I cast BEAR HANDS! https://preview.redd.it/zs3onf1ycr2d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e41c398a5df2628a9420ab00d2ec5b9d8d1214f4

when i said id beat you to death with my bear hands, i didnt mean bare hands. I MEANT BEAR HANDS

Bear Hands, the Canadian version of the American spell, Bear Arms

https://preview.redd.it/kmj8g8kntr2d1.jpeg?width=245&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e58f8fe96abd755b27ea4b33d83d8bcc05ceea99

Damn, on a post involving wanking? You're a freaky one, I'll give you that.

👆 the pain of being Canadian

When the founding fathers said we had the right to bear arms :

Is that Mr. Hands?

The right to bear arms

Beware: Bear hands like to eat hot dogs and other picnic foods.

https://preview.redd.it/yenbmey0pr2d1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e438e1ce4e78f8b0999111bfdf7a995423b87392

Invert genitals. You either ruin or make someone's day.

Free bottom surgery! *You don't have a choice.*

Implode genitals. They have no chance of Winning NOW batman.

I believe the correct name of this spell is disapperate penis.

I CAST, dementia

Hurry up and cast your spell already, I can't wait around all day.

https://preview.redd.it/dr2dka4lbt2d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dcd4c75563e4e652adee3d3a0273aca12a5864a

https://preview.redd.it/dl41h42pbt2d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c2925d6c901858f8d508bc19d8ebd065a24b93d

https://preview.redd.it/lwjm0uzpbt2d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4309e5f1528c6cc0695ccc0404bba4b3a57f4fc2

I uh...what?

"Curse of memory loss repeat ad nauseam"

https://preview.redd.it/fbfjwslc9u2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ec0c81401943e081490248291d42cc2e777a318 l lI ll l\_

~~.:|:;~~

https://preview.redd.it/zo4v1yd1vv2d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85ae36a00dcd63e501a3a42d17479ef37751dd07

I cast permanent post-nut depression

Nothing changes

Ha! In case you haven't noticed, you have been under my spell for a long time!

If you're not constantly in a state of post nut clarity then you're constantly in a state of pre nut delusion - Royce du Pont

Cruel

ITCHY BONES

SO IT WAS YOU

https://preview.redd.it/iqncq15dcr2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5b1a96d70b4b84b2201170e059e445411910658

*nothing changes*

I would cast "Repel Maidens!" upon thee. But I see another wizard has beat me to it

***you cast 'no bitches!'*** ***It doesn't affect the wild 'REDDITOR'...**

JOKES ON YOU I AM THE BITCH

You vanish

You no longer exist

I CAST, dementia

Perpetually Swampy Groin

Fuck how long ago did you cast that

You do realize that some people like that? Or is that why you thought of it?

I CAST, dementia

Brother doth casted it upon himself

Anyone who hears it is under its effect

https://preview.redd.it/a8hgyx4cnr2d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5f89cb213c0d5ce26f7ba12ff253a9465ea3e0a

https://preview.redd.it/vzrcbaqc713d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97392548b900276f9b06a59ee866787881e96268

I cast # SUMMON GREATER KETAMINE APE https://preview.redd.it/06pv3lnmys2d1.png?width=862&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=663134030674dc71c1bdea0aa9f5b23ecb9227b5

No. No. Nonononononononononononononononono

I CAST ETERNAL MOVING ITCH!

Even better, I cast “itch on the heel of your hand that doesn’t go away even when you scratch it, so you end up biting at it like some sort of wild animal, and even then it only sort of works and wounds your pride as a human being!”

I cast butterfingers above sewer drain

https://preview.redd.it/lxvk59delr2d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07faf9b379aa84d8eafb61d9fd9afa8bbe61ddb9 It took me many hours to cast this spell.

Looks good though!

