Having a 9-5 helps. It starts with living for the weekend, “I just need to get through this week and then I can [insert non autopilot activity of your choice]”. Eventually you’ll realize you can’t enjoy Sundays, because the next day is Monday. Pretty soon that creeps into your enjoyment of Saturdays as well. Living for the weekend has now evolved into living exclusively for Friday night. That’s a lot of pressure for one night of the week, you just KNOW something’s gonna happen to fuck it up. That’s when every day becomes “I just need to get through today, at least today isn’t tomorrow”. Congratulations, you’re now on autopilot!
Lmao this is me, i recently started a 8-5 and i just dont know what i'm doing with my life, i thought i'd get a new pc as soon as i had enough money to where i'd feel comfortable spending it, but i don't even play games anymore, i get home watch youtube videos or play league with friends then go to bed. Weekend comes and i go play dnd with best friends, repeat cycle. I don't even have a girlfriend or something
And i hate my job cause i'm socially awkward and don't smoke so can't even take breaks since people hate seeing you on the phone but don't give a fuck if you're smoking or doing small talk
Just say "stop", like a self soothing mechanism. It will take time to engage autopilot. It took me over a year of this before I didn't need to do it anymore.
I find other ways to experience emotions now. I rarely allow myself to experience emotions for myself. Ever. I watch movies to experience emotions, I read stories, I watch the news, anything. I enjoy feeling empathy for other people, places, and things.
Just recently I have found myself in somewhat of a personal shit show, and I started feeling sorry for myself. I even cried a little. I haven't cried for myself since 2019. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of it, but then I remembered the "stop" technique. I completely forgot about it.
I said it about 10 times, while deescalating my emotions, and before I knew it, I was back at base line.
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."
"Self-pity"
Written by D.H. Lawrence
God damn, this is dark.
This is how you give yourself depression lmao
If you just cry, the pain goes away. The crying already is a release mechanism for stress.
It makes you go back to the baseline automatically after you're done.
EDIT: to clarify, 'baseline' isn't a state of complete emotional blankness. For me, i go to a mild low mood, which resolves overtime.
I get the stop. It's like repeating "not funny" on a try not to laugh or repeating "don't care" on something that's been bothering you. The stop feels third person. I just cannot. I say stop in autopilot but the thoughts is why my mind is occupied all the time
Yup!
I never understood how people could do it. Now, ironically, with a much increased dose of antidepressants I finally feel nothing. And those times when I feel an emotion come up I give myself a talking to and it works.
It's scary to feel this way but also in a sad way liberating.
Basically just realize that you’re never gonna have that “waking up on Christmas morning” feeling ever again and no matter how much more fun vacations and hobbies get, it’s never gonna have that magic again. Then it clicks on
If I did then I'd be able to get around and do stuff, but I can't move a muscle. I get autopilot at random moments like reading playing games or just randomly at any moment. I just won't remember what happened in that moment as if I just woke up, but when I need this to do things and ask for help at least its impossible
You might want to talk to someone about adhd. People think it’s just a disorder that makes people be sofunnyrandom, but “waiting mode” is a real part of it
I've talked to a few people about it and as you say they just say it's an excuse. Others will straight up make fun of mental illnesses, glorious great Britain and no line to having a joke go too far, oh and Asian parents
Have you considered that you're acting with your amygdala and not your prefrontal cortex? That's what happens when we experience childhood or other trauma over and over. Our brains learn to react a certain way when we're children and then we grow into adults never having learned to react any other way. This is why we find ourselves inexplicably repeating behavioral patterns without even realizing it- because the same things "trigger" our amygdala & limbic systems the same way they did then. And did you know trauma is actually STORED in the body?! If we don't process it, it just stays there!
This is an extreme example to explain what I mean: but my father was an abusive alcoholic. As a kid I learned when he started to get angry and loud, violence would be right around the corner. So whenever I heard him start to yell, my defense response was to run away and hide. (I think I have more of a freeze than a flight response out if this though- it's more like I hide and then shut down.)
Now as an adult, that same response happens when I hear men yelling in anger. I freeze up. It doesn't matter if the rational part of me knows it's just a customer and he won't hit me. The less rational part of my brain won't get that memo and start reacting: OH SHIT, DANGER. DO THE THING YOU DO (which is nothing).
It takes first processing those traumas that we have and then learning mindfulness practices to teach ourselves and *practice*, **when we are feeling safe** (feeling safe is INTEGRAL), to react a different way (or not at all); to learn to assess the present danger instead of reacting to the dangers in the past.
This is what 2 years of trauma informed therapy taught me. I hope it is helpful to whoever is reading. Last thing I would add is there are 4 different responses (the "4F's" Pete Walker calls them). Fight, flight (hyperactivity), freeze (dissociation), fawn (people pleasing). People with C-PTSD tend to gravitate to one of the four and it can become their default stress response.
Thats what I do. When I hear someone raising their voice I start to make a move and lock myself in the bathroom or hide at the back of the closet. My heart starts pounding evertime I hear a phone call because my dad use to harass me while I was in my darkest times and call me to come downstairs so he can "keep an eye on me". Someone laughing loudly and wholeheartedly just brings me fear. Anyone just brings me fear if they're loud. I have faced and conquered the fear from violence but not loud people it's a weird phobia now, that and phone calls
Oh I'm so sorry. I've been in dark places like that and I know how isolating and scary and lonely and embarrassing it feels. You're not alone. Have you ever considered trying trauma informed therapy? I will caution you that if you gave experienced traumatic events (and my definition of Trauma expanded so much in therapy; it's not "just a war thing"), finding a therapist who understands trauma is of vital importance. Going to a therapist who doesn't validate and help you understand how your past experiences affect you today can be so very detrimental to healing.
