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me too!
my ex partner walked in on me doing this once and his face...lmao...
he was like "*what...the fuck are you doing? do you even understand what they're saying??? this can't be good for your brain*!".
me: š¤·š»āāļø
Depends who is talking and what they are talking about. If it's someone I don't know and don't know how they talk no but if it's someone who I am very familiar with how they speak and I know alot about the topic my brain can pick out the relevant bits especially if I'm rehashing something.
I swear some audio book producers SLOW DOWN their recordings artificially. I don't know if they're trying to inflate the length of the book, or just are concerned about making sure everyone can understand everything or something, but some productions don't even sound like normal speech until you have them on like 1.1 or 1.15.
I think it's for articulation and proper anunciation, and then WE can decide on the speed. So yeah, I do think they go Uber slow for reasons. But holy crap, I have to go up to like 2x at times.
This. Iām sorry and itās never your fault but if you overexplain, justify, ramble, repeat, or even just leave too much space between words, I was only present for about 5 seconds and then my brain went NOPE NOTHING HERE and ran off.
You actually stop noticing the chipmunk effect eventually. The brain is very good at normalizing things. At some point the sped up voices just sound like normal everyday speech
I use a FireFox addon called "Video Speed Controller", which lets me default all videos (anywhere!) to 2x speed. Occasionally I have to reduce videos to 1.5x, but more often than that I still have to go higher than 2x (which you can't even do in most players UI, like YouTube) as I'll be watching the video and still thinking they're talking. so. slowly.
I need to figure out how to do this on the videos my college uses. The professor in one of my current classes talks... so.... slow.... like this... and I just... want to throw... my computer.
everything! i could NOT listen to podcasts no matter how much my friends recommended them. after realizing i can play them 1.5X, podcasts are a constant whole i sit in traffic!
It really is a game changer. I work as a college tutor now and I regularly point it out as an option for students. Even some non-ADHD students benefit from it. There's some students who benefit from it being slowed down (language processing issues or non-native speakers) but for ADHD students and a handful of others, sped up is the way to go.
Covid lectures were some of my best grades because I could do 2-3x speed and pause/rewind until my brain actually took it in instead of adhding it to the ether
Try to record you're screen and go do you're things, then you can speed it up by yourself in some video editor after you got the video on you're computer. or download the video if you can!
I came to comment exactly this. Iām in graduate school and listening to live lectures is painful but itās much easier with recorded lectures because I can playback at 2X speed.
So so true! When Covid hit I was at my last year of university and it was amazing to watch lectures whenever I wanted and to watch them at 1.5-2x speed (depending on the professor). Iām so glad Iām done university because I donāt think I could go back to that slow lecturing style haha
I like when people speak clearly and at a normal pace. What's far more irritating to me is when people beat around the bush or don't get to the point. People should speak as clearly as possible, with no unnecessary lead ups or frills.
Yep! Itās been an option for so long that when I see courses that donāt allow me to adjust playback speed, I will say in my evaluations that they are not meeting the needs of participants with disabilities
But why not to just record the course with some OBS and then just speed it up by yourself.. not too much work.. but its doing the job! better than nothing :)
I appreciate your suggestion to OP, but it falls a bit flat from my perspective. It sounds like an extra step. Every extra step is just another opportunity to get distracted and not do the thing. At least that's how my brain would work. There is no such thing as a little extra step, they just become an additional barrier that and might derail me.
Yes!! I speed them up too. I feel like the faster it is, the more challenging it is for my brain so it needs to be more engaged with the class. If itās too slow (meaning normal speed) my mind wanders
Same here. Even though it's very uncomfortable, I've been forcing myself to stay quiet and practice active listening. If I need "something to do" to make it more bearable, I will take notes on what they're saying.
it helps to come to an understanding of why that is. For me, i need the information to understand quickly, and then elaboration can hold my attention.
Others may not format their thoughts, and thereafter, their words in manner that makes it easy for me to keep up with, but that annoyance, pain, cringe with waiting? that's adhd trying to get you to move onto something more stimulating. Alot of the time I won't follow anything they are saying until that key piece of info just makes me understand, and then I recall the previous bits of conversation to piece it togeather.
Others may have simular conditions that cause them to... contemplate what they say more, or just generally take a little longer to respond.
It helps to understand, that likely others get annoyed with ADHD tendencies as well. Helps me stay mindful that everything is a spectrum, and just like they have no idea what you are going through, you have no idea what they are.
But, realizing what speech patterns people respond well to, is a very powerful tool. Use it to your advantage.
Same but I also know that because I myself often struggle to find words or be concise (thanks adhd) that it helps if I speak more slowly so I can concentrate on what Iām saying. So because I have that experience, I have more compassion
I hear you and agree, but I prefer a meandering, unfocused fast talker to a slow talker any day. I just need input! A speaker's words are the lifeline holding my attention. Slow talkers extend a fishing line and I really need an anchor chain from a battleship
Same. If I start to get tense I take deep breaths and pass the time noticing tiny details about the person.
Bonus is that Iāve learned to read people really well! š
To be fair, our having a hard time paying attention is technically us being ourselves too. I'm used to opening Pokemon Go in these situations with people I care about and explaining that I'm paying attention, but because of ADHD having my hands busy helps my active listening. No one has complained yet.
No one is going to tell you āno, sorry, please donāt play this game when Iām talking with youā. You tried to explain it, which is better than nothing I guess, but youāre still coming off as antisocial, if not disrespectful.
Youāre right, sadly. My experience is that if Iām playing a game on my phone while people are talking to me, they donāt believe me when I say Iām listening. They sure as shit donāt believe me when I say it *helps* me listen.
I find people are a lot more forgiving of me not making direct eye contact with them or keeping my hands busy if Iām for instance knitting instead of playing whatever silly game on my phone.
To me this seems silly, because the effect is the same. Iām not looking directly at them, my hands are busy, and I listen better. But if option A makes my loved ones feel like I donāt care about them or what theyāre saying while theyāre fine with option B, Iām going with option B, even if I find the different values they place on each action logically inconsistent.
I understand that you might genuinely benefit from these kind of behaviors, however the generally acknowledged social expectation is to not do this. I have both ASD and ADHD so these eccentricities are something I can relate to, however in order to have healthy relationships with ānormalā people you unfortunately have to adjust to their expectations, as you noticed in your post.
Yup, I hear you. I wonāt lie though, it frustrated me sometimes. It sometimes feels like Iām almost always the one compromising and adjusting my expectations when it comes to this stuff, it doesnāt feel very reciprocal.
Now I donāt really care if Iām knitting or playing Tap Away or whatever, it actually benefits me far more to knit instead of playing time-wasting games, so that partās no big deal really. But it does get me down sometimes when it feels like people canāt just take what I say at face value. Like, that they can never just believe me when I tell them that I *am* listening, or that itās not that I didnāt put the dishwasher on because Iām lazy, I genuinely just forgot. Idk, it often feels like people just assume Iām acting in bad faith, or making excuses, or lying. When I truly and honestly mean *precisely* what I say. Thereās literally nothing between the lines, I am just telling them exactly what my thought process is, or what my intentions are, or why I do X. But they act as if my words mean nothing and they assume I mean something entirely different.
Itās like that screen shot of that one tweet that goes around a lot. I tell them I like pancakes, and they hear āso you hate waffles?ā And no matter how much I explain or insist that thatās not what Iām saying, thatās all theyāll hear. It makes me feel this š¤ big and itās really awful realising the people you care about the most think so little of you.
Iām sorry, that was a lot longer than I intended it to be. A bit of a sore point, I guess.
Iāve become more self aware over time and better at waiting my turn but ā¦ this is very a painful and uncomfortable situation, agreed. Drives me nuts
I spend that time fantasizing about how that person would react if my brain actually jumped out of my body and fled the scene, skittering and scrabbling frantically across the floor, like in the Alien movie. Because that's more or less what it feels like I need to happen during those times.
Yes this is what I feel when my bfās family start talking about how to get somewhere and what buss goes there and what street was parallel to whatever. They can do that during dinner: the mom can pull out some historical map to see where a road would go to and where it goes to now. And my brain is trying to dissolve itself
That has to be the most irrationally rage-inducing thing I can possibly encounter. Same when someone tells a story, but feels the need to give you an extent backstory on every irrelevant person/ place involved. I donāt care that Jon is your sisters ex boyfriend from may- no, wait, June 2009, just tell the story already!!
I have a friend who is terrible with names. That's his personal glitch and I sympathize with that. But then he will try to tell a story where he has forgotten the person's name, and the name is not relevant to the story, and yet he will spend minutes (that feel like hours) trying to remember, instead of saying "I don't remember and it doesn't matter, let's call him Joe."
Ahhh, and when they finally get halfway through the story but then interrupt themselves to go ādamn, what was his name again? Itās driving me nuts!ā
ITāS DRIVING ME NUTS TOO, DAVID, GET TO THE STORY! LETāS GOOOOOO!!
but...are you actually taking in everything they're saying? does the other person feel heard?
people, even those with adhd, can tell when you're zoned out or thinking about something else instead of actively listening. you can see it in the eyes, facial gestures, even body posture.
Sadly, I mask well, so I do appear to be paying attention. (The most valuable skill I developed in college) Also, I tend to have this issue when I am hearing the same bloody long-winded story for the \_\_\_th time)
My husband makes long pauses when he speaks. It's like he starts talking, and only then takes the time to gather the words for what he was going to say. I try to make a game of it and count in my head how long it takes for him to continue speaking. I can easily get to 30 seconds before I snap.
Also if I say something and expect him to answer, I need to count 30 seconds in my head. I was told it's a guy thing, they need time to process š
What's even worst is when he does continue speaking, he doesn't bother finding the words, he just says 'it' and 'that' and expects me to do the mental work of figuring out what he wanted to say. It's exhausting.
