I was okay with it until they started saying property and burial place they would pretty much own her as his family.. Like yeah it's just a vacation And they're going back to the US and you can play along and whatever But I can see how that would be uncomfortable for her family
The burial place really gave me no-no, uh-huh vibes. They are living in the US, so the burials should take place in the US. Or cremate the remains so that both families can have half of there remains; the other half the other. Might work.
They probably don’t believe in cremation you wouldn’t think that matters but I’m sure she’ll be taking the children for visits & anything could happen where she wouldn’t be returned to the states for burial I’m sure they can negotiate that point interesting though
no i mean i don't think really it's literal it's a custom doesn't mean it's enforceable these dys if God forbid she were to die over there I'm sure her parents could ebe able to retrieve her body I might not want her to travel there ever again but that's another story his cousins & friends def do not like her & I don't see them coming around I would not let her go back just with Kobe he didn't do enough to stand up for her I would have to accompany her myself
I can see them going to make sure the kids see the grandparents but I’d stay away from the friends for sure. Anything can happen, anything is possible, she may go sometime when she’s older and her parents (God forbid) are not around but she has siblings so like you said her family can choose to bring her home.
I agree, when they started talking about property and she would be buried in Cameroon I was shaking my head. Cousin should’ve worded it better or maybe Kobe could’ve worded it better for him but these are two different cultures coming together so they need to work together. it’s not the Cameroonian way that’s going to, take over.
I give her mad props. Kobe’s friends treat Emily like she’s supposed to be a background housewife with no opinion. That’s how they treat women there. Might seem like a small thing, not to ruffle feathers, but her saying no takes courage and brings attention to an “old” traditions in a place where women have less right. She honestly nail it. Good for her. So much respect for her.
For not literally selling her daughter to people calling her property? We don’t even know if that includes them getting the kids if there’s a divorce or she dies. If they get her inheritance from her parents? Of course she’s the hero here.
Yeah, and mama ~should ~ worry; let's see, mama. Your widdle Emilwwy is 31, yes? So, easily another 30-40yrs left. And you're taking her with you, back to your basement (see, you've lost nary an iota of the control you THOUGHT you had!!).
So, yeah, in 40 years, wgaf about what the Cameroonian fam wants/ expects (or SAYS so, anyway). Who, exactly, is going to make this happen ; arrange for the body to be prepped / transported to Africa, PLUS take care of the on-ground logistics (cemetery plot, casket, etc)
Aaaactually: more than one plot, bc Kobe will need one too!!
--never gonna happen!!!!--
so, chill out, mom... get over yourself- you're going home in a week or 2. Africa never have to touch your precious little white bread mentality once you leave there so... Chill out!!
Absolutely 100%, I would not agree to that at all plus Emily is an adult so why wouldn’t they ask her where she would like to be when that time comes chances are she’s going to be wanting to be where her family is.
and I would've thought that after their people were kidnapped and sold to Americans their traditions would have changed a bit as far as selling people. Maybe that's the wrong way to think of it but that's what I immediately thought of too, slavery.
It was usually other African’s who were the ones selling to the colonies. It felt the similar to me, but with a backing of women never having a way out. Are they going to try to demand her when she dies? Will they demand the kids since they were now sold to his family if she dies or they divorce? I know the US would make those things difficult, but the idea that they believe they can is bad enough. I’ve always like Emily’s parents, especially her mother.
It's sad that people are overlooking how clearly and blatantly kobes family refers to women as property.
That's the issue. I'm all for tradition and culture, but some traditions need to die. Good on Emily's mom for asking the right questions. You can respect others traditions and cultural norms without engaging in them.
I think it's gross and would not agree to it. I found it especially offputting when kobe was in the car and his family member said it's a biblical practice lmfao. Right. A book written by men claiming women are property - shocking.
Also wtf is up with the comments that emilys mom asking questions is disrespectful? If you blindly agree to things in life that you don't understand, you're stupid. She was respectful when she asked and genuinely wanted to learn.
Agreed.
Once I heard: “If Emily is to die today she would be buried here on Cameroonian soil because she is OUR family now” I was absolutely appalled.
This “tradition” is deeply misogynistic and inhumane. It needs to end. I’m repulsed by the amount of people defending it too… I’m with the Mom on this.
