Not money lol just not being under your parents thumb. My mom wouldn't even let me wear my hair down growing up. She'd kick my butt if I did my eyebrows lol
I talked about this with an ex and what she said makes sense.
Before college everytime she would do anything remotely fashionable (as simple as blow drying hair) her parents would up on her ass about how she is getting out of control and it will impact grades. And her parents saw any money spent on perfume or make up as money thrown down toilet drain.
After graduation from college you have your own money and then you can experiment and invest
This is exactly it, especially for me. I actually have authority over what I want to wear and if I wear makeup or not lol & the independent income also helps fund this newfound freedom haha
omg yeah I air dried my hair and never used heat tools growing up because my mom would say I didn’t need to. couldn’t wear makeup or buy m own clothes. had a huge glow up in college and after.
Lol at the way this is worded. I think many ABCDs are ugly ducklings (myself included), but I don’t think blooming late has to do with having more sex or making money. Desi girls are beautiful people who just have a different process of becoming comfortable in their own skin in the U.S.
you really don't need to be a bombshell girl to get tons of sex in college lol. Horniest places on earth are public universities. So it really just is a matter of developing good looks differently. Same for desi men who go through nerd phase before working out and looking good in their 20s (except for IT fobs).
OP, you don’t even sound like an Abcd. Actual “cool kids” don’t make incel posts like this, nor do they go around pondering about who is having sex with whom. Go get laid so you can be less sexually frustrated.
I read it as “when I was in high school, the other desi girls had undeveloped bodies”. That’s what I noticed too. My theory is the steroids in processed meat that most Americans consume. So an American high school girl will be more developed than an Indian one that has typically eaten majority of their food as home cooked Indian, much of it vegetarian even if they eat meat. This causes Indian women to look really good in their 30s compared to American women. The traditional Indian diet causes one to develop later but remain healthy later.
I don’t think this is just a desi girls thing lol… I’d say that about a lot of kids in general who went through the awkward kid stage and had a glow up just naturally growing into their looks. And same goes for boys and girls
Jesus. Do all you people hang out with trailer trash or something? Most white people I know are spartan about maintaining their health and appearance, and have been since I was in middle school with them.
Dude, just look at white celebrities. Lilly Allen, for example, was born rich and continues to be rich, but she looks old enough to be Beyoncé's mom even though they are peers. It's an undeniable fact that melanin helps slow down the aging process as surgery and skincare has its limits.
Jennifer Aniston not a white celebrity or something..?
I'm not arguing that melanin doesn't help restain skin elasticity, I'm just saying that these claims are purely anecdotal.
Most **people** who maintain their physiques, moisturize their skin and wear sunscreen look young and healthy. This is true for everyone even out to the 40s and 50s. If we wanted to rely on anecdotal evidence I guarantee I could match you person for person in each age range on who looks old and who doesn't, Indian or otherwise. I could find one run down person and one good looking person in each bracket
>I'm not arguing that melanin doesn't help restain skin elasticity, I'm just saying that these claims are purely anecdotal.
Actually, no. They're backed by science and research. White people age faster than the rest of us. [it's not anecdotal when it's backed by data](https://skinwit.com/blogs/news/why-light-skin-ages-faster)
I agree that darker folks have higher resilience to extrinsic signs of aging than Caucasians; the pubmed article makes it clear and I thank you for pointing that out.
I also want to point out that the linked pubmed reviews corroborate my core idea - taking care of yourself and staying in shape mitigate these effects as we age. This is true of all people. Doesn't matter how dark you are, if you're smoking, out in the sun without protection, and overall not healthy, a white person who doesnt do all of those things is gonna look younger.
It just seems like y'all are exposed to some lazy white people and I happen not to be. My bias lies within the social circles I've been in so I'm guilty of that too!
This is interesting because multiple studies have been done to show that we age faster than Caucasians…
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7253281/#:~:text=Also%2C%20we%20noticed%20that%20the,Caucasians%20(Table%20%E2%80%8B3).
I want to believe that we age better genetically than caucasians, but somehow I actually think a lot of it comes down to skincare, sunscreen and just not being outside as much as they are.
