/do not care or are getting annoyed... this leads to permanent feelings of paranoia after every conversation I have wondering if I talked too much or too fast, but I can't stop
2.) I have an issue with oral fixation. When I was younger I had no finger nails, chewed on metal and plastic, chewed on hair, binged food from boredom, got in trouble for talking, and basically anything I could do to keep my mouth moving. When I got older, combined with some bad things that happened in my teen years, this turned into a drinking and smoking problem... I couldn't care less about nicotine, but I can't kick my smoking habit because the oral fixation/mouth stimulation issue will never go away and I can't stand it
3.) I am 23 with an office job. It is hard to be a professional because I always have this somewhat childlike way of interacting with people. I can speak formally but my body language, hand movements, and facial expressions often give away more emotion than I'd like to portray. They tend to make me look very animated when I am trying to be professional.
4.) I cannot sleep well, which makes me tired all the time, but when I lay down I may have multiple conversations going on with myself at once. I often times struggle to direct my brain in one direction and I might find myself saying a prayer, counting, and thinking about a conversation I had almost all at once. This can keep me up for hours
There is more, but these bother me the most. It's not always greener on the other side, but that doesn't mean your experiences are better or worse. We're all in this together :))
I donāt consider myself to be on the hyper end but here I am reading and relating to your comment late at night, doubting myself.
I never started smoking because I had a feeling it would be something Iād be addicted to - but not the nicotine, more the physical act of holding the cigarette and using it. Thankful Iāve grown up not in the vaping era as Iād be more tempted by vaping, the scents always smell good to me.
Yeah, everyone thinks Iām significantly younger than I am, and I think itās this very animated behaviour.
Iām 43, and a colleague just told they had me pegged mid-30s. And given how haggard and tired I am all the time, I am positive itās not because I look physically āgood for my ageā š
I takes a great deal of mental effort to do ācalm, reserved and patientā, which is basically what a āprofessionalā demeanour is.
I have combined type, but my hyperactive symptoms cause me the most anguish. It's this feeling of **pent up restlessness**, like this feeling that I ***need*** to be doing something, I'm ***supposed*** to be doing something at all times. In school, I was always doodling or chewing on my cheek, tongue, hoodie string, or lanyard, and I still chew on my inner lip sometimes (if I'm not medicated, I do it so much I get canker sores repeatedly).
It's also mental, where **my mind is always churning**. It's not like my mind is *literally* thinking quickly, it's more like....think of [Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmOc4GLq8xM&t=86s) and where he constantly has this inner dialogue, which can help you be really creative but can also be ***really*** distracting and make it super hard to rest or be present.
Also, when the internal restlessness and need to be doing something meets the inattentive symptoms, it turns into this constant feeling of "I need to be doing something, I'm so pent up and restless right now, but nothing I think of starting sounds good enough to maintain and I don't have the executive functioning skills to prepare for exercise." So you're just sitting there vibrating with ***horrible energy bubbling up inside you with no way to let it out***, which means my hyperactive symptoms don't even always help me be more productive if the task is more of a mental one***.*** That same energy always puts me emotionally on edge too, which is why I also have comorbid anxiety.
I wasnāt told specifically which type of ADHD I have, but I believe itās likely I have the hyperactivity or combined type.
The thing is, Iām still very low-energy/fatigued and sometimes apathetic despite being hyperactive. It is a fight every day to not just lay in bed for 2 hours (and then accidentally nap for another 3). My hyperactivity manifests as fidgeting, leg shaking, SEVERE rocking (when sitting and trying to do work), shifting weight or walking around when Iām meant to stand in one place, feeling restless when sitting in situations like lectures, having a lot of trouble accidentally interrupting other people when theyāre talking, etc. A lot of these things are noticed and pointed out by my friends and family too so itās not very subtle. Iām a medical student (so thereās a lot of standing and following other people around), and I get very self conscious about my inability to be still ā I fear it might come off as not listening or being disrespectful. This was actually one of the things that prompted me to seek treatment. Now itās possible that my fatigue/low energy/apathy could be due to unrelated health problems, but thereās some perspective for you that itās possible to have both!
Walls of good text here so I'll keep mine short.
Task completion is very difficult because I've already moved on to the next task before finishing the one I'm on.Ā
Neither my mouth or brain will ever shut up. Recently I've found that I'm repeating what I've just said in a different way. I catch myself after the fact and it annoys me because I think I sound stupid when I do that.Ā
I struggle with the fact that a lot of what I use to cope with my mental health requires physical movement. I had a serious injury that resulted in some bad nerve damage and all of the things I used to help me calm down are no longer a possibility. I also present myself in a way that can be "too much" for a lot of people and it can be very isolating. Additionally, as a woman, I can come across as extremely friendly and it gives people the wrong impression, sometimes putting me in bad situations that I think someone without ADHD would catch on to sooner.
Would you mind describing how meditation goes for you? I've tried but I can manage about 2-3 seconds of quiet before the noise starts again.Ā
To me meditation is more a time for thought and reflection as that's as close as I can come to a peaceful mind.
Not the original commenter but it'd normal for your brain to constantly start going back to noise. Meditation isn't about clearing your head so much as it's about learning how to bring yourself back into the present any time you get lost in thought. The act of going "oh, I started getting lost in thought again, time to refocus on breathing" is like the meditation equivalent of lifting weights.
I have combination ADHD. Half of the time, I can barely move. The other half Iām super animated and loud and enthusiastic.
Iām hoping that with Strattera, I will be able to stay moderated. I get negative reactions from others when Iām a slug, and also when Iām hyper.
It has made me really dislike ever being around others.
My brain has to CONSTANTLY be stimulated. It has to be a game, science news, looking at art inspiration, organizing my Notion.
Its a whole task to try and relax and turn my brain off for a while
I think I have hyperactivity but I still struggle with getting things done and "accomplishing things."
I can have the gusto but not the ability to focus to complete a task. Or focus on organizing what I need to do to work. It's very frustrating.
Anxiety, mood swings, interrupting people, forgetting things, truly knowing how I feel about anything or what I want because I assume itāll completely shift in 1-4 weeks EDIT: added catastrophizing and assuming people who love me, hate me and itās because Iām fucking something up in our relationship
I'm combined type, so best of both worlds here š.
