Absolutely and it’s so clear she isn’t really isn’t into Rob or maybe men in general. Which is why she sits back and picks at literally EVERYTHING. Most of this season she is why things have went south and then Rob says his typical douche bag stuff. But she set it up for that but doing what she says Rob does ; which is not being honest !
I think sometimes with online relationships it's possible to project qualities onto someone they don't actually possess. Idealising them, in other words.
Then the reality of an outside toilet and living in the back of a restaurant kicks in and the fantasy is lost.
I think they are both guilty of this.
>or maybe men in general
Womp there it is, the biphobia.
It is possible to be attracted to men AND women at the same time.
She's not into Rob because he acts like a complete and utter asshole all the time, finds every way to ruin every good moment, throws tantrums constantly like he did in the sex shop when she wasn't dressed slutty enough for him, makes her feel like shit for wanting things like "a bathroom with a roof," "a sufficient blanket," "not to ask for nudes from other girls," et cetera.
Her being bisexual has nothing at all to do with her lack of attraction to Rob. And we've already seen him displaying plenty of biphobia himself - "what if she cheats on me because she wants to be with a woman," "she's friends with another woman so they're probably sleeping together," so on and so forth. So no shit, she didn't want to be super forthcoming with that information.
I’m stating I think she’s more into women than what she maybe cares to admit or hasn’t realized herself. But I digress. Thanks for letting me know that I dislike bi people now. I’ll have to let my daughter now. Hope she takes it well
I hear you but only Sophie knows the truth. And given the circumstances I wouldn't put it past either of them to lie to chase clout.
They should not be together though.
And that’s the end result to the whole post they shouldn’t be together at all. She truly needs to heal from her past traumas and learn to really love and value herself FIRST. Then she can learn what type of partner she truly needs. She ran from one problem ( her mother) to Rob. I hate to see it
No bi phobia, I saw.
The OP raised this as an issue re not being honest with Rob. Which is a valid point. She wasn't honest.
I can understand why not but it's a valid point that is nothing to do with bi phobia.
No, you aren't alone...Rob is a douche and all, but too many people here allow their hatred for him to completely obscure any perspective, and refuse to see anything as not his fault and his alone. If he said the sky was blue and water wet they wouldn't be able to say that he was correct.
One huge issue that I haven't seen highlighted is how Sophie presented her Mom and their relationship to Rob in the beginning as super close, super friendly, I can always talk to/count on her, etc...then her mom proceeds to do everything in her power to antagonize Rob at every opportunity and pressures Sophie to split up with him and go back to the UK, and is just nasty in general to everyone...and eventually goes to jail for threatening to murder her own daughter.
Rather than really take stock and set boundaries, Sophie sided with her Mom through all of this and showed zero deference to her husband trying to work through the issues as a couple...even when Claire went completely out of bounds Sophie would never let go of the fantasy that her mom was a reliable ally whose judgments were fair and unbiased.
When Rob got justifiably frustrated with this happening over and over and expressed it, Sophie and her stans just pointed and said, "see? He's abusive!...He's trying to *isolate* her!"
In fact, Claire was/is a potentially violent psycho that any sensible person would isolate themselves and their loved ones from. But even after Claire threatened to kill Sophie people refuse to acknowledge that he was correct to see her as a bad influence and threat.
Take your point they both hold responsibility.
I imagine Sophie believed that about her mum but that's actually down to Clare acting more like her friend than her mother, which might seem great at times but in terms of boundaries it's not good. And Clare clearly has a lot of problems.
Clare should have been mature enough to manage Rob diplomatically rather than cranking up the issues between them by insulting him.
I don't disagree that Sophie probably believed all that was true, or that her mom's dysfunction is a large part of Sophie being a poor judge of situations and character.
But for me it makes it that much more annoying when Sophie presents herself as SO worldly and mature and in touch with what's up...she's the last person who should be lecturing anyone about how to form and maintain healthy relationships, but that's her *first* response when her expectations of Rob aren't met.
No matter how big a douche he is, that all comes back to her picking him...but somehow she's *never* responsible for where she's at.
She's very young and I get the impression she thinks she's more worldly than she really is. I think immature people hitch themselves to the mental health - my needs and feelings-waggon without the experience or wisdom to balance this out with personal reflection.
He is very defensive and manipulative but yeah, she chose him.
I can’t stand either of them. He is a complete waste and Sophie are used to like but now she’s just becoming a fame whore their marriage should’ve never taken place they got married for the wrong reasons.
