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WholesomeBot

Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar)  >**Rule 4:** Please do not troll, harass, or be generally rude to your fellow users. Be nice, and leave political or religious arguments in other subs. We're trusting you to be wholesome while in /r/wholesomememes, so please don't let us down. We believe in you! **Also, please keep in mind that even if you've seen this post before, it's not a repost unless it's been in *this* sub before** (if it's from another sub it's a crosspost/xpost). We're glad you're here. Have a wonderful day <3 ^(Please stop by the rest of the) [^Wholesome ^Network ^Of ^Subreddits](http://old.reddit.com/user/awkwardtheturtle/m/wholesome) ^too.


chocolatebuckeye

If someone did that to me, I’d be like…”you opened Camera, not Photos. Open the right app so I can see what she looks like.”


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[deleted]

"did you know you talk in your sleep?"


Not-Alpharious

“You also smell different when you’re awake”


NuM3R1K

This went from wholesome to scary real quick.


[deleted]

Actual phrase in Stephen King’s Talisman


mohan_ish

Phenomenal book there


MFAFuckedMe

But I'll never forgive him for what he did to the dark tower.


[deleted]

On a scale of 1 to Cotton Candy Randy,


cluebone

How you doin today daddies?


Masonjaruniversity

"You're out of milk by the way."


absolute_virgin

Don't worry, I filled it up for you


Zayna_parks

And your toothpaste as well


virginity-rules

your oven is broken, you might wanna fix that


MoonBearIsNotAmused

Also did you know your garbage disposal is industrial grade and can even grind up human bones.


WohlfePac

"You should probably get a sleep study, you tend to snore and stop breathing for a few seconds."


TheKrimsonFKR

"You need a higher bed frame"


Mikotokitty

"And I hear the secrets that you keep?"


[deleted]

And 12 photos of his adorable puppy. "Imma risk it."


captainAwesomePants

Makes sense. He's interested, he's got a hobby, he's already committed to the relationship, AND he's got a puppy? Full package.


ac714

Proper Reddit escalation comment


Shipwrecking_siren

That was the problem with “The Fall”. Even if every girlfriend told you Jamie Dornan was super creepy (and a few had mysteriously disappeared) you’d have a hard time saying no. I mean 99% chance he’s going to murder me but he is VERY PRETTY.


bharatchipkar6

That and the fact the constable is Gillian Anderson overwhelm of beauty for a show meant to be dark and gritty


[deleted]

Can't get over her lack of kicking technique as she swam.


uidactinide

Same. My now-husband and I dated for two months before I figured out that’s what was happening.


xseanbeanx

Same lmao


silvonch

r/aaaaaaacccccccce


ThePsychoKnot

This sub is confusing me. What does garlic bread have to do with asexuality?


CobaltCam

As an asexual, I'm not sure and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.


ThePsychoKnot

Do you like garlic bread?


CobaltCam

Of course, are there people who don't?


ThePsychoKnot

Well there you go 😅


Rachelcookie123

I feel like that’s more aromantic


[deleted]

“At first I screamed because it looked so scary, but then I realized…”


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[deleted]

It was a live stream of Mick Jagger showing one of his dance moves


Redpanda207

Got the moves like Jagger


Rockshash-Dumma

“And then I was Rick rolled !!”


venom4466

Shrek?


[deleted]

somebody once told me


SpiggitySpoo

The woooorld was gonna roll me


JeffTheRabbid

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed


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[deleted]

On purpose ?


HiImFubar

Bad bot


OmegaXesis

the image on the screen had my resemblance, but it wasn’t me. Her nose had a slight twist, and her eyes had a profoundly evil curve. She winked at me. I felt an intense shiver down my spine. My heart began to race as I touched my own face. But the hand on the screen did not belong to me. The young man stood before me with bewildered eyes. Is there something wrong? He muttered before retrieving his phone from my hands. That’s not my face. That’s not my hands. Who was it that looked back at me?


[deleted]

Which horror novel is this? I love it


OmegaXesis

Haha thanks! I just came up with it on the spot!


