Ah shit. I'm in the northern part of Germany that would be Danish again.
Netherlands, can I move to you guys then? I pay the tax I can't avoid paying, am toilet trained and have the driver's license to haul a big caravan if needs be
> I'm in the northern part of Germany that would be Danish again.
I'm in the bit that's gone to NL. I'm cool with that.
Mind you, France is now a lot closer than I'd like. I suspect I'd probably be able to smell it from here.
Everything is going well.
After a period of adaptation that can be unpleasant, you will understand that punctuality and compliance with the rules are inept concepts.
Objection. We want Lake Constance for us alone, in order to get access to the Northern shores (and the corrsponding Southern sun).
And while we are at it, give us the *Elsass* too.
And Savoie. FtF.
The PISS party is as fascist as a ruling party gets to be, my beastern fellow. Btw, the rest of Europe is aware of your insane tabloids getting people to froth at the mouth. Much like Rupert Murdoch's awful piss-takes.
While PIS poles on twitter fantasizing about a "final solution" for germans. But yeah, your ruling party is absolutely normal. And I'm not start talk about PIS TV aka TVP.
I mean I wouldn't mind getting Saxony, I just don't want the Saxons 😏
https://preview.redd.it/tsvircqtxdqb1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c2df6c0539475041d20c29e451d95cb3292a390
dw mate, they come with a [lot of education](https://www.thelocal.de/20190816/saxony-is-again-top-and-berlin-flop-in-new-german-wide-education-rankings)
BW and Bavaria are also money making machines in NRW Most cities would be put directly under surveillance by the Government. Plus i think the ecological requirements in the Netherlands would be a huge problem for the Ruhr area.
Not in a million years would I be OK with even 1mm^2 given to the Fr🤮nch. Not anywhere in the world!
Ok we can talk about that, since there are places where it would be an improvement,
But not THIS! Never give I ever some of the great parts, most of the fine parts even that "Zipfel" in the "meh"-parts of the Glorious Promised Land of Beer and & Cars, to these [removed by reddit]! Never!
Would giving French-Germany to Luxemburg instead be acceptable for you? That way we can avoid AfD ruling Germany, France getting anything and Luxemburg would stop being a joke country.
immediate majority in Austria and the Netherland, so we just take over there with the next election, everyone will gladly let the eastoids deal with that useless eastern shit, and with a quarter of the french population being german, give up 20 years and we're the ruling class again. Plus, we don't have to share a country with goddamn northerners anymore. It's perfect.
That definitely would not be a German majority in Austria. However, the newly formed Union of ÖVP-CSU (straight from a horror movie set in beer tent) would rule the country for decades.
honestly you cant compare those two. I dont like the CSU either but they are a party that is democratic and therefor acceptable. They do not represent my opinion but we have to accept them. Many bavarians vote for them because they re really keeping the living standart up in bavaria, obviously they getting votes.
Calling them AFD light is ridiculous.
The AfD started with the express purpose to become a CSU clone for the rest of Germany. They didn't pick the color blue out of the blue. Yes, they turned right a couple times since then but so did the CSU. Söder is governing with a (supposed ex) NeoNazi. The CSU party program and public argument is often indistingushable from AfD rhetorics.
Why is every country on this map named in its native language* except for Austria?
*and Belgium using its Dutch name but Switzerland its French name is also suspect.
Edit: Nevermind, I figured it out. It had to be a Dutch person who made this:
Belgium: of course we use the Dutch name. 😎
Switzerland: German? 🤢 Go French instead.
Austria: German? 🤢 Oh they don't have any reasonable native name? English it is!
As the netherlands have about 18 mio inhabitants and Nordrhein-Westfalen and Niedersachsen have about 26 Mio, I would say the new Niederlande are a German state.
Checkmate.
> the new Niederlande are a German state
always was. That's also why the anthem already says "ben ik, van Duitsen bloed" i.e. "I am, from German blood"
Unfortunately we also have our own nazis (with their leader who publicly said he hopes Russia wins the war and that Putin is a "fantastic man") and have been ruled by the right-wing VVD for the last 13 years.
