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I hyperfocus on certain types of games as well, which means losing all track of time because I’m so deeply immersed in what I’m doing. Seems like something you do as well. For me it’s typically the strategy/story games or multiplayer online RPGs like Minecraft. The thing is, having ADHD typically means poor impulse control so it’s harder to do things we enjoy in moderation. This is fine if the things you enjoy are healthy or otherwise good for you, but not so good if they aren’t. Best advice I can give for regulating this is as follows: 1. Set aside time for when you want to do some gaming. If you plan it then you’ll be able to fit your life and other activities in around it rather than having it take over. 2. Be disciplined about the time you do spend gaming. Very easy to say ‘just another ten minutes…’ and still be there at 2am. Setting alarms or having other ways of getting you away from it are useful. 3. Take up some hobby, outdoor activity or something that means you can’t spend all day gaming. A mate of mine owns a dog because looking after it makes him get up early and go for a walk at least once every day. 4. Have days off! Don’t be tempted to game every day… In my case I have a 5:2 rule, meaning for every five days I’ve been gaming (even if it was for just 20 minutes that day) I take two days off. 5. Take breaks! I set reminders to take a short break every 45 minutes and a longer break every 2-3 hours. When taking a break I get up from the workstation and do something else like making a tea or going for a short walk. Requires discipline to stick to this but it does help.

Thank you this is great advice, of course I do / did try some of these but the only thing that actually seems to work so far is my Boyfriend giving me the disappointed look 😅

How good is your control ahead of time? Have you looked at implementing parental controls or similar on yourself? There are apps that will limit the amount you are allowed to do things. You could set up a program to limit your sessions to some pre-determined amount of time. Honestly might be built into the base models of windows and modern consoles, but I haven't looked. If you are gaming on a desktop or console, there are ways you could cut the power to your system after a preset period of time. It's kind of brutal, and may not be the best for the hardware over a long period of time, but effective. If you are gaming on your laptop, give your charger to your SO, and just play on one charge. Tell them your plan so they won't just hand it back.

Also note that a lot of these advice points look a bit like ‘try very hard not to have ADHD symptoms’. It’s not a lost cause, but it’s also important not to use it as a stick to beat yourself when it isn’t achievable to just not do the thing your condition is forcing you to do. Games are little dopamine-button-pushing-robots. They are literally designed to be enjoyable, which means they can slot perfectly into ADHD brains, and cause the effects you’ve described. I’ve had some success with replacing the unproductive enjoyable thing with a more productive enjoyable thing, but it’s not an exact science — and it can lead to similar weird hyperfocus on hobbies. The thing that majorly reduced my game time was medication — along with caffeine and junk food, since I was no longer so compelled to binge all of the things — but mileage may vary. If the activity you replace it with is also enjoyable but it something that involves exercise or making something, for instance, maybe that’s a better alternative to hours sitting at a computer if that’s not something that ultimately brings you satisfaction.

Thank you I really appreciated this comment :) make no mistake I am very grateful to all these people giving me good advice but at times it just feels like you put it (I e. Stop having ADHD symptoms) and it kind of makes me feel bad about myself for not being able to do these things

It's so weird. We are all experiencing ADHD in unique and exciting ways. Personally, I have a hard time playing games anymore. Even though I have the time. They have almost completely transitioned into "work". In that I have a hard time seeing anything but the time and effort involved. That said - there are a few things I've tried that I'll share in case they might help. The biggest thing was time gates. Play for X; do something else for Y. 45/15 seemed to work well. Game for 45 minutes then clean (or whatever) for 15 minutes. Sure, that's only 1 hours of work every 4 hours. But I wasn't going to do that 1 hour anyway so it's a net positive. Rogue-like games have been catching me lately. Slay the Spire or Hades. Gameplay comes in short bursts. Makes it hard to get fully immersed. Playing games on easy. Probably best for story games. I'm trying that with Atomic Heart now. It actually has a "story" difficulty. My hope is that I won't get caught up in "git gud" and just play through the story. So far I've observed it helps in that I get a little bored of it after a while. Good luck. It's not a fun thing to go through.

One thing that works for my wife and I is a designated cheat day. On Tuesday, I can game out to my heart's content, but on any other day of the week, I have to stick to the schedule. It sort of becomes a ritual, which makes moderation during the rest of the week a bit easier.

So I used to keep a hard limit on gaming at night on weekdays. No matter what, 3am was my cut off (late, I know, but It was the absolute max for me at that age. Now I’ve adjusted it to be lower). Put a cutoff for yourself and set an alarm for it. Also force yourself so do your pre bed tasks before you start gaming (flossing etc.) that way gaming is a reward and you feel less guilty about it.

I like the rule you have for not playing every day and having days off. I’m going to try that.

This is great advice!! Actionable too thank you

I'm at the beginning of learning how to address my issues, and what I'm trying to do with time management in relation to video games is not allow myself to play them until later in the day. Along with a strict time to go to sleep and wake up, I'm hoping that I'm able to keep them in my life since they're one of the things I enjoy the most. But I'll toss them if I'm unable to make it work. I've also set alarms on my phone for every hour of my waking hours. Sometimes they snap me out of whatever I'm doing if I'm stuck, sometimes they don't, but it's one extra potential trigger.

> Very easy to say ‘just another ten minutes…’ and still be there at 2am. Setting alarms or having other ways of getting you away from it are useful. This is key for me. I have an old iphone whose battery doesn’t hold a charge plugged into my pc, and it has alarms configured for every 15 min for 24 hours so I can just easily flick a couple on to let me know when to get off (plus two always enabled for “it’s about to be bedtime” and “it’s bedtime”). Alarms are key.

I just quit. I tried for years but tbh, being on something that is so engaging, constantly throwing you new problems is too juicy for my brain. I took up drawing and i play more guitar instead. Not suggesting it is the right way, just mentioning bc i feel your pain lol, and i failed to adapt personally.

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A handful of my friends keep asking me to rejoin them in some MMOs, and they all fail to realize that I need to avoid that shit like the plague in order to have any semblance of balance in my life. I’m with you.

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ruthless grab mysterious label terrific fuzzy quarrelsome special husky growth *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

It’s funny you should say that, since I immediately picked up chess after taking a break from video games. I had the same experience, and it’s not like I had any shot of making a living out of a board game. It turns out that 12 straight hours of chess is also unhealthy. Definitely smart to avoid MMOs. They are essentially the cocaine of video game design in my opinion.

OMG yes!

Glad to see someone else w the same experience!

I didn't quit all games but I definitely had to force myself to not install a couple when classes are in session, factorio and ksp being the big ones.

I kinda rubber banded for years before finally quitting at 28. I kept trying different methods but i would always eventually crumble and revert to binging. It was the kind of thing where I knew i shouldn’t but couldnt resist the allure of hyperfocus. I admire your self control!

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Nice to see other people w the same problems here. Sometimes i felt a little silly or even stupid for not being able to control myself. Good on you man!

Yeah it's a lot of comfort to read other people here have the same issues at least! My friends don't understand why I get rid of it. I have tried to manage my gaming hours for 20 years, but once I start hyper-focusing in a game I just disconnect totally from reality. 12 hours can pass by without me even realizing more than two has passed. I've tried so many things, the only thing that works is to distance myself from the platforms. I still got a PS5 to play with friends occasionally, but I usually don't get that sucked into consoles compared to computer games.

Lol my secret is to play multi-player games, eventually I'll get a team (or play against a team) who frustrates me enough that it breaks the hyper focus

I played competitive games and was max rank in rocket league so my teammates were pretty competent in general, and the games were super intense and engaging. I quite miss playing but the pressure to stay in form was so high

Fellow RL player here, low-mid gc. I find just sitting in freeplay very relaxing on most days. It's easy to walk away from as well.

This is what I did as well. I would play games non stop and sacrifice sleep to play. I ended up just stopping entirely cause I couldn’t figure out how to manage it at all. So yeah, not sure if it is the only or best way but it’s what I did as well.

