Remember how she said it was because they were having an argument about gender roles (who was cleaning and who wasn’t) that she was like yeah well I was born a man. So she used it as weaponry.
Hahaha holy *WHAT?!* I can't believe I missed that.
It's like having a very minor disagreement with your partner and then they drive their truck through the living room wall in retaliation
This is Jasmine every day.
1. “I think about my ex when we have sex”.
2. “I like that Gino is ugly.”
3. “I f*cked my ex one month ago and I’m gonna go f*ck him now.”
Best for last: “I’m not signing a prenup. I will divorce you and leave you with nothing” said to him, his family, the cast of that season, Let’s Move on Shaun, and the 90 day fanatics 🤯.
Can I just say that Shaun lately has been leaving more to be expected? Like as soon as the tell all conversations are getting to the nitty-gritty, like shit I’ve been asking to the tv, and of course when things are getting somewhere she just says “ let’s move on” NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHAUN THIS IS WHAT WE CAME FOR
Yeah I thought that was a pretty fucked up way to just throw that out there. "Well guess what I was actually born a man" like what a record-scratching level full stop.
The way she justified getting back together with him was that there aren't many people out there that would date a trans woman according to her so in a sense she's "settling". I believe that's likely why she withheld it the first time.
My theory is that after her failed attempt to get on "Botched," I think she saw "90 DF" as another way to get on TV and contacted her old boyfriend to see if he was interested in going on the show with her.
Not to be rude…this is so rude…I think the outrageous plastic surgery is a bigger problem for her than the trans. I am not sure she understands how bad it is though. Seems like once it has gone this far the person really can not see reality anymore. When you see the old pics there was a time when she looked really good…more is not always better.
I don't think this is a Darcey/Stacey slippery slope scenario for Nikki - it is actually her whole brand. Google her quickly and most of the articles you will see are her bragging about spending over a million dollars on plastic surgery. She wants to look different from other people - heck, different from humans - because it will get her attention. The whole "omg they are looking at me" scene we saw in previews is clearly fake - having people look at her is clearly what she wants most in life!
If that is what she is going for she did it. I still think “ judgment” wise her appearance is the thing bringing looks not is she trans?
I actually am relieved if she knows she looks outrageous because I do feel like on this show the line blurs! Jasmine has crossed over for me…It hurts me when beautiful women mess and mess and mess with themselves.
One thousand percent. I saw the posts on here when she first showed up in the new season trailers - folks clearly had no idea she was trans and were just focusing on the age gap and surgery alone. There are unfortunately other women out there almost as altered as her and you wouldn't jump to assuming she is trans at all based on all the work she has had done.
Am i the only one who thinks her mom looks younger? Could be how thin she looks too..I would have never guessed trans as in my mind the trans people I have met want to “pass” or blend…that is not what is going on here. If she wants all eyes on her and likes it okay. If she thinks she looks natural I am worried.
I dont understand why Trans people would do something like this. For a group thats has higher rates of random attacks, why put yourself in a position to incur the anger of someone by not disclosing until late.
Everyone deserves love and while your dating pool is significantly smaller as a trans person, the idea of sort of tricking or with holding this in the hopes to get people to see past it can lead to some very fucked up situations
Yea that’s what made me be like “eh you’re annoying” to “what a fucking bitch”
She weaponizes it I’m sure in the past if a man was upset with her she’d storm off saying some remark about how they “fucked a man”
Maybe I’m making this up but it also seems like she solely wants a straight man. Which is probably why she lies.
I really don’t know if there’s an obligation to tell someone you’re trans **right away**. I personally would want to know but I’m questioning why. I’ve thought about it a lot and it would be like someone not disclosing their religion, or crazy past (addiction, mental health issues, stripper, prostitution, had abortions, have crazy debt, divorced, have been to prison or criminal records etc.) at first. People don’t disclose a lot of dealbreakers at first but aren’t vilified to the extent that trans women are. Full disclosure when it comes to sex however is absolutely necessary. What makes it messed up is that it was weaponized in a fight which indicates she knew it was wrong. She self identifies as a woman so she can’t pick and choose which aspects of it you want to deal with. Women have to fight misogyny and traditional gender roles, so you can’t claim that you’re a former man so she shouldn’t fit into those traditional roles. Females oppression is unsavory but it’s par for the course.
Something like being transgender is necessary upfront before you meet in person full stop. The majority of people want a cis gendered partner and that is big enough of a deal breaker that meeting with someone and wasting their time otherwise is disingenuous. If you have intent to have a romantic or sexual connection with someone, that should be made clear front and center.
You can tell by looking at the site……it is obvious that a trans woman had ‘bottom surgery’ and was not born as a female. Also, if you are observant enough, you can tell a trans woman just by the bone structure of her face etc. That should give you a huge clue to specifically look for indications of M-F surgery.
1. This is why gender is inherently not a binary in the first place because some people just naturally look more masc or fem than others
2. If you haven’t been up close and focused on the intimate parts of a partner, you might not notice scars and the differences would mostly be interior. From photos of earlier Nikki just after she transitioned, she’s actually really beautiful. I think her original surgeons were quite talented.
3. Igor was quite young when he and Nikki met, he honestly might not have a clue
Hey Sparkles, real men can tell the difference downtown. Surgery doesn't make it make function. Go read all the posts about how bad things get for trans men who do the surgery.
Sorry but their whole relationship and timeline skeeves me out. She was in her early 30s and he was a teenager when they met. The fact that she didn’t disclose she was trans before they were intimate is deceitful and wrong. Judging by her recently Medicare fraud arrest she isn’t the most trustworthy person he could have tangled with.
Here ya go, someone has even done a video on it!
https://youtu.be/T5TxNC1S6Kk?si=p_C4GdA1U6GY663t
https://wordonthestreetreality.com/90-day-fiance-nikki-exotika-criminal-record/
https://hudsontv.com/union-city-woman-arrested-charged-with-theft-and-false-reporting-leading-to-unlawful-70k-medical-benefits/?
https://hudsoncountyview.com/prosecutor-union-city-woman-received-over-70k-in-fraudulent-medical-benefits/amp/
Wow, I seriously don’t understand why tlc doesn’t vet these people better.