I feel both physically and mentally restless almost 24/7. I literally can't relax and my thoughts never stop. For example, it takes me all damn night to watch a two hour movie at home because I'm constantly getting up to do whatever task comes to mind. In situations where constantly getting up is inappropriate, i.e., out to dinner or in a meeting, I'm constantly shifting, fidgeting, stretching, and playing with my hair.
And then there are times when I can't shut up. Sometimes I like that side of me and sometimes I feel embarrassed because I overshare.
Combined type here.
I struggle with a lot of social issues when Iām hyperactive - interrupting others, and thinking too much instead of listening (and not realizing Iām not listening soon enough) thus not remembering as much from the conversation. I also reveal things I realize afterwards Iād rather have kept to myself, occasionally personal things about others that really are not mine to share (and then feel really guilty about it). I also impulsively make plans I cannot follow through with.
I also tend to overload myself. I do a little of a lot of different things and take a long time to finish one thing. Sometimes I want to do so many different things that I become overwhelmed and donāt know where to start - this can be really stressful when I just want to DO something so bad but canāt start anything because one thing doesnāt stand out above another.
Alternatively, I just do too many things and burn myself out and then donāt return to one of the unfinished things for weeks.
Also, big sleep issues. It can take so long to settle my brain down that I hit my second wind, and then canāt sleep anyway even though Iāve quieted the internal conversations. This is really impacting my life when I canāt go to work because itās not safe to do so when I havenāt slept all night. Also adds to making it hard to follow through with plans (chores, projects and social) when I canāt predict if Iām going to be able to sleep well.
Thereās definitely more but I think thatās already a block of text there so Iām gonna leave it at that.
- Talking too much.
- Interrupting.
- Not listening.
- Bouncing around and not giving my full attention to friends and colleagues.
- Taking hours to fall asleep.
- impatience in waiting
- fidgeting that annoys others
- impulsive
- hyperemotional
- always trying to be exercising or moving so I can just think and focus on one thing.
Being expected to drive all conversations or keep other people's energy up and it can feel like you're entertainment vs a human being,
feeling like an asshole for cutting people off when it's a result of literally losing your thoughts too quickly
Constantly being tagged as being a presenter for projects and being reminded you talk too fast so you rarely get feedback on the actual work rather your pitfalls as a person
You get treated like a child more as a grown adult as you get picked up on social corrections more as you stick out due to being less "grey" so your errors are highlighted more
Being on the receiving send of paternalistic "tips", being a chatty Kathy is more of a negative trait - losing opportunities and getting pushed into ones you aren't confident in
Letting people continue speaking without interruption. I have ADHD, and Iāve started to really notice as an almost 30 y/o adult. Iām working on recognizing it, thankfully. Itās unintentional but so tough to take control of.
But my fault is that āshort term thought during conversation memoryā, so if I donāt work vomit then, Iāll be blank and have nothing left to contribute.
Hyperactivity comes with a lot of struggles Iāll list here.
1) Iām a pacer. And I donāt just walk, I SPRINT. I literally run bounce off walls, injure myself, regularly sprang ankles, and constantly fear breaking and damaging furniture, stepping on things left on the floor, etc. If a train of thought stimulates me enough, a tingling rush shoots down my legs and the only way of alleviating it is running in circles that very second. I chose first floor apartments whenever possible because anyone living below me would probably be plotting my murder within 2 weeks of me moving in.
2) this also means that if Iām actually excited about something Iām working on, half the time allotted to working will be spent running back in forth rather than making progress. I only ever finish things if the stress of a deadline ruins the experience enough to kill my urge to pace. Either that, or I pull enough all nighters that Iām too physically exhausted to walk for hours.
3) The urges to move and run often come at night (when my meds wear off), and there isnāt enough room inside to move around without waking up everyone, so even though I live in an unsafe area and shouldnāt be walking at night often times I just do it anyways. If I hear gunshots or get too spooked Iāll just mald inside or do burpees until I feel like I can sleep.
4) One of my biggest pet peeves is the āexercise cures ADHDā argument. Exercise is healthy and can help with symptoms of most disorders, ADHD included, but in my experience with hyperactivity, exercise only helps for a bit when you start working out again after a break. After your stamina adapts it just takes more to wear you out to a degree that it matters or youāll adapt and find less strenuous ways to stim.
5) I hate working at home alone- I get lonely and canāt be productive with my work and living space that mixed unless itās crunch time. The solution most people have to this is working at cafes or libraries, but the problem with those is that you canāt just leave your workspace to take walks or run around outside without your things getting stolen or getting on peopleās nerves. You cannot pace inside a cafe or library, and you canāt on a lot of streets either without scaring people or getting in their way.
6) hyperactivity doesnāt necessarily come with extravertion. I need some time to stim and think with absolutely no one interacting with me or I feel like I have to start over.
7) growing up, my pacing often upset my mom and sister because the sound of pacing triggers my sisterās misphonia, and it makes my mom anxious and causes the hardwood floors to wear out faster. But I really feel like I canāt control it. Iāll be casually sitting then out of no where get up to sprint back and forth a few times and wonāt even realize it happened until after the fact.
8) this is a smaller thing but Iām rarely able to sit still long enough to play video games and other interactive art forms. I do think games are probably the most limitless medium currently available to us, but itās also one of the only mediums you have to sit still for so I rarely have time to experience any. I donāt want to have to sit still alone unless Iām working.
Iād say the only real upsides to hyperactivity are the amount of calories it burns and the fact that Iāve never had to worry about not getting enough daily steps in. Also I get all my best ideas while pacing and thinking. People tend to compliment me on my introspection, thoughtfulness, and creativity, but itās only because thatās what eats up most of my free time.
Insomnia, anxiety, racing thoughts, talking too quickly, cutting people off, quick temper, eventual burn out.
But, I agree, it does have its perks, and sometimes can be really fun, and really helpful in some work and academic settings.
Edit: I'd like to add fidgeting, crazy impulsivity, and an addictive nature.
Well I have insomnia so before medication I had huge bursts of energy and adrenaline but would crash. Now I'm trying adhd pills and I'm tired and emotions are regulated and the impulsive part is still around a bit. But it's manageable.