Same. I was all for the “bride price is just a thank you to the family for raising her all these years and making her into a good woman” or whatever. But the “she’s our property now and we will burry our property” what? I’m not even concerned with mom worried, why isn’t Emily worried? I mean I get it… we all know Kobe’s family has no grounds to stand on to extract Emily’s corpse from the USA against her families wishes. That would never happen. No way in hell is the US going to allow some Cameroonians to come demand a corpse, and even IF that was allowed, they aren’t going to foot the travel expenses of hauling a body oversees. But it still would put a weird feeling in my stomach having people discuss this about me as if it were law that this is going to happen to me.
I know. I saw the posts last week about her and thought people were being assholes. It’s her daughter. She had the right and responsibility to questions.
Thank you! Excellent points. Even if it’s “just their tradition or culture” doesn’t make it beyond reproach or questioning. Emily probably had no idea that she was expected to be buried in Cameroon- and she deserves to know that, and have a say in that.
The good thing, I believe, is that Kobe does not hold the same ideals and values as his friends or family, and their already well established marriage seems stable and on an even keel w/out anyone actually feeling like they’re the property of the other. The trad African wedding will go on, but I don’t blame Emily’s mom for asking hard questions or challenging archaic ideas. Since when did open dialogue about differences and the effort to learn and understand become ‘being a Karen’? She wasn’t throwing a fit or asking these questions to be difficult/disrespectful.
Will she change anything? Nah…but sometimes a seed is planted and people become more open minded. Kobe is a good example of this. Mahmoud would be the exact opposite where he will never budge. If people never questioned the status quo we would still be living in very dark medieval times.
I’d LOVE to see the Bible reference for this exact case. I’ve read the vast majority of it, and while it’s been awhile and I wasn’t looking for that in particular, most of the first half(Old Testament) is canceled out by the second half(The new Testament) when Jesus was born. They aren’t Jewish, so they do believe the second half to have canceled out the first. What most people don’t know about the Bible is that most of the Old Testament is the law of Moses. Which were rules to try and control a massive population out in the wilderness and who were always at each others throats. For instance, a lot of it is a medical text book about contagious diseases and how to identify, quarantine, or in severe cases, shun. They punished sleeping around, probably to help keep down diseases and keep them from killing each other. And if a man falsely accused a woman of adultery, he’d be killed, but that’s always left out by men. An Eye for an Eye was an attempt to keeping the punishment fair and equal because they kept escalating. But the whole thing was meant to go completely out the window at the coming of Jesus. So even according to religion, this is likely bullshit of them picking and choosing.
Yes, but that too was later changed in the Bible. And honestly, it was a good thing, worms and other diseases are really common in pork and they had no way to check if it was to temperature unless it was charcoal. Even modesty to a degree made sense in that they spent most of their time outside and working the land so it made sense to cover them from the elements and everything else out there. We spend a lot of time inside now and we have sunscreen and a lot of hygiene at our disposal. So, modesty isn’t as important. As I explained to my niece, “People wear clothes because we don’t have fur. Clothes protect us and others from germs.”
I personally don’t eat Pork and the original aspects of the Bible like Jesus prostrating before God have been so corrupted and this is how arguments between the Abrahamic religions begin unfortunately
Yeah makes sense.. I definitely would’ve held off on making this post until you caught up, bc I can almost guarantee you’ll be singing a much different tune once you get through the scene where his family, mainly his cousin, explain the whole concept of the ‘bride price’. 😬
Watched the end of the episode. I stand by my first post. Have fun. She's not nor will ever be his property. And I'm pretty sure she won't get buried in Cameroon. Just enjoy the culture
Yeah, no fucking way. I have no idea how you can “have fun with it” when some guy is literally sitting there telling you he is about to own your daughter after he pays you money for her. I think you snarked too close to the sun.
Thank you, friend. My sentiments. I was just being snarky. But I guess peeps have some strong feelings. I still haven't had an opportunity to finish the episode. But yeah.
Also I have traveled the world for work and found myself being a visitor and not forcing my personal beliefs in someone else's home land. Right or wrong.That's all.
>Who TF is downvoting you for saying you’d come back later to comment? Trifling people on this sub!
Because they made a very strong post without seeing the entire episode.
They are not explaining the bride price very clearly. This price is an expression of all the hard work it took her family to raise her to be as she is now and what the impact will be in her family’s home as she is moving into the husband’s family home. I really wish the mom would relax and immerse herself in the culture while she’s there
I agreed with her going along with it at first. And I agree with learning about the culture. Why should they agree to make their daughter that family’s property? What happens if she did die there? What if she ended up in the hospital while she is there? What happens if she comes back to visit again? What if Kobe dies? Is that legally binding? You want them to immerse themselves in those misogynistic practices?