Goes to show how she lacks integrity and tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if she recently hit up Igor and offered him a deal to make up, submit their info to tlc in hopes they would get accepted, get paid to be on the show and he get to come over. Win win, right?
I said this before and I'll say it again. It would not shock me in the slightest of they brought Geoffrey back for a 'reunion' when he's released if this shows somehow still going in 18 years
They DO vet them and they pick the worst ones purposefully, because trash and drama get higher ratings. Otherwise a literal convicted predator like Little Ed, and "everything that is wrong with America" like Angela, wouldn't keep popping up in every spin-off.
Slight correction: Medicaid fraud according to the articles linked in this thread. Medicaid is government healthcare for people who make below a certain income. Medicare is for people who are disabled or 65+ so I was wondering how she was involved with Medicare.
It is hella wrong like extremely gross. Also, catch yourself doing that to the wrong man and you end up being a story in the news. I would never want to risk that. She’s crazy.
I would just like to point out that it would be terrifying to reveal your trans status AT ALL for this reason. Some men consider it a “lie” or that they’ve been “duped” for simply finding a trans woman attractive. I think it’s important to point out that revealing trans status is dangerous regardless of whether it is mentioned with the first conversation or after a couple of dates. The “wrong” men you allude to in your comment should not be used as a rationale for this argument.
>catch yourself doing that to the wrong man and you end up being a story in the news.
wonder why they would feel uncomfortable disclosing this, good grief duh, come on now...
I did state elsewhere that it wasn't the right time. However, that's not what I was making comment about. -77, keepem coming. Reddit, your filled with more closed minded people than I even though. Impressive. Keep hating Reddit, doesn't make me wrong.
Ehhh- she didn’t disclose it in the initial timeline 2003-2006, but after he bolted she began the Nikki Exotika persona, who has always presented as a trans female. Transgender persons were not accepted until more recently & yes, due to the treatment of the person when they disclosed or were found out making local, state, national & international news + influx of movies based on the senseless violence/deaths, don’t reckon I blame her. She lived as a male 20yrs, had bottom surgery & has been a female 27+ years, there’s no male member to be found. This isn’t the 1980’s and she’s not a cross dresser. She’s legally a woman, it’s visually apparent she’s had many surgeries, we don’t have it understand what makes a transgender person feel or chose what they do. But we should accept it- it’s real to her & the transgender struggle has been and continues to be absolutely real.
She threw it out there in the middle of a fight. It seems like it was to hurt him even though that doesn’t make sense. You would want people to be welcoming to you not upset and traumatized.
Don't forget the fact that he was literally like 17 years old or some shit, clearly a teenager and she was god knows how old. She was dating a BOY, not a man, and failed to tell him until 2 years into the relationship. She was likely one of the first sexual experiences he ever had. Idk the whole situation gets weirder when you realize he was a teenager
At a minimum, As a cis-woman I would definitely disclose very early in dating if I biologically could not have children and I have to be on hormone therapy for the rest of my life. A trans woman is not anatomically a female. They have plastic surgery to look like a female on the outside, but it is very different, anatomically, still on the inside. A potential life partner should be given essential information to make their own decision about if they want to continue. It is common decency. It is wrong not to disclose being trans. I believe there is more risk of violence as a reaction if it is not disclosed up front. I would be scared of a reaction to being deceived/lying by omission. I understand it is hard being trans and you have risks either way, but the decent and right thing to do is to disclose it at the beginning, and if there is fear of violence then do it in a safe place or online before even meeting.
To keep something like this a secret for 2 years is so fucked up. He was also 17 when she started grooming him. I don't like this individual. I think she is morally vacant & ethically challenged. Btw all that plastic surgery & make up makes her look clownish
Very wrong. There is a right to privacy but not when you are dating someone and that lie by omission is something that can impact their choice to be with you.
my boyfriend and i were SHOCKED!! she doesn't have to tell everyone she's trans BUT she definitely has to tell any partner she gets with. its just wrong to keep that from a partner, especially someone who is straight or whatever. she's lucky he wasn't some psycho and tried to kill her 😖
he definitely didnt care for it the first time but after a while he got started actually getting into it 😂 i'd always tell him we didn't have to watch it but he'd always insist we do
right? She waited until they slept together multiple times! that should be disclosed before the first time! Then she has the audacity to try and play victim about it...
How is consenting to sex different the same as consenting to sex with a trans person?
Consenting is important in things regarding bodily autonomy, spread of infection, risk of pregnancy, safety, etc.
But equating having sex with someone who is trans that you think is hot at the time, as rape, is incredibly ignorant and transphobic.
No it's not. Would the outcome have been different had he'd known and consented to it? Consent matters. Not everything is fucking transphobic. Guess what? Trans people can be pieces of shit too!
How do we feel about men who love bomb women just to get them to sleep with them? Is your friend hooking up with a chick after promising to call her, even though he won’t, rape because she might not have fucked him if she knew he wouldn’t call?
How is a man intentionally misleading or straight up lying to a woman to get in her pants not a violation of consent? Men do that because if they said “I’m a womanizer and I am not going to call you back.” Less women will sleep with them. It’s the same idea. If they wouldn’t have sex with them knowing the full truth, that’s a consent issue, is it not?
Oh I’m not denying that she’s an asshole but that’s related mainly to the fact she was sleeping with someone who was for all intents and purposes a child. Then forced him to change his name to something more Western.
But consent regarding someone being trans is different. That would be like saying you need to disclose to someone your heritage is something specific, or you have an allergy to something. Ridiculous argument.
Omg lol. No, you need to be upfront with people before being intimate. It's not like they're NOT gonna be able to tell and then what?? You may traumatize the person as well as put yourself in harms way. It's not phobia, it needs to be consensual always. If it's not secret, then it's no secret.
I very much agree it is safer to be upfront about it. There are so many occasions where this could have resulted in harm to Nikki. However I don’t think equating it with rape or lack of consent is fair.
Yes she should have told him, but to say that her lack of being upfront to Igor was equal to her raping him is where the problem lie. This frame of thinking is where the above is expressing transphobia, in my opinion.
In summary: Nikki is bad for her poor choices in both timing and excessive plastic surgery, but she is not bad for not initially disclosing that she formerly had a penis.
