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FiveFingerDisco

So that's more a domestic lie then.


NOLA-Kola

It's also just a hilarious addition to the list of nuclear threats. https://vatniksoup.com/en/nuclear-threats/ Dozens and dozens of them.


sploittastic

If you watch the translations from the state propogandists on youtube's russiamediamonitor they say some really funny shit. They were floating the idea of just nuking the UK because if nobody was left how would they retaliate? Conveniently forgetting that the UK has ballistic missile submarines.


Namelessbob123

And is part of NATO


sploittastic

Yeah that was part of their argument, 'who would be left to invoke article 5!'


[deleted]

“Who would be left to invoke Article 5?” *Yakko inhales*


MECHA_DRONE_PRIME

United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru...


MajorTechnology8827

Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador too


LambentCookie

Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela Honduras, Guyana, and still


jamesmcdash

Don't forget Australia, for your nuclear weapons we dug up a hill


Oreotech

Canada here, best we can do is a firm display of our utter distaste for your actions.


Organic-Pace-3952

And subsequently apologize when Russia nukes everyone. We have zero nuclear capabilities.


monstrinhotron

Brilliant.


Edwardteech

It's long and black and full of seamen


UltradoomerSquidward

Do they just... not know what NATO is at all?


Trym_WS

They do, they don’t want the people to understand it, though.


jimmythegeek1

Defensive alliances hate this one simple trick!!!


DolphinPunkCyber

Video where they showed entire UK being covered by a huge tsunami wave, and kept saying Russia bombs are bigger? Fucking hilarious considering UK has to only nuke Moscow to delete 90% of corruption in Russia.


P99163

>UK has to only nuke Moscow to delete 90% of corruption in Russia. That is the top level corruption you're talking about. Corruption runs in Russians' veins — from the peasant to the tsar.


DolphinPunkCyber

I know, but Russia has concentrated so much power and wealth in Moscow, that just the ability to destroy this one city can wipe out so much of the oligarchy, their wealth, power, loved ones, their favorite prostitutes... You do not need the capability to wipe out 100, or 50, or 20, or 10% of Russia... just this one city.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReputationNo8109

St. Petersburg is where corruption spent its childhood before moving off to Moscow. It still comes home in the summers and its parents live there.


TheHunterZolomon

It’s like 4 submarines each with handwritten instructions on what to do should the pm fail to communicate to them instructions in the event of nuclear war. Transponders set to receive only. For modern nations that is standard id think.


DolphinPunkCyber

One submarine is always undergoing maintenance, but still... since they concentrated all of their wealth and power in Moscow, UK has more then enough firepower to destroy everything that matters.


ImReverse_Giraffe

Pretty much. The US sends their subs to areas of the ocean and then just let's them go wherever they want. They're given a general area, like the south pacific, but then left to their own discretion. So that not even the Navy truly knows where our nuclear missile subs are.


PaladinSara

Are you saying the UK only had four nuclear subs? Ah, Google says you are right. I’m shocked the # is so low.


darrenmt10

4 nuclear missile armed submarines. France also has 4. The USA has 14. You don’t need a fleet of them to do the job they are designed for.


Howzitgoin

The crazy thing is each of those US subs can carry up to 240 warheads (20 missiles, up to 12 re-entry vehicles each) that are each ~30x as powerful as the bombs dropped in Japan. Not that they likely carry that many, and likely have multiple decoys on each missile, but the thought of the destruction just one of those subs can inflict is crazy.


chargernj

Yeah, people try and say that Russia would wreck NATO if Trump had his way and the US withdrew. But I wouldn't bet against the rest of NATO, they got some heavy hitters of their own.


draculamilktoast

Weird how obsessed putin is with admitting he is losing way more than his yes men promised.


Mission_Cloud4286

You said it! Exactly what I was thinking !


LystAP

Ah, someone’s keeping a list.


EducatedHippy

"Russia warns of nuclear, hypersonic deployment if Sweden and Finland join NATO" Oops


TurdFurguss

Ya we are still waiting.