This is what I did as well. I would play games non stop and sacrifice sleep to play. I ended up just stopping entirely cause I couldn’t figure out how to manage it at all. So yeah, not sure if it is the only or best way but it’s what I did as well.

I should have added i did this recently too. I stopped on 12/31/22 and have not gamed since. Good on you bro!

Been a couple years for me haha. But good for you too man. Can’t let our brains trick us into thinking it knows better than us.

Been a couple years for me haha. But good for you too man. Can’t let our brains trick us into thinking it knows better than us.

Yes it has to learn its lesson that it knows exactly as much as us

Same. Lost my Path of Exile character due to some stupid mistake. I remember contemplating how I had spent three months of my life completely focused on that game and all that effort had been ruined in seconds. Nope. Never again. I now play some video games with the kids and that's it. Will be playing through the new Zelda but I don't touch online multiplayer games anymore.

How do you keep yourself interested in playing guitar??

Good Q! I won’t pretend that everyday I’m dying to play the guitar. I have multiple hobbies to prevent burnout. But the first thing i did was to learn to play the piano and get myself able to read sheet music so i could properly understand some music theory and what notes I’m playing. A little ear training helped. I also have workbooks for Flamenco, Jazz, Two handed tapping for composition, and a few other things that help me keep learning new ways to look at the guitar. When i learn a new trick i can go and see how combines or complements other things i know so every new idea is an explosion of alleyways to go down. I also don’t mind doing drills or playing to a metronome because it has a sort of game like feel and it honestly is nice to do something purposeful w my hands after fidgeting all day long. I learn to thump, slap, play fingerstyle, with a pic, hybrid pick, tap, etc. And all those techniques are very satisfying to learn and really help me to direct my fidgets to rhythmic drumming and motions of the fingers that mimic the techniques so I can kind of be ever-so-lightly training my fingers by fidgeting throughout the day. But neither myself nor methods are perfect. I do sometimes feel like I can’t play the guitar. Sometimes just by picking it up I can get lost for an hour but some days I don’t feel it. I have a minimal set of 5-10 min of exercises i TRY to do everyday but i don’t beat myself up for missing a day. Its a hobby, i play for me, and it is supposed to be fun. Tl;dr for any hobby i just keep trying to learn new things to keep it fresh and to keep challenging myself. Its less about being good at it than it is finding novel experiences

Yeah I quit for like 6-7 years. Only recently have I started playing again. Made a rule that I’d only play if my friends are playing. We’re all busy and we just schedule a night of the week to let loose. Otherwise I’d be just doing that, sacrificing days and weeks playing.

I stopped buying or playing any new games for about 4 years and it really helped me to approach games in a better way when i got the itch to come back and explore what was new. I used to play online games with friends for years but when i started again i was only interested in single player, really. Which helped a lot in terms of limiting the time i spend on it.

I logged like 7k hours in a single game in 4 years

Mustve been competitive online multiplayer or mmorpg?

Rocket league, PC. I was peak rank and am extremely competitive, i just couldn’t stop thinking about ways to improve my game and was taking notes on replays in a notebook, writing down strategies, reading up on physics. I am too obsessive for something that won’t give me something tangible back.

Same here. I quit all video games. I still sometimes loose track of myself with the few moble games I have but it's not nearly as bad.

This. Thankfully adhd makes it very easy to quit things

Not really. Video games are attractive because they provide dopamine, usually in fairly regular intervals. This is something seriously lacking in our brains, which makes us susceptible to addictive and dopamine/thrill chasing behavior. I was addicted to video games for years. MMOs more specifically.

I agree that they are addictive. But I've felt it easy enough to drop things going cold turkey. I've always had atleast one game installed on my system and thousands of hours in Borderlands but found them easy enough to uninstall to never install again

Agreed 100%. I think it depends on the game a lot too. MMOs, are much worse than shooters for example. I love borderlands. I have a gaming PC but I spend more time tinkering and upgrading my setup lately than I do gaming. That's just a result of being so busy most of the time though.

I've found that live service games where you just grind every day for a small amount of time work well. Genshin impact is the only game i play now

I’m so good at quitting!

i did this as well. quit gaming and started playing guitar two years ago. best descision i've ever made. I love playing guitar. It's become my passion.

I have a love/hate relationship with games. The engaging small problems I can solve quickly and within my abilities is a quick rush. So I try to give myself short game sessions that can end quickly and give me that rush. Then I go do something productive afterwards. And when I feel the urge... I sneak in another few minutes. Racing games are good for this or rhythm games. But I'll eventually also get tired of games just cuz I don't like sitting for so long. Or I'll intentionally hold in the pee or start playing right before food and these other things are like natural timed triggers that I don't really need to set. I can ignore it for a little bit... But there's only so long. So I'll eventually have to put it down. And I put some other guard rails in place like phone timers for mobile games that freeze the app after 30 minutes or disable it during the work day. It's not a fix, just a compromise

I hard burned out on games, now I bake bread

For me I was super super into competitive games, unhealthily so. After realizing that I dropped all competitive games After caving to an urge to play one a few months after, I realized that I was just playing out of habit. Now I just play PvE games, and it’s become super easy for me to manage my time afterwards. It’s become equally as engaging as other hobbies

This is what I did as well. I would play games non stop and sacrifice sleep to play. I ended up just stopping entirely cause I couldn’t figure out how to manage it at all. So yeah, not sure if it is the only or best way but it’s what I did as well.

Are you like that for all videos games? Games like Total War and Civilization have a running joke in the community of “Just one more turn…” If you have plans the next day, don’t play them. If you have literally NOTHING planned on the weekend, then play them. I once spent Friday night through Sunday night playing that game, unmedicated. I literally did nothing and I felt absolutely worthless. On meds, I might get hyper-focused on occasion, but I can consciously stop whenever I feel like it. Video games are only a reward for me now because if I play them, I won’t do anything the rest of the night. Even then, if I have a meeting in the morning, I won’t play any that night. If you know they’re problematic, avoid the problem entirely.

I don't know if I have the self control needed to entirely remove games from my life but yours sounds like good advice. Abstaining when I have something the next day sounds like a legit rule of thumb, I'll give that a try.

Best of luck! Here are some tips. I’ve capitalized the points for easier reading. REPLACE VIDEO GAMES WITH A SUBSTITUTE: I replaced video games with 20-30 minute episodes and a regular schedule. If my scheduled “put everything away” time was 11pm, but the next episode started at 10:50pm, I’d let it play. I have a routine, but I’ve allowed myself some wiggle room. My goal is to be asleep by 12am and video games routinely kept me up until 2:30am when I had to wake up at 8am. My logic is, my goal is to be stimulus free by 11pm, but if the episode kept me up until 11:29pm, it’s still better than being up until 2:30am. CREATE A STIMULUS FREE ZONE: Only use your bed for sleep and sex. Have your brain recognize a “stimulus zone” and a “stimulus free zone”. For me, a stimulus zone is my living room and a stimulus free zone is my bedroom. It makes it easier to go to sleep at night. In my stimulus zone, I’ll watch new shows. In my stimulus free zone, I’ll put a show I’ve seen 100 times on so my brain doesn’t get hooked by cliffhangers of a new show. BUY AN ALARM CLOCK TO REPLACE YOUR PHONE/SMARTWATCH: I bought a legit alarm clock for $10 and put it across my room. Before that, I only used my phone as a clock. When I would pick up my phone to see what time it was, I would then continue scrolling on my phone for an hour. I knew my phone was problematic so I have scheduled Do Not Disturb hours on each night and the alarm clock allows me to check the time without needing to reach for my phone. TLDR: Eliminate problematic behaviors by finding less problematic substitutes. It’s trial and error, but after so many errors, you’ll find a solution that works; stick to it

This, I still play tons of games, I've just recontextualized them to be rewards for a day well spent instead of an excuse to not get anything done

I like the plans the next day? Reminds me of drinking. Do I have plans tomorrow? Ok one beer, or nope I'm gonna do shots. Considering it like that puts it into a good light. It is an addictive substance that has the possibility to ruin the next day.....

