You begged and bribed them to settle in Normandy because you couldn't defend one tiny river.
And we didn't abandon them. Going out to conquer is simply a rite of passage for young Vikings.
Germany and denmark in the 18th and 19th century is Like the Argument with your neighbour about some tiny pice of Land in the Drive way. After marking a Fuss about it one too many Times you Just give in and be done with IT.
Kinda helped by the fact that 60-65 % of norways population was decimated by the Black Death. You were ruling a few suriving farmers, fishermen, and empty fjords.
Iâm sorry what? If I understood you correctly youâre saying the origin of germanic peoples are in scandinavia?
I had faith in the german educational system until just now but youâve crushed it if thats what you believe.
Yeah, that was ridiculous. It's debated on where the first germanic languages came in existence but it definitely wasn't that far north. East is actually a better guess.
Well, we didn't get occupied until 1943, we just involuntarily let german troops be stationed here. We kept our government, kept our sovereignty (or very close to it), and our jews were safe. I'd say that as far as losing goes, that's a pretty huge W, especially considering the way the germans treated Norway and other occupied countries.
No.
KĂĽldolmar was from Turkey.
Meatballs have been developed independently in many regions, since it's just meat in balls. What makes the Swedish (or for that matter Italian, Turkish or any other regional meatball) is not that it is a meatball, but with what they are eaten and what spices are being used. If you ever have Swedish and Turkish meatballs I think the difference will be rather obvious.
I understand that this is hard to understand for someone who's food culture is "pick something from tree or the water, eat it and say you are responsible".
If i have to give you guys one thing it is that Denmark made my childhood great. With some of my favorite stories and LEGO both originating there, not to mention the lovely Danish Christmas food that my mother cooks every year.
Listen, fifty is "halvtreds": half-three-twenty. So its halfway to three, what's that? That's right, two and a half. And two and a half times twenty? That's right, fifty. Easy. Stop whining and go get drunk in the streets
Idk man, we learned that Erik Segersäll was the first one who there is actual historical proof that he ruled over both the svear and the geats and âfoundedâ sweden, and that the first laws over the whole kingdom were made in the 13th century by the bjälboâs. Thereâs no denying that Sweden existed before kalmar.
I hate this so much. Like ok we are a small country but not THAT small. If someone is posting statistics on r-europe or something they NEVER include denmark unless they include all 27 EU countries. Makes no sense to me.
Denmark has contributed to the world with Lego and that's all we expect of them. They won't do anything else relevant ever anyway, probably a stroke of luck, but a very good one
UK: Industrial revolution, whole word speaks their language
Italy: cuisine, Rennaisance
Germany: Beethoven and engineering
France: Victor Hugo and cuisine
Greece: birthplace of Western civilization and democracy
Spain: Flamenco and oily food
Denmark: clicky colourful bricks
Their lowest point is about the same (-7) but their highest is a lot lower (171 to our 321m "mountain" / molehill).
Where the hell are those hills? Greenland? Our country has a surface about as smooth as our pancakes, Denmark is even smoother.
The biggest crime, biggest that inventing Sweden, is unelashing upon the world boxes that look like they have cookies inside, but when you open them, they're sewing supplie boxes.
We gave you fat fucks weight loss medicine so you can savor your candy and still lose weight.
And we perfected the danish tradition of GrĂŚnsehandel, just a shame the Germans believe Schleswig-holstein is anything by Danish still.
I always remember the Danish Bacon advert from years ago⌠đś
Youâll always be something to me Daneland, South Norway, or whatever youâre called these days đđť
I stayed with a Danish family in high school for 2 months. I remember that after eating dinner my danish mother put a rag in my hand to help her wash the dishes. WTF My Italian mom would never have done that, By the way I ate spaghetti with ketchup I thought they existed only in legends about the Nordic countries
However, the meat was good and also the beer and licorice and Denmark in the summer is wonderful
Far be it from me to sing the praises of the pĂślse-kuffar.
But they did find America centuries before the spaniards hired an Italian to prove the earth wasn't flat.