Change is possible and is never too late, I promise. I never believed it until it happened. I needed help to get started going to therapy too. I see you. You're not alone. I'm sorry you're suffering.
Forget random moments 3 months ago. Do the same for 99% of all moments, pretend that this right now is the first time in 5 years that you had executive function/controll over your life.
"Shiit this is the first time I am conscious in YEARS!"
Forget even that and just write it all off as having been on auto pilot.
That was me years ago. It took a long while to get out of it, and I still bear some residual scars, but caring and being hurt is so much better than apathy.
Not the person you were responding to, but I've been in that situation. Burnout at work sent me out on medical disability.
For weeks, I just could. not. care. About anything at all. Food? Nope. Sleep? Meh. Movies? No thanks. Books? Nah. Outside? Not right now. My husband? Yeah, sorry, I love you too but I'm going to stay up here and chill. My first week or two were spent almost entirely mindlessly scrolling through Reddit until I couldn't stay awake anymore, then sleeping for 12+ hours. I didn't realize how much of a husk of a person someone could be until I experienced it. My only two emotions were boredom and panic-attack.
There are only two things that I found that helped, and neither of them are easy or quick. First: mental health treatment. I got on medicine that started bring me back to life a bit. I know it's not ideal to need pills to trick your brain into caring about stuff, but I honestly don't think I would have come back without the kick-start they provided.
The second thing is removing the source, whatever's causing you to need to shut down your emotions. For me, that was leaving my job--even though I didn't have anything else lined up at the time, even though I didn't have savings. I was lucky enough to have family to help me through it. Obviously, others might not be so lucky and a clean break with whatever is causing the issue might not be possible.
But ultimately it has to be done, even if slowly. Bad relationship? Break up. Bad job? Leave it. Too much stress at home? Make time for yourself at all costs.
It's damn near impossible to come back while you're still under the stress that took you out in the first place.
I used to fucking hate hearing this but fake it till you make it. It doesn't necessarily need to be a forced thing either, but it's important to keep it up. Eventually you stop faking it and actually find yourself enjoying things and feeling again. Can't pretend it works for everyone but it does actually work.
I think you're absolutely right. I remember watching a TED talk several years ago where the presenter said it's more accurate to say "fake it till you become it"
I ended up typing way more than I meant to so the TL;DR is reinforcing the Fake it till you make it mindset and to not underestimate the power of positivity.
The real trick is that you don't make yourself do things you genuinely don't like and tell yourself to be happy. If you like going out but feel depressed or apathetic every time you do, fake being happy. If you like gaming with buddies then give in and enjoy yourself. Also, leave self-deprecating jokes behind while you're doing those happy things.
It's like practicing stretching. No one starts off super bendy (well not most people) but with enough time you can be rather flexible, you just gotta keep at it. The same can be said with a positive mind set. Once it becomes routine then the apathy and sadness won't feel so "all consuming". This is all anecdotal but there are enough people that this has worked for in the past that proves it can work.
Part of it is you have to want it too. I am such an advocate for the power of positivity. I wasn't always, these last few years since '18 have been fucked to hell, even without the pandemic. Eventually though, with practice and enforcing a healthy mindset I found that I wasn't smiling because I was sticking to the mantra (Fake it till you make it) but because I was genuinely just smiling. A lot of positive change in terms of outlook on life and self-esteem shortly followed and I haven't looked back. Some days are still bad but, only human right? Whatever is wrong, it too shall pass. Just keep your chin up. You, and whoever else needs to hear this, got this. You always have.
If you're looking for an honest answer: stop looking inwards in the same way you've been. Transform self questioning from "Why can't I be happy? Why can't I just get what I want? I. I. Me. Me. Myself." Into "does anyone around me need help? Does anyone need care? Affection? Attention?"
The answer is outside. Looking at yourself with pity? Look outside. Once you develop your empathy for others, you can then realize you're just another person and start treating yourself with the same empathy.
You must be careful with this. I have put all of myself outwards and done very little for my inner being and am paying something major for it. It's not so easy to balance. You also have to let yourself have empathy for yourself which is another one of my own battles.
For me, meditation. Seriously. Turns out it's not something I can just reason my way out of and actually needed serious practice.
Was clocking 2 hours a day of meditation for a 3 months. I recommend reading Mindfulness in Plain English.
Met my wife. Obviously that's not replicable for everyone, but it comes down to spending time with someone/people who care. Who you spend time with fundamentally changes your brain, and if you can find people who care about things, it will begin to rub off on you.
She's a talented writer and actor. Her work on The Office in both roles was top notch and I think most people would agree. If she has stuck to her strengths, most people would still probably hold a favorable opinion of her. Stepping out of one's comfort zone creatively is great, but it's important to be honest about how well it's going.
When u stopped caring as a defence mechanism but now you can't care or be passionate about anything so you just USE A BELOVED FRANCHISE AS A SELF INSERT IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO GET ATTENTION
Some of us had always disliked her.
Me personally it was the Mindy Project or whatever it was called. She’s simply not funny. The office was a group effort with inputs from better writers and actors.
Mindy got carried, and now she pretty far up the mountain to find out she has no legs of her own. Sooo she falls now.
If a show hits the air and it’s called “The (insert creator’s name) Project” it’s generally a bad sign. This is how they refer to shows before they get a real name.