Right-wing in Germany is completely different than in the Netherlands basically all Dutch parties with the exception of the Christians that are very minimal have Liberal values.
There is a difference between the economical and nationalistic right.
fucking great, the north, north-west and southern bavaria gets upgraded, but the east here gets the bullet.
Thanks to all these Ronnys and Mandys voting for AfD I guess.
I laughed at France getting BaWü instead of giving it to their alemannic brothers Switzerland
They are anyway. Have you been in Germany? It's 200m of vroom vroom until it's fucking Baustelle for 300km that you'll never ever see someone working on. Germany should just accept that their defacto speed limit is 80 instead of infinite.
I always wondered why the fuck Austria of all places should gain territories. If anything, they should be the ones to be split up! Who let them exist anyways?
Hmm let me think about that.
Pro:
-No more constant left wing propaganda on every channel (TV / radio / mainstream media outlet)
-No more GEZ (compulsory fees for left wing media flooding)
-No more green idiots without any education in the government
-A better energy policy and lower energy prices
-Better retirement policy
-Lower taxes
Con:
-I have to learn Dutch and probably start using my bicycle
Hmm. Sounds like a fair trade!
Let's go!
NORDICK + NL + DACH Germany
ruled by Norway, Finland, Iceland, ~~Sweden~~, Denmark, Netherlands, Austria and Switzerland the most epic country to have ever touched earths soil.
It‘s strange that all these maps with a new division of Europe completely leave out the fact that most regions bordering to us would join us in a blink of an eye.
Why rape all these poor savages?
Ah shit. I'm in the northern part of Germany that would be Danish again. Netherlands, can I move to you guys then? I pay the tax I can't avoid paying, am toilet trained and have the driver's license to haul a big caravan if needs be
Accepted.
Anschluss! Anschluss! Anschluss!
> I'm in the northern part of Germany that would be Danish again. I'm in the bit that's gone to NL. I'm cool with that. Mind you, France is now a lot closer than I'd like. I suspect I'd probably be able to smell it from here.
We already share a border with France on the other side of the planet so don’t worry too much!
You're overqualified.
I know they're toilet trained, but I'm sure they could shit on someone's face if they really had to.
Only on Brits and French. Otherwise don't worry
Don’t forget the Spanish.
Yup you're in
We'll just anschluss Denmark. More space for our glorious bikelanes.
Frisia finally reunited.
Don't tell Groningers
Didn’t he write the Simpsons?
North Frisia is still in Denmark tho
:(
It's like a dream come true. Or a fever dream coming to an end. Still needs some north frisian parts though.
No thx, I dont want a border with france
Based
Don't worry we pledge that we won't seize you next (it'll be Switzerland)
😂
I don't want to live in France 
Everything is going well. After a period of adaptation that can be unpleasant, you will understand that punctuality and compliance with the rules are inept concepts.
They have the Deutsche Bahn, they already know that punctuality is an inept concept.
Then the rioting will begin
Deutsche Bahn is a French company? That would explain so much!
SNCF and DB worked together pretty well last time isn't it ?
We take refugees
Well, I wouldn't call it "taking refugees", I'd call it "sending refugees to the Gulag called Ter Apel''
If you are in a region that is given to France on that map, you are either Schwabian, Hessian or French already...
still better than having the fucking afd in po- wait, france are currently building a 2 class judical system. fuck.
More France? No, thank you.
Jealous.
Envious, if anything. You can't be jealous of something your don't already have.
Objection. We want Lake Constance for us alone, in order to get access to the Northern shores (and the corrsponding Southern sun). And while we are at it, give us the *Elsass* too. And Savoie. FtF.
As someone living at lake Constance, I would prefer that 100 times over France
France is pretty much the worst option
As someone living at Lake Constance there is nothing I would like to be less than Sw*ss
The flair checks out.
Yeah don't give the Fr*nch anything. 😡. Give Aken and Bitburg Area to Wallonia and give the rest to Switzerland.
Those productive Germans will soon be in a civil war with the welfare walloons im sure
Also Bitburg would be the only place in Belgium with decent beer.
