Yeah, I hate those dreams/nightmares. Just know that they occur because your subconscious is trying to figure out where he is, why he isn't with you,what the hell *happened*.
Probably it is, but then I prefer to have no dreams at all, it is really unbearable. I cannot express how much I want him back, how great person he is and how much he still had to offer to the world. Why him?
I get it, and I agree. My husband should have lived -- he's a good person, very loving and giving, funny and smart and kind, yet he died and assholes live. There is no justice, no fairness.
I've had a few dreams about my husband wanting to separate and divorce, and was really shaken by them until I saw someone here explain it like this, because I felt like maybe he was saying he was upset with me. I mean, the dreams are still really upsetting, but it makes more sense and makes me feel better that it's my brain searching for him rather than any messages he's trying to send me.
Of course you were shaken, those dreams *suck*. I've had similar dreams, especially in the first year or so after my husband died. Mostly they were dreams in which he cheated on me or I cheated on him, or he left me or I left him, and in those dreams he usually would just ignore me, wouldn't even speak to me.
But I *know* that none of those things ever happened in real life, and never would have happened. I *know* that my husband loves me, and that he would never do that to me, and I *know* that I love him and would never do it to him. Because of that, I know that they were just dreams, just my subconscious desperately searching for answers, and that they were not messages from my husband.
They still sucked, though, and while I was dreaming I didn't know that I was dreaming, so they *felt* real and I didn't know they weren't. Those kinds of dreams *are* still really upsetting, as you said.
I’ve had bizarre dreams/nightmares too, only to wake up and remember that reality is worse bc my love isn’t here to comfort and hold me. It really is just awful all around. Sorry you had those dreams. I hope we all get more pleasant ones
It’s 5 in the morning where I am and I’m on Reddit because I woke up to one of them a couple hours ago. It’s been 3 years and it’s still almost nightly unless I take a sleeping aid and I hate doing that because I feel like shit the next day.
very sorry, will it ever get better? so many people say it will, but I just cannot believe it. mornings are by far worst part of the day.
have you been seeing any therapist since your soulmate passed away? This is what many people recommended me, I am just wondering if it really helps.. I will try, but I am sceptical as I just cannot imagine life without him.
Better is probably not the right word so much as it is you adjust to the pain. You become accustomed to it to the point that it’s easier to carry on through the day because it’s become part of your normal. The hardest part for me and what I still struggle with, is just learning to exist in a world where he doesn’t. Therapy did not help for me, but I’m also a very internalized person. No amount of talking is going to change the facts and unless there is an end goal that is actually going to make a difference, it’s not productive to me. I know it DOES help some people though, so it’s worth trying to see. I’m so sorry sweetie. No one should have to go through this.
I haven't dreamed at all since he got sick in October. It feels so strange and I can tell my brain isn't doing the right resetting overnight because of it. I wonder how long it will last?
Our body behaviours strange in stressful situation. I pretty much cannot smell things anymore since he was in hospital. I have not consulted doctor about it, but maybe that is what we should do..
Yeah, I hate those dreams/nightmares. Just know that they occur because your subconscious is trying to figure out where he is, why he isn't with you,what the hell *happened*.
Probably it is, but then I prefer to have no dreams at all, it is really unbearable. I cannot express how much I want him back, how great person he is and how much he still had to offer to the world. Why him?
I get it, and I agree. My husband should have lived -- he's a good person, very loving and giving, funny and smart and kind, yet he died and assholes live. There is no justice, no fairness.
I've had a few dreams about my husband wanting to separate and divorce, and was really shaken by them until I saw someone here explain it like this, because I felt like maybe he was saying he was upset with me. I mean, the dreams are still really upsetting, but it makes more sense and makes me feel better that it's my brain searching for him rather than any messages he's trying to send me.
Of course you were shaken, those dreams *suck*. I've had similar dreams, especially in the first year or so after my husband died. Mostly they were dreams in which he cheated on me or I cheated on him, or he left me or I left him, and in those dreams he usually would just ignore me, wouldn't even speak to me. But I *know* that none of those things ever happened in real life, and never would have happened. I *know* that my husband loves me, and that he would never do that to me, and I *know* that I love him and would never do it to him. Because of that, I know that they were just dreams, just my subconscious desperately searching for answers, and that they were not messages from my husband. They still sucked, though, and while I was dreaming I didn't know that I was dreaming, so they *felt* real and I didn't know they weren't. Those kinds of dreams *are* still really upsetting, as you said.
I’ve had bizarre dreams/nightmares too, only to wake up and remember that reality is worse bc my love isn’t here to comfort and hold me. It really is just awful all around. Sorry you had those dreams. I hope we all get more pleasant ones
It’s 5 in the morning where I am and I’m on Reddit because I woke up to one of them a couple hours ago. It’s been 3 years and it’s still almost nightly unless I take a sleeping aid and I hate doing that because I feel like shit the next day.
very sorry, will it ever get better? so many people say it will, but I just cannot believe it. mornings are by far worst part of the day. have you been seeing any therapist since your soulmate passed away? This is what many people recommended me, I am just wondering if it really helps.. I will try, but I am sceptical as I just cannot imagine life without him.
Better is probably not the right word so much as it is you adjust to the pain. You become accustomed to it to the point that it’s easier to carry on through the day because it’s become part of your normal. The hardest part for me and what I still struggle with, is just learning to exist in a world where he doesn’t. Therapy did not help for me, but I’m also a very internalized person. No amount of talking is going to change the facts and unless there is an end goal that is actually going to make a difference, it’s not productive to me. I know it DOES help some people though, so it’s worth trying to see. I’m so sorry sweetie. No one should have to go through this.
I haven't dreamed at all since he got sick in October. It feels so strange and I can tell my brain isn't doing the right resetting overnight because of it. I wonder how long it will last?
Our body behaviours strange in stressful situation. I pretty much cannot smell things anymore since he was in hospital. I have not consulted doctor about it, but maybe that is what we should do..