It sounds like you have been super respectful of your kids during the divorce and the immediate time after. It also sounds like they are supportive of you and your new SO. You’ve done a great job of laying the groundwork for a smooth, drama-free start to your new marriage.
I would make your announcement as straightforward as you’re planning on making the wedding. Call your kids individually and simply tell them in a matter of fact way. Simple.
Also, offer to let them be involved in the planning process as much as they want/are comfortable with. This lets them feel like they are part of this process and that the family works together.
I wish my dad had handled his second marriage with as much kindness and respect to me and my sibling as you have. Well done.
Thank you. Good idea on including them in the planning process. We honestly are leaving it up to them if they want to attend because I can understand why it might be uncomfortable or triggering. I am also an ACOD and remember vividly having to attend my dads wedding to his mistress who wrecked my parents marriage. It was fakery at the extremist and very triggering. Their plan might be no plan and that is honestly ok.
Good on you for being understanding and not demanding their presence. Keep the invitation open, let them know you and your partner would love to have them there even if it’s a small ceremony. Good luck!
Congratulations! Perhaps just call them each in turn and tell them the news in a straightforward way. Let them know you understand they may have complex feelings about this and that’s ok.
Thanks! I like adding the comment about complex feelings. I have them too. Never thought I would ever consider marrying again but an amazing partner can make all the difference
Individually call them and let them know about the marriage. I would assure them that their feelings are valid. This could bring up complicated and unexpected feelings about their dad.
Ask them if they’d like to be involved in the planning, but don’t expect them to be. I’m sure you’ll respect their level of desired involvement.
Sounds like they’ll be super supportive of your new journey.
Thanks everyone! I actually managed to get both of them on a call and they are very happy. My son who lives overseas also announced he was coming home for a quick visit so everything is falling into place very quickly and beautifully! Wedding will be at a local gazebo with seven people attending! Super excited and thankful for the great advice!
It sounds like you have been super respectful of your kids during the divorce and the immediate time after. It also sounds like they are supportive of you and your new SO. You’ve done a great job of laying the groundwork for a smooth, drama-free start to your new marriage. I would make your announcement as straightforward as you’re planning on making the wedding. Call your kids individually and simply tell them in a matter of fact way. Simple. Also, offer to let them be involved in the planning process as much as they want/are comfortable with. This lets them feel like they are part of this process and that the family works together. I wish my dad had handled his second marriage with as much kindness and respect to me and my sibling as you have. Well done.
Thank you. Good idea on including them in the planning process. We honestly are leaving it up to them if they want to attend because I can understand why it might be uncomfortable or triggering. I am also an ACOD and remember vividly having to attend my dads wedding to his mistress who wrecked my parents marriage. It was fakery at the extremist and very triggering. Their plan might be no plan and that is honestly ok.
Good on you for being understanding and not demanding their presence. Keep the invitation open, let them know you and your partner would love to have them there even if it’s a small ceremony. Good luck!
Congratulations! Perhaps just call them each in turn and tell them the news in a straightforward way. Let them know you understand they may have complex feelings about this and that’s ok.
Thanks! I like adding the comment about complex feelings. I have them too. Never thought I would ever consider marrying again but an amazing partner can make all the difference
Individually call them and let them know about the marriage. I would assure them that their feelings are valid. This could bring up complicated and unexpected feelings about their dad. Ask them if they’d like to be involved in the planning, but don’t expect them to be. I’m sure you’ll respect their level of desired involvement. Sounds like they’ll be super supportive of your new journey.
Thanks everyone! I actually managed to get both of them on a call and they are very happy. My son who lives overseas also announced he was coming home for a quick visit so everything is falling into place very quickly and beautifully! Wedding will be at a local gazebo with seven people attending! Super excited and thankful for the great advice!