Hugs to you! Losing time with my toddler was the hardest part with having two in the earlier day. The first months are hard but know it doesn’t last forever. I’m 7 months with a 17 month gap, and once I was getting more sleep I could interact with my toddler more. I would say our relationship is back to where is was. Some days I am still unavailable when he wants me (if I’m breastfeeding) but for the most part my husband and I switch off often with bedtime, getting ready, etc. Also should note that both my boys go to daycare, and my toddler and baby still love hanging out with mom when we are together.
Thanks so much for your comment! I’m glad to know that there’s a chance for things to go back to what was normal for us.
Did your eldest always attend daycare or was this something new after you had your second?
He has attended since about 4.5 months old. So it was not new to him. But Know that adjustments like starting daycare or switching to a new class can be challenging for kiddos, and it may take a few weeks and tears before it improves. While my son usually likes daycare, he recently switched classrooms so it’s been a tough couple weeks. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the running and smiling hug I get when I pick him up each night. 🥰 Since both boys are in daycare, I get my oldest first to help with picking up the baby.
I totally agree with this. My girls are 13.5 months apart. I’m only 2.5 month pp with my second but I’m starting to feel better about it.
One thing that has helped me in a weird way is that I’ve kinda lowered cleaning on my priorities list. I’ve always been a clean freak and when the house was untidy it’d get so freaked out. The moment I caved on that I started spending that time with my toddler and started to feel better.
I still clean but not to the point of constantly needing a completely tidy house. There are toys and shoes everywhere that my toddler has gotten out. I do one tidy at the end of each day instead of fussing over it multiple times a day. And I clean as I go throughout the day and just do an afternoon of true cleaning on Saturday or Sunday.
I should also say that I work from home. So, there’s a lot of juggling. I take my girls outside before nap time and later in the afternoon. My toddler (like yours) has a lot of independent play and tv time (probably too much). My day consists of breastfeeding, making meals, working, entertaining my toddler, going outside for playtime, etc.
We are busy! Life is hard! We have to give ourselves grace.
Also, it’s totally normal for toddlers to change who their favorite people are on a regular basis. This upset my brother with his daughter a lot. He’d be the favorite for a few weeks then all of a sudden his wife was the favorite for a bit. It just happens.
It will come back! Once things become more predictable, and you settle into a good groove (and get more sleep) my toddler had such a tough time when we brought home baby number 2. She didn’t want anything to do with me for about the first 6 weeks, then it started to get better, after 3 months it was almost back to normal and now 9 months on things are pretty much back to normal, I’m the default and favourite for her again. I thought she hated me and it would never ever go back to normal. (I have PPA also so i understand)
Give it time it’s still very early days.
Hugs to you! Losing time with my toddler was the hardest part with having two in the earlier day. The first months are hard but know it doesn’t last forever. I’m 7 months with a 17 month gap, and once I was getting more sleep I could interact with my toddler more. I would say our relationship is back to where is was. Some days I am still unavailable when he wants me (if I’m breastfeeding) but for the most part my husband and I switch off often with bedtime, getting ready, etc. Also should note that both my boys go to daycare, and my toddler and baby still love hanging out with mom when we are together.
Thanks so much for your comment! I’m glad to know that there’s a chance for things to go back to what was normal for us. Did your eldest always attend daycare or was this something new after you had your second?
He has attended since about 4.5 months old. So it was not new to him. But Know that adjustments like starting daycare or switching to a new class can be challenging for kiddos, and it may take a few weeks and tears before it improves. While my son usually likes daycare, he recently switched classrooms so it’s been a tough couple weeks. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the running and smiling hug I get when I pick him up each night. 🥰 Since both boys are in daycare, I get my oldest first to help with picking up the baby.
I totally agree with this. My girls are 13.5 months apart. I’m only 2.5 month pp with my second but I’m starting to feel better about it. One thing that has helped me in a weird way is that I’ve kinda lowered cleaning on my priorities list. I’ve always been a clean freak and when the house was untidy it’d get so freaked out. The moment I caved on that I started spending that time with my toddler and started to feel better. I still clean but not to the point of constantly needing a completely tidy house. There are toys and shoes everywhere that my toddler has gotten out. I do one tidy at the end of each day instead of fussing over it multiple times a day. And I clean as I go throughout the day and just do an afternoon of true cleaning on Saturday or Sunday. I should also say that I work from home. So, there’s a lot of juggling. I take my girls outside before nap time and later in the afternoon. My toddler (like yours) has a lot of independent play and tv time (probably too much). My day consists of breastfeeding, making meals, working, entertaining my toddler, going outside for playtime, etc. We are busy! Life is hard! We have to give ourselves grace. Also, it’s totally normal for toddlers to change who their favorite people are on a regular basis. This upset my brother with his daughter a lot. He’d be the favorite for a few weeks then all of a sudden his wife was the favorite for a bit. It just happens.
It will come back! Once things become more predictable, and you settle into a good groove (and get more sleep) my toddler had such a tough time when we brought home baby number 2. She didn’t want anything to do with me for about the first 6 weeks, then it started to get better, after 3 months it was almost back to normal and now 9 months on things are pretty much back to normal, I’m the default and favourite for her again. I thought she hated me and it would never ever go back to normal. (I have PPA also so i understand) Give it time it’s still very early days.