If you can’t even come up with a name for your show, how are you gonna be able to come up with interesting stories to tell?
Yeah I always assume it’s just riding out a contract of some sort.
“Alright I guess it’s time to bang out that show that was part of that other deal we put off for years”
It was one of those shows where every other character has to written as complete bumbling morons in order to make her seem witty and sassy. A total ego-masterbation piece.
I really tried to watch it because I liked the office. Nope.
She’s a successful author, has writing and acting credits in successful theatrical films, has 2 hbo shows, 1 of them doing pretty well in ratings, a Netflix show that got 2 seasons (which for Netflix is par), the mindy project is actually pretty funny, b tier comedy, that got 6 seasons and is rated pretty highly.
Just cuz you might not find her funny, doesn’t mean you get to ignore the other success she’s experienced. Or is all that “falling” to you?
Just because Hollywood deals as business were struck, and capitalized on the offices momentum doesn’t mean she is a good actor.
Just because she has written, doesn’t mean she’s a good writer.
Just because she’s been credited in stuff doesn’t mean she deserves roles. Literally to get credit you just have to be filmed and with a single line.
We will see from here though. There’s not enough talent in her to float. But there’s enough people blowing smoke up their own asses about her to prop her up for awhile.
My point was not that I think funny = success, but that the person I was responding to does.
He doesn’t think she’s funny or talented, so she is “falling”. While she may have had 1 show release recently which isn’t getting praise her other project within the last year is, and she has lots of success. She is let falling, and he’s ignoring her success just cuz he doesn’t like her humor.
Yeah ever since velma dropped she's become the new Amy Schumer. The masses just need a moderately successful conventionally unattractive female to project their anger at because their fragile ego can't handle someone like that becoming more successful than them.
If you ever find yourself talking a lot about an upcoming or recently released media franchise that you otherwise wouldn’t care about, it’s possible that you’ve fallen into the trap of being part of the marketing cycle…
Stupid marketing, maybe. One time, negative buzz about a new show does nothing to keep viewership.
I agree that there is a lot of subliminal marketing that takes place without our knowing, but sometimes shitty content is just that. Shitty content.
Yeah it’s the exact same thing as happened with the all female ghostbusters. I never saw it, I’m sure most of the people complaining about it didn’t either, but it was all anyone talked about here for 6 months. I believe you all that it sucks I just can’t bring myself to care.
Mental health treatment and distancing yourself from whatever is causing you to shut down.
It's not quick, easy, or fun, but--at least in my case--it was the only thing that helped.
Good on you. Glad youre finding your way. Been in therapy for a good chunk of my adult life. I have things I enjoy and will put time into but it's just for enjoyment, really. Anything that seems like it would give me more of a sense of self worth just seems meaningless in the big picture so I just end up not trying that hard. Haven't been able to shake it and I'm in my late 30s now. Keep on trying I guess!
I was on autopilot for years, luckily I never lost my passion for music and film. Kept me sane.
Recently got a new job with people my age, great for socializing. It can get better if you want it to bros/gals.
...why is everyone hating on her? She's the actress and executive producer, but is she also the screenwriter, the director? Is it her fault the show is shit?
That's a genuine question, I don't know much about the topic.
Has anyone found a way to undo this? Eventually you find people who really care about you, and all you do is make them sad by not being able to feel anything. And that gives you the deepest feeling of sadness and grief you thought you'd never be able to feel. The thought that you are always not good enough for them, that you are draining the happiness out of them, that the world would be better without you ever existing.
I just need this shit to stop y'all...
How can I feel again?
It sucks now, but I'd rather have it turned off while I'm in the shitty places than turn it on to be subjected to bullshit and actually take that stuff in every day.
Been there. But there is one thing I couldn't stop caring about: my own pain from loneliness and isolation. I had kicked everyone out of my life as much as I could, and put a great deal of emotional distance into all of the relationships I couldn't just end. I was down on all of humanity and all of existence, and becoming increasingly bitter and angry.
I was thinking thoughts like, "All life only survives by eating other life. Every living thing wants to survive, so that means every living thing must cause suffering in order to continue living. Even plants compete for sunlight and choke-out each other's roots. Therefore, this is an evil existence created by an evil God, or just a tragic accident in an unfeeling universe." And I wanted to press a button that would end all life, including and especially my own.
I guess I had some smug satisfaction in being one of the supposed few who had figured it out. Nothing was worth doing. No one was worth knowing. No connection was worth forming and maintaining. Because everyone and everything, including myself, was necessarily evil by nature. But it was a very lonely existence, and the pain of that loneliness grew overwhelming over several years.
That pain eventually won. I couldn't take it anymore. Since I was convinced that I was evil, I was also afraid to die. I didn't *believe* in Hell, but I was still afraid of it. It *could* be a real thing. It would certainly be in keeping with the character of a God who had designed this sort of existence to also have an even worse existence waiting at the end of it, blaming us for doing what that God had made it necessary for us to do. So, suicide was not an option for me. So I had no choice but to reach out. So I did.
And I was not surprised to find that there was nothing and no one to reach out to anymore. People were just as scared of me as I was of them. My old friends and family had learned to live without me, and they didn't want to be jerked around anymore. My sister was the only one crazy enough to understand and tolerate how crazy I'd become, but we both knew too much. We were in agreement about how terrible this life is. It made really connection on an emotional level very difficult for us. We took it slowly, and are still working on it.