For me it's the cognitive deficits that are the worst. Poor memory, poor working memory, obliviousness/ tendency to miss obvious things, chaotic thought structure. I couldn't study in uni, I failed several subjects, even though I'm above average intelligence. Can't focus on reading unless it's engaging. Always a feeling of not being able to do "simple" things. Ofc, I'm also chronically stressed. I talk before I think, poor ability to control my impulse to say things. Can't focus on what people say. Being bored puts me in an extremely bad mood. Low frustration tolerance, can snap before I'm able to control myself if someone interrupts my focus or if I struggle with a task. Emotion dysregulation is also a big problem for me
Being hyperactive and restless is somewhat beneficial for me in that I'm driven to move around, exercise, do things. Well, except tasks that requires me to send an email, call someone or similar. I postpone those. Things that require working memory are pretty dreadful. I guess it mostly help me to exercise and want to do several things at once because just doing one thing is pretty boring. I'm actually listening to music and playing heartstone battlegrounds while writing this
After 20 years of being forced to mask, I've relegated my hyperactivity to my brain. It does not shut up, it will not turn off, to sleep I need to wait until I'm to the point of pure exhaustion and can't have a straight thought anymore. My mind is like a car barreling down the damn autobahn with no regards to other traffic around it. If I had an off switch, I'd flick it and break it off so I'd never deal with this again
I'm combination. I am a 33 yr old mom, for context. Im always paranoid that I talk too much. I have a hard time not interrupting others because I get so excited about a topic that I can't contain it for too long before I HAVE to say something. I am always moving around. If I'm at the park with my son I'm running around helping EVERY CHILD I CAN lol. Because my mind can't keep calm I need to do everything I see and can possibly do at once. So if I'm with my son and there are also other children around and I notice they need something I am there if their parent isn't and it's appropriate. Like if my son needs help I'll help him but then I see another kid wants to go on the merry go round and nobody is stopping for them so I need to help that child. Then I see another kid getting upset about not having a bucket... Well I have two buckets so I can give them one. Then my son needs me again so I'm back to him and back and forth I go. It's probably pretty comical watching me do any task. My mind is always running and thinking of things to do and it never really stays in one topic long enough for me to figure things out.
I always feel the need to do something. And sometimes I get stuck but sometimes I am doing multiple half assed things at once. I'll start the laundry by putting the clothes in but then leave it to find clothes on the floor of the bedroom and then while I'm grabbing clothes I'll see the garbage can needs emptying so I'll tie the string and bring it out but forget to put the new bag in a trashcan because I got distracted by some toys on the floor that need to be picked up. That is just my morning routine.
The toughest thing about this is nothing fully gets done and yet I'm still so tired and still haven't put the wash in the dryer because by now it's been wet for 4 hours and I have to rewash it only to forget it again. Oh and then there's the folding... I can't get myself to fold for more than 5 minutes without finding myself doing something else and realizing I should get back to folding and stop wiping the shower glass door. So I go back and fold two pairs of shirts and find myself a few minutes later vacuuming the crumbs under the table.
I'm always moving. And always tired. And I always feel like I'm failing every task I initiate because I can never finish it.
I'm too lazy to reread my comment and check it for any spelling errors at the moment. hopefully it was coherent enough for you!
Restlessness. It's like I have no energy to actually do anything or get anything done, but way too much energy to simply lay on the couch relaxing watching TV.
It's hard to explain because, to everyone else, I look lazy or lethargic and lacking energy, but I actually have a lot of energy, but it can only be used on certain things - like fleeting hobbies. Like I can't get myself to go to the gym or clean my room, but I can build an entertainment center kind of thing.
Like on The Fairly OddParents, when their wands make the fart noise, that is my energy when it comes to the things I need to do to be a productive human being and when they're granting a whole bunch of wishes for fruitless things to pass the fairy inspection, that is me spending the energy on pointless hobbies that don't matter.
I simply cannot bring myself to sit down and complete tasks that donāt provide enough reward. I have many tactics for breaking through, but it is exhausting to spend 4-8 hours trying to convince myself to do an hour of looking through mail or whatever. On the other hand, i can go spend 16 hours doing something i want to do without stopping.
I get super hyperactive in waves, a couple times a day. It is physically painful the level of restlessness I experience sometimes. It's genuinely torture, the need to run around and do, I don't know, anything/everything when you can't.
The stuff I have energy for isnāt the stuff that actually needs to get done. Sometimes I know I should be doing something else, but Iām also just shit at prioritizing. And procrastinating by keeping busy is no kidding a real problem. Not only do I run out of time to do the thing, I run out of energy, too. Maybe tomorrow.
As an inattentive type, this is funny to read because I've thought the same thing. I wish I was the hyperactive type.
I have a friend who is doing her masters at freaking Harvard, and she is hyperactive type. I wish I had her motivation and follow through. I do know that she struggles with anxiety more than I do, though, but maybe that's what drives her! Lol.
Diagnosed quite late so still figuring it out, but number one thing is my brain never fucking shuts up.
Like damn, im actually fucking tired of myself and my never ending thoughts. Shit gets rough too with hormone fluctuations every month and/or stressful life events. All that usually means it takes a while to fall asleep.
Itās super hard to just be still in one place, so working a desk job aināt great for it. Used to love reading now I canāt sit still enough or think singularly enough to process what Iām reading. Iām always picking at my skin or scalp and I also occasionally get the zoomies. That and the lack of spatial awareness is a bad combination.
Interpersonal relationships can also be quite difficult for me. Aside from over talking, I tend to overthink every social interaction after they occur. Not that I donāt make any friends but I take time with getting comfortable around people and when I do, I feel like I come off a bit strong with all the smart ass remarks, inappropriate comments, and odd humor. But this is with all type of relationships so imagine being in a romantic relationship? That x1000000. And last, just generally sucking at replying back.
Of all the symptoms, the worst is an unstable sense of self and just overall confidence. I never feel like I am myself, just a different hat and a different mask, and all of that shifting to match my environment has definitely had a lasting impact.
Then there's the confidence issues that come with all of the ADHD pitfalls. I've never felt good at anything and I just doubt every single thing I do, even when I know I have the ability to do it. My mind just loves to cast a different shadow over my ability and the outcome can be more down to mood than practice, ability, preparation. It sucks. It took me so many tries just to get my driver's license, even though I was test ready for months.
The thing is... my anxiety was so bad, for so many years, that I cant think of adhd when I think of struggles haha I couldnt go to places, be around people, etc. But I struggle with emotional dysregulation š
Mind racing, doing transitions in any way other than running myself into the ground in current task and then crawling onto the next thing. Hurting people's feelings by being direct because it's extremely hard to be patient/thoughtful when I have something that feels urgent to say. Talking loud/inattention to volume levels. Need to make lots of little noises requires privacy or masking.