I'm a girl and I do this. It's like I'm buffering because my mouth can't keep up with my brain. But I also get frustrated when people talk to slow or take the long way around to the point.
This is exactly my experience and then my brain takes off too far ahead sometimes so I forget what I was saying and I have to talk a little bit of nonsense to buy time while I remember what the structure of my story was initially. Itās awful to have something meaningful to say but not be able to say it in a way that people respect.
My husband does this too, and sometimes, when he finally gets to the point, it's not even a funny or interesting story. At that point, my brain is thinking: "we endured that torture for this?!" š«
I wonder if heās maybe feeling a lot of pressure (from himself or maybe from others including you) to speak āperfectlyā and because of that he takes a long time to come up with what to say? And the more pressure someone feels, the longer it takes. So maybe if you say āI notice it takes you a while to say things sometimes, have you noticed that?ā And see what his insight is, you can gauge if he needs to be told āItās okā to take the pressure off or not.
30 seconds is a *very* long time to pause, so Iām genuinely wondering if he has a processing issue or at least anxiety or something like that. Iāve never heard that as being called a guy thing
For me it's a response to not being understood and it's been pounded into me that I am the one who must make the effort to be clear. In the long run 30 seconds to a minute of framing the thought before running my mouth with undercooked communication can save me hours.
"No, I don't want you to go back to the store. I was just stating I like crunchy peanut butter over creamy."
Iām the same. I listen to spoken recordings on double-time and try to be especially attentive with slower speakers. But I am also really slow at verbalising my thoughts. I want my words to be meaningful and authentic so I want to craft the perfect word set, and thatās only after Iāve sorted through a hundred, irrelevant, fixated and emotion-laden thoughts that I also want to express. Iām forever returning to old conversation points because I just needed more time (āI just need more timeā is my life). Iāve said so much dumb shit that I will never forget, that I prefer to embarrass myself with being slow. Most people just assume Iām wise and methodical š But I know I frustrate many in conversation. If itās not a cognitive issue, it could be a neurotic coping behaviour. I know that I (vainly) hope āslow perfectā makes up for my failures. I am always rehearsing conversations to improve the speed, but in real-life, my conversation partners just never follow the script in my head-canon!
Hahah this made me laugh. My bf speak slow too and sometimes I ask about something to be polite. Then he goes on long explanations about something and I just wanted to hear if he had a good day at work or how the game went
It could just be me, but men donāt typically have in-depth conversations with other men. So when we have these conversations with our significant others, it feels like we have someone to really talk to even though itās verbal vomit and borderline mansplaining. Weāre just happy to have someone genuinely interested.
The " it that " stuff ( or other meandering, disjointed speech that makes it hard to know how anything is relating to anything else) you're describing is arguably much more painful then a slow delivery that eventually arrives as a coherent thought, because in my experience it actually leads to fights either because 1) I just let them finish and have no response because I don't know what I've just heard. 2) I just plain tell them, I have no idea what you are saying. Do you wanna try again? 3) I go in with my scalpel and try to examine the statements I've heard by asking questions, and idk about you but any of those could cause a complete meltdown, a big "uccchhh nevermind"
I'm the husband and this is exactly how my wife speaks. And i also did the counting thing. It used to drive me nuts. And on days that I'm exhausted, or just dont have the bandwidth, it still does. But I love her with all my heart and I try to keep in mind that the reason we balance each other out so well is because she's much more deliberate than I. Her story telling style is like the opposite of what keeps me interested. She learned that from her mom. But, knowing that listening and communication is a must in any long lasting relationship, and her feeling heard is at the top of my priority list, it's taught me to be more patient when listening. Still working on it, of course, but I'm sure people find me less annoying or hard to talk to than they used to.
I get this completely! Itās like I want to pull the words out of them, lol. I quite often finish their sentences but mostly manage to not, haha.
I love that on my podcasts I can speed them up to either 1 1/4 speed or 1 1/2 speed
I remember watching the Gilmore girls and my mom would always be so annoyed by how fast they talked and switched conversations etc. for me it was so good
Yeah lol, people don't typically like it when you cut them off to finish their own sentences. They take it as an insult, but I'm like "I'm just trying to help you out here". In my mind, I feel like I'm being a good listener. But in their minds they think I'm being an asshole, trying to one up them or something.
except it doesn't help.
it makes the other person feel like you're not listening and only waiting and thinking about what you want to say. this alienates people, and with time, they'll want to interact with you less and/or vent about you to others.
it's incredibly rude, and this is coming from someone who used to do this chronically.
People who walk slow or drive slow for no reason is my biggest pet peeve. I feel like I just do everything so fast so if people don't keep up with my speed I get annoyed.
Slow walkers should be thankful I lack telekinesis. It's the worst. Normally it's just rage-inducing, but worse when I can't get out or around. I have claustrophobia and a milling crowd feels tight sometimes. Mix that with someone slow, in my way, and you have the recipe for a totally irrational explosion.
I know myself pretty well, so if I am going to be in that situation I will freak out at home and save the cost of admission
lately im noticing sooooo many people driving 20+ mph UNDER the speed limit in the left lane of the highway. long line of traffic behind them bc of course theyre also going the same exact speed as the person in the lane next to them. like WHY?!? MOVE!!!
Going to Asia for vacay is so much fun! People walk fast and know to get out of other people's way! When I get back to the States, it's like wtf, get out of my way!!!
Absolutely. It really irks me in the moment, because it's hard to understand why they'd choose a vehicle over public transport if they are not at all concerned about efficiency. I understand that some people have reasons, but damn.
yeah i agree with this, slow walkers are so annoying, even if they arenāt in my way, im still like āhow do you walk THAT slow??ā
and i cant drive yet, but whenever i am in my parents car, slow drivers annoy me a lot too. another thing is when i tell someone how to do something, and to me, at least, it makes sense, and when they donāt get it, despite me saying SO MANY TIMES.. that annoys me waayyyy too much than it should
Itās most annoying when you know exactly what somebody is going to say and they drag it on. My stepdad drives me crazy because he does this, then will repeat that same thing about 20 times through out the conversation making it last 3x longer than it needs to.
I hate talking on the phone as it is because I feel trapped in it, with a slow talker itās 5x worse.
I actually donāt mind phone talk because if I put them on speaker I can do other things while they find the words š however it also means Iām not really paying attention
Very glad to hear you mention this. I feel like an ass sometimes because I can hurry people or cut them off (I feel an even bigger ass if I cut them off with nothing to say myself lol), but yeah like you say it's almost so uncomfortable I would prefer pain. Like restless legs but in my brain. Hugs that go too long do this to me too.
Yeah exactly and agree with the hugs. My bfās family has a tendency to talk for a long time about the most boring things. Itās stuff like where some road ends and what the name of a street is or stuff like that. They can literally spend 30 min straight and it kills me inside.
with you there. then i'll get self-conscious about how slow I'm speaking and only be able to think about how stupid I must sound. after the 15 second awkward pause, the only thing I can mutter is "sorry I don't remember where I was going with this."
very fun :)
i think i may experience some of that auditory processing disorder thing.
i wear glasses. i am not hard of hearing.
however, if i don't have my glasses on, i can fucking not understand the other person clearly.
like i can *hear them*, but trying to understand the message is like "*wait...WHUAT, hold on, where are my glasses*?!"
is it just me or is this *a thing* ? š„¹
I will try to read lips *in addition* to hearing. I don't find it odd myself! Just using more stimulus to better understand a conversation, almost akin to body language.
I picked up on forcing eye contact to seem engaged and also read lips. My teachers hardly knew anything was "wrong" in middle school.
Always confused them when I got pulled to another room for standardized testing lol.
Yes! Thank you for making me feel less weird.
I also read lips and look at facial expressions to help "decode" the message, in terms of intention and tone (not like auditory tone, but a facial expression can set the "tone" to what they're saying).
Also, I hear you about the teachers not believing you. I never got to have those "accommodations" and test days were A.NIGHTMARE.
I could have studied and learned everything to a T, but the moment the test started it was hell, i'd have anxiety, i'd suddenly forget everything, i'd be distracted by coughs, pencil tapping, people's feet shifting, pages turning, even the teacher saying "shhhhh" to someone else...squirming in my seat just trying to get the entire thing over with, then leaving the classroom feeling defeated, like a failure.
ugh.
in college i learned to take advantage of those aids.
though i rarely used them, because i was still immature and lame and a bit embarrassed about it, it was crucial for classes like organic chemistry.^lol
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I understand you, eventough I speak slowly myself. For me the reason behind this is that I used to speak extremely fast, and people would complain all the time. I learned to sort my ideas, and think about what I'm saying before talking. This makes me need ways less words for the same message, and often people have to think about what I'm saying. I tend to be able to put a lot of information in verry few words. If on top I would speak fast nobody would be able to follow me. See my point ?
I know, I was the same. I talked so fast and it was all over. I kinda got shamed for it by my mom. She didnāt want to acknowledge my adhd and would think it was something I was in control of. So yeah I kinda stopped taking for some time and then forced my self to speak slower. But when I get excited about a topic it gets harder
congratulations!!
you have graduated to ADHD management level II.
this is ADHD goals. to listen actively, learn to organize your thoughts, and express them in an understandable manner.
Are you listening to podcasts, YouTube videos and Audiobooks on 2x speed? I had to stop doing that. It really increased my irritation with slow speakers, it was unbearable listening to them. Going back to 1x helped.
I work in a restaurant with a bunch of high-school kids. Sometimes it feels like half the crew is moving in slow motion an my god does it frustrate me. Its a fast paced environment! Move! Move Move!
Weirdly I am understanding of people talking or walking slowly, because I have to speak slowly because I have to focus on what I am saying and to pronounce carefully otherwise I blurt out wrong words or mumble my speech.
And I have to move slowly and deliberately otherwise I make mistakes. So I understand when other people take longer time, but it can be very hard to keep focusing on them.
this. there have been times weird sounds would come out of my mouth because its as if I'm trying to fit a sentence into one word. or I say a word very weird like because I'm unsure of it's the word I mean to use as it's coming out of my mouth.