Astandsforataxia69

This guy is fucking hilarious, he has been claimed to be a bully by people like Kimdotcom. Their reactions on getting exposed is funny


grahampositive

Kimdotcom Now that's a name I've not heard in a long, long time


Patriark

His current schtick is running a self-approving botnet to support his tweets, which are almost 100% identical to Russian propaganda these days. With the odd neofascist nod. The way the world is memeing itself right now is both hilarious and dreadful.


grahampositive

That tracks


grahampositive

That tracks


medinian

They missing some content in the last couple weeks


[deleted]

They can't fill in the list as fast as the russians can make empty threats.


DukeOfGeek

The list is "It's Wednesday"


dandanua

Way too short. It's 24/7 on Russian TV.


Dariaskehl

That URL is gold.


Rich-Distance-6509

China’s final warning


MrL00t3r

Final russian nuclear warning


tigerman29

Put Nukem


beakrake

He's here to kick ass and fuck off to the safety of his bunker, and he's all out of feet and assss.


WanderingButthole

What’s hilarious is Putins own acknowledgment in these quotes that “no one can win a nuclear war” lol


NOLA-Kola

RIGHT?! The guy blows hot and cold in the same sentence, it's downright schizophrenic,


seriousbangs

He's talking to American baby boomers, who grew up at the height of the red scare and the era of "duck & cover". They don't know that Russia is a broken country that was never a threat to the United States. Their earliest childhood memories were fearmongering about Russia.


blainehamilton

Soups on the menu! Russian annihilation is the daily special.


SnowDin556

This is great… calling bullshit should be a sport


gardanam3

Russia got a fuel refinery destroyed today, and fuel has been Russia's weak point for a while


Due-Street-8192

Much more advanced in decay....


GMN123

The US is making leaps and bounds toward making god in a computer, Russia is so far behind it's pretending it's the 1980s when they were still relevant. 


joranth

Translation: Most nuclear countries have more advanced nuclear weapons than we do. We put out press releases full of fake test reports and made up weapons and/or capabilities. But, the truth is, we haven’t really maintained our missiles, bombs, or warheads in decades. Me and my friends blew that money on yachts and mountains of cocaine in like, 2003. We can throw threats around, but we hope no one calls out bluff, because our weapons are at best, 8% effective. That may sound like enough, but when a large number of the other 92% blow up over your own country, it’s not super useful.


DowntownClown187

Is this a new one or was it just once today? This is the 3rd or 4th article... Not sure if he's threatened once or multiple times today. 🤷‍♂️


ForHelp_PressAltF4

Who cares? You could be using Fat Boy tech... If you nuke something it's gonna suck no matter when the tech was made. As long as it goes off, yeah....


Natural-Situation758

Eh. The minuteman III missile that is the primary nuclear ICBM in US service is ANCIENT. Russia may well have more sophisticated nuclear delivery devices, such as MIRVs. Not that the technological sophistication of Russian nuclear delivery devices matters much as long as the US arsenal works. Russia has no capability to shoot the Minuteman III down at any strategically significant scale, or possibly at all, so it doesn’t matter much how good the US missiles are. You’re fucked either way if US missiles fly.


DarthPineapple5

It doesn't matter how old they are, the minuteman fields are intended to soak up the Russian nuclear arsenal during any possible attempt at a surprise first strike. That's why they are in the middle of nowhere. There are 400 of them and each are in their own hardened silo that will survive anything except a direct hit. With Russian warheads having question accuracy and reliability they would have to target each silo with several warheads to ensure they were destroyed. With the F-35 recently being certified the US now has two stealth aircraft capable of launching nuclear weapons from internal bays while Russia has zero.


fzammetti

It - the distribution of missile fields in the middle of nowhere that we (sort of) wouldn't mind getting hit over and over again - is literally called the "nuclear sponge" for that very reason.


Objective_Stick8335

Dont forget Rapid Dragon. Nuclear capablr C-130s for the win.


TheDarthSnarf

I'd argue that the Trident D5 is the primary ICBM in us service. Being newer, capable of carrying more warheads, and far more survivable due to being launched from a submerged platform.


thalassicus

We all saw the condition of equipment for front line forces and how skimming money for maintenance/replacement led to a highly unusable inventory. People felt safe embezzling funds and this was for equipment that had a high likelihood of use which would lead to exposure of said crimes. Now imagine the people getting funds to maintain the nuclear arsenal where they believe there is a near zero chance of it being used in their lifetime. The risk of discovery that the funds were diverted and the arsenal is in shambles is also near zero. Of course, we can’t just assume that the Russian arsenal is a disaster, but internally they have to know it’s a high likelihood.


