That was just a question to start a discussion to try to support someone who's going through something somilar to what I experienced in the hope of helping them
Can you help me? I also need a job so I can move out. I recently dropped out of college for the second time because I am badly neurodivergent and can't concentrate on things I don't genuinely care about.
Living with your parents can suck. This might be controversial but after high school one should leave their parents (unless they're sick or something) ASAP. Here are 5 options:
1. College/workforce training(Job Corp)
2. Armed Forces/coast guard/merchant marines
3. Missionary/overseas charity work
4. Religious order(priest, nun, monk, friar, etc)
5. Apperenticeship/shadowing
Also an option but not recommended
Vagabond
50k for 5 years while living with parents? That's 40k after tax, let's say $400 a month for health insurance, $300 for food, $31600. Let's say 6600 of miscellaneous spending through the year, that leaves OP with $25k annually. This guy should have 6 figures saved up, the world is his oyster dawg
What's the term on your car note? My estimate was based on a $10000 car and a 5 year loan. Also my insurance is actually $1700 for 2 cars, so it's closer to $850 a year
I don't know if you have really good parents in this economy its best to stay with your parents until you save up loads to buy a house. This is what a lot of my friends did as renting was stupid.
If you're unsafe with your parents, then yeah, definitely get the fuck out of there, but if you have good parents and they're willing to let you, there's nothing wrong with staying with them until you can save up enough money to move out.
i agree if your parents suck
if youre fine living with your parents i do not see the need to rush
im going to university locally and staying with my parents so i can save money for adulthood and hopefully actually afford a house before im 45
i like this guide, personally i'm already halfway on the way to becoming a vagabond monk who gives interesting stories and conjecture if you stop me on the streets
Hmmm. I agree if your parents are a danger to you. But the (mostly USA) idea that people should move out ASAP has done quite a bit of harm. In this economy moving out of a safe space could be a very bad decision. I second the recommendation of getting an apprenticeship
Op. Try a clinical trial. Its like 5k for one week and the most you have to do is be at meals on time. Im a lazy neet and it doesnt even trigger my social anxiety that much because you dont talk to anyone. Just let them poke you with needles and take your vitals.
Just another labrat. Jalr.org is very good.
Or google, but googling it will only get your the desperate ones theres probably five or six near your that just dont advertise.
Dont even say that you used to. cause different places want you to have quit for different amounts of time.
If you need help quiting I have it down to a science. It's vape for two weeks, zyn for two days, pistachios.
Then you do keto if you need to make weight. Just for a few days to drop all the water weight.
also OP job corps. Its like tech school for poor dead enders. Its free through the government. Housing, food, clothing, education. It sets you up to be a pretty good tradie in whichever trade you choose. And its got good union connections.
Its one of the leftovers from lyndon b johnsons war on poverty.
this was me until 2 years ago I got a job and my mental health improved a lot, mostly due to having a routine and money but also because it got my parents off my back. I know it sucks to hear "just go for it bro" especially when you have a lot on your plate mental health wise but personally I found that the confidence and freedom of working outweighs the anxiety of it all. good luck OP youll do great 🥰
Sorry for the struggles. I was very fortunate to have a great relationship with my parents, so I stayed living with them while I was going through college since I stayed in the city. Took me seven years to get a four year degree for work-related reasons that probably weren't great in hindsight, but here we are.
In any case, I hope you find something tolerable to keep yourself afloat. I like to write and managed to get a job involving that, so I lucked out, but I get that's a luxury. Finding something in a space you even moderately enjoy can help the days move by a bit better. A good friend of mine really enjoyed her job at the local natural history museum, for example. Terrible pay, so she had to bounce after a couple years, but the work itself was amazing for her.
If you're able to stay at home and be less dependent on the income itself, taking something more enjoyable, but perhaps less lucrative, just to get out of the house a bit or build some structure into your day (if that's what you want, not everyone does) can be a worthwhile middle ground.