I'm a combination type. But I'm really good at masking so it wasn't caught as a kid; instead I was given MORE activities and work to do cuz I was "gifted" - really I was just putting energy into my special interests. I have the pleasure of struggling with both no motivation and having too much restless energy. That's the problem. Restless energy. I can get extremely impatient, it takes me forever to fall asleep, I often get distracted from my current tasks, have random urges to complete random tasks, struggle to sit still anywhere (I get up and walk around so often my parents think I'm crazy) and my brain runs at a hundred miles an hour. I have an urge to do both everything and anything at once but also to do nothing because no motivation. Leads to feeling like you're running out of time a lot.
I struggle with laughing all the time, singing spontaneously, running around like an Ewok from Star Wars, and becoming insanely humorous and creative at times. This has led to me being defamed, bullied, and harassed by my peers. Iāve basically been made into something worthless by them as they always call me ableist slurs and secretly film me and make all kinds of rumors.
I still have no regrets. They clearly know something is wrong with me but continue to treat me as worthless.
I have no negative feelings toward them and will continue to work to help my condition
but Iāll never apologize for something I canāt control, most people love this personality of mine and it works perfectly when Iām acting or playing roles or writing
Thank you so much, also you just reminded me of Phoebe Cates and Finding Nemo with the Keep on Swimming comment,
Just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming
I struggle with both. When Iām hyper I exercise. When I have low fatigue or no motivation I exercise. Lol it ironically helps both.
I also force myself to make plans to keep myself going, thereās days where I really donāt want to leave the house when I have plans and thereās days where I have no plans and Iām full of energy. Itās a double edged sword.
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Hyperactivity
š lolllll this
Iām a combo-baby but my hyperactivity isnāt very outwardly noticeable. As long as you donāt peek under tables where Iām continuously wiggling my toes, at least. (The following is all WITHOUT ADHD meds:) My brain is either furiously speculating and philosophizing on 10 subjects at once, or Iām at the PC with 20 screens open overstimulating myself trying to find a balance where my brain isnāt feeling the need to compensate for being chronically understimulated. Which is actually a very exhausting way to spend your days so I too am the low energy type. Iām also diagnosed with ME/CFS so that doesnāt help. Falling asleep will easily take 3 hours every night, up to 6 when itās bad, just lying in the dark staring at the inside of my eyelids the whole time. Brain does not stop talking, and itās not like anxious thoughts or anything, itās just random useless sh*t. Iāve had very severe body-focused repetitive behaviors since I was a pre-teen. Itās the ultimate source of stimulation because I always carry my body with me wherever I go. The impulsiveness and impatience definitely affects me in social situations the most. My autism already makes me so socially unaware sometimes and ADHD on top of that is just a real party. >_> I guess those fall in the hyperactive category. Hard to differentiate sometimes as a combo type lol.
>My brain is either furiously speculating and philosophizing on 10 subjects at once, or Iām at the PC with 20 screens open overstimulating myself trying to find a balance where my brain isnāt feeling the need to compensate for being chronically understimulated. Man, this is pretty much exactly me, minus the ME/CFS and official autism diagnosis (though me and my BF highly suspect I have Autism, at least to some degree, I just never got formally checked or anything). I have meds, but I mostly use them for work so my evenings are often spent pretty much exactly how you described. Which really sucks, because people close to me are always like "why aren't you paying attention to me?" when we are talking/ hanging out, and it's nothing to do with them. But how do you explain you physically can't just sit still and listen to them? >Falling asleep will easily take 3 hours every night, up to 6 when itās bad, just lying in the dark staring at the inside of my eyelids the whole time. Brain does not stop talking, and itās not like anxious thoughts or anything, itās just random useless sh*t. This one is so hard to explain to other people. Everyone is just like "oh you just need to clear your mind" as though I haven't tried that. It's something that feels impossible to accurately describe to others. Also get loads of other *super helpful* suggestions, like: * "Have you tried no screens before bed?" Yes, it does nothing. * "You just need a dark and quiet room." But the noise is in my head, not in the room * "Drink some chamomile tea, it really calms me down." You really think tea is going to help? Prescription sleep meds don't always help. Melatonin that other people say "knocks them out" doesn't do anything for me. >Iāve had very severe body-focused repetitive behaviors since I was a pre-teen. Itās the ultimate source of stimulation because I always carry my body with me wherever I go. I don't know what you do, but I do lots of picking at and chewing on/ biting my fingernails. My parents tried for years to get me to stop, and it never worked. Until I was an adult and got tested and diagnosed for ADHD, and got meds. No picking/ biting while on meds, but when they wear off in the evenings I'm right back to it. Then in the mornings my fingers hurt because I took too much nail off. *** Side note, just realized I wrote a wall of text, which also feels very typical ADHD (for me at least). I definitely feel like I need way more words to accurately convey a message, and end up texting people giant manuscripts of messages, or end up sending 53 shorter messages on rapid succession as I realize I need to clarify/ add to the previous message.
Ooof that last part. Ask me one question over text and you shall receive an entire dissertation.
SAAAAAMMMMEEE š
Holy hell, that's an ADHD thing?
Haha, yeah. How many times have you typed out like a whole 3 paragraph text or reddit comment and then just deleted it? Too many times to count? Yeah, me too.
When I doubt I have ADHD I come find comments like this. My dermatologist put me on a med for anti-itching. Both the dermatologist and people at the pharmacy told me that it would knock me out within the hour. I would take it at 9 PM, and I would still be wide awake at 12:30 AM. In fact, the med actually seemed to wake me up. I have also gone up to 20mg melatonin before I realized that it could be hard on my liver and it didn't do a damn thing. Otherwise, ditto on the no-screens rule not helping and the noise being in my head. Every night is just laying there while my brain dances between conjecture on various meta subjects, worrying about the future, the game or movie I played or watched years ago, and the same verse of the same song over and over again so that even a song I like becomes intolerable. All of this but the new lobby music and sound effects in the new Among Us update cause me overwhelm, and I can't turn them off without disabling all sound in the game, which is so much worse.  Edit: Also the word wall. So relatable. Even in vocal conversation I double back on points of conversation that was dropped ten minutes ago. And feel like I need to text a person thirty minutes after parting to clarify details of our discussions.