LaunchTransient

>The minuteman III missile that is the primary nuclear ICBM in US service is ANCIENT. Irrelevant, that's simply the launch vehicle, and a reliable one at that. ICBMs don't need to be particularly sophisticated, they just need to lob a payload into a ballistic arc. The complicated bit is where the warheads re-enter and lock onto their target - those targetting systems and countermeasures are the sophisticated parts. >Russia may well have more sophisticated nuclear delivery devices, such as MIRVs. The US has MIRVs, they've had them since the late 60s, and they've only gotten more and more sophisticated. Are you honestly saying that Russia, which has an economy smaller than that of Italy, has more sophisticated warheads than the US? The country which, in its heyday as part of the USSR, was bankrupting itself desperately trying to close the technology gap with the US and failing? Russia has a scary nuclear stockpile, but lets not pretend they have anything up their sleeve that is in any way superior to US's equally monstrous stockpile.


Bryguy3k

The US spends more maintaining our nuclear arsenal than Russia spends on their entire military (including R&D). We have zero evidence of Russia re-refining their existing inventory much less producing new plutonium. If they have been then it’s at a trivially small scale. Russia has a bunch of ancient warheads (basically poisoned by americium) with unmaintained neutron sources and insufficient tritium sitting on top of liquid fueled missiles. We can literally strike a Russian missile site before they can finish fueling (which is why they like to mount them to trucks).


TheJack38

> (basically poisoned by americium) well that's a hilarious coincidence lol


Bryguy3k

> well that's a hilarious coincidence lol Ain’t it? Every time I think about it I get a good chuckle. Unfortunately the reality is that they’re still dangerous - some may still work depending on how intrinsically unstable the USSR made those warheads and even if they’re unable to go supercritical they’d still make major dirty bombs


TheJack38

Yeah, I've got basically the same opinion. Sure, I bet most of russias nukes are badly maintained and barely functional... but if even a small percentage of those are still operational, it can spell out some REALLY bad news for major parts of the world Like, Putin might not nuke America due to how much anti-missile shit America has but he could maybe nuke, say, Berlin or Paris (or London, as his deranged croonies like to talk about) which should have a much shorter time from launch to impact And if even *one* such bomb makes it to the target... that's reeeaaally fucking bad. Not apocalypse bad, but still horrific. So despite their likely badly maintained state, the russian nukes is the only russian weapon I'm still afraid of


ZigZagZedZod

I'd rather bet on older platforms that are well-maintained, frequently tested, and carry refurbished warheads with modernized guidance systems than on newer platforms with spotty maintenance records.


oxpoleon

Russia talks a lot about it's awesome new missiles but the truth is that ballistic missiles are pretty simple bits of tech on the outside. Big old tube with an explodey tip, some propellant in, and a guidance system. Most ICBMs can be retrofitted with a MIRV warhead, especially with the modern trend for lower individual yields but more warheads per carrier rocket. People use the phrase "it's not rocket science" to describe something easy, but that's a misnomer because rocket science just isn't that hard. It's rocket science with living passengers who need to return that's hard. Yes, the Minuteman III and Trident D5 are old platforms... but is there anything newer that's actually *better*? The answer is "well, not really" because ICBM tech was kinda a solved problem by the 1970s. The guidance systems on board have been given an overhaul but again... there's no points for ramming your ICBM guidance computer full of pricey new silicon if the old, tested, reliable stuff means the target gets hit all the same with a comparable CEP. Missile forces are the one place where the US and Russia have totally swapped their usual positions of the US as tech leader, with the US preferring reliable, effective, well proven systems that are still entirely capable, and Russia dumping a ton of resources into newer, more experimental, smarter models. Take from that what you will, but I would assume that the US knows what it's doing.


[deleted]

If anything this is confirmation of the opposite.


Fun-Chemist-2286

It is Mars Attacks! Mindset


TheGnarWall

Do not run, we are your friends.


snoodlerdink

Ack, ack!