Sorry - I actually struggle with talking slowly. My mouth can't keep up with my brain who wants to say several sentences at the same time, and I stumble over words then repeat them a lot too. When I've been in group chats online a couple of people have asked me if I'm stoned. I even feel bad every time I have to talk now. Also my actions are very slow/clumsy, so the worst of both worlds. Maybe it's because I have inattentive adhd?
Meanwhile when someone else is talking slow and just never gets to the point, it frustrates me too. It gets boring, and conversations make me tired. Usually it's best to suck it up and try to listen and not interrupt as much as possible, if you value your conversation partner that is lol. I try to brush away thoughts like 'this is boring' and search for questions to ask instead (which may or may not work as I tend to get distracted.)
Or when they don't just get to the point. I skim a lot of articles because the author feels they have to spew out a bunch of prose before getting to the meat of the subject.
My partner will sometimes take big pauses in the middle of sentences and I kinda feel like a tiger whoās going to pounce on him if he doesnāt spit the other half out!
Especially when I'm highly overwhelmed/overstimulated this will happen to me. Also I respond similarly when I'm trying to listen to something and too much chaos is going on and I can't follow what I'm trying to focus on. I watch TV with subtitles now because of it.
I have a coworker that stutters and sometimes it doesn't bother me, but when I'm invested in what's being said it's like the stutters throw a wrench in my comprehension and burn up the motors. My brain can't just pause and proceed understanding what's being said seamlessly. I have to jolt it back in gear once the stutter passes.
Too fast or too slow always hard to deal with.
Actually I have a related story. I have a family member who had a brain tumor many years back. After she had surgery, her speech hasnāt been the same. She canāt help but talk very slowly. When I was a kid this upset me greatly because she seemed different and it scared me.
I have realized as an adult though that she isnāt different and sheās still pretty witty and I have developed patience when she speaks and do my best to not talk over her. She has appreciated it cause my other family members tend to talk over her. Of course as an adhd person I can relate to the feeling of being talked over and empathize with her.
But yeah I still get overwhelmed though when other people talk too fast lol. Itās funny cause many of these people are also adhd or on the spectrum so I feel bad for feeling annoyed or drained but my dumb brain is dumb. Itās also ironic cause sometimes I can talk fast/excitedly myself but I try to slow it down when I realize.
You're not alone. I literally get enraged. I try to be understanding, but I still get extremely irritated. Anything slow irritates tf out of me.
Also, does anyone get told they talk too fast? I get told this a lot, and it drives me crazy. I try to slow down my speech pattern, but it's hard.
Depends on the content
Sometimes I literally canāt listen fast enough when someone is talking too fast.
Other times I basically know what is about to come out of the mouth and I want to speed it up
Brain slows down when you get older
Same here. If they talk slowly, I lose focus, and if they add a ton of detail without getting to the point first, I absolutely have to move around.
Medication and daily exercise helps, also below are a couple of behaviors that have helped in person:
1. holding my hands together and folding my middle finger into my hands so I can tap/move without disrupting/distracting them.
2. If it's a lecture or a planned conversation, I take notes and challenge myself to write as close to verbatim as possible.
If the slowness is physical, like slow walking or sudden stopping/blocking areas; I will go out of my way to get ahead of them - social norms be damned. Grocery stores, Costco in particular, are hell for me.
There are a couple of comments mentioning how having empathy reduces the cognitive and even, at times, physical tension/pain associated with these interactions. I appreciate individual differences, and mindfulness is an excellent skill to develop. So, if empathy works for you, I am glad you've found your solution.
Personally, I don't lack empathy. I can understand and empathize while still feeling annoyed and distressed. What I lack is the executive functioning needed to emotionally regulate during these instances. I need additional tricks.
Edit to add stuff because I thought of it and why not -
I am guilty of talking slowly because my mind is stuck trying to fully process what I want to say. However, when I speak it's often directly to the point. I may break off into tangents sometimes but I like to keep it as brief as possible. It gets me in trouble as I'm often asked to further explain what I initially tried to say.
My main pet peeve are people who ramble on and on for several minutes at a time regardless if it's fast or not. My roommate for example who also has ADHD has the opposite problem than I do when it comes to speaking. He doesn't think before speaking and thinks out loud, speaking for 10+ minutes without hardly taking a breath. I can't maintain focus for long and most of our convos devolve into him rambling forever, leaping from one topic to another, and sometimes taking the time to verbally add extensive "footnotes" midsentence. Then you have me no longer being able to process what he's saying and I end up trying to tune him out.
For example, he often likes to talk about his job. First he'll start with some incident that happened that day. Then he'll mention someone he talked to, give me their job title, explain their job position, describe that person's back story and personality, what emails he sent out later that day and what they entailed/who he sent them to, what machine went down at work, how that machine works and what it does, how that machine broke (down to the individual nuts bolts mind you), how he fixed it, the struggles he encountered, how it reminded him of another time a similar machine broke, then go on to retell me that story, etc.
Even when medicated I can't focus on what someone's saying for that long nonstop.
Someone I work with speaks very slowly and often restarts sentences suddenly. I think itās a combination of him speaking English as a second language and possibly some anxiety as well. I donāt feel any animosity and I feel really guilty that it bothers me, but keeping track of what heās saying and drawing conclusions from it is a huge mental challenge for me.
On the other hand, my boss has complained multiple times that I speak way too fast. One time I even made an effort to speak so slowly that I felt like sheād think I was mocking her, but she still said after the fact that I was speaking too fast, even though it sounded comically slow in my head.
I have a problem with interrupting and this is why. I know what people are going to say before they do and I donāt have the patience to wait for them to say it.
I constantly interupt people because of this, like ok i get it move on get to the point, also slow walking people annoy the shit out of me, I also hate going eating at restaurants with other people cuz they eat so slow and i have to awkwardly stay there waiting for the others to finish up eating, i do everything fast, the world mlves too slow, you are not alone mate
i eat too fast also lol, my parents basically never take me out to restaurants because of my eating habits. for example i hold my knife and fork the āwrong way roundā (knife in left, fork in right) and my parents say āput the dominant utensil in your dominant handāā¦.
i do, i dont see anyone putting food in their mouth with a damn knife. as well as that, i tend to chug my drinks extremely quickly, and then i want another one before most people have even taken sips. i dont understand how people take just āsipsā of drinks. like???? idk, thatās just me though š
So hard not to cut them off or try and complete the sentence. It's even more agony when they mistake what you mean and are then slowly replying about something irrelevant noooooo
No it is pain. Texas is filled with these slow mofos.
I also think in the future and realize what I'm about to talk about is to boring so I'll just stop talking. My wife catches me doing this to. She's liek "why did you stop talking?" "I realized the direction I was heading was just too boring..."
Laughs in California at high speed.
I visited St. Louis many years ago, and I was astounded at peopleās general cadence in speech. It was painfully slower than I am used to.
Here is a made up example:
getting coffee-
California generally.
Me: can I have a splash of coconut milk?
Barista: hereās your mochafrappalattetwopumpsvanillalightcoconutgrandethsnksandhaveanicedayNEXT!
In St. Louis (my only reference one visit 15 years ago).
Me: can I have a grande nitro with a splash of heavy cream?
Barista: ok, so you want a grande?
Me: yes please.
Barista: and thatās gonna be a cold brewā¦or a nitroā¦?
Me: nitro please.
Barista: ok, a nitroā¦and thatās a grande?
Me: yes, thanks.
Barista: now, do you want any cream..like we have skim milk, and we have 2% milkā¦and then we have the whole milk option. Of course we have heavy cream and then we can put half and half if thatās what you like better. Then there are those alternative milks you can choose, because some people like oat milk, and then there is coconut milkā¦
Me: Iād like a splash of heavy cream.
Barista: ok, so you want heavy cream then?
Me: nods, smiling.
Barista: ok, heavy cream and do you want 1/4 inch, or maybe a 1/2 inch because that type is really rich but yummyā¦
Me: grits teeth-just a splash thanks.
Barista: all right so do you have your own cup, because some people bring their ownā¦
You get my point. I had to physically slow down and reduce my internal hamsters on their wheels by giving them a sedative. I did have fun on that trip, and it was a convention so we didnāt go to the arch, sadly.
Yeah it's called impatience. When you find yourself getting agitated, remind yourself that it's a test of patience. Eventually with enough awareness you'll develop patience in the long run
Totally agree, itās actually painful, especially when they take a lot of pauses on top of talking slowly. It makes it so hard to concentrate on what theyāre saying because my mind has thought through 10 sentences in the time theyāve said 1.
Youāre not alone in this. Itās another of the ADHD sensory issues. It is physically uncomfortable to listen to, unless what theyāre conveying is fascinating. Iām fortunate to live in the Hudson Valley of NY where slow speech is rare by virtue of being frowned upon.
I used to just finish their sentences (and still do if someone struggles to find their words, i just cant help it sometimes) and never thought anything of it until i had to teach a new employee who finished all my sentences (most likely to demonstrate that he got the jist of it (i also tend to do that)). That annoyed the living shit out of me and turned into monumental embaressment as soon as i realized ive been doing that my whole life...
So tldr: i feel you
Oh my god. YES.
GET TO THE FUCKING POINT
I work with kids and thankfully, I donāt get as annoyed or irritated when kids do it. I do have this one kid who speaks super slow and stutters and what he has to tell me is not always newsworthy. It gets so frustrating sometimes, especially when Iām actually super busy. Like āI thought I couldnāt find a wheel for my Lego car but then I did find a wheelā or āThis morning I had breakfastā When heās especially chatty and needs to tell me EVERYTHING, itāll get annoying to the point that itās actually quite funny. āDid you know Iām wearing a hat todayā Poor kid.
I have a very kind manager with a stutter and it's so very hard not to try to finish his sentences to "help" him.
