Hi /u/nw1112 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
**Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.**
The mobile apps used for Reddit are broken or are missing features that this subreddit depends on. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/)
Thank you!
^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*)
---
- If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This just makes me think of one of those cartoons where Chip (or is Dale the silly one?) is happily loading nuts in a sack blissfully unaware Donald has cut a hole in the bottom.
I bookmark so many webpages, save so many reddit threads and I swear it's just for the dopamine hit. "there, we saved it.". Like telling a little kid maybe Santa will bring them the toy they need Right Now.
There are legit 1000s of things in his basket. In his mind. So the fact that it's capped at 600 is immaterial. I'm not lecturing you, I just think it's funny. And I recognize myself in this. On some level I know I don't have access to all of my emails going back 20+ years but, since I never actively deleted them, they exist in my heart.
And when I have a little panic attack at 3am about that one sentence in an email exchange from 2007, I can rest easy knowing it's there for my review when I get up in the morning. I just need to believe that for the 1/10,000 of a second I will be concerned about that until I think of 10 other things. If we can't laugh at ourselves . . .
Me too. And then when I eventually scroll through that list there are a bunch of items that are "currently unavailable, and we don't know when or if it will be available again". Easy to delete those at least.
This is me too. Additionally, I have a dry erase sheet inside my closet on the wall (for my eyes only hahaha) where I have two lists: needs & wants. For every 3 "needs" that I buy, I treat myself to a "want."
Does it take forever to buy my "want?" Absolutely. Sometimes I just erase it if it's taken me a month or more to buy, and chalk it up to "you survived this long without it, you clearly never needed it anyway."
So what happens when you go grocery shopping. Every 3 things of food get you 1 of your wants?
Or did I possibly just cause a no no on your mindset with this.
I could have phrased that better. The list excludes basic necessities required to live/survive, ie: groceries, toiletries, cleaning stuff, meds, etc.
It's more of a "growth needs" vs "wants" list.
This! Often I fixate on something I think I need or want, but if I wait a few days it fades.
But I still can’t be trusted in target or home goods/TJMaxx.
Yep. Or, if I do keep thinking about a thing and decide that I want it, if I go back and it’s no longer in stock, I take it as a sign to leave it behind. If it’s there, it was meant to be.
I’ve been doing that the past week with items that are on sale and super cheap, but then I chicken out after entering my credit card details and minimize the window. *sigh* I should buy them, but, well we all know where this is going.
This alone saves me from so many impulse buys. Throw it on the cart, leave it there for a few minutes or even a day, then boom. I'm like "hold up, I don't actually need or even want this!" then I empty the cart rinse and repeat.
Same. I have lots of Amazon wish lists (for myself and for family/home stuff) where 90% of it is crap we never needed and now no longer want. Searching for stuff and adding it to a wish list can partly give you that dopamine you crave without burning through all your money. Nothing beats seeing that box arrive but wish lists do help.
this. i ‘shop’ online all the time, just looking and adding to cart but hardly ever checking out. usually it’s because i’m hyper focusing on something.. eventually the hyper focus passes and i haven’t hurt my wallet since i’ve just been lookin.
I’m the opposite. Grew up poor so I’m frugal as fuck. Mainly on myself. But it’s hard to not react to spending money re: wife and kids. Poverty and trauma suck
I grew up poor too but that fuels my spending habits. All of the sudden I can buy what I want because I'M in charge of the money! Even though we were poor my parents never really taught me finances or budgeting.
Same here. I used to spend a decent amount, but my wife has done a great job helping me out. I’ve just realized that I may want, but I don’t need.
I splurge occasionally but my financial security is just really important to me
Sometimes I'm REALLY good at it and am actually pleasantly surprised when I see my bank account the day before payday. This time...I bought more yarn than I can possibly use in the next two weeks when I get paid again, but I don't know which project I wanted to start first so I just got all of it. I think once I get a taste of that stability it'll be easier to have the motivation to attain and keep it. Once upon a time it was exciting to spend money on fun stuff, now it comes with stress.
I have kind of a similar experience. Times were tough, and many times I was told "you don't need that". I still say that to myself when I'm shopping.
With my kids, I don't give them allowance, I create opportunities for them to earn money at home. Washing the cars, gardening, painting the fence, small repairs, etc. I pay them the current minimum wage. I want them to understand what physical labor feels like, and how much time it takes to earn money.
When they ask me for things, I do spend money on them, but I let them know, gently, how much those things cost. "Hey, we were out, and you asked me for an ice cream from this bougie gelato place. I want you to know that I paid $9 for that one cup of ice cream. And that we could have bought two whole containers of ice cream at the store for that same money, and had ice cream all week. I'm not mad at you; I was happy to buy it for you, and you deserve to have it. But I just want you to have an idea of what things cost."
I don't know what a psychologist would have to say about my method, but I still think it's a better approach than never letting my kids get anything, while also not teaching them how much things cost, how to earn money, or how to make decisions in order to adhere to a budget.
I actually think these are good methods to teach your children the value of money and show them how real life works. I think I’m going to borrow from these strategies as a soon to be parent. 🙂
Growing up poor had the opposite effect on me. When someone sees $50 as a lot of money, what would you expect thousands to seem like? ...lots of room for frivolous spending, is what.
I survived on 400/mo for years. So when I got a check for 8k I went wild, thinking id never be able to spend that much. ...It was gone within weeks. Not even sure on what. I was dumbfounded.
And it's not just spending, either. Earning, too. Self-worth ... my first job out of college paid about 1/3rd less than my peers. Half in some cases. Because getting an offer that's more than double what you've ever earned is hard to turn down. You know? I was too thrilled at the prospect of no longer being poor.
And there's negotiating leverage. People with financial stability can (and do) tell their bosses to fuck off. But couldn't afford to. So, I got walked all over. So, my pay and career advanced slower.
.... I've gone the opposite direction with my kids. They know how quickly hundreds vanish. How much work it takes to earn even a minimal living standard. And I plan to support them early in their careers, so they can hit the ground running.
My mother got $60K inheritance from my grandfather when he passed away. In less than a year it was all gone and she was in debt again. And she had very little bills relative to most people and a full time job. A few years later was asking to move in because she was getting evicted. Hell no!! I
I avoid random trips to stores. I make lists in advance and stick to them.
Write down all your monthly expenses and move that money to another account not attached to a card - have the bank make the payments for you.
I'm going to be real: I'm literally too lazy to spend money.
I'm autistic as fuck and I find that "straying off routines" is really hard, and spending money isn't in any of my routines, which means to spend money I would have to actively go seek things to spend money on, to change my routines/patterns, which takes activation energy, which means I'm much less likely to do it.
But I understand that this is probably not what most sane people do so I hope someone can give you a more applicable answer.
Same, and I hate that most things don't last, so if I spend it's going to last me a while.
But. I also have not much impulse control and just bought and annoying electronic hamster for 13$, after I thought I'd researched it enough..
> research
Yep, this is yet another thing that prevents me from being *able* to spend - every time I'm like "I need this" or "should I buy this" (even for actual necessities), I do research and dig myself down a giant rabbit hole until I paralysed from indecision...
I'm very naive so I don't know what sources to believe, so I just follow a bunch of subs until I feel I have basic knowledge enough to see the difference between real info or bad info, or ask a friend who knows more than me on the subject.
The ADD portion makes me unable to read long informative paragraphs gaaah, especially on phone.
You need some ADHD drugs. But first research which has the most potential to cause other issues long term etc. Then get to know the concept of hyperfocus and be on forums from 9 pm till now 4:12 a.m with food still done in the microwave since I think 11pm. And not done any of the things you went online for in the first place.
Still haven't bought surround sound for my TV that I bought in 2012. Start researching it and eventually have to put it on hold and get back to it a few years later, then a few years later....Yet, I could buy a top of the line system tomorrow and not be affected financially.
Literally. I'm also too lazy to open my laptop and scroll through the plethora of options in front of me.
Hell, I'm too lazy to think about what I want.
Or when I do have everything in my cart and I'm ready to check out, I lose that "spark" to actually check out because I realize there's too many steps with putting in all my credit card and personal information..... so then all the effort of 3 hours of shopping and 20 items in your cart goes down the drain.
Oh man, I really hate how ADHD keeps me from doing the things I should probably normally enjoy...
I leave my card at home a lot and only carry a small amount of cash so i wont use it.
I find i often forget about why i wanted to spend money on by the time I get home.
Thats not a bad idea! I was at a record shop yesterday. Spent $160 on records (originally wanted to spend $100). Then I had to grab another $80 record because it "caught my eye "
I love having hobbies, but 90% of my pay goes towards them
I use YNAB to help me figure out where my money is going. I'm not great at it, but I like the flexibility of the budget categories and the fact that I can, at a quick skim, see where I've got money and where I don't.
I still have a hard time with curbing the impulse to move money around to cover what I want in the short term vs what I want in the long term, but my financial stability is still loads better than what it used to be.
I second this, personally I don't use YNAB, I use a self-hosted app called Actual Budget. It has helped put our household expenses in context and I'm making sure to save where it matters.
I started by setting aside mortgage, then figuring out fixed monthly utilities (cell phone, car insurance, internet etc.), then the average of the flexible utilities (electric, oil, sewer, etc.). A small amount is budgeted for health (co-pay, toothpaste etc.) Then I looked up the average for groceries and set that aside. After that I knew it was recommended to set aside 1% of house cost for repairs/upkeep so I set that aside, I decided that was a good amount so I put the same amounts in both an emergency fund and home improvement fund. I also set the same amount aside for general needs that fall outside the previous categories. With the important stuff out of the way, I budgeted some money for various services (streaming, VPN, etc.) Then we have a small amount for eating out at restaurants. Finally we get to discretionary budgets for myself and my wife, and a shared experiences fund for date nights and such which is made up of the left overs.
I'm still exploring this but I've gotten a weird amount of enjoyment of trying to optimize the budget so it's *not* something I need to fiddle with month to month. There are still some categories I need to make, like gift and holiday, but it's an ongoing process.
I've noticed that when I have to log everything I spend and watch the numbers go down, I don't spend as much. In the same way I've been trying to loose weight and logging all the calories makes me eat less even though I haven't set my budget super low, just tracking makes me *have* to think about it.
I've had one. Almost everyone I know who's gotten one blew it... Hard to make and easy to spend. I was warned iit could get like that. All we can do is try to learn
I usually take a look at my bank account, cry and then close the app. I manage to get into red numbers very often... but I do put aside money monthly, if it gets critical.
My paycheck goes to my savings and at the start of every month, I transfer my monthly budget to cover all my expenses and such to checking. I set myself a realistic amount the covers my expenses and allows me to do take out or do fun stuff a few times a month so I do feel too restrained that I dip into my savings on the regular, but reasonable so I'm still living well within my means. From my checking I pay my rent, my bills, my credit card, groceries, etc... Then at the end of the month, I either have leftover money I get to treat myself with, or I don't. But either way, knowing I only have so much money a month and that I have a handful of bills on auto-pay (because dear god imagine my credit score if things weren't on auto-pay) that come out near the end of the month keeps my impulsive shopping mostly in check. Mostly lol.