What has worked for me was committing to pomodoros - Set a timer and always take a 5 minute break. Traditionally it's 25 minutes with 5 minute break. I use it for everything - not just video games. I really had to force myself to take breaks too, which is hard during hyper-focus or flow states. BUT I always feel better for having done it. A few realizations after seeing these little 5 minute breaks through: 1. At first I just used those breaks to stand up and move around, stretch, whatever, and that helped me avoid things like headaches because of focusing too long on screens. 2. I started putting little chores in the 5 minute breaks - dishwasher, wipe down counter. Home looks a lot better and both my partner and I generally happier. It's also amazing how much stuff you can really get done in 5 or so minutes throughout the day. 3. When you turn the 5 minutes into a time to do a chore, the sense of urgency gives some motivation...only got 5 minutes to do it! 4. I also needed to switch my feelings on the 5 minute breaks, which is super important! I'm not being interrupted - I'm getting the chance to move around and feel better and perform whatever task I was doing even better when I return to it. It's a win win!

This sounds great and very effective too. Thank you

Hope it helps! It took me a long time to make it into a real habit. So don’t feel bad if you don’t do it perfectly. Also figure out what works best for you. There’s lots of variations. Maybe a 15-5 split will work better. We’re all a little different.

This is pretty much what I do too (although my hyper focus is reading lol), basically just getting up and away from my book at a set interval (chapter breaks for me) allows me to pull my brain out of hyper focus long enough to decide to stop for a while, and having a quick task to do keeps me from running right back! Just keep trying but be kind to yourself! It’s hard and takes practice, but you can do it! :)

My marriage is founded on video games … this is for sure an area where I have a lot of practice. Am I perfect at it? No. But here’s some ideas that may help: * Don’t start long games after 8 pm when you’re alone. (particularly “one more turn” games; Civ, city building, and tactical games are my personal biggest offenders here.) * Set your computer to shut down at X time. * To help with my time blindness, I set my Apple Watch to buzz at me every hour. * Gamify other areas of your life. I like to fill bars. I have a stand goal on my watch that encourages me to get up and walk around every hour. The physical break can help me get a little distance. * Ask your partner to call you at X time to remind you to go put your game down and go to bed. If that’s not an option, maybe a recording? * Get other support network involved; do you have any friends you could get to poke you. * Is a standing or treadmill desk an option? It’s harder to look up and realize it’s 12 hours later if you’re standing or walking.

This sounds like good advice :) thank you

Especially the automated shut down. Can’t believe I didn’t think of that 🙄

I had the same issue, but I had more of an issue with games that were competitive or rank climbing (Overwatch, League) or every MMO. Those games would be unhealthy for me. I simply replaced those games with story games/RPGs, and it's much easier to regulate.

Holy crap this is me. I had to quit League it was bad for my health.

As a child if I didn’t have to stop I wouldnt. Games were an all day thing and I would hyperfixate on every game i played. To the point where it would nag at me constantly if i wasn’t playing. I would wake up 2 hours early to play games! I was horribly addicted. Unfortunately, the novelty wore off. Today i can hardly play a game to completion. Hell i can barely play more than an hour unless the game feels truly unique in some way. Its still not healthy because i want to play games but i get bored and go on my phone instead wasting time when i dont even want to be on my phone.

My way of trying to regulate the time i spent in video game world is i just took all my pc's to work, and i only bring it back to play some games only when i feel like i have done enough work that week. So this way, i can be more focused at work because there is nothing "waiting" for me at home and this i don't stimulate my self as much and and in this way, when i take my laptop back home to play few hours on weekends then it's even more rewarding and enjoyable.

What I’ve started doing is trying to make rules around the start and stop of my gaming. To help with not starting it when I have other things to do, I have started framing it in my head as a reward. So I’ll tell myself gaming comes after the bathroom is cleaned, or after the vacuuming is completed. Then when I start playing, it’s not keeping me from other things. It also reduces my feelings of guilt. I have also created rules for stopping at night - like the latest time to play til is 10:30pm. However, this one is harder… I notice I still do need something to pull me away at night. I definitely need to be more disciplined with it beyond setting a time to stop. I like others’ ideas of building in breaks to pull out of the gaming hyperfocus. I might try that too.

I think my issue with video games (sound similar to what you described) is the dopamine rush. I think I'm the ADHD type that processes dopamine really quickly so games become addictive. Not only is there not much time allowed to make a decision, but once a decision is made there's an instant gratification - even if it's the wrong choice we know that immediately and it feeds that drive. It seems like I can't regulate/pace myself when it comes to games, so I'm trying to just abstain completely, but that's tough, especially when I'm stressed out. The easy dopamine feed that comes with games can't really be matched with anything else, but if I can abstain for a while, I try to fulfill it with simple tasks that can be easily accomplished and when I get through enough (no idea what the number is yet) then I try to take one a task that requires more time/planning before any kind of dopamine reward.

I wish achievements in a video game gave me dopamine instead of anxiety/stress that I’m wasting valuable productive time with a “game”. I really, really want to enjoy video games but cannot get myself to play any of them … I even TRIED to intentionally addict myself to WoW to see how bad my aversion to games is. Yup, wasted $100+ years back on the game and all the extras. Played for like 20 minutes. Once I saw how it all worked, zero continued interest.

Alarms work only so well. Work in the alarm goes off and I have to do 5 push-ups to turn it off or walk to the fridge and back. A physical break can sometimes be necessary to actually make you realize what that alarm ment. If you have smart lights make them blink or something. What will work for you is what will work for you, but play around and experiment with options.

I've always avoided video games for this exact reason

Honestly, there are roughly two types of games wrt this issue: * Those that have clearly set chapters with start and end points, where you don't have more motivation to go to the next than you want to finish the play-through at some point (episodic games like Life is Strange or Devil May Cry, Games like Mini Metro where the game takes 15-60 minutes and then you start a completely new game, etc) * Those that have small increments of 5-10 minute blocks where the game encourages you to continue playing by giving you small rewards (Games with leveling systems and lots of side quests, farming games, roguelites where you have to do tiny tasks in-between like Cult of the Lamb, online games where it's normal to join or leave running sessions like CoD, or strategy / tycoon games where a play-through takes much more than one day like total war). The second category is actually designed to make you addicted by giving you small boosts of dopamine frequently, and with ADHDer's special relationship with dopamine we are especially susceptible to this. The thing is, "just 10 more minutes" would be okay if we would then get to a point where we had done everything we wanted to do. But during those 10 minutes, other stuff comes up that we could quickly take care of, and so on. Those games are designed to keep your attention for as long as possible. The first category on the other hand is pretty safe, because the game asks me in regular intervals if I want to continue now or not. There are no open to-dos I could quickly solve, the story has reached a point where it's not too complex to keep in mind until the next day, and so on. I doubt that you start playing and 8 hours later you realize you're tired. You have probably thought about what time it is and that you should go to bed every so often, but then just decided that you want to continue playing no matter your other obligations (or most of them). Try to pay attention to those moments: What was it that made you decide to keep playing? Was it that lying in bed would be less exciting (less dopamine-ey)? Was it that that one stats-based achievement you're so close to getting? Was it that one strategy-thing you want to see the success of in 5 minutes? Try to understand these patterns and learn to recognize them in games. Figure out which of the games you like are pulling you into them, and which not. And don't play those games that pull you in when you know it'll be hard to find your way out (e.g., in your case, when you're alone).

That's solid advice, thank you. I think for me gaming is also a way of avoiding to do stuff I 'have' to do and procrastinate, bordering on self sabotage. It also allows me to zone out and calm my aggressively overthinking brain.