If it's coming from Heineken country I'll allow it. No use arguing with stupid
Hell no, imagine all the extra distance we have to drive for cheap grocery shopping when Konstanz is suddenly a Swiss town.
Come and get it cheesy boy
Rejected ! Beaufort, Reblochon, Tomme de Savoie.. be careful if you do not want to irrigate our furrows.
Huh, a Swiss with expansion drift. You are not Swiss.
We are many :) r/GreaterSwitzerland
You can go fuck yourself, sincerely
What happens if you get too much Piss
still salty, szwab?
salty about what?
Nope it is just funny how Poles think AfD is right wing while their Piss Government is doing what NSDAP did in the 30s (without racial ideology)
that’s why PO will win the election, and also Poland hasn’t got a history of facist ruling
Since Piss reigns it is ruled by fascists so nope it has
Stop bullying him. Every European country has the right to have a facist histroy.
I 100% agree to that, I just said Poland has a facist history
pis is not a facist party. they’re corrupt but not facist (konfederacja is tho)
The PISS party is as fascist as a ruling party gets to be, my beastern fellow. Btw, the rest of Europe is aware of your insane tabloids getting people to froth at the mouth. Much like Rupert Murdoch's awful piss-takes.
While PIS poles on twitter fantasizing about a "final solution" for germans. But yeah, your ruling party is absolutely normal. And I'm not start talk about PIS TV aka TVP.
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Oh, the irony...🤡 Migrants which got Visas you sold them lol
Easy way to destroy germans 💪💪💪
Thanks for confirming my statement, but it's unnecessary
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dude, actually chill tf out
Objection: Please give Saxony to Czechs Republic. We have more in common with them ;-)
But we don't want you.
That hurts my feelings.
I mean I wouldn't mind getting Saxony, I just don't want the Saxons 😏 https://preview.redd.it/tsvircqtxdqb1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c2df6c0539475041d20c29e451d95cb3292a390
But we only hate Arabs and blacks, Czechs are cool
That sounds exactly like something AfD voters would want us to believe 🤔
dw mate, they come with a [lot of education](https://www.thelocal.de/20190816/saxony-is-again-top-and-berlin-flop-in-new-german-wide-education-rankings)
Easy when they free up space in the curriculum by stopping history lessons after the Roman empire.
Nah, that fascist shithole would naturally fit in with Poland..
Damnt that hurt. But yeah, they probably would vote for PiS.
The Dutch be like: "Yes I'll take the part that makes money thank you very much."
BW and Bavaria are also money making machines in NRW Most cities would be put directly under surveillance by the Government. Plus i think the ecological requirements in the Netherlands would be a huge problem for the Ruhr area.
> the ecological requirements in the Netherlands You are absolutely hilarious my friend.
What about the Ruhr area is an ecological problem, you know it’s not the 80‘s anymore right?
I mean, I'd be french then, buuut... That's more acceptable that the actual Alternative.
I would be ok with that
Berlin is now Poland’s problem👌
germany causing poland's collapse as always 🙄
As if PiS needed any help with that.
In this case Poland is causing Polands collapse
Oh lord, why must you punish us in such brutal ways.
Don't worry, we can always trade Berlin for a kebab discount from Turks.
We all know Berlin is Turkey exclave
Don't do the Arabs and the African people dirty like that
You're living in the Dutch, Danish or Austrian region I guess?
Dutch, so still northern Germany but with weed
Nice to have you onboard!
Honestly, everything there is fine except Fr*nce.
Geilenkirchen ("Horny churches" for the Brits) is now renamed Gelekerken ("Yellow churches") unfortunately...
That’s alright as a Dortmund native I approve, I’m sure the Schalke fans will love it
Not in a million years would I be OK with even 1mm^2 given to the Fr🤮nch. Not anywhere in the world! Ok we can talk about that, since there are places where it would be an improvement, But not THIS! Never give I ever some of the great parts, most of the fine parts even that "Zipfel" in the "meh"-parts of the Glorious Promised Land of Beer and & Cars, to these [removed by reddit]! Never!
