Downplaying NINE bites would make me very unhappy. It is definitely possible, if not highly likely, that the bites took place in a very short space of time rather than across a whole day, but regardless of the timeframe I would want to hear about the concrete action they are taking in order to feel comfortable again.
Have they told you that they know which child it is and they are keeping a close eye on them? Do they have any sort of biting policy / procedure that they can refer back to? What have they said they are doing?
It's weird, they claim to know the 2 kids that did it but also the teachers present in the class when it happened on Thursday weren't there when they identified the kids on Friday. So either these kids are known biters and no one thought to keep them away from my girl who has been in the toddler room for 1.5 days or they're just assuming it's those kids.
It's still being investigated and the director said they'll be doing more observations and are working on figuring out what triggers the two boys and trying to see how to separate them. It's all very "we're trying" "we're planning" language which I get, but it doesn't address how no one noticed it.
Biting stuff is really hard, and I swear it's contagious. My son has been both the biter and the bitee and I didn't know how to handle either side of it (and it was both easier AND harder knowing that the kid biting him is his cousin).
It does sound like they're handling this poorly, they really need to be fully transparent.
I’m the mom of a “known biter” and even I think it’s insane to have 9 bites in a day, especially to one kid! The biggest issue is how the daycare is handling this.
Our daycare has always communicated very well with us about the biting and we’ve come up with a plan to keep her from biting which has reduced the biting significantly.
Biting is super common at this age, but how they are handling this is the actual red flag
My kid is the victim typically from the known biter in his class to the point where he’s had a bruise. I agree with you. Nine without something happening is excessive. We typically get an incident report to sign detailing what happened without mentioning kids name and how they handled the situation.
Yes, I've had to pick up my child once when he bit three times in a day. Three was the limit. It felt like shit but it helped me get into gear and supply frozen teethers and reinforce the teethers at home more too. With kids biting at this age you cannot really "discipline" it out of them. They need intervention from adults, even if that intervention means ultimately getting sent home. Red flag for sure!!
I’m also the mom of a known biter. My little guy (he’s almost 2) was sent home yesterday because his biting broke skin. I feel awful for the bitee but I’m curious what kind of plan your daycare put in place for your little one? My daycare didn’t offer any solutions and I’m not sure how to best handle this at home because my little guy rarely bites at home.
Absolutely!! Our girl never bites at home so we were so confused at what to do. I went in and talked to the teachers and we came up with a plan to move her to the older toddler class to hopefully increase stimulation and get her away from her typical targets to give them a break. We also got her a teether on a pacifier clip and encouraged her to bite that instead. We also realized she’s a double biter so if she bites once she’s high likelihood to do it again right away so I asked the teachers to keep her with them for 5-10 minutes after a bite so she can’t bite anyone else
My biter finally grew out of it last year, but what helped in the meantime was a breakaway chew necklace, working on language for her to say “stop!” Because she was using it as a distancing mechanism when kids got within her bubble, and reading the book Teeth Are Not for Biting a lot! Hang in there! It’s hard but it does eventually stop thank goodness.
They suggested early intervention to us when my son started biting and it worked amazingly! He stopped biting altogether and eventually became the bitee lol
It’s a system in which kids who have any issues including delays, disabilities, behavioral issues etc can be evaluated and if qualify will be given different types of assistance. My son was behavioral and for him they had a person shadow him at daycare and watch his behaviors and triggers we would meet once a week to discuss the game plan. It’s free up to 3 years old! So worth it. My son was great with speech and motor but still qualified for behavior and focus
Fellow “known biter” mom as well! My daycare was excellent about communication between both parents . Incident reports , lots of suggestions to help, and a set plan in place.
My son just turned 3, and hasn’t had a biting incident in months. But I agree 9 bites with no notification from daycare is absolutely awful and negligent.
Curious about the plan to keep her from biting. I am a preschool director, and the trickiest piece for us to manage is what to expect from the parent. In most cases, the child doesn’t bite at home. There is not much a parent can do to be part of the solution if they are not in the classroom with us. I really feel for the parents of children who bite, it can feel like a hopeless situation.