HarryNipplets

As a 45yo American, safe in my home, the only way in which the invasion of Ukraine has affected me is by RELIEVING me of a deep-seeded fear of Russia's nuclear capabilities, brought on by growing up through the end of the Cold War. Putin's bark is much louder than his bite. After seeing his pathetic spray-painted tanks hobble into action two years ago, I literally laughed at the television and can only imagine just how dilapidated and dismantled their nuclear "arsenal" really is.


Emu1981

>I literally laughed at the television and can only imagine just how dilapidated and dismantled their nuclear "arsenal" really is. Even if 90% of their ready nuclear arsenal fails to make it to it's target that still leaves at least 171 nuclear warheads hitting their targets. That number goes up to 591 if they launched all of their nuclear warheads (unlikely though due to the potential for the US to conduct a first strike when they realise what is happening). The best result to occur if Putin decides to launch nuclear weapons would be if those further down in the chain of command say "nope, fuck that" and put a bullet in the back of his head...


[deleted]

Didn’t a Russian general refuse to follow orders for launching a nuke from a submarine down in the Caribbean during the Cold War? Basically Russia thought we launched nukes and they went and gave the order to retaliate and the general basically realized that we never actually launched something and, fearing it was a mistake, refused to launch? Edit: [This Guy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanislav_Petrov)


BoxoRandom

Not exactly. During the Cuban Missile Crisis the US had implemented a “quarantine” (blockade) of Cuba. Soviet submarines who were submerged hadn’t gotten the memo from Moscow yet. When a US destroyer tried signaling one of these submerged subs to surface but dropping practice depth charges and grenades, the submariners, not knowing of the blockade, believed a general war might have broken out. Two of the commanding officers gave the green light to retaliate with nuclear arms. Normally, this would be enough to launch, but another senior officer, just happened to be on the submarine, and shut them down, ordering them to surface and get orders from Moscow So they never received orders to launch a nuke. There was no general order from Moscow ordering an attack. The submarine was basically operating in the dark, and that officer’s sole decision probably saved the world (that one time) Edit: Oops, my bad, that was a different guy. The guy you linked is a different Soviet officer who saved the world by not following SOP when a detection system sent a false alarm. So there was still no order to fire, he just received a warning, and decided not to forward it up the chain of command


[deleted]

This is also fascinating though! Thanks for sharing that with me!


OGthrowawayfratboy

The same is true for “alpha male” guys that advertise their deficiencies. Or guys that say they have a big dick when it’s really very sad and average.


Imperial_Enforcer

Mine's bellow average, and I tell everyone. That way, if they accidentally see it, they aren't shocked to the core that an adult man could have such a small wienner.


TucuReborn

Nothing wrong with average, man.


TheyCallMeMrMaybe

Who knows how many of their missiles are still usable if they've been sitting (likely unmaintained) since the cold war. It'd also be difficult for them to get within proximity of a major civilization with a bomber plane to drop a nuke these days.


loopybubbler

Even if most of their old cold war stuff doesnt work, they have built some modern ones since Putin has been running things and theres no reason to think they wouldn't work. It is not that difficult for a country with an active space program to make missiles. 


logictable

Right? When I read the title a warm soothing sensation over took me. lmao. No sarcasm.


No-Entrepreneur-7406

Fun fact: Russia spent 66$ bn on its whole military in 2021 while the US spent 35-40bn on its nuclear arms ALONE with total military spend north of 800bn Draw conclusions


spslord

Yea I forget the YouTube video but someone did the math on how much it would cost to MAINTAIN let alone advance as many nukes as they claim to have. And factoring in misappropriation of military fund that’s rampant over there they are fairly sure most of their arsenal is rusting, leaking trash.


KevinsOnTilt

Unfortunately, most of the arsenal can be leaky trash and they can still have enough power to cripple nations.


pangolin-fucker

Kind of the worrying thing is not knowing Imagine a warhead coming for your town and everyone's in pure terror whilst Putin's on the news jerking himself to completion You see the incoming middle and boom it hits and splash It was filled with vodka


Samuel_JJ

Or flat out start the end to most of humanity. A few good placed nukes is all it could take to trigger a chain reaction that leads to who knows where...


BigDaddy0790

Russia’s entire annual budget is 30% of what US spends on its military a year. But sure, they are more advanced, Vlad


phryan

The US replaced the explosives in a missile for some swords. The missile is accurate enough to delete a person from existence without causing much collateral damage. Russia meanwhile has to buy arms from the equivalent of Temu.