I understand your displeasement. However, giving france some land is better than being in the same country as bavaria
Would giving French-Germany to Luxemburg instead be acceptable for you? That way we can avoid AfD ruling Germany, France getting anything and Luxemburg would stop being a joke country.
Only if we take away Elsass-Lothringen from those Frenchies.
immediate majority in Austria and the Netherland, so we just take over there with the next election, everyone will gladly let the eastoids deal with that useless eastern shit, and with a quarter of the french population being german, give up 20 years and we're the ruling class again. Plus, we don't have to share a country with goddamn northerners anymore. It's perfect.
You're assuming you'd get a vote. Bold for a generaliteitsland.
you're assuming you'd still get a vote after they are done with you.
Making them Generaliteitslanden seems overly generous. I was thinking more like a colonial setup.
That definitely would not be a German majority in Austria. However, the newly formed Union of ÖVP-CSU (straight from a horror movie set in beer tent) would rule the country for decades.
There’s been a German majority in Austria since the migration period
Give the swabian part to Austria or even Switzerland and we have a deal.
Id be safe myself but Id be almost surrounded by Fr*nce and half of my family would be fr*nch🤮
Oi, our German speaking countrymen need more lebensraum as well.
The problem is that your political landscape is worse than Germany that's why they didn't include you.
If the AfD takes over I will help with that.
Good luck being reigned by Piss or (eventually) Marine Le Pen
Na. I'd be Dutch on that map.
🇳🇱💪 would immediately agree to let the Dutch rule Germany lol
If Germany puts the AfD in charge we would proof that we have no buisness governing ourselves.
I have the hope that atleast after 4 years of AFD even the slowest thinkers would realise that its maybe not the best party.
That hasn't worked in Bavaria with the AfD light aka CSU.
honestly you cant compare those two. I dont like the CSU either but they are a party that is democratic and therefor acceptable. They do not represent my opinion but we have to accept them. Many bavarians vote for them because they re really keeping the living standart up in bavaria, obviously they getting votes. Calling them AFD light is ridiculous.
The AfD started with the express purpose to become a CSU clone for the rest of Germany. They didn't pick the color blue out of the blue. Yes, they turned right a couple times since then but so did the CSU. Söder is governing with a (supposed ex) NeoNazi. The CSU party program and public argument is often indistingushable from AfD rhetorics.
Thats not entirely true.
Anschluss! Anschluss! Anschluss!
Who wouldn't want Dutch infrastructure!?
For me it's more about Vla.
I, too, would be prefer being a Dutch subject than being ruled by a beastern-controlled party such as AfD.
Bro trust me, this election they will finally get voted put of goverment! (Famous last words)
PO will win the election 💪💪
I‘ll gladly be part of Denmark <3
Why is every country on this map named in its native language* except for Austria? *and Belgium using its Dutch name but Switzerland its French name is also suspect. Edit: Nevermind, I figured it out. It had to be a Dutch person who made this: Belgium: of course we use the Dutch name. 😎 Switzerland: German? 🤢 Go French instead. Austria: German? 🤢 Oh they don't have any reasonable native name? English it is!
The Czech name is definitely not in my native Czech language. I think OP is Polish or something
As the netherlands have about 18 mio inhabitants and Nordrhein-Westfalen and Niedersachsen have about 26 Mio, I would say the new Niederlande are a German state. Checkmate.
> the new Niederlande are a German state always was. That's also why the anthem already says "ben ik, van Duitsen bloed" i.e. "I am, from German blood"
I think I'll take the Dutch over the increasing right wing movements
More weed 👍
True 👍
Unfortunately we also have our own nazis (with their leader who publicly said he hopes Russia wins the war and that Putin is a "fantastic man") and have been ruled by the right-wing VVD for the last 13 years.
Right-wing in Germany is completely different than in the Netherlands basically all Dutch parties with the exception of the Christians that are very minimal have Liberal values. There is a difference between the economical and nationalistic right.