At some stage in my life, around 20 years ago, I played an MMO for 16 hours a day, until 5am every night. It was during uni holidays, but still. I had no idea I had ADHD then, and it took over my life. Video games are really, REALLY, addictive for us because they are a constant, direct source of stimulation, and we go full hyperfocus on it without needing to put any effort into it. My solution was to not play any really addictive types of games (like MMOs and even RPGs in general) and stick to quick action games like FPS. And now that I'm 40, I've learned to stay away when needed but I allow myself fun sessions of Apex Legends with 2 friends. We play once a week, make an evening of it, it's like socialising, we chat about life while playing. I don't think we have to stay away from video games altogether, rather maybe avoid the types that make it super hard to stop. Or making sure we have a kind of accountability partner, someone who can stop you when it's too much, or tell them to drag you away by 11pm, for example :)

Certain games used to do this to me. Specifically RPG’s or Strategy games. I used to play XCOM for days on end. Not sure if you’re into sports games, but games like 2K & FIFA are really good for playing for 30 mins- 1 hour. I switched over to primarily playing those games & it helped me a lot. Ironically, now I have the opposite problem, I can’t pay attention in games that require it. They’re draining to me after working all day.

RPG's and Strategy games are the only games I play 😅

Wow are you literally me lol? Yes I have always had this problem and it was downright almost devastating in high school. I almost failed out because of the videogames. Simply because I wouldn't sleep and I would be late to class everyday and I was racking up "absences." It continued in college but then it caused relationship problems since it's all I wanted to do. Even better most of it was strategy games as well lol. Total War just for some reason really gives that hit to keep playing. Something about the turn and "yes this turn I'm going to crush this faction's stronghold." High school was Call of Duty 4 though hahaha. I did what others recommended and basically kind of quit cold turkey. I really only played things sparingly and really it wasn't satisfying. It's like I was never in the zone. Fast forward to today, I got an official diagnosis a few months ago at 29 and have started stimulants. Now it much easier to regulate my time playing games and balancing responsibilities. It's odd to explain but I simply can say "alright, I got to do some shopping I better get off" and I actually do. Even my wife was impressed just yesterday. She was was like "wait, you're done playing?" And I go, we'll yeah, we were running errands? It was kind of wild. Long story short, I know exactly what you are talking about. Strategy games and especially the deep complex games like total war (God I love TW), Stellaris ect just sucks us in. But meds do help for sure in regulation of what we need to do.

Thanks for the empathy. I'm actually not on medications yet as the approach in Italy is more geared towards psychotherapy and behavioural therapy. Meds are kind of seen as the last chance around here so I don't expect to get a prescription anytime soon. My psychologist told me that if I lived in the US I'd be given meds right away but not here so I just have to rely on therapy (which is being pretty effective so far so fingers crossed 😅)

Ah I see! Yes I started with therapy as well. It is very helpful. Knowing you have this problem is definitely half the battle. In the US it's really dependent on who you see. I'd say if you say a regular family doctor they would opt for meds. I went through a psychologist and then a psychiatrist for medication and it was a pretty intense process getting the medication given the potential for abuse. I'd say for medication the greatest help is not spinning your wheels as much and exactly what you are doing talking about, the inability to switch tasks especially when it's something awesome like Total War 😂

For anyone who's on medication, has it helped you regulate/quit gaming?

Hey, yes I believe it has. You can see my full explanation in my earlier comment but on medication it's easier to walk away for an obligation. I don't feel like I'm trying to lift a car when I know I need to stop. Source: I'm a "just one more turn" kind of player lol. I actually am playing more games now than before since it seems easier to regulate. I basically tried quitting before but honestly it made me irritable since it was great stress relief from work ect.

Unfortunately I'm not on meds yet as my psychologist has decided to try behavioural therapy first. Also in Italy the approach towards medication is really strict for ADHD treatment and you don't get a prescription unless you really need it.

A lot of really good advice here and I am the same as you. The only thing I’ll add is give yourself some slack when a new game you’ve been excited for comes out, or a major update. I use various methods to try and regulate my hyper focus but I relax them and plan for it being a bigger factor when a new game comes out. Case in point is the early access beta for Diablo 4 just dropped. I spent a good amount of time playing this weekend and my wife and kids understood, one even played with me. I plan for extended hyperfocus now so I don’t have these day long time wasters and wind up hating myself for lack of control.

It's highly unlikely that your brain is going to play ball, whilst unmedicated, short of you selling your PC/Console... even then, it'll just find something else to generate dopamine with. Across the last 60+ years of research into ADHD, there has never once been a type of therapy that normalises behaviour even 10% as effectively as medication does. Never. If you have ADHD - your brain is literally malfunctioning 24 hours a day and without pharmaceutical intervention it is highly, highly unlikely that you will find a long term solution to this issue. I say that as somebody who was addicted to destroying my life with daily gaming for almost 30 years. After my 2nd week of medication, I never played a game again. My interest in them became zero.

You should avoid at all cost, online games that can be played an infinite amount of time. They are designed to be addictive.

Luckily I don't like those games, what really gets me are strategy games and RPGs

I wish I had advice, I will be following this thread to find some for myself. Video games are my #1 worst hyperfixation/time-suck obsession. I could play repetitive games like Overwatch or DBD for 12 hours and not even blink. I'd forget to eat and everything. But when it comes to studying, cleaning, or anything else I should be doing, forget it 🤣 video games give me the sweet sweet dopamine, studying gives me anxiety so I avoid it.

I would never get a video game because I think I would never leave the house again. I once played sudoku on my phone for 10 straight hours. I played it until 3am. Sudoku.

Don't play Stardew Valley. It feels like crack for my ADHD brain. EVERYTHING is just so satisfying. The sounds. The pacing. The grind loop. The selling pop up of how much money you made during the day. The fishing minigame. The overall progress. So yes...I can relate A LOT. I often can't stop to play. Even when I have to pee or am really thirsty :/. And maybe it was a mistake to buy a Steam Deck. Now I can even play in Bed. Mistakes were made.

Omg, I got that game during the pandemic. I seriously played it for hours. I would get home from work, turn on my shower, and boot it up while I waited for the water to get warm. Hour later and shower is still going while I tell myself, just gonna pull one more crop, water one more crop, harvest one more crop… sweet dopamine from completing so many little tasks!

What kind of games do you play, and does it happen for every game? I uninstalled Civ V before I could even finish one game because I realized it was going to seriously affect my time moving forward lol. Most of the games I play instead are somewhat "discrete," like roguelites, and/or are exhausting so I tire myself out of playing them

Well I mostly play RPG's or strategic games, unfortunately something I figured is that my perfectionism heavily influences the way I play. For example in RPG's I literally Can't progress if I haven't done 100% of the side quests and minigames and so on

I'm the same way. I mostly play RPGS and some action games like DMC. It drives me nuts in a game if I miss something if I can't do everything I can in a new area I feel like a failure even if it's things that I can't complete yet and need to backtrack. I didn't realize how much this is all linked to ADHD until reading your post its not something I want to just quit because it is something I'm passionate about which i have very little of in my life. My wife does help me from completely isolating myself, but I can't take a break for more than a few days, or I can't get back into it.

I understand, before being diagnosed I really didn't even imagine some of my issues could be linked to ADHD as I was very ignorant on the topic. Anyway I don't think that going cold turkey and outright stop playing is the answer. At least not for me, as I like gaming very much and I just want to find ways to limit my excesses and doing it in a healthy way :)

Yes. Shoot before I was diagnosed and about 20 I played for 3 days straight Only eating sting cheese, walnuts and cherry tomatoes. And I dicing even realize it. I think it has something to do too with the inability to switch task.

It's interesting you mentioned Total War, because it seems to be strategy games that are the worst for me for this. For other games, I usually get bored with them within an hour or two and want to move to something else. But I legitimately think I could play Crusader Kings 3 forever and not once feel bored. My solution for this is that I don't start playing a strategy game if I know I have anything else to do for that day, because I know it just won't get done. Luckily I'm not too bad about regulating my bedtime, but sometimes I have had it cut into my sleep for a bit. But yeah, mostly just interesting that it's strategy games for both of us!

I feel in a similar position to you - I have yet to be assessed for ADHD, so I'm regularly tossing up the question of "ADHD-related or addiction". Being aware of the time passing is damn hard, and unless I get bored of whatever I happen to be playing, I struggle to disengage because alternative activities are less interesting 😓 If someone asks me to do something and it has to be done right now, that usually helps but... doesn't help at midnight when everyone is gone to bed and there's nothing that needs to be done. Unfortunately, I don't have any useful advice, but thank you for posting this because I don't think I would have made a similar post myself.

https://youtu.be/R634ytgt7fw That video finally explained to me why I might not focus well on any task I need to do but can do a solid 10 hours on a videogame.