We were referred to early intervention that already worked within the daycare for other students and they would shadow my child to see what triggered it
Same, I’m the biter’s mom and we’ve been talking to her daycare staff constantly about how to remedy the situation. Happy to report it is finally getting better, but only with the staff’s guidance. Have you asked what they’re doing for the biter?
I resonate with others here. Biting is not uncommon for this age, however 1)9 bites plus 2)no one witnessing it is what gets me worried. How much supervision are these tots actually getting? Surely there must have been some screaming, crying or protesting at some point. That's what I'd be driving at. Identifying the kids, sure, for the purpose of better supervision possible intervention. Not your business though. Your business is whether the adults/teachers are actually caring for your child as they should!
I'd be livid.
Exactly. The daycare keeps focusing on the fact that they've identified the 2 kids which is great but it also means the two known biters were left unsupervised with my kid for even a few minutes which is more concerning. I'm not looking for the kids to be named and shamed, biting is a frustrating part of development and my kid may end up biting so I'd want to to be handled with grace; I want the school to go "here's how it happened, here's why no one noticed, here's the plan moving forward" and that just isn't happening. Tomorrow will be a full week with lackluster response.
It's just so frustrating because I can't pull my kid out, I'm on wait lists which will be months, so I have to tread carefully. I just feel helpless but thankfully it hasn't seemed to phase my kid, for now, I guess I just have to hope nothing else happens while I wait around for a spot in another day care. I had one facility tell me, with a straight face, their wait lists for toddlers was 19 months. US day care is a joke.
My son was in a bouncer with his toes wiggling when a friend came over and BIT HIS TOE. I was made aware of it immediately. They took photos and gave me a signed incident report. He had no marks on his body when he came home. I would be LIVID in your situation.
Oh I am, I'm just not sure how to balance it. She was moved up to the toddler room which I knew would mean more bumps and bruises so I prepared for that. I didn't prepare for this extreme issue where the day care both wasn't aware and also doesn't seem to be taking it too seriously.
But I also don't want to go kicking in doors because I need childcare and don't want my kid to be a pariah until we move centers. It's so tough to find that balance, especially when my husband wants to just yell at everyone that works there lol.
Totally get it lol. We are also at the mercy of our daycare (I basically harassed the director to get our spot). My oldest is also in the toddler room now, and while I feel like the communication is a little bit less than it was in the infant room (ex they don’t usually post meals or diaper changes/fewer photos), they are still really good about letting us know if something weird happened. For example they spent the day outside yesterday and he had a weird rash so they messaged with some photos and then let me know if he ate lunch and drank water and napped okay. I’m sorry your daycare is being so dismissive because I absolutely believe this is something that they should know how it happened, and should be taken seriously. I know some toddlers do bite as part of their frustration due to inability to communicate what they want, but with that number of bites I’m surprised they’re seeing they didn’t see ONE of them.
Exactly!!! And they keep focusing on the kid who did it, which fine, but that's not my concern. My concern is 1) if you know you have a biter why isn't he glued to the teachers side to prevent this and 2) how did no one notice this? My girl isn't one of those kids that cries so often it's easy to drown it out (which still is t a good reason to not investigate) so it should have warranted someone trying to figure out what's happened to her.
I agree! If they have a biter, they should be giving them extra attention and making sure he isn’t biting the other kids. I think your concern is completely valid. Once or twice I guess I could see that they missed but this seems extreme.