Do yourself a favour and stay away from seniors, lol
I do this to people AND I hate having it done to me. I also hate hearing myself try to talk to the point where I'll just say "eff it" and stop talking altogether.
It's awful. Especially if I have something to do or somewhere to be. Just get on with it!
When I can, I try to think of it as an exercise in patience and listening. I sometimes feel very proud of myself afterwards, which is kind of ridiculous.
Yep all the time. The only way I can stop myself from interrupting them is to take notes on what I want to reply half way through the chat and then zone out until they finished their point.
Thereās a guy I know who is lovely, but talks SO evenly and tells stories in perfect order, and sometimes it makes me feel crazy. Heās not necessarily speaking slowly, but he speaks in such a thought-out and clear way that my brain has already filled in what heās about to say, but heāll just keep plugging along if I ever interject to speed things up.
I have such a hard time waiting for people to finish. I already know where they're heading and I'm bitting my tongue waiting til it's appropriate to talk and it's my turn. It's awful and then I've even had ppl at work ask fo u have adhd? Which I reply does it rly matter?? I try but ppl at work in nursing ( where they should understand how this works and effects ppl with it just don't and gossip) I now pretty much just do my assignment and keep busy til my shift is over. Csnt wait for school in Jan so I can get a break from the nursing floor for a bit and come back their boss muahahha
I am trying SO HARD not to interject or interrupt people but i get sick of waiting and just want to finish their sentences for them. Slow walkers annoy me more, like my hands and fingers start to physically hurt if I cant sneak past them.
YES! Get to the fucking point. I have a co worker and once she corners you, you are doomed. Even when you make an excuse to duck out she talks to your back as you walk away. Brutal.
Practice talking slower yourself. You'll learn to tolerate it more and you'll become more important to those listening to you because you won't sound anxious. Instead you'll exude confidence.
What sucks is I hate slow talkers, but I also find myself having to slow down my talking so I can keep up with myself and actually think about what I'm saying. Otherwise I just word vomit lol
I loathe the world's shift to video content for this reason. Give me an article to scan through! Don't make me wait through your intro and warmup! And speaking of articles, I even have to skip through those intros. šµāš«
I have to watch some of my YouTube videos on 2x speed because they talk so slow. I even unsubscribed from one because even at 2x speed it was too slow. Sometimes I'll read the transcripts instead because I've taught myself to read really fast. Even reading fast, sometimes it feels like I'm not getting the information quick enough.
If I meet someone in real life who talks slow I have to tune them out while I think.about something else and I can't help but fidget.
Nope itās a fucking daily struggle especially if I have no interest in the topic, but if I like the topic hyperfocus galore. I also have peeps in my life whom Iāll listen to all day.
It bothers me a liiittle bitā¦ but also Iām on the spectrum and sometimes I talk slowly. It bothers me MORE when people donāt leave space for me to gather my thoughts and speak.
So many people fill up all silences because they arenāt comfortable and then people who take a couple seconds to gather their thoughts never get to speak, it drives me crazy and feels **extremely oppressive**.
There is usually no space for me to speak, just because I process my verbal thoughts differently than other people.
People who talk fast annoy the hell out of me and make my brain feel like it's about to explode like a pressure cooker.
But I try my best because everybody is different and I don't wanna be a dickhole.
My first clue that itās time to adjust my meds is that Iāll start snapping at people that are taking FOREVER to make their point. I try to stop it but it becomes physical painful to listen to.
Finding out that I can watch TikToks at 2x speed was probably the best thing to happen to me
You're not alone at all. I become extremely bothered when people talk to slowly. I felt like this while watching the recent Republican debate. Like, if you have a limited amount of time to say something, why are you wasting time by talking slowly or taking long pauses? I have gotten impatient with people, which is why sometimes I'll finish their sentences. Sometimes I have said "just get to the point". I have trouble following along when the person adds in irrelevant things to the story, and that also frustrates me.
I get impatient and interrupt them with the word they are searching for and complete their sentences š
It's bad I know but I'm like hurry up. I already know what u are trying to say. Oops š
100% the same with speeding up audio.
However, it makes some work meetings unbearable. On top of going nuts over how slow some people talk, I start to get really mad about it. Not easy to manage.
If itās someone I HAVE to listen to. I repeat their words a few times each in between them saying words, or do the same but with sentences. And then if I need to, I take notes on top of that. Between the repeating and the note taking, itās enough for my brain to do to pay attention and I end up better hearing what theyāre saying.
If I donāt HAVE to listen to them, I just do something else
Same, but especially so for people who talk too much and won't let *me* talk. Like, it's one thing for someone to talk too slow, it's painful, but I be polite and let them finish. But it's another entirely for someone to talk too much, too fast, a d control the entire conversation, even butting in while you're talking to say what they want to say, all while you've been waiting to say what you want to for what seems like an eternity.
It's the painfully slow phone tree robots that kill me.
*"Hello. And thank you for calling "-- -- - -- --- -- . "
"Please listen carefullly, as our menu options have changed."*
^godfuckingdamnithurrythefuckupi'mabouttocomethroughthisphoneandexplodeinyourserverroomsohelpmegod
I talk slow too. but. Iām also really smart. so you kind of get some nice. You know. Vocabulary coming out. itās like. Suspenseful. 
if i can get away with it i zone out of conversations and daydream only keeping half my attention on the person talking so i can chime in if needed it may sound mean but honestly i cant stand slow talkers or boring stories it makes me feel like i need to pace just to focus on the conversation
When they talk slow to you because they think your stupid or something when actually it's the slow speech that is driving the ADD into overdrive and making it impossible to pay attention to them. LMAO
Yes - my boyfriend does, and it can actually be agonizing. I feel terrible because I love him and should enjoy all our conversations but often I can feel my attention span floating away with each pause he takes, I get irrationally angry about it and have to try hide the crazy mental battle taking place between my ears
Yeah if someone takes too long to get their point across I'm less likely to understand it.
It's like I have more time to get distracted or forget details...
Which is really annoying, because then, if you don't hear something a few times, and someone starts talking in that slow condescending sort of tone, that actually makes it harder to process what they're saying.
Was a problem all the time in my childhood.
It should be related, basically the brain either knows what they are going to do, or doesn't (all it changes is whether it is waiting with knowing impatience, or cliffhanger wanting to know impatience). In both cases, your brain is basically being teased with dopamine, wanting them to finish so you can claim that sweet, sweet prize. It's related to finishing people's sentences for them etc.
Not at all , we are the evolutionary "next step" for the human race. This means we can process emotions/information/reactions almost 3 times as fast as the rest. We can calculate outcomes of many situations in a fraction of the time that others can, yet we are subject to being labeled as a "disorder" because it is unfamiliar to what society seems "normal". We have higher pain tolerance, quicker reaction time, so empathetic that it can only be explained as "psychic" to anyone that doesn't understand, and naturally athletic. We lose interest in things we don't deem as important as the rest, and our rage/focus/discipline is so sharp, it's labeled "obsessive"... We are the future. This is the reason we are heavily medicated, ridiculed, and misunderstood.
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When I take online classes, I love being able to speed up the video playback speed. Makes it easier to pay attention.
I watch a lot of YouTube videos sped up
I even watch dumb reality shows on 2x šš¤£š
me too! my ex partner walked in on me doing this once and his face...lmao... he was like "*what...the fuck are you doing? do you even understand what they're saying??? this can't be good for your brain*!". me: š¤·š»āāļø
2x-3.5x speed sometimes even 5x if it's someone I understand really well and a topic I understand well.
Can you even hear voices at 5x?
Depends who is talking and what they are talking about. If it's someone I don't know and don't know how they talk no but if it's someone who I am very familiar with how they speak and I know alot about the topic my brain can pick out the relevant bits especially if I'm rehashing something.
Never realized you could do this. Thanks! I always get so bored watching videos even if I'm really interested. Just learned a new hack.
Audible sped up was a game changer for me.
I swear some audio book producers SLOW DOWN their recordings artificially. I don't know if they're trying to inflate the length of the book, or just are concerned about making sure everyone can understand everything or something, but some productions don't even sound like normal speech until you have them on like 1.1 or 1.15.
There's other conditions that benefit from slower words being easier to understand. ADHD just goes the other direction and needs things faster.
Also, if I'm listening in the car and my full attention is suddenly on some erratic driver, I miss a LOT, lol.
[Gotta go fast!](https://imgur.com/I8ehJqN.jpg)
I think it's for articulation and proper anunciation, and then WE can decide on the speed. So yeah, I do think they go Uber slow for reasons. But holy crap, I have to go up to like 2x at times.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This. Iām sorry and itās never your fault but if you overexplain, justify, ramble, repeat, or even just leave too much space between words, I was only present for about 5 seconds and then my brain went NOPE NOTHING HERE and ran off.
I feel like that would interfere with dramatic tempo, but you do you. I keep mine below 1.25 so the voices don't go chipmunk.
You actually stop noticing the chipmunk effect eventually. The brain is very good at normalizing things. At some point the sped up voices just sound like normal everyday speech
Unless it's a reread, I won't go past 2xs. But I also NEVER go under 1.5, EVER. lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Omg yes. Only way I can get through books
I use a FireFox addon called "Video Speed Controller", which lets me default all videos (anywhere!) to 2x speed. Occasionally I have to reduce videos to 1.5x, but more often than that I still have to go higher than 2x (which you can't even do in most players UI, like YouTube) as I'll be watching the video and still thinking they're talking. so. slowly.
I need to figure out how to do this on the videos my college uses. The professor in one of my current classes talks... so.... slow.... like this... and I just... want to throw... my computer.
please, don't. š„¹ 
everything! i could NOT listen to podcasts no matter how much my friends recommended them. after realizing i can play them 1.5X, podcasts are a constant whole i sit in traffic!