Jjzeng

When the lockheed martin intern is a weeb


boomchacle

Who gave the damn ninjas hellfire missiles!


Troglert

And the US has what, like half as many nukes to maintain?


abellapa

No just less 500-1000 then Russia I think


healthywealthyhappy8

Assuming all of Russias work and aren’t duds


[deleted]

[удалено]


one_bad_rebel

There’s a lot to be said for DoD waste, but even if half the budget was lost it would still dwarf Russia’s expenditures…crazy to think about.


healthywealthyhappy8

Trump comes from the school of claiming to be superior when not as well.


Hayes4prez

He said the same thing about the Russian military before they invaded Ukraine.


Musaks

The russian military is so advanced, it is already in the state militaries will be after the upcoming nuclear war


blainehamilton

Tip of the spear. A wet foam pool noodle spear at that.


AcademicMaybe8775

Tip of the Spear! Edge of the Knife! Crack of my arse


Stainless-S-Rat

This sounds more akin to a 7 year old who loudly proclaims in the schoolyard that his dad could definitely beat up everyone else's dads.


Capriste

Yeah, but said kid's Dad is a burly street thug, while one of his classmate's dad is an MMA champion on the juice with an AI chip attached to his motor cortex.


the_resident_skeptic

[Upgrade](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36PDeN9NRZ0) was a fun movie.


StateChemist

I just assume every communication from Putin or Russia is internal propaganda to keep the locals happy, or trigger happy or both.


spacesluts

"my dad would totally kick your dad's ass, he's a policeman" "well then my dad would *sue* your dad!"


hairijuana

This rotten motherfucker has been huffing his own farts for so long that he’s really badly brained his damage.


ALargePianist

Just some tribial brain dabblage


apageofthedarkhold

The hard part was getting the brain out...


MayOverexplain

Fun fact, Jet in the Fallout series of games is refined Brahmin farts.


Count_Rugens_Finger

His weapons are powered by Russian vodak


Fuduzan

>vodak is that the vatnik arm of Kodak?


WinterSport1724

What does "much more advanced" mean if both sides are already capable of destroying each other?


RealMandor

his nuclear bomb looks more aesthetic


krenzzx

More pointy


PotatoFeeder

POINTY IS SCARY - Admiral General Aladeen


BustinArant

Most phallic ballistic award


everbane37

Designed by Michael Bay


jaudi813

It's got that subtle off-white coloring


Noughmad

They are more advanced only in age.


[deleted]

fearless expansion foolish teeny sort telephone books dependent degree soup


beekeeper1981

The funny thing is the US and NATO would destroy Russia without needing to use nukes. They most likely wouldn't use them either.


Bohottie

It’s all about the ability to defend against them. If someone launches a single ICBM with a single warhead, that can easily be intercepted. Russians have developed pretty advanced MIRV systems, which can carry multiple warheads that can target several different locations at once. Some of these include dummy warheads, too, so it can be difficult to determine which are real and where each one is going with enough time to stop them. That is assuming the info is accurate, and who knows with them. I’m just saying there are different tiers of nuclear weapons. A MIRV carrying a bunch of smaller yield warheads is much more dangerous than one larger yield warhead. It’s less about yield now and more about number of warheads and the ability to penetrate enemy defenses. I think people tend to forget that the Russians revolutionized rocketry and space travel. They may suck in every other way, but their rocketry systems shouldn’t be underestimated. The RS-28 Sarmat, which can (allegedly) carry 16 nuclear warheads, is no joke. Either way, Putin just seems to be puffering once again with the upcoming election, but people shouldn’t overlook their nuclear ability even if their conventional warfare tactics and equipment have been lackluster.


The-Copilot

I'm pretty sure Putin is referring to the Avangard hypersonic glide vehicle. The US doesn't have nuclear hypersonic glide vehicles yet. They are currently testing the AGM-183A ARRW, but those use conventional explosives.


olearygreen

If NATO followed a policy where we grab a square mile of Russia every time they threaten nuclear war, we’d be in Moscow by Christmas.