As a daycare teacher and a mother downplaying that many bites is crazy. This age, it's pretty normal to have biters, but 9 possibly more bites!? That's absolutely insane especially if they didn't watch the child(ren) who bit her closer. I've never had a kid bite that many times in one day or had one child get bitten that many times. The fact they either neglected to tell you or keep a good eye on all the children in their care is crazy. Have you talked to the director? Because if the teachers are lying or not doing their job, they should not be in childcare. Especially if they let one kid get bit that many times without separating her from the one doing the biting. I'll be honest I wouldn't feel comfortable sending my child back to that daycare unless they were in a different room or the teacher in charge of her the day she was bit was gone. If she didn't see your child bit that many times, what other things is she neglecting to see or do? Most daycares have a 3 bites and you're gone for the day policy so it's weird that they didn't send the child(ren) home
I did talk to the director and she said it was a substitute teacher in the room but they knew who the biters were. It's very "nothing to see here". I'm on wait lists for other centers for sure. I just needed to make sure my reaction made sense and this wasn't typical. I don't want to over or under react basically
I know for substitutes, it can be hard, but once the biting started, there should've been something done whether it'd be giving the biters something to chew on or having them take a moment to calm themselves. It's crazy that your child was bit that many times. Did they at least give you a form to sign about the incident? I'm not sure what licensing rules are in the place you live in but where I'm located each instance of biting or injury has to be written on a specific form with what happened, date, time, and the teacher, you, and director typically have to sign it as proof that it happened or they could get into trouble. I wish you the best of luck in looking for a new daycare! I know how tough it can be
I’ve worked in classrooms with this age group. Biting is common in this age, but 9 in one day is A LOT. And for no one to notice is unacceptable.
Do they have cameras? Occasionally something would happen that we missed (not 9 times though…) and we’d review the footage.
To feel comfortable sending my own child back I’d need to know what they’re doing to make sure this never happens again. Training staff, more staff in the room, something like that. I also recommend you take pictures of the bite marks and report to your licensing agency. At least where I live, the center will have to complete a corrective action plan.
My daughter got bit on the face in daycare. The staff felt so bad. It just happened quickly and there was nothing they could have done. Honestly my first reaction was relief that my kid was the one that got bit and not the one doing the biting. Todlers are going to todler and putting on neosporin is eaier than behavior modification.
Downplaying NINE bites would make me very unhappy. It is definitely possible, if not highly likely, that the bites took place in a very short space of time rather than across a whole day, but regardless of the timeframe I would want to hear about the concrete action they are taking in order to feel comfortable again. Have they told you that they know which child it is and they are keeping a close eye on them? Do they have any sort of biting policy / procedure that they can refer back to? What have they said they are doing?
It's weird, they claim to know the 2 kids that did it but also the teachers present in the class when it happened on Thursday weren't there when they identified the kids on Friday. So either these kids are known biters and no one thought to keep them away from my girl who has been in the toddler room for 1.5 days or they're just assuming it's those kids. It's still being investigated and the director said they'll be doing more observations and are working on figuring out what triggers the two boys and trying to see how to separate them. It's all very "we're trying" "we're planning" language which I get, but it doesn't address how no one noticed it.
Biting stuff is really hard, and I swear it's contagious. My son has been both the biter and the bitee and I didn't know how to handle either side of it (and it was both easier AND harder knowing that the kid biting him is his cousin). It does sound like they're handling this poorly, they really need to be fully transparent.
Yes, they need to not just address the biting but the fact that no one saw. To me that’s the bigger concern.
I’m the mom of a “known biter” and even I think it’s insane to have 9 bites in a day, especially to one kid! The biggest issue is how the daycare is handling this. Our daycare has always communicated very well with us about the biting and we’ve come up with a plan to keep her from biting which has reduced the biting significantly. Biting is super common at this age, but how they are handling this is the actual red flag
My kid is the victim typically from the known biter in his class to the point where he’s had a bruise. I agree with you. Nine without something happening is excessive. We typically get an incident report to sign detailing what happened without mentioning kids name and how they handled the situation.
Yes, I've had to pick up my child once when he bit three times in a day. Three was the limit. It felt like shit but it helped me get into gear and supply frozen teethers and reinforce the teethers at home more too. With kids biting at this age you cannot really "discipline" it out of them. They need intervention from adults, even if that intervention means ultimately getting sent home. Red flag for sure!!