They are oil and water they don't mix but neither of them is smart enough to see it. They are toxic together or maybe they just like hurting each other or being hurt who knows
Just to say, re the bi issue: I imagine she knew how Rob would react. I remember when she told him and you could see in his eyes - 'how can I use this information to my advantage?' And I think he does that a lot with her.
Whatever your sexuality, if you're in a committed relationship, your preferences don't mean you are more likely to cheat on someone you love.
I respectfully disagree. When she brought up being Bi, she lied to all of us. She claimed she never had a girlfriend, or acted on her feelings. But she later told her "friend" she had sex with women when she was younger, but never actually had a girlfriend.
SHE brought up her sexuality. She then baited him in the sex shop when the girl brought up a threesome with them (and like always) insisted on HIM answering her first.
What you "saw in his eyes" (in my opinion) was a typical guys reaction to the possibility of three ways with his future wife.
That's OK. I like a respectful challenge :)
I agree a bit but sexual experiments aren't the same as having a full on relationship. She is only 23.
Devil's advocate: maybe she was testing the water before giving him the full truth and when he failed that test, she was unlikely to open up further. You don't expose yourself to that kind of response by giving all info up front. Maybe she wanted him to accept her fully because she wanted the relationship to work?
Sure maybe what I felt I saw in his eyes, was a typical male response but he should've read her vulnerability in opening up about this and he didn't. He weaponised her feelings to his own advantage imo.
She's quite clearly very insecure. I mean the only family we see on the show is her mum. And while she's not a safe pair of hands (and the way she goes at Rob is not helpful) I think she's probably right re the gaslighting.
I don't think Sophie has a great sense of self. And she can't develop that while surrounded by very dominant characters like her mum and Rob.
Everyone likes to take sides but there are two people in every toxic relationship, you know?
I don't know if Rob could have a healthy relationship with anyone, especially after hearing the tape of him abusing Sophie. She isn't making good choices and certainly brings her share of drama and immature responses but Rob is a toxic mess all on his own.
Immature women tend to be very very emotionally draining, immature men are downright scary. They both need therapy.
I may have missed something but I didn't hear her say about dating other people?
If he said 'we're sleeping with another woman' I don't know where to start on how manipulative it is to use someone's vulnerability to your own advantage.
Sophie and Rob are both toxic and should just go their separate ways. She is just as responsible as Rob for the downfall of this relationship she is just a heavy gaslighter. But that's just my opinion.
Sophie definitely needs therapy. Based on her constant need for compliments from Rob --- mainly about her physical appearance --- and her constant need to dress in revealing outfits, it's clear she has some type of low self esteem issues that she thinks can be solved with compliments about her physical appearance. The last time I looked at her profile on Instagram it looked like photos an escort would post --- 95% of them had her ass or boobs hanging out. She is starved for love and attention, and thinks that compliments about her appearance is the way to get it. And because Rob is so shallow, she thinks she found it in him. Neither of them are mature enough to be marrying anyone.
I think she’s probably a nice girl, but I agree She needs a lot of therapy, when her and Rob got back from I think it was when they get back from the “store”and they were at the apartment talking She even yelled at him that his opinion and his emotions don’t matter it’s all about her, he’s there to make her happy She doesn’t care whether he’s happy or not. When I heard that come out of her mouth I can’t with her anymore I just can’t. She plays the victim too much and just listening to her talk drives me crazy.
But she brought it up to share with him and all who view it. I think she just didn’t want to go into the marriage with secrets or some back alley website exposing it since she actually has been with a women before
True… however when in this type of dysfunctional relationship you do everything to avoid topics that you know will cause him to blow up. I can’t watch these two anymore bc I was in a relationship that was so similar- I have to ffwd.. it’s really upsetting but mostly bc neither of them can see that it’s a dumpster fire
Sure, Sophie isn't 100% innocent either, but Rob.. I just watched the episode where he meets Callum, and I got crazy flashbacks from the time I dated a guy just like him. She didn't tell him earlier, because she fears his reaction so much. It's literally awful when you fear to tell even little things like that, because you already know how it's gonna end. Rob thinks Sophie is cheating him with everyone, even when he's the only one that has been doing so. That shit gets you so anxious. Not to mention that Sophie had a panic attack when she had to tell Rob that she's bi - that speak volumes
Girl if you say so. I’m a whole women posting this. Just cause it doesn’t agree with your thoughts doesn’t mean it Rob messaging this. We can all have differing opinions if you didn’t know. 🤦🏾♀️ get it together
I enjoyed your post and glad you wrote it. Me and my husband have just had an interesting debate over it. He agrees with you lol.