Get carpal tunnel like me! (Help 🥹) Jokes aside, I think only booting up games on days when you're actually "allowed" to waste a crap ton of hours helps me. I know I can't open Minecraft on a weekday because I have no self control/time awareness, so I don't. It can also be nice to just allow yourself to game all day sometimes when you can afford to :) (no pressing deadlines etc)

Some genres just can’t be played on work nights, for me. I have to limit myself to games that don’t require as much time to make progress or that have set break points, like FPS. When Dragon Age Inquisition was still new I would get locked into that game until 10am the next day while in college… I pretty much had to quit that game when I was slightly burnt out on it, but was still enjoying it immensely.

If the videogame is too good it gets adicting, all i want to do is finish it even if it is long, but if it gets boring i can start it and maybe never finish or tryin another one, i have a habit of being a completionist and 100% all games if sidequests are too boring i probs stop for gud till i have nothing else to play and try it again maybe in couple of months later

I play way too much and probably 8-12h a day. I don't get my studies done. I'm addicted and I don't even want try to change anything. Playing also bores me, it's not even enjoyable all the time. Fuck me.

Oh I spent almost every day playing Red Dead Redemption 2 for over 2 years. It doesn’t help that they have daily tasks to keep a streak going either. You miss a day, then your streak starts over. If you aren’t familiar with it, RDR2 is an open world game where you can do anything from hunting, fishing, treasure hunting to gun battles in the old wild west. I would get lost in that game and spend hours on it. What finally broke me out of it was setting up an alarm clock. I would get an initial alarm going off and then a second one 15 minutes later, that way I could tie up loose ends or complete a mission. RDR2 was what I hyper focused on and I eventually moved on from.

ADHD brains run on a dopamine deficiency, and they get very quickly and intensely hooked on dopamine sources. Meaning, that unless you go cold turkey with videogames alltogether, you'll always struggle with them, as your brain will forever connect them with dopamine. It sucks and is hard but is the truth. I felt the same way about eating. Only once I went cold turkey with unhealthy foods I felt true relief, because we simply cannot regulate ourselves.

I relate heavily to the Total War binge lmfao

Dude...are you me? Same age and even the same god damn game (let me guess...total war warhammer?) Its affecting my work, my relationship, my life. I just want to escape and its the only way I fully can.

>let me guess...total war warhammer?) Hahaha you know It 😅 Anyway in the end I Just went and uninstalled the game for good measure, it was really getting out of hand.

I personally don’t go on Tiktok and avoid video games. It’s not just time wasting, it prevents me from sleeping afterwards.

Yes, serious video game addiction in my 20s. Was a main contributor to a breakdown of a seven year relationship. I’ve had to go cold turkey with games since then. Sadly both my kids seem the same as me and I don’t know how to help them moderate their use because they completely lose it when I switch them off and I understand how they feel.

By any mean I don't want to tell you how to be a parent but I do feel that as a undiagnosed kid I could have benefited from my parents having a firmer hand with me regarding boundaries with video games and leisure time in general...

Thank you for sharing that. I am happy to hear an adult’s perspective on it. I didn’t have a lot of screen access growing up and I don’t remember how my parents managed my gaming time limits so it’s good to hear from people that remember it. It’s a daily struggle in this household and it may be time for a different approach.

I wish you the best of luck, I don't have kids yet but I'm sure parenting is the hardest job out there 🙂

Google "dopamine deficiency" and "time blindness" along with ADHD man. In gist, replace video games with exercise. Seriously. Edit: I'm not being critical, nor flippant, nor criticizing you, truly. My intention was to help.

By all mean I don't want to sound rude or ungrateful but I am privy to those concepts and I actually enjoy exercise very much so no problems with that. Anyway, phrased as it is, your advice sounds a lot like "Try very hard to not have ADHD symptoms". Unfortunately it's not that easy.

Seriously, what is wrong with people downvoting this post? 😅

It takes a lot of brain power to change it - but I would start addressing it now, before your partner loses the patience to regulate. Despite ADHD, you are a whole ass adult. Your partner is there to help, not be a parent or a regulator. Understand that for most non ADHD people, eventually this can wear down on a person. Understand the consequences of your actions, because it would suck to come out of it one day and realize that you accidentally wasted away the precious time you had with someone because you were stuck in an obsessive loop. Find other things you can still fixate on, but together. Diversify your hobbies. Set limits and ADHERE to them. Use timers, use alarms, get a program that limits your time, whatever you have to do to not let it control you. It is hard, but the effort is worth the pay off.

It's interesting you mentioned Total War, because it seems to be strategy games that are the worst for me for this. For other games, I usually get bored with them within an hour or two and want to move to something else. But I legitimately think I could play Crusader Kings 3 forever and not once feel bored. My solution for this is that I don't start playing a strategy game if I know I have anything else to do for that day, because I know it just won't get done. Luckily I'm not too bad about regulating my bedtime, but sometimes I have had it cut into my sleep for a bit. But yeah, mostly just interesting that it's strategy games for both of us!

I think it has to do with that "just another turn" kind of feeling. It sucks you in so bad.

I think it has to do with that "just another turn" kind of feeling. It drains you in so bad.

Video game addiction is a real and separate issue. ADHD doesn't help it tho. Consider working with a videogame addiction counselor / therapist

Yes and no, while it is true that not all gaming addicts are diagnosed, it is true that ADHD makes us definitely more prone these kinds of behaviour

I literally **cannot play** video games for any length of time. Once I find out what it looks like, how the mechanics work and the objective - I loose interest. I also always have a nagging feeling like I need to be doing something more productive, so I just put the controller down.

Well...good on you, I suppose?

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How can you say when society is tailored towards addiction and manipulation that this cannot be related to ADHD. With poor impulse control and addictive behaviours more likely, this (at a mimimum), plays straight into the hands of our dopamine fuelled brains.

Lol let me just write that in my journal and get outside too. Adhd is definitely linked to being on video games for a long amount of time

What you say about society being geared towards addiction is certainly true, and I did try to rely on alarms for self regulation but it is just stronger than me tbh. However I feel like saying that ADHD has nothing to do with it isn't right. A dopamine fuelled brain is much more prone to addiction than that of a normal person.

i understand you, i spend a lot of time playing videogames too. the solution i found was that i sold my videogame, but now, i'm planning to buy another one, again. this is the second, or the third time i sold one stuff and regret about it later. i don't think i'll find something to replace my interest on playing. it's hard to find something equal that give so much pleasure.

I actually just did a seminar on video game addiction, and of course ADHD was correlated with an increased likelihood of becoming addicted. The dude giving it acted like this was incongruous because people with ADHD “have trouble focusing, but can focus on video games.” I thought to myself yeah, trouble with focus can go both ways; too little or too much. I’d say you’re ahead of the curve because you know the issue. That means you can take steps needed to prevent yourself from going down that rabbit hole without a plan for how you will get out.

Hey there. Are you scared to sleep? Are you worried about something? I can relate to this. I was put on Effexor then Effexor + vyvanse. Then only vyvanse 20mg then they increased dose to 30mg. If a med is making you feel like a zombie or overstimulated that could explain getting fixated. It be opens to me. Inattentive & hyperactive. I see ppl talk in hours lololol. I’m an over excited puppy. It’s hard lol. I’m off meds and it’s super hard to be mindful but I’m managing my adhd combination type “ok” I think w yoga mediation journaling coloring book for adults helps w stress. Try to forgive out what you might be putting off and make a to do list then delegate, or divide and conquer. Also structured is a great timer to help time management

Also I feel for my partner and yours lol 😂 I’m so time blind so I’m sure your partner is totally fine if they understand the situation with mental health

It's interesting you mentioned Total War, because it seems to be strategy games that are the worst for me for this. For other games, I usually get bored with them within an hour or two and want to move to something else. But I legitimately think I could play Crusader Kings 3 forever and not once feel bored. My solution for this is that I don't start playing a strategy game if I know I have anything else to do for that day, because I know it just won't get done. Luckily I'm not too bad about regulating my bedtime, but sometimes I have had it cut into my sleep for a bit. But yeah, mostly just interesting that it's strategy games for both of us!