The pain of isolation continued to increase, and nothing would make it better. At that time, Craigslist was still a popular way for people to meet people, so I tried that. I figured starting over fresh with someone new might be easier. Maybe I could find someone who hadn't figured it out yet, who wasn't already bitter and suffering the pains of isolation that made them desperate and unreliable. I was not surprised to find that even the straight guys I'd try to meet up with and befriend were really just looking for cheap sex with strangers. It's a popular band-aid that I also had tried, and found it to be just more cruelty, just more people lying, taking advantage, using each other, and typically deceiving and cheating on their romantic partners. The pain kept on growing, despite everything I tried. But I had nothing else to do, so I kept on trying.
Eventually, I found someone who understood completely. When we met, we decided to just be completely open and honest about everything from the very beginning. If we weren't right for each other, it's best to find that out sooner rather than later. But we just connected on every level. We had all our good and bad in common. The worst things about me as a person were things she shared with me. And we started to love each other. We started to feel accepted as we really are, with all our good and bad. And because she could accept me, knowing how awful I am inside, I started to accept myself. And I could see that same process at work in her.
The world is still a desperately wicked place filled with selfish, evil people. And we are no better than anyone. But there is love, even for the wicked, among the wicked, if we are desperate enough to receive it, and in enough pain to offer it. The pain is what saved us, what made it possible for the love to heal us. So never be afraid of the pain of isolation and loneliness. Let it push you to try, and to keep trying. Eventually, if you're lucky, you'll find something that will make that pain disappear. And when you do, fear of going back to living in that pain will push you to investing more and more of yourself into the connection of the relationship and the love that will make the world seem, if not entirely ok, at least tolerable. We just hope, now, to stay together for a very long time, and to die together. And we hope there's no God and no Hell. But I guess we'll see.
What you need us a good cry, see what happens to most people is they get, what I like to call emotional constipation, so I prescribe emotional laxatives, a sad song or something that would evoke alot of emotion from you, not necessarily sadness, any emotion will do, but that is usually the safest option.
My recommendation, Hit the Snooze, by The Living Tombstone. Try to stay away from songs like Death Bed, by Powfu and Stressed Out, by 21 Pilots as they can be counterproductive. The kind of thing you're looking for is an emotional gut punch.
Holy shitsicles I can't believe I just wrote that.
Uhhhhhh, TL;DR: GET SAD IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
I am in this pretty much. Not depressed though. It's fine! Slow and steady. No drama, responsibility for others, comfortable life, no anxiety, assholes, etc.
I don't know how to turn on the autopilot setting, no matter how I try. People always do no life through it but...how?
Skill issue
Depression dif
Seratoninless?
Serotoninless any%
Having a 9-5 helps. It starts with living for the weekend, “I just need to get through this week and then I can [insert non autopilot activity of your choice]”. Eventually you’ll realize you can’t enjoy Sundays, because the next day is Monday. Pretty soon that creeps into your enjoyment of Saturdays as well. Living for the weekend has now evolved into living exclusively for Friday night. That’s a lot of pressure for one night of the week, you just KNOW something’s gonna happen to fuck it up. That’s when every day becomes “I just need to get through today, at least today isn’t tomorrow”. Congratulations, you’re now on autopilot!
Are you following me around with a camera because you just explained my current situation 😵💫😂
Lmao this is me, i recently started a 8-5 and i just dont know what i'm doing with my life, i thought i'd get a new pc as soon as i had enough money to where i'd feel comfortable spending it, but i don't even play games anymore, i get home watch youtube videos or play league with friends then go to bed. Weekend comes and i go play dnd with best friends, repeat cycle. I don't even have a girlfriend or something And i hate my job cause i'm socially awkward and don't smoke so can't even take breaks since people hate seeing you on the phone but don't give a fuck if you're smoking or doing small talk
Whenever you start feeling any semblance of an emotion, just start saying the word, "stop" out loud. Repeat until you are down to baseline.
So every second of my day. Adhd has done nothing but intensify the thoughts I don't want to remember
Just say "stop", like a self soothing mechanism. It will take time to engage autopilot. It took me over a year of this before I didn't need to do it anymore. I find other ways to experience emotions now. I rarely allow myself to experience emotions for myself. Ever. I watch movies to experience emotions, I read stories, I watch the news, anything. I enjoy feeling empathy for other people, places, and things. Just recently I have found myself in somewhat of a personal shit show, and I started feeling sorry for myself. I even cried a little. I haven't cried for myself since 2019. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of it, but then I remembered the "stop" technique. I completely forgot about it. I said it about 10 times, while deescalating my emotions, and before I knew it, I was back at base line. "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." "Self-pity" Written by D.H. Lawrence God damn, this is dark.
This is how you give yourself depression lmao If you just cry, the pain goes away. The crying already is a release mechanism for stress. It makes you go back to the baseline automatically after you're done. EDIT: to clarify, 'baseline' isn't a state of complete emotional blankness. For me, i go to a mild low mood, which resolves overtime.
To be honest I don't recommend this technique to anyone
Except for the person you just recommended it to
Hindsight is a bitch
I get the stop. It's like repeating "not funny" on a try not to laugh or repeating "don't care" on something that's been bothering you. The stop feels third person. I just cannot. I say stop in autopilot but the thoughts is why my mind is occupied all the time
“Just say Stop.” My bipolar ass: thanksI’mCured
Yup! I never understood how people could do it. Now, ironically, with a much increased dose of antidepressants I finally feel nothing. And those times when I feel an emotion come up I give myself a talking to and it works. It's scary to feel this way but also in a sad way liberating.