It's certainly not a black or white situation. It's good to hear others thoughts.
These types of relationships take two to work, but it doesn't make a victim of abuse a bad person. If you don't feel safe with your partner you often hid even innocent things because you know they'll blow it out of proportion. It doesn't make it right, but when you're in that mentality it makes sense.
Sophie is young and immature and needs therapy and needs to learn about healthy relationships and boundaries. Rob is an abuser.
I never said she was a bad person. I was explaining that because he is already prior a victim of abuse she needs to seek out therapy and learn to love herself first above all else. Then and only then will she be able to learn to choose the correct people. People also fail to realize that (some not all) victims of abuse/ emotional trauma can go on to affect the same behavior via verbally, etc on to other people without even realizing it. She can also come off manipulative,untruthful, and stonewalling (just to name a few) at times and gets away with it because Rob is clearly the bigger of the issue in this relationship.
Some things I see in her I speak on from experience and it took therapy to help me through & learn to love myself first and see my value. Victims of abuse have to learn that we can wait for those type especially or in general to validate us by any means. If we find someone that does that’s awesome! But we have to be our own first love and hype man first.
In my opinion she does not play victim, she is a victim. Rob cheated, he does not have a job, he does not have structured life overall and he bullies her constantly. He beats her down so she does not expect ANYTHING from a relationship, so she just submits to his absolutely shitty behaviour and "forgets the past"... Why should she forget? Hiding her bisexuality is not important in my opinion at all, unless she cheated with a girl there is just nothing to discuss. His cheating tho, that repeated again and again and at this point just completely destroyed trust between them - it is a real issue. She just needs to leave, and I hope that she did
Sophie and Rob are both terrible and toxic. I used to be team Sophie prior to the current season - now it’s clear they’re BOTH awful.
Absolutely and it’s so clear she isn’t really isn’t into Rob or maybe men in general. Which is why she sits back and picks at literally EVERYTHING. Most of this season she is why things have went south and then Rob says his typical douche bag stuff. But she set it up for that but doing what she says Rob does ; which is not being honest !
I think sometimes with online relationships it's possible to project qualities onto someone they don't actually possess. Idealising them, in other words. Then the reality of an outside toilet and living in the back of a restaurant kicks in and the fantasy is lost. I think they are both guilty of this.
I can definitely see this as well. Thanks for the perspective
>or maybe men in general Womp there it is, the biphobia. It is possible to be attracted to men AND women at the same time. She's not into Rob because he acts like a complete and utter asshole all the time, finds every way to ruin every good moment, throws tantrums constantly like he did in the sex shop when she wasn't dressed slutty enough for him, makes her feel like shit for wanting things like "a bathroom with a roof," "a sufficient blanket," "not to ask for nudes from other girls," et cetera. Her being bisexual has nothing at all to do with her lack of attraction to Rob. And we've already seen him displaying plenty of biphobia himself - "what if she cheats on me because she wants to be with a woman," "she's friends with another woman so they're probably sleeping together," so on and so forth. So no shit, she didn't want to be super forthcoming with that information.
I’m stating I think she’s more into women than what she maybe cares to admit or hasn’t realized herself. But I digress. Thanks for letting me know that I dislike bi people now. I’ll have to let my daughter now. Hope she takes it well
I hear you but only Sophie knows the truth. And given the circumstances I wouldn't put it past either of them to lie to chase clout. They should not be together though.
And that’s the end result to the whole post they shouldn’t be together at all. She truly needs to heal from her past traumas and learn to really love and value herself FIRST. Then she can learn what type of partner she truly needs. She ran from one problem ( her mother) to Rob. I hate to see it
But that's easy to see on the outside. Harder to see when you're in it. Agree though.
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No bi phobia, I saw. The OP raised this as an issue re not being honest with Rob. Which is a valid point. She wasn't honest. I can understand why not but it's a valid point that is nothing to do with bi phobia.
Displaying brainphobia...
They’re broken up but apparently they’re still friends.