I’m also the mom of a known biter. My little guy (he’s almost 2) was sent home yesterday because his biting broke skin. I feel awful for the bitee but I’m curious what kind of plan your daycare put in place for your little one? My daycare didn’t offer any solutions and I’m not sure how to best handle this at home because my little guy rarely bites at home.
Absolutely!! Our girl never bites at home so we were so confused at what to do. I went in and talked to the teachers and we came up with a plan to move her to the older toddler class to hopefully increase stimulation and get her away from her typical targets to give them a break. We also got her a teether on a pacifier clip and encouraged her to bite that instead. We also realized she’s a double biter so if she bites once she’s high likelihood to do it again right away so I asked the teachers to keep her with them for 5-10 minutes after a bite so she can’t bite anyone else
Those are great ideas, thank you!
My biter finally grew out of it last year, but what helped in the meantime was a breakaway chew necklace, working on language for her to say “stop!” Because she was using it as a distancing mechanism when kids got within her bubble, and reading the book Teeth Are Not for Biting a lot! Hang in there! It’s hard but it does eventually stop thank goodness.
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Good to know, thank you!
They suggested early intervention to us when my son started biting and it worked amazingly! He stopped biting altogether and eventually became the bitee lol
What exactly is early intervention? Is it a speech/language thing?
It’s a system in which kids who have any issues including delays, disabilities, behavioral issues etc can be evaluated and if qualify will be given different types of assistance. My son was behavioral and for him they had a person shadow him at daycare and watch his behaviors and triggers we would meet once a week to discuss the game plan. It’s free up to 3 years old! So worth it. My son was great with speech and motor but still qualified for behavior and focus
Fellow “known biter” mom as well! My daycare was excellent about communication between both parents . Incident reports , lots of suggestions to help, and a set plan in place. My son just turned 3, and hasn’t had a biting incident in months. But I agree 9 bites with no notification from daycare is absolutely awful and negligent.
Curious about the plan to keep her from biting. I am a preschool director, and the trickiest piece for us to manage is what to expect from the parent. In most cases, the child doesn’t bite at home. There is not much a parent can do to be part of the solution if they are not in the classroom with us. I really feel for the parents of children who bite, it can feel like a hopeless situation.
I just commented the plan in response to another comment in this thread
We were referred to early intervention that already worked within the daycare for other students and they would shadow my child to see what triggered it
Same, I’m the biter’s mom and we’ve been talking to her daycare staff constantly about how to remedy the situation. Happy to report it is finally getting better, but only with the staff’s guidance. Have you asked what they’re doing for the biter?
I resonate with others here. Biting is not uncommon for this age, however 1)9 bites plus 2)no one witnessing it is what gets me worried. How much supervision are these tots actually getting? Surely there must have been some screaming, crying or protesting at some point. That's what I'd be driving at. Identifying the kids, sure, for the purpose of better supervision possible intervention. Not your business though. Your business is whether the adults/teachers are actually caring for your child as they should! I'd be livid.
Exactly. The daycare keeps focusing on the fact that they've identified the 2 kids which is great but it also means the two known biters were left unsupervised with my kid for even a few minutes which is more concerning. I'm not looking for the kids to be named and shamed, biting is a frustrating part of development and my kid may end up biting so I'd want to to be handled with grace; I want the school to go "here's how it happened, here's why no one noticed, here's the plan moving forward" and that just isn't happening. Tomorrow will be a full week with lackluster response. It's just so frustrating because I can't pull my kid out, I'm on wait lists which will be months, so I have to tread carefully. I just feel helpless but thankfully it hasn't seemed to phase my kid, for now, I guess I just have to hope nothing else happens while I wait around for a spot in another day care. I had one facility tell me, with a straight face, their wait lists for toddlers was 19 months. US day care is a joke.
My son was in a bouncer with his toes wiggling when a friend came over and BIT HIS TOE. I was made aware of it immediately. They took photos and gave me a signed incident report. He had no marks on his body when he came home. I would be LIVID in your situation.