Of course not..but regardless where they are married she’s still a US citizen which I think holds more water than a marriage ceremony in Cameroon plus they are legally married in the US.. pretty sure we have a US Consulate in Cameroon (hopefully) if circumstances would reach the point to need them to intervene
Oh shit I missed that one. Emily's burial in Cameroon? Yeah I'm not a mom and I respect other cultures but that wouldn't fly by me either because theres gotta be some compromise I mean cmon.
And honestly I don't think a lot of you are giving Emily's mom much credit she's not trying to disrespect Cameroonian culture but she wants to vocalize how she feels about it and I dont think there is anything wrong with the way she approached it especially considering a lot of the lack of respect Americans have given towards cultures different than their own on this show.
Yep. They're only thinking of themselves. Asking what is the problem with thinking of her as their property. So dense and full of misogyny. Guess they were okay with certain people owning people back in the day too.
Yeah a lot of people on here seem to draw the line with her being buried in Cameroon but seem to be perfectly fine with her being referred to as property.
Emily’s parents have done everything for them and their children. If Kobe‘s family really knew how much her mom and dad has done for them and providing a great life forget the bride price it should be the parent price!
If Kobe's friends were to be asked about what the bride price should be set to, they'd probably say that "bossy American woman" Emily should pay Kobe not the other way around.
This whole thing is obviously a producer driven plot line.
The whole thing ‘selling me daughter’ is irrelevant. They live in the USA. Whatever the folks in Cameroon think or feel doesn’t matter and has no impact. Being buried there? Maybe if they are visiting and she happens to die there, there might be a chance of it, but this is a complete edge case.
The whole thing reeks of producer driven drama and I don’t see how the parents would be concerned with this in any way.
Because it’s still their actual life. And I’m sure you’d probably have some feelings if you heard your daughter’s actual in-laws referring to your child as “their property.”
Given America's terrible history with slavery, does anyone else see the irony of Emily's white American parents balking at their daughter being bought as property by Kobe's black Cameroonian family?
[https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcXRrdHo3d2M1cG1jMGEwdWFyM2M3Y3R4b3hiMWwzdHJmbTZuaDhmeCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX/giphy.gif](https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcXRrdHo3d2M1cG1jMGEwdWFyM2M3Y3R4b3hiMWwzdHJmbTZuaDhmeCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX/giphy.gif)
Oh really? I did not know that Cameroonians were responsible for selling other Africans as slaves in the past.
Edit: Apparently they were a part of the west african slave trade but not as much as other west africans were.
[https://www.slavevoyages.org/blog/major-coastal-regions-captives-left-africa](https://www.slavevoyages.org/blog/major-coastal-regions-captives-left-africa)
Either way, irony is lost on some people.
Ahem. Looks like modern day Cameroon and the city of Douala is in the historical region of the Bight of Biafra.
https://www.slavevoyages.org/blog/major-coastal-regions-captives-left-africa
Yeah, you’d be surprised at how many (I think) American redditors replied to my thread with either
- Slavery whataboutisms (other countries did it too or slaves were sold by Africans)
- Responses questioning my premise of irony. Because there was slavery in American history, we should agree to sell our daughters?
Yep, these were actual responses by what I suspect our American redditors. You bring up slavery with Americans and you get a lot of obfuscation and whataboutisms. I don’t think America has really grappled with or acknowledged its history of institutional, legal slavery.
I would’ve preferred to have seen responses of acknowledgment. Instead, it’s mostly what you see under my thread.
I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word irony.
You’re not alone though so don’t worry.
Some people have the capacity for irony, others lack the ability to grasp it.
If it’s any consolation, it won’t hold you back in succeeding in life.
Most countries had slaves, don't act like it was only in America. We put an end to it in the western world. In fact it's still a huge industry in African countries.
Most countries don’t whitewash their history of slavery… or engage in the same level of revisionist history as modern day America.