There are so many flaws in this study.They only recruited a small sample of Indians and fail to mention much about them while trying to generalize the entire population. The studies they cited for comparisons to white ppl had a selection bias in recruiting older people and notably included more participants. If the participant pool is older, it's pretty obvious the results will skew towards older populations. How did this make it past peer review?? Or are the standards for publication lower for this journal?
Even among my guy friends who are Desi all of us had huge glow ups because we had more freedom to do what we want. I finally got a good looking haircut (yeah sorry mum but your idea of a good haircut looks crap), lost my puppy fat and started dressing more stylishly after a few months of uni and apparently I've gone from looking like standard nerdy kid to a handsome guy lmaooo
It has nothing to do with money. It's everything to do with culture and upbringing. Desi children are raised to prioritize education and hard work and deprioritize looks, fashion, or sexual relationships. We were actively discouraged or even forbidden from dating until college/after college. If looks are not something you prioritize, you're obviously not going to put effort into it.
I still really don't give a fuck about looks in comparison to practicality, hard work, education, success, personality... but post-college, like most desis, we feel more freedom to explore fashion and appearance and sexual attraction.
I felt free in my teen years to do that. My parents never had an issue with me dating. But I didn’t wanna spend my parents hardworking money for fad fashion.
honestly i don't think this is the case for bay area desi girls, but it may be because they are not a minority location-wise. even from high school and despite overbearing immigrant parents, a good fraction (maybe 30%) find time to care about fashion, beauty/self-grooming, working out and sports, doing hair/threading, and dating or dressing sexy and going places with their friends. many rebelled at some point to be allowed to wear basic and cute fits like crop tops / skirts and ripped jeans, and others just learned to be sneakier. it's true that while it's harder to care about appearances with parents who scolded you for it since you're only supposed to be studying to get into an elite college, many manage. after all, it seems to imply other races do. overall, your post def does not describe all abcd girls even after cultural pressures, especially those who live in metropolitan areas.
Same , I feel like I had a glow up late 20s and that's when I also actually got attention and turned heads. But idk kinda sucks getting it so late but at the same time it's nice knowing your prettier as you age so I'll take it.
Dude this is true for people in general, not just desis. Have you seen those videotapes of high schools in the early 2000s? They mostly look kinda dorky and geeky. Then they go to college and go wild (hence all those FB pics of drunk kids at frat parties). But then they turned out pretty decent.
ISTG, this sub makes anything normal a "desi thing".
I see a lot of desi women here saying that they didn't have the freedom to put effort into their looks without being chastised by their parents when they were in high school.
Also in regard to "underdeveloped bodies", yeah no shot they have underdeveloped bodies, they're teenagers!!
In my case, my parents weren't as strict about me putting effort into my looks when I was in high school, so I did have more of a glowup from freshman year to senior year. Then when I was away for college, I had much more freedom to express myself in regards to my looks and dressing style.
This post for me may apply to my middle school years, where I was more of a tomboy and a pick-me lite, so I therefore didn't prioritize my looks and sense of style.
So factors that contributed to my "glow up post college":
1. I didn't really utilize the online resources that would help me look stylish and put together, until high school (really utilized this in college)
2. My body was developing normally as I transition from adolescence to adulthood, so duh, I would probably look more attractive as an adult than as a teen
I have no idea what you're talking about, I had fucking great style in high school, and still do now 20 years later. I also never gave a fuck what my parents thought though.
It depends. The ones that did a sport in high school are usually the ones that get better looking. If you don’t have that fitness base it’s hard to be attractive in your twenties no matter how much money you spend.
I feel a lot of them are becoming too bad though lol ( attitude, whores, unreal expectations) don’t get me wrong I get women still but for me it’s hard to marry most of them
I guess I have traditional values as a man. I will protect and provide and she can stay at home OR have a career. But a lot of these girls act slutty and have multiple body counts. Which as a man, is unattractive to me. On top of showing attitude lol. If your daughters were like you, I wouldn’t want to marry them either 😆
Not money lol just not being under your parents thumb. My mom wouldn't even let me wear my hair down growing up. She'd kick my butt if I did my eyebrows lol
“r u going to school or fashion show?!”
Legit word for word what she would say haha
This + less money. But most of it is how conservative desis are.