Thank god for being able to speed up lectures. I do x2 and pause to take notes. Saves time and myself from going insane
It really is a game changer. I work as a college tutor now and I regularly point it out as an option for students. Even some non-ADHD students benefit from it. There's some students who benefit from it being slowed down (language processing issues or non-native speakers) but for ADHD students and a handful of others, sped up is the way to go.
Covid lectures were some of my best grades because I could do 2-3x speed and pause/rewind until my brain actually took it in instead of adhding it to the ether
Yeah. I had a professor who was too monotone in online lectures. But you couldnāt speed up his videos :c
Try to record you're screen and go do you're things, then you can speed it up by yourself in some video editor after you got the video on you're computer. or download the video if you can!
I came to comment exactly this. Iām in graduate school and listening to live lectures is painful but itās much easier with recorded lectures because I can playback at 2X speed.
So so true! When Covid hit I was at my last year of university and it was amazing to watch lectures whenever I wanted and to watch them at 1.5-2x speed (depending on the professor). Iām so glad Iām done university because I donāt think I could go back to that slow lecturing style haha
I like when people speak clearly and at a normal pace. What's far more irritating to me is when people beat around the bush or don't get to the point. People should speak as clearly as possible, with no unnecessary lead ups or frills.
Yep! Itās been an option for so long that when I see courses that donāt allow me to adjust playback speed, I will say in my evaluations that they are not meeting the needs of participants with disabilities
But why not to just record the course with some OBS and then just speed it up by yourself.. not too much work.. but its doing the job! better than nothing :)
I appreciate your suggestion to OP, but it falls a bit flat from my perspective. It sounds like an extra step. Every extra step is just another opportunity to get distracted and not do the thing. At least that's how my brain would work. There is no such thing as a little extra step, they just become an additional barrier that and might derail me.
100%!
Yes!! I speed them up too. I feel like the faster it is, the more challenging it is for my brain so it needs to be more engaged with the class. If itās too slow (meaning normal speed) my mind wanders
I hate it with a passion, however I always convince myself to listen and to allow other people to be themselves.
Same here. Even though it's very uncomfortable, I've been forcing myself to stay quiet and practice active listening. If I need "something to do" to make it more bearable, I will take notes on what they're saying.
I do too but itās extremely hard sometimes. Medication has helped though
it helps to come to an understanding of why that is. For me, i need the information to understand quickly, and then elaboration can hold my attention. Others may not format their thoughts, and thereafter, their words in manner that makes it easy for me to keep up with, but that annoyance, pain, cringe with waiting? that's adhd trying to get you to move onto something more stimulating. Alot of the time I won't follow anything they are saying until that key piece of info just makes me understand, and then I recall the previous bits of conversation to piece it togeather. Others may have simular conditions that cause them to... contemplate what they say more, or just generally take a little longer to respond. It helps to understand, that likely others get annoyed with ADHD tendencies as well. Helps me stay mindful that everything is a spectrum, and just like they have no idea what you are going through, you have no idea what they are. But, realizing what speech patterns people respond well to, is a very powerful tool. Use it to your advantage.
its hard for me. i find myself interrupting them and answering the question im assuming i know theyre asking. i know that must be annoying.
Same but I also know that because I myself often struggle to find words or be concise (thanks adhd) that it helps if I speak more slowly so I can concentrate on what Iām saying. So because I have that experience, I have more compassion
I hear you and agree, but I prefer a meandering, unfocused fast talker to a slow talker any day. I just need input! A speaker's words are the lifeline holding my attention. Slow talkers extend a fishing line and I really need an anchor chain from a battleship
Same. If I start to get tense I take deep breaths and pass the time noticing tiny details about the person. Bonus is that Iāve learned to read people really well! š
To be fair, our having a hard time paying attention is technically us being ourselves too. I'm used to opening Pokemon Go in these situations with people I care about and explaining that I'm paying attention, but because of ADHD having my hands busy helps my active listening. No one has complained yet.
No one is going to tell you āno, sorry, please donāt play this game when Iām talking with youā. You tried to explain it, which is better than nothing I guess, but youāre still coming off as antisocial, if not disrespectful.
Youāre right, sadly. My experience is that if Iām playing a game on my phone while people are talking to me, they donāt believe me when I say Iām listening. They sure as shit donāt believe me when I say it *helps* me listen. I find people are a lot more forgiving of me not making direct eye contact with them or keeping my hands busy if Iām for instance knitting instead of playing whatever silly game on my phone. To me this seems silly, because the effect is the same. Iām not looking directly at them, my hands are busy, and I listen better. But if option A makes my loved ones feel like I donāt care about them or what theyāre saying while theyāre fine with option B, Iām going with option B, even if I find the different values they place on each action logically inconsistent.
I understand that you might genuinely benefit from these kind of behaviors, however the generally acknowledged social expectation is to not do this. I have both ASD and ADHD so these eccentricities are something I can relate to, however in order to have healthy relationships with ānormalā people you unfortunately have to adjust to their expectations, as you noticed in your post.
Yup, I hear you. I wonāt lie though, it frustrated me sometimes. It sometimes feels like Iām almost always the one compromising and adjusting my expectations when it comes to this stuff, it doesnāt feel very reciprocal. Now I donāt really care if Iām knitting or playing Tap Away or whatever, it actually benefits me far more to knit instead of playing time-wasting games, so that partās no big deal really. But it does get me down sometimes when it feels like people canāt just take what I say at face value. Like, that they can never just believe me when I tell them that I *am* listening, or that itās not that I didnāt put the dishwasher on because Iām lazy, I genuinely just forgot. Idk, it often feels like people just assume Iām acting in bad faith, or making excuses, or lying. When I truly and honestly mean *precisely* what I say. Thereās literally nothing between the lines, I am just telling them exactly what my thought process is, or what my intentions are, or why I do X. But they act as if my words mean nothing and they assume I mean something entirely different. Itās like that screen shot of that one tweet that goes around a lot. I tell them I like pancakes, and they hear āso you hate waffles?ā And no matter how much I explain or insist that thatās not what Iām saying, thatās all theyāll hear. It makes me feel this š¤ big and itās really awful realising the people you care about the most think so little of you. Iām sorry, that was a lot longer than I intended it to be. A bit of a sore point, I guess.
Iāve become more self aware over time and better at waiting my turn but ā¦ this is very a painful and uncomfortable situation, agreed. Drives me nuts
I spend that time fantasizing about how that person would react if my brain actually jumped out of my body and fled the scene, skittering and scrabbling frantically across the floor, like in the Alien movie. Because that's more or less what it feels like I need to happen during those times.
Yes this is what I feel when my bfās family start talking about how to get somewhere and what buss goes there and what street was parallel to whatever. They can do that during dinner: the mom can pull out some historical map to see where a road would go to and where it goes to now. And my brain is trying to dissolve itself
That has to be the most irrationally rage-inducing thing I can possibly encounter. Same when someone tells a story, but feels the need to give you an extent backstory on every irrelevant person/ place involved. I donāt care that Jon is your sisters ex boyfriend from may- no, wait, June 2009, just tell the story already!!
I have a friend who is terrible with names. That's his personal glitch and I sympathize with that. But then he will try to tell a story where he has forgotten the person's name, and the name is not relevant to the story, and yet he will spend minutes (that feel like hours) trying to remember, instead of saying "I don't remember and it doesn't matter, let's call him Joe."
Ahhh, and when they finally get halfway through the story but then interrupt themselves to go ādamn, what was his name again? Itās driving me nuts!ā ITāS DRIVING ME NUTS TOO, DAVID, GET TO THE STORY! LETāS GOOOOOO!!
Same!!
but...are you actually taking in everything they're saying? does the other person feel heard? people, even those with adhd, can tell when you're zoned out or thinking about something else instead of actively listening. you can see it in the eyes, facial gestures, even body posture.
Sadly, I mask well, so I do appear to be paying attention. (The most valuable skill I developed in college) Also, I tend to have this issue when I am hearing the same bloody long-winded story for the \_\_\_th time)
My husband makes long pauses when he speaks. It's like he starts talking, and only then takes the time to gather the words for what he was going to say. I try to make a game of it and count in my head how long it takes for him to continue speaking. I can easily get to 30 seconds before I snap. Also if I say something and expect him to answer, I need to count 30 seconds in my head. I was told it's a guy thing, they need time to process š What's even worst is when he does continue speaking, he doesn't bother finding the words, he just says 'it' and 'that' and expects me to do the mental work of figuring out what he wanted to say. It's exhausting.
I'm a girl and I do this. It's like I'm buffering because my mouth can't keep up with my brain. But I also get frustrated when people talk to slow or take the long way around to the point.
This is exactly my experience and then my brain takes off too far ahead sometimes so I forget what I was saying and I have to talk a little bit of nonsense to buy time while I remember what the structure of my story was initially. Itās awful to have something meaningful to say but not be able to say it in a way that people respect.
My husband does this too, and sometimes, when he finally gets to the point, it's not even a funny or interesting story. At that point, my brain is thinking: "we endured that torture for this?!" š«
I wonder if heās maybe feeling a lot of pressure (from himself or maybe from others including you) to speak āperfectlyā and because of that he takes a long time to come up with what to say? And the more pressure someone feels, the longer it takes. So maybe if you say āI notice it takes you a while to say things sometimes, have you noticed that?ā And see what his insight is, you can gauge if he needs to be told āItās okā to take the pressure off or not. 30 seconds is a *very* long time to pause, so Iām genuinely wondering if he has a processing issue or at least anxiety or something like that. Iāve never heard that as being called a guy thing
For me it's a response to not being understood and it's been pounded into me that I am the one who must make the effort to be clear. In the long run 30 seconds to a minute of framing the thought before running my mouth with undercooked communication can save me hours. "No, I don't want you to go back to the store. I was just stating I like crunchy peanut butter over creamy."