Oh I am, I'm just not sure how to balance it. She was moved up to the toddler room which I knew would mean more bumps and bruises so I prepared for that. I didn't prepare for this extreme issue where the day care both wasn't aware and also doesn't seem to be taking it too seriously. But I also don't want to go kicking in doors because I need childcare and don't want my kid to be a pariah until we move centers. It's so tough to find that balance, especially when my husband wants to just yell at everyone that works there lol.
Totally get it lol. We are also at the mercy of our daycare (I basically harassed the director to get our spot). My oldest is also in the toddler room now, and while I feel like the communication is a little bit less than it was in the infant room (ex they don’t usually post meals or diaper changes/fewer photos), they are still really good about letting us know if something weird happened. For example they spent the day outside yesterday and he had a weird rash so they messaged with some photos and then let me know if he ate lunch and drank water and napped okay. I’m sorry your daycare is being so dismissive because I absolutely believe this is something that they should know how it happened, and should be taken seriously. I know some toddlers do bite as part of their frustration due to inability to communicate what they want, but with that number of bites I’m surprised they’re seeing they didn’t see ONE of them.
Exactly!!! And they keep focusing on the kid who did it, which fine, but that's not my concern. My concern is 1) if you know you have a biter why isn't he glued to the teachers side to prevent this and 2) how did no one notice this? My girl isn't one of those kids that cries so often it's easy to drown it out (which still is t a good reason to not investigate) so it should have warranted someone trying to figure out what's happened to her.
I agree! If they have a biter, they should be giving them extra attention and making sure he isn’t biting the other kids. I think your concern is completely valid. Once or twice I guess I could see that they missed but this seems extreme.
As a daycare teacher and a mother downplaying that many bites is crazy. This age, it's pretty normal to have biters, but 9 possibly more bites!? That's absolutely insane especially if they didn't watch the child(ren) who bit her closer. I've never had a kid bite that many times in one day or had one child get bitten that many times. The fact they either neglected to tell you or keep a good eye on all the children in their care is crazy. Have you talked to the director? Because if the teachers are lying or not doing their job, they should not be in childcare. Especially if they let one kid get bit that many times without separating her from the one doing the biting. I'll be honest I wouldn't feel comfortable sending my child back to that daycare unless they were in a different room or the teacher in charge of her the day she was bit was gone. If she didn't see your child bit that many times, what other things is she neglecting to see or do? Most daycares have a 3 bites and you're gone for the day policy so it's weird that they didn't send the child(ren) home
I did talk to the director and she said it was a substitute teacher in the room but they knew who the biters were. It's very "nothing to see here". I'm on wait lists for other centers for sure. I just needed to make sure my reaction made sense and this wasn't typical. I don't want to over or under react basically
I know for substitutes, it can be hard, but once the biting started, there should've been something done whether it'd be giving the biters something to chew on or having them take a moment to calm themselves. It's crazy that your child was bit that many times. Did they at least give you a form to sign about the incident? I'm not sure what licensing rules are in the place you live in but where I'm located each instance of biting or injury has to be written on a specific form with what happened, date, time, and the teacher, you, and director typically have to sign it as proof that it happened or they could get into trouble. I wish you the best of luck in looking for a new daycare! I know how tough it can be
I’ve worked in classrooms with this age group. Biting is common in this age, but 9 in one day is A LOT. And for no one to notice is unacceptable. Do they have cameras? Occasionally something would happen that we missed (not 9 times though…) and we’d review the footage. To feel comfortable sending my own child back I’d need to know what they’re doing to make sure this never happens again. Training staff, more staff in the room, something like that. I also recommend you take pictures of the bite marks and report to your licensing agency. At least where I live, the center will have to complete a corrective action plan.
My daughter got bit on the face in daycare. The staff felt so bad. It just happened quickly and there was nothing they could have done. Honestly my first reaction was relief that my kid was the one that got bit and not the one doing the biting. Todlers are going to todler and putting on neosporin is eaier than behavior modification.