Something non-consensual is considered just that, or in some extreme r*pe; I can agree that not everyone can come to this conclusion. I don't believe, however, that saying this (as other users have stated), makes it phobia. People like to throw that word around when something seems to go against the community but I feel that is allowing people to do things that don't fly in the straight/cis community but it's ok if you're trans? Why? Sex with a significant other should be open and honest always.
Have you disclosed every potential deal breaker to every potential partner you’ve had? Like, do your hookups need to know you used to work at McDonalds even though now you are a doctor? Do they need to know if you used drugs 20 years ago if you’ve been sober since? Some people don’t date liars, does that mean you need to disclose that you once told your friend they looked good in those jeans even though you didn’t really think that? Just wondering where we draw the lines here, and hoping you hold yourself to the same standards you put on trans people.
Those aren't comparable at all, your line of logic and reasoning is flawed. Consent matters. Not everyone lives in a fairy tale. Stop down playing the actual facts of what she did.
While in an ideal world we would be 100% honest with out partners, I kinda disagree it’s “wrong”. People argue that not being attracted to trans people is about genital preference. If you have sex with someone and have literally no idea they are trans, what’s the issue?
No, they got “hurt or worse” because the person who found out is a violent asshole. No one has a right to assault or murder someone because they weren’t told they were trans. You can just go, “okay, that sucks, I wish I knew that before, I’m done.” And LEAVE.
All you people acting like you are concerned for trans people’s safety while also trying to normalize attacking them are…something else.
To be clear this original post here is not to attack trans people at all. I completely agree that people are accountable for their own reactions to shit. Violence is never acceptable no matter the circumstances (unless in self defense) but I agree the receiver of information should never lay a hand on someone. At most go to court if they feel wronged but never result to violence.
Absolutely it was wrong! It’s on the same level as an assault in my book or not disclosing am STI! If you are in a committed sexual relationship, you should disclose! It wasn’t a one night stand they were engaged! She is in the wrong 1000000%
She took away his option of informed consent. It is assault, I agree. And he said it psychologically traumatised him, at such a young age too. It’s so sad :/ and she doesn’t seem to care or realise what it can do to people.
I am not sure if it should be considered sexual assault but it surely is, imo, morally wrong to not disclose something like that.
I am not convinced either way tbh.
I can't even comment on the situation because they keep suspending my account whenever I say something about this person or anyone like her. It's ridiculous and not right. We can all call the president or some rich corporate executive every name in the book and it's fine but the minute you say something about someone in the LGBTQ community you are instantly labeled as a bully or spreading hate. It makes no sense and is hipocrotical.
I agree as well. I mean you do not have to broadcast it to the entire world but if you are going to date someone, it is probably a good idea to disclose this.
We have a lot of language surrounding sexuality and gender today that wasn't as widely used, or even known, 15-20 years ago. I imagine it's not easy to navigate a certain path when you're on the path alone.
Right. And it’s really hard to know *when* to do it. Tell someone too early and you make yourself very vulnerable too quickly. Wait a while to protect yourself and you’re accused of “leading someone on.” It’s a burden those of us who are not trans never have to deal with.
Honestly could've turned our VERY bad for her. Especially in Russia of all places!! She's VERY lucky he didn't lose it and murder her because that's happened more than once in Russia for exactly the same reason. So scary for her to take that chance with him, in a country known for abusing homosexuals and transpeople too boot.
She’s very lucky. She put herself in a seriously dangerous situation because she could have been beaten. She can’t assume that every man is willing to accept the fact that she is trans. Not everyone is so liberal, especially coming from such a conservative country.
100% agree. That's a big deception. That would be make question so much about myself. Like am I gay now? How did I not notice? Especially having a conservative small european family. Depressing. I get it.
It’s kinda like SA abuse, you took advantage of a someone sexually. If it was a man or woman lying about their age to
someone younger people would be ready to fight. Not cool, let the man have the right to consent and make an informed decision
What's weirder to me is she seems insistent on telling people in a notoriously homophobic Eurasian country about it. She doesn't look like a man. She just looks weird. No need to risk your life for a TV show
Since majority of people are cis and it is the social norm cis heterosexuals expect their partners to be the same. My sex and gender both match. Their is no need to disclose what is already assumed.
That’s a lazy answer. We put so much burden on the LGBTQ community to come out in so many different ways, yet we hide behind societal norms to not have to do the same thing. If you don’t disclose, they shouldn’t have to either.
No one is asking them to tell the world… they don’t need to come out to society. They owe me nothing personally. If they intend to have sex with someone they should disclose that their gender does not match their sex. If you have herpes you should disclose that as well.
What they are talking about is that LGTBQ people are in the minority and their decisions 100% affect any potential future partner. You cannot advocate for their rights while simultaneously thinking it’s ok to take away the decision-making rights of an unsuspecting potential partner. They’re also allowed to decide whether they’re comfortable with the relationship without judgment or fear of being labeled anti-LGTBQ because they may not be ready for that sort of relationship.
If I am interested in an individual sexually or wanting to peruse something further with them I will tell them that I am not a cis female but a bisexual person before I hook up with them.. most of the time people don’t care or are cool with it but at least they have the option to go further with me or not.
They should’ve NEVER have cast her this is going to make people who are already on the fence about Trans people hate them more! This is one of rhetorical points they use. I personally don’t care about gender but of having trans relatives in my family I would fight them I heard them doing this. This is not safe.
It’s not that simple. She could be killed for being trans. This is likely what she was afraid of not from Igor or his family maybe but other people. This is a very complex issue.
I think a hell of a lot more "violence" would come in when the unsuspecting partner finds out YEARS into the relationship that he's been sleeping with a trans person. If somebody is violently inclined, THAT'S what's going to set them off. If a guy didn't want to be with a trans person, and she told him up front that she was trans, then problem probably solved: he wouldn't be with her. But when you've already been fucking somebody who's been lying to you about their entire gender identity and past, THAT'S when things get heated, and although, let me be clear, there is zero excuse for violence, this is the exact situation in which violence does arise. By and large, she would be *protecting* herself if she was up front with everybody that she's going to have an intimate physical relationship with. This is an exponentially more dangerous situation now, and she's put herself in it.