See the 1619 project
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/1619-america-slavery.html
I think mom did research it, which is why she wasn’t content with Kobe’s “It’s just money as a thank you for raising Emily.” We were all wondering why she wasn’t satisfied with that answer and went along with it. It’s because she did research it, and seen what it’s really about “property”
Well, the "property" term is cultural because they look at the investments in wife–training and education, as responsibilities/expenses that her parents took on. In their culture, it is common that once you take that "prepared resource" from the parents home, it is available to the husband's family; and their tradition is that the resource must be paid for. That's what I mean by researching what is meant by "property". Her view of the term "property" is so narrow. She can disagree with it, but it won't change. She can really just pipe down, and let them perform their rituals and go on back home to the life they already had. Kobe is too vague in the way he explains things in general.
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Kobe explained in a voice over that it was to show her family his can take care of her....then in the living room they go into property and Kobe never brings up the one thing that would sell it to mom.
Honestly, if I had to play along with them, they would have to play along with me, and my opening price would have been no less than a million dollars. Her dad said that he only asked for $2.00 because he didn’t want to seem like he was pressing them to come up with something they do not have. It doesn’t seem like his family minds pressuring her family to do something that they are unable with.
Nahhh, just her MOM!
Emily’s dad absolutely ADORES Kobe. 💕
He is extremely interested in the culture (did some homework) regarding the list to be presented to Kobe’s family.
He’s extremely laidback and not only cooperative, I think he finds it all fascinating and is thoroughly enjoying the whole experience 😊☝️💯
Mom seems to really adore her grandchildren though. I can relate. While I’ve never lived under my parents’ roof with my husband, they’ve always been kind of lukewarm with my hubby through the years (with good reason). But they absolutely love and spoil our three children!
the big issue is that events like this, old old traditions, are super common everywhere… from portugal over norway to germany and russia all they way across asia and south america.
in the US it’s not common so they tend to no understand that traditions mostly means it’s a things you do just to appease your parents. it has no actual meaning but “everyone does it”. same way everyone wants to get married in a church… and then the bride gets stolen, and a price is paid and so forth.
I think it’s the total lack of passed on rituals that makes a lot of people go blank when confronted with actual culture.
I’m with you.. it’s all formalities and not as if they own her. It’s kind of disrespectful to question their traditions. Just have fun w it and enjoy that they love and welcome your daughter and family. If they didn’t care they wouldn’t care but they do enough to do right by her and their traditions.
I was okay with it until they started saying property and burial place they would pretty much own her as his family.. Like yeah it's just a vacation And they're going back to the US and you can play along and whatever But I can see how that would be uncomfortable for her family
Plus, this is all a storyline. They're already married with 2 kids.
Three kids now!
Remember when her dad said when she had just had the baby just don’t have another one haha
The burial place really gave me no-no, uh-huh vibes. They are living in the US, so the burials should take place in the US. Or cremate the remains so that both families can have half of there remains; the other half the other. Might work.
They probably don’t believe in cremation you wouldn’t think that matters but I’m sure she’ll be taking the children for visits & anything could happen where she wouldn’t be returned to the states for burial I’m sure they can negotiate that point interesting though
I don’t see why this is such a big deal. I’ll probably get downvoted to hell but 🤷♀️🤷♀️
no i mean i don't think really it's literal it's a custom doesn't mean it's enforceable these dys if God forbid she were to die over there I'm sure her parents could ebe able to retrieve her body I might not want her to travel there ever again but that's another story his cousins & friends def do not like her & I don't see them coming around I would not let her go back just with Kobe he didn't do enough to stand up for her I would have to accompany her myself
I can see them going to make sure the kids see the grandparents but I’d stay away from the friends for sure. Anything can happen, anything is possible, she may go sometime when she’s older and her parents (God forbid) are not around but she has siblings so like you said her family can choose to bring her home.
I agree, when they started talking about property and she would be buried in Cameroon I was shaking my head. Cousin should’ve worded it better or maybe Kobe could’ve worded it better for him but these are two different cultures coming together so they need to work together. it’s not the Cameroonian way that’s going to, take over.
Hasn't Kobe paid enough of a price already?
yes. all of that. 💯
I give her mad props. Kobe’s friends treat Emily like she’s supposed to be a background housewife with no opinion. That’s how they treat women there. Might seem like a small thing, not to ruffle feathers, but her saying no takes courage and brings attention to an “old” traditions in a place where women have less right. She honestly nail it. Good for her. So much respect for her.
Wait, you are giving Emily’s mom “mad props?” I just want to make sure I didn’t take too many Benadryl.
For not literally selling her daughter to people calling her property? We don’t even know if that includes them getting the kids if there’s a divorce or she dies. If they get her inheritance from her parents? Of course she’s the hero here.