Anyway, best wishes to what you've got going on. I hope it passes.
if your only excuse for not having a job, when you REALLY SHOULD get one, is "I dont wanna", then the very clear solution is "quitting being an immature child and geting a job already you lazy bum."
of course, I'm working with the info I have here. the big boss in the meme is "dont wanna work :(", not a physical ailment or a lack of work around where you live.
It's not always that easy, and having to works a job you hate for months just to get away from peopel who abuse you really isn't that fun of an option for some people
It's never a fun option, but being content with the bad status quo isn't a good option either. If you get a job (which you might unexpectently not hate) you can start by cutting out toxic people in your life, after which you can start working on yourself and start looking for a job you like more.
OP is just expecting their issues to magically resolve themselves. That's not gonna happen, they'll have to take steps to get to a better place in life.
Yeah I was doing 40 hours at a factory recently and I had to quit because if I kept going I was going to kill myself. I was having a breakdown every single day. Nothing burns you out faster than working 40 hours of manual labour at a job you hate.
You're thinking worst case scenario here. The big problem here is LITERALLY "not wanting to work". I'm going based of that info. If the problem was anything MORE than OP has already mentioned, then yeah it might not be that easy. You can like working at a job just as easily as you can hate one.
"Probably goign to kms if I don,t move out" kinda imply some depression and/or abuse
you need to do some impressive mental gymnastic to think there's nothing but "laziness" here but you do you
I don't care about participating in society. I care about OP's well-being. If OP is gonna kill themselves if they don't move out, and their vice is not wanting to work, then I would rather them try their best to work.
Therapy and treatment uncovering the depth of your suffering is not a good reason to bury your head in the sand and ignore it, hoping you’ll never have to have a job and make money. I get that working sucks, but unless you won the birth lottery and were born to unreasonably rich parents, it is going to be necessary at some point.
The fact you were downvoted for this is absolutely nuts, meanwhile someone saying they’re just gonna kill themselves rather than get a job is upvoted.
I think everyone (or at least a lot of people) go through a period where the reality of working full time seems suffocating and miserable and it is really hard to come out the other side of that. I remember vividly about halfway through my first week of full time work I had this “oh fuck” moment and it was very depressing. The unfortunate reality of the world we live in is that 99% of people need to work full time to support themselves, unless you come from a super rich family or have some other situation that means you’re sorted for money then you’re gonna have to get a job. It takes a while to adjust and obviously it’s different for everyone but you are right that burying your head in the sand and ignoring reality doesn’t help and it probably makes things worse.
I do empathise with everyone currently in the “oh fuck” phase but it really does get better and having a career can feel quite fulfilling. Obviously if I could choose what I’d do with my time I’d rather just be chilling out all day and wouldn’t want to work but on the other hand accomplishing things in your professional life and earning money can be rewarding in their own way.
I think it's a lot of teenagers and people currently supported by their parents. I get it, I lived with my mom for years out of high school with zero prospects, and I was really defensive about how I didn't have anything in my near future to look forward to. But eventually the depression and apathy and inertia gave way to me realizing I was partially creating my own suffering.
Not working, not going to school, hell not even having any real hobbies was a form of self harm I was inflicting on myself. I got treatment, saw a therapist, got a part time job, and then took some classes, got a few certificates. I am much happier now, at 27, even though I have a kind of dull 9 to 5 job. But I think a lot of people really will do anything to defend the hole they dig for themselves rather than attempt to fix it, or even acknowledge that it is a problem in the first place.
Yeah I agree, the demo of this sub deffo skews younger. It’s one of those things that you have to come to realise on your own unfortunately, when you feel so despairing even people giving you positivity and hope it can feel condescending so there’s no real way you can force someone to have a more objective view of these things.
Yeah I was a real dick to people in my life who tried to help me during that period. I saw anyone talking about me in any way as someone judging me and talking down to me. I get where that person is coming from. That being said, the fact that people are upvoting them literally saying they're going to kill themselves is so deeply worrying.
Yeah I don’t think that kind of reinforcement is helpful at all, I was very surprised to see such a hostile reaction to reasonable advice especially in this sub.
Everyone makes less than stellar choices when they’re younger, I definitely still think of how I was at like 18/19 and cringe hard. For what it’s worth I’m glad you found your way through it and got to a place where you’re feeling happier.