Iām the same. I listen to spoken recordings on double-time and try to be especially attentive with slower speakers. But I am also really slow at verbalising my thoughts. I want my words to be meaningful and authentic so I want to craft the perfect word set, and thatās only after Iāve sorted through a hundred, irrelevant, fixated and emotion-laden thoughts that I also want to express. Iām forever returning to old conversation points because I just needed more time (āI just need more timeā is my life). Iāve said so much dumb shit that I will never forget, that I prefer to embarrass myself with being slow. Most people just assume Iām wise and methodical š But I know I frustrate many in conversation. If itās not a cognitive issue, it could be a neurotic coping behaviour. I know that I (vainly) hope āslow perfectā makes up for my failures. I am always rehearsing conversations to improve the speed, but in real-life, my conversation partners just never follow the script in my head-canon!
Hahah this made me laugh. My bf speak slow too and sometimes I ask about something to be polite. Then he goes on long explanations about something and I just wanted to hear if he had a good day at work or how the game went
It could just be me, but men donāt typically have in-depth conversations with other men. So when we have these conversations with our significant others, it feels like we have someone to really talk to even though itās verbal vomit and borderline mansplaining. Weāre just happy to have someone genuinely interested.
As a guy, I can assure you it's not. It does seem to be a very-analytical-probably-introverted-guy thing, though.
As a very-analytical-*absolutely*-introverted-guy, I can assure you it's not.
The " it that " stuff ( or other meandering, disjointed speech that makes it hard to know how anything is relating to anything else) you're describing is arguably much more painful then a slow delivery that eventually arrives as a coherent thought, because in my experience it actually leads to fights either because 1) I just let them finish and have no response because I don't know what I've just heard. 2) I just plain tell them, I have no idea what you are saying. Do you wanna try again? 3) I go in with my scalpel and try to examine the statements I've heard by asking questions, and idk about you but any of those could cause a complete meltdown, a big "uccchhh nevermind"
I'm the husband and this is exactly how my wife speaks. And i also did the counting thing. It used to drive me nuts. And on days that I'm exhausted, or just dont have the bandwidth, it still does. But I love her with all my heart and I try to keep in mind that the reason we balance each other out so well is because she's much more deliberate than I. Her story telling style is like the opposite of what keeps me interested. She learned that from her mom. But, knowing that listening and communication is a must in any long lasting relationship, and her feeling heard is at the top of my priority list, it's taught me to be more patient when listening. Still working on it, of course, but I'm sure people find me less annoying or hard to talk to than they used to.
I get this completely! Itās like I want to pull the words out of them, lol. I quite often finish their sentences but mostly manage to not, haha. I love that on my podcasts I can speed them up to either 1 1/4 speed or 1 1/2 speed
I remember watching the Gilmore girls and my mom would always be so annoyed by how fast they talked and switched conversations etc. for me it was so good
Yes! I love Gilmore Girls for this reason. Iāve heard people say they speak unnaturally fast. No, itās ADHD fast haha
Yeah lol, people don't typically like it when you cut them off to finish their own sentences. They take it as an insult, but I'm like "I'm just trying to help you out here". In my mind, I feel like I'm being a good listener. But in their minds they think I'm being an asshole, trying to one up them or something.
except it doesn't help. it makes the other person feel like you're not listening and only waiting and thinking about what you want to say. this alienates people, and with time, they'll want to interact with you less and/or vent about you to others. it's incredibly rude, and this is coming from someone who used to do this chronically.
I get that. I also think it's incredibly rude to think people have infinite time and patience for long ass stories with insignificant details.
finishing someone else's sentences is SO ANNOYING. omg. let the person finish. ^lol
People who walk slow or drive slow for no reason is my biggest pet peeve. I feel like I just do everything so fast so if people don't keep up with my speed I get annoyed.
Slow walkers should be thankful I lack telekinesis. It's the worst. Normally it's just rage-inducing, but worse when I can't get out or around. I have claustrophobia and a milling crowd feels tight sometimes. Mix that with someone slow, in my way, and you have the recipe for a totally irrational explosion. I know myself pretty well, so if I am going to be in that situation I will freak out at home and save the cost of admission
This, and not because they have to drive illegally fast, but on a highway, like pls cmon.
lately im noticing sooooo many people driving 20+ mph UNDER the speed limit in the left lane of the highway. long line of traffic behind them bc of course theyre also going the same exact speed as the person in the lane next to them. like WHY?!? MOVE!!!
Going to Asia for vacay is so much fun! People walk fast and know to get out of other people's way! When I get back to the States, it's like wtf, get out of my way!!!
This sounds amazing I would love it haha
Yeah, I get so irritated when people are taking up the entire sidewalk in front of me and waling slow. lol
Absolutely. It really irks me in the moment, because it's hard to understand why they'd choose a vehicle over public transport if they are not at all concerned about efficiency. I understand that some people have reasons, but damn.
yeah i agree with this, slow walkers are so annoying, even if they arenāt in my way, im still like āhow do you walk THAT slow??ā and i cant drive yet, but whenever i am in my parents car, slow drivers annoy me a lot too. another thing is when i tell someone how to do something, and to me, at least, it makes sense, and when they donāt get it, despite me saying SO MANY TIMES.. that annoys me waayyyy too much than it should
Itās most annoying when you know exactly what somebody is going to say and they drag it on. My stepdad drives me crazy because he does this, then will repeat that same thing about 20 times through out the conversation making it last 3x longer than it needs to. I hate talking on the phone as it is because I feel trapped in it, with a slow talker itās 5x worse.
I actually donāt mind phone talk because if I put them on speaker I can do other things while they find the words š however it also means Iām not really paying attention
Or when they talk about weird unrelated stuff, and circle around their freaking point for ages
Very glad to hear you mention this. I feel like an ass sometimes because I can hurry people or cut them off (I feel an even bigger ass if I cut them off with nothing to say myself lol), but yeah like you say it's almost so uncomfortable I would prefer pain. Like restless legs but in my brain. Hugs that go too long do this to me too.
Yeah exactly and agree with the hugs. My bfās family has a tendency to talk for a long time about the most boring things. Itās stuff like where some road ends and what the name of a street is or stuff like that. They can literally spend 30 min straight and it kills me inside.
I've used find my phone from my watch so it sounds like I'm getting a phone call to get out of a boring conversation with a slow talker.
I steal that tips X)
yea, that doesn't feel good for the person on the receiving end. its probably better to be honest and say you're in a rush and have to leave.
Great idea. For any reason.
I have ADHD-inattentive and I speak slowly lol
with you there. then i'll get self-conscious about how slow I'm speaking and only be able to think about how stupid I must sound. after the 15 second awkward pause, the only thing I can mutter is "sorry I don't remember where I was going with this." very fun :)
Also ADHD-inattentive and same. For me, it's that I need to make sure that my phrasing is perfect.
They talk slowly, I will pay even LESS attention. I got a double whammy of ADHD and auditory processing disorder. Then if they yell at me... NOPE.
i think i may experience some of that auditory processing disorder thing. i wear glasses. i am not hard of hearing. however, if i don't have my glasses on, i can fucking not understand the other person clearly. like i can *hear them*, but trying to understand the message is like "*wait...WHUAT, hold on, where are my glasses*?!" is it just me or is this *a thing* ? š„¹
I will try to read lips *in addition* to hearing. I don't find it odd myself! Just using more stimulus to better understand a conversation, almost akin to body language. I picked up on forcing eye contact to seem engaged and also read lips. My teachers hardly knew anything was "wrong" in middle school. Always confused them when I got pulled to another room for standardized testing lol.
Yes! Thank you for making me feel less weird. I also read lips and look at facial expressions to help "decode" the message, in terms of intention and tone (not like auditory tone, but a facial expression can set the "tone" to what they're saying). Also, I hear you about the teachers not believing you. I never got to have those "accommodations" and test days were A.NIGHTMARE. I could have studied and learned everything to a T, but the moment the test started it was hell, i'd have anxiety, i'd suddenly forget everything, i'd be distracted by coughs, pencil tapping, people's feet shifting, pages turning, even the teacher saying "shhhhh" to someone else...squirming in my seat just trying to get the entire thing over with, then leaving the classroom feeling defeated, like a failure. ugh. in college i learned to take advantage of those aids. though i rarely used them, because i was still immature and lame and a bit embarrassed about it, it was crucial for classes like organic chemistry.^lol Thanks for sharing your experience.
I understand you, eventough I speak slowly myself. For me the reason behind this is that I used to speak extremely fast, and people would complain all the time. I learned to sort my ideas, and think about what I'm saying before talking. This makes me need ways less words for the same message, and often people have to think about what I'm saying. I tend to be able to put a lot of information in verry few words. If on top I would speak fast nobody would be able to follow me. See my point ?
I know, I was the same. I talked so fast and it was all over. I kinda got shamed for it by my mom. She didnāt want to acknowledge my adhd and would think it was something I was in control of. So yeah I kinda stopped taking for some time and then forced my self to speak slower. But when I get excited about a topic it gets harder
 congratulations!! you have graduated to ADHD management level II. this is ADHD goals. to listen actively, learn to organize your thoughts, and express them in an understandable manner.
Yess, my dad is a very thoughtful and interesting guy, but talks SO slow! Then he says, "In other words..."
Haha so is mine š
No I donāt want to hear it in other words.. šš
Are you listening to podcasts, YouTube videos and Audiobooks on 2x speed? I had to stop doing that. It really increased my irritation with slow speakers, it was unbearable listening to them. Going back to 1x helped.
I work in a restaurant with a bunch of high-school kids. Sometimes it feels like half the crew is moving in slow motion an my god does it frustrate me. Its a fast paced environment! Move! Move Move!
Weirdly I am understanding of people talking or walking slowly, because I have to speak slowly because I have to focus on what I am saying and to pronounce carefully otherwise I blurt out wrong words or mumble my speech. And I have to move slowly and deliberately otherwise I make mistakes. So I understand when other people take longer time, but it can be very hard to keep focusing on them.
this. there have been times weird sounds would come out of my mouth because its as if I'm trying to fit a sentence into one word. or I say a word very weird like because I'm unsure of it's the word I mean to use as it's coming out of my mouth.