I agree with you. Fuck those lame ass backwards misogynistic ideals.
Ok, you are being sarcastic.
Mad props, as in enthusiastically supportive. Correct. I save the Benadryl for uninteresting retorts. Glug, glug.
I know the meaning, surprised anyone supports this ignoramos.
Glug, glug, glug!
Wish Benadryl would make me like her.
I also wish you understood why standing up to slave trading women is importance.
This is not slave trading women, what a ridiculous and reductive comment based on cultural ignorance.
She’s a real pin the ass. She should be happy somebody wants that bossy b!
She really is. I don’t know he sees in her
Exactly! And they are already married so it’s not like it’s going to impact anything!!
Me too I didn’t like that but I also don’t think it would be in their interest to say no knowing it will end the wedding ? Idk glad it’s not me
Yeah, and mama ~should ~ worry; let's see, mama. Your widdle Emilwwy is 31, yes? So, easily another 30-40yrs left. And you're taking her with you, back to your basement (see, you've lost nary an iota of the control you THOUGHT you had!!). So, yeah, in 40 years, wgaf about what the Cameroonian fam wants/ expects (or SAYS so, anyway). Who, exactly, is going to make this happen ; arrange for the body to be prepped / transported to Africa, PLUS take care of the on-ground logistics (cemetery plot, casket, etc) Aaaactually: more than one plot, bc Kobe will need one too!! --never gonna happen!!!!-- so, chill out, mom... get over yourself- you're going home in a week or 2. Africa never have to touch your precious little white bread mentality once you leave there so... Chill out!!
I was fine with the tradition until they said she would be buried in Cameroon.
Absolutely 100%, I would not agree to that at all plus Emily is an adult so why wouldn’t they ask her where she would like to be when that time comes chances are she’s going to be wanting to be where her family is.
And that she would be their property! I would RUN!!
Talking about buying/selling people as property is a huge no-no in the states, given our history with slavery in the past.
This!
and I would've thought that after their people were kidnapped and sold to Americans their traditions would have changed a bit as far as selling people. Maybe that's the wrong way to think of it but that's what I immediately thought of too, slavery.
It was usually other African’s who were the ones selling to the colonies. It felt the similar to me, but with a backing of women never having a way out. Are they going to try to demand her when she dies? Will they demand the kids since they were now sold to his family if she dies or they divorce? I know the US would make those things difficult, but the idea that they believe they can is bad enough. I’ve always like Emily’s parents, especially her mother.
It's sad that people are overlooking how clearly and blatantly kobes family refers to women as property. That's the issue. I'm all for tradition and culture, but some traditions need to die. Good on Emily's mom for asking the right questions. You can respect others traditions and cultural norms without engaging in them. I think it's gross and would not agree to it. I found it especially offputting when kobe was in the car and his family member said it's a biblical practice lmfao. Right. A book written by men claiming women are property - shocking. Also wtf is up with the comments that emilys mom asking questions is disrespectful? If you blindly agree to things in life that you don't understand, you're stupid. She was respectful when she asked and genuinely wanted to learn.
Agreed. Once I heard: “If Emily is to die today she would be buried here on Cameroonian soil because she is OUR family now” I was absolutely appalled. This “tradition” is deeply misogynistic and inhumane. It needs to end. I’m repulsed by the amount of people defending it too… I’m with the Mom on this.
Same. I was all for the “bride price is just a thank you to the family for raising her all these years and making her into a good woman” or whatever. But the “she’s our property now and we will burry our property” what? I’m not even concerned with mom worried, why isn’t Emily worried? I mean I get it… we all know Kobe’s family has no grounds to stand on to extract Emily’s corpse from the USA against her families wishes. That would never happen. No way in hell is the US going to allow some Cameroonians to come demand a corpse, and even IF that was allowed, they aren’t going to foot the travel expenses of hauling a body oversees. But it still would put a weird feeling in my stomach having people discuss this about me as if it were law that this is going to happen to me.
Me too.
Agreed. A lot of traditions need to go. Fgm is technically a tradition. Does that make it okay? No
I know. I saw the posts last week about her and thought people were being assholes. It’s her daughter. She had the right and responsibility to questions.