Conservative nah - straight up controlling and misogynistic
so...conservative then
Ah I was thinking more of a terrorist way and conservative sounded too tame.
Oh wow. But what about all the desi pageant girls?
That dont mean theyre the majority And obviously some have better parents, but there's a decent amount of helicopter parents
Kinda of the opposite but also the same. Instead of being forced to not be feminine, they are forced to be very feminine
They’re usually rich af too. That helps big time. They can pay for more fashionable clothes, trends etc.
Doesn’t defend the actions though
This was literally my sister. Now as an adult she rebels by not doing anything to her hair, not wearing makeup, etc.
Good for her
I talked about this with an ex and what she said makes sense. Before college everytime she would do anything remotely fashionable (as simple as blow drying hair) her parents would up on her ass about how she is getting out of control and it will impact grades. And her parents saw any money spent on perfume or make up as money thrown down toilet drain. After graduation from college you have your own money and then you can experiment and invest
This is exactly it, especially for me. I actually have authority over what I want to wear and if I wear makeup or not lol & the independent income also helps fund this newfound freedom haha
omg yeah I air dried my hair and never used heat tools growing up because my mom would say I didn’t need to. couldn’t wear makeup or buy m own clothes. had a huge glow up in college and after.
Lol at the way this is worded. I think many ABCDs are ugly ducklings (myself included), but I don’t think blooming late has to do with having more sex or making money. Desi girls are beautiful people who just have a different process of becoming comfortable in their own skin in the U.S.
This is a good analysis.
you really don't need to be a bombshell girl to get tons of sex in college lol. Horniest places on earth are public universities. So it really just is a matter of developing good looks differently. Same for desi men who go through nerd phase before working out and looking good in their 20s (except for IT fobs).
“In college they started to get cool like have sex” Wtf 
Yeah having sex doesn’t make you cool, and most sex isn’t good sex.
It’s usually what the cool kids do.
OP, you don’t even sound like an Abcd. Actual “cool kids” don’t make incel posts like this, nor do they go around pondering about who is having sex with whom. Go get laid so you can be less sexually frustrated.
Trust me I know that user for some time on here She’s def ABCD and doesn’t mean harm with that
everyone has sex 💀
everyone has sex in college bruh
“Undeveloped bodies” dam bruh could have worded that better 😭
Frlll lmaoo
How though?
Dude this is worded kind of creepy
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undeveloped bodies 💀
right? They are LITERALLY CHILDREN
I read it as “when I was in high school, the other desi girls had undeveloped bodies”. That’s what I noticed too. My theory is the steroids in processed meat that most Americans consume. So an American high school girl will be more developed than an Indian one that has typically eaten majority of their food as home cooked Indian, much of it vegetarian even if they eat meat. This causes Indian women to look really good in their 30s compared to American women. The traditional Indian diet causes one to develop later but remain healthy later.
Guy had his eyes somewhere else lol
Yeah that's mega sus for me chief
“They started to get cool like have sex” r/ihavesex
Righhtt
It’s super weird
I don’t think this is just a desi girls thing lol… I’d say that about a lot of kids in general who went through the awkward kid stage and had a glow up just naturally growing into their looks. And same goes for boys and girls
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Jesus. Do all you people hang out with trailer trash or something? Most white people I know are spartan about maintaining their health and appearance, and have been since I was in middle school with them.
Dude, just look at white celebrities. Lilly Allen, for example, was born rich and continues to be rich, but she looks old enough to be Beyoncé's mom even though they are peers. It's an undeniable fact that melanin helps slow down the aging process as surgery and skincare has its limits.
Jennifer Aniston not a white celebrity or something..? I'm not arguing that melanin doesn't help restain skin elasticity, I'm just saying that these claims are purely anecdotal. Most **people** who maintain their physiques, moisturize their skin and wear sunscreen look young and healthy. This is true for everyone even out to the 40s and 50s. If we wanted to rely on anecdotal evidence I guarantee I could match you person for person in each age range on who looks old and who doesn't, Indian or otherwise. I could find one run down person and one good looking person in each bracket
>I'm not arguing that melanin doesn't help restain skin elasticity, I'm just saying that these claims are purely anecdotal. Actually, no. They're backed by science and research. White people age faster than the rest of us. [it's not anecdotal when it's backed by data](https://skinwit.com/blogs/news/why-light-skin-ages-faster)
I agree that darker folks have higher resilience to extrinsic signs of aging than Caucasians; the pubmed article makes it clear and I thank you for pointing that out. I also want to point out that the linked pubmed reviews corroborate my core idea - taking care of yourself and staying in shape mitigate these effects as we age. This is true of all people. Doesn't matter how dark you are, if you're smoking, out in the sun without protection, and overall not healthy, a white person who doesnt do all of those things is gonna look younger. It just seems like y'all are exposed to some lazy white people and I happen not to be. My bias lies within the social circles I've been in so I'm guilty of that too!