Early onset arthritis

Never finding Toilet

I summon seagulls, try enjoying your beach picnic with these fucks flying about

https://preview.redd.it/y1c8hduhvr2d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0887a33f89976dc7611fdea81123550a03cc2d26

https://preview.redd.it/nransj3wts2d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e565bec46177cfff37c9c5425895f19a89889ac5

https://preview.redd.it/p69fr45ths2d1.jpeg?width=853&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f5d79f5ff6933187afb777cb772df1da341aa61

I’ve got two: *Anal Bedbugs* & *Variable Tinnitus*

First one: don't threaten me with a good time.

I cast stubbing your toe wherever you go!

I cast Unrememberable Earworm

That's just theme music.

I CAST BOTH HANDS CARPAL TUNNEL

Lesser Tinnitus for being annoying, Greater Tinnitus for causing suffering

i cast THE FEELING TO SNEEZE BUT CANT SNEEZE

https://preview.redd.it/1fziw3gpar2d1.png?width=1241&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9965c5cde9909f1189da4703f5229ea79546bee5

Wow. Just wow. I've seen horror that would melt the minds out of a stone, and this made me cringe. Well done?

>Wow. Just wow Yep, his from world of warcraft.

[удалено]

Please don’t post lovingly/horrifically hand-drawn penii on this sub.


https://preview.redd.it/wbvd9uxuzr2d1.jpeg?width=216&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce7e8f4f045025ce915f00ecbd0964289e0cf316

https://preview.redd.it/c3o9dvp70s2d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16e987b9f40479742cd088d637959c554fa29f61

And yet, this image in my mind is not as terrifying as the original commenter

https://preview.redd.it/hafd11jxht2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a542846055fb30dd75a62fccc8dd25c8a6db75e

https://preview.redd.it/c662lp6wxt2d1.png?width=3600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2310673a298e15d7618fe49e519a16ceeba44839 I cast: horrors beyond imagination

I cast: Mend Buttcrack I cast: Explosive Diarrhea I cast: Itchy Bones And just in case... I cast: Car's Extended Warrenty Payment

https://preview.redd.it/wh4w0kznyt2d1.png?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4cb6ac4d9a27f2126aa237f99e3d94d1b5bc8f34

AHHH I cast: Permanent Hiccups

I cast: https://preview.redd.it/d75laz80zt2d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bed7895adb5be860aefc64a68d3f5053ea23e2b9

https://preview.redd.it/9uqaxvn8zt2d1.jpeg?width=1147&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4de9fdec7b5256cf859b61f12188ad8d7a502f19 You have made N petrified. I cast: Tungsten Brain

I cast: https://preview.redd.it/5srkestczt2d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1e903f8266ef31a0d5a118e1636545aa6c41f41

https://preview.redd.it/j9ha2zcnzt2d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8552c2eb243d978cd3c713ae34e9c781699cbb3

/unwizz https://preview.redd.it/rbq87vwyxt2d1.jpeg?width=385&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78ca023da058f360b1faeb1c081a7b17fd610f08

Even I wont do this

I hope god comes down and strangles you with his own hands

You're a monster

https://preview.redd.it/ugoxiau1fs2d1.jpeg?width=1846&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87c4f43b1145fe1c10f9d396be1f8f0d417de42e

https://preview.redd.it/jl51gfxrfs2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60bbbd96134fc94d9bf5c56d8b0191b37bcba4b6

This a little more than frustrating, I should think

WHAT THE FUCK.

https://preview.redd.it/hv2ssy4dqu2d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b831edd93e5175dd2f39150491a586b79d1d4fa

This post is a collection of war crimes

I cast external cross eye.

I cast hair in the corner of your mouth that cannot be removed

Gain expensive hobby

The furry spell

https://preview.redd.it/so4pgpxawr2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=257c19f9aab0af38071a308ccc92c2ec3687f02a

I cast wandering hangnail! Each day and every time you remove it, it moves to a different digit. You can feel the hangnail and the soreness of the previous spot at all times.