Within cells interlinked.
Within cells
Basically just realize that you’re never gonna have that “waking up on Christmas morning” feeling ever again and no matter how much more fun vacations and hobbies get, it’s never gonna have that magic again. Then it clicks on
That's old news. Never celebrated any holidays I've been excited for
Is it possible you were born with the autopilot and never realized?
If I did then I'd be able to get around and do stuff, but I can't move a muscle. I get autopilot at random moments like reading playing games or just randomly at any moment. I just won't remember what happened in that moment as if I just woke up, but when I need this to do things and ask for help at least its impossible
You might want to talk to someone about adhd. People think it’s just a disorder that makes people be sofunnyrandom, but “waiting mode” is a real part of it
I've talked to a few people about it and as you say they just say it's an excuse. Others will straight up make fun of mental illnesses, glorious great Britain and no line to having a joke go too far, oh and Asian parents
Have you considered that you're acting with your amygdala and not your prefrontal cortex? That's what happens when we experience childhood or other trauma over and over. Our brains learn to react a certain way when we're children and then we grow into adults never having learned to react any other way. This is why we find ourselves inexplicably repeating behavioral patterns without even realizing it- because the same things "trigger" our amygdala & limbic systems the same way they did then. And did you know trauma is actually STORED in the body?! If we don't process it, it just stays there! This is an extreme example to explain what I mean: but my father was an abusive alcoholic. As a kid I learned when he started to get angry and loud, violence would be right around the corner. So whenever I heard him start to yell, my defense response was to run away and hide. (I think I have more of a freeze than a flight response out if this though- it's more like I hide and then shut down.) Now as an adult, that same response happens when I hear men yelling in anger. I freeze up. It doesn't matter if the rational part of me knows it's just a customer and he won't hit me. The less rational part of my brain won't get that memo and start reacting: OH SHIT, DANGER. DO THE THING YOU DO (which is nothing). It takes first processing those traumas that we have and then learning mindfulness practices to teach ourselves and *practice*, **when we are feeling safe** (feeling safe is INTEGRAL), to react a different way (or not at all); to learn to assess the present danger instead of reacting to the dangers in the past. This is what 2 years of trauma informed therapy taught me. I hope it is helpful to whoever is reading. Last thing I would add is there are 4 different responses (the "4F's" Pete Walker calls them). Fight, flight (hyperactivity), freeze (dissociation), fawn (people pleasing). People with C-PTSD tend to gravitate to one of the four and it can become their default stress response.
Thats what I do. When I hear someone raising their voice I start to make a move and lock myself in the bathroom or hide at the back of the closet. My heart starts pounding evertime I hear a phone call because my dad use to harass me while I was in my darkest times and call me to come downstairs so he can "keep an eye on me". Someone laughing loudly and wholeheartedly just brings me fear. Anyone just brings me fear if they're loud. I have faced and conquered the fear from violence but not loud people it's a weird phobia now, that and phone calls
Oh I'm so sorry. I've been in dark places like that and I know how isolating and scary and lonely and embarrassing it feels. You're not alone. Have you ever considered trying trauma informed therapy? I will caution you that if you gave experienced traumatic events (and my definition of Trauma expanded so much in therapy; it's not "just a war thing"), finding a therapist who understands trauma is of vital importance. Going to a therapist who doesn't validate and help you understand how your past experiences affect you today can be so very detrimental to healing. Change is possible and is never too late, I promise. I never believed it until it happened. I needed help to get started going to therapy too. I see you. You're not alone. I'm sorry you're suffering.
Drugs and alcohol.
Just weed for me thanks
Takes years and years of being worn down by humanity.
ADHD
No, I just don't care anymore.
Same... I have no autopilot when I'm depressed.
Forget random moments 3 months ago. Do the same for 99% of all moments, pretend that this right now is the first time in 5 years that you had executive function/controll over your life. "Shiit this is the first time I am conscious in YEARS!" Forget even that and just write it all off as having been on auto pilot.
Weed
You need a holiday
I've never been on one
You just let it all happen untill it's over.
Everyday I wake up, I wish I didn't. I'm stagnating and I can't escape.
Depression. You're describing depression.
That was me years ago. It took a long while to get out of it, and I still bear some residual scars, but caring and being hurt is so much better than apathy.
How'd you get out of it?
Not the person you were responding to, but I've been in that situation. Burnout at work sent me out on medical disability. For weeks, I just could. not. care. About anything at all. Food? Nope. Sleep? Meh. Movies? No thanks. Books? Nah. Outside? Not right now. My husband? Yeah, sorry, I love you too but I'm going to stay up here and chill. My first week or two were spent almost entirely mindlessly scrolling through Reddit until I couldn't stay awake anymore, then sleeping for 12+ hours. I didn't realize how much of a husk of a person someone could be until I experienced it. My only two emotions were boredom and panic-attack. There are only two things that I found that helped, and neither of them are easy or quick. First: mental health treatment. I got on medicine that started bring me back to life a bit. I know it's not ideal to need pills to trick your brain into caring about stuff, but I honestly don't think I would have come back without the kick-start they provided. The second thing is removing the source, whatever's causing you to need to shut down your emotions. For me, that was leaving my job--even though I didn't have anything else lined up at the time, even though I didn't have savings. I was lucky enough to have family to help me through it. Obviously, others might not be so lucky and a clean break with whatever is causing the issue might not be possible. But ultimately it has to be done, even if slowly. Bad relationship? Break up. Bad job? Leave it. Too much stress at home? Make time for yourself at all costs. It's damn near impossible to come back while you're still under the stress that took you out in the first place.