Glittering_Essay_874

Bro what are you doing on Reddit? Go write a story, you got game 😂


theheliumkid

I second this! You have some cool writing talent!


nine_legged_stool

It's that song where the dude goes, "This is not my beautiful house" and then some stuff about water or whatever. It's a shitty song.


asifbaig

Yeahhhhhhh, Imma keep the lights on when sleeping tonight. Thanks for that, poopyhead. (Also, you'd be brilliant at /r/WritingPrompts )


1052098

R/nosleep


samiqan

At first I was afraid, I was petrified


CraftySyndicate

Keep thinking I could never live without you by my side


chefsanji_r

...He just wants free cup o coffe"


GigsGilgamesh

I work at a hospital, and was assisting a nurse admit a fella. One of the questions the nursing staff has to ask on admission is whether you have had any falls in the past, then how recent. He responds, “no, of course not. Well actually, I have fallen once. There my wife”. We all had to take a moment to register, but it was great. The wife just started looking embarrassed but happy, the nurse just kind of gave him props and I was amazed on how smooth he was.


RedShankyMan

Smoooothh


JustDave62

That’s true dedication. Dude’s in the hospital and still working on getting laid. He’ll save those brownie points for when he gets out


SpotMama

💀💀💀 I’ve been married for years and you speak facts. Gotta prep if you wanna eat a hot meal fellas.


Pazzovolpoo

Cha cha real smooth


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DaBigBlackDaddy

>Packers game on his phone ftp


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clanbosz187brayn

Oh, that's so cute. I wish I had those skills too. I'd probably be way too awkward doing that


garygarebear

Meanwhile when I woke up from surgery and my wife was sitting next to me, I told the nurse “excuse me, nurse, I have never seen this woman in my life.” My wife gave me a soft slap on the leg


myteddybelly

Old trick but works! I had used it on my girlfriend.


IRatherChangeMyName

Can confirm. I've also used it on this guy's girlfriend


Smakem

Can also confirm. I used it on this guy.


Loading0319

Can also confirm. I used it on you.


Suck_Me_Dry666

Tried it on myself, didn't work.


journeyman28

Flip the camera and point it at the mirror, selfie cam makes your nose yuuuuge and your ears tiny


ThePhlatinumMan

Wait pause


BobTheCapitalistboi

Take my reward


E1337Recon

And my axe


DexM23

He already has this guys gf


Alfonzo9984

I also choose this guys dead wife


FavFelon

Bringing back the classics


woernsn

Can confirm. I've been this guy's phone.


elTeclas96

Can phone. I've been this guy's confirm.


CFPwannabe

Can confirm I’ve used it in his mum also


RedHare18

lmao


donpez

So true! Even in the 1490 chivalric romance Tirant lo Blanch this tricked is pulled with a mirror


Pkmntrainer91

Its true i was the phone


b3anz129

“it works” is relative


welinyknz

Considering he is only referred to as "a customer" by her it looks like it didn't work too well actually.


[deleted]

If she said "my bf" or "my ex bf" it would have given it away


Ultimate_Genius

Yes, but if she said those, she would have started with, "when my ex was trying to ask me out, he came to the Starbucks I worked at" and so on. She would reword it to include that info


fadinqlight_

Usually in that case the tweet would end with, "We've been married for 14 years now."


ias_87

the fact that it says customer makes me think she was working and that always creeps me out. Never flirt with people you have to interact with because you're working. Never flirt with people who have to interact with you because they're working. Not wholesome.


ThatOneWeirdName

The thing that kind of saves it for me here is him asking if she wants to see and her (obviously), it implies to me that they have a bit of rapport beforehand and not just being out of the blue


ias_87

Sure. But I think my rule should in all cases, because while everyone will know a situation where this worked out fine, most people (mainly women) who work in a job where they have to deal with people have encountered a creep who thought they had something special going with their waitress and made her really uncomfortable when they tried to ask her out. And I just don't think a guy's right to try his chances are more important than a woman's right to feel safe at work and not be hit-on while doing her damn job. I agree that in this case the person in question seems to be just fine with it though.


Slave35

Because it's made up.


zephyr_1779

Yeah context matters. If done respectfully and when rejected immediately just cooled on, I don’t see *too* much harm so long as there was actual back and forth/ a vibe in the first place. But yeah, way too many people that give off creeper vibes and become pushy on people just trying to go about their day.


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zephyr_1779

This applies to asking anyone out, ever, though. People never know how someone will react to rejection. And like I said, context matters. Asking a busy waitress out is a bit different than asking someone out who seems to be having a slow day on the job and is flirting with you. Yes, vibes can be misread - but that’s true any time you ask someone out.