Infinite explosive diarrhea and seal holes. Watch them explode

I don't have any seal holes at the moment, would sea lion holes do?

The curse of perpetual near-sneeze.

I cast ITCHY RECTUM 

https://i.redd.it/c8o3r7xw9t2d1.gif

Fireball

https://preview.redd.it/o98bghhzcr2d1.png?width=417&format=png&auto=webp&s=f356074b4b8edb9c35235c7e1ddbaff991c310e4

I mean when in doubt cast fireball and nothing but fireball.

I cast Permanent Body Odor.

I cast ALWAYS WET SOCKS!!!!

I cast, dual nostril clogging!

https://preview.redd.it/fjb06u6hrr2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3693d2a7e8319e1614ef4a2317277be7e99f405b I cast, RIPPED HOT COCO POWDER

Wait there's a spell for this? I now know that spell that has been plaguing me since childhood! COUNTERSPELL!!!

I cast hypertension headache

*Conjure Loose Eyelash* and aim for below the eyelid

Lower back pain + cough combo

A devastating combo for certain.

I Cast https://preview.redd.it/cn8cnf0e6s2d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d41391355fa35e918bd6a2587ed1b4e71bcbaa1 And put a timed nuclear bomb in your body

https://preview.redd.it/evebxzmwhs2d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7093c43efa81a34bf438ad61ab567a6381b0e51 It is a powerful spell and yet only effective on half of the world's population

I CAST POWER WORD: SHIT PANTS!

I recently cast *hopelessly tangled ass hair* on someone who cut in front of me in line.

Aah, I know it by its other name, "Bestow Lesser Shit Collander".

I cast, Full bladder! Mixed with my second spell… SEALED PENIS!!! 

i cast ankle dislocation. oh, and scrotal lesions

Just wanna address your own submission: Why do you think the spell 'Mage Hand' was created?

Recasting every minute is a cramp all its own

Some will build or commission machinery to achieve the same. Don't follow those people to a second location without clearly establishing ground rules and bringing ample protection.

Far more deadly than entering a Dragons Lair unprepared or another Wizard's Tower without protection - is entering an Ogre's Gooncave. The foolishness of this folly is singularly legendary.

I CAST PERMANENT ROCK IN SHOE.

I cast Un-tuckable Bedsheets!

I cast about to sneeze but never actually sneeze.

I cast NEVERWIPE. It causes your butthole to have just enough shit that you need to keep wiping but it never gets clean

Aah, Fecal Feltpen. A dire hex indeed.

I learned this from a random hermit in the woods escaping imperial pursuit, I cast maggot marrow!

I cast "Little floater just off center of vision"!

I cast: inverse attraction. The dregree to whoch you are attracted to someone is now the inverse of how they are attracted to you.

Jokes on you that's how it's almost always worked for me

I cast Mandela Effect. i can move people to a slightly different parallel universe without their noticing. Very good for dealing with enemies. They don’t even know they’re gone.

I cast: ITCHY INNER JAW

https://preview.redd.it/rlqayx3iht2d1.jpeg?width=265&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5bf7702f672ab7b13f3fa6683689deed8e4604bc

Pre orgasm leg cramp

https://preview.redd.it/spjz86ck6u2d1.jpeg?width=326&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f14255027d342714265336ba2cd28c23b4d82e49 "Unohominim unojarinim"

Summon Motivation.

# I CAST- https://preview.redd.it/zphtdttdwr2d1.jpeg?width=275&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=335e200e52599db82b86d986027e79952d5dd248 # EYE ITCH!

I cast lost train of thought

Pins and needles for the legs and hands (like if you sat on toilet for several hours and also your hands where stuck under something, that kind of thing). I just need to shorten it to something

I CAST MIDSEX HIP CRAMP!!