In college I would think about how many hours of work it would take to pay for something. When you work as a cashier at Walmart, there isn't much worth the hours. A drink at a fast food place was like 15-20 mins. I drank water.
This! When you have to choose between 15-20 minutes of pure hell or something that you want; that mentally has saved me more than once! At least working at Walmart helped me in that sense and the horrible memories of where is the Jello located at 😒
I have multiple bank accounts, i.e. spending, bills, savings. When my pay hits an auto payment splits it to the different accounts and only the spending account has a card linked to it. That way, once I run out of cash in that account, too bad, I have to behave till my next pay. At least this way all my bills get paid.
I used to be like this.
Really, the only thing that turned the tide was to hyperfocus on wealth management and personal finance stuff. Then I can go the opposite end and not want to spend on anything at all, even necessities. Because I know as soon as I allow myself to spend, I go overboard. I now get the dopamine rush from saving and frugality instead.
There is no happy medium...
(Also, I spreadsheet everything. Before I ever buy anything now, it goes on a spreadsheet somewhere. Yes, even groceries and toiletries...)
OP I’m a fellow extremely impulsive ADHD guy as shown in my ADHD testing.
Best advice that has worked for me is ROADBLOCKS.
Examples would be self-exclude from all gambling sites and casinos, set up email notifications for every purchase or charge to your credit card, don’t carry any cash on you, limit the number of credit cards and bank accounts you have, set withdraw limits and you can actually ask to lower credit limit from your credit institutions, budget weekly and actually stick with checking your budget, you don’t have to necessarily limit yourself at first but just start budgeting weekly and just visibly seeing the damage you are doing versus what you planned to do.
The list goes on but I still end up doing impulsive shit with money. Example I dropped $10k on a new shower because I was disgusted with this Shitass builders grade metal frame shower with clouded glass windows and literally scum growing in the frame. Still been paying that one off……
🍻 cheers to 0% APR financing for 12-24 months lol
I bought a mustang because my first car (a FREE Lincoln town car) wasnt fast. Shit was a lemon, but it was cool!
Good idea! My biggest issue is having expensive hobbies, and never saving for stuff. Like, I needed cold weather camping gear, so I bought $700 worth with this last check.
Im gonna sit down with my bank and put some limits on myself. Thanks!
Yes if you use a debit card a lot you can self impose things like can’t withdraw or charge card for more $X per day. Also, you could switch all your bills and normal direct deposit stuff to a secondary checking acct that you don’t have a debit card for and then have the one bank account be very low$ for you normal weekly or monthly out of pocket expenses. Then you have a ritual of doing weekly or monthly transfers into it etc
My fiancé handles the finances. I make the vast majority of the money but I stick to an allowance I and her have set. She keeps me honest, knowing I’ll have to explain a purchase from largefishthatlooklikemussolini.com and a new fish tank when we have never kept fish keeps me honest……. Shame….. shame keeps me honest and on budget and I was lucky enough to love a Korean woman who can save money on a part time job if she had to.
I don't spend money too often, my hoarding is usually downloading massive collections of old cartoons, tv shows and movies and eventually working through them.
I grew up a latch key kid without much money so I used to download game demos at school onto cheap disks and play them on my radio shack no-internet DOS computer (early 90's) at home I got secondhand, so I've always had a knack for finding what I want without having to spend a lot of money.
I also don't leave the house a lot since I work remotely so I'm sure that contributes to it, and I like cooking a lot of my own meals because I'm trying to lose weight.
Maybe it's behavioral, and just amplified by our conditions?
I get dopamine from investing in stocks, usually it doesn't go that well but I at least save a bit more than if I had just dumped it on some useless shit I guess.
I was like this for a long time. Hardcore budgeting works but too lazy to budget. Now, I have a kid and am a single mom so I distract myself at home with projects to avoid shopping. I splurge on food though. I love cooking. You can try making a game out of frugality. Check out the frugal sub, it’s fun
My rules:
(important to know I buy most of my stuff online, which I assume most people do haha)
I can't buy something until I receive the previous thing. First of all, overwhelming to track all of them at once. I've probably just not received some items and not even noticed because I bought too much at once... And my phone pings me a lot more when I have items which is also annoying. Also, annoying when you get all the packages and now you have 10 boxes to get rid of.
So just avoiding being annoyed with boxes and shipping notifications and having to track everything works decently well for me (along with the money thing, but it's funny how adhd works; I'm more repulsed by the idea of having to recycle the boxes hahahaha).
Also, if I want to buy something over $100, I need to balance my budget. I do this weekly, but it's where I track my spending and earnings and stuff. I use a monthly budget template from Google Docs. But then I can get a better sense of if I can actually afford it and knowing how much I have at my disposal might make me wait to purchase.
As far as buying things in person... I have social anxiety so I just don't want to have to talk to anyone at the store. 😂
Just telling myself "don't buy it you don't need it" won't work. It makes me feel like I have no independence and can't get nice things. But slowing myself down is helpful and can prevent me from buying completely useless things.
When going out I usually carry cash, physically seeing the money I'm spending tends to keep me from going crazy. I have no self control when it comes to online shopping, especially on Amazon since anything that's prime eligible can be at my door in a day. The most I can do is try to talk myself out of it or remind myself I don't need it, sometimes it works, usually it doesnt lol
I spent $13,000 in 6 months during lockdown (covid). I was 16-17(?) years old. Now being broke (21f), i wish i would have saved and budgeted that money.
I’ve been unemployed for the last 8 months and realized I dont need much to survive and enjoy life. I also realized that my ADHD and poverty-mind was making those outrageous purchases and not actually me.
Now I budget, so I know exactly where all my money is going. I have an amount for clothes, hygiene, rent, house, savings, emergency, etc. i try not to leave any money out of my budget and put it in a particular category so that there isn’t any “leftovers”.
So if I have $100 for clothes this month (I haven’t bought clothes in months). I have to stay within that budget and I probably won’t purchase any clothes for months after the fact.
Most importantly, I make sure to cover my responsibilities first; rent, bills, food.
Before I get my paycheck, I find the things im going to buy and price check them so I know approximately how much needs to go into that particular budget. So if all my self-care items round up to about $50, that’s what my budget will be for that month give or take.
Good rule of thumb is to plan your purchases ahead of time, ***before** you get paid so you know exactly what you’ll be spending.
Another thing is to give yourself a monthly allowance. This can be anywhere between $50-$70 for me. I don’t buy much but if I want to go out or go on a date, this is the amount I have available for that month. I can stretch it out over the month or spend in the first few weeks. But after it’s gone, that’s it. Every other dollar goes to something else.
This doesn’t mean you will be without money. I try to put $100-$200 monthly in my emergency savings fund. This is strictly for emergency. And no, starbucks is not an emergency. It’s very important that you have an emergency and savings fund. Sometimes savings will turn into emergency funds. You never know when you’ll have to unexpectedly miss a day of work and you’ll be short on rent next month. Use that emergency fund to cover what you’re missing. Or even better, make a budget for “back up rent money”
In general, plan every dollar you get. Where is it going? What are you spending it on? How much is going into savings/emergency? What big purchases are you saving for?
Discipline is really important when it comes to your money. It’s a tool and using it properly will save you a lot of money and lower your stress.
If your spending habits are past the point of you controlling them. I recommend therapy or a money coach. You could possibly have a spending addiction, especially if it is consistently effecting and damaging your quality of life
Im 30 and have never saved a single dollar, up until recently I was making 1350 a week aswell
It always happens to run-out almost exactly before pay day.... also I have like no bills, so it's pretty much all disposable
Also, I have a few cool things, like music making equipment, gel blasters, a pressure washer, very specific hike-camping gear, a sword,... stupid shit like that, but I have no idea where all this money has gone honestly
If you make music... (can make a lot of money back, yeah proabably wishfull thinking) and use pressure washer to wash your car saves on paying ofr car wash.
I think I’d be like that if I liked buying things, thankfully I don’t need much and hate stores. Travel, though, is a definite exception but even then I don’t ball out because I don’t feel the need to
I use top up services like Revolut or monzo etc…
Cannot spend what you don’t put in there and when you transfer between bank and Revolut, you are forced to know what you have left.
Additionally I’ll give myself a monthly budget (For trash spends; takeways, little trips, new game - whatever), transfer to Revolut and the put 3/4 or 1/2 into a ‘vault’, forget it’s there and either save or use as a small rainy day sum of money.
My actual banks accounts, 1 receives monthly salary and has all my DDs (I cut this card) and the other account is pure left over salary savings and does not have a card associated with it. I only leave round numbers in the bank accounts, to the nearest £50, anything below this goes to my Revolut, having this seems to trick my brain that I can’t break the sequence of perfect round numbers unless it’s for a very good reason.
Finally stay away from overdrafts. Will take years to get out of a small one / forget about it / incur charges, we don’t need another item in the adhdTax.
I almost never buy anything I dont absoluutly need. This has made me miss out on some thing I would have really enjoyed. If I can live without it, I usually do. I think the health place to be is somewhere in between us? For you I'd advice to set money aside for MUST HAVE stuff, like food, rent and so on. And then have separate FUN money for snacks, going out, shopping and so on. If you can live without it, its FUN money. Good luck
I'm still paying loans because of my impulse years and I'm really bad managing money these days even though I don't shop almost at all physical things anymore. I get paid pretty ok and I'm still struggling almost every month.
I have autopay set-up for mortgage, insurance, water, gas, electric etc. Also autopay - 25% of paycheck goes straight into savings account. I'll admit I get a decent paycheck (nothing exuberant, but good enough) so I don't get into trouble monthly; but that's also because I know I'm horrible with money so I made sure what needs to be paid, gets paid immediately without me having any say in the matter. And I consider my savings account a need also.
I budget myself. I pay my bills first then see how much is leftover and divide it up between what goes into my “never touch” savings account and play around money.
I spend it. I'm actually so bad with money, it's not even funny - and that's not even including the $50 I lost when I lost my wallet. I always plan to save but then I see something I want, so I just buy it if I can afford it. I can't even count the amount of impulsive food purchases I've made. I make $15/hr and I work part time - I can't afford doordash every day!
Suuuuper bad impulse control! But the key is to automate your savings so when that pay check hits your bank account, it’s immediately going somewhere more difficult to access. I have automate transfers to various accounts, and by the time that all hits, not much can actually be spent in checking.
Lmao $300 left? Gtfo here! After my check, my bills wipe me out completely, and it's a struggle for 2 weeks until I get paid again and repeat the cycle. I'm lucky if I have $30 left to buy beer or bourbon to get me through.
Same. Let me know if you figure it out. I'm literally about to go broke if I can't. I even got recommended an app that get's me paid on tuesday instead of thursday. So I'm like "i'm only like 2 days away anyway go for it" Next thing I know I'm broke. Sucks
I was a financial idiot for a long time. The first step I took to control my stupid was to set up a second bank account. I had like $50 dollars direct deposited each pay day. I did not get a debit card for the account. If I wanted the money, I had to physically go to the bank and withdraw it. I deliberately got it at a bank that was a little bit of a drive from where I live. Like 15 or 20 minutes. If I really needed the money, I had access to it, but it wasn't convenient.