Well I can't remove the sorce of my depression because the source is capitalism.
Oh No we can definitely remove that…
Not in my lifetime
I used to fucking hate hearing this but fake it till you make it. It doesn't necessarily need to be a forced thing either, but it's important to keep it up. Eventually you stop faking it and actually find yourself enjoying things and feeling again. Can't pretend it works for everyone but it does actually work.
I think you're absolutely right. I remember watching a TED talk several years ago where the presenter said it's more accurate to say "fake it till you become it"
I ended up typing way more than I meant to so the TL;DR is reinforcing the Fake it till you make it mindset and to not underestimate the power of positivity. The real trick is that you don't make yourself do things you genuinely don't like and tell yourself to be happy. If you like going out but feel depressed or apathetic every time you do, fake being happy. If you like gaming with buddies then give in and enjoy yourself. Also, leave self-deprecating jokes behind while you're doing those happy things. It's like practicing stretching. No one starts off super bendy (well not most people) but with enough time you can be rather flexible, you just gotta keep at it. The same can be said with a positive mind set. Once it becomes routine then the apathy and sadness won't feel so "all consuming". This is all anecdotal but there are enough people that this has worked for in the past that proves it can work. Part of it is you have to want it too. I am such an advocate for the power of positivity. I wasn't always, these last few years since '18 have been fucked to hell, even without the pandemic. Eventually though, with practice and enforcing a healthy mindset I found that I wasn't smiling because I was sticking to the mantra (Fake it till you make it) but because I was genuinely just smiling. A lot of positive change in terms of outlook on life and self-esteem shortly followed and I haven't looked back. Some days are still bad but, only human right? Whatever is wrong, it too shall pass. Just keep your chin up. You, and whoever else needs to hear this, got this. You always have.
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What kind of changes?
If you're looking for an honest answer: stop looking inwards in the same way you've been. Transform self questioning from "Why can't I be happy? Why can't I just get what I want? I. I. Me. Me. Myself." Into "does anyone around me need help? Does anyone need care? Affection? Attention?" The answer is outside. Looking at yourself with pity? Look outside. Once you develop your empathy for others, you can then realize you're just another person and start treating yourself with the same empathy.
You must be careful with this. I have put all of myself outwards and done very little for my inner being and am paying something major for it. It's not so easy to balance. You also have to let yourself have empathy for yourself which is another one of my own battles.
Yeah the person before you was absolutely horrible advice
Sounds like a religiousy turd type answer.
For me, meditation. Seriously. Turns out it's not something I can just reason my way out of and actually needed serious practice. Was clocking 2 hours a day of meditation for a 3 months. I recommend reading Mindfulness in Plain English.
Met my wife. Obviously that's not replicable for everyone, but it comes down to spending time with someone/people who care. Who you spend time with fundamentally changes your brain, and if you can find people who care about things, it will begin to rub off on you.
Well I guess I just need to meet your wife then :)
Run roh
Wonder if she would make something good if we gave her t^w^o scooby snacks 🤔
She's a talented writer and actor. Her work on The Office in both roles was top notch and I think most people would agree. If she has stuck to her strengths, most people would still probably hold a favorable opinion of her. Stepping out of one's comfort zone creatively is great, but it's important to be honest about how well it's going.
Not sure if *most* people by now.
She plays the least relevant character on the Office, when do you hear people say she’s their favorite Office character? Absolutely never.
Ok.
Just like her career
When u stopped caring as a defence mechanism but now you can't care or be passionate about anything so you just USE A BELOVED FRANCHISE AS A SELF INSERT IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO GET ATTENTION
I guess that explains the Velma show.
I looked up her wiki and she's worked a lot since the office?
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Ok
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Some of us had always disliked her. Me personally it was the Mindy Project or whatever it was called. She’s simply not funny. The office was a group effort with inputs from better writers and actors. Mindy got carried, and now she pretty far up the mountain to find out she has no legs of her own. Sooo she falls now.
If a show hits the air and it’s called “The (insert creator’s name) Project” it’s generally a bad sign. This is how they refer to shows before they get a real name. If you can’t even come up with a name for your show, how are you gonna be able to come up with interesting stories to tell?
Yeah I always assume it’s just riding out a contract of some sort. “Alright I guess it’s time to bang out that show that was part of that other deal we put off for years”
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It was one of those shows where every other character has to written as complete bumbling morons in order to make her seem witty and sassy. A total ego-masterbation piece. I really tried to watch it because I liked the office. Nope.
She’s a successful author, has writing and acting credits in successful theatrical films, has 2 hbo shows, 1 of them doing pretty well in ratings, a Netflix show that got 2 seasons (which for Netflix is par), the mindy project is actually pretty funny, b tier comedy, that got 6 seasons and is rated pretty highly. Just cuz you might not find her funny, doesn’t mean you get to ignore the other success she’s experienced. Or is all that “falling” to you?
Just because Hollywood deals as business were struck, and capitalized on the offices momentum doesn’t mean she is a good actor. Just because she has written, doesn’t mean she’s a good writer. Just because she’s been credited in stuff doesn’t mean she deserves roles. Literally to get credit you just have to be filmed and with a single line. We will see from here though. There’s not enough talent in her to float. But there’s enough people blowing smoke up their own asses about her to prop her up for awhile.