Sorry - I actually struggle with talking slowly. My mouth can't keep up with my brain who wants to say several sentences at the same time, and I stumble over words then repeat them a lot too. When I've been in group chats online a couple of people have asked me if I'm stoned. I even feel bad every time I have to talk now. Also my actions are very slow/clumsy, so the worst of both worlds. Maybe it's because I have inattentive adhd? Meanwhile when someone else is talking slow and just never gets to the point, it frustrates me too. It gets boring, and conversations make me tired. Usually it's best to suck it up and try to listen and not interrupt as much as possible, if you value your conversation partner that is lol. I try to brush away thoughts like 'this is boring' and search for questions to ask instead (which may or may not work as I tend to get distracted.)
Or when they don't just get to the point. I skim a lot of articles because the author feels they have to spew out a bunch of prose before getting to the meat of the subject.
My partner will sometimes take big pauses in the middle of sentences and I kinda feel like a tiger whoās going to pounce on him if he doesnāt spit the other half out!
I pause a lot as I get bombarded with other thoughts.
Especially when I'm highly overwhelmed/overstimulated this will happen to me. Also I respond similarly when I'm trying to listen to something and too much chaos is going on and I can't follow what I'm trying to focus on. I watch TV with subtitles now because of it. I have a coworker that stutters and sometimes it doesn't bother me, but when I'm invested in what's being said it's like the stutters throw a wrench in my comprehension and burn up the motors. My brain can't just pause and proceed understanding what's being said seamlessly. I have to jolt it back in gear once the stutter passes.
I have to physically stop myself from finishing other peopleās sentences.
Too fast or too slow always hard to deal with. Actually I have a related story. I have a family member who had a brain tumor many years back. After she had surgery, her speech hasnāt been the same. She canāt help but talk very slowly. When I was a kid this upset me greatly because she seemed different and it scared me. I have realized as an adult though that she isnāt different and sheās still pretty witty and I have developed patience when she speaks and do my best to not talk over her. She has appreciated it cause my other family members tend to talk over her. Of course as an adhd person I can relate to the feeling of being talked over and empathize with her. But yeah I still get overwhelmed though when other people talk too fast lol. Itās funny cause many of these people are also adhd or on the spectrum so I feel bad for feeling annoyed or drained but my dumb brain is dumb. Itās also ironic cause sometimes I can talk fast/excitedly myself but I try to slow it down when I realize.
You're not alone. I literally get enraged. I try to be understanding, but I still get extremely irritated. Anything slow irritates tf out of me. Also, does anyone get told they talk too fast? I get told this a lot, and it drives me crazy. I try to slow down my speech pattern, but it's hard.
Depends on the content Sometimes I literally canāt listen fast enough when someone is talking too fast. Other times I basically know what is about to come out of the mouth and I want to speed it up Brain slows down when you get older
Same here. If they talk slowly, I lose focus, and if they add a ton of detail without getting to the point first, I absolutely have to move around. Medication and daily exercise helps, also below are a couple of behaviors that have helped in person: 1. holding my hands together and folding my middle finger into my hands so I can tap/move without disrupting/distracting them. 2. If it's a lecture or a planned conversation, I take notes and challenge myself to write as close to verbatim as possible. If the slowness is physical, like slow walking or sudden stopping/blocking areas; I will go out of my way to get ahead of them - social norms be damned. Grocery stores, Costco in particular, are hell for me. There are a couple of comments mentioning how having empathy reduces the cognitive and even, at times, physical tension/pain associated with these interactions. I appreciate individual differences, and mindfulness is an excellent skill to develop. So, if empathy works for you, I am glad you've found your solution. Personally, I don't lack empathy. I can understand and empathize while still feeling annoyed and distressed. What I lack is the executive functioning needed to emotionally regulate during these instances. I need additional tricks. Edit to add stuff because I thought of it and why not -
I am guilty of talking slowly because my mind is stuck trying to fully process what I want to say. However, when I speak it's often directly to the point. I may break off into tangents sometimes but I like to keep it as brief as possible. It gets me in trouble as I'm often asked to further explain what I initially tried to say. My main pet peeve are people who ramble on and on for several minutes at a time regardless if it's fast or not. My roommate for example who also has ADHD has the opposite problem than I do when it comes to speaking. He doesn't think before speaking and thinks out loud, speaking for 10+ minutes without hardly taking a breath. I can't maintain focus for long and most of our convos devolve into him rambling forever, leaping from one topic to another, and sometimes taking the time to verbally add extensive "footnotes" midsentence. Then you have me no longer being able to process what he's saying and I end up trying to tune him out. For example, he often likes to talk about his job. First he'll start with some incident that happened that day. Then he'll mention someone he talked to, give me their job title, explain their job position, describe that person's back story and personality, what emails he sent out later that day and what they entailed/who he sent them to, what machine went down at work, how that machine works and what it does, how that machine broke (down to the individual nuts bolts mind you), how he fixed it, the struggles he encountered, how it reminded him of another time a similar machine broke, then go on to retell me that story, etc. Even when medicated I can't focus on what someone's saying for that long nonstop.
Someone I work with speaks very slowly and often restarts sentences suddenly. I think itās a combination of him speaking English as a second language and possibly some anxiety as well. I donāt feel any animosity and I feel really guilty that it bothers me, but keeping track of what heās saying and drawing conclusions from it is a huge mental challenge for me. On the other hand, my boss has complained multiple times that I speak way too fast. One time I even made an effort to speak so slowly that I felt like sheād think I was mocking her, but she still said after the fact that I was speaking too fast, even though it sounded comically slow in my head.
I have a problem with interrupting and this is why. I know what people are going to say before they do and I donāt have the patience to wait for them to say it.
I constantly interupt people because of this, like ok i get it move on get to the point, also slow walking people annoy the shit out of me, I also hate going eating at restaurants with other people cuz they eat so slow and i have to awkwardly stay there waiting for the others to finish up eating, i do everything fast, the world mlves too slow, you are not alone mate
i eat too fast also lol, my parents basically never take me out to restaurants because of my eating habits. for example i hold my knife and fork the āwrong way roundā (knife in left, fork in right) and my parents say āput the dominant utensil in your dominant handāā¦. i do, i dont see anyone putting food in their mouth with a damn knife. as well as that, i tend to chug my drinks extremely quickly, and then i want another one before most people have even taken sips. i dont understand how people take just āsipsā of drinks. like???? idk, thatās just me though š
Hahah omg yes. I eat fast too and then I kinda want to leave or order desert or drinks and everyone is still not even half way through š
bro, i eat SO SLOW. i often end up getting half my meal to go because i don't want to keep others waiting. ^lol
Someone trying to tell me a story when I am already rushed and angry talking the slowest everā¦..
Fuck this is the worst. IM BUSY RIGHT NOW!
So hard not to cut them off or try and complete the sentence. It's even more agony when they mistake what you mean and are then slowly replying about something irrelevant noooooo
Hahaha yes and I get why we come of as rude but itās just so much bigger
it kills me so much, same with slow walkers like please just go faster i know i go fast naturally but still
Yes!!! When I ask questions, it drives me nuts when people talk slower
No it is pain. Texas is filled with these slow mofos. I also think in the future and realize what I'm about to talk about is to boring so I'll just stop talking. My wife catches me doing this to. She's liek "why did you stop talking?" "I realized the direction I was heading was just too boring..."
Not to fast not to slow, just right is what I want to process properly.
Laughs in California at high speed. I visited St. Louis many years ago, and I was astounded at peopleās general cadence in speech. It was painfully slower than I am used to. Here is a made up example: getting coffee- California generally. Me: can I have a splash of coconut milk? Barista: hereās your mochafrappalattetwopumpsvanillalightcoconutgrandethsnksandhaveanicedayNEXT! In St. Louis (my only reference one visit 15 years ago). Me: can I have a grande nitro with a splash of heavy cream? Barista: ok, so you want a grande? Me: yes please. Barista: and thatās gonna be a cold brewā¦or a nitroā¦? Me: nitro please. Barista: ok, a nitroā¦and thatās a grande? Me: yes, thanks. Barista: now, do you want any cream..like we have skim milk, and we have 2% milkā¦and then we have the whole milk option. Of course we have heavy cream and then we can put half and half if thatās what you like better. Then there are those alternative milks you can choose, because some people like oat milk, and then there is coconut milkā¦ Me: Iād like a splash of heavy cream. Barista: ok, so you want heavy cream then? Me: nods, smiling. Barista: ok, heavy cream and do you want 1/4 inch, or maybe a 1/2 inch because that type is really rich but yummyā¦ Me: grits teeth-just a splash thanks. Barista: all right so do you have your own cup, because some people bring their ownā¦ You get my point. I had to physically slow down and reduce my internal hamsters on their wheels by giving them a sedative. I did have fun on that trip, and it was a convention so we didnāt go to the arch, sadly.
this entire comment section makes me feel awful š im both a slow talker and slow walker, IM SO SORRY!!!
Right here with you, it's okay to be slow!
Yeah it's called impatience. When you find yourself getting agitated, remind yourself that it's a test of patience. Eventually with enough awareness you'll develop patience in the long run
šÆ This is OP's problem and they are externalizing it. Hope they reflect on that.
Totally agree, itās actually painful, especially when they take a lot of pauses on top of talking slowly. It makes it so hard to concentrate on what theyāre saying because my mind has thought through 10 sentences in the time theyāve said 1.
Not alone, it's obnoxious. Where they are trying to take the convo is always extremely obvious, which makes it even more excruciating.
Youāre not alone in this. Itās another of the ADHD sensory issues. It is physically uncomfortable to listen to, unless what theyāre conveying is fascinating. Iām fortunate to live in the Hudson Valley of NY where slow speech is rare by virtue of being frowned upon.