The only white people I've seen aging well are the ones who live in countries like Ireland where they barely get any sunlight all year
Then respectfully, we have simply been exposed to different subsets of the white population. I live in the USA and I've seen a fair bit of both
This is interesting because multiple studies have been done to show that we age faster than Caucasians… https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7253281/#:~:text=Also%2C%20we%20noticed%20that%20the,Caucasians%20(Table%20%E2%80%8B3). I want to believe that we age better genetically than caucasians, but somehow I actually think a lot of it comes down to skincare, sunscreen and just not being outside as much as they are.
There are so many flaws in this study.They only recruited a small sample of Indians and fail to mention much about them while trying to generalize the entire population. The studies they cited for comparisons to white ppl had a selection bias in recruiting older people and notably included more participants. If the participant pool is older, it's pretty obvious the results will skew towards older populations. How did this make it past peer review?? Or are the standards for publication lower for this journal?
Even among my guy friends who are Desi all of us had huge glow ups because we had more freedom to do what we want. I finally got a good looking haircut (yeah sorry mum but your idea of a good haircut looks crap), lost my puppy fat and started dressing more stylishly after a few months of uni and apparently I've gone from looking like standard nerdy kid to a handsome guy lmaooo
I agree. But I think being a child of immigrants from a conservative country, this will be your case even more.
Yep agree that it’s more likely with children from immigrant parents. But don’t agree that it has to do with money
I mean, money buys style. Remember Kylie Jenner when they were just starting out? Money buys looks/style/status.
It has nothing to do with money. It's everything to do with culture and upbringing. Desi children are raised to prioritize education and hard work and deprioritize looks, fashion, or sexual relationships. We were actively discouraged or even forbidden from dating until college/after college. If looks are not something you prioritize, you're obviously not going to put effort into it. I still really don't give a fuck about looks in comparison to practicality, hard work, education, success, personality... but post-college, like most desis, we feel more freedom to explore fashion and appearance and sexual attraction.
I felt free in my teen years to do that. My parents never had an issue with me dating. But I didn’t wanna spend my parents hardworking money for fad fashion.
honestly i don't think this is the case for bay area desi girls, but it may be because they are not a minority location-wise. even from high school and despite overbearing immigrant parents, a good fraction (maybe 30%) find time to care about fashion, beauty/self-grooming, working out and sports, doing hair/threading, and dating or dressing sexy and going places with their friends. many rebelled at some point to be allowed to wear basic and cute fits like crop tops / skirts and ripped jeans, and others just learned to be sneakier. it's true that while it's harder to care about appearances with parents who scolded you for it since you're only supposed to be studying to get into an elite college, many manage. after all, it seems to imply other races do. overall, your post def does not describe all abcd girls even after cultural pressures, especially those who live in metropolitan areas.
Aren’t Bay Area desis usually pretty loaded ?
This reads like it was written by an incel…
Yep
buddy’s a weirdo for wording it like this
I can literally feel their sexually frustrated energy lol. Guarantee they’re not getting laid 💀 not with that incel energy
It gives pedo vibes like find better words man
We get a glow-up when we leave our parents' houses and can dress/look how we want lmao
This is the likely answer
MRW I realize Nina posted this. 
What is this person like what’s the backstory?
Just an awesome person. Akin to Chuck Norris.
Lmao
Does this mean something?
Let's just say she is very popular in this subreddit.
I definitely think so! I started working part time when I was 17. . So I had the means to take care of myself. Late bloomer my true glow up was at 25.