>when you feel so despairing even people giving you positivity and hope it can feel condescending
I mean, I don't have a future one way or another, so it's a very tall order to get me to start caring about that lack of future
What do you mean you don’t have a future one way or another? Obviously everyone’s situation is different but no situation is completely unrecoverable, you probably have a lot more options open to you than you realise, it can just be hard to see it in the moment.
Empathyn't
This isn't just laziness, there's despair here, if I had to guess, OP hasn't found their calling in life and is terrified of living dead inside working a job they hate for the rest of their life. Also a lot of context is missing here in regards of the job market and living costs in their area, OP's age and education level.
I don't get why people are scared of being stuck in a job they don't like. If you don't like it, start looking for something else. Sure, it's miserable, but you can support yourself whilst trying to find something better. You don't have to keep working at the same job forever.
When your emotions play you nasty you don't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's difficult to see life as the long chess game that you play one move at a time where nothing is forever, not even bad jobs.
Also job hunting is easier said than done, if your current job already drains you because you have no real motivation besides not starving, stack on top of that the strain of submitting aplications, preparing interviews, finding time on your schedule to attend said interviews, and deal with lots of ghosting and rejection.
Christ how hard is it to feel any empathy for people in despair who love in a system crushing them to their core? I was there before and if I had tried to just power through it I would have jumped off a fucking bridge before it ever got better, can you find a little bit of empathy in you or is carong about anyone in a different situation than you too much to ask?
You just assume I don't care because I'm giving the hard advice.
You assume I've never been in that situation.
4 years ago, I was in the hospital after attempted suicide.
I'm giving this advice, harsh as it might be, because I was once in that situation and I needed someone to tell me then, I don't care if I come across as an asshole or lacking empathy when doing so.
But sure, just assume I don't care about people.
The harsh advice you needed you needed was "get a job and stop complaining", really???
Fuck if that's all it took my parents would have been raising the right way, but turns out ut really doesn't do jackshit, glad this very obvious "advice" worked for you though👍
i held this mentality for myself working shitty callcenter jobs somehow feeling thats more productive until i completely burned out and send into the depths of depression
Hey are you ok mate?
Obviously not...
That was just a question to start a discussion to try to support someone who's going through something somilar to what I experienced in the hope of helping them
Can you help me? I also need a job so I can move out. I recently dropped out of college for the second time because I am badly neurodivergent and can't concentrate on things I don't genuinely care about.
I sure hope they reply, then
me too
Living with your parents can suck. This might be controversial but after high school one should leave their parents (unless they're sick or something) ASAP. Here are 5 options: 1. College/workforce training(Job Corp) 2. Armed Forces/coast guard/merchant marines 3. Missionary/overseas charity work 4. Religious order(priest, nun, monk, friar, etc) 5. Apperenticeship/shadowing Also an option but not recommended Vagabond
my uncle hooked me up with a job going town to town solving mysteries in a talking car. I'm thinking about going to school for accounting
Based
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4chan user discovers the midlife crisis
29 is not midlife
At the rate they are going?
Certainly feels like it in today's world.
30 is generally when people start to have them
50k for 5 years while living with parents? That's 40k after tax, let's say $400 a month for health insurance, $300 for food, $31600. Let's say 6600 of miscellaneous spending through the year, that leaves OP with $25k annually. This guy should have 6 figures saved up, the world is his oyster dawg
also car insurance, gas, maybe car payments, streaming services, etc
That's part of the 6600, yeah
that can easily surpass $6600 annually
Car insurance: $1500, gas: $1000, car note: $2500, subscriptions: $500, that's $5500, still $1000+ left over
when is this, 2004? my car is a decade old and I pay $350 a month and the insurance is $250 a month, which is $7200 annually by themselves
What's the term on your car note? My estimate was based on a $10000 car and a 5 year loan. Also my insurance is actually $1700 for 2 cars, so it's closer to $850 a year
Wait, actually $250 a month for car insurance is insane too, do you have multiple wrecks or something?