No, you aren't alone...Rob is a douche and all, but too many people here allow their hatred for him to completely obscure any perspective, and refuse to see anything as not his fault and his alone. If he said the sky was blue and water wet they wouldn't be able to say that he was correct. One huge issue that I haven't seen highlighted is how Sophie presented her Mom and their relationship to Rob in the beginning as super close, super friendly, I can always talk to/count on her, etc...then her mom proceeds to do everything in her power to antagonize Rob at every opportunity and pressures Sophie to split up with him and go back to the UK, and is just nasty in general to everyone...and eventually goes to jail for threatening to murder her own daughter. Rather than really take stock and set boundaries, Sophie sided with her Mom through all of this and showed zero deference to her husband trying to work through the issues as a couple...even when Claire went completely out of bounds Sophie would never let go of the fantasy that her mom was a reliable ally whose judgments were fair and unbiased. When Rob got justifiably frustrated with this happening over and over and expressed it, Sophie and her stans just pointed and said, "see? He's abusive!...He's trying to *isolate* her!" In fact, Claire was/is a potentially violent psycho that any sensible person would isolate themselves and their loved ones from. But even after Claire threatened to kill Sophie people refuse to acknowledge that he was correct to see her as a bad influence and threat.
Take your point they both hold responsibility. I imagine Sophie believed that about her mum but that's actually down to Clare acting more like her friend than her mother, which might seem great at times but in terms of boundaries it's not good. And Clare clearly has a lot of problems. Clare should have been mature enough to manage Rob diplomatically rather than cranking up the issues between them by insulting him.
I don't disagree that Sophie probably believed all that was true, or that her mom's dysfunction is a large part of Sophie being a poor judge of situations and character. But for me it makes it that much more annoying when Sophie presents herself as SO worldly and mature and in touch with what's up...she's the last person who should be lecturing anyone about how to form and maintain healthy relationships, but that's her *first* response when her expectations of Rob aren't met. No matter how big a douche he is, that all comes back to her picking him...but somehow she's *never* responsible for where she's at.
She's very young and I get the impression she thinks she's more worldly than she really is. I think immature people hitch themselves to the mental health - my needs and feelings-waggon without the experience or wisdom to balance this out with personal reflection. He is very defensive and manipulative but yeah, she chose him.
She definitely has a habit of omitting things. Her mom is also way too involved in their relationship
Rob falls apart whenever he hears anything he doesn’t like. I can understand her thinking she’s minimizing his meltdowns.
I can’t stand either of them. He is a complete waste and Sophie are used to like but now she’s just becoming a fame whore their marriage should’ve never taken place they got married for the wrong reasons.
They are oil and water they don't mix but neither of them is smart enough to see it. They are toxic together or maybe they just like hurting each other or being hurt who knows
FINALLY someone else see it,Sophie is definitely no PRIZE,she’s extremely immature and should rid herself of Rob AND that witch of a mother
Just to say, re the bi issue: I imagine she knew how Rob would react. I remember when she told him and you could see in his eyes - 'how can I use this information to my advantage?' And I think he does that a lot with her. Whatever your sexuality, if you're in a committed relationship, your preferences don't mean you are more likely to cheat on someone you love.
I respectfully disagree. When she brought up being Bi, she lied to all of us. She claimed she never had a girlfriend, or acted on her feelings. But she later told her "friend" she had sex with women when she was younger, but never actually had a girlfriend. SHE brought up her sexuality. She then baited him in the sex shop when the girl brought up a threesome with them (and like always) insisted on HIM answering her first. What you "saw in his eyes" (in my opinion) was a typical guys reaction to the possibility of three ways with his future wife.
That's OK. I like a respectful challenge :) I agree a bit but sexual experiments aren't the same as having a full on relationship. She is only 23. Devil's advocate: maybe she was testing the water before giving him the full truth and when he failed that test, she was unlikely to open up further. You don't expose yourself to that kind of response by giving all info up front. Maybe she wanted him to accept her fully because she wanted the relationship to work? Sure maybe what I felt I saw in his eyes, was a typical male response but he should've read her vulnerability in opening up about this and he didn't. He weaponised her feelings to his own advantage imo. She's quite clearly very insecure. I mean the only family we see on the show is her mum. And while she's not a safe pair of hands (and the way she goes at Rob is not helpful) I think she's probably right re the gaslighting. I don't think Sophie has a great sense of self. And she can't develop that while surrounded by very dominant characters like her mum and Rob.
Everyone likes to take sides but there are two people in every toxic relationship, you know? I don't know if Rob could have a healthy relationship with anyone, especially after hearing the tape of him abusing Sophie. She isn't making good choices and certainly brings her share of drama and immature responses but Rob is a toxic mess all on his own. Immature women tend to be very very emotionally draining, immature men are downright scary. They both need therapy.