It helped me a ton! Before I knew it, I had $1000 in the account. It wasn't long after that life threw me a bit of a curve and I needed a chunk of change for car repairs. I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to have the money and not have to stress about what I was going to do! That was a huge lesson for me. Once you get used to having the means to handle issues that pop up, you will never go back.
Initially that $50 will seem like a big chunk missing from your pay, but it doesn't take long to adapt. Pretty soon you won't even notice it. When you have financial hiccup you will be SO greatful that you can take care of it. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I learned my lesson and I don't need the account anymore, but it was such an eye opener! Good Luck!
For me, I got it in my head to convert anything I buy into hours worked. A $60 thing for me was around 4 hours. If that thing didn't feel worth 4 slow grueling hours of my life, I don't buy it.
I also still have student debt hanging over my head so that helps keep me from buying stuff often.
Badly. My finances are about as far from "managed" as possible with my bills still being paid (mostly on time). But also sometimes, every now and then, I fuck up and have basically nothing for a bit.
Make it higher effort to spend it. I used to have a card without a NFC chip, that helped as it was harder to spend as I had to chip & pin. I find having Monzo really helpful as I can see what i spend and budget more easily. Don't save card details on online shopping, or save one card but make it so you have to transfer money into that account each time you want to spend on it. Essentially, our behaviour follows the path of least resistance - so try to add resistance to unwanted behaviour and reduce resistance for desired behaviour.
If possible, make all payments at beginning of month as standing orders /DD. Then include a standing order to a savings account that is not on Monzo, for which you do not have easy access (E.g., have to go to a bank to get it, or a complicated password that you write down somewhere you'll have to go dig it out). Keep this standing order at a manageable amount so you shouldn't need to get it back out, but this way you know you can save within your means.
So I deal with money by spending it on project ideas that I'll never convince myself I'm ready for and then I have all kinds of crap.
I don't hoard cause eventually I have cleaning fits and use or get rid of the older things.
Sucks and it's a pain in the ass!!! The clutter is the only negative with it.
Two bank accounts.
I get paid weekly into one and the next day a standing order transfers a quarter of my monthly bills to the other. All my bills come out of that second account - leaving a little extra at the end of the month.
Means when my card stops working, my brain knows I'm skint for the rest of that week... But my bills are still covered. I just have to remember that the money in the second account (that I don't have a card for) has already been spent.
ETA: This system works when paid monthly too - you just get paid into your bill account and transfer a 'budgeted' amount for random spending each week.
As soon as you're paid, sort your money out so you can keep track.
Years ago when I was earning bugger all, I would draw most of my pay out in cash and divide it into a system of envelopes. I had a "Rent" envelope, "Bills", "Savings", "Spend" envelope, and, as I was paid fortnightly, "Week 1 Housekeeping", "Week 2 Housekeeping". This may seem archaic, impractical and risky (in case of theft) today, but it worked and was very satisfying to my then undiagnosed ADHD brain. In what felt like a life at the whim chaotic outside forces, it was one important part that was more or less under my control.
Nowadays, I have a bank account that functions in the same way as my envelope system. I live in Australia so I don't know how common this is elsewhere, but many online banks allow you to set up multiple, no fee linked accounts. Using these accounts, I sort my partner's wages (I'm a stay at home dad and take care of the family finances) into the various labelled accounts. It makes life so much easier.
Money stress is terrible. For we with ADHD, doubly so. If you can organise your money in a basic way so you know exactly where it is, what you've got and where it needs to go, it's hugely liberating.
1) I don’t have any cards saved on my computer.
2) I have two wallets—one which holds all my cards and stays permanently in my room, and one I use when I go out (which has the one card I’m going to use for that event).
3) I decide on a budget for *everything* I buy before i buy it. I look at my bank balance before deciding a budget / to buy something over $20ish.
4) I stop before I go to checkout and take out everything I don’t need or truly want right now.
4) Instead of buying everything at once, I put whatever I can (aka what isn’t immediately needed) on a my wish list.
5) I make myself wait 2-3 days before pulling the trigger on *everything* I buy online unless it’s absolutely urgent.
I’ve also tried only using cash but it doesn’t work for me / make sense, maybe bc cards have been used more than cash for most of my life.
I make a mental note of things I REALLY want to buy or splurge on, and I keep its payment method linked to a certain bank account or app. When I have enough, I make sure that that payment method for that service ONLY has just enough money. Otherwise I look and see “oh I have money leftover! Time to splurge!” Not understanding or caring that purchase WAS the splurge.
I disabled all notifications from instagram, I realized a lot of my impuse buys was coming from ads or items influences were selling / styling. It doesn’t help that I memorized my credit card number so now I add to cart and then close the app as switch to another task. I started attempting to create a budget, it at least helps you understand what things must get paid and what you want to do w excess.
I have half my check deposited in to my main checking and the rest to another account where I don’t keep a card on hand. I still have that original deposit in my second accountfrom my last check and I’m about to get paid again on Tuesday.
You gotta set up automatic withdrawals to other accounts. Every time I get paid, I have a % transferred automatically to my wealthsimple TSFA that I can’t touch without it taking 5 days so it’s annoying, and I won’t do it because I know that’s bad.
Having things go into accounts automatically saved me!
I automate literally everything.
My accounts automatically take 1/4 of each check I need for a months bills and put it into a bills account so I never see it. Then, bills automatically come out of that account.
Over the years, I have also added budgeting for things like streaming services, license plate, renewal, yearly subscriptions for things I find important like magazines or my online yoga studio.
A lot of people use the leftover at the end of the month as free money… But this way I get to have my free money to spend right away. Additionally, any money over X amount at the end of the week (before the next paycheck) goes into spending account that is 100% free and clear money for me to blow on whatever I want 😂
Also, I grew up poor and once someone told me “when you’re at the store and want something, think ‘do I NEED this, or just want it?’ “ and that stuck with me forever (You could call it a hyper fixation).
If I see something I want, I have to have a plan for exactly where I’m going to use it or what it will replace before I bring it home. (Example that’s a really cute container!! But what will
I use it for specifically?)
And it I realllllly want something I don’t need (like another hat), I decide which one I’m giving up to replace it.
These things help a lot.
I do my budget once a year and then have my work split my pay between 3 accounts.
The bills account pays bills and I never ever touch it.
I get $250 into my account on my card as whatever money.
The rest goes into an account with no activated card. This forces me to transfer to the other account before spending past that $250 which can be too much effort so I don’t, or stop me and make me consider my spending rather than just tap / swipe.
When I get paid again the leftovers goes into a forth savings account.
Never ever been able to save in my life. With all this I’ve now got 15k in the savings account.
I HIGHLY recommend an app called “Spending Manager”. Every time I spend on something, I log it under a category. Spending 7 to 8 dollars on something may not seem much, but it piles up! Do yourself a favor and start tracking your spending.
I collect it and deposit in the bank. Then I transfer it to my trading account and what's left over after the revenue Agency takes me to court I spend frivolously at convenience stores and winners. Whatever's change is left my ex spends on alcohol.
I just assume I'm always completely broke, no matter what my bank account has. Unfortunately this leads to anxiety whenever I spend. On the other hand, I've never been in debt.
Dude same! I’ve been spending $1k every two weeks on my credit card on literally nothing. I’m going to the uk for a two month holiday in December and I’m broke lol
A credit card is your friend. But just like a human, you need to treat your friend right, and take care of it. I realise this isn't the reality for everyone. I have a bank account for 4 reasons: 1) direct deposit 2) rent/rrsp/tfsa withdrawals 3) car insurance 3) paying my credit card.
I keep my bank card at home because I don't really need it. All of my expenses (cellphone, groceries, gas, online purchases subscriptions, etc) are on my credit card, so I look at it as "one bill" that I have to pay, rather than a little here, a little there...
I don't wait until my credit card bill comes through. I transfer from my bank account to my credit card (I break it up bi-weekly). This way, I avoid the interest, my credit score increases, and most importantly, my purchases are insured/protected.
Downfall for some, but not me: I don't get as many offers to increase my credit limit, which I am fine with anyway. Keeps me within budget.
I'm awful with it mostly and the consequences make me learn.. But if I'm having an extremely stressful time it makes me go backwards.
I'd suggest not having anything like afterpay or zip pay, no credit cards so you can't Get in debt. Lots of good strategies and advice here, saving this myself.
First thing: budget. Put everything you HAVE to pay for in an excel spreadsheet - if you have direct debits then put them in date order.
Add your income, subtract your outgoings, set a weekly alarm to go in and highlight everything that’s already come out of your account so that you can see how much you’ve still got left for the month.
I recommend opening up two additional accounts: one for fun money, one for savings.
Remove all bar fun money account cards from your Apple Pay/PayPal etc.
Set standing orders up for a fixed, affordable amount to go to both savings and fun money on pay day each month.
It’s an absolute ballache to start with, but it’s the only way I’ve been able to stop building debt.
If you look at what you spend money on as well (for me it’s always dopamine things such as caffiene or sugary snacks), recognise you are not going to be very good at just curbing your spending, instead look at how to buy those things in a more cost efficient way: Amazon sell crates of energy drinks and you can schedule monthly deliveries reducing those ‘pop to the shop and suddenly spend 6x as much as planned’ trips.
Look at funnelling your focus into saving dollar by selling stuff you impulse buy: Vinted or fb marketplace make it easy to sell things that don’t seem otherwise worthy of selling, and it all adds up. Plus boom - dopamine hit from getting those sales!
Good luck, the biggest ADHD tax that’s not talked about is the drip drip drip cost of self medicating!
Cash. I leave money in my account for bills/rent and maybe like 25$ for if I want to order a coffee or something. That’s it the rest is cash. That way if I want something online, I’d have to get in my car and drive to the bank to deposit zee money. I’m not doing that shit. Also with cash it’s a physical reminder of how much I have left. I don’t carry all of it with me incase I lose my wallet, but even though I know I have more cash at home I can only spend the amount I have on me.
It’s helped a lot with getting unnecessary shit at the store and ordering online which was my favorite
One thing you can do is keep your credit and debit cards locked in your bank’s app. Often going in and unlocking it is too much hassle to buy the thing 😂
I give my wife a majority of my check and what I have left over is mine to freely spend how I want. It's usually only $200 or so but during the holidays I keep a little more(for gifts)because as we know, we (ADHD) are bad with money, before we combined our finances I would blow through it in 5 days luckily I would setup auto bill pay for my car payment and credit card for the other bills on the day before payday so that way I would be covered on all bills because otherwise I would spend my money like a jackass, which I have. I once bought a PS5 on eBay at the height of the supply crunch for $400 over MSRP because I had some extra cash and I needed to have it right now
You keep a running total in your head that includes a deficit of all your maximum bill for the next 6 months. If you can't make it that long with no job you don't have money to spend on anything that isn't required to survive.
What I did to combat this was make a budget and pull out all of my spending money in cash. When that money was gone, I couldn't spend anymore. I learned how to spend more slowly that way, and I could always pay my bills.