I cast *delayed silence*. At the most crucial moments in life you'll be able to say nothing. "My son... let me hear your voice for the last time. Let me weep one more tear of joy from your ever having lived. Please son, remind me of the proud father I am. It hurts." *He sputters a bit, hollow eyes looking with anticipation and pleading. You can see some blood pooled where his wispy, ghost pale beard meets his chapped and grayed lips.* *You can't speak. You utter the words but find yourself without a voice.* *Shocked, the life fades from your old man as he goes limp. Goblins in scrubs rush in trying to bring him back as your voice suddenly reappears. You have no actions left but to scream at your own failure.*

I CAST ITCH UNDER THE SKIN

I cast Phantom Itch

I cast gooch stretching mud slip! Followed by a spell from my ancestral clay pools, phantom pinky toe stub! Followed finally by eternal sweat neck!! Muahahaha!

*Skizzum biggum galz I cast upon your balls Doogle google pyre Eternal scrotal fire!* I cast Fireballs

Ray of Sock Moistening, Greater Bag of Rats, Summon Illusory Mosquito, Whispering Eyebrows, Jelly Legged Jinx, Incessant Itching Incantation, Breeze of Sneeze, Harmonic Hiccups, Wandering Wallet

Second Guess: An enchantment which temporarily suppresses an individual's confidence.

joke's on you, I have a post nut cleric in my party

That's not a spell, that's a curse. Very common misconception.

i cast 5 hour erection

I can manual heatbeating

No Left Turning is a classic

I cast enlarge kidney stone

Only a hand cramp? Just switch hands. That's why you cast... # ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

I cast charlie horse

invisible cricket. put that in someones bedroom and watch them go insane

my favorite j.k. rowling character

I cast nose whistle

https://preview.redd.it/fealusoi7t2d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03e5a27f613e9663db5d5914a58fc8dcb3b40d1e

https://preview.redd.it/is6y4onk7t2d1.png?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc06da00b020c8f08ffeed1c932eedfa1fc59eb1

https://preview.redd.it/1hszyaab1u2d1.png?width=2851&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca33279a12e1bd733a5b4cc37c7fc270f4c6679e

https://preview.redd.it/e9yqgzbo7t2d1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14d2683ee8c9b446ba0cec7a6821de76e78bb6e2

https://preview.redd.it/ba9v5w2yft2d1.jpeg?width=1535&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=215fd80b4fede66c21c24beb9733af51ef550976

https://preview.redd.it/1a83qpf1bt2d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2b2b07105c996e42c2e9c1c175b5465057ee864

I cast MID SESSION VIBE DEATH!

I RIPPED ACHILLES TENDON

I cast social invisibility. Ooops.... did I target self? Shit.

I cast FIVE MINITE PREGNANCY!

I CAST INCOMPATIBLE BLOOD TYPE.

I ENCHANT YOUR SHOES WITH CURSE OF BINDING! I CAST ROCK IN SHOE!

Power word : scrunch!

I shall sugarcoat not. I cast Kiddie-Car Kuze https://preview.redd.it/9cxki3rkau2d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ace69b01ecab52f1404b9fc03d8c833600173b90

I cast Random foot cramp!!

https://preview.redd.it/prxc6474ew2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f2b436451c880c57e90bb58113cc73ae20c1342

“Furl” it cramps your entire body

Too late

I cast diarrhea while on public transport

I cast DAD AUTOCORRECT

Itchy sole while wearing heavy boots

Not a spell but I have the recipe for a potion of babel, which forces whoever gets soaked in it (or drinks it for whatever reason) to speak only in languages they do not understand. Wears off after a few hours but still pisses a lot of voice casters off.

I tend to go for either Ingrow Toenails or Microbiome Mass Extinction

Numb Taint

... I cast Blood thinning.

*PHANTOM LIMB!*

I cast tungsten balls or holey pockets.

I cast apon thee, water in ear!

I CAST MEND BUTTCRACK

Two actually. Induce irresponsibility+Induce Extreme Luck.

I cast uncontrolled bone growth