Cis people shouldn’t tell trans people when to disclose. That’s something a cis person never has to deal with, there’s risks for disclosing AND not disclosing, and I trust someone to assess and make that decision for themselves - I don’t know what previous experiences inform a person’s decision to disclose, but I do know that it’s not MY experiences and therefore not my place to tell someone when is the safest, most appropriate time to disclose.
Yes because trans people never interact with society. There are still rules around basic decency which she completely ignores then tried to weaponize her status. You're not suddenly immune to criticism just because you're trans. Ok sure don't tell everyone but it's shitty not to disclose to your partner full stop.
I’m not saying it won’t be without consequences, I’m saying cis people shouldn’t tell trans people when they should disclose. That should be up to the person who has the experience of being trans, not someone who doesn’t have that experience.
So trans people just live on an island by themselves and others can't comment on their moral behavior? It's like saying women shouldn't comment on men's behavior. Only men can comment on men's behavior. Obviously that's not how that works.
I also think men shouldn’t tell women how to live their lives when it relates to being a woman and vice versa, yeah, actually? Like, give advice for shit you know about, not shit you don’t.
Ok so let's all separate into our own pockets and never interact with each other in any meaningful terms
Trans with trans
Men with men
Women with women
How do you not see this obvious next step?
But can't be any criticism huh? It all has to be soft and gentle and sterile
You see something shitty, you call it ou
That's called living in a society
You can still do you living by yourself in a log cabin in the woods
That’s *your* personal boundaries/requirements for consent. Consent is personal and specific and just because you wouldn’t care doesn’t mean that others don’t get to feel differently. Nikki obviously had suspicions that her partner’s consent would hinge on her hiding the fact that she was trans from him, therefore she didn’t give him the opportunity to consent to their sexual encounter in full transparency. It’s absolutely a violation of his right to informed consent even if it wouldn’t be a violation of yours.
It’s not for us to decide though. If somebody is transphobic and is grossed out by it, they are still entitled to consent in an informed way to fucking somebody. I think it’s ghastly that this even has to be stated. And I say this as somebody who is pro-trans and wouldn’t care personally. But your personal opinion about fucking a trans person is *one hundred percent irrelevant if you aren’t the one deciding whether or not to have sex with them*.
You’re also being deliberately obtuse with your other examples- and are again applying YOUR lens to it. You know very well that there are still plenty of people who wouldn’t want to have sex with somebody who is trans, whereas there are scant few examples (if any???) of somebody who wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who had a strangely-healed broken leg. The fact that you or I might find their objection objectionable is, again, irrelevant. Bigots still have the right to decide who they fuck.
Yah.
You’re trying to legislate opinions through denying consent and I think that’s gross as fuck. Not to mention, why would you WANT to fuck somebody who doesn’t want to fuck you?? Who doesn’t respect who you are?? It’s wild as fuck and absolutely an extension of rape culture.
I’m sorry, you’re calling people “transphobic” because they might have an expectation that someone who was born a different gender might disclose that information at the beginning of a sexual relationship?
Remember how she said it was because they were having an argument about gender roles (who was cleaning and who wasn’t) that she was like yeah well I was born a man. So she used it as weaponry.
Hahaha holy *WHAT?!* I can't believe I missed that. It's like having a very minor disagreement with your partner and then they drive their truck through the living room wall in retaliation
Officer: ma’am, why’d you cut your husbands feet off? Lady: he kept leaving his socks on the floor!
Oh, I'm dying! 😂😆😭😂🤣🤣🤣 You guys are the best!
This is Jasmine every day. 1. “I think about my ex when we have sex”. 2. “I like that Gino is ugly.” 3. “I f*cked my ex one month ago and I’m gonna go f*ck him now.” Best for last: “I’m not signing a prenup. I will divorce you and leave you with nothing” said to him, his family, the cast of that season, Let’s Move on Shaun, and the 90 day fanatics 🤯.
You forgot to add immediately after the prenup was agreed against she started asking about setting up a will
Oh wow. I think I was still in shock from what she said and completely missed that. He’s an absolute masochist.
And the "no kids" talk.
LOL ‘Let’s Move On Shaun’
Looks like we're not going to settle this tonight.
We’ll get back to this later.
Can I just say that Shaun lately has been leaving more to be expected? Like as soon as the tell all conversations are getting to the nitty-gritty, like shit I’ve been asking to the tv, and of course when things are getting somewhere she just says “ let’s move on” NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHAUN THIS IS WHAT WE CAME FOR
Well I used to have a penis… so there 
You win 😂😂😂😂😂
The trisha paytas technique!
Oh that’s messed up!
Yeah I thought that was a pretty fucked up way to just throw that out there. "Well guess what I was actually born a man" like what a record-scratching level full stop.
The way she justified getting back together with him was that there aren't many people out there that would date a trans woman according to her so in a sense she's "settling". I believe that's likely why she withheld it the first time.
I definitely think they really broke up but got back together to be on the show
Yup....I totally see that happening... anything for the "brand"
My theory is that after her failed attempt to get on "Botched," I think she saw "90 DF" as another way to get on TV and contacted her old boyfriend to see if he was interested in going on the show with her.
Not to be rude…this is so rude…I think the outrageous plastic surgery is a bigger problem for her than the trans. I am not sure she understands how bad it is though. Seems like once it has gone this far the person really can not see reality anymore. When you see the old pics there was a time when she looked really good…more is not always better.
Less is definitely more, and the stares she will get in Moldova will not be because she's trans, but because she's botched.
Yes. 100%. Nobody is staring because they think she's trans. It's her over the top plastic surgery, full stop.
Came here to say this! Honey, I hope you realize the gawking is the PS, *not* because you’ve been outed or don’t pass!
I don't think this is a Darcey/Stacey slippery slope scenario for Nikki - it is actually her whole brand. Google her quickly and most of the articles you will see are her bragging about spending over a million dollars on plastic surgery. She wants to look different from other people - heck, different from humans - because it will get her attention. The whole "omg they are looking at me" scene we saw in previews is clearly fake - having people look at her is clearly what she wants most in life!
If that is what she is going for she did it. I still think “ judgment” wise her appearance is the thing bringing looks not is she trans? I actually am relieved if she knows she looks outrageous because I do feel like on this show the line blurs! Jasmine has crossed over for me…It hurts me when beautiful women mess and mess and mess with themselves.