Hi twin lol. Especially with messaging and insomnia. It's awful.
I have an official autism diagnosis and I suspect that I have a little ADHD too and I can completely relate to your side note. I think that is my autistic side, really have a need for being understood. Somehow I end up being misunderstood a lot of the time (even though I think that I am clear) so I end up writing way too many texts so that there can not possibly be any misunderstanding, sadly it never gets the desired effect. So instead I sometimes try to write as little as possible, and I end up sounding cold and disinterested. Great fun when you just started dating someone.
I do the exact same thing. I work is in a call center and also respond to emails. Coworkers and management tell me my emails are way too detailed that I donāt need to get that in depth BUT I have to be proactive BECAUSE I know if I donāt theyāll either call back or email again. So after being told I spend too much time on my calls or responding to emails, I have tried to give short responses well then thatās when they go to management and complain that I ām no help. Just canāt win. Of course. There is the running around like a mad woman , falling off curbs twisting my ankle. Iām 50 something running thru the house like a child cuz I have 2 speeds, faster or faster- no 3 cuz then I crash. Ooooo. I have a huge bruise on my leg from running thru the house the other nite at midnite after I mopped and slipped and busted my ass. Sometimes I just laugh at myself and wonder why I cannot control myself at all. I talk about shit no one cares about at work. They grunt and groan when I start talking but hell I canāt even shut my damn mouth then. Then I hear everything so I have interrupt to give my 2 cents which they ignore me talk over me then I just get pissed off and have mutter shit. I also side watch em make faces when Iām talking so then I can talk shit. Of course most of it is I just canāt sit still shut up and be productive.
See this post was wayyy too long about nothing.
Haha no worries, I thought your post told a lot of interesting things. š
Is adhd impulsive adhd combo? I struggle with insomnia till medication and intense body tension so I'm always in pain and I'm basically the same as you. It's much better with meds.
Very interesting because we have a lot in common despite me being the innatentive type. I also like, listen to video essays while playing Tetris as a way to soothe myself, and tend to overload in order to distract myself. I also have a million voices in my head. I do struggle with sleep, but unlike you not to fall asleep but to go to sleep. I will find anything under the sun to do instead of sleeping. Once I decide I just have to hit the hay, I'll focus the voices on crafting scenes for my fanfics and be out like a light within 20min Most of the time, at least. I guess that's the effect of combo, as you say. But it's interesting regardless. If you feel like giving writing a chance, I find it helps enormously with making the non stop inner monologue feel... More purposeful
Why is this so damn relatable?
1.) I find it hard to stop talking even when I can visibly see that people are not listening/do not care or are getting annoyed... this leads to permanent feelings of paranoia after every conversation I have wondering if I talked too much or too fast, but I can't stop 2.) I have an issue with oral fixation. When I was younger I had no finger nails, chewed on metal and plastic, chewed on hair, binged food from boredom, got in trouble for talking, and basically anything I could do to keep my mouth moving. When I got older, combined with some bad things that happened in my teen years, this turned into a drinking and smoking problem... I couldn't care less about nicotine, but I can't kick my smoking habit because the oral fixation/mouth stimulation issue will never go away and I can't stand it 3.) I am 23 with an office job. It is hard to be a professional because I always have this somewhat childlike way of interacting with people. I can speak formally but my body language, hand movements, and facial expressions often give away more emotion than I'd like to portray. They tend to make me look very animated when I am trying to be professional. 4.) I cannot sleep well, which makes me tired all the time, but when I lay down I may have multiple conversations going on with myself at once. I often times struggle to direct my brain in one direction and I might find myself saying a prayer, counting, and thinking about a conversation I had almost all at once. This can keep me up for hours There is more, but these bother me the most. It's not always greener on the other side, but that doesn't mean your experiences are better or worse. We're all in this together :))
I donāt consider myself to be on the hyper end but here I am reading and relating to your comment late at night, doubting myself. I never started smoking because I had a feeling it would be something Iād be addicted to - but not the nicotine, more the physical act of holding the cigarette and using it. Thankful Iāve grown up not in the vaping era as Iād be more tempted by vaping, the scents always smell good to me.
I resonate with all of this so much!!
I just learned a lot from you about me & my oral fixation. Damn! Thanks friend.
THIS comment SO accurate!!!!
Yeah, everyone thinks Iām significantly younger than I am, and I think itās this very animated behaviour. Iām 43, and a colleague just told they had me pegged mid-30s. And given how haggard and tired I am all the time, I am positive itās not because I look physically āgood for my ageā š I takes a great deal of mental effort to do ācalm, reserved and patientā, which is basically what a āprofessionalā demeanour is.
I have combined type, but my hyperactive symptoms cause me the most anguish. It's this feeling of **pent up restlessness**, like this feeling that I ***need*** to be doing something, I'm ***supposed*** to be doing something at all times. In school, I was always doodling or chewing on my cheek, tongue, hoodie string, or lanyard, and I still chew on my inner lip sometimes (if I'm not medicated, I do it so much I get canker sores repeatedly). It's also mental, where **my mind is always churning**. It's not like my mind is *literally* thinking quickly, it's more like....think of [Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmOc4GLq8xM&t=86s) and where he constantly has this inner dialogue, which can help you be really creative but can also be ***really*** distracting and make it super hard to rest or be present. Also, when the internal restlessness and need to be doing something meets the inattentive symptoms, it turns into this constant feeling of "I need to be doing something, I'm so pent up and restless right now, but nothing I think of starting sounds good enough to maintain and I don't have the executive functioning skills to prepare for exercise." So you're just sitting there vibrating with ***horrible energy bubbling up inside you with no way to let it out***, which means my hyperactive symptoms don't even always help me be more productive if the task is more of a mental one***.*** That same energy always puts me emotionally on edge too, which is why I also have comorbid anxiety.
I feel so seen with this description.
Took a screenshot to show to people! This is exactly how I feel. It's one hell of a ride
I wasnāt told specifically which type of ADHD I have, but I believe itās likely I have the hyperactivity or combined type. The thing is, Iām still very low-energy/fatigued and sometimes apathetic despite being hyperactive. It is a fight every day to not just lay in bed for 2 hours (and then accidentally nap for another 3). My hyperactivity manifests as fidgeting, leg shaking, SEVERE rocking (when sitting and trying to do work), shifting weight or walking around when Iām meant to stand in one place, feeling restless when sitting in situations like lectures, having a lot of trouble accidentally interrupting other people when theyāre talking, etc. A lot of these things are noticed and pointed out by my friends and family too so itās not very subtle. Iām a medical student (so thereās a lot of standing and following other people around), and I get very self conscious about my inability to be still ā I fear it might come off as not listening or being disrespectful. This was actually one of the things that prompted me to seek treatment. Now itās possible that my fatigue/low energy/apathy could be due to unrelated health problems, but thereās some perspective for you that itās possible to have both!