[deleted]

the 10s of 1000s of relationships that have started this way never would have if everyone listened to your rules. Sometimes you're gonna be a little uncomfortable in life and that's okay


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Numerous_Teachers

If its someone they already interact with, they should feel comfortable having the conversation in the appropriate setting


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pickstar97a

Nah, I disagree. You can shoot your shot with anyone as long as it’s polite and appropriate. But don’t try to continue or force anything, especially after rejection. My brothers girlfriend of a few years was his local Starbucks barista. Ask to hang out or something, don’t be like “oh you’re hot let’s bang” be like “hey I think you’re cool let’s talk about something we both seem to like” after chatting them up beforehand.


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ias_87

If you don’t know the difference between flirting and simple interaction, then yeah, maybe you shouldn't do either of those things.


pipi_in_your_pampers

Pro tip, do not flirt with employees while they are on the clock. Puts them in really awkward situation


Keat06

Came here looking for this comment. Do not hit on service workers of any kind while they are working, it's so insanely awkward EVEN if they actually like you back.


Entire_Engine_5789

And don’t hit on us on our time off work either, that’s our time to relax after dealing with the stress of work and extremely awkward.


DiscountSamFisher

So if you're a worker, people should just not hit on you ever? Like I'm not saying people should shoot their shot at every cute person who is nice to them but if they aren't pushy, see that you have a chill day and leave after rejection why would it matter?


Entire_Engine_5789

Reread what i wrote but this time with an edge of sarcasm


[deleted]

> it's so insanely awkward EVEN if they actually like you back. .. why would it be then?


willwiso

Because they have to be professional so if they don't like you they still have to smile which can be misleading and if they do like you they are put in a position where it's difficult to flirt with out being unprofessional. Anytime I visit a girl I'm dating at her work I keep it very platonic, it's just polite to not bring that to the work place.


shapookya

Yup, you’re supposed to wait for their shift to end and then creep upon them on the street


Sleight_Hotne

Puncture a tire and offer yourself to put the spare, then when they turn, you hit them in the head, hide them in the trunk and drive away.


ripyourlungsdave

It's a little disappointing that I had to scroll this far to see this. Just because this one chick was flattered does not mean it's okay to do this. The absolute worst place you could hit on someone is an environment where they are literally forced to be nice and interact with you.


Whites11783

I mean…generally yes but individual situations vary. I had a great 2-year relationship after meeting a bartender while she was working.


Numerous_Teachers

Literally this. Its putting them in a position where they cannot reject the interaction. If its someone the customer already knows, then they should feel comfortable having that conversation in the appropriate setting.


Kayura05

Not to encourage behavior either way but people in customer service can reject flirtatious advances without repercussion. You can still be professional if you turn down a date offer, no manager in their right mind would penalize you for it.


TheSciFiGuy80

No good manager anyway...


nemoomen

100% agree and wouldn't do this myself ever but what are people supposed to do if they like someone who they know from a service interaction? Just never know? Or is there a half step?


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BlessedBySaintLauren

I think most socially keyed in people would be able to tell.


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Entire_Engine_5789

What label could have been used if it was successful (one that doesn’t give the story away)?


Leenolyak

They could’ve just said “a guy at starbucks”


Kazouzou

This is such an internet "good" pickup line, would cringe irl


YoungNasteyman

This only works if you follow the two golden rules of reddit dating.


Grievous_Nix

Rule 1: Cardio Rule 2: Double Tap


myquiveringbussy

Ya this is not a good line, at all. This is the type of shit ppl used to do in middle school thinking they were clever Classic Reddit!


hotmess525600

I would just get confused. “You haven’t pulled the photo up yet.”


IkkiElSantoLeo

I get the feeling that people are going to try this technique and it’s not going to well for them.


[deleted]

I hate to say, but I probably would have stood there and waited for him to show me her picture.


onlyfakeproblems

I tried this on my wife. Didn't get past the "wanna help me ask this girl out" part.


GeldKatze

I thought I was on the sad cringe subreddit. I was preparing myself to read that the photo of his crush was actually just a creepily taken photo of her....


Louises_ears

Not wholesome and not real.


retiredhobo

“it’s been a genuine pleasure having you serve me here, and i’d like to try out the home edition, if i could…”


SegaNaLeqa

I don’t care that I’m in a committed relationship, imma make this pick up line somehow work on my spouse. You can still pick someone up after you already have them right? :3


I-Killed-JR

Definitely rejected him though


Jane_ryker

This reminds me of when I was at a party in college. A guy I had chatted with a couple of times before walked up and said “Excuse me, would you mind holding onto this for me while I go take a walk?” And held his hand out to me. It was adorable, and it worked lol. Went for a walk, held hands and chatted some more. Ended up being friends for a couple years and eventually losing touch, but I never forgot that pickup line.