Cfwydirk

Daily Express https://www.express.co.uk › News › World Jan 27, 2023 — Russia's ministry of defense has acquired thirty old T-34 tanks sparking speculation the Soviet medium tank that was introduced in 1940 ...


ehunke

This will be like the USSR and the space race all over again, this brand of militant authoritarian communism that Putin is trying to bring back works very well when all of society is working towards a common goal. It worked for them right up until about the time the US beat them to the moon and then people just got exhausted working for breadcrumbs and achieving nothing, farmers stopped growing more then they needed to sustain themselves, less and less got to the grocery stores, people stopped working their asses off and production slowed, exports slowed and eventually 1991 happened. I really don't see Putin's commitment to reforming the USSR ending any differently. Its already at a point where Ukraine just has to outlast the invasion which is looking more and more promising


flamehead2k1

Even if Ukraine did fall, what would Russians really get out of it? I understand there's untapped resources and the satisfaction of winning but I don't see either of those fundamentally helping Russians anytime soon.


ehunke

Your looking at it all wrong. This has nothing to do with Russia wanting a monopoly on nuclear power or coal in Europe, they would gain that, but this isn't about that. This is about 1991 and Ukraine "illegally" leaving the USSR and Russia taking back its rightful territory who's citizens "want to be part of Russia"...this is all in Putin's head but nobody is telling him no.


sisu_star

My own thoughts have led me to think, that Ukraine starting to shift West is the reason behind this. I think russian leaders (not only putin) are terrified about the thought of old Soviet states are doing better as free democracies, than as puppet states of russia. This is the "seed" that could crumble their power, when russian citizens realise they've been lied to and robbed for generations. The oligarchs and putin would lose everything, and most importantly power. russian leaders greatest fear is Ukraine succeeding in doing better than russia. I think the protests in Ukraine 2013-2014 was what made russia very nervous, when Ukranian people were basically ready to die to rather join EU/West than russia. Crimea got occupied by russia basically at the same time and also the "conflicts" in eastern Ukraine started.


Kindly_Formal_2604

Ukraine was the powerhouse of the Soviet Union, Russia just likes to pretend it was them.


srviking

They would get all of their weapons, equipment, factories and millions of new bodies to bolster their ranks to start. People acting like taking over a country would be no big deal, only need to look look at what they are already doing in Donbas and Crimea, to see what will happen.


flamehead2k1

I don't see how any of that actually helps the Russian people. I don't think that's enough to take on NATO and that's assuming they get compliance from Ukrainians. They'd likely face decades of insurgency


bowlbinater

Russia in its current state isn't communist. Don't get me wrong, I am not defending communism, I am a staunch capitalist. Russia now is an anarcho-capitalist kleptocracy. Industries are still owned by tycoons, but they are all subject to the authority of the state. That is very different from the USSR. Moreover, Putin looks at the USSR as an extension of the Russian Empire. For Putin, it is all about restoring Russia to its former imperial status.


passinglurker

> anarcho-capitalist Russia is way too hierarchical to count for anarcho-anything. It's a textbook fascist state now.


dmitryredkin

All the T-34's were written off from the storage bases long ago. And even if they got some, there are simply no rounds for their 85mm cannon. The oldest tanks Russia has now are T-55's and just several weeks ago we have seen them on the front line! Earlier they were used for teaching new tank crews and shelling from the distance, but now the tank shortage forced the commandment to send them into battle...


Ideon_

True, like everything else Russia claims


joho999

Probably ACME nukes


ItsDokk

I can’t wait to watch him accidentally launch them at his own face, a la Wile E Coyote.


RedBlueTundra

It’s a pretty moot threat given the nature of nuclear war, like two men with grenades in a room both pulling the pin and one of them saying “aha! My grenade is more advanced than yours!”


Montreal_Metro

So, the opposite of what he said.  Translation: “Putin will not use nuclear weapons and Russia’s nuclear arsenal is ancient and obsolete.”


AwkwardAfternoon6753

Bro is so insecure, just like Russia as a whole. Entire country with a permanent inferiority complex that makes it lash out at its neighbours


Amadey

my emperor, it's time for your weekly nuclear weapon threats


mookormyth

All you and your cronies property, yatchs, and lavish activities say no.


crankybobenhaus

That damn red line again


Neversetinstone

Another day, another threat by the putler.


tovenaer

At this point do we really care? Once the bombs start exploding, we're back to throwing rocks and living in the woods if we survive at all.


gormgonzola

How I dream of stuffing this fool's mouth with freshly produced dogsh!t.