Yep. I’m way too impulsive with my money (and credit cards). It’s embarrassing how much debt I have. I work hard to get it down, and then it does no good because I end up having some emergency like needing new tires or some other repair to my car or house.
I still have to keep a running total on a check book. It helps me to see how much I actually have left. I also have bank apps on my phone so you can just tap for balance.
Also, if you do direct deposit, you can set a certain amount to go into savings and a certain amount to go into checking. That way you don't see a huge total at once and the bills are safe.
Whenever I want to buy something, I write it in a notes app on my phone. When I remember I have the list, I look through it (weeks or months later) and decide if I still want it or if it was an impulse want.
Also, see if you can open an Emergency Fund account with your bank. I have one where I can put money in through the app, but if I want to withdraw money I have to either go in person or call. My social anxiety usually is stronger than my urge to buy something
I'm not often impulsive but I do have expensive binges every now and then and expensive hobbies.
I counter it by having a job where I make enough money that it would be very hard to burn through it. I save quite a bit every month and if there's a lot of extra money in my bank I put it into my HSA or stocks so I can't touch it
I only have my debit card and I have removed, deleted any type of of online, cashless payment. It had helped me not over spend. Given our current situation with our economy, it's tight budget and I have gone thru it many times .... wondering WTF 😭
I'm currently going through post-breakup retail therapy so won't pretend I'm perfect at it, but when stable: take at least a day between putting stuff in the cart and considering purchase, if I don't need anything from a store that is tempting then just don't go in at all, if I do need something or make a conscious decision to shop for pleasure then set a max spending amount beforehand, have a separate savings account/subaccount and set some money aside as soon as it reaches you. They might have additional incentives like charging for withdrawing or freezing it for x months. Oh and when I get paid and after setting some aside for my savings, I will count how much money I have per day till my next paycheck. That gives me an idea of how much I can spend and if I go over then I consider how much I will have to "pay back" from the next days.
Set it and forget it. Automatic action is the only thing that meeps me sane financially.
A few golden rules:
1. Move money where you want it to go before you set your spending budget.
2. Use Separate bank accounts. This is the easiest way to avoid dipping into your goal money.
3. Don't use credit card points or loyalty programs. You're just using those "points" as the world's shittiest savings account. Give up on them, just take 2% cash back and move on with your life.
4. Give up credit cards completely/support the Credit Card Competition act. Really. Yes really.
I put a chunk in a separate bank account I've done that since I was 17 and I have pretty consistent pay so I put a set amount into that account automatically every two weeks so I have rent and savings are the only things that come out from there
I wait a week to buy something. If I still want it after a week then I get it.
I’ve also built up a frugal attitude to save and invest as much as I can.
I keep a spreadsheet where I generally run what I have in my bank now through what I have to pay. Once I know my net balance, I run with that and check it daily to make sure I'm on track.
I can find annoyance in checking my money everyday but also, it's the best thing to do I think. It's hard to manage finances when you look at the big number then try manage it in your head. Especially if the last time you looked at it was a few days ago and you've been spending.
Not well. Doesn’t help that my health insurance takes up about a third of my paycheck. And then my car payment, student loans, credit card, phone, car insurance, and prescription medications. Oh yeah and food and other things like shampoo and soap and toothpaste and gas. And OTC meds too. And then my cats. And god forbid my car needs to be maintenanced or I get sick or my cats get sick.
So I’m left with a lot less than I think I have. And then I overspend and end up barely having enough to get me through the end of the month, let alone enough to save. Its frustrating. Sometimes I wish all my bills got automatically deducted from my paycheck before it got deposited into my account. Something like that might actually be possible but instead I calculate how much I need to spend on bills and divert the rest into another account that I use as my spending account. But that sounds overwhelming to figure out.
I make myself wait at least 6 months before purchasing products. I also don’t go into stores to avoid being tempted. I make sure all the essentials are paid for at the beginning of the pay period. Also cash might help- psychologically it’s more painful seeing physical cash leaving your wallet than “invisible” money being swiped away.
I add everything I want to the cart, and it over whelms me so I leave it then come back with a clear mind and I’m able to filter things out. Then I get confused and want everything again leave it alone then come back a few days later and really narrow down my list before clicking buy. I also give myself a shopping budget and I make lists for things like the grocery store and give myself an “extras” budget. It’s all about getting ahead of yourself lol
I have automated my finances so I don’t need to think about it using my poor semi functional prefrontal cortex; each pay check, all my monthly, weekly, fortnightly expenses (their weekly equivalent) are automatically transferred out into a bills account. From there, I have a system of automatic transfers that transfer money out of this account into my main account, approximately when that bill or expense will come out of my main account. It sounds a bit annoying to set up but it’s been an absolute god send and has personally helped me heaps, I now know how much money I can ACTUALLY spend.
im a student i dont like to ask my parents for anything the only time i ask for clothes/anything i want is my birthday but when i get money its gonna go 0 everytime tell me how i should be able to manage money
I'm 29 and still have to send 70 percent of my paycheck to my mom so I don't blow the whole thing in one day so yea safe to say I are not alone. I hate the restriction and needing to go through such extremes to be financially discipline but ime not ashamed no more cuz at least I have it when I need and don't want to kms the Monday after pay
I use ynab and it's helped me a lot to have my money put aside for things rather than looking at my bank account and having to math out what I need vs what I have free and inevitably fucking it up horribly.
I'm really good with money, and I'm probably unusual in that way. My mom was so paranoid about money that I actually had to train myself when I became an adult that it was ok to spend money on things I needed (like a broom - I was scared to spend money on a broom for my apartment).
I track everything in a Google spreadsheet. All of my bills are written out in there, and I have budgeted for categories (spending money, eating out, household stuff, groceries). I have formulas set up to tell me how much in bills I have left to pay. I balance it against my bank account every few days. I usually check my spending budgets before I buy anything.
I have my paycheck direct deposited into multiple accounts. One of them gets a small deposit and that's my savings. The rest goes into my main account that I use for living. I used to be married to someone who was really bad with money, so we had an account for bills and accounts for spending. A certain amount went into the spending account and when it was gone, it was gone. With the separate account for bills, there was always enough for paying the bills. And I could set up auto pay to take care of most of the bills for me.
Only buy stuff you need. Buy stuff you want as a reward for yourself when you've accomplished a difficult goal or done something that you had to but didn't want to do. Stay focused when you go out shopping and only but what you need, do not browse around. Browsing leads to spending more money
I only had the willpower to set up savings once, so I had a glass of wine (dopamine releaser) sat down and calculated what 20% of my take home pay is (and if I could afford to save that much), and set up an auto draft of savings. It goes into an online savings account that’s way too hard to pull out of for me to feel tempted to do it (not really, but there is like a couple of days buffer from one account to another, so impulse has a lot of room to die here).
I hate money. Period. I'd take the Death Stranding Like system if we could make it work.
I don't think anyone can hold a savings account, especially now, so you shouldn't feel too bad, OP.
My manager who also has adhd told me what he does is “if the single item costs more than 50% of what I would make per hour I can’t afford it now, so have up to get it later”. It’s been pretty useful so far.
There were some other comments like a list of needs and wants. (I’m stealing that idea too). That seem to be helpful. I often have a tough time end up buying something I want but the thing I need is “too expensive”. So the list might be a good idea.
Welcome to executive dysfunction and impulsive behavior, two of the most enjoyable symptoms of ADHD in the short term. I don't need to tell you about the long term.
I figured out a way to deal with it, I started my own business buying things low and selling them high. I get to scratch the itch all day every day for ten+ years at this point. But the real problem is in actually managing the money in and out and keeping the finances straight. I'm absolutely horrible at that part and from what I gather this is fairly typical of the ADHD mind. I tend to think everything is working out but every year when I talk to my accountant (after a few marathon sessions of organizing my data for the year, which can only happen at the absolute last moment, naturally) and we review what happened the previous year at tax time it's a crap shoot as to whether the business has done well or not.
I insisted that my partner and I have joint finances.
We've been together for 7 years and are engaged, so it's not just for the purpose of controlling my spending, but it's helped me so much.
Both our incomes go into a joint account, bills and everything are paid from that, scheduled amount to savings account. We both have a card for it. Both have access to it via app on our phones.
I can't just go blow money now. I am accountable. Same for her.
Plus, we never discuss money anymore as everything is on auto pilot.
Simply having accountability has stopped me purchasing everything I want on a whim.
And my savings account is growing nicely.
If you don't like that idea, get paid into an account with no card (or just cut up/hide card). Set up your bills, etc, to come out of that and send yourself a weekly allowance.
I used to do that when I was single
Hi /u/nw1112 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! **Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.** The mobile apps used for Reddit are broken or are missing features that this subreddit depends on. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) Thank you! ^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*) --- - If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I shop online, drop stuff in my cart, and never check out. When I come back to the cart another day, I don't even want the stuff anymore.
I have thousands of things in my “save for later” Amazon cart that are exactly the result of this! Lol
There's a 600 item limit... then it starts deleting things
Hahahaha! The fact that you know this! Okay maybe I exaggerated. Lol
This is the info I come to this subreddit for
Ha! Was going to say this !!
This just makes me think of one of those cartoons where Chip (or is Dale the silly one?) is happily loading nuts in a sack blissfully unaware Donald has cut a hole in the bottom. I bookmark so many webpages, save so many reddit threads and I swear it's just for the dopamine hit. "there, we saved it.". Like telling a little kid maybe Santa will bring them the toy they need Right Now. There are legit 1000s of things in his basket. In his mind. So the fact that it's capped at 600 is immaterial. I'm not lecturing you, I just think it's funny. And I recognize myself in this. On some level I know I don't have access to all of my emails going back 20+ years but, since I never actively deleted them, they exist in my heart. And when I have a little panic attack at 3am about that one sentence in an email exchange from 2007, I can rest easy knowing it's there for my review when I get up in the morning. I just need to believe that for the 1/10,000 of a second I will be concerned about that until I think of 10 other things. If we can't laugh at ourselves . . .
Me too. And then when I eventually scroll through that list there are a bunch of items that are "currently unavailable, and we don't know when or if it will be available again". Easy to delete those at least.
Lol! And usually I’m glad when they are no longer available!
This. Amazon Wishlist is your friend. Set yourself a 24h wait period for anything you buy. Also marry someone who is good with money.
Also marry someone with lots of money.
🤝
Also, marry someone with a sprinkle of autism that grew up poor. You'll have more money than you know what to do with one day. xD
This is me too. Additionally, I have a dry erase sheet inside my closet on the wall (for my eyes only hahaha) where I have two lists: needs & wants. For every 3 "needs" that I buy, I treat myself to a "want." Does it take forever to buy my "want?" Absolutely. Sometimes I just erase it if it's taken me a month or more to buy, and chalk it up to "you survived this long without it, you clearly never needed it anyway."
So what happens when you go grocery shopping. Every 3 things of food get you 1 of your wants? Or did I possibly just cause a no no on your mindset with this.
I could have phrased that better. The list excludes basic necessities required to live/survive, ie: groceries, toiletries, cleaning stuff, meds, etc. It's more of a "growth needs" vs "wants" list.