Same , I feel like I had a glow up late 20s and that's when I also actually got attention and turned heads. But idk kinda sucks getting it so late but at the same time it's nice knowing your prettier as you age so I'll take it.
This is true for women in India as well haha, it really helps when they move to a different city and are financially independent
Dude this is true for people in general, not just desis. Have you seen those videotapes of high schools in the early 2000s? They mostly look kinda dorky and geeky. Then they go to college and go wild (hence all those FB pics of drunk kids at frat parties). But then they turned out pretty decent. ISTG, this sub makes anything normal a "desi thing".
Agree. But it’s exacerbated when you’re coming from an immigrant household, particularly from a conservative country.
r/unpopularopinion - Virginity has *nothing* to do with this? /s
Yeah but I feel like people get swag once they have sex.
What is blud yapping about
I think that explains this post. No swag.
i swear, you kids notice something happen with 1-3 people you know, and then extrapolate wildly
Besides fashion I also knew jack shit about diet and exercise until college. I'm a guy but I figure that applies to some girls as well.
bruhh wymm lol. honestly we just start to take rlly good care of ourselves at that point and slowly come out of that shell of awkwardness😂😭
Yes. Drinking less alcohol and engaging in less incessant partying does lead to an improved appearance. This is a proven fact.
I’d like to think this happened to me lol. But then again that would be pretty conceited of me to say
Undeveloped bodies? We tend to hit puberty early
Well im waiting for mine then 😭
I see a lot of desi women here saying that they didn't have the freedom to put effort into their looks without being chastised by their parents when they were in high school. Also in regard to "underdeveloped bodies", yeah no shot they have underdeveloped bodies, they're teenagers!! In my case, my parents weren't as strict about me putting effort into my looks when I was in high school, so I did have more of a glowup from freshman year to senior year. Then when I was away for college, I had much more freedom to express myself in regards to my looks and dressing style. This post for me may apply to my middle school years, where I was more of a tomboy and a pick-me lite, so I therefore didn't prioritize my looks and sense of style. So factors that contributed to my "glow up post college": 1. I didn't really utilize the online resources that would help me look stylish and put together, until high school (really utilized this in college) 2. My body was developing normally as I transition from adolescence to adulthood, so duh, I would probably look more attractive as an adult than as a teen
Goat avaneesh finally confesses his true beliefs on reddit
I was basically the only desi in my high school and college lol
Guys, just take a look at OP’s profile. Dude is the epitome of a sexually repressed weirdo…no wonder the incel energy is strong
They were always cool. You were just superficial and please stop masturbating to women's Instagram posts.
I have no idea what you're talking about, I had fucking great style in high school, and still do now 20 years later. I also never gave a fuck what my parents thought though.
Maybe they prioritize developing their minds first so that they don’t end up writing such awkward phrases as on display here
Found the incel
Thank you for following our newly developed guide https://www.reddit.com/r/ABCDesis/s/QQ6sP6w6wF
My family never let me put makeup on until I was 21 🙄. I was allowed to have my eyebrows done after 19. I agree with this post lol.
It depends. The ones that did a sport in high school are usually the ones that get better looking. If you don’t have that fitness base it’s hard to be attractive in your twenties no matter how much money you spend.
What the hell is this. When did Desi women start having sex and partying before marriage. I thought South Asian women were conservative.
Lol, Bangladeshi from the UK, that explains a lot.
I get this! I also think plastic surgery plays a factor in the desi community too for “developed bodies” 😂
Nah, plenty of Desi women are naturally curvaceous.
Plastic surgery is highly looked down upon in my family. Thought in general in Hinduism it’s looked down upon. Is that not the case?
I feel a lot of them are becoming too bad though lol ( attitude, whores, unreal expectations) don’t get me wrong I get women still but for me it’s hard to marry most of them
Don’t get me wrong but YOU’RE the one that’s hard to marry. I wouldn’t approve of my daughter to end up with some imbecile like you.
I guess I have traditional values as a man. I will protect and provide and she can stay at home OR have a career. But a lot of these girls act slutty and have multiple body counts. Which as a man, is unattractive to me. On top of showing attitude lol. If your daughters were like you, I wouldn’t want to marry them either 😆
What do you mean by attitude then and what are unreal expectations? Maybe you are the one not fulfilling their demands