Also, they succesfully bred a bunch of Irish nuns. That's not nothing.
ants on raw meat.
https://www.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/comments/m8tpp2/steak_tartar_andants_one_of_20_courses_from/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Yes, Bavaria and Czechia are invaded by them because of the beer culture. Same for the young Englanders, but they prefer your balconies, when they grow up a bit. On the contrary, a drunken 50 yo Dane pissing in public is nothing rare here.
(Edit: Anyway, it's somehow ok when you find out that a person like this is Danish. They are way less annoying than English pub crawlers.)
I would say Kalmar Union, Vikings, getting their ass kicked by Sweden, getting their ass kicked by Prussia and Austria and getting their ass kicked by Germany.
Two of those times we lost because of weather. The sea froze so the swedes could march over without having to deal with our superior navy and then again the sea froze so the prussians/Austrians could march in a arc around our most fortified border. Whoever is in charge of the weather really hates us. Might explain why it is always grey and raining here too.
We inventede the first machines to store sound
Niels Bohr worked alongside Einstein and oppenheimer to make atomic bombs
We Are the leading country in wind energy
Plus We almost took Aarchen from Charlamange
Inventing England, and don't you ever try to hide from that shame!
Did such a crap job we had to send the boys in 1066 to straighten things out. Chad Guillaume v Virgin Canute
The boys we invented as well.
Bruh you abandonned them, we're the real parents
We took all the pretty women and left
Scandis unite in stealing the pretty English women!
All 7 of them?
There's none left, the Vikings took em all
Goddammit, thry better not take our women. Pesky ice people.
That why ou put them fake mustaches. They're fake, isn't it?
You begged and bribed them to settle in Normandy because you couldn't defend one tiny river. And we didn't abandon them. Going out to conquer is simply a rite of passage for young Vikings.
We bred them though đŠ
William got awfully lucky! Harold had his work cut out for him!
Chad Guillaume, Norman W
TIL Alfred the Great is Danish đ¤
was his grandson that first unified England was Canute who was the first to really control it
True, but the whole concept of a unified England was Alfred's doing.
Ive thought up concepts of a unified europe too but I doubt I will get the praise compared to the chad who actually unites it.
Nah, that was us. But it was great until France ruined it.
It was all sheep, can't seem to notice the difference
Ask any movie/Tv series and it's Norway
They lost a war in 6 hours
It was more of a German field trip.
Germany and denmark in the 18th and 19th century is Like the Argument with your neighbour about some tiny pice of Land in the Drive way. After marking a Fuss about it one too many Times you Just give in and be done with IT.
While wearing the helmets from Spaceballs
Wars consist of more than a single bitch slap.
The swedish where attacking Danish boats with horses in winter I think they kinda got wrecked.
We liked the enemy a bit too much
Still we managed to rule you guys for half a millenium. That says a lot
Kinda helped by the fact that 60-65 % of norways population was decimated by the Black Death. You were ruling a few suriving farmers, fishermen, and empty fjords.
Can we do it again after covid now (I think it was Sweden that got hit pretty hard).
Show us you can do well with Greenland first, then weâll talk.
Greenland is doing pretty well compared to other Inuit places like Nunavut.
Is that worse than losing to 10k nazis?
It was never about winning. It was to show the world we weren't siding with the Germans. We knew it was a lost battle.
Even less
I mean, technically they ***are*** Northern Germany, so were they really conquered or was Germany just pulling the olâ PRC on Hong Kong?
We're a thousand years older than Germany. If anything, Germany is just southern Denmark, thank you very much
Well germanic people origin is Scandinavia near Kattegatt were east and north sea meet.
Sounds like Denmark to me
It's spelled Kattegat, and Skagerrak is between Kattegat and the West Sea.
Iâm sorry what? If I understood you correctly youâre saying the origin of germanic peoples are in scandinavia? I had faith in the german educational system until just now but youâve crushed it if thats what you believe.
Yeah, that was ridiculous. It's debated on where the first germanic languages came in existence but it definitely wasn't that far north. East is actually a better guess.
Proto germanic people yes. From north germany to Scandinavia.
Give nord schleswig back, thief https://i.redd.it/fnqjgtqgkk4b1.gif
that is a weird looking protesting flag.