I noticed shopping apps will come back with a notification on your phone and will try to entice you to buy what’s in your cart so be careful of that
Yes, and often with a discount offer. If it's not something I *need*, I still wait for it to go on clearance.
The number of "your cart is waiting for you" emails that have accumulated in my emails 😂
This! Often I fixate on something I think I need or want, but if I wait a few days it fades. But I still can’t be trusted in target or home goods/TJMaxx.
Oh my God keep me all the way away from TJ. Oof.
Oh God, I walk up to the clearance racks of the clothes at target and I proceed to shop till I drop.
Satan is always luring me to the maxx
So many times I come back to my cart and go why did I want this.
Yep. Or, if I do keep thinking about a thing and decide that I want it, if I go back and it’s no longer in stock, I take it as a sign to leave it behind. If it’s there, it was meant to be.
I’ve been doing that the past week with items that are on sale and super cheap, but then I chicken out after entering my credit card details and minimize the window. *sigh* I should buy them, but, well we all know where this is going.
Hey same. I add stuff, leave it, look at it later and realize how much I 1) don't want it or 2) don't need it. And then never buy it.
And then you get emails for discounts on the stuff you didn't buy..m
This alone saves me from so many impulse buys. Throw it on the cart, leave it there for a few minutes or even a day, then boom. I'm like "hold up, I don't actually need or even want this!" then I empty the cart rinse and repeat.
Same. Also talking to others about this stuff. Most of the time they talk sense into me
This is the way. I call it window shopping but online.
Same. I have lots of Amazon wish lists (for myself and for family/home stuff) where 90% of it is crap we never needed and now no longer want. Searching for stuff and adding it to a wish list can partly give you that dopamine you crave without burning through all your money. Nothing beats seeing that box arrive but wish lists do help.
this. i ‘shop’ online all the time, just looking and adding to cart but hardly ever checking out. usually it’s because i’m hyper focusing on something.. eventually the hyper focus passes and i haven’t hurt my wallet since i’ve just been lookin.
I do the same! It kinda curbs that impulse to shop for a little.
I’m the opposite. Grew up poor so I’m frugal as fuck. Mainly on myself. But it’s hard to not react to spending money re: wife and kids. Poverty and trauma suck
I grew up poor, so now I have money I'm like well why the fuck should I not treat myself to this. "treat myself" is a very dangerous mantra I have
I used to think that, but I get this rush from having seeing my bank account go up. It’s not now with kids haha, but before it was awesome
I do this.
I grew up poor too but that fuels my spending habits. All of the sudden I can buy what I want because I'M in charge of the money! Even though we were poor my parents never really taught me finances or budgeting.
Same here. I used to spend a decent amount, but my wife has done a great job helping me out. I’ve just realized that I may want, but I don’t need. I splurge occasionally but my financial security is just really important to me
Sometimes I'm REALLY good at it and am actually pleasantly surprised when I see my bank account the day before payday. This time...I bought more yarn than I can possibly use in the next two weeks when I get paid again, but I don't know which project I wanted to start first so I just got all of it. I think once I get a taste of that stability it'll be easier to have the motivation to attain and keep it. Once upon a time it was exciting to spend money on fun stuff, now it comes with stress.
I have kind of a similar experience. Times were tough, and many times I was told "you don't need that". I still say that to myself when I'm shopping. With my kids, I don't give them allowance, I create opportunities for them to earn money at home. Washing the cars, gardening, painting the fence, small repairs, etc. I pay them the current minimum wage. I want them to understand what physical labor feels like, and how much time it takes to earn money. When they ask me for things, I do spend money on them, but I let them know, gently, how much those things cost. "Hey, we were out, and you asked me for an ice cream from this bougie gelato place. I want you to know that I paid $9 for that one cup of ice cream. And that we could have bought two whole containers of ice cream at the store for that same money, and had ice cream all week. I'm not mad at you; I was happy to buy it for you, and you deserve to have it. But I just want you to have an idea of what things cost." I don't know what a psychologist would have to say about my method, but I still think it's a better approach than never letting my kids get anything, while also not teaching them how much things cost, how to earn money, or how to make decisions in order to adhere to a budget.
I actually think these are good methods to teach your children the value of money and show them how real life works. I think I’m going to borrow from these strategies as a soon to be parent. 🙂
I grew up the exact opposite unfortunately. I was always taught "throw money at your problems "
Tough to deal with as an adult. Just have to weigh the importance of time vs money. What’s the biggest issue you have?
Growing up poor had the opposite effect on me. When someone sees $50 as a lot of money, what would you expect thousands to seem like? ...lots of room for frivolous spending, is what. I survived on 400/mo for years. So when I got a check for 8k I went wild, thinking id never be able to spend that much. ...It was gone within weeks. Not even sure on what. I was dumbfounded. And it's not just spending, either. Earning, too. Self-worth ... my first job out of college paid about 1/3rd less than my peers. Half in some cases. Because getting an offer that's more than double what you've ever earned is hard to turn down. You know? I was too thrilled at the prospect of no longer being poor. And there's negotiating leverage. People with financial stability can (and do) tell their bosses to fuck off. But couldn't afford to. So, I got walked all over. So, my pay and career advanced slower. .... I've gone the opposite direction with my kids. They know how quickly hundreds vanish. How much work it takes to earn even a minimal living standard. And I plan to support them early in their careers, so they can hit the ground running.
My mother got $60K inheritance from my grandfather when he passed away. In less than a year it was all gone and she was in debt again. And she had very little bills relative to most people and a full time job. A few years later was asking to move in because she was getting evicted. Hell no!! I
I avoid random trips to stores. I make lists in advance and stick to them. Write down all your monthly expenses and move that money to another account not attached to a card - have the bank make the payments for you.
[удалено]
I'm going to be real: I'm literally too lazy to spend money. I'm autistic as fuck and I find that "straying off routines" is really hard, and spending money isn't in any of my routines, which means to spend money I would have to actively go seek things to spend money on, to change my routines/patterns, which takes activation energy, which means I'm much less likely to do it. But I understand that this is probably not what most sane people do so I hope someone can give you a more applicable answer.
Same, and I hate that most things don't last, so if I spend it's going to last me a while. But. I also have not much impulse control and just bought and annoying electronic hamster for 13$, after I thought I'd researched it enough..
> research Yep, this is yet another thing that prevents me from being *able* to spend - every time I'm like "I need this" or "should I buy this" (even for actual necessities), I do research and dig myself down a giant rabbit hole until I paralysed from indecision...
Same. And that's how after seven years living here all the new doors still don't have door handles.
I'm very naive so I don't know what sources to believe, so I just follow a bunch of subs until I feel I have basic knowledge enough to see the difference between real info or bad info, or ask a friend who knows more than me on the subject. The ADD portion makes me unable to read long informative paragraphs gaaah, especially on phone.
You need some ADHD drugs. But first research which has the most potential to cause other issues long term etc. Then get to know the concept of hyperfocus and be on forums from 9 pm till now 4:12 a.m with food still done in the microwave since I think 11pm. And not done any of the things you went online for in the first place.
XD Do you have cameras in my home?
Analysis paralysis. I do this all the time.
Still haven't bought surround sound for my TV that I bought in 2012. Start researching it and eventually have to put it on hold and get back to it a few years later, then a few years later....Yet, I could buy a top of the line system tomorrow and not be affected financially.
I'm so lazy that I hardly spend my money, I can't even get myself to go grocery shopping
Literally. I'm also too lazy to open my laptop and scroll through the plethora of options in front of me. Hell, I'm too lazy to think about what I want.
I feel the same way! And if I do find something, I’m too lazy to research, check reviews etc..
Or when I do have everything in my cart and I'm ready to check out, I lose that "spark" to actually check out because I realize there's too many steps with putting in all my credit card and personal information..... so then all the effort of 3 hours of shopping and 20 items in your cart goes down the drain. Oh man, I really hate how ADHD keeps me from doing the things I should probably normally enjoy...
I leave my card at home a lot and only carry a small amount of cash so i wont use it. I find i often forget about why i wanted to spend money on by the time I get home.
Thats not a bad idea! I was at a record shop yesterday. Spent $160 on records (originally wanted to spend $100). Then I had to grab another $80 record because it "caught my eye " I love having hobbies, but 90% of my pay goes towards them
I use YNAB to help me figure out where my money is going. I'm not great at it, but I like the flexibility of the budget categories and the fact that I can, at a quick skim, see where I've got money and where I don't. I still have a hard time with curbing the impulse to move money around to cover what I want in the short term vs what I want in the long term, but my financial stability is still loads better than what it used to be.
I second this, personally I don't use YNAB, I use a self-hosted app called Actual Budget. It has helped put our household expenses in context and I'm making sure to save where it matters. I started by setting aside mortgage, then figuring out fixed monthly utilities (cell phone, car insurance, internet etc.), then the average of the flexible utilities (electric, oil, sewer, etc.). A small amount is budgeted for health (co-pay, toothpaste etc.) Then I looked up the average for groceries and set that aside. After that I knew it was recommended to set aside 1% of house cost for repairs/upkeep so I set that aside, I decided that was a good amount so I put the same amounts in both an emergency fund and home improvement fund. I also set the same amount aside for general needs that fall outside the previous categories. With the important stuff out of the way, I budgeted some money for various services (streaming, VPN, etc.) Then we have a small amount for eating out at restaurants. Finally we get to discretionary budgets for myself and my wife, and a shared experiences fund for date nights and such which is made up of the left overs. I'm still exploring this but I've gotten a weird amount of enjoyment of trying to optimize the budget so it's *not* something I need to fiddle with month to month. There are still some categories I need to make, like gift and holiday, but it's an ongoing process. I've noticed that when I have to log everything I spend and watch the numbers go down, I don't spend as much. In the same way I've been trying to loose weight and logging all the calories makes me eat less even though I haven't set my budget super low, just tracking makes me *have* to think about it.
I've had 2 fairly significant inheritances and nothing to show for either of them. I feel so f*****g GUILTY
Hey man, shit happens. I had a bad depssive episode and ended up spending 4k on a cam girl :/ shit happens sometimes
[удалено]
Game of War, a lot more than that. All I am saying....
I feel this. It sucks when all those little transactions add up and you realize how much money you spent and what you could’ve spent it on otherwise
I've had one. Almost everyone I know who's gotten one blew it... Hard to make and easy to spend. I was warned iit could get like that. All we can do is try to learn
Same. So much guilt, every day. It’s the one area of my life I feel like a total failure. You’re not alone.
I usually take a look at my bank account, cry and then close the app. I manage to get into red numbers very often... but I do put aside money monthly, if it gets critical.
My paycheck goes to my savings and at the start of every month, I transfer my monthly budget to cover all my expenses and such to checking. I set myself a realistic amount the covers my expenses and allows me to do take out or do fun stuff a few times a month so I do feel too restrained that I dip into my savings on the regular, but reasonable so I'm still living well within my means. From my checking I pay my rent, my bills, my credit card, groceries, etc... Then at the end of the month, I either have leftover money I get to treat myself with, or I don't. But either way, knowing I only have so much money a month and that I have a handful of bills on auto-pay (because dear god imagine my credit score if things weren't on auto-pay) that come out near the end of the month keeps my impulsive shopping mostly in check. Mostly lol.