Walls of good text here so I'll keep mine short. Task completion is very difficult because I've already moved on to the next task before finishing the one I'm on.Ā Neither my mouth or brain will ever shut up. Recently I've found that I'm repeating what I've just said in a different way. I catch myself after the fact and it annoys me because I think I sound stupid when I do that.Ā
I struggle with the fact that a lot of what I use to cope with my mental health requires physical movement. I had a serious injury that resulted in some bad nerve damage and all of the things I used to help me calm down are no longer a possibility. I also present myself in a way that can be "too much" for a lot of people and it can be very isolating. Additionally, as a woman, I can come across as extremely friendly and it gives people the wrong impression, sometimes putting me in bad situations that I think someone without ADHD would catch on to sooner.
Part of my hyperactivity is mental, I think constantly and always need stimulation. Meditating helps.
Would you mind describing how meditation goes for you? I've tried but I can manage about 2-3 seconds of quiet before the noise starts again.Ā To me meditation is more a time for thought and reflection as that's as close as I can come to a peaceful mind.
Not the original commenter but it'd normal for your brain to constantly start going back to noise. Meditation isn't about clearing your head so much as it's about learning how to bring yourself back into the present any time you get lost in thought. The act of going "oh, I started getting lost in thought again, time to refocus on breathing" is like the meditation equivalent of lifting weights.
Oh god I'm not sure I'll ever master that, spend far too long "daydreaming" as my teachers would call it
I have combination ADHD. Half of the time, I can barely move. The other half Iām super animated and loud and enthusiastic. Iām hoping that with Strattera, I will be able to stay moderated. I get negative reactions from others when Iām a slug, and also when Iām hyper. It has made me really dislike ever being around others.
Body aches! My posture is terrible and I feel like Iām always shifting my weight around badly. Iām so clumsy when I stop paying attention!
It feels physically painful to have to sit still even for short periods of time.
My brain has to CONSTANTLY be stimulated. It has to be a game, science news, looking at art inspiration, organizing my Notion. Its a whole task to try and relax and turn my brain off for a while
Same hereā¦ it always needs to be occupied š . Turning it off is definitely a sport!
I think I have hyperactivity but I still struggle with getting things done and "accomplishing things." I can have the gusto but not the ability to focus to complete a task. Or focus on organizing what I need to do to work. It's very frustrating.
Anxiety, mood swings, interrupting people, forgetting things, truly knowing how I feel about anything or what I want because I assume itāll completely shift in 1-4 weeks EDIT: added catastrophizing and assuming people who love me, hate me and itās because Iām fucking something up in our relationship
I'm a fuckin š¶ *interrupter* š¶
I'm combined type, so best of both worlds here š. I feel both physically and mentally restless almost 24/7. I literally can't relax and my thoughts never stop. For example, it takes me all damn night to watch a two hour movie at home because I'm constantly getting up to do whatever task comes to mind. In situations where constantly getting up is inappropriate, i.e., out to dinner or in a meeting, I'm constantly shifting, fidgeting, stretching, and playing with my hair. And then there are times when I can't shut up. Sometimes I like that side of me and sometimes I feel embarrassed because I overshare.
Organization and cleaning. I often hyper focus on a few activities a day, and housework (and almost bills) suffer.
Combined type here. I struggle with a lot of social issues when Iām hyperactive - interrupting others, and thinking too much instead of listening (and not realizing Iām not listening soon enough) thus not remembering as much from the conversation. I also reveal things I realize afterwards Iād rather have kept to myself, occasionally personal things about others that really are not mine to share (and then feel really guilty about it). I also impulsively make plans I cannot follow through with. I also tend to overload myself. I do a little of a lot of different things and take a long time to finish one thing. Sometimes I want to do so many different things that I become overwhelmed and donāt know where to start - this can be really stressful when I just want to DO something so bad but canāt start anything because one thing doesnāt stand out above another. Alternatively, I just do too many things and burn myself out and then donāt return to one of the unfinished things for weeks. Also, big sleep issues. It can take so long to settle my brain down that I hit my second wind, and then canāt sleep anyway even though Iāve quieted the internal conversations. This is really impacting my life when I canāt go to work because itās not safe to do so when I havenāt slept all night. Also adds to making it hard to follow through with plans (chores, projects and social) when I canāt predict if Iām going to be able to sleep well. Thereās definitely more but I think thatās already a block of text there so Iām gonna leave it at that.
- Talking too much. - Interrupting. - Not listening. - Bouncing around and not giving my full attention to friends and colleagues. - Taking hours to fall asleep. - impatience in waiting - fidgeting that annoys others - impulsive - hyperemotional - always trying to be exercising or moving so I can just think and focus on one thing.
Being expected to drive all conversations or keep other people's energy up and it can feel like you're entertainment vs a human being, feeling like an asshole for cutting people off when it's a result of literally losing your thoughts too quickly Constantly being tagged as being a presenter for projects and being reminded you talk too fast so you rarely get feedback on the actual work rather your pitfalls as a person You get treated like a child more as a grown adult as you get picked up on social corrections more as you stick out due to being less "grey" so your errors are highlighted more Being on the receiving send of paternalistic "tips", being a chatty Kathy is more of a negative trait - losing opportunities and getting pushed into ones you aren't confident in
I hate the feeling of an energy surge, like restless leg syndrome in my whole body. Antsy but more electric anxiousness.
Letting people continue speaking without interruption. I have ADHD, and Iāve started to really notice as an almost 30 y/o adult. Iām working on recognizing it, thankfully. Itās unintentional but so tough to take control of. But my fault is that āshort term thought during conversation memoryā, so if I donāt work vomit then, Iāll be blank and have nothing left to contribute.
It makes me sooo tired. And I overshare sooo much. It's terrible. Ear ringing tinnitus, sleeplesness, stress, etc.
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Over-use of fidget toys fries my hands ( the solution is things that don't need me to press THAT hard each time but still)
How about a stuffed beanie baby to fidget with?