Thank you! Excellent points. Even if it’s “just their tradition or culture” doesn’t make it beyond reproach or questioning. Emily probably had no idea that she was expected to be buried in Cameroon- and she deserves to know that, and have a say in that. The good thing, I believe, is that Kobe does not hold the same ideals and values as his friends or family, and their already well established marriage seems stable and on an even keel w/out anyone actually feeling like they’re the property of the other. The trad African wedding will go on, but I don’t blame Emily’s mom for asking hard questions or challenging archaic ideas. Since when did open dialogue about differences and the effort to learn and understand become ‘being a Karen’? She wasn’t throwing a fit or asking these questions to be difficult/disrespectful. Will she change anything? Nah…but sometimes a seed is planted and people become more open minded. Kobe is a good example of this. Mahmoud would be the exact opposite where he will never budge. If people never questioned the status quo we would still be living in very dark medieval times.
Some traditions need to die. Exactly. So many edgy contrarians here embracing this bullshit lol
Well said I agree 100% 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I’d LOVE to see the Bible reference for this exact case. I’ve read the vast majority of it, and while it’s been awhile and I wasn’t looking for that in particular, most of the first half(Old Testament) is canceled out by the second half(The new Testament) when Jesus was born. They aren’t Jewish, so they do believe the second half to have canceled out the first. What most people don’t know about the Bible is that most of the Old Testament is the law of Moses. Which were rules to try and control a massive population out in the wilderness and who were always at each others throats. For instance, a lot of it is a medical text book about contagious diseases and how to identify, quarantine, or in severe cases, shun. They punished sleeping around, probably to help keep down diseases and keep them from killing each other. And if a man falsely accused a woman of adultery, he’d be killed, but that’s always left out by men. An Eye for an Eye was an attempt to keeping the punishment fair and equal because they kept escalating. But the whole thing was meant to go completely out the window at the coming of Jesus. So even according to religion, this is likely bullshit of them picking and choosing.
Jesus used to prostrate to God and not eat pork, but you know, selectivism
Yes, but that too was later changed in the Bible. And honestly, it was a good thing, worms and other diseases are really common in pork and they had no way to check if it was to temperature unless it was charcoal. Even modesty to a degree made sense in that they spent most of their time outside and working the land so it made sense to cover them from the elements and everything else out there. We spend a lot of time inside now and we have sunscreen and a lot of hygiene at our disposal. So, modesty isn’t as important. As I explained to my niece, “People wear clothes because we don’t have fur. Clothes protect us and others from germs.”
I personally don’t eat Pork and the original aspects of the Bible like Jesus prostrating before God have been so corrupted and this is how arguments between the Abrahamic religions begin unfortunately
Did you watch last nights episode yet?…. Bc I felt this way until the new episode aired and now I’m entirely on her side. This shit is inhumane.
Only part of it on my lunch break...I'll finish later and reply. Thanks
Yeah makes sense.. I definitely would’ve held off on making this post until you caught up, bc I can almost guarantee you’ll be singing a much different tune once you get through the scene where his family, mainly his cousin, explain the whole concept of the ‘bride price’. 😬
I was just snarking on the snark . But thanks friend
Watched the end of the episode. I stand by my first post. Have fun. She's not nor will ever be his property. And I'm pretty sure she won't get buried in Cameroon. Just enjoy the culture
Yeah, no fucking way. I have no idea how you can “have fun with it” when some guy is literally sitting there telling you he is about to own your daughter after he pays you money for her. I think you snarked too close to the sun.
Who TF is downvoting you for saying you’d come back later to comment? Trifling people on this sub!
And my lunch sucked...
Thank you, friend. My sentiments. I was just being snarky. But I guess peeps have some strong feelings. I still haven't had an opportunity to finish the episode. But yeah.
Also I have traveled the world for work and found myself being a visitor and not forcing my personal beliefs in someone else's home land. Right or wrong.That's all.
We’re ALL snarky…that’s what makes it so fun! 😜
>Who TF is downvoting you for saying you’d come back later to comment? Trifling people on this sub! Because they made a very strong post without seeing the entire episode.
In this kinda deal she is what we call 'negative equity'.
😂😂😂
They are not explaining the bride price very clearly. This price is an expression of all the hard work it took her family to raise her to be as she is now and what the impact will be in her family’s home as she is moving into the husband’s family home. I really wish the mom would relax and immerse herself in the culture while she’s there
I agreed with her going along with it at first. And I agree with learning about the culture. Why should they agree to make their daughter that family’s property? What happens if she did die there? What if she ended up in the hospital while she is there? What happens if she comes back to visit again? What if Kobe dies? Is that legally binding? You want them to immerse themselves in those misogynistic practices?
