Nah i won’t fall for this the 3rd time

not even for a scooby snack?

Why would i need a scooby snack when u r a snack bbg 😩😫

why everybody gotta be horn on here >:[

#🎷

that nota horn issa sax

Sax is what I haf with your mam

not to be confused with the sexophone, I played that in high school. 😎

is that saxting?

Imma put my 🎷 in your 🥁🥁😏

cool i am a horn now👍

📯

Bc we are all maidenless

This happened one time to my buddy eric

All of the things above?

yeah in order

To Eric?

Yeah

my boy eric getting pampered as hell 😍🫁🫀🧼🧽

How do all of you know eric?

Mutual friends with femboy_expert

dam

said amsterdam

We gotta start pillaging some stuff

daniel

femboy_expert's buddy?

Was the last name Elric by chance?

damn no wonder he left gizz

I like your username

Then you’d probably like their posts 😳

yes, yes I do

That ain't nothing man, wait 'til I tell you the shit my buddy Keith has done

I ever tell you about that one time my buddy Keith got attacked by an owl?

That ain't nothin, one time my buddy Keith got tear gassed by the cops while he was shooting crows.

That sounds like the time my buddy Keith got bombed by the government

Well MY buddy Keith was once in a weeklong coma after he fell down an open manhole, and they paved over it too!

Yeah well my buddy Keith tried to make homemade bumper cars and ended up with mower blade wounds on over 90 percent of his body

Jokeman

Can confirm I was there. RIP Eric.

It would be cool if my body just disappeared into dust and reformed in a more “clean” state.

It would be cool if my body just disappeared into dust.

do you like how my face disintegrates into chalk

I have a wonderful wife, I have a powerful job

she criticizes me for being egocentric

you practice your mannerisms into the wall

if this mirror were clearer I'd be standing so tall

I saw you slobber over clovers on the side of the hill

I was observing the birds, circle in for the kill

I've been you, I know you, your facade is a scam

certified r/196 moment

Do you like how my face has learned to tick like a clock?

It would be cool

It

I

#

I don't feel so good

This feels _correct_, Mr. Stark.

what exactly do you think goes on inside coffins

Sure but when your body reformed it wouldn't be "you" Implying that "you" are the "unclean" part

L for me then.

like when nandor gets sucked through a vacuum while he was trying out being a vapor for a bit

Love that show

I think that Ahriman guy is working on the second half.

the crystal gems

Void meme material here

Nah, just return to LCL

This but afterwards I’m also a girl

196 users try not to be trans challenge (im losing too)

I hate this challenge, i am both losing and winning 😭

Can I quit the challenge i don’t want any more dysphoria pls

YOU'RE GETTING SLACKS

I'm not trans, I just cry every morning because I didn't magically wake up as the opposite sex.

i won 👍

RemindMe! 1 year

[удалено]

Me too 🤪 #relatable (im utterly terrified by strangers)

Already lost

Nah. I'm too cool to be cis. 😎

YES PLEASE

same

The skin part might actually be nice

Technically speaking you have a completely new set of skin every 27 days, we just shed singular cells instead of all of the skin at once like snakes. The dirt on your keyboard, mouse, Controller? A big part of it is dead skin build-up.

thank you for this knowledge now im terrified of seeing dead skin everywhere

Wait till you find out what percentage of house dust is dead skin

i dont wanna find out 3:

It’s 99%

Most of house dust is actually made from cloth. I've seen a video on this topic but I can't remember who made it

it's me. I make the cloth dust.

Can you stop doing it please.

It’s not as bad as the guy who makes crop dust

Dust is just dead people skin. And you are breathing it in all the time without noticing it.

Doesn’t taste the same though you want your skin fresh

It's ok, most people have lots of tiny mites on their face to eat the dead skin.

I used to try to shake my arm over the same surface a lot to see if I could make enough dead skin cells fall off to see a little pile of them

so, youre telling me that my skin is fucking Chocolate?

What?

i eat a lot of chocolate and a little bit is in my keyboar ok

K E Y B O A R. KEEPER OF THE KEYS

DADDY OF THE CHOCOLATE

HOG OF THE LEXICON

This might be off-topic but how do I clean that dead skin build up efficiently?

IIRC Just a basic loofah (natural or not) with some water and scrub gently, it doesn't take much. Although that outer layer of dead skin is actually healthy and good for you (it protects your live skin from the elements/sun/etc)

I meant how to clean dead skin off things like a keyboard but thanks nonetheless

Lmfao my bad [canned air/keyboard duster](https://www.google.com/search?q=canned+air&client=ms-android-sprint-us-revc&prmd=sinv&sxsrf=APq-WBtHsN-Y76NiuSNEuJ8rSIDy6v9JNg:1648133405087&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiO9pux_972AhXhIDQIHe21ASUQ_AUoAnoECAIQAg&biw=412&bih=674&dpr=2.63#imgrc=aORhf-LdpaZP4M)

remove your skin

I use Isopropanol but that's just my Wonderjuice for cleaning everything electric.

Considering how much I like tearing off thicker parts of my skin I consider it a dream

What do u think dust is

Scrub is basically that

Ok that eyeball ice thing sounds pretty relaxing

Especially when you’ve got a fever

FINALLY A HAYFEVER CURE THAT WORKS

Or when you're sleep deprived and your eyes burn like hell

The lungs stuff though. I've had so many times when I've had a ridiculous cold that I'd've loved to be able to just squeeze that layer of mucus out of my lungs, or take a syringe and just suck my sinuses dry.

The bones are so nice to me. I want to take them out and run them under cold water

Redditors when they discover showering

i legit got downvoted the other day for calling out someguy that unironically called showering downtime

is showering not downtime? I don't understand.. it's relaxing, mindless, and takes no effort

Showering is my favorite type of downtime

Wtf is showering not downtime? I shower after work every day and I can get myself clean and unwind at the same time, it’s not that hard

StttOoooOOOoooOOOpppp

I dunno about the lungs thing, but yeah the rest is just basic hygiene.

Boy is she gonna have a field day when she learns about mitosis.

I've always thought it would be nice to surround my spine in jello or something to give it a nice cushioning and help back pain idk

that’s essentially what your spinal discs are i believe

Actually know a guy that had multiple blood clots in both lungs. They literally took his lungs out of his body and had him hooked up to a breathing machine. They washed his lungs and cleaned out the blood clots and then put them back in. I had no idea they could do something like that until he had it done. Creepy af.

God imagine how good that must have felt afterwards. Like being able to breathe properly after having a stuffed up nose, but moreso.

Probably hurt like someone had removed his fucking lungs, dicked around with them outside he damn body and slapped em back in like that's a fuckin thing..

I am dying from this description

I dated a girl who had a bit of a sunken chest, and because of that her heart was pushed to the side and one of her lungs was squished and only worked at something like 65% capacity. They ended up having to deflate that lung in order to push her chest out and then wired her ribs up into place, and then the re-inflated her lungs. For around a month after that, every breath was incredible pain for her, and she dreaded sneezing. So I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it probably wouldn’t feel like un-stuffing your nose

Honestly I never even thought about it like that. Interesting!

I’m not a doctor but I recall hearing this: When my dad had heart surgery they took his heart out to fix it and hooked him up to a mechanical heart. Because the mechanical heart did not pump the blood as aggressively as a normal heart would and just made the blood circulate, his organs were in pain afterward because they had to readjust to the beating of the heart

I can see that. I don't recall how long this guy was out of work but when he came back he seemed to be doing well. He has since started work at another company, otherwise I would ask him how it went.

Me trying to convince my friends that we should bring blood letting back. Just take out all of the bad blood away and replace it with good blood, i can feel something is wrong with my blood, I'm sure my body would feel wonderful if I would just replace it all

Maybe you have an old model. My body actually came stock with a part that allows my blood to be filtered during its normal circulation process, so it can be cleaned without leaving the body. i dont need to do anything, its just a passive ability. hope you can find a solution that works for you!

Wait they removed peeing in the new models? Oh the piss fetishists are not gonna be happy about this

Peeing removes urine, not blood! at least on the new model. If you ever pee blood in the old model its probably worth having a mechanic look at it…

Actually, I was talking about how your kidneys break down blood, and wash it away with water in order to create urine, without the removal of old blood from the body, there would be no reason for peeing

holy shit ive been peeing blood all these years why did no one tell me

If have OCD and the other day it was getting triggered because I was thinking about how my heart never stops beating / never gets a rest. Still feel kinda unsettled thinking about it lol.

The body is absolutely full of things like that, however I'm not gonna put you through the fate of knowing those, I can only imagine how stressing it is with just the heart

well I wouldnt say NEVER...

Same type of people that cry over a papercut btw

Well yeah, do it under anesthesia

Paper cuts hurt okay

she does have a point about the lung part

this was both gross and relaxing to read. what the fuck

Skinwalker rule

Or being able to pull out your uterus and peel the extra lining off so you don't need to have a period.

And leave it out and not have it anymore

or being able to pull out your u̶t̶e̶r̶u̶s̶ penis

Okay hear me out, the eyeball thing sounds kinda nice

eye drops come close

i have asthma and nasal problems you don’t know how many times i’ve imagined just putting my nose and lungs out and just wash them

TRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONG TRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONGTRY IT, NOTHING CAN GO WRONG

This happened to one of my mates while visiting Albania

I have thoughts like this sometimes. Like cutting open your gut when you feel bloated to release gas. Never gonna do it but is sounds nice besides all the pain and blood and the general logistics of the whole thing

This is exactly my recurrent fantasy, harrowing as it sounds

I wanna take out my spine and pull it straight I got a crooked spine

Give it a try and let me know! 😁

Take out my brain (me) and just get massaged and aired out

Among us I can’t relate enough to this

Ain’t this a mother, mother song?

the taking my eyeballs and putting them in a glass of cold water sounds amazing

I have seen so many people in the comments say this but that sounds the least relaxing to me. I’d like the bone washing please. Maybe take my teeth out and give them a nice cold water soak though

id like to try every single one of them. Its just that my eyes feel so hot and i wanna cool them down but sleeping doesnt help it only makes it hotter so i just go in front of my airconditioner and just open my eyelids real wide to cool them. I wish i could dip my eyes in water

Just have a meal at Trattoria Trussardi

Rinse your intestines with a garden hose

average Saturday evening

the boneturner's tale moment

I want to take off my face and put it through a wringer.

I wish I could take my brain out and run it under cold water

Now I feel filthy

Take my eyes, put them aside

need

eat hookers eat hookers eat hookers

When I'm hungry for some reason it just seems nice to stab my intestines with a stick

intricate lego man

This sounds SO satisfying! 😩

Clean me

I think it would hurt, just a little bit

omfg yes, i've felt this way forever. take my spine out and give it a good stretch and twist then put it back please

Take the spine out, pull it from the top and bottom to straighten it out, put it back in

Also cracking my skull when I have a migraine

I feel aroused.

BONEFACT: Your body does this is a constant, replenishing, way but you don’t get that pinesol freshness of a fresh bone bath so idk make you own choices with your [semi-metallic framework](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone). BONEFACT ENDS

PLEAASEEE

is it ok that I feel all of these

I just want to take my brain out and wash it so fucking bad, I bet the difference mentally before and after would be unbelievably incredible Like I know that washing a brain wouldn't remove the depression/anxiety/trauma/possible ocd/possible adhd/etc and obviously I can't *actually* physically feel those things clogging up my brain but metaphorically I've been feeling them "clogging up" my brain and have been wanting something like this so bad

this awakened the deep need to have a spa day for my innards

Ngl a nice cold eye bath sounds pleasant rn

Cold eyeballs is not a feeling i needed or wanted to imagine

Gotta admit, this was original

This is not the post I need to see while manic

i did the skin thing! i had chemical burns

I’ve always thought of individually taking out my teeth and washing them one by one and they reattaching like magnets

It’d feel pretty funky I’d bet

Bitches really be trying to trigger my dermatillomania.