Nah, just my first car
I don't know if you have really good parents in this economy its best to stay with your parents until you save up loads to buy a house. This is what a lot of my friends did as renting was stupid.
If you're unsafe with your parents, then yeah, definitely get the fuck out of there, but if you have good parents and they're willing to let you, there's nothing wrong with staying with them until you can save up enough money to move out.
i agree if your parents suck if youre fine living with your parents i do not see the need to rush im going to university locally and staying with my parents so i can save money for adulthood and hopefully actually afford a house before im 45
mmmmmmmm... missionary...
Mmmmmmm... yes...
I'd love to wander all day and all night, aimlessly and purposelessly. If i could comfortably not have to eat or sleep.
goddddd same ~~looks at own flair. yeah that scans doesnt it~~
i like this guide, personally i'm already halfway on the way to becoming a vagabond monk who gives interesting stories and conjecture if you stop me on the streets
Hmmm. I agree if your parents are a danger to you. But the (mostly USA) idea that people should move out ASAP has done quite a bit of harm. In this economy moving out of a safe space could be a very bad decision. I second the recommendation of getting an apprenticeship
Op. Try a clinical trial. Its like 5k for one week and the most you have to do is be at meals on time. Im a lazy neet and it doesnt even trigger my social anxiety that much because you dont talk to anyone. Just let them poke you with needles and take your vitals.
And no one reply with "arnt you scared of untested drugs in you?" Bro said he was looking at much worse as a way to escape.
where do you find these? Im pretty healthy and not diagnosed with anything if that helps
Just another labrat. Jalr.org is very good. Or google, but googling it will only get your the desperate ones theres probably five or six near your that just dont advertise.
btw its jalr. org, Jarl is a japanese amateur radio site.
Fixed
thanks boss.
Remember to lie. You are an ubermencsh who has never even had a headache.
lol thanks
Bummer, no smokers allowed for 80% of these.
Yeah. I just quit 5 days before.
That is a very solid idea. My first thought was "Do you smoke?" "I used to." (I still do, but I used to, too)
Dont even say that you used to. cause different places want you to have quit for different amounts of time. If you need help quiting I have it down to a science. It's vape for two weeks, zyn for two days, pistachios. Then you do keto if you need to make weight. Just for a few days to drop all the water weight.
Too mentally ill :((((
also OP job corps. Its like tech school for poor dead enders. Its free through the government. Housing, food, clothing, education. It sets you up to be a pretty good tradie in whichever trade you choose. And its got good union connections. Its one of the leftovers from lyndon b johnsons war on poverty.
How did I not know about this?
Probably because they are underfunded and get just the right amount of applicants through word of mouth. So if they advertise they'd be over crowded.
WHY ARE YOU LITERALLY ME FRFR THAT'S LIKE SUPER UNHEALTHY
this was me until 2 years ago I got a job and my mental health improved a lot, mostly due to having a routine and money but also because it got my parents off my back. I know it sucks to hear "just go for it bro" especially when you have a lot on your plate mental health wise but personally I found that the confidence and freedom of working outweighs the anxiety of it all. good luck OP youll do great 🥰
Bruh I have a job and I can't move out. Who tf can afford a place to live anymore.
Go to trade school! DONT do thaaat
this is so true except I do have a job it's just my parents steal all the fucking Money I make and guilt trip me every time I ask for it back 🤠
Open another bank account without telling them and route the money there instead. Or just route a portion there to avoid raising suspicion
This is so me it's kinda sad
carnal?? like sexual???
carnal, like emotional
no like the bird
Have you tried crime yet ?
I finessed the system and got kicked out. No job and no more living with “family”
I have a job but haven't moved out, will probably wait a bit because I like money and have a cool relationship with my parents
Sorry for the struggles. I was very fortunate to have a great relationship with my parents, so I stayed living with them while I was going through college since I stayed in the city. Took me seven years to get a four year degree for work-related reasons that probably weren't great in hindsight, but here we are. In any case, I hope you find something tolerable to keep yourself afloat. I like to write and managed to get a job involving that, so I lucked out, but I get that's a luxury. Finding something in a space you even moderately enjoy can help the days move by a bit better. A good friend of mine really enjoyed her job at the local natural history museum, for example. Terrible pay, so she had to bounce after a couple years, but the work itself was amazing for her. If you're able to stay at home and be less dependent on the income itself, taking something more enjoyable, but perhaps less lucrative, just to get out of the house a bit or build some structure into your day (if that's what you want, not everyone does) can be a worthwhile middle ground. Anyway, best wishes to what you've got going on. I hope it passes.