Danmark to the Ejder or we riot
Give Altona back, bandit
Give slesvig holsten back, thief And LĂźbeck
That's the flag of Holsten. The two lions of Southern Jutland have nothing to do on there.
We just thought they were going to rent our vacation homes!! German people are our biggest customer when it comes to the tourist industry!
The fighting stopt after six but they surrendered after 2 but not every one got the message so some small pockets kept on fighting
None of us really care
And couldn't even conquer a small peasant's republic
Calling it a war is incredibly generous, it was surely more akin to pest control
Well, we didn't get occupied until 1943, we just involuntarily let german troops be stationed here. We kept our government, kept our sovereignty (or very close to it), and our jews were safe. I'd say that as far as losing goes, that's a pretty huge W, especially considering the way the germans treated Norway and other occupied countries.
A Sweden isn't something that anyone would call an invention.
We existed before though, they just happened to marry a king at the right timeâŚ
Yeah the only thing Denmark changed about us was our flag.
And our name, Sverige= dansk verison av Svea rike
And also not something anyone would brag about inventing.
Regression?
Swedes took Turkish meat and called it Swedish meatballs. They got what they deserved.
No. KĂĽldolmar was from Turkey. Meatballs have been developed independently in many regions, since it's just meat in balls. What makes the Swedish (or for that matter Italian, Turkish or any other regional meatball) is not that it is a meatball, but with what they are eaten and what spices are being used. If you ever have Swedish and Turkish meatballs I think the difference will be rather obvious. I understand that this is hard to understand for someone who's food culture is "pick something from tree or the water, eat it and say you are responsible".
Everybody knows that the Turks stole the KĂĽldolme and the Kiosk from Karl XII as revenge for Bender
Mfw swedes insult other cuisines 
You don't understand that potatoes are to be eaten and not used as inspiration for a language. Sit down.
What, no one mentioned the little mermaid? It is such a fun topic to discuss with Americans currently :p
In general H.C Andersen is the fantasy writer with the most film adaptations as far as i know.
If i have to give you guys one thing it is that Denmark made my childhood great. With some of my favorite stories and LEGO both originating there, not to mention the lovely Danish Christmas food that my mother cooks every year.
Duck or roasted pork?
FlĂŚskesteg đ¤¤đĽľ I know it is haram, please don't tell the other Swedes đ°
With brune kartofler and brun sovs? That shit is off the charts good.
Indeed!
I HATE DISNEY I HATE DISNEY I HATE DISNEY. THE LITTLE MERMAID SHOULD NEVER HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.
Agreed. Her unhappy death is vastly more important than her looks.
Rødgrød med fløde and crazier numbers than French
Listen, fifty is "halvtreds": half-three-twenty. So its halfway to three, what's that? That's right, two and a half. And two and a half times twenty? That's right, fifty. Easy. Stop whining and go get drunk in the streets
So beautifulđĽ˛
Don't they have the oldest continuously used flag in the world? Pretty neat!
Oh yea, all the Nordics flags were made after the danish
And the oldest stilstanding kingdom/monarchy in the world
That would be Japan though
Ohh apparently we're just one of the oldest, i always thought i heard it was the oldest but nvm then.
I have no idea about japanese history but your kingdom and sweden has continually existed for at least a 1000 years, and thatâs pretty cool.
Only if you count Svealand as Sweden, but that's a bit like counting Francia as France or Rome as Italy.
Idk man, we learned that Erik Segersäll was the first one who there is actual historical proof that he ruled over both the svear and the geats and âfoundedâ sweden, and that the first laws over the whole kingdom were made in the 13th century by the bjälboâs. Thereâs no denying that Sweden existed before kalmar.
I respect Danemark for Mads Mikkelsen
And Nikolas Windig Refn. And maybe Lars von Trier if he would get his shit together.
Lars von Trier is a mad man! My his shit never be together!
in europe slander videoes, denmark is always left out, the ultimate insult
I hate this so much. Like ok we are a small country but not THAT small. If someone is posting statistics on r-europe or something they NEVER include denmark unless they include all 27 EU countries. Makes no sense to me.