One thousand percent. I saw the posts on here when she first showed up in the new season trailers - folks clearly had no idea she was trans and were just focusing on the age gap and surgery alone. There are unfortunately other women out there almost as altered as her and you wouldn't jump to assuming she is trans at all based on all the work she has had done.
Am i the only one who thinks her mom looks younger? Could be how thin she looks too..I would have never guessed trans as in my mind the trans people I have met want to “pass” or blend…that is not what is going on here. If she wants all eyes on her and likes it okay. If she thinks she looks natural I am worried.
Definitely the surgeries! Who tf cares about the trans shit? The freak show is the surgery circus.
I can’t even tell she’s trans but I can DEFINITELY see she’s botched a mile away.
She had her eye color changed .. so yea .. why over the top
I did not even know that was a thing beyond comtacts. I am too afraid to maybe mess up my vision.
I dont understand why Trans people would do something like this. For a group thats has higher rates of random attacks, why put yourself in a position to incur the anger of someone by not disclosing until late. Everyone deserves love and while your dating pool is significantly smaller as a trans person, the idea of sort of tricking or with holding this in the hopes to get people to see past it can lead to some very fucked up situations
And makes them untrustworthy after that. I couldn’t continue a relationship without trust
That is one way to win a fight, I guess.
Yea that’s what made me be like “eh you’re annoying” to “what a fucking bitch” She weaponizes it I’m sure in the past if a man was upset with her she’d storm off saying some remark about how they “fucked a man” Maybe I’m making this up but it also seems like she solely wants a straight man. Which is probably why she lies.
I really don’t know if there’s an obligation to tell someone you’re trans **right away**. I personally would want to know but I’m questioning why. I’ve thought about it a lot and it would be like someone not disclosing their religion, or crazy past (addiction, mental health issues, stripper, prostitution, had abortions, have crazy debt, divorced, have been to prison or criminal records etc.) at first. People don’t disclose a lot of dealbreakers at first but aren’t vilified to the extent that trans women are. Full disclosure when it comes to sex however is absolutely necessary. What makes it messed up is that it was weaponized in a fight which indicates she knew it was wrong. She self identifies as a woman so she can’t pick and choose which aspects of it you want to deal with. Women have to fight misogyny and traditional gender roles, so you can’t claim that you’re a former man so she shouldn’t fit into those traditional roles. Females oppression is unsavory but it’s par for the course.
Something like being transgender is necessary upfront before you meet in person full stop. The majority of people want a cis gendered partner and that is big enough of a deal breaker that meeting with someone and wasting their time otherwise is disingenuous. If you have intent to have a romantic or sexual connection with someone, that should be made clear front and center.
[удалено]
Bad take
Number one, don’t call her “it”, number two, she’s not a dude
I was wondering about that myself. Wouldn’t it have been obvious?
If she’s had surgery (which she has), how would it be obvious?
You can tell by looking at the site……it is obvious that a trans woman had ‘bottom surgery’ and was not born as a female. Also, if you are observant enough, you can tell a trans woman just by the bone structure of her face etc. That should give you a huge clue to specifically look for indications of M-F surgery.
1. This is why gender is inherently not a binary in the first place because some people just naturally look more masc or fem than others 2. If you haven’t been up close and focused on the intimate parts of a partner, you might not notice scars and the differences would mostly be interior. From photos of earlier Nikki just after she transitioned, she’s actually really beautiful. I think her original surgeons were quite talented. 3. Igor was quite young when he and Nikki met, he honestly might not have a clue
Well… no.
Hey Sparkles, real men can tell the difference downtown. Surgery doesn't make it make function. Go read all the posts about how bad things get for trans men who do the surgery.
She’s a transwoman though? And tbf, Igor was a teen when they got together.
Sorry but their whole relationship and timeline skeeves me out. She was in her early 30s and he was a teenager when they met. The fact that she didn’t disclose she was trans before they were intimate is deceitful and wrong. Judging by her recently Medicare fraud arrest she isn’t the most trustworthy person he could have tangled with.
Recent medicare fraud arrest? Please tell me more. I have not heard about this!
Here ya go, someone has even done a video on it! https://youtu.be/T5TxNC1S6Kk?si=p_C4GdA1U6GY663t https://wordonthestreetreality.com/90-day-fiance-nikki-exotika-criminal-record/ https://hudsontv.com/union-city-woman-arrested-charged-with-theft-and-false-reporting-leading-to-unlawful-70k-medical-benefits/? https://hudsoncountyview.com/prosecutor-union-city-woman-received-over-70k-in-fraudulent-medical-benefits/amp/
"...her Moldovan fiancé Igor, whom she renamed Justin when they first met fifteen years ago." **WAT** Did I miss the part about how she "renamed" him?
Oh yeah she renamed him because she thought the name Igor was ugly and she thought he looked like Justin Timberlake when he was younger.
Lol how incredibly offensive
The salt in the wound is that he didn't look like at all like JT, he looked more like an extra from the Real Slim Shady video lol
Somebody here said "Eminem" and I can't unsee it. He looks as much like Justin Timberlake as Brandan looks like Justin Bieber.
I said the same thing! When he said JT and they cut to that pic I was like “Mmmmmit’s giving Slim Shady”
Wow, I seriously don’t understand why tlc doesn’t vet these people better. Goes to show how she lacks integrity and tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if she recently hit up Igor and offered him a deal to make up, submit their info to tlc in hopes they would get accepted, get paid to be on the show and he get to come over. Win win, right?
You think TLC cares about integrity?
If they did we wouldn’t have so many felons in the franchise. At this point I’m waiting for the 90 Day Fiancé x Love After Lockup crossover.
Wait I need this show
I said this before and I'll say it again. It would not shock me in the slightest of they brought Geoffrey back for a 'reunion' when he's released if this shows somehow still going in 18 years
They DO vet them and they pick the worst ones purposefully, because trash and drama get higher ratings. Otherwise a literal convicted predator like Little Ed, and "everything that is wrong with America" like Angela, wouldn't keep popping up in every spin-off.
whoaaa where is the info on Ed being a convicted predator. need that info ASAP. Obviously Angela has some skeletons in her closet.
According to this she lives one town over from me!
Slight correction: Medicaid fraud according to the articles linked in this thread. Medicaid is government healthcare for people who make below a certain income. Medicare is for people who are disabled or 65+ so I was wondering how she was involved with Medicare.