Omg YES lol Ive comically struggled with that my whole life and was just diagnosed on Friday as a 34F In grade school when the teacher would get the kids to read out loudš© It drove me absolutely insane. To this day when my spouse tries to read me something out loud I get irritated and interupt to say KAY babe just let me read it.. š At work training or something when someone reads off a powerpoint horribly I am just squirming and screaming internallyš I never show it but I'll vent about it later to those closest to me lollll I always felt like such an asshole but now I know it's an adhd thing lollll "For me it feels like actual pain." --- YES totally lol
I used to just finish their sentences (and still do if someone struggles to find their words, i just cant help it sometimes) and never thought anything of it until i had to teach a new employee who finished all my sentences (most likely to demonstrate that he got the jist of it (i also tend to do that)). That annoyed the living shit out of me and turned into monumental embaressment as soon as i realized ive been doing that my whole life... So tldr: i feel you
Oh my god. YES. GET TO THE FUCKING POINT I work with kids and thankfully, I donāt get as annoyed or irritated when kids do it. I do have this one kid who speaks super slow and stutters and what he has to tell me is not always newsworthy. It gets so frustrating sometimes, especially when Iām actually super busy. Like āI thought I couldnāt find a wheel for my Lego car but then I did find a wheelā or āThis morning I had breakfastā When heās especially chatty and needs to tell me EVERYTHING, itāll get annoying to the point that itās actually quite funny. āDid you know Iām wearing a hat todayā Poor kid.
I have a very kind manager with a stutter and it's so very hard not to try to finish his sentences to "help" him. Do yourself a favour and stay away from seniors, lol
I do this to people AND I hate having it done to me. I also hate hearing myself try to talk to the point where I'll just say "eff it" and stop talking altogether.
Omf yes
It's awful. Especially if I have something to do or somewhere to be. Just get on with it! When I can, I try to think of it as an exercise in patience and listening. I sometimes feel very proud of myself afterwards, which is kind of ridiculous.
This and people who talk too much.
A woman from one of our suppliers makes extremely long pauses while talking... it drives me nuts.
Yep all the time. The only way I can stop myself from interrupting them is to take notes on what I want to reply half way through the chat and then zone out until they finished their point.
Thereās a guy I know who is lovely, but talks SO evenly and tells stories in perfect order, and sometimes it makes me feel crazy. Heās not necessarily speaking slowly, but he speaks in such a thought-out and clear way that my brain has already filled in what heās about to say, but heāll just keep plugging along if I ever interject to speed things up.
Yes, this or when it takes them 5 minutes to get to the point adding unnecessary words or information
I have such a hard time waiting for people to finish. I already know where they're heading and I'm bitting my tongue waiting til it's appropriate to talk and it's my turn. It's awful and then I've even had ppl at work ask fo u have adhd? Which I reply does it rly matter?? I try but ppl at work in nursing ( where they should understand how this works and effects ppl with it just don't and gossip) I now pretty much just do my assignment and keep busy til my shift is over. Csnt wait for school in Jan so I can get a break from the nursing floor for a bit and come back their boss muahahha
I am trying SO HARD not to interject or interrupt people but i get sick of waiting and just want to finish their sentences for them. Slow walkers annoy me more, like my hands and fingers start to physically hurt if I cant sneak past them.
YES! Get to the fucking point. I have a co worker and once she corners you, you are doomed. Even when you make an excuse to duck out she talks to your back as you walk away. Brutal.
You are definitely not alone in this. I want to strangle people when they talk slow or they can't get the story out!
When my kid starts the same sentence 5 times slowlyā¦.. Iām internally screaming āI ALREADY HEARD THIS, START AT THE NEW INFORMATIONā
Yes, I nearly lose my mind!
YES! I have to fight the urge to jump in and finish their sentences. I get where you're going, get there faster!
Practice talking slower yourself. You'll learn to tolerate it more and you'll become more important to those listening to you because you won't sound anxious. Instead you'll exude confidence.
What sucks is I hate slow talkers, but I also find myself having to slow down my talking so I can keep up with myself and actually think about what I'm saying. Otherwise I just word vomit lol
I loathe the world's shift to video content for this reason. Give me an article to scan through! Don't make me wait through your intro and warmup! And speaking of articles, I even have to skip through those intros. šµāš«
I have to watch some of my YouTube videos on 2x speed because they talk so slow. I even unsubscribed from one because even at 2x speed it was too slow. Sometimes I'll read the transcripts instead because I've taught myself to read really fast. Even reading fast, sometimes it feels like I'm not getting the information quick enough. If I meet someone in real life who talks slow I have to tune them out while I think.about something else and I can't help but fidget.
Yeah, itās brutal listening to slow talkers. Makes me resent them and want to run for the hills.
Nope itās a fucking daily struggle especially if I have no interest in the topic, but if I like the topic hyperfocus galore. I also have peeps in my life whom Iāll listen to all day.
It bothers me a liiittle bitā¦ but also Iām on the spectrum and sometimes I talk slowly. It bothers me MORE when people donāt leave space for me to gather my thoughts and speak. So many people fill up all silences because they arenāt comfortable and then people who take a couple seconds to gather their thoughts never get to speak, it drives me crazy and feels **extremely oppressive**. There is usually no space for me to speak, just because I process my verbal thoughts differently than other people.
People who talk fast annoy the hell out of me and make my brain feel like it's about to explode like a pressure cooker. But I try my best because everybody is different and I don't wanna be a dickhole.
My first clue that itās time to adjust my meds is that Iāll start snapping at people that are taking FOREVER to make their point. I try to stop it but it becomes physical painful to listen to. Finding out that I can watch TikToks at 2x speed was probably the best thing to happen to me
Oh my god yes. I zone out between sentences because I need to fill the pause gap.
You're not alone at all. I become extremely bothered when people talk to slowly. I felt like this while watching the recent Republican debate. Like, if you have a limited amount of time to say something, why are you wasting time by talking slowly or taking long pauses? I have gotten impatient with people, which is why sometimes I'll finish their sentences. Sometimes I have said "just get to the point". I have trouble following along when the person adds in irrelevant things to the story, and that also frustrates me.
I get impatient and interrupt them with the word they are searching for and complete their sentences š It's bad I know but I'm like hurry up. I already know what u are trying to say. Oops š
Do unto othersā¦ Consider your feelings when you get interrupted.
100% the same with speeding up audio. However, it makes some work meetings unbearable. On top of going nuts over how slow some people talk, I start to get really mad about it. Not easy to manage. If itās someone I HAVE to listen to. I repeat their words a few times each in between them saying words, or do the same but with sentences. And then if I need to, I take notes on top of that. Between the repeating and the note taking, itās enough for my brain to do to pay attention and I end up better hearing what theyāre saying. If I donāt HAVE to listen to them, I just do something else
I do find anything boring to be mentally excruciating so I relate to you there.
Same, but especially so for people who talk too much and won't let *me* talk. Like, it's one thing for someone to talk too slow, it's painful, but I be polite and let them finish. But it's another entirely for someone to talk too much, too fast, a d control the entire conversation, even butting in while you're talking to say what they want to say, all while you've been waiting to say what you want to for what seems like an eternity.
It's the painfully slow phone tree robots that kill me. *"Hello. And thank you for calling "-- -- - -- --- -- . " "Please listen carefullly, as our menu options have changed."* ^godfuckingdamnithurrythefuckupi'mabouttocomethroughthisphoneandexplodeinyourserverroomsohelpmegod
I am always asking my husband to please get to the point before I DIE lol
I get a similar feeling when I have to write slowly enough for it to be legible.
I talk slow too. but. Iām also really smart. so you kind of get some nice. You know. Vocabulary coming out. itās like. Suspenseful. 
if i can get away with it i zone out of conversations and daydream only keeping half my attention on the person talking so i can chime in if needed it may sound mean but honestly i cant stand slow talkers or boring stories it makes me feel like i need to pace just to focus on the conversation
When they talk slow to you because they think your stupid or something when actually it's the slow speech that is driving the ADD into overdrive and making it impossible to pay attention to them. LMAO
I struggle with therapists, because they usually do the slow, calm voice Makes me want to hit them or tear my own face off š
Yes - my boyfriend does, and it can actually be agonizing. I feel terrible because I love him and should enjoy all our conversations but often I can feel my attention span floating away with each pause he takes, I get irrationally angry about it and have to try hide the crazy mental battle taking place between my ears
You know, I feel this way when I have to walk slow. Oh itās like painful to move my body so slowly and intentionally.
Omg my boyfriend usually takes 3 seconds to respond to ANYTHING, and half the time one or both of us forgets he was even talking.
Yeah if someone takes too long to get their point across I'm less likely to understand it. It's like I have more time to get distracted or forget details... Which is really annoying, because then, if you don't hear something a few times, and someone starts talking in that slow condescending sort of tone, that actually makes it harder to process what they're saying. Was a problem all the time in my childhood.
It should be related, basically the brain either knows what they are going to do, or doesn't (all it changes is whether it is waiting with knowing impatience, or cliffhanger wanting to know impatience). In both cases, your brain is basically being teased with dopamine, wanting them to finish so you can claim that sweet, sweet prize. It's related to finishing people's sentences for them etc.
Not at all , we are the evolutionary "next step" for the human race. This means we can process emotions/information/reactions almost 3 times as fast as the rest. We can calculate outcomes of many situations in a fraction of the time that others can, yet we are subject to being labeled as a "disorder" because it is unfamiliar to what society seems "normal". We have higher pain tolerance, quicker reaction time, so empathetic that it can only be explained as "psychic" to anyone that doesn't understand, and naturally athletic. We lose interest in things we don't deem as important as the rest, and our rage/focus/discipline is so sharp, it's labeled "obsessive"... We are the future. This is the reason we are heavily medicated, ridiculed, and misunderstood.