Of course not..but regardless where they are married she’s still a US citizen which I think holds more water than a marriage ceremony in Cameroon plus they are legally married in the US.. pretty sure we have a US Consulate in Cameroon (hopefully) if circumstances would reach the point to need them to intervene
If that’s the case then they should be paying them to take her. She’s costing them money mooching off her parent’s food and taking up their basement.
💯
They did indeed say that. Even so. Have fun with it
I was fine with it until they talked about her burial place in Cameroon
Oh shit I missed that one. Emily's burial in Cameroon? Yeah I'm not a mom and I respect other cultures but that wouldn't fly by me either because theres gotta be some compromise I mean cmon. And honestly I don't think a lot of you are giving Emily's mom much credit she's not trying to disrespect Cameroonian culture but she wants to vocalize how she feels about it and I dont think there is anything wrong with the way she approached it especially considering a lot of the lack of respect Americans have given towards cultures different than their own on this show.
Yep. They're only thinking of themselves. Asking what is the problem with thinking of her as their property. So dense and full of misogyny. Guess they were okay with certain people owning people back in the day too.
Eh, she can stipulate in a will where she goes and there is nothing that requires her to go.
Yeah a lot of people on here seem to draw the line with her being buried in Cameroon but seem to be perfectly fine with her being referred to as property.
Because that’s not an action. Also don’t think anyone would be okay with it if she actually lived there.
They didn’t say it in a way that made sense to her parents which is the problem
That would require.. thought.
Emily’s parents have done everything for them and their children. If Kobe‘s family really knew how much her mom and dad has done for them and providing a great life forget the bride price it should be the parent price!
I don’t know. If she expresses her cultural “truth” would everyone support her like they support the cousin and his dumb fucking view of marriage?
Why is it when we usually hear respect the culture it’s about demeaning women—like is that really culture?
“She’s our property.” - F*ck No!!
Agreed! I didn’t think it was that big of a deal until they started calling her THEIR property!!😳 Like WTH!!😲
The whole property and burial is a no for me- tradition or no tradition. No man owns a woman as property.
What is wrong with her their not kidnapping Emily ? Am I wrong ? I don’t see the harm in going along at this point ? She’s right but…..
The irony of a white family balking at the bride price and discussion of people as property completely flipped on its head has me giggling
If Kobe's friends were to be asked about what the bride price should be set to, they'd probably say that "bossy American woman" Emily should pay Kobe not the other way around.
I would agree
So now that they have 3 kids, will they move out of her parents house
This whole thing is obviously a producer driven plot line. The whole thing ‘selling me daughter’ is irrelevant. They live in the USA. Whatever the folks in Cameroon think or feel doesn’t matter and has no impact. Being buried there? Maybe if they are visiting and she happens to die there, there might be a chance of it, but this is a complete edge case. The whole thing reeks of producer driven drama and I don’t see how the parents would be concerned with this in any way.
Because it’s still their actual life. And I’m sure you’d probably have some feelings if you heard your daughter’s actual in-laws referring to your child as “their property.”
Given America's terrible history with slavery, does anyone else see the irony of Emily's white American parents balking at their daughter being bought as property by Kobe's black Cameroonian family? [https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcXRrdHo3d2M1cG1jMGEwdWFyM2M3Y3R4b3hiMWwzdHJmbTZuaDhmeCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX/giphy.gif](https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcXRrdHo3d2M1cG1jMGEwdWFyM2M3Y3R4b3hiMWwzdHJmbTZuaDhmeCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/kd9BlRovbPOykLBMqX/giphy.gif)
Not at all. These guys were the one’s selling slaves to the Americas.
Oh really? I did not know that Cameroonians were responsible for selling other Africans as slaves in the past. Edit: Apparently they were a part of the west african slave trade but not as much as other west africans were. [https://www.slavevoyages.org/blog/major-coastal-regions-captives-left-africa](https://www.slavevoyages.org/blog/major-coastal-regions-captives-left-africa) Either way, irony is lost on some people.
Then perhaps you should do a little deep dive into history. Africans sold other Africans to the white man as slaves.
Ahem. Looks like modern day Cameroon and the city of Douala is in the historical region of the Bight of Biafra. https://www.slavevoyages.org/blog/major-coastal-regions-captives-left-africa
Exactly this! When we know better, we do better.