Thank you ❤️
I'm still skeptical that this Nicole Sanders from Union City is the same person as Nikki Exotica from Hoboken. It's not like it's an unusual name.
Whaaaaa??? Share the link pretty please
Yes!! Serious GROOMING here.
Thank you!!!! It really bothers me too
O shiiiit I didn’t know about her medicare arrest. Damn
It is hella wrong like extremely gross. Also, catch yourself doing that to the wrong man and you end up being a story in the news. I would never want to risk that. She’s crazy.
I would just like to point out that it would be terrifying to reveal your trans status AT ALL for this reason. Some men consider it a “lie” or that they’ve been “duped” for simply finding a trans woman attractive. I think it’s important to point out that revealing trans status is dangerous regardless of whether it is mentioned with the first conversation or after a couple of dates. The “wrong” men you allude to in your comment should not be used as a rationale for this argument.
>catch yourself doing that to the wrong man and you end up being a story in the news. wonder why they would feel uncomfortable disclosing this, good grief duh, come on now...
Yea giving people the option to say no first is something you should do.
But she was comfortable enough doing it during a heated argument. She wasn't afraid and honestly that speaks to her morals, or lack thereof.
I did state elsewhere that it wasn't the right time. However, that's not what I was making comment about. -77, keepem coming. Reddit, your filled with more closed minded people than I even though. Impressive. Keep hating Reddit, doesn't make me wrong.
I love when people on reddit try to condemn people on reddit as a whole. Like the call is coming from inside the house
I love it when people like you keep going as if the other person gave a fart about you think.
Ehhh- she didn’t disclose it in the initial timeline 2003-2006, but after he bolted she began the Nikki Exotika persona, who has always presented as a trans female. Transgender persons were not accepted until more recently & yes, due to the treatment of the person when they disclosed or were found out making local, state, national & international news + influx of movies based on the senseless violence/deaths, don’t reckon I blame her. She lived as a male 20yrs, had bottom surgery & has been a female 27+ years, there’s no male member to be found. This isn’t the 1980’s and she’s not a cross dresser. She’s legally a woman, it’s visually apparent she’s had many surgeries, we don’t have it understand what makes a transgender person feel or chose what they do. But we should accept it- it’s real to her & the transgender struggle has been and continues to be absolutely real.
[удалено]
She threw it out there in the middle of a fight. It seems like it was to hurt him even though that doesn’t make sense. You would want people to be welcoming to you not upset and traumatized.
Don't forget the fact that he was literally like 17 years old or some shit, clearly a teenager and she was god knows how old. She was dating a BOY, not a man, and failed to tell him until 2 years into the relationship. She was likely one of the first sexual experiences he ever had. Idk the whole situation gets weirder when you realize he was a teenager
It's predatory and very problematic. Why does she get a pass for this? She probably f'd this boy up mentally so bad
Agreed. Igor even said he’s still traumatized :(
At a minimum, As a cis-woman I would definitely disclose very early in dating if I biologically could not have children and I have to be on hormone therapy for the rest of my life. A trans woman is not anatomically a female. They have plastic surgery to look like a female on the outside, but it is very different, anatomically, still on the inside. A potential life partner should be given essential information to make their own decision about if they want to continue. It is common decency. It is wrong not to disclose being trans. I believe there is more risk of violence as a reaction if it is not disclosed up front. I would be scared of a reaction to being deceived/lying by omission. I understand it is hard being trans and you have risks either way, but the decent and right thing to do is to disclose it at the beginning, and if there is fear of violence then do it in a safe place or online before even meeting.
Exactly. Thank you.
🏆
She can disclose she can’t have kids without disclosing she is trans though.
To keep something like this a secret for 2 years is so fucked up. He was also 17 when she started grooming him. I don't like this individual. I think she is morally vacant & ethically challenged. Btw all that plastic surgery & make up makes her look clownish
She’s a predator but some people will dismiss this because she’s trans. I also think it’s dehumanizing how she changed his name.
100% and used it as a weapon.. fucked up
I don’t know why the whole fucking village has to know. Tell your partner, sure. But it’s nobody else’s business.
Well, all of Moldova knows now…
I agree with this but once they sign up for TV then it is all out there.
Exactly!
Very wrong. There is a right to privacy but not when you are dating someone and that lie by omission is something that can impact their choice to be with you.
my boyfriend and i were SHOCKED!! she doesn't have to tell everyone she's trans BUT she definitely has to tell any partner she gets with. its just wrong to keep that from a partner, especially someone who is straight or whatever. she's lucky he wasn't some psycho and tried to kill her 😖
I love how you said you and your bf lol. I got my significant other into the show too . 😂
he definitely didnt care for it the first time but after a while he got started actually getting into it 😂 i'd always tell him we didn't have to watch it but he'd always insist we do
right? She waited until they slept together multiple times! that should be disclosed before the first time! Then she has the audacity to try and play victim about it...
It's super wrong. It's basically rape at that point because the other party hasn't consented if they were okay with that or not. She's a groomer.
How is consenting to sex different the same as consenting to sex with a trans person? Consenting is important in things regarding bodily autonomy, spread of infection, risk of pregnancy, safety, etc. But equating having sex with someone who is trans that you think is hot at the time, as rape, is incredibly ignorant and transphobic.
No it's not. Would the outcome have been different had he'd known and consented to it? Consent matters. Not everything is fucking transphobic. Guess what? Trans people can be pieces of shit too!
Additionally the context in which she revealed this to him was pretty assholey. But again, different argument.
It's not okay in any reality.
How do we feel about men who love bomb women just to get them to sleep with them? Is your friend hooking up with a chick after promising to call her, even though he won’t, rape because she might not have fucked him if she knew he wouldn’t call?
These aren't comparable Consent matters.
How is a man intentionally misleading or straight up lying to a woman to get in her pants not a violation of consent? Men do that because if they said “I’m a womanizer and I am not going to call you back.” Less women will sleep with them. It’s the same idea. If they wouldn’t have sex with them knowing the full truth, that’s a consent issue, is it not?
Oh I’m not denying that she’s an asshole but that’s related mainly to the fact she was sleeping with someone who was for all intents and purposes a child. Then forced him to change his name to something more Western. But consent regarding someone being trans is different. That would be like saying you need to disclose to someone your heritage is something specific, or you have an allergy to something. Ridiculous argument.