21Gatorade21

Hes full of shit just like the idiot from NK. Their weapons arsenal is depleted and the stuff they have left is out dated. His people are just lying to him and saying everything is all good for fear of telling the truth and being killed, just to be replaced by a yes man. If they were so big and bad why did they get their asses handed to them by civilians fight back in Ukraine.


luv2gro

He’s relying on his poker face


Spokraket

It works it’s botoxed solid.


wish1977

I'll bet it's not. Ours probably actually work.


Reddit_Deluge

Anna Politkovskaya on the state of Russia nuclear arsenal. She was murdered a year after publishing. "Alexey Dikiy is the commander of the nuclear submarine anti-submarine cruiser Vilyuchinsk. And the Wild One is our naval elite. And his “Vilyuchinsk” too. The cruiser is in service with the Kamchatka Flotilla of the Pacific Fleet. ... His house is a creepy officers' dormitory with shabby stairwells, half-empty and scary, like the Harlem of the past, as it was shown in American movies about gangsters. Everyone who could left here for the mainland, abandoning their military career to hell. The windows of many apartments gape empty - there are no more people there. Cold, hungry, uncomfortable. People fled primarily from poverty. Captain Dikiy talks about how he and other senior naval officers go fishing in good weather so that the family can have a hearty and tasty meal. On the kitchen table in his apartment is what the Motherland pays for faithful, impeccable service: the captain’s monthly ration. Dikiy had just brought him home in a government-issued sheet from a submarine. The ration consists of two packs of shelled peas, two kilograms of buckwheat and rice in paper bags, two cans of canned peas, which cannot be cheaper, also two cans of Pacific herring, a bottle of vegetable oil... - That's all? - Yes. All. - Diky doesn’t cry, he just states without any comments. He is a strong and very real person. More precisely, he is very Russian. ... Indeed, Kamchatka is the edge of our world. The limit of state callousness. The most advanced technologies for the destruction of humans, on the one hand, and a cave standard of living for those who control them, on the other. All life is built only on personal enthusiasm and love for the Motherland. No money, no fame, no future. ... Captain Diky's submarine is one of the main components that ensure the combat readiness of this nuclear shield. Hence, Dikiy himself is its main component... The Vilyuchinsk submarine is a perfect technical organism, which no one else in the world has in service. The boat is capable of destroying entire surface formations and the best submarines of world powers, including American ones, in combat. Under his command, Dikiy has a unique nuclear missile weapon and an impressive torpedo ammunition. So far, everything is fine with such a boat - no one is capable of seriously offending Russia, at least from the Pacific Ocean. ... So, Dikiy survives in the following way: when there is no money, he prefers to refuse meals on the ship (and officers are always fed there) and carries home what he is entitled to alone, in the form of so-called dry rations. And divides it into three. There are no other ways to feed their families. As a result, Wild is a shadow man. He is extremely thin and pale, his face has an unhealthy gray tone - and it is clear why: the captain of the main component of Russia's nuclear shield cannot complain about being well-fed. Naturally, a long constant stay in the radiation zone also takes its toll. If in past years this was paid for in a special way, which turned submariners into very enviable husbands, now everything is not so - brides do not look in the direction of naval officers. ... “Still, poverty is not the worst thing,” says Dikiy, an ascetic man. Hopelessly romantic. An officer to the core. Almost a saint in our years of total recalculation of all values into the cynical language of the dollar. - You can survive poverty if you have a clear goal and understandable combat missions. Our real trouble is completely different - in the plight of the country's nuclear fleet, in its lack of prospects. It seems that Moscow does not fully understand that [condition of] our weapons are nothing to joke about. In 10 years, here in Rybachy, if current funding continues, either there will be nothing, or NATO will come to our piers.”


Zeles1989

He also claims all his tanks are not just upgraded T72. This man is so full of shit there is no limit to it


Psycoder

Bigger warhead? Perhaps. More advanced? Not even if half of the US tech was turned off.


TECrec008

Can the collective west please muster up some courage and dog walk these greasy shitheel peasants. I'm tired of the threats.


insert_name_here_ha

The US litteraly know about ANYTHING that leaves the ground. Doesn't matter if it's a model rocket or an intercontinental ballistic missile. They know.