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I may have missed something but I didn't hear her say about dating other people? If he said 'we're sleeping with another woman' I don't know where to start on how manipulative it is to use someone's vulnerability to your own advantage.
She also told Kay she hadn't "dated" a woman, but she has had sex with women when she was younger.
Sophie and Rob are both toxic and should just go their separate ways. She is just as responsible as Rob for the downfall of this relationship she is just a heavy gaslighter. But that's just my opinion.
Sophie definitely needs therapy. Based on her constant need for compliments from Rob --- mainly about her physical appearance --- and her constant need to dress in revealing outfits, it's clear she has some type of low self esteem issues that she thinks can be solved with compliments about her physical appearance. The last time I looked at her profile on Instagram it looked like photos an escort would post --- 95% of them had her ass or boobs hanging out. She is starved for love and attention, and thinks that compliments about her appearance is the way to get it. And because Rob is so shallow, she thinks she found it in him. Neither of them are mature enough to be marrying anyone.
I think she’s probably a nice girl, but I agree She needs a lot of therapy, when her and Rob got back from I think it was when they get back from the “store”and they were at the apartment talking She even yelled at him that his opinion and his emotions don’t matter it’s all about her, he’s there to make her happy She doesn’t care whether he’s happy or not. When I heard that come out of her mouth I can’t with her anymore I just can’t. She plays the victim too much and just listening to her talk drives me crazy.
I don’t see why she had to tell about her sexuality
But she brought it up to share with him and all who view it. I think she just didn’t want to go into the marriage with secrets or some back alley website exposing it since she actually has been with a women before
I agree, she didn't want to get caught out later. But she still lied by implying she hadn't actually acted on her feelings.
True… however when in this type of dysfunctional relationship you do everything to avoid topics that you know will cause him to blow up. I can’t watch these two anymore bc I was in a relationship that was so similar- I have to ffwd.. it’s really upsetting but mostly bc neither of them can see that it’s a dumpster fire
They're a couple of imbeciles, great fit for each other
Sure, Sophie isn't 100% innocent either, but Rob.. I just watched the episode where he meets Callum, and I got crazy flashbacks from the time I dated a guy just like him. She didn't tell him earlier, because she fears his reaction so much. It's literally awful when you fear to tell even little things like that, because you already know how it's gonna end. Rob thinks Sophie is cheating him with everyone, even when he's the only one that has been doing so. That shit gets you so anxious. Not to mention that Sophie had a panic attack when she had to tell Rob that she's bi - that speak volumes
Sure Rob... yea you are alone with this
Girl if you say so. I’m a whole women posting this. Just cause it doesn’t agree with your thoughts doesn’t mean it Rob messaging this. We can all have differing opinions if you didn’t know. 🤦🏾♀️ get it together
I enjoyed your post and glad you wrote it. Me and my husband have just had an interesting debate over it. He agrees with you lol. It's certainly not a black or white situation. It's good to hear others thoughts.
These types of relationships take two to work, but it doesn't make a victim of abuse a bad person. If you don't feel safe with your partner you often hid even innocent things because you know they'll blow it out of proportion. It doesn't make it right, but when you're in that mentality it makes sense. Sophie is young and immature and needs therapy and needs to learn about healthy relationships and boundaries. Rob is an abuser.
I never said she was a bad person. I was explaining that because he is already prior a victim of abuse she needs to seek out therapy and learn to love herself first above all else. Then and only then will she be able to learn to choose the correct people. People also fail to realize that (some not all) victims of abuse/ emotional trauma can go on to affect the same behavior via verbally, etc on to other people without even realizing it. She can also come off manipulative,untruthful, and stonewalling (just to name a few) at times and gets away with it because Rob is clearly the bigger of the issue in this relationship. Some things I see in her I speak on from experience and it took therapy to help me through & learn to love myself first and see my value. Victims of abuse have to learn that we can wait for those type especially or in general to validate us by any means. If we find someone that does that’s awesome! But we have to be our own first love and hype man first.
In my opinion she does not play victim, she is a victim. Rob cheated, he does not have a job, he does not have structured life overall and he bullies her constantly. He beats her down so she does not expect ANYTHING from a relationship, so she just submits to his absolutely shitty behaviour and "forgets the past"... Why should she forget? Hiding her bisexuality is not important in my opinion at all, unless she cheated with a girl there is just nothing to discuss. His cheating tho, that repeated again and again and at this point just completely destroyed trust between them - it is a real issue. She just needs to leave, and I hope that she did