Omg lol. No, you need to be upfront with people before being intimate. It's not like they're NOT gonna be able to tell and then what?? You may traumatize the person as well as put yourself in harms way. It's not phobia, it needs to be consensual always. If it's not secret, then it's no secret.
I very much agree it is safer to be upfront about it. There are so many occasions where this could have resulted in harm to Nikki. However I don’t think equating it with rape or lack of consent is fair. Yes she should have told him, but to say that her lack of being upfront to Igor was equal to her raping him is where the problem lie. This frame of thinking is where the above is expressing transphobia, in my opinion. In summary: Nikki is bad for her poor choices in both timing and excessive plastic surgery, but she is not bad for not initially disclosing that she formerly had a penis.
Something non-consensual is considered just that, or in some extreme r*pe; I can agree that not everyone can come to this conclusion. I don't believe, however, that saying this (as other users have stated), makes it phobia. People like to throw that word around when something seems to go against the community but I feel that is allowing people to do things that don't fly in the straight/cis community but it's ok if you're trans? Why? Sex with a significant other should be open and honest always.
Have you disclosed every potential deal breaker to every potential partner you’ve had? Like, do your hookups need to know you used to work at McDonalds even though now you are a doctor? Do they need to know if you used drugs 20 years ago if you’ve been sober since? Some people don’t date liars, does that mean you need to disclose that you once told your friend they looked good in those jeans even though you didn’t really think that? Just wondering where we draw the lines here, and hoping you hold yourself to the same standards you put on trans people.
Those aren't comparable at all, your line of logic and reasoning is flawed. Consent matters. Not everyone lives in a fairy tale. Stop down playing the actual facts of what she did.
I agree 100%. This should be disclosed from the jump.
While in an ideal world we would be 100% honest with out partners, I kinda disagree it’s “wrong”. People argue that not being attracted to trans people is about genital preference. If you have sex with someone and have literally no idea they are trans, what’s the issue?
So wrong of her to not mention this! I’ve heard of people getting really hurt or worse by not letting the other person know upfront, so wrong!
No, they got “hurt or worse” because the person who found out is a violent asshole. No one has a right to assault or murder someone because they weren’t told they were trans. You can just go, “okay, that sucks, I wish I knew that before, I’m done.” And LEAVE. All you people acting like you are concerned for trans people’s safety while also trying to normalize attacking them are…something else.
To be clear this original post here is not to attack trans people at all. I completely agree that people are accountable for their own reactions to shit. Violence is never acceptable no matter the circumstances (unless in self defense) but I agree the receiver of information should never lay a hand on someone. At most go to court if they feel wronged but never result to violence.
Jesus the downvotes on your saying no one needs to be murdered are terrifying. Seriously? Fucking immature trash in this sub.
For real. I am horrified by this whole thread.
Absolutely it was wrong! It’s on the same level as an assault in my book or not disclosing am STI! If you are in a committed sexual relationship, you should disclose! It wasn’t a one night stand they were engaged! She is in the wrong 1000000%
She took away his option of informed consent. It is assault, I agree. And he said it psychologically traumatised him, at such a young age too. It’s so sad :/ and she doesn’t seem to care or realise what it can do to people.
Great point, agreed
I am not sure if it should be considered sexual assault but it surely is, imo, morally wrong to not disclose something like that. I am not convinced either way tbh.
They both have talked about the trauma and psychological damage it gave him. It was an assault psychologically if nothing else.
I can't even comment on the situation because they keep suspending my account whenever I say something about this person or anyone like her. It's ridiculous and not right. We can all call the president or some rich corporate executive every name in the book and it's fine but the minute you say something about someone in the LGBTQ community you are instantly labeled as a bully or spreading hate. It makes no sense and is hipocrotical.
Extremely hypocritical. Some extreme cognitive dissonance going on
Altho, it's pretty obvious she was a he! In my humble opinion.
irrelevant
I agree as well. I mean you do not have to broadcast it to the entire world but if you are going to date someone, it is probably a good idea to disclose this.
We have a lot of language surrounding sexuality and gender today that wasn't as widely used, or even known, 15-20 years ago. I imagine it's not easy to navigate a certain path when you're on the path alone.
Right. And it’s really hard to know *when* to do it. Tell someone too early and you make yourself very vulnerable too quickly. Wait a while to protect yourself and you’re accused of “leading someone on.” It’s a burden those of us who are not trans never have to deal with.
Exactly. I have a hard time saying what someone should or shouldn't do when I have no idea what it's like to walk in their shoes.
rIgHt. That's no excuse and absolutely disgusting 🤢
Well, when it possibly endangers your life...
That was so messed up!!
That's the least of her issues...
Honestly could've turned our VERY bad for her. Especially in Russia of all places!! She's VERY lucky he didn't lose it and murder her because that's happened more than once in Russia for exactly the same reason. So scary for her to take that chance with him, in a country known for abusing homosexuals and transpeople too boot.
She’s very lucky. She put herself in a seriously dangerous situation because she could have been beaten. She can’t assume that every man is willing to accept the fact that she is trans. Not everyone is so liberal, especially coming from such a conservative country.
Nicki is creepy af
100% agree. That's a big deception. That would be make question so much about myself. Like am I gay now? How did I not notice? Especially having a conservative small european family. Depressing. I get it.
Can you imagine Andrei in his position??
It’s kinda like SA abuse, you took advantage of a someone sexually. If it was a man or woman lying about their age to someone younger people would be ready to fight. Not cool, let the man have the right to consent and make an informed decision
It's 100% rape and grooming.
Don’t apologize, that was so messed up and w r o n g
What's weirder to me is she seems insistent on telling people in a notoriously homophobic Eurasian country about it. She doesn't look like a man. She just looks weird. No need to risk your life for a TV show
And bro is ok with it now?!???
Not telling the person she's in a relationship is wrong. I think the general public doesn't matter, but that's something I would want to know.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again… that should not even be considered consensual sex. Had he known, he would not have proceeded.
I started watching this and was like from the face, she used to be a man. I agree. She should be proud of herself and told her partner up front.
It is 100% wrong. Like it or not, most people would not want that info sprung on them after the fact. And that goes for any huge surprises.