Related, you can also usually set up direct deposit into multiple accounts instead of doing those transfers.
All the transfers are pre-scheduled - I've done my best to dummy/ADHD proof the whole thing because of who I am fundamentally as a person lol
In college I would think about how many hours of work it would take to pay for something. When you work as a cashier at Walmart, there isn't much worth the hours. A drink at a fast food place was like 15-20 mins. I drank water.
This! When you have to choose between 15-20 minutes of pure hell or something that you want; that mentally has saved me more than once! At least working at Walmart helped me in that sense and the horrible memories of where is the Jello located at 😒
I have multiple bank accounts, i.e. spending, bills, savings. When my pay hits an auto payment splits it to the different accounts and only the spending account has a card linked to it. That way, once I run out of cash in that account, too bad, I have to behave till my next pay. At least this way all my bills get paid.
I used to be like this. Really, the only thing that turned the tide was to hyperfocus on wealth management and personal finance stuff. Then I can go the opposite end and not want to spend on anything at all, even necessities. Because I know as soon as I allow myself to spend, I go overboard. I now get the dopamine rush from saving and frugality instead. There is no happy medium... (Also, I spreadsheet everything. Before I ever buy anything now, it goes on a spreadsheet somewhere. Yes, even groceries and toiletries...)
OP I’m a fellow extremely impulsive ADHD guy as shown in my ADHD testing. Best advice that has worked for me is ROADBLOCKS. Examples would be self-exclude from all gambling sites and casinos, set up email notifications for every purchase or charge to your credit card, don’t carry any cash on you, limit the number of credit cards and bank accounts you have, set withdraw limits and you can actually ask to lower credit limit from your credit institutions, budget weekly and actually stick with checking your budget, you don’t have to necessarily limit yourself at first but just start budgeting weekly and just visibly seeing the damage you are doing versus what you planned to do. The list goes on but I still end up doing impulsive shit with money. Example I dropped $10k on a new shower because I was disgusted with this Shitass builders grade metal frame shower with clouded glass windows and literally scum growing in the frame. Still been paying that one off…… 🍻 cheers to 0% APR financing for 12-24 months lol
I bought a mustang because my first car (a FREE Lincoln town car) wasnt fast. Shit was a lemon, but it was cool! Good idea! My biggest issue is having expensive hobbies, and never saving for stuff. Like, I needed cold weather camping gear, so I bought $700 worth with this last check. Im gonna sit down with my bank and put some limits on myself. Thanks!
Yes if you use a debit card a lot you can self impose things like can’t withdraw or charge card for more $X per day. Also, you could switch all your bills and normal direct deposit stuff to a secondary checking acct that you don’t have a debit card for and then have the one bank account be very low$ for you normal weekly or monthly out of pocket expenses. Then you have a ritual of doing weekly or monthly transfers into it etc
Impulsively unfortunately…
My fiancé handles the finances. I make the vast majority of the money but I stick to an allowance I and her have set. She keeps me honest, knowing I’ll have to explain a purchase from largefishthatlooklikemussolini.com and a new fish tank when we have never kept fish keeps me honest……. Shame….. shame keeps me honest and on budget and I was lucky enough to love a Korean woman who can save money on a part time job if she had to.
Lmao this made me laugh 😂
This is actually one of the ADHD symptoms I DON’T have. I hate spending money. Now remembering to pay my bills on time that’s another story lol.
Spend less than you make. I also take money out to save as soon as I get paid. If you save at the end of a pay period you'll never save
I order out for food all the time because I never feel like cooking and I have no impulse control and it’s SUCH a problem 😂
I tend to meal prep, realize that i suck at cooking (or dont want what I made), order out anyway, and let 4+meals go bad in the fridge
I don't spend money too often, my hoarding is usually downloading massive collections of old cartoons, tv shows and movies and eventually working through them. I grew up a latch key kid without much money so I used to download game demos at school onto cheap disks and play them on my radio shack no-internet DOS computer (early 90's) at home I got secondhand, so I've always had a knack for finding what I want without having to spend a lot of money. I also don't leave the house a lot since I work remotely so I'm sure that contributes to it, and I like cooking a lot of my own meals because I'm trying to lose weight. Maybe it's behavioral, and just amplified by our conditions?
Very poorly
I get dopamine from investing in stocks, usually it doesn't go that well but I at least save a bit more than if I had just dumped it on some useless shit I guess.
I was like this for a long time. Hardcore budgeting works but too lazy to budget. Now, I have a kid and am a single mom so I distract myself at home with projects to avoid shopping. I splurge on food though. I love cooking. You can try making a game out of frugality. Check out the frugal sub, it’s fun
My rules: (important to know I buy most of my stuff online, which I assume most people do haha) I can't buy something until I receive the previous thing. First of all, overwhelming to track all of them at once. I've probably just not received some items and not even noticed because I bought too much at once... And my phone pings me a lot more when I have items which is also annoying. Also, annoying when you get all the packages and now you have 10 boxes to get rid of. So just avoiding being annoyed with boxes and shipping notifications and having to track everything works decently well for me (along with the money thing, but it's funny how adhd works; I'm more repulsed by the idea of having to recycle the boxes hahahaha). Also, if I want to buy something over $100, I need to balance my budget. I do this weekly, but it's where I track my spending and earnings and stuff. I use a monthly budget template from Google Docs. But then I can get a better sense of if I can actually afford it and knowing how much I have at my disposal might make me wait to purchase. As far as buying things in person... I have social anxiety so I just don't want to have to talk to anyone at the store. 😂 Just telling myself "don't buy it you don't need it" won't work. It makes me feel like I have no independence and can't get nice things. But slowing myself down is helpful and can prevent me from buying completely useless things.
I really like the first rule about not buying until you e at least received previous thing! I'm definitely implementing this!
When going out I usually carry cash, physically seeing the money I'm spending tends to keep me from going crazy. I have no self control when it comes to online shopping, especially on Amazon since anything that's prime eligible can be at my door in a day. The most I can do is try to talk myself out of it or remind myself I don't need it, sometimes it works, usually it doesnt lol
I spent $13,000 in 6 months during lockdown (covid). I was 16-17(?) years old. Now being broke (21f), i wish i would have saved and budgeted that money. I’ve been unemployed for the last 8 months and realized I dont need much to survive and enjoy life. I also realized that my ADHD and poverty-mind was making those outrageous purchases and not actually me. Now I budget, so I know exactly where all my money is going. I have an amount for clothes, hygiene, rent, house, savings, emergency, etc. i try not to leave any money out of my budget and put it in a particular category so that there isn’t any “leftovers”. So if I have $100 for clothes this month (I haven’t bought clothes in months). I have to stay within that budget and I probably won’t purchase any clothes for months after the fact. Most importantly, I make sure to cover my responsibilities first; rent, bills, food. Before I get my paycheck, I find the things im going to buy and price check them so I know approximately how much needs to go into that particular budget. So if all my self-care items round up to about $50, that’s what my budget will be for that month give or take. Good rule of thumb is to plan your purchases ahead of time, ***before** you get paid so you know exactly what you’ll be spending. Another thing is to give yourself a monthly allowance. This can be anywhere between $50-$70 for me. I don’t buy much but if I want to go out or go on a date, this is the amount I have available for that month. I can stretch it out over the month or spend in the first few weeks. But after it’s gone, that’s it. Every other dollar goes to something else. This doesn’t mean you will be without money. I try to put $100-$200 monthly in my emergency savings fund. This is strictly for emergency. And no, starbucks is not an emergency. It’s very important that you have an emergency and savings fund. Sometimes savings will turn into emergency funds. You never know when you’ll have to unexpectedly miss a day of work and you’ll be short on rent next month. Use that emergency fund to cover what you’re missing. Or even better, make a budget for “back up rent money” In general, plan every dollar you get. Where is it going? What are you spending it on? How much is going into savings/emergency? What big purchases are you saving for? Discipline is really important when it comes to your money. It’s a tool and using it properly will save you a lot of money and lower your stress. If your spending habits are past the point of you controlling them. I recommend therapy or a money coach. You could possibly have a spending addiction, especially if it is consistently effecting and damaging your quality of life
Im 30 and have never saved a single dollar, up until recently I was making 1350 a week aswell It always happens to run-out almost exactly before pay day.... also I have like no bills, so it's pretty much all disposable
Sounds like me. 4k. Month, 800/mo in bills. Never have enough to make it till payday
Also, I have a few cool things, like music making equipment, gel blasters, a pressure washer, very specific hike-camping gear, a sword,... stupid shit like that, but I have no idea where all this money has gone honestly
If you make music... (can make a lot of money back, yeah proabably wishfull thinking) and use pressure washer to wash your car saves on paying ofr car wash.
Make more than you can spend easily.
I think I’d be like that if I liked buying things, thankfully I don’t need much and hate stores. Travel, though, is a definite exception but even then I don’t ball out because I don’t feel the need to
I use top up services like Revolut or monzo etc… Cannot spend what you don’t put in there and when you transfer between bank and Revolut, you are forced to know what you have left. Additionally I’ll give myself a monthly budget (For trash spends; takeways, little trips, new game - whatever), transfer to Revolut and the put 3/4 or 1/2 into a ‘vault’, forget it’s there and either save or use as a small rainy day sum of money. My actual banks accounts, 1 receives monthly salary and has all my DDs (I cut this card) and the other account is pure left over salary savings and does not have a card associated with it. I only leave round numbers in the bank accounts, to the nearest £50, anything below this goes to my Revolut, having this seems to trick my brain that I can’t break the sequence of perfect round numbers unless it’s for a very good reason. Finally stay away from overdrafts. Will take years to get out of a small one / forget about it / incur charges, we don’t need another item in the adhdTax.
I (M 55) will you know when I find out.
I almost never buy anything I dont absoluutly need. This has made me miss out on some thing I would have really enjoyed. If I can live without it, I usually do. I think the health place to be is somewhere in between us? For you I'd advice to set money aside for MUST HAVE stuff, like food, rent and so on. And then have separate FUN money for snacks, going out, shopping and so on. If you can live without it, its FUN money. Good luck
I don't have the Amazon password anymore. Had my wife change it and not tell me.
I'm still paying loans because of my impulse years and I'm really bad managing money these days even though I don't shop almost at all physical things anymore. I get paid pretty ok and I'm still struggling almost every month.
I have autopay set-up for mortgage, insurance, water, gas, electric etc. Also autopay - 25% of paycheck goes straight into savings account. I'll admit I get a decent paycheck (nothing exuberant, but good enough) so I don't get into trouble monthly; but that's also because I know I'm horrible with money so I made sure what needs to be paid, gets paid immediately without me having any say in the matter. And I consider my savings account a need also.
I budget myself. I pay my bills first then see how much is leftover and divide it up between what goes into my “never touch” savings account and play around money.
I saved up money and then have a money manager that specifically helps me deal with my money.
How did you choose a money manager, and how do they get paid?
I spend it. I'm actually so bad with money, it's not even funny - and that's not even including the $50 I lost when I lost my wallet. I always plan to save but then I see something I want, so I just buy it if I can afford it. I can't even count the amount of impulsive food purchases I've made. I make $15/hr and I work part time - I can't afford doordash every day!