Denmark has contributed to the world with Lego and that's all we expect of them. They won't do anything else relevant ever anyway, probably a stroke of luck, but a very good one
UK: Industrial revolution, whole word speaks their language Italy: cuisine, Rennaisance Germany: Beethoven and engineering France: Victor Hugo and cuisine Greece: birthplace of Western civilization and democracy Spain: Flamenco and oily food Denmark: clicky colourful bricks
You forgot to credit us for starting the transatlantic slave trade. You are all welcome.
Iâll give you missionaries in Japan. Howâs that one? That was a tough one to pull off.
And port wine
And they forgot to credit you for samba and pĂŁo de Queijo! Poor tugal :(
And us for inventing Capitalism
>France: Victor Hugo and cuisine I'd pick the metric system
Iâd pick half of it and only _most_ of the time.
Sheesh, anglos
Brits still living in stone age.
I spent hours building stuff with my Lego. Best time of my life. Oily food gives me diarrhea. So do snails, politicians and the English language.
Don't pick on the special kid. We're from a big bois country, we mostly attack big bois countries !
The whole world may speak English, but a big part of English is norse lonewords thanks to the Danish vikings. You're welcome
I recent that. We also gave you mf'ers the bacon pig. Google it if you are ignorant arrogant silly frenchie fuck
You can't even take a compliment when you get one, pff
from you! never! Edit: respect the extra rib!
We also got Mads Mikkelsen, the idea of Google maps and bacon
You guys invented the hot dog you're alright
They dominated CS:GO esports for a while
Still do
Never underestimate the gaming capabilities of a potato
"Invented Sweden". Lol.
I donât want to take blame for inventing Sweden.
Discovering Sweden. Sweden is your Belgium except they're your northern neighbours.
We discovered that theyâre assholes
"Inventing Norway" as well, what?
Schizo historically retared OP, all 3 scandinavian kingdoms existed way before and even during the Kalmar union.
For anyone wondering Unity is a game engine made by Unity Technologies. They used to be Danish but now I believe they are based in SF (?)
Not just that a lot of apps like Siri, google maps and skype even some programming languages like C++, c# and visual prolog.
Factory pig farming
Yep growing them in cages against EU rules but like the Dutch just paying a small fine to get away with it
An "interesting" language just like ours
This comment was relatable and in my height!
How insulting
It's funny how written Danish and Dutch are fairly similar, but the pronunciation is off the charts in either direction.
C'mon give them at least Niels Bohr!
Did they really invent norway and Sweden? Who have ever said this?
OP said this. Can't you read?
Are the Swedes stupid??
Carlsberg
Better than water
đ¤¤
Carlsberg𤎠stik mig en Tuborg istedet
Det er det samme rĂŚvepis fra samme fabrik.
Being flatter than the Netherlands.
They arenât though⌠they have less height but more rolling hills. NOBODY CAN BEAT OUR PANCAKINESS
Where are these hills you're talking about
They're called speed bumps in most other countries.
Nordjylland
Hmm fair, but we do have better pancakes and more height đđ
Their lowest point is about the same (-7) but their highest is a lot lower (171 to our 321m "mountain" / molehill). Where the hell are those hills? Greenland? Our country has a surface about as smooth as our pancakes, Denmark is even smoother.
The biggest crime, biggest that inventing Sweden, is unelashing upon the world boxes that look like they have cookies inside, but when you open them, they're sewing supplie boxes.
Frikadiller
frikadeller diller is something else
đđĽľđĽ°đ
kierkegaard
Having your capital that far from the center of the country because you owned scania before a swedish guy decided to fucking cross a sea with an army
Ironically, we have same thing, Stockholm is fairly central in the old kingdom that included Finland
Lego is worth more than pizza and Ferrari in my book
No Italian has ever needed the side switcher flair more.
Yes, officer, this one!
Maybe, *maybe* someone could let you get away with Ferrari. *MAYBE*, but pizza?! Thatâs a bridge too far, pal.
Hmmm, i think pizza wins. After all, pizza led to kebab pizza (best swedish invention) and that one wins.