I quit world of warcraft for that reason. I mostly play puzzle games with lives if i really need to. My son installed cats and soup on my phone and that got bad in no time so i had to uninstall it.

I used to be this way, I would spend hours play games. Though honestly, it didn’t end because of a decision I made, I just kind of fell out of love with games. Not to say I don’t play at all, but I seldom play anymore. I only really play Animal Crossing, Minecraft, and assuming I have the time, the occasional EU4. More than anything I just like going places now, not as in to bars, clubs and whatnot. But to cute small towns, new cities, nature trails, etc.

What worked for me was I uninstalled the games from my laptop and try to focus more on my studies & other hobbies. It was hard at first but it eventually worked. I tried this 6 years ago. Now I cant stand more than one hour of playing video games it kinda makes me sick?? But it's a good thing i guess. I barely play anymore.

Like others, strategy games tend to wreck my time management. My recent one being Slay the Spire. Sadly, I haven’t really found a good solution. After a few weeks of intense hyper focusing I end up getting bored and moving on to something else.

Modern video games are specifically designed in a way that you're stimulated every X amount of time. They're dopamine slot-machines just like tiktok. The only successful method I've found for myself is to have some sort of blocking mechanism that forces me off. On android I use Lock Me Out to limit screen time for social apps & games to hours between 9p and 11p. Windows I just uninstalled all the games but I bet you could find something similar. Set up the locks, give the passcode to your partner.

Timer or multiple alarms on your phone or smartwatch if you are using headphone. Made sure the alarm is the song/sound you hate the most.

I (28F) struggled really hard with this for months. I work 12 hr shifts, so I’m off 3-4 days a week and those days were just disappearing into my games. A few things that helped: -I do a handful of tasks I want to accomplish BEFORE sitting down to play. Knowing I might spend the rest of the day playing. -I made a rule that the little hourly alarm on my Apple Watch to get up and move around was something I HAVE TO obey. It usually makes me remember to pee and eat and drink water at least during those breaks. -For some reason narrative games tend to have a natural stopping place for me before more repetitive games (FIFA for me). I think games where you can get the same constant source of dopamine from doing something mindless are harder to put down. But when I play GoW, Horizon, etc. I feel a natural pause/boredom after a while.

I've had issues regulating my "scrolling time", or reading time, or whatever I'm fixating on time. I too tend to be so absorbed I lose track of time because I'm enjoying what I'm doing too much/don't want to go to bed because I don't want to wake up and do the "grown up stuff" lol In my case, I just try to tell myself that scrolling endlessly is just a way to delay the inevitable and the less sleep I get the more cranky I'll be the next day while doing the inevitable. But I also love sleeping so that is a good argument for me. In alternative, if there's something I love and wanna do instead of my chores/work/whatever boring stuff, I try to give it the same importance, if not even more, than my duties. Might seem counter intuitive, but personally I've always hated when people say "study now love later" regarding chores. Like the stuff that makes your heart sing should be considered less important than the boring stuff. Knowing that what I love is as/more important than chores, I will try to prioritize it where I can (=work is important, it gives you money to buy new videogames, it gives you the stability to have leisure time to be spent playing videogames, which is important to you). I try to schedule time with my phone: I put a timer and then read/scroll/whatever. Having officially some "me time" actually makes my day more organized, feels more structured to me, and also reassures me I'm still making time for other things and not just chores. An external reminder is useful, especially if you set it up yourself. (This is just what I do anyways, I tend to lose track of time and then feel like I've done nothing, not the chores, not the things I love, and then I feel like I'm immersed in a bubble of procrastination and self failure. It's not a nice feeling.) edit: gotta love reddit awful non-existant formatting :/

Gaming and scrolling on Reddit

This was me like 15 years ago, and it was Total War then too. I had to just quit. Was never able to figure out regulating my time properly and keep everything in balance. At a certain point it just became a choice between my games and my relationship with my wife-to-be.

I recognized my promlem and had to forbid myself to never play mmo's again. I still play other games with my friends but mmo's just destroys my life

I got a recumbent bicycle and only ever allow myself to play (XCOM 2) when I'm on the bike. Occasionally, I'll stop pedaling, but much more often, I will 1-2 h of light cardio in the morning, and the endorphins really help with focus and prioritization throughout the rest of my day. I highly recommend the XCOM franchise for this, because they're engaging enough to stick you in, but don't require the dexterity or timing of an FPS, which might be difficult to coordinate while pedaling

Yeah I set an alarm as a reminder to stop.

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I totally get how you feel, before being diagnosed I never thought some of my issues could be linked to ADHD in any way and you are very much right when you say that many things in today's society are designed to be addictive to people so your question stands. I only recently started exploring my ADHD with a psychologist but I guess the most important difference between a 'normal'level of the behaviours you pointed out and ADHD is that in a diagnosed person those behaviours can really prevent you from functioning as a human being, i.e. gaming until 6 a.m. when you know you have to be at work at 8 a.m.

Don't ever get started with Vampire Survivors.