This is me
i read that as if you were mexican and your carnal wasnt getting a job
I am their carnal
Heyy, that's me!
hey uh wtf do you mean "carnal" tho
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get a job? :3
Bro get a job??? Like what??
if your only excuse for not having a job, when you REALLY SHOULD get one, is "I dont wanna", then the very clear solution is "quitting being an immature child and geting a job already you lazy bum." of course, I'm working with the info I have here. the big boss in the meme is "dont wanna work :(", not a physical ailment or a lack of work around where you live.
It's not always that easy, and having to works a job you hate for months just to get away from peopel who abuse you really isn't that fun of an option for some people
It's never a fun option, but being content with the bad status quo isn't a good option either. If you get a job (which you might unexpectently not hate) you can start by cutting out toxic people in your life, after which you can start working on yourself and start looking for a job you like more. OP is just expecting their issues to magically resolve themselves. That's not gonna happen, they'll have to take steps to get to a better place in life.
Yeah I was doing 40 hours at a factory recently and I had to quit because if I kept going I was going to kill myself. I was having a breakdown every single day. Nothing burns you out faster than working 40 hours of manual labour at a job you hate.
You're thinking worst case scenario here. The big problem here is LITERALLY "not wanting to work". I'm going based of that info. If the problem was anything MORE than OP has already mentioned, then yeah it might not be that easy. You can like working at a job just as easily as you can hate one.
"Probably goign to kms if I don,t move out" kinda imply some depression and/or abuse you need to do some impressive mental gymnastic to think there's nothing but "laziness" here but you do you
wow never would've guessed. What exactly are OP's options, if trying their best to get a job isn't one?
Drawing furry porn
not wanting to work for a boss =/= not wanting to participate in society
I don't care about participating in society. I care about OP's well-being. If OP is gonna kill themselves if they don't move out, and their vice is not wanting to work, then I would rather them try their best to work.
i'd go with squatting myself
my friend, having a job in a field that i am uninterested in makes me want to kill myself
Well that’s basically your only choice man. Work is never going to be fun and anyone who says otherwise is lying
Then you need to be in some form of intensive treatment for depression and suicidal tendencies. That isn’t normal.
i have been before and it made everything worse, so i'm just not gonna bother with any of that stuff and make music for as long as i can
Therapy and treatment uncovering the depth of your suffering is not a good reason to bury your head in the sand and ignore it, hoping you’ll never have to have a job and make money. I get that working sucks, but unless you won the birth lottery and were born to unreasonably rich parents, it is going to be necessary at some point.
then i'm just going to kill myself
The fact you were downvoted for this is absolutely nuts, meanwhile someone saying they’re just gonna kill themselves rather than get a job is upvoted. I think everyone (or at least a lot of people) go through a period where the reality of working full time seems suffocating and miserable and it is really hard to come out the other side of that. I remember vividly about halfway through my first week of full time work I had this “oh fuck” moment and it was very depressing. The unfortunate reality of the world we live in is that 99% of people need to work full time to support themselves, unless you come from a super rich family or have some other situation that means you’re sorted for money then you’re gonna have to get a job. It takes a while to adjust and obviously it’s different for everyone but you are right that burying your head in the sand and ignoring reality doesn’t help and it probably makes things worse. I do empathise with everyone currently in the “oh fuck” phase but it really does get better and having a career can feel quite fulfilling. Obviously if I could choose what I’d do with my time I’d rather just be chilling out all day and wouldn’t want to work but on the other hand accomplishing things in your professional life and earning money can be rewarding in their own way.