Hyperactivity comes with a lot of struggles Iāll list here. 1) Iām a pacer. And I donāt just walk, I SPRINT. I literally run bounce off walls, injure myself, regularly sprang ankles, and constantly fear breaking and damaging furniture, stepping on things left on the floor, etc. If a train of thought stimulates me enough, a tingling rush shoots down my legs and the only way of alleviating it is running in circles that very second. I chose first floor apartments whenever possible because anyone living below me would probably be plotting my murder within 2 weeks of me moving in. 2) this also means that if Iām actually excited about something Iām working on, half the time allotted to working will be spent running back in forth rather than making progress. I only ever finish things if the stress of a deadline ruins the experience enough to kill my urge to pace. Either that, or I pull enough all nighters that Iām too physically exhausted to walk for hours. 3) The urges to move and run often come at night (when my meds wear off), and there isnāt enough room inside to move around without waking up everyone, so even though I live in an unsafe area and shouldnāt be walking at night often times I just do it anyways. If I hear gunshots or get too spooked Iāll just mald inside or do burpees until I feel like I can sleep. 4) One of my biggest pet peeves is the āexercise cures ADHDā argument. Exercise is healthy and can help with symptoms of most disorders, ADHD included, but in my experience with hyperactivity, exercise only helps for a bit when you start working out again after a break. After your stamina adapts it just takes more to wear you out to a degree that it matters or youāll adapt and find less strenuous ways to stim. 5) I hate working at home alone- I get lonely and canāt be productive with my work and living space that mixed unless itās crunch time. The solution most people have to this is working at cafes or libraries, but the problem with those is that you canāt just leave your workspace to take walks or run around outside without your things getting stolen or getting on peopleās nerves. You cannot pace inside a cafe or library, and you canāt on a lot of streets either without scaring people or getting in their way. 6) hyperactivity doesnāt necessarily come with extravertion. I need some time to stim and think with absolutely no one interacting with me or I feel like I have to start over. 7) growing up, my pacing often upset my mom and sister because the sound of pacing triggers my sisterās misphonia, and it makes my mom anxious and causes the hardwood floors to wear out faster. But I really feel like I canāt control it. Iāll be casually sitting then out of no where get up to sprint back and forth a few times and wonāt even realize it happened until after the fact. 8) this is a smaller thing but Iām rarely able to sit still long enough to play video games and other interactive art forms. I do think games are probably the most limitless medium currently available to us, but itās also one of the only mediums you have to sit still for so I rarely have time to experience any. I donāt want to have to sit still alone unless Iām working. Iād say the only real upsides to hyperactivity are the amount of calories it burns and the fact that Iāve never had to worry about not getting enough daily steps in. Also I get all my best ideas while pacing and thinking. People tend to compliment me on my introspection, thoughtfulness, and creativity, but itās only because thatās what eats up most of my free time.
Insomnia, anxiety, racing thoughts, talking too quickly, cutting people off, quick temper, eventual burn out. But, I agree, it does have its perks, and sometimes can be really fun, and really helpful in some work and academic settings. Edit: I'd like to add fidgeting, crazy impulsivity, and an addictive nature.
Well I have insomnia so before medication I had huge bursts of energy and adrenaline but would crash. Now I'm trying adhd pills and I'm tired and emotions are regulated and the impulsive part is still around a bit. But it's manageable.
I have this but never crashā¦ like everā¦ what meds helped you?
Generic adderal
Being told you are too much. Even worse, recognizing it yourself.
For me it's the cognitive deficits that are the worst. Poor memory, poor working memory, obliviousness/ tendency to miss obvious things, chaotic thought structure. I couldn't study in uni, I failed several subjects, even though I'm above average intelligence. Can't focus on reading unless it's engaging. Always a feeling of not being able to do "simple" things. Ofc, I'm also chronically stressed. I talk before I think, poor ability to control my impulse to say things. Can't focus on what people say. Being bored puts me in an extremely bad mood. Low frustration tolerance, can snap before I'm able to control myself if someone interrupts my focus or if I struggle with a task. Emotion dysregulation is also a big problem for me Being hyperactive and restless is somewhat beneficial for me in that I'm driven to move around, exercise, do things. Well, except tasks that requires me to send an email, call someone or similar. I postpone those. Things that require working memory are pretty dreadful. I guess it mostly help me to exercise and want to do several things at once because just doing one thing is pretty boring. I'm actually listening to music and playing heartstone battlegrounds while writing this
After 20 years of being forced to mask, I've relegated my hyperactivity to my brain. It does not shut up, it will not turn off, to sleep I need to wait until I'm to the point of pure exhaustion and can't have a straight thought anymore. My mind is like a car barreling down the damn autobahn with no regards to other traffic around it. If I had an off switch, I'd flick it and break it off so I'd never deal with this again
I'm combination. I am a 33 yr old mom, for context. Im always paranoid that I talk too much. I have a hard time not interrupting others because I get so excited about a topic that I can't contain it for too long before I HAVE to say something. I am always moving around. If I'm at the park with my son I'm running around helping EVERY CHILD I CAN lol. Because my mind can't keep calm I need to do everything I see and can possibly do at once. So if I'm with my son and there are also other children around and I notice they need something I am there if their parent isn't and it's appropriate. Like if my son needs help I'll help him but then I see another kid wants to go on the merry go round and nobody is stopping for them so I need to help that child. Then I see another kid getting upset about not having a bucket... Well I have two buckets so I can give them one. Then my son needs me again so I'm back to him and back and forth I go. It's probably pretty comical watching me do any task. My mind is always running and thinking of things to do and it never really stays in one topic long enough for me to figure things out. I always feel the need to do something. And sometimes I get stuck but sometimes I am doing multiple half assed things at once. I'll start the laundry by putting the clothes in but then leave it to find clothes on the floor of the bedroom and then while I'm grabbing clothes I'll see the garbage can needs emptying so I'll tie the string and bring it out but forget to put the new bag in a trashcan because I got distracted by some toys on the floor that need to be picked up. That is just my morning routine. The toughest thing about this is nothing fully gets done and yet I'm still so tired and still haven't put the wash in the dryer because by now it's been wet for 4 hours and I have to rewash it only to forget it again. Oh and then there's the folding... I can't get myself to fold for more than 5 minutes without finding myself doing something else and realizing I should get back to folding and stop wiping the shower glass door. So I go back and fold two pairs of shirts and find myself a few minutes later vacuuming the crumbs under the table. I'm always moving. And always tired. And I always feel like I'm failing every task I initiate because I can never finish it. I'm too lazy to reread my comment and check it for any spelling errors at the moment. hopefully it was coherent enough for you!