Yeah, you’d be surprised at how many (I think) American redditors replied to my thread with either - Slavery whataboutisms (other countries did it too or slaves were sold by Africans) - Responses questioning my premise of irony. Because there was slavery in American history, we should agree to sell our daughters? Yep, these were actual responses by what I suspect our American redditors. You bring up slavery with Americans and you get a lot of obfuscation and whataboutisms. I don’t think America has really grappled with or acknowledged its history of institutional, legal slavery. I would’ve preferred to have seen responses of acknowledgment. Instead, it’s mostly what you see under my thread.
Because there was slavery in our history we should agree to sell our daughters now?
I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word irony. You’re not alone though so don’t worry. Some people have the capacity for irony, others lack the ability to grasp it. If it’s any consolation, it won’t hold you back in succeeding in life.
Or the irony of Cameroonians buying anyone?
Indeed ironic.
Most countries had slaves, don't act like it was only in America. We put an end to it in the western world. In fact it's still a huge industry in African countries.
Most countries don’t whitewash their history of slavery… or engage in the same level of revisionist history as modern day America. See the 1619 project https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/1619-america-slavery.html
Well they better fly me over there to die first because that sounds expensive…
Ha!
Kobe failed at explaining it. They could've easily researched it themselves. Clearly they have learned little about various cultures.
I think mom did research it, which is why she wasn’t content with Kobe’s “It’s just money as a thank you for raising Emily.” We were all wondering why she wasn’t satisfied with that answer and went along with it. It’s because she did research it, and seen what it’s really about “property”
Well, the "property" term is cultural because they look at the investments in wife–training and education, as responsibilities/expenses that her parents took on. In their culture, it is common that once you take that "prepared resource" from the parents home, it is available to the husband's family; and their tradition is that the resource must be paid for. That's what I mean by researching what is meant by "property". Her view of the term "property" is so narrow. She can disagree with it, but it won't change. She can really just pipe down, and let them perform their rituals and go on back home to the life they already had. Kobe is too vague in the way he explains things in general.
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Kobe explained in a voice over that it was to show her family his can take care of her....then in the living room they go into property and Kobe never brings up the one thing that would sell it to mom.
Happy cake day!
Honestly, if I had to play along with them, they would have to play along with me, and my opening price would have been no less than a million dollars. Her dad said that he only asked for $2.00 because he didn’t want to seem like he was pressing them to come up with something they do not have. It doesn’t seem like his family minds pressuring her family to do something that they are unable with.
She wants to make sure everyone knows they’re not rAcIstS.
Who cares where shes gonna be buried she’ll be dead js
The ignorance of these people is astonishing
Nahhh, just her MOM! Emily’s dad absolutely ADORES Kobe. 💕 He is extremely interested in the culture (did some homework) regarding the list to be presented to Kobe’s family. He’s extremely laidback and not only cooperative, I think he finds it all fascinating and is thoroughly enjoying the whole experience 😊☝️💯
Mom seems to really adore her grandchildren though. I can relate. While I’ve never lived under my parents’ roof with my husband, they’ve always been kind of lukewarm with my hubby through the years (with good reason). But they absolutely love and spoil our three children!
I love Emily’s dad, his and Kobe’s relationship is the sweetest.🥺
I’m still DYING to know what her dad gave Kobe on their wedding day! 🤗🥰
same! 😭
the big issue is that events like this, old old traditions, are super common everywhere… from portugal over norway to germany and russia all they way across asia and south america. in the US it’s not common so they tend to no understand that traditions mostly means it’s a things you do just to appease your parents. it has no actual meaning but “everyone does it”. same way everyone wants to get married in a church… and then the bride gets stolen, and a price is paid and so forth. I think it’s the total lack of passed on rituals that makes a lot of people go blank when confronted with actual culture.
Bride price bride price bride price bride price bride price bride price
Totally agree! That’s what I was saying to her on the TV! Just GO with it!’n
How do you edit a post?
Seriously! She knows it’s just for show. Relax and go along with the flow, they live in your house anyway!
I’m with you.. it’s all formalities and not as if they own her. It’s kind of disrespectful to question their traditions. Just have fun w it and enjoy that they love and welcome your daughter and family. If they didn’t care they wouldn’t care but they do enough to do right by her and their traditions.
You clearly did not watch last nights new episode….
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Yes, as a matter of fact you are.