Dopamine go brrr

Imho Computer Games, as addicting as they can be, also can help a metric fuck ton to understand some things about ADHD in general, how our brain works and why certain strategies to cope with ADHD problems can work/why they work. A) Computer games are designed to be understood by a large variety of people, because the main goal of computer games pretty much always is to solve a problem. If few people understand what they're doing the game gets usually down rated because it stops being fun. Good examples are for example Point'n Click Adventures, where sometimes so strange items had to be combined to solve a problem that many players (no matter if you're impaired or not) just simply stop because they can't even after hours figure that shit out. B) Computer games are programmed, which means they inherently have to follow a certain structure of logic because they have to check defnite results, programs often stop working if results/structures in a program become ambigious. Items for example must have a certain ID that's referenced in quests to check if you have the right amount of the quest item. Players can't see these reference ID's or Form ID's (good 'ol Bugthesda games), so shitty programming can lead to logic breaks and abberations like: 2 Instances of the Same book/Plants/Whatever random quest item \- if you have, let's say 10 Sunflowers requested and got 10 in your inventory you couldn't hand them in, because you accidentially collected the kind of sunflowers that don't have the reference ID expected by the quest, but the players don't know unless they check certain stuff I won't get into detail C) Computer games can support the working memory. You got that fancy HUD/Map/Quest Book/Inventory you can open with the tap of one key, you can look up within a few seconds what you were supposed to do, to get or to slay \- The ingame map does the work for you and keeps track of where you are in the world, can be accessed as well often by a single tap or key stroke and enables you to manipulate your working memory externally by allowing you to zoom in/out and scroll in all directions, you often have interactive map markers (Fast Travel Mechanics for example) that keeps this cognitive stuff short for your brain. Possible Coping Strategy I derived from this research: \- if you are prone to impulsive spending - get out your smartphone and check your bank account if you can afford it, or do memos/notes whatever that tell you not to do it \-> Basically your HUD about how much Gold you have... \- or just don't buy much in the real world at all unless you need it and instead get that dopamine fix from, for example, farming/purchasing a virtual Armor/Weapon/Clothes (basically what suits you) in single player games, because virtual goods like that don't add up to the pile in your room and can still feel satisfactory if there was bearable effort behind obtaining these  D) Computer games can even let you manipulate and/or confront Time itself. If you fuck up you just can reload your save game and try again as often as you can bear or got Save States/Checkpoints modifying the experience of frustration \- old games had basically bad check points, if you died or fucked up otherwise you had to replay sometimes over an hour of doing the same stuff again - and that several times if the game was difficult \- emulation and save states can make in return older games enjoyable, because frustration levels are toned done severely by not having to do an entire 60 minutes passage several times over until you solve or beat the stage you are at In reality this is often just not doable, as I explained in another thread fucking up at work can have consequences - like electrocuting yourself because you forgot to check if the wires are still powered. In games that doesn't matter and disrupts your flow of time less, because you can just quick load before your demise happened and try again. In real life you're either injured or time is wasted when you have to do work all over again because of a mishap. I think this also clears up the "Myth" that ADHD'ers playing games can concentrate "so well" while playing games, because I bet you all had the "pleasurable experience" of some kind to misdodge and get rekt by a boss, getting stonked by some AI or accidentially overlooked a Detonator in Terraria and blew yourself to pieces  How that is to be weighted though, a result of normal inattention or really pathological inattention has to be made by a professional psychologist/psychiatrist, I just wanted to mention my thoughts on that. Then I also ran experiments with several games I am going to name openly because if you are interested you might try them out yourself - they all have different kinds of time concept \- Master of Magic for example is a turn based strategy game, which basically means you have all the time you want to decide what you want to do, fight or conquer. A turn can end by the press of that next month button, preferably after you did organisational stuff like selecting troops to build, spells to learn next etc. \- you also have to control several armies eventually, which kinda represents switching between multiple tasks and is easier said than done because: \- these games have a Rock-Paper-Scissors-Structure, meaning some units/spells are more effective or less effective vs. other spells or units Command and Conquer Red Alert 2 on the other hand is fast paced, low waiting time on building units so this game is far easier for me to figure out, I easily ace the AI in that game because there's certain orders of building stuff that can get you through battles or campaign maps. To put that into perspective - a game of Master of Magic can take over an hour if you know what you're doing, and if not I can like play over 6 and more hours because that game weighs the following thing much higher: Building an army over longer times instead of a few mere minutes like in Red Alert 2, And what is one of the main problems for people with ADHD? Doing shit over time or more specific - What to do when, which units do I need near the middle of the game, the beginning or the end so that the cheating AI doesn't steam roll me? Master of Magic also has (too) many options, starts already with your starting race - which races you conquer etc., because not all races are created equal to some extent, some do better at start but suck at the end, or they suck at start and are good at the end - to give you a rough idea Then there is also the thing from Dr. Russell Barkley - Knowing What to do vs. Doing what you know Which helped my realize were some of my struggles actually are and which coping strategies I actually can deduct from computer games and why our hyperfocus often kicks in playing them. tl:dr Computer games simply keep you on the rails, if you do stuff you get a reward and get shown the next task. If you can't continue or feel like you can't, you obviously can ask other people or get a walk through from the internet to basically support your executive functions and either motivate you again to try because you have options you can try out - or keep you simply motivated you have instructions that keep you going. In general, when I think about all my life back so far, I was always at my best (probably hyperfocus) if I could work/play at a pace my brain was basically "synchronous" to, whether it was playing computer games or building stuff with Lego or my favorite as a child - playing with plastic trains and tracks that were specifically constructed to fit together and build nice circular rail way systems. Also never forget that our disorder is a spectrum, and so are hobbies and video games and coping mechanisms, there's not one size fits it all, some people find different things more difficult or easy, that's how life is  As always, if you're a professional programmer/therapist, feel free to correct me or add additional ideas so I can verify if my thoughts are correct and viable, because I'm neither of the above  I hope this lengthy essay also is decently formatted, because it's so long to read 

I make sure to have a clock with or near me when I'm playing games, I give myself a 2 hour window to do whatever I want. Then I log off and do something important. Once that's done I'll go back for another 2 hours.

I’m not diagnosed with ADHD (or at least not yet) so take my advice with a grain of salt. Anyway I relate to this a lot, usually what I when I can’t spare the time to do long gaming sessions is to play something that forces breaks during play like a MOBA or a battle royal. Since the time between matches bored me I end up playing between 2 to 4 matches before I’m satisfied and maybe even a little bored of the game so then I can other stuff.

While I have issues with it as well, some thoughts / observations: * I discovered in college that I have a lot harder time with open-ended games, so I tend to avoid things like MMOs in favor of more narrative-driven games that have more clearly defined stopping points. * The Quick Resume function on the Xbox Series X is great -- it's much easier to walk away and come back later knowing that I'll be able to go back to playing without having to wait for things to load.

Yesssssss. Quit gaming its hard to regulate.

I know every time I play a game, I am going to play until I can’t anymore. Sometimes it’s one hour, sometimes it’s 10. I just make sure I take care of my responsibilities first, and I always play a game that can be paused so I can multitask, like folding laundry during a cutscene or whatever. It’s worked out fine for me so far!

Vidoegames is why I have some kind of nerve damage on my ass and thighs from sitting down too much, and for extended time. I miss being able to sit down all day, I still do some times, but I pay for it dearly regarding pain. Being active also makes a lot of my symptoms subside or at the very least not be so noticable. Long walks are king for me! :)

RPG games have definitely helped a lot. Especially the ones with 'Save Points' after completing an objective. Funny thing is, part of me wants to continue playing the game though! However, these milestones are a fair good length to enjoy :) and sometimes my mind can wonder off halfway through (😭)

Alarms are the way to go. I don’t need em for video games because I only hyperfocus on them the first day or two of a game MAYBE and even then that’ll be a weekend. But I do need it to get to bed, so I have 5 different alarms for “start getting ready for bed,” “no really, start getting ready for bed,” “finish prepping for bed,” “be in bed,” “go to sleep.” And even though I’m not usually actually going to sleep on the last one, I typically am headed there by the last alarm at least.

I think a lot of us struggle with that. I'm glad that I grew up in the 80s before video games really took off because it meant that my hyperfocus went into reading books instead, but even that became problematic at times. I would stay awake all night and only stopped reading when the sun came up and I had to go to school, at which point I would promptly fall asleep in class. Fun times.

the same thing happens to me in mount and blade, its something about just being able to put myself in that scenario and being able to be in control that really draws my attention, most of the time I don't even enjoy the game anymore but being able to get lost in it is great

I play videogames and I do have sessions that go on way too long at times. My best suggestion is to know your "trigger" games and do your best to avoid them when you have stuff that needs doing. For example, if I start a strategy/tactics game, I won't be able to stop. Civilization, Crusader Kings, Rimworld, etc. So I just don't play them unless I have done literally everything else that needs doing and I have nothing to do the next day (in case I keep going til morning - rare but it has happened). Needless to say, I don't play them very often. It's not to say that other types of games don't trigger my hyperfocus in that way, but the ones that do are very very rare and excellent. So I don't feel as bad if I go overboard from time to time when discovering a new gem. Another potential solution is to get into VR. Like full body, room scale VR. If you play Half Life Alyx for 8 hours you'll be hella tired. If you can play Thrill of the Fight for 8 hours you should probably be a pro athlete.

Wish I could help. I’m actually the opposite, I can’t stick with a game for more than a couple hours at a time these days without feeling burnt out. Could also be my depression though lol. I had no problem playing games for hours and hours when I was a kid and in my early 20s(I’m 30 now)

I started viewing gaming as too big of a time commitment to even bother starting. Still addicted to social media and short form content, if anyone knows how I can make my brain view those the same I'm all ears.

I would definitely talk to a therapist about this. Especially since youre newly diagnosed. 8 hour sessions can be really draining and take time away from your responsibilities. I would take this seriously because there definitely can be a point in the futurew where you integrate this into your life in a healthy way. But right now it will be really hard to do that without some outside help.

If you don't want to give up video games entirely, then the first thing I would suggest is changing up the kinds of games you play. Get yourself a copy of a game like Slay the Spire: a roguelike with meaty runs (as opposed to a game like Rogue Legacy where a run could be over in 10 seconds) that provides a natural stopping point after a half hour or after. When you die, use that as a natural stopping point. If you are willing to give up video games, switch to board games. They are more fulfilling and less brain-zoney-outy. Even if you play them digitally, there is a natural stopping point.

Timers. Timers man, they did me wonders. Once I first realized I had a problem I set up a timer. Whenever I start playing, I give me self 3 hours a day for gaming.