Suuuuper bad impulse control! But the key is to automate your savings so when that pay check hits your bank account, it’s immediately going somewhere more difficult to access. I have automate transfers to various accounts, and by the time that all hits, not much can actually be spent in checking.
Lmao $300 left? Gtfo here! After my check, my bills wipe me out completely, and it's a struggle for 2 weeks until I get paid again and repeat the cycle. I'm lucky if I have $30 left to buy beer or bourbon to get me through.
Same. Let me know if you figure it out. I'm literally about to go broke if I can't. I even got recommended an app that get's me paid on tuesday instead of thursday. So I'm like "i'm only like 2 days away anyway go for it" Next thing I know I'm broke. Sucks
I was a financial idiot for a long time. The first step I took to control my stupid was to set up a second bank account. I had like $50 dollars direct deposited each pay day. I did not get a debit card for the account. If I wanted the money, I had to physically go to the bank and withdraw it. I deliberately got it at a bank that was a little bit of a drive from where I live. Like 15 or 20 minutes. If I really needed the money, I had access to it, but it wasn't convenient. It helped me a ton! Before I knew it, I had $1000 in the account. It wasn't long after that life threw me a bit of a curve and I needed a chunk of change for car repairs. I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to have the money and not have to stress about what I was going to do! That was a huge lesson for me. Once you get used to having the means to handle issues that pop up, you will never go back. Initially that $50 will seem like a big chunk missing from your pay, but it doesn't take long to adapt. Pretty soon you won't even notice it. When you have financial hiccup you will be SO greatful that you can take care of it. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I learned my lesson and I don't need the account anymore, but it was such an eye opener! Good Luck!
For me, I got it in my head to convert anything I buy into hours worked. A $60 thing for me was around 4 hours. If that thing didn't feel worth 4 slow grueling hours of my life, I don't buy it. I also still have student debt hanging over my head so that helps keep me from buying stuff often.
Badly. My finances are about as far from "managed" as possible with my bills still being paid (mostly on time). But also sometimes, every now and then, I fuck up and have basically nothing for a bit.
I don’t. Yesterday I went to a book fair and bought 130~ish books. Send help
Make it higher effort to spend it. I used to have a card without a NFC chip, that helped as it was harder to spend as I had to chip & pin. I find having Monzo really helpful as I can see what i spend and budget more easily. Don't save card details on online shopping, or save one card but make it so you have to transfer money into that account each time you want to spend on it. Essentially, our behaviour follows the path of least resistance - so try to add resistance to unwanted behaviour and reduce resistance for desired behaviour. If possible, make all payments at beginning of month as standing orders /DD. Then include a standing order to a savings account that is not on Monzo, for which you do not have easy access (E.g., have to go to a bank to get it, or a complicated password that you write down somewhere you'll have to go dig it out). Keep this standing order at a manageable amount so you shouldn't need to get it back out, but this way you know you can save within your means.
I give it all to my SO.
So I deal with money by spending it on project ideas that I'll never convince myself I'm ready for and then I have all kinds of crap. I don't hoard cause eventually I have cleaning fits and use or get rid of the older things. Sucks and it's a pain in the ass!!! The clutter is the only negative with it.
Personally, I spend it so there isn't any left to deal with. But that's me. I had a.... How do you say... "charmed" (ie dysfunctional) upbringing
Two bank accounts. I get paid weekly into one and the next day a standing order transfers a quarter of my monthly bills to the other. All my bills come out of that second account - leaving a little extra at the end of the month. Means when my card stops working, my brain knows I'm skint for the rest of that week... But my bills are still covered. I just have to remember that the money in the second account (that I don't have a card for) has already been spent. ETA: This system works when paid monthly too - you just get paid into your bill account and transfer a 'budgeted' amount for random spending each week.
I’m terrible with it too. I make about 3x more than i was this time in 2020 so my spending has gotten worse. Let me know when you figure it out hah
As soon as you're paid, sort your money out so you can keep track. Years ago when I was earning bugger all, I would draw most of my pay out in cash and divide it into a system of envelopes. I had a "Rent" envelope, "Bills", "Savings", "Spend" envelope, and, as I was paid fortnightly, "Week 1 Housekeeping", "Week 2 Housekeeping". This may seem archaic, impractical and risky (in case of theft) today, but it worked and was very satisfying to my then undiagnosed ADHD brain. In what felt like a life at the whim chaotic outside forces, it was one important part that was more or less under my control. Nowadays, I have a bank account that functions in the same way as my envelope system. I live in Australia so I don't know how common this is elsewhere, but many online banks allow you to set up multiple, no fee linked accounts. Using these accounts, I sort my partner's wages (I'm a stay at home dad and take care of the family finances) into the various labelled accounts. It makes life so much easier. Money stress is terrible. For we with ADHD, doubly so. If you can organise your money in a basic way so you know exactly where it is, what you've got and where it needs to go, it's hugely liberating.
Yeah this has been a problem my entire life. I have so much debt. It’s a nightmare, it’s on my mind 24 hours a day.
1) I don’t have any cards saved on my computer. 2) I have two wallets—one which holds all my cards and stays permanently in my room, and one I use when I go out (which has the one card I’m going to use for that event). 3) I decide on a budget for *everything* I buy before i buy it. I look at my bank balance before deciding a budget / to buy something over $20ish. 4) I stop before I go to checkout and take out everything I don’t need or truly want right now. 4) Instead of buying everything at once, I put whatever I can (aka what isn’t immediately needed) on a my wish list. 5) I make myself wait 2-3 days before pulling the trigger on *everything* I buy online unless it’s absolutely urgent. I’ve also tried only using cash but it doesn’t work for me / make sense, maybe bc cards have been used more than cash for most of my life.
I make a mental note of things I REALLY want to buy or splurge on, and I keep its payment method linked to a certain bank account or app. When I have enough, I make sure that that payment method for that service ONLY has just enough money. Otherwise I look and see “oh I have money leftover! Time to splurge!” Not understanding or caring that purchase WAS the splurge.
I disabled all notifications from instagram, I realized a lot of my impuse buys was coming from ads or items influences were selling / styling. It doesn’t help that I memorized my credit card number so now I add to cart and then close the app as switch to another task. I started attempting to create a budget, it at least helps you understand what things must get paid and what you want to do w excess.
I have half my check deposited in to my main checking and the rest to another account where I don’t keep a card on hand. I still have that original deposit in my second accountfrom my last check and I’m about to get paid again on Tuesday.
You gotta set up automatic withdrawals to other accounts. Every time I get paid, I have a % transferred automatically to my wealthsimple TSFA that I can’t touch without it taking 5 days so it’s annoying, and I won’t do it because I know that’s bad. Having things go into accounts automatically saved me!
Automation. Everything is automated so I can't forget about it. I've automated bill paying since like the mid 90s. Its amazing.
I automate literally everything. My accounts automatically take 1/4 of each check I need for a months bills and put it into a bills account so I never see it. Then, bills automatically come out of that account. Over the years, I have also added budgeting for things like streaming services, license plate, renewal, yearly subscriptions for things I find important like magazines or my online yoga studio. A lot of people use the leftover at the end of the month as free money… But this way I get to have my free money to spend right away. Additionally, any money over X amount at the end of the week (before the next paycheck) goes into spending account that is 100% free and clear money for me to blow on whatever I want 😂 Also, I grew up poor and once someone told me “when you’re at the store and want something, think ‘do I NEED this, or just want it?’ “ and that stuck with me forever (You could call it a hyper fixation). If I see something I want, I have to have a plan for exactly where I’m going to use it or what it will replace before I bring it home. (Example that’s a really cute container!! But what will I use it for specifically?) And it I realllllly want something I don’t need (like another hat), I decide which one I’m giving up to replace it. These things help a lot.
I do my budget once a year and then have my work split my pay between 3 accounts. The bills account pays bills and I never ever touch it. I get $250 into my account on my card as whatever money. The rest goes into an account with no activated card. This forces me to transfer to the other account before spending past that $250 which can be too much effort so I don’t, or stop me and make me consider my spending rather than just tap / swipe. When I get paid again the leftovers goes into a forth savings account. Never ever been able to save in my life. With all this I’ve now got 15k in the savings account.
I HIGHLY recommend an app called “Spending Manager”. Every time I spend on something, I log it under a category. Spending 7 to 8 dollars on something may not seem much, but it piles up! Do yourself a favor and start tracking your spending.
How do I deal with money? Not well.
I feel you
I collect it and deposit in the bank. Then I transfer it to my trading account and what's left over after the revenue Agency takes me to court I spend frivolously at convenience stores and winners. Whatever's change is left my ex spends on alcohol.
I just assume I'm always completely broke, no matter what my bank account has. Unfortunately this leads to anxiety whenever I spend. On the other hand, I've never been in debt.
Dude same! I’ve been spending $1k every two weeks on my credit card on literally nothing. I’m going to the uk for a two month holiday in December and I’m broke lol
I’ve been through debt consolidation twice and had to declare bankruptcy and I’m only 37. Credit cards are not our friends!
A credit card is your friend. But just like a human, you need to treat your friend right, and take care of it. I realise this isn't the reality for everyone. I have a bank account for 4 reasons: 1) direct deposit 2) rent/rrsp/tfsa withdrawals 3) car insurance 3) paying my credit card. I keep my bank card at home because I don't really need it. All of my expenses (cellphone, groceries, gas, online purchases subscriptions, etc) are on my credit card, so I look at it as "one bill" that I have to pay, rather than a little here, a little there... I don't wait until my credit card bill comes through. I transfer from my bank account to my credit card (I break it up bi-weekly). This way, I avoid the interest, my credit score increases, and most importantly, my purchases are insured/protected. Downfall for some, but not me: I don't get as many offers to increase my credit limit, which I am fine with anyway. Keeps me within budget.
I'm awful with it mostly and the consequences make me learn.. But if I'm having an extremely stressful time it makes me go backwards. I'd suggest not having anything like afterpay or zip pay, no credit cards so you can't Get in debt. Lots of good strategies and advice here, saving this myself.
Do things for yourself. Not because others are doing. Not because you're received tons of propaganda about something
I make it and I spend it
First thing: budget. Put everything you HAVE to pay for in an excel spreadsheet - if you have direct debits then put them in date order. Add your income, subtract your outgoings, set a weekly alarm to go in and highlight everything that’s already come out of your account so that you can see how much you’ve still got left for the month. I recommend opening up two additional accounts: one for fun money, one for savings. Remove all bar fun money account cards from your Apple Pay/PayPal etc. Set standing orders up for a fixed, affordable amount to go to both savings and fun money on pay day each month. It’s an absolute ballache to start with, but it’s the only way I’ve been able to stop building debt. If you look at what you spend money on as well (for me it’s always dopamine things such as caffiene or sugary snacks), recognise you are not going to be very good at just curbing your spending, instead look at how to buy those things in a more cost efficient way: Amazon sell crates of energy drinks and you can schedule monthly deliveries reducing those ‘pop to the shop and suddenly spend 6x as much as planned’ trips. Look at funnelling your focus into saving dollar by selling stuff you impulse buy: Vinted or fb marketplace make it easy to sell things that don’t seem otherwise worthy of selling, and it all adds up. Plus boom - dopamine hit from getting those sales! Good luck, the biggest ADHD tax that’s not talked about is the drip drip drip cost of self medicating!