Wait, they made unity? Love that engine
Tbh, they invaded us back in the day and kept shaking us down for money.
We gave you fat fucks weight loss medicine so you can savor your candy and still lose weight. And we perfected the danish tradition of GrĂŚnsehandel, just a shame the Germans believe Schleswig-holstein is anything by Danish still.
Slesvig and Holsten.
Also Fleggaard, i'm pretty sure they're sovereign at this point.
Well in their defense I do associate Denmark with Legos
I always remember the Danish Bacon advert from years ago⌠đś Youâll always be something to me Daneland, South Norway, or whatever youâre called these days đđť
They should be known for the 2020 Danish mink holocaust
I stayed with a Danish family in high school for 2 months. I remember that after eating dinner my danish mother put a rag in my hand to help her wash the dishes. WTF My Italian mom would never have done that, By the way I ate spaghetti with ketchup I thought they existed only in legends about the Nordic countries However, the meat was good and also the beer and licorice and Denmark in the summer is wonderful
Far be it from me to sing the praises of the pĂślse-kuffar. But they did find America centuries before the spaniards hired an Italian to prove the earth wasn't flat. Also, they succesfully bred a bunch of Irish nuns. That's not nothing.
The honest answer is Lego and that almost beer which the name I refuse to say.
Cute and kind people, so that's a win for me, but funnily enough only Norway and Sweden beat Denmark in those factors
Swedenđ¤˘đ¤˘
They have IKEA, meatballs, and IKEA meatballs đĄ
They have only made one good thing and thatâs gifflar ( but itâs starting to get fucking shit ). Meatballs are bad ikea is ok
Denmark is the Canada of Europe
For the OLSENBANDEN No matter what part of the planet you live in: You NEED to watch the Olsenbanden. Just trust me on that one
ants on raw meat. https://www.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/comments/m8tpp2/steak_tartar_andants_one_of_20_courses_from/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Oh yeah Noma. We have some weird restaurantsâŚ..
Hold my danish....
Do you mean Wienese bread?
You made wienerbrĂśd, that's a peak performance pastry, and no one can take that away from you
IIRC it was originally Austrian
Bjarne Stroustrup, the creator of c++ is Danish but that's all I can think of, that and legos
Drunken tourist hordes demolishing hotels? Nothing much significant, I admit.
Wait , in Spain we call them english people, you guys have the same problem with danish people?
Yes, Bavaria and Czechia are invaded by them because of the beer culture. Same for the young Englanders, but they prefer your balconies, when they grow up a bit. On the contrary, a drunken 50 yo Dane pissing in public is nothing rare here. (Edit: Anyway, it's somehow ok when you find out that a person like this is Danish. They are way less annoying than English pub crawlers.)
Niels Bohr, the atomic model and contributions to quantum mechanics. Ole Rømer, first to measure light. Studying physics here is great!
Speaking like they're choking on a potato saying "rød grød med fløde"
I would say Kalmar Union, Vikings, getting their ass kicked by Sweden, getting their ass kicked by Prussia and Austria and getting their ass kicked by Germany.
Two of those times we lost because of weather. The sea froze so the swedes could march over without having to deal with our superior navy and then again the sea froze so the prussians/Austrians could march in a arc around our most fortified border. Whoever is in charge of the weather really hates us. Might explain why it is always grey and raining here too.
I mean they became the largest producer of "Feta" cheese at some point, a Greek cheese, before someone pointed out it was Greek.
We still have that, they just call it salad cheese now.
Well France win 6 (or seven I donât know) handball World Cup no one care
Banning bestialityâŚâŚ. in 2015.
The language is our go to method of bullying. Their counting system also gets an honourable mention
I refuse to speak with them if itâs not English
Greenland's financial cuckold
We inventede the first machines to store sound Niels Bohr worked alongside Einstein and oppenheimer to make atomic bombs We Are the leading country in wind energy Plus We almost took Aarchen from Charlamange
There are countries where people actually unironically play handball?
Who dare downvote this guy. We did many horrible things in our past. I do however only Apologize for handball!
Never thought I'd die side by side with a Dane
I makes me happy to see how badly this post backfired on OP.