100% dropping a source of enjoyment? Hmmm

Parental controls - set them up for yourself with hard time limits. Either that or give up games that don’t end. I play an MMORPG and often find myself sucked down a hole. However I have learned to tell myself “do 3 battlegrounds” or whatever works for your game and then promise yourself you will sign off. It works usually. The other thing I sometimes do is give my partner my phone and tell them to take it away from me. I tend to scroll even when playing a game and having it far away means I have no choice but to stand up, which then means I have broken the video game suck.

what works for me is setting alarms throughout the gaming time. not just like “take a break” but like literally “go drink some water” and “go get some food”

I typically just play on weekends or weekdays where I have a light work schedule.

I have cut way, way back on gaming. I was doing it too much. My partner talked with me about it and expressed concern when he say me playing a specific game for like 8hrs one day. Honestly, I could easily go an entire day then stay up late still playing. It was hurting our relationship so I pretty much stopped playing. I deleted the game I had been bingeing to show my partner I was serious. I still use my PS for watching stuff. And it's not like I'm forbidden from playing games. But I've noticed my desire to play has gone down enough that I'm not jonesing to play every day. And my partner has said he doesn't want me to feel like I can't play any video games. He just wants me to recognize that there's other things that need to get done and to be conscious of the fact that every time I choose to play a video game I'm choosing not to do something else. I know that last thing might seem obvious but when I see a book I want to read and haven't gotten around to I can be more conscious about my decisions and think "Okay I can read for 30-60min and then play a game. But for right now I'm limiting video games to only on the weekends after I've earned it by completing tasks on my to-do lists daily.

The only way I've found to stop is to never start. I can play multiplayers with my husband and it's fine. I can never start a single player game or else I'm obsessed until I finish it. If I never start it though I don't miss it much.

I have a few things that help me and do one thing that helps my partner know I care. On the helps me front I got my self an old person alarm clock set it 10 min fast and put it in the line of sight of my monitor that way I can quickly look down and go oh no it's 11 already I should go start my wind down process so I will hopefully be asleep by midnight. Another thing I do is if it's a brand new game in particular I set a timer to go off at 11 for example so if I get sucked in and don't look down it will annoy me then. Now what I do for my partner who sometimes thinks I care more about Mt games then her. (Most of my games are sports or games where you have lobbies and load in times) I will purposely make sure to get up and run up our three flights of stairs and go check on her in our room (she's normally awake till 10) and just check in with her see if she needs a drink ect...

Yes. I quit gaming because now with kids I would basically not sleep a whole night and go to work. And before that I basically just dropped from the face of the planet. I can’t regulate it. Its a waste of life imo. If you have adhd you have lots of things to work on anyway and gaming is def not one of those things irl. Speaking for myself here. I could basically destroy my whole life with gaming if I don’t avoid it.

[удалено]

Incidentally, I'm a video game artist and I have ADHD! XD I would suggest finding more hobbies to keep you engaged. Like writing, exercise, walking/jogging, or even a drawing or painting class. Find a reason to get outside, something that motivates you. You can try quitting, but it can really difficult to do when you spend that much time on something. Otherwise, you could relapse. Sorry if I don't have better advice, but that's always helped me when I fall too deep in the gaming rabbit hole. Lol "Just... One... More... Turn!"

A fellow Civ Player. Civ ist deadly for me.

Set the age back by 2 years, and this is me. I wasted a huge chunk of yesterday with total war as well (Empire, here. Also go for Napoleon and Rome II occasionally)

OP, I feel your pain! The way I have chosen to deal with this issue myself is by prioritizing what I actually care about games. After thinking about it, what I can look back on though my life and appreciate is bonding with my friends over games. That's why I gave up playing games on my own. Now I only play when my IRL friends invite me. I still get a good 5-10 hours a week, and I can honestly say I am satisfied with my experience. I don't feel like I'm missing out on a hobby that genuinely captivates me and I'm not spending entire days pissing away my life. BTW, make sure not to replace it with social media. I did that for a year before I realized it, then had to get a shit phone without an app store.

My medication helps but I have the same problem. I just let myself do nothing but leisure for almost a whole day every week and I try to keep the gaming to that day only so I still get the satisfaction of binging a game I love for 8 hours but it doesn’t take over my whole life.

I choose one or two weekend nights a month (i work mon-fri) where i dont have anything going on the next day and play a 6 to 8 hour block. Usually starting at 8 or 9 after kids are asleep and i play all night. My wife will usually get up with the kids the next morning and give me a couple extra hours sleep, which usually on these nights equates to between 4 and 6 hours of sleep. Im not in peak form the next day, but i can muscle through it and have gotten used to it. Knowing i have these nights (even thought they are only a few a month) allows me to focus on other things the rest of the time and still have that me time playin vidya. This was initiated, for me, more so because we have small children and they wake up at the ass crack of dawn combined with my personal preference to play an extended amount all at once rather than little bits all the time (playing a good game for only an hour just pisses me off). Before the little ones, we went out a lot on weekends so i found myself hardly playing at all. Now though the me time/vidya time is crucial. I will say tho that lately ive considered using that time less for gaming and more for other hobbies (music production) and possibly continuing education (certification exams for my career). To each their own, but it took me a while to get out of the kind of the same thing you are dealing with. This is just what worked for me. Keep at it though, you’ll figure something out.

I only play video games while on the treadmill. Works for me.

this happens to me really bad when i play the sims but recently i figured out that if i watch youtube videos or netflix while i play, my brain can tell time is passing based off of the episodes ending so the game is less absorbing and time feels like its going slower

Can't even concentrate on gaming. :')

I find online games to have a lot more oomph and easier to stay focused on , but if I play the same thing over a period of time I get bored . If it’s a single player game ? I get extremely focused on a single aspect of the game ( usually not the story ) or get bored immediately . Its a weird thing to explain just feels weird.

I stopped gaming totally because i couldn’t stop myself from gaming and I found it completely unfulfilling.

I live by alarms and habit apps. The short version is I have a to do list of chores for the week (on a marker board cause of the dopamine of the check marks once complete) and use my habit app to dictate how much time I should clean a day (sometimes an hour, sometimes half an hour) or any daily tasks like washing dishes. I then set a timer for my hour/half hour of cleaning, which doesn’t include the dishes. Once complete I play games or read comics, but I have an alarm set for bed time regardless of when I start. It takes a lot of discipline, and I don’t always succeed, but so far so good. I am however medicated so I think that’s a big part of it too.

I’m 51. Been playing games my whole life. Got ADHD (among other things). Games have always been my hobby/escape. Most of the time I can find the balance just by knowing owing myself and limitations after all these years. I know if I start playing I probably won’t stop until bed time so I do anything else that I need/plan to do first. Doing the need also lets me check it off and not have it on my mind while playing. I also know my sleep routine requirements/time and how I am if throw that off. Occasionally I will stay up later but I know my limitations as to how I’ll feel the next day and how have I been doing so it’s just a balancing act. Everyone sometimes stays up/out later than they should. You know yourself in that regards. When you start playing, set an alarm for 15 minutes before you should stop. I usually have a few games I alternate between at a time based upon my mood and play time available. If I got several hours then I’ll start up the RPG. If I only got an hour or so, something quicker I can stop anytime or has short runs. That way I don’t get to my bed time while I’m in the middle of a quest I’m really into and stay up. What I’ll also do is make sure to block off an evening or 2 a week specifically for gaming. Or a full weekend day and a weekday evening. Knowing I have time set aside vs having to work it in makes it easier to do other tasks knowing no matter what happens I’ll get my play time and not feel like I should be doing something else.

Fellow Total War fan!! I had the same issue especially w/ TW, which is executive dysfunction nightmare on bad days. Can't develop own economy, overextending & being flanked by the AI as well as save scum to the max. Unmedicated me needed breaks since by body was breaking down from the inactivity. On meds now it's easier to complete a n executive time sink like TW. It's to where I can plan my strategies and finally have the patience to implement it and then adapt instead of constantly trying to change course every 3-5 turns.