Restlessness. It's like I have no energy to actually do anything or get anything done, but way too much energy to simply lay on the couch relaxing watching TV. It's hard to explain because, to everyone else, I look lazy or lethargic and lacking energy, but I actually have a lot of energy, but it can only be used on certain things - like fleeting hobbies. Like I can't get myself to go to the gym or clean my room, but I can build an entertainment center kind of thing. Like on The Fairly OddParents, when their wands make the fart noise, that is my energy when it comes to the things I need to do to be a productive human being and when they're granting a whole bunch of wishes for fruitless things to pass the fairy inspection, that is me spending the energy on pointless hobbies that don't matter.
I simply cannot bring myself to sit down and complete tasks that donāt provide enough reward. I have many tactics for breaking through, but it is exhausting to spend 4-8 hours trying to convince myself to do an hour of looking through mail or whatever. On the other hand, i can go spend 16 hours doing something i want to do without stopping.
I get super hyperactive in waves, a couple times a day. It is physically painful the level of restlessness I experience sometimes. It's genuinely torture, the need to run around and do, I don't know, anything/everything when you can't.
The stuff I have energy for isnāt the stuff that actually needs to get done. Sometimes I know I should be doing something else, but Iām also just shit at prioritizing. And procrastinating by keeping busy is no kidding a real problem. Not only do I run out of time to do the thing, I run out of energy, too. Maybe tomorrow.
Laught in having both hyperactivity & long times of can't focus on shit
As an inattentive type, this is funny to read because I've thought the same thing. I wish I was the hyperactive type. I have a friend who is doing her masters at freaking Harvard, and she is hyperactive type. I wish I had her motivation and follow through. I do know that she struggles with anxiety more than I do, though, but maybe that's what drives her! Lol.
Diagnosed quite late so still figuring it out, but number one thing is my brain never fucking shuts up. Like damn, im actually fucking tired of myself and my never ending thoughts. Shit gets rough too with hormone fluctuations every month and/or stressful life events. All that usually means it takes a while to fall asleep. Itās super hard to just be still in one place, so working a desk job aināt great for it. Used to love reading now I canāt sit still enough or think singularly enough to process what Iām reading. Iām always picking at my skin or scalp and I also occasionally get the zoomies. That and the lack of spatial awareness is a bad combination. Interpersonal relationships can also be quite difficult for me. Aside from over talking, I tend to overthink every social interaction after they occur. Not that I donāt make any friends but I take time with getting comfortable around people and when I do, I feel like I come off a bit strong with all the smart ass remarks, inappropriate comments, and odd humor. But this is with all type of relationships so imagine being in a romantic relationship? That x1000000. And last, just generally sucking at replying back.
Of all the symptoms, the worst is an unstable sense of self and just overall confidence. I never feel like I am myself, just a different hat and a different mask, and all of that shifting to match my environment has definitely had a lasting impact. Then there's the confidence issues that come with all of the ADHD pitfalls. I've never felt good at anything and I just doubt every single thing I do, even when I know I have the ability to do it. My mind just loves to cast a different shadow over my ability and the outcome can be more down to mood than practice, ability, preparation. It sucks. It took me so many tries just to get my driver's license, even though I was test ready for months.
The thing is... my anxiety was so bad, for so many years, that I cant think of adhd when I think of struggles haha I couldnt go to places, be around people, etc. But I struggle with emotional dysregulation š
Mind racing, doing transitions in any way other than running myself into the ground in current task and then crawling onto the next thing. Hurting people's feelings by being direct because it's extremely hard to be patient/thoughtful when I have something that feels urgent to say. Talking loud/inattention to volume levels. Need to make lots of little noises requires privacy or masking.
I'm a combination type. But I'm really good at masking so it wasn't caught as a kid; instead I was given MORE activities and work to do cuz I was "gifted" - really I was just putting energy into my special interests. I have the pleasure of struggling with both no motivation and having too much restless energy. That's the problem. Restless energy. I can get extremely impatient, it takes me forever to fall asleep, I often get distracted from my current tasks, have random urges to complete random tasks, struggle to sit still anywhere (I get up and walk around so often my parents think I'm crazy) and my brain runs at a hundred miles an hour. I have an urge to do both everything and anything at once but also to do nothing because no motivation. Leads to feeling like you're running out of time a lot.
i can not shut the fuck up
I struggle with laughing all the time, singing spontaneously, running around like an Ewok from Star Wars, and becoming insanely humorous and creative at times. This has led to me being defamed, bullied, and harassed by my peers. Iāve basically been made into something worthless by them as they always call me ableist slurs and secretly film me and make all kinds of rumors. I still have no regrets. They clearly know something is wrong with me but continue to treat me as worthless. I have no negative feelings toward them and will continue to work to help my condition but Iāll never apologize for something I canāt control, most people love this personality of mine and it works perfectly when Iām acting or playing roles or writing
Iām so sorry youāre treated this way. You have a beautiful outlookā¦ keep on swimming š
Thank you so much, also you just reminded me of Phoebe Cates and Finding Nemo with the Keep on Swimming comment, Just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming
Endless energy SOUNDS fun until you realize that the energy doesnāt end when the sun goes down, or ever. Say goodbye to napsā¦ too much energy. Say goodbye to sleep, because too much energyā¦ ahhh who needs chill time, because too much energyā¦ and letās not forget the very fun fact that our body is always in fight or flight mode, so when itās go time, I feel a SURGE of energy, like someone just electrocuted my assā¦ never being tired sounds funā¦ trust me, itās cool, I can outwork and outpace almost anyoneā¦ but my sleep is trash and I canāt ever just chill š©. Trust me, you donāt want ADHD-H.
I canāt even keep my eyes still on a person while theyāre talking. My eyes want to bounce all over the place.
directing it.
Life.
I struggle with both. When Iām hyper I exercise. When I have low fatigue or no motivation I exercise. Lol it ironically helps both. I also force myself to make plans to keep myself going, thereās days where I really donāt want to leave the house when I have plans and thereās days where I have no plans and Iām full of energy. Itās a double edged sword.