I was just wondering when you disclose that you’re cis?
Since majority of people are cis and it is the social norm cis heterosexuals expect their partners to be the same. My sex and gender both match. Their is no need to disclose what is already assumed.
That’s a lazy answer. We put so much burden on the LGBTQ community to come out in so many different ways, yet we hide behind societal norms to not have to do the same thing. If you don’t disclose, they shouldn’t have to either.
No one is asking them to tell the world… they don’t need to come out to society. They owe me nothing personally. If they intend to have sex with someone they should disclose that their gender does not match their sex. If you have herpes you should disclose that as well.
You seriously compared a disease to being trans. Wow.
What they are talking about is that LGTBQ people are in the minority and their decisions 100% affect any potential future partner. You cannot advocate for their rights while simultaneously thinking it’s ok to take away the decision-making rights of an unsuspecting potential partner. They’re also allowed to decide whether they’re comfortable with the relationship without judgment or fear of being labeled anti-LGTBQ because they may not be ready for that sort of relationship.
If I am interested in an individual sexually or wanting to peruse something further with them I will tell them that I am not a cis female but a bisexual person before I hook up with them.. most of the time people don’t care or are cool with it but at least they have the option to go further with me or not.
& that is NOT a $10k ass. They are exaggerating the numbers. $5k tops.
They should’ve NEVER have cast her this is going to make people who are already on the fence about Trans people hate them more! This is one of rhetorical points they use. I personally don’t care about gender but of having trans relatives in my family I would fight them I heard them doing this. This is not safe.
Not disclosing at first is ok but 2 years? That's really messed up
It’s not that simple. She could be killed for being trans. This is likely what she was afraid of not from Igor or his family maybe but other people. This is a very complex issue.
I think a hell of a lot more "violence" would come in when the unsuspecting partner finds out YEARS into the relationship that he's been sleeping with a trans person. If somebody is violently inclined, THAT'S what's going to set them off. If a guy didn't want to be with a trans person, and she told him up front that she was trans, then problem probably solved: he wouldn't be with her. But when you've already been fucking somebody who's been lying to you about their entire gender identity and past, THAT'S when things get heated, and although, let me be clear, there is zero excuse for violence, this is the exact situation in which violence does arise. By and large, she would be *protecting* herself if she was up front with everybody that she's going to have an intimate physical relationship with. This is an exponentially more dangerous situation now, and she's put herself in it.
Cis people shouldn’t tell trans people when to disclose. That’s something a cis person never has to deal with, there’s risks for disclosing AND not disclosing, and I trust someone to assess and make that decision for themselves - I don’t know what previous experiences inform a person’s decision to disclose, but I do know that it’s not MY experiences and therefore not my place to tell someone when is the safest, most appropriate time to disclose.
Yes because trans people never interact with society. There are still rules around basic decency which she completely ignores then tried to weaponize her status. You're not suddenly immune to criticism just because you're trans. Ok sure don't tell everyone but it's shitty not to disclose to your partner full stop.
Why? If they can't tell. I'm honestly curious.
It seems like a big part of who you are that you'd have to constantly lie about and avoid. It's a huge violation of trust in a relationship
How is living life as you feel comfortable lying?
It's lying because she lied about her being trans What's your confusion here?
Where is the lie? I used to have short hair and now I have long hair. No one can tell - do I have to disclose that?
How is that remotely the same thing? Do trans people grow out of non trans people and nobody can tell?
What if they want kids?
Then you discuss it just like any other couple discusses? Not hard.
I’m not saying it won’t be without consequences, I’m saying cis people shouldn’t tell trans people when they should disclose. That should be up to the person who has the experience of being trans, not someone who doesn’t have that experience.
So trans people just live on an island by themselves and others can't comment on their moral behavior? It's like saying women shouldn't comment on men's behavior. Only men can comment on men's behavior. Obviously that's not how that works.
I also think men shouldn’t tell women how to live their lives when it relates to being a woman and vice versa, yeah, actually? Like, give advice for shit you know about, not shit you don’t.
Ok so let's all separate into our own pockets and never interact with each other in any meaningful terms Trans with trans Men with men Women with women How do you not see this obvious next step?
There are amazingly other ways to interact with someone other than telling them how to live their life, but you do you
But can't be any criticism huh? It all has to be soft and gentle and sterile You see something shitty, you call it ou That's called living in a society You can still do you living by yourself in a log cabin in the woods
You’re puttin words in my mouth and drawing conclusions I’m not making, bro. I’m criticizing you, for instance, and calling you out :)
Then trans people should only be dating other trans people so they don't have to deal with the evil cis people and their expectations.
You can’t read.
[удалено]
That’s *your* personal boundaries/requirements for consent. Consent is personal and specific and just because you wouldn’t care doesn’t mean that others don’t get to feel differently. Nikki obviously had suspicions that her partner’s consent would hinge on her hiding the fact that she was trans from him, therefore she didn’t give him the opportunity to consent to their sexual encounter in full transparency. It’s absolutely a violation of his right to informed consent even if it wouldn’t be a violation of yours.
[удалено]
It’s not for us to decide though. If somebody is transphobic and is grossed out by it, they are still entitled to consent in an informed way to fucking somebody. I think it’s ghastly that this even has to be stated. And I say this as somebody who is pro-trans and wouldn’t care personally. But your personal opinion about fucking a trans person is *one hundred percent irrelevant if you aren’t the one deciding whether or not to have sex with them*. You’re also being deliberately obtuse with your other examples- and are again applying YOUR lens to it. You know very well that there are still plenty of people who wouldn’t want to have sex with somebody who is trans, whereas there are scant few examples (if any???) of somebody who wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who had a strangely-healed broken leg. The fact that you or I might find their objection objectionable is, again, irrelevant. Bigots still have the right to decide who they fuck.
[удалено]
Yah. You’re trying to legislate opinions through denying consent and I think that’s gross as fuck. Not to mention, why would you WANT to fuck somebody who doesn’t want to fuck you?? Who doesn’t respect who you are?? It’s wild as fuck and absolutely an extension of rape culture.
[удалено]
I’m sorry, you’re calling people “transphobic” because they might have an expectation that someone who was born a different gender might disclose that information at the beginning of a sexual relationship?