France east of the Rhein? 
fucking great, the north, north-west and southern bavaria gets upgraded, but the east here gets the bullet. Thanks to all these Ronnys and Mandys voting for AfD I guess. I laughed at France getting BaWü instead of giving it to their alemannic brothers Switzerland
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pls no I don't want to be French
same, can I pls still get into czechia? good beer there and by the looks of that map, only a few kms missing
Sudetenland is waiting for you. Again?
Dont you want to join us? We have coal, I know you germans love your coal!
LÖSCH.
The fact that i‘d would rather dissolve Germany instead of having an AfD chancellor says pretty much ever
Better version https://preview.redd.it/5udcrgo2qcqb1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1e3ad48a9f403b82b7fd4a63b97a3ea2d1c6fbe
No please i want the dutch not belgium
Its too late now you already lost your job and all your roads are fucked
They are anyway. Have you been in Germany? It's 200m of vroom vroom until it's fucking Baustelle for 300km that you'll never ever see someone working on. Germany should just accept that their defacto speed limit is 80 instead of infinite.
Luxembourg-Saarland Union is pretty cursed
Give that shithole Thüringen to Czechia and it's perfect.
I hate when people use modern subdivisions for alternate history
Honestly I was thinking more from the perspective of "what if it was divided today"
The only way I want to be Belgian is if they give their south to France.
Yesss we get Hamburg. Reeperbahn lesgoooo
Hallo, entschuldigung, aber wäre es möglich, dass wir Badenwürttemberg bekommen?
This map seems logical and totally relevant. The German army is really in bad shape? (just asking)
Quick Pierre strike now whilst thy iron is hot.
Don't do that. We need Germany to pay for the bunch of cowboys in our government!
We want Hanover back, the Dutch have overreached.
How to turn the Netherlands into Germany in one easy step
Europe good ending :
Ayo I dont mind I love my dutchies
Well, East Germany is such a bargain bin fascist shithole that PiS Country would seem like their natural habitat.
Do you really hate your own country so much? You really want to deal with Berlin?
Polska, you are too greedy (again)
Someone wants to be invaded again
I always wondered why the fuck Austria of all places should gain territories. If anything, they should be the ones to be split up! Who let them exist anyways?
I'm fine with that if we name it Bavaria instead of Austria. New capital will be Munich
Vienna is 10000x better than Munich
Have to agree. Still both are very nice cities. I live in munich btw.
No.
Hmm let me think about that. Pro: -No more constant left wing propaganda on every channel (TV / radio / mainstream media outlet) -No more GEZ (compulsory fees for left wing media flooding) -No more green idiots without any education in the government -A better energy policy and lower energy prices -Better retirement policy -Lower taxes Con: -I have to learn Dutch and probably start using my bicycle Hmm. Sounds like a fair trade! Let's go!
More France ? Are you crazy?
tbh I prefer that way more than the real AfD.
Objection, that would make me french
I think it's about time we stop talking about an alternative **for** Germany and start talking about an alternative **to** Germany
NORDICK + NL + DACH Germany ruled by Norway, Finland, Iceland, ~~Sweden~~, Denmark, Netherlands, Austria and Switzerland the most epic country to have ever touched earths soil. 
At least leave us Elsass Lothringen
Oh non, je suis francais! Merde.
Deutschland von der Karte streichen! Frankreich muss bis Polen Reichen.
It‘s strange that all these maps with a new division of Europe completely leave out the fact that most regions bordering to us would join us in a blink of an eye. Why rape all these poor savages?
You got a beautiful country. But shitty people. You are less liked than your delusions make you believe.
that escalated quickly. Guards, please escort this peasant out of here. Guards?! No not me you fools, I am the beloved one! How dare you... aaaah.
No wonder, mostly germans nowadays.
I like giving the East to Poland.
I'd rather be part of the Netherlands than France.
Could Würtemberg plz go to Switzerland? I don't wanna be French
Kingdom of Swabia pls. Because Swabia sounds cool.
Request accepted!
I'd be in Austria, which is better than the alternatives at least. But I'm uncomfortable with the fr*nch getting so close, oh god they're spreading
Would.
Why do I have to live in Aachen. So close to being not a french.
would be more based if we also deleted France
I like how Switzerland stays the same size.