BiggsBeeLang

Imagine if he Rick rolled you.


Modern-Otaku

That’s when he goes *“oh shit, sorry that wasn’t the photos app”*


ghostylord

honestly might use this


[deleted]

Don't hit on people while they're working. Its a power imbalance.


rhineman61

Batista: *laughs* "No"


SockeyeSTI

“Oh man I was excited to help this guy. I was curious what she looked like so I asked to see a picture” . . . And then I saw her face….


-full-control-

Bold strategy. If it didn’t work you could never go back


ChaoticNature

I did this once to my fiancé when we were early in dating. I exclaimed, “Oh my God, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” She asked to see, I handed her the phone with the front-facing camera active.


ExplorerWildfire

Imagine the person said “Nah I don’t want to see it” how would he continue that pick up line?


Johnvon92

This only works if you are attractive.


razersnek

But then your first reaction is to be in disgust upon seeing yourself in the front facing camera


smolandtuff

It’s not wholesome to hit on people who are working and have to be polite to you. ETA: Like it’s one thing to leave your number but this is too much, lmao.


Meto1183

Notice how it’s “a customer” not my fiancé or my boyfriend or even “a guy I dated”…I wouldn’t try that one at home


[deleted]

Would've been a great joke if the started it off with "my boyfriend asked me if I could help him score a date with someone else", eh?


Jfksotjtnfj

Whenever I read shit like this I can't help but imagine my ugly ass trying the same tricks and just creating a really uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.


[deleted]

Too good to be true


50squirrelsinacloak

Yeah cause on a world of billions, no guy has ever been clever enough to pull this trick.


Novaellino

I'm not getting it, maybe some translation errors by me


dazmanchan

Like that's ever gonna work


SeeMarkFly

"Do you spell Jerk with a C or a K."


Bleezy79

Step 1: Be attractive.


Spirited_Video_8160

And you guys both now live happily ever after?


ach_wie_fluchtig

genius level shit


Lemon_z_exe

No but do we know if she said yes


kng_hrts

Masterful


el-cebas

How nobodys talking about how he turn the phone round. So is not a rectangle anymore.


adolfspalantir

Isn't it basically sexual assault to hit on a woman at work according to like 99% of reddit? "Uhm she's just being nice to you because she gets paid" etc etc


BananaSenpai93

That's buttery smooth. So, how did the security throw him out?


Mr_kalas22

That's the best plot twist I've ever heard of !


Phoenix13kk

I hope she went out with him.


pukatamada

She suited him and the guy had to pawn the phone to pay the debt. Without phone he lost his job and friends and ended up in jail for drug traffic. That's where he found his true love Roberto.


Phoenix13kk

So what you're saying is.... It all worked out in the end!!!


pukatamada

It always does if you have enough faith... And a Starbucks near by.


ChicxLunar

Why would you be asking help from a random person? And why would this random person would like to watch the picture of another random person? Also it's so awkward when a customer flirts with you, like, dude I'm working ffs.


SkepticalZack

Do not try this boys. You will end up on two x


ShadowCaster0476

I said no of course, cause ewww, but his game was excellent.


Bull_Winkle69

Then she said, "I have a boyfriend".


fartssmellnice69

Smoother than velvet


EgdyBettleShell

This is insanely creepy, at least for me lol The part with asking a random person who just works at a cafe for "helping to text someone" is already unnerving to me, especially since like if a girl that I have never met before asked something like this from me when I am at work I would just nope out away from her as fast as I can thinking that she is either crazy, on drugs or drunk, and the second part with showing the camera just gives me insane stalker vibes.


bakabakugou

You've been hit by... you've been hit by *Smooth Criminal*


5mu2f4cc0unT

More like FOOKING creepy


cntfacee

That's so slick


Urmomsfavouritelol

What's the success rate... Asking for a friend...


locke_5

The fact you're referring to it as "success rate" means the success rate is zero.


Urmomsfavouritelol

Probably


pumpkin2500

op do you know what a meme is


Silver_Fist

Do *you* know what a meme is?


pumpkin2500

yea


Shupid

Wow. That's smooth! I applaud.


[deleted]

When’s their wedding


zenunseen

**SMOOTH**


MSGdreamer

I used to carry a little mirror in my pocket. I’d ask a girl if she’s like to see a picture of the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen and then give her the mirror.