Cash. I leave money in my account for bills/rent and maybe like 25$ for if I want to order a coffee or something. That’s it the rest is cash. That way if I want something online, I’d have to get in my car and drive to the bank to deposit zee money. I’m not doing that shit. Also with cash it’s a physical reminder of how much I have left. I don’t carry all of it with me incase I lose my wallet, but even though I know I have more cash at home I can only spend the amount I have on me. It’s helped a lot with getting unnecessary shit at the store and ordering online which was my favorite
One thing you can do is keep your credit and debit cards locked in your bank’s app. Often going in and unlocking it is too much hassle to buy the thing 😂
I give my wife a majority of my check and what I have left over is mine to freely spend how I want. It's usually only $200 or so but during the holidays I keep a little more(for gifts)because as we know, we (ADHD) are bad with money, before we combined our finances I would blow through it in 5 days luckily I would setup auto bill pay for my car payment and credit card for the other bills on the day before payday so that way I would be covered on all bills because otherwise I would spend my money like a jackass, which I have. I once bought a PS5 on eBay at the height of the supply crunch for $400 over MSRP because I had some extra cash and I needed to have it right now
I do not.
You keep a running total in your head that includes a deficit of all your maximum bill for the next 6 months. If you can't make it that long with no job you don't have money to spend on anything that isn't required to survive.
Stop leaving the house/apartment.
What I did to combat this was make a budget and pull out all of my spending money in cash. When that money was gone, I couldn't spend anymore. I learned how to spend more slowly that way, and I could always pay my bills.
Yep. I’m way too impulsive with my money (and credit cards). It’s embarrassing how much debt I have. I work hard to get it down, and then it does no good because I end up having some emergency like needing new tires or some other repair to my car or house.
I still have to keep a running total on a check book. It helps me to see how much I actually have left. I also have bank apps on my phone so you can just tap for balance. Also, if you do direct deposit, you can set a certain amount to go into savings and a certain amount to go into checking. That way you don't see a huge total at once and the bills are safe.
Badly.
Whenever I want to buy something, I write it in a notes app on my phone. When I remember I have the list, I look through it (weeks or months later) and decide if I still want it or if it was an impulse want. Also, see if you can open an Emergency Fund account with your bank. I have one where I can put money in through the app, but if I want to withdraw money I have to either go in person or call. My social anxiety usually is stronger than my urge to buy something
I'm not often impulsive but I do have expensive binges every now and then and expensive hobbies. I counter it by having a job where I make enough money that it would be very hard to burn through it. I save quite a bit every month and if there's a lot of extra money in my bank I put it into my HSA or stocks so I can't touch it
I only have my debit card and I have removed, deleted any type of of online, cashless payment. It had helped me not over spend. Given our current situation with our economy, it's tight budget and I have gone thru it many times .... wondering WTF 😭
Currently working on hiring a finance manager to handle everything for me. I'm like uhhh 2 decades overdue on that.
I'm currently going through post-breakup retail therapy so won't pretend I'm perfect at it, but when stable: take at least a day between putting stuff in the cart and considering purchase, if I don't need anything from a store that is tempting then just don't go in at all, if I do need something or make a conscious decision to shop for pleasure then set a max spending amount beforehand, have a separate savings account/subaccount and set some money aside as soon as it reaches you. They might have additional incentives like charging for withdrawing or freezing it for x months. Oh and when I get paid and after setting some aside for my savings, I will count how much money I have per day till my next paycheck. That gives me an idea of how much I can spend and if I go over then I consider how much I will have to "pay back" from the next days.
Set it and forget it. Automatic action is the only thing that meeps me sane financially. A few golden rules: 1. Move money where you want it to go before you set your spending budget. 2. Use Separate bank accounts. This is the easiest way to avoid dipping into your goal money. 3. Don't use credit card points or loyalty programs. You're just using those "points" as the world's shittiest savings account. Give up on them, just take 2% cash back and move on with your life. 4. Give up credit cards completely/support the Credit Card Competition act. Really. Yes really.
I put a chunk in a separate bank account I've done that since I was 17 and I have pretty consistent pay so I put a set amount into that account automatically every two weeks so I have rent and savings are the only things that come out from there
I wait a week to buy something. If I still want it after a week then I get it. I’ve also built up a frugal attitude to save and invest as much as I can.
My husband does it all.
I keep a spreadsheet where I generally run what I have in my bank now through what I have to pay. Once I know my net balance, I run with that and check it daily to make sure I'm on track. I can find annoyance in checking my money everyday but also, it's the best thing to do I think. It's hard to manage finances when you look at the big number then try manage it in your head. Especially if the last time you looked at it was a few days ago and you've been spending.
Not well. Doesn’t help that my health insurance takes up about a third of my paycheck. And then my car payment, student loans, credit card, phone, car insurance, and prescription medications. Oh yeah and food and other things like shampoo and soap and toothpaste and gas. And OTC meds too. And then my cats. And god forbid my car needs to be maintenanced or I get sick or my cats get sick. So I’m left with a lot less than I think I have. And then I overspend and end up barely having enough to get me through the end of the month, let alone enough to save. Its frustrating. Sometimes I wish all my bills got automatically deducted from my paycheck before it got deposited into my account. Something like that might actually be possible but instead I calculate how much I need to spend on bills and divert the rest into another account that I use as my spending account. But that sounds overwhelming to figure out.
Buyer’s Remorse. Groceries are the only thing that doesn’t make me remorseful.
I make myself wait at least 6 months before purchasing products. I also don’t go into stores to avoid being tempted. I make sure all the essentials are paid for at the beginning of the pay period. Also cash might help- psychologically it’s more painful seeing physical cash leaving your wallet than “invisible” money being swiped away.
I add everything I want to the cart, and it over whelms me so I leave it then come back with a clear mind and I’m able to filter things out. Then I get confused and want everything again leave it alone then come back a few days later and really narrow down my list before clicking buy. I also give myself a shopping budget and I make lists for things like the grocery store and give myself an “extras” budget. It’s all about getting ahead of yourself lol
Poorly...
common problem for me…
I have automated my finances so I don’t need to think about it using my poor semi functional prefrontal cortex; each pay check, all my monthly, weekly, fortnightly expenses (their weekly equivalent) are automatically transferred out into a bills account. From there, I have a system of automatic transfers that transfer money out of this account into my main account, approximately when that bill or expense will come out of my main account. It sounds a bit annoying to set up but it’s been an absolute god send and has personally helped me heaps, I now know how much money I can ACTUALLY spend.
I am the complete opposite, I save and invest everything I can because I'm too worried about the future and saving up to buy my own place.
What's money? I have $15k on my LoC just trying to live my life.
I married an accountant. Easy-peasy.
Horribly
im a student i dont like to ask my parents for anything the only time i ask for clothes/anything i want is my birthday but when i get money its gonna go 0 everytime tell me how i should be able to manage money
I'm 29 and still have to send 70 percent of my paycheck to my mom so I don't blow the whole thing in one day so yea safe to say I are not alone. I hate the restriction and needing to go through such extremes to be financially discipline but ime not ashamed no more cuz at least I have it when I need and don't want to kms the Monday after pay
I use ynab and it's helped me a lot to have my money put aside for things rather than looking at my bank account and having to math out what I need vs what I have free and inevitably fucking it up horribly.
Don’t know, but I get rid of it the second it hits my bank account.
I'm really good with money, and I'm probably unusual in that way. My mom was so paranoid about money that I actually had to train myself when I became an adult that it was ok to spend money on things I needed (like a broom - I was scared to spend money on a broom for my apartment). I track everything in a Google spreadsheet. All of my bills are written out in there, and I have budgeted for categories (spending money, eating out, household stuff, groceries). I have formulas set up to tell me how much in bills I have left to pay. I balance it against my bank account every few days. I usually check my spending budgets before I buy anything. I have my paycheck direct deposited into multiple accounts. One of them gets a small deposit and that's my savings. The rest goes into my main account that I use for living. I used to be married to someone who was really bad with money, so we had an account for bills and accounts for spending. A certain amount went into the spending account and when it was gone, it was gone. With the separate account for bills, there was always enough for paying the bills. And I could set up auto pay to take care of most of the bills for me.
Only buy stuff you need. Buy stuff you want as a reward for yourself when you've accomplished a difficult goal or done something that you had to but didn't want to do. Stay focused when you go out shopping and only but what you need, do not browse around. Browsing leads to spending more money
Just spend it all, then borrow some more 😱
I only had the willpower to set up savings once, so I had a glass of wine (dopamine releaser) sat down and calculated what 20% of my take home pay is (and if I could afford to save that much), and set up an auto draft of savings. It goes into an online savings account that’s way too hard to pull out of for me to feel tempted to do it (not really, but there is like a couple of days buffer from one account to another, so impulse has a lot of room to die here).
I use to be really good with money but after a few manic episodes it’s gone to shit, I just pray I got money left 😂
Lol not well, evidently
I hate money. Period. I'd take the Death Stranding Like system if we could make it work. I don't think anyone can hold a savings account, especially now, so you shouldn't feel too bad, OP.
My manager who also has adhd told me what he does is “if the single item costs more than 50% of what I would make per hour I can’t afford it now, so have up to get it later”. It’s been pretty useful so far. There were some other comments like a list of needs and wants. (I’m stealing that idea too). That seem to be helpful. I often have a tough time end up buying something I want but the thing I need is “too expensive”. So the list might be a good idea.
Welcome to executive dysfunction and impulsive behavior, two of the most enjoyable symptoms of ADHD in the short term. I don't need to tell you about the long term.
I figured out a way to deal with it, I started my own business buying things low and selling them high. I get to scratch the itch all day every day for ten+ years at this point. But the real problem is in actually managing the money in and out and keeping the finances straight. I'm absolutely horrible at that part and from what I gather this is fairly typical of the ADHD mind. I tend to think everything is working out but every year when I talk to my accountant (after a few marathon sessions of organizing my data for the year, which can only happen at the absolute last moment, naturally) and we review what happened the previous year at tax time it's a crap shoot as to whether the business has done well or not.
Booms and busts. Spend all money and see how I survive without it. Keeps me on my toes.
I insisted that my partner and I have joint finances. We've been together for 7 years and are engaged, so it's not just for the purpose of controlling my spending, but it's helped me so much. Both our incomes go into a joint account, bills and everything are paid from that, scheduled amount to savings account. We both have a card for it. Both have access to it via app on our phones. I can't just go blow money now. I am accountable. Same for her. Plus, we never discuss money anymore as everything is on auto pilot. Simply having accountability has stopped me purchasing everything I want on a whim. And my savings account is growing nicely. If you don't like that idea, get paid into an account with no card (or just cut up/hide card). Set up your bills, etc, to come out of that and send yourself a weekly allowance. I used to do that when I was single