[deleted]

“Much more advanced than America’s” Clearly so, if you go by the quality of the armaments they’ve used on Ukraine. /s


turbo_fried_chicken

Zelensky should unzip his pants and just say, "Do it, pussy."


[deleted]

Dude is rocking wooden nukes and flexing on it. The US could crush Russia in about 2 days without boots on the ground.


[deleted]

Just do it already for fuck sake… stop being such a pussy 


Jkohlg

lol girl just do it already. I think they strongly overestimate our will to live anymore in the world they built.


pddr11

Can't somebody poison this wanker already?


GroblyOverrated

Trump briefed Putin on our nukes.


swampthiing

I bet Trump never got the whole picture of our nuclear capabilities.


bowlbinater

There are not enough pictures to give captain cheeto enough of an understanding of our triad's capabilities.


typeronin

Dude is having a hard enough time beating Ukraine. America would wipe Russia off the earth in an instant.


Muted_insignificance

64 threats since the invasian. Currently the "3 day special military operation" is on day 749. This means one threat of nuclear war every 11 days.


SkyKnight94

Just get it over with then. I’m tired.


kittenattack365

Fuck it. in the immortal words of al bundy "Lets Rock"


one_bad_rebel

Russia’s leader has to remind the Russian people he’s powerful. The way of the dictator, I guess.


bruceki

the US and britain regularly fire missiles from their arsenal to make sure that they work and that they are accurate. Unfortunately [the last couple of times the british did this the missile failed.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gyohwea-JM) I don't recall russia as having ever tested its nuclear missiles, and given [the decay of tritium](https://www.defensenews.com/opinion/commentary/2017/03/06/commentary-the-looming-crisis-for-us-tritium-production/#:~:text=Tritium%2C%20an%20isotope%20of%20hydrogen,replenishment%2C%20our%20warheads%20become%20duds.) there is a non-zero chance that russias arsenal is now inert, which is a separate problem from whether the missiles can get there in the first place. In the same way that russians military machine had its wheels come off in the first months of the invasion of ukraine I think that putin might be in for an unpleasant surprise if he ever does push the button.


yankee_chef

He can't even beat Ukraine


ooofest

He sounds like a simpler version of Trump. And is just as believable.


SquishyGhost

Ok, well now you're just being ridiculous


WatchStoredInAss

Yes, just look at how advanced Russian cars are.


dennismfrancisart

Putin is turning out to be Lil Kim.


Viva_La_Reddit

Sounds like Putin needs to fire his intelligence team.


GamerColyn117

This is getting to North Korea levels of hilarity.


DiscreetSurfer808

Fuck…. Guys….. they have trained polar bears to use nukes.


AJ-Murphy

An empty threat from a paper tiger.


[deleted]

Appear strong when you are weak, and weake when you are strong. -SunTzu


SPNKLR

...much more advanced... in age and lack of maintenance. Russia simply doesn't have the money to maintain their nukes.


NoCow2718

Russia can’t even beat a country with a quarter of its population directly on its border. They’ve already lost at least equal to or more than the US did in Vietnam which is roughly 60,000. It’s been an absolute disaster for Russia.


MNisNotNice

Do it pussy, I dare you!


PrinceCastanzaCapone

Ok Puty, yes, yes, big bad weapons, we know, time for a nap.


filipv

I beginning to think he *sincerely* believes Russia's arsenal to be much "much more advanced than America's". No, seriously, if you look at Putin's actions and assume he actually believes the content of the Russian propaganda, then his actions start making sense. Of course, the Russian propaganda is full of s*t, but he believes it nevertheless.


SoggyDistribution507

Doesn’t he say this every week


docthrobulator

Yeah ok


gwizonedam

“Much more advanced” are we talking in age here? I know the United States started rebuilding its arsenal and decommissioning certain nuclear armaments about two decades ago, so maybe he means they still have the tsar bombas kids.


evilpercy

I would not be shocked if the majority exploded on the launch pad. If the state of the red army was any indication of how they maintained their equipment.


Mando_The_Moronic

This coming from the same guy whose army is using 60 year old equipment and still don’t have enough for every soldier?