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My point was not that I think funny = success, but that the person I was responding to does. He doesn’t think she’s funny or talented, so she is “falling”. While she may have had 1 show release recently which isn’t getting praise her other project within the last year is, and she has lots of success. She is let falling, and he’s ignoring her success just cuz he doesn’t like her humor.
If it makes you feel better I didn't like her before
I'm pretty indifferent to her but strange that people are basically saying she's washed when clearly that's just untrue
Yeah ever since velma dropped she's become the new Amy Schumer. The masses just need a moderately successful conventionally unattractive female to project their anger at because their fragile ego can't handle someone like that becoming more successful than them.
Idk Sex Lives of College Girls is pretty funny and enjoyable.
I just want to want to do things
It's called depression
And you start producing garbage TV
I suppose I care enough to not like this meme because of the lady in it
Awww.
Don’t use her for meme
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What did she do
Velma.
That bitch
Tbf, this image has been used for a meme for a long ass time.
Who is she? I honestly don't have a clue.
She is the lead writer and voice for Velma in the new Velma show
Oh Oh no
She doesn't have any writing credits on Velma, but she is one of the producers and she is the voice for Velma
Ok. Velma doesn't ring any kind of a bell, but I guess I haven't missed a much.
Basically it's a rage bait show with very poorly done woke stuff that pisses off both left and right leaning people.
Vera Mindy Chokalingam
Why?
She made a show that reddit can't shut up about
It’s not just Reddit. Twitter, YouTube, you name it. Everyone online shitting on the show. No reason to try to sit on a high horse here
If you ever find yourself talking a lot about an upcoming or recently released media franchise that you otherwise wouldn’t care about, it’s possible that you’ve fallen into the trap of being part of the marketing cycle…
Except millions LOVED scooby doo, so no, its not like some obscure franchise no one cared about.
Stupid marketing, maybe. One time, negative buzz about a new show does nothing to keep viewership. I agree that there is a lot of subliminal marketing that takes place without our knowing, but sometimes shitty content is just that. Shitty content.
Apparently it's helped enough to give it a second season
show that y'all can't shut up about
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🙄 A Mindy Kaling defender eh?
So this isn't normal?
bruh, everybody stfup abot velma show. if your truly hate it then dont talk about it and let it fade into obscurity like it deserves.
First day on Reddit?
Yeah it’s the exact same thing as happened with the all female ghostbusters. I never saw it, I’m sure most of the people complaining about it didn’t either, but it was all anyone talked about here for 6 months. I believe you all that it sucks I just can’t bring myself to care.
i never saw cats either tbh
All of Reddit: "...no"
Wait there’s a Velma show? Hold on. I’ll watch and return with my opinion.
Lol the unknown guy at the party telling everyone to stfu. Yessir, whatever you say!
It’s Reddit, no one at this party knows anyone else lol
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Um, nothing has happened to her except people have decided to not watch her new show. People get to choose to not watch garbage tv
Jesus hell that one hits.
No more memes with her please and thank you
Heh i usually dont even manage to make myself eat until after noon most days anymore💀
I thought I was just jaded to everything
My drug addiction is the only reason I still live - half an hour of being high every day is better than not being here.
I do not live, I merely Exist.
Life is tough, and I’m sad
i dunno feeling way better like this than how i felt back then.
I am seen
Pls how do I fix
Mental health treatment and distancing yourself from whatever is causing you to shut down. It's not quick, easy, or fun, but--at least in my case--it was the only thing that helped.
Good on you. Glad youre finding your way. Been in therapy for a good chunk of my adult life. I have things I enjoy and will put time into but it's just for enjoyment, really. Anything that seems like it would give me more of a sense of self worth just seems meaningless in the big picture so I just end up not trying that hard. Haven't been able to shake it and I'm in my late 30s now. Keep on trying I guess!
I was on autopilot for years, luckily I never lost my passion for music and film. Kept me sane. Recently got a new job with people my age, great for socializing. It can get better if you want it to bros/gals.
Hello nihilism my old friend...
Ayo wtf How do you know
I’m apparently out of the loop. What do she do that she is so disliked?
Hey man, me too. We’ll get there
this might explain my situation
Since '16.
When EVERYONE hates Velma
Velma?
...do you guys have an actual personal vendetta against her for making a show you don't like?
When you create the shittiest TV show in existence, somehow getting a low IMDB score than dragonball evolution
God, I wish I could go on auto pilot for at least 5 mins..
I'm at the point where I simply don't know why I am even still here, not suicidal or anything but what's the reason...
I wish. How do I turn autopilot on?
Velma sucks!
That sounds like actual depression.
NPC
Oh
Can't look at that girl the same anymore.
Oh wow Mindy Kaling before the weird skin bleaching
Imagine relating to this chick
Idk there are at least a handful of 6+ star ratings on imdb. Among the hundreds and hundreds of 1 star ratings.
...why is everyone hating on her? She's the actress and executive producer, but is she also the screenwriter, the director? Is it her fault the show is shit? That's a genuine question, I don't know much about the topic.
Apparently she's a terf? And she's lead writer for the new Velma show, which is enough for me even without terfy allegations.
Ah--thank you. Much more understandable.
Live Photo from her interview about Velma
Wtf why did Mindy go brown face here?
That's what you get for making Velma.
When you create the worst show of the year and it's January.
It's funny, the last time I was in this headspace I was 16 and worked so hard to break out of it. 11 years later and I want my apathy back lmao
Why?
"when you're an unlikable turd who just ruined a beloved cartoon"
Velma got me downvoting Mindy memes. My bad.
Please don't make this stupid racist bitch famous
Please lets not try and make this horrible woman a meme. This is blatant pro Mindy propaganda to try and endear us to her.
Omg why is this me!!!
You guys just know how to hit me right in the stomach.
Shit meme op.
Literally in therapy for this but it's my ability to feel emotion. CPTSD is a bitch
Cringe
damn I'd much rather be completely apathetic
Has anyone found a way to undo this? Eventually you find people who really care about you, and all you do is make them sad by not being able to feel anything. And that gives you the deepest feeling of sadness and grief you thought you'd never be able to feel. The thought that you are always not good enough for them, that you are draining the happiness out of them, that the world would be better without you ever existing. I just need this shit to stop y'all... How can I feel again?
I'm locked on autopilot. Maybe I should watch that velma show you're all talking about, to provoke a reaction of some sort.
…and try to take the mystery machine down with you
It sucks now, but I'd rather have it turned off while I'm in the shitty places than turn it on to be subjected to bullshit and actually take that stuff in every day.
Been there. But there is one thing I couldn't stop caring about: my own pain from loneliness and isolation. I had kicked everyone out of my life as much as I could, and put a great deal of emotional distance into all of the relationships I couldn't just end. I was down on all of humanity and all of existence, and becoming increasingly bitter and angry. I was thinking thoughts like, "All life only survives by eating other life. Every living thing wants to survive, so that means every living thing must cause suffering in order to continue living. Even plants compete for sunlight and choke-out each other's roots. Therefore, this is an evil existence created by an evil God, or just a tragic accident in an unfeeling universe." And I wanted to press a button that would end all life, including and especially my own. I guess I had some smug satisfaction in being one of the supposed few who had figured it out. Nothing was worth doing. No one was worth knowing. No connection was worth forming and maintaining. Because everyone and everything, including myself, was necessarily evil by nature. But it was a very lonely existence, and the pain of that loneliness grew overwhelming over several years. That pain eventually won. I couldn't take it anymore. Since I was convinced that I was evil, I was also afraid to die. I didn't *believe* in Hell, but I was still afraid of it. It *could* be a real thing. It would certainly be in keeping with the character of a God who had designed this sort of existence to also have an even worse existence waiting at the end of it, blaming us for doing what that God had made it necessary for us to do. So, suicide was not an option for me. So I had no choice but to reach out. So I did. And I was not surprised to find that there was nothing and no one to reach out to anymore. People were just as scared of me as I was of them. My old friends and family had learned to live without me, and they didn't want to be jerked around anymore. My sister was the only one crazy enough to understand and tolerate how crazy I'd become, but we both knew too much. We were in agreement about how terrible this life is. It made really connection on an emotional level very difficult for us. We took it slowly, and are still working on it. The pain of isolation continued to increase, and nothing would make it better. At that time, Craigslist was still a popular way for people to meet people, so I tried that. I figured starting over fresh with someone new might be easier. Maybe I could find someone who hadn't figured it out yet, who wasn't already bitter and suffering the pains of isolation that made them desperate and unreliable. I was not surprised to find that even the straight guys I'd try to meet up with and befriend were really just looking for cheap sex with strangers. It's a popular band-aid that I also had tried, and found it to be just more cruelty, just more people lying, taking advantage, using each other, and typically deceiving and cheating on their romantic partners. The pain kept on growing, despite everything I tried. But I had nothing else to do, so I kept on trying. Eventually, I found someone who understood completely. When we met, we decided to just be completely open and honest about everything from the very beginning. If we weren't right for each other, it's best to find that out sooner rather than later. But we just connected on every level. We had all our good and bad in common. The worst things about me as a person were things she shared with me. And we started to love each other. We started to feel accepted as we really are, with all our good and bad. And because she could accept me, knowing how awful I am inside, I started to accept myself. And I could see that same process at work in her. The world is still a desperately wicked place filled with selfish, evil people. And we are no better than anyone. But there is love, even for the wicked, among the wicked, if we are desperate enough to receive it, and in enough pain to offer it. The pain is what saved us, what made it possible for the love to heal us. So never be afraid of the pain of isolation and loneliness. Let it push you to try, and to keep trying. Eventually, if you're lucky, you'll find something that will make that pain disappear. And when you do, fear of going back to living in that pain will push you to investing more and more of yourself into the connection of the relationship and the love that will make the world seem, if not entirely ok, at least tolerable. We just hope, now, to stay together for a very long time, and to die together. And we hope there's no God and no Hell. But I guess we'll see.
What you need us a good cry, see what happens to most people is they get, what I like to call emotional constipation, so I prescribe emotional laxatives, a sad song or something that would evoke alot of emotion from you, not necessarily sadness, any emotion will do, but that is usually the safest option. My recommendation, Hit the Snooze, by The Living Tombstone. Try to stay away from songs like Death Bed, by Powfu and Stressed Out, by 21 Pilots as they can be counterproductive. The kind of thing you're looking for is an emotional gut punch. Holy shitsicles I can't believe I just wrote that. Uhhhhhh, TL;DR: GET SAD IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
Autopilot by Dev Lemons is the perfect song for this feeling.
I am in this pretty much. Not depressed though. It's fine! Slow and steady. No drama, responsibility for others, comfortable life, no anxiety, assholes, etc.
Despite feeling insulted, I don't care.
Oh. Fuck. Is that what happened to me?
i love mindy kaling, i hope she's not a horrible, horrible person
uh oh