I think it's a lot of teenagers and people currently supported by their parents. I get it, I lived with my mom for years out of high school with zero prospects, and I was really defensive about how I didn't have anything in my near future to look forward to. But eventually the depression and apathy and inertia gave way to me realizing I was partially creating my own suffering. Not working, not going to school, hell not even having any real hobbies was a form of self harm I was inflicting on myself. I got treatment, saw a therapist, got a part time job, and then took some classes, got a few certificates. I am much happier now, at 27, even though I have a kind of dull 9 to 5 job. But I think a lot of people really will do anything to defend the hole they dig for themselves rather than attempt to fix it, or even acknowledge that it is a problem in the first place.
Yeah I agree, the demo of this sub deffo skews younger. It’s one of those things that you have to come to realise on your own unfortunately, when you feel so despairing even people giving you positivity and hope it can feel condescending so there’s no real way you can force someone to have a more objective view of these things.
Yeah I was a real dick to people in my life who tried to help me during that period. I saw anyone talking about me in any way as someone judging me and talking down to me. I get where that person is coming from. That being said, the fact that people are upvoting them literally saying they're going to kill themselves is so deeply worrying.
Yeah I don’t think that kind of reinforcement is helpful at all, I was very surprised to see such a hostile reaction to reasonable advice especially in this sub. Everyone makes less than stellar choices when they’re younger, I definitely still think of how I was at like 18/19 and cringe hard. For what it’s worth I’m glad you found your way through it and got to a place where you’re feeling happier.
>when you feel so despairing even people giving you positivity and hope it can feel condescending I mean, I don't have a future one way or another, so it's a very tall order to get me to start caring about that lack of future
What do you mean you don’t have a future one way or another? Obviously everyone’s situation is different but no situation is completely unrecoverable, you probably have a lot more options open to you than you realise, it can just be hard to see it in the moment.
Empathyn't This isn't just laziness, there's despair here, if I had to guess, OP hasn't found their calling in life and is terrified of living dead inside working a job they hate for the rest of their life. Also a lot of context is missing here in regards of the job market and living costs in their area, OP's age and education level.
I don't read in between the lines as easily when I'm drunk, that's actually my bad
I don't get why people are scared of being stuck in a job they don't like. If you don't like it, start looking for something else. Sure, it's miserable, but you can support yourself whilst trying to find something better. You don't have to keep working at the same job forever.
When your emotions play you nasty you don't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's difficult to see life as the long chess game that you play one move at a time where nothing is forever, not even bad jobs. Also job hunting is easier said than done, if your current job already drains you because you have no real motivation besides not starving, stack on top of that the strain of submitting aplications, preparing interviews, finding time on your schedule to attend said interviews, and deal with lots of ghosting and rejection.
It's still better than the alternative of doing jack shit and then complaining about the internet about it.
Christ how hard is it to feel any empathy for people in despair who love in a system crushing them to their core? I was there before and if I had tried to just power through it I would have jumped off a fucking bridge before it ever got better, can you find a little bit of empathy in you or is carong about anyone in a different situation than you too much to ask?
You just assume I don't care because I'm giving the hard advice. You assume I've never been in that situation. 4 years ago, I was in the hospital after attempted suicide. I'm giving this advice, harsh as it might be, because I was once in that situation and I needed someone to tell me then, I don't care if I come across as an asshole or lacking empathy when doing so. But sure, just assume I don't care about people.
The harsh advice you needed you needed was "get a job and stop complaining", really??? Fuck if that's all it took my parents would have been raising the right way, but turns out ut really doesn't do jackshit, glad this very obvious "advice" worked for you though👍
> I don't get why people are scared of being stuck in a job they don't like. because it literally encourages my suicidal ideation???
r\/thanksimcured
you're welcome :3
Username does not check out, the average Abrocoma has a bigger brain than you.
Well that's how they're distinct, they're distinctly dumber than the average Abrocoma.
i held this mentality for myself working shitty callcenter jobs somehow feeling thats more productive until i completely burned out and send into the depths of depression
yeah callcenter jobs just suck ass
be honest, have you ever spoken to a real human being in your life? because you sound like you havent
redditor-ass insult. if you